Conference 7.286::sports_91

JoJ is right!

Ever since they outlawed Junk Noting it's been.....

	...THEY OUTLAWED JUNK NOTING!!?!?!?!!?!!!

What the HAIL are you talking about!?!?!?

	You can't outlaw Junk Noting!!!

		Junk Noting IS!

That's like saying `Ever since they outlawed air...'!

Sheeesh! Let's be serious, now.... otay?

Nexted thing you know they'll be trying to outlaw drugs!

Mike JN

    
    Re: -1
    
    "If junk noting is outlawed, only outlaws will junk note."
    
    "I'll give up my junk noting, when they pry the keyboard from under my
    cold, dead fingers."
    
    Dickstah "I'm the JNA"
    
    

>>Nexted thing you know they'll be trying to outlaw drugs!
    
    Reality is for people who can't face drugs!!!!!!  many (8^0*
    
    JaKe
    

    In the context of sports.notes, junk notes simply cain't exist.
    Moreover, the very definition of "junk" is the junkiest thing
    possible.
    
    MrT

    No junk notes?  Who said that?  They probably sweat a lot...

>Two -  Started reading that book Mr T was talkng about awhile back -
>Foucalt's Pendulum - HAH!

On MrT's advice, I also attempted to read one of the works of his favorite
authors - Thomas Pynchon's Vineland.   I tried.  I really tried.  But I 
couldn't get past the first ten pages without saying "This guy is America's
litery genius?"    Being more of a John Irving, John Updike, Robert Parker
"in yo face" type, I confess that I threw the book away.

Startling news yesterday:

	a. Elvis is dead.
	b. Elvis died from drugs.

TTom

    Elvis was seen at Marcos' Birthday Party
    
    
    He ain't daid!!!!
    
    ;^)
    
    

    
       I know Elvis ain't dead. He's QBing at Michigan :^>
    
       Bull~
    

    What's a "Junk Note"???????????????????
    
    JaKe
    

And under the heading of "And Now for Something Completely Different:"


	Has anyone noticed that Taraq Aziz, the Iraqi Foreign Minister
	looks just like Larry Tate, Darren's boss in the old
	"Bewitched" TV series?

	How's that for Separated at Birth?

'Saw

    Can we keep all "my team is better than your" or "how many
    championships does your team have" or "what was the score last week"
    debates in here?

>
>    Can we keep all "my team is better than your" or "how many
>    championships does your team have" or "what was the score last week"
>    debates in here?

Hopefully, be careful moderating, the 'my team is better' etc stuff,
can be kept to a minimum.  

What was the score last week could probably go in the scoreboard
topic...

HO,
'Saw

Excellent Note, Hawkeronymous... as usual!

Insightful, incisive, incestuou.. uh.. no.. not that... let's see......

Insightful, Incisive, and....uh.... what?

Intrepid!
That's it!
Insightful, Incisive, intrepid, and incontinent.... N O !
Not incontinent. I didn't mean that.
uh..... Intuitive... that's what I meant!

Insightful, incisive, intrepid, intuitive, intriguing, interesting,
insouciant, intumescent, innervating,  in... uh.. wait a minute....
Did I say intumescent? I didn't mean that. Meant something else. What?
Probably... uh... INEXPIABLE! Exactly

So.
Insightful, incisive, uh.... and so forth...
you get the idea.
A very nice note.

So!... How are we going to make sure this excellent note doesn't get
cluttered up with Sports Talk.
What are we going to do when we are discussing serious hooters and ...
serious BUSINESS. YES. When we're discussing serious business, and
people start coming in here and talking about how many 400 yard games
Joe Willy had?

Should they be arrested?
Peepees whacked?
What?

We need to figure this stuff out, because... uh... well... just because.

So.

Now you know what I think.
Probably

Mike JN

 Junk Note Topic #1:

 What's you favorite Nynex commercial? I don't mean the sappy ones that come
 in 5 parts like the long lost son returning home. I mean the yellow page
 ones like Dumb Waiters and Civil Engineers...

 My favorite is the Vanity Cases....

 mike 

I've seen those, but never around here.  Guess you folks are
lucky 8^)

We have stupid commercials for the SNET yellow pages.  They
all start like 

	What's your favorite yellow thing in the house.

The most insipid (how's that for a word Karen) of which is the
one with the housewife with that "brain just wiped clean" gaze,
and she says

	My favorite yellow thing is butter.  I remember Mother
	used to bake with it, and then there was the time last
	summer when we put it on ears of corn...

	But last summer, when the lawnmower ran over 45 nuns,
	a blind man, two homosexuals, and a child with one arm
	as they were all chanting "Hari Krishna" on our sidewalk,
	it wasn't butter that helped me find a good attorney...
	It was the SNET yellow pages....


dumb, dumb, dumb......

'Saw

PS  Took a little license in the second paragraph of the commercial....

    Theatrical coaches!
    

    20/20 is going to have a whole show on incontinence this week.  
    
    Now THERE'S a word for Karen

    Fence Installers

Two things:

One    -  What is Nynex commercials?
Two    -  Given Mac's definition, what would a Junk Note look like in
          the Junk Note Topic?
Three  -  What were the most number of home runs that Babe Ruth hit
          IN A SINGLE YEAR?
Fore   -  Why do people say `Fore' in Golf... instead of LOOKOUT!  or
          DUCK!, or something like that?
Five   -  Years ago, when the world was all aflap over the Ayatollah
          Khomeini.... Well...never mind about this one.
Six    -  Does Chainsaw really... you know... like.. with animals?  Or
          is he just bragging?

phoe omenoes nac phel
Mike JN

    NYNex is like Rocky Mt. Bell or whatever it is out there.  Original
    concept done by Godley and Creme (commericials, not NYNEX)
    
    Like this JUNK JUNK JUNK JUNK... (repeat softly while shouting)
    Lovely Junk, beautiful junk....
    
    60 I think
    
    Because when they tee off they say 1.... 2.... 3... swing and fore
    comes next.
    
    A drink with jam and bread...
    
    Don't know, but he sweats enough...
    
    Anyway.... I like Rock Drills, or Fishing Tackles... I don't like the
    one with the guy in the scuba gear, or the one where he jumps through
    the hole in the floor....
    
    

Farm animals, huh.

Well, actually I prefer getting naked under a full moon, annointing
my body with sheep's blood and then running for hours with a nearby
pack of wolves....  (Boy, what a psychiatrist would do with that, eh?)

And, yes, I do belong to Sweaters Anonymous...

'Saw

>>Hopefully, be careful moderating, the 'my team is better' etc stuff,
>>can be kept to a minimum.  

Or moderators can liberally use the SET NOTE/NOTE_ID command to move
inappropriate notes here.

    No, it was more a reference to note 51.... and other people's
    p-names...
    

    re "Fore"
    
    When the game was in it's infancy, the players caddies, when the player
    was ready to hit, would trudge on down the fairway a bit and
    "forecaddie", or watch where the balls were being hit.  The players,
    when ready to hit would yell fore to alert the forecaddies of the
    arriving projectile.
    
    
    Film at 11
    
    JaKe
    

    Mr. Moderator, please remove .38, as it is a serious reply and deeply
    offends me.  :*)
    
    Geez, I thought junk notes were about my car.
    
    Keep those cards and letters coming, folks!
    
    My favorite ad is the Civil Engineers - Classic comedy!
    
    lEe

 favorite Durcell characters? Mine is the cops and robs. I do get a kick
 out the smile on the husband face and the do not disturb sign on the
 honeymoon one...

 mike

I like them all, Mike.  From Zorro to the marathon racers, to the
indy car racers....

Every once in a while a commercial comes along which really captures
my imagination.  the duracell commercials are like that, and any ones
which use claymation (the raisins, the noyd ....)

Least favorite?  Tha stupid *&^*&%*^%ing Everready rabbit....

'Saw

    I *LIKE* the Eveready Rabbit! Any commercial that spoofs other
    comercials is OK by me. My favorite is the "Cristmas With Olga" ad
    (about a truly awful siger/harp player's Chritmas record). Some of the
    titles that scroll by are "Rappin With Santa" and "Reindeer Funk." Yah,
    I can picture those played on a harp...
    
    Tom

Tom --

I like the part about the spoofs, I'm just tired of that rabbit..
I loved the SNL where they had it cross in front of Dennis Miller
and fall into the vat of acid!!!!!

'Saw

   My favorite Bunny commercial is the one for "SITAGAIN" hemorrhoids cream.

Chuck

    Give me that Australian spiked-blond headed crazed looney on 
    the "Energizer" commercials. Right!
    
    MikeL
    

OY!
    

    Actually, I can't pick between the Olga's Xmas harp ad and the soap
    ad where he shows up in the shower in a raincoat.  Lately there've
    been a couple of ads that I was *sure* were going to be the bunny,
    and they were for real products!
    
    The other tough pick is between civil engineers and vanity cases.
    
    A&W

    
    >                  -< Dan,Aseparate Piece? Where's Dickstah! >-
    
    He's right here.  Guess Dan wasn't that impressed with this book, but
    he could probably relate to "Miserable Lay."
    

    As long as it isn't the Herbs one.... that one got on my nerves
    quick...
    
    The best Energizer one was the one when David Letterman wacked it's
    head off with a baseball bat and it still kept moving around... still
    going...

         <<< Note 50.32 by FSOA::JHENDRY "John Hendry, DTN 292-2170" >>>
                        -< Big Brother is Watching You >-
    
    >>went to school, was using the adult section of the public library by
    >>the time I was 9 and always did well in taking tests but especially in
    
    Sheez, the Library where I live never had one of those "adult"
    sections, I always had to sneak into one of those old converted gas
    stations with a pocket full of quarters to see the "adult" stuff.
    
    JaKe
    

>>    JaKe, was that a pocket full of quarters or were you just glad to be
>>    there ???
    
>>    Bob Hunt
    
    I'll never tell, Bob, I'll Never tell.
    
    JaKe
    

  LIVE!!!! The premiere of JOHNNY O'DOUL!!!!!!!!!!!!

  Sunday nite 8:00 fox network....

 the nexted Elvis, the nexted Jimi all rolled intwo one.....

 don't miss it!!!

 mike    

    Rosalind Shays lives !!!  Leland is doing everything she did.  The
    secret deals, the big new clients with a catch, the whole shebang.   A
    very interesting change in character for him.
    
    And Arnie had been having a rather lackluster year up until now. But
    he's come roaring back with this latest caper.  You just knew the old
    Arnie would have been angling to get the young and newly rich divorcee
    into the sack but this new married Arnie was much less agressive.
    
    Now he's back in the saddle again.  And he almost screws up his
    surprise birthday party to boot.  I was rolling as Roxanne was giving
    him holy hell as he was frantically getting dressed.
    
    Bob Hunt

    > And I'm sick of Victor being the upstanding by-the-letter-of-the-law
    > attorney who gets burnt by the guilty client who he gets off the hook. 
    > That new guy (the sleazebag) would've done the "right" thing.......
    
    Yes, but it took another preposterous jury decision to make it all
    possible.  Not only would I expect an emotionally-minded jury to want
    to hang the guy, but I'd expect a rational one to do the same.  The
    guy's story simply wasn't credible, nor was there anything close to a 
    "reasonable doubt", in my opinion.
    
    glenn
    

    	RE: the Energizer rabbit commercials...
    
    	I watched Cheers last night. The closing scene had all
    	the regulars standing around the bar watching Woody build
    	a house out of playing cards. Woody's mumbling something
    	about setting a record, etc. They also have a camera set
    	up on a tripod to take the picture of the record-breaking
    	house. Just as everyone's set, the Energizer rabbit comes
    	through. He's pounding his drum, and, just as the picture
    	is taken, he turns his head toward the camera. I just about
    	wet my pants. It was too funny.
    
    	Scott

    re .57:
    
    Wasn't this the week NBC and Eveready were running their "Guess which
    NBC show the rabbit will interrupt" contest?
    
    
    py

He's probably been just too exhausted up to this point.

Didn't he just get married or sumpin?

Mike JN

    ECASWS::CDSWAP is the node it's on,
    And Hawk, what's wrong with Rap
    I bet it's used in video's by /Don
    And better than heavy metal crap....
    
    Word....
    
    -Walt

    Walt,
    
    You might be in contention for the Official ::Sports Poet Lauriate
    (sp?)  with that one.....
    
    
    
    rolling,
    Kev
    

    Heavy Metal, Hard Rock
    That's where its at
    'Cause only Rap
    Rhymes with Crap

    chillin'

    
    	Wail, out here in Colorady we've got both kinds of music.......
    
    
    
    			COUNTRY AND WESTERN
    
        Claybroon ;^)

    Speakin of musicals:
    
    
    Wasn't there a movie about Coloradians(?) along the lines of
    "Dirty Dancing" called  "Dances with Buffalo-Butts"?
    
    Or was it about the droves of CU fans on Miami Beach with buffalo
    hats ala Fred Flintstone?
    
    
    MikeL
    

>>          -< I cain feel this beer on my haid on Patriots Day....... >-

You can count on it, buddy ;-).

The Colorado version was Dances with Prairie Dogs.

Who was it awhile back that said the origin of Rap was the callers at
square dances? I laughed so hard I almost peenched a loaf in ma jockeys.
I could just picture all the bros spittin orange soda all over their
terminals and yellin `SQUARE DANCIN'!?!?!??

Too Much
Mike JN

If you wanna get really technical, the components of rap are
nothing new.  You can go back to Gilbert and Sullivan patter songs
for example.

Was there a finer rap in it's day than Harold Hills "Ya Got Trouble"
from the Music Man?

Or how bout the scene on the train previous to that tune, in a 
"rap" called Rock Island Line":

	Whatta ya talk, whatta ya talk, whatta ya talk,
	Where do ya get it, whatta ya talk.

	Ever meet a fella by the name of Hill?
	Hill, Hill, Hill, Hill, Hill, Hill, Hill?
	
	NO.

	What's the fella' line?  Never worries bout his line.
	He sell Bands, boys bands, with the big brass bass, 
	big brass bass, and pants on the uniform with the big
	gold stripe runnng right on down...
	
	Whatta ya talk, whatta ya talk, whatta ya talk,

(It takes place between eight salesmen on a train...sorry it's sketchy
but I haven't been involved with that show in ages....)


So the musical techniques are not new -- just taken into an ethnic
idiom and reworked...that's quite common in all music in the world.

(And yes, square dance callin' comes from the same roots)....

later,
'Saw

    
    >Wasn't there a movie about Coloradians(?) along the lines of
                               ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^  
    
    I believe the correct term is "Coloradorks". 8^).
    
    HTH,
    Pete
    
    

    I thought the original rap was C.W. McCall...
    
    It was the dark of the MOON
    on the 6th of JUNE....
    (ok, I forget a couple likes... something with a Kenworth 
    and a jimmy hauling hogs...)
    
    We was headed for bear on I-1-0
    Bout a mile out of Shaky TOWN
    I said Big bear this is Rubber DUCK
    And I'm about to put the hammer, 
    h-h-h-hammer, 'bout to put the hammer DOWN!
    
    Band, Kick it..... and Turn this mutha out!!!!
    
    
    At least Aerosmith can go down in history for making Rap mainstream
    when they teamed up with Run DMC....
    
    I thought the correct term was Coloradobas.... (soft ,rich, CoRINthnian
    mountainsides...)
    
    -Walt

    Sorry, must all that listening to WFAN and hearing Clyde do the Knick
    games...
    
    Jackson was wheelin' and dealin' to finish that play to a shakin' and
    bakin' Wilkins...
    
    Oakley's really thumpin' and pumpin' tonight....

    Or maybe it's thoughts of the JD shuffle.... since JD's back...

Chris and Cheryl Knorr had a baby boy at 6:15 am today (1/17).  The baby's 
name is David Christopher Knorr.  He is 8 lbs 10 oz and is 20" long.  

-Andy

    Hey, now that's great.   A nice little bit of happy news in this
    difficult time.
    
    Congratulations, Chris and Cheryl.   Here's hoping David grows up big,
    strong, happy and smart.
    
    Bob Hunt

    
    Chris and Cheryl make a little Soup.
    
    You can't read the next part, Chris:
    
    CONGRATS!
    
    Dickstah
    

 David? not dean?  congrats Knorrs...

 mike

Congratulations, Chris.   Hope your wife and son are doing well.

Remember, ESPN usually repeats the ACC games at 3:30 in the morning.   

A wish for you:

	May your son one day develop the talent and character to play for
	Dean Smith.... and play significant minutes his freshman year. :-)

    Hey, Chris!  Is this your first born?  If so, now you have as many kids
    as Dean has championships...in about as many years too!  8-)
    
    Congrats in a big way there, buddy!  Hope he's a healthy little
    hoopster...or should that be Soupster?
    
    	--dan'l

I think this is Chris' second...so he's one up on Dean-o.....


CONGRATS, Chris.  Enjoy, and best wishes....

'Saw

    He does color.  Marv Albert or Jim Carvellas does play-by-play.
    I think he's on a pre-game show on MSG too...
    
    Next game is scheduled for Friday night at Miami.

Best wishes Soup!

Have you bought little David (I assume you'll call him `Dean' for short)
any sports equipment yet?

It's never too early.
And if you work at it, his very first word might be:




		s ..s..s..sn.....SNUFFY!!

Mike JN

    
    	Way to go Soup!  A boy eh? Good work...
    
    Congrat's
    
    B.A.

    Isn't it amazing that the most wonderful thinking device in the world,
    the human brain, and the greatest chemical plants in the world, the
    human body, are produced by unskilled labor?
    
    John

    Thanks a lot, 'Ninj!
    
    A&W
    

    Thank goodnes ACCrisp mustered the restraint to not name the poor
    little guy Dean.  Funny, after successfully parrying Chris' thrusts
    all these years I kinda assumed he be shooting blanks, so congrat's!
    
    On the names thing: There is a chilling tale about sports-celbrity
    naming of innocent children.  I'm not gonna name the person who went
    off the deep end and did this, but his initials are D.O.U.G. R.O.S.S.
    
    Big10 Tom

>    naming of innocent children.  I'm not gonna name the person who went
>    off the deep end and did this, but his initials are D.O.U.G. R.O.S.S.

MrT, if you EVER mention my son, Ickey Kareem, again, I will dot your eye!

    Re: unskilled labor
    
    My wife didn't think so ;-)

    Too funny Mike !

    Too funny Mike !
    
    But was that bue-collar or white-collar labor ?

    Doc, definitely white collar.  Nothing but the best for my Honey! ;-)

    Hmmmm - personally, for that particular position, I prefer no collar.
    
    :-)
    
    A&W

Fortunately for all of you, I can't remember (off the top of my haid)
the series of puns Shakespeare wrote about collar, choler etc etc etc...

(From Romeo and Juliet, I believe)

'Saw

    
    I like the collar.  And the leather leash.   And the chains and the
    ropes.......Oohhhh, it's getting warm in here.
    
    Dickstah
    

Too bad they put a wooden stake through her Heart Hawk. Or does that turn you
on even more? :-)

Not a bad show but you can tell that Ben Cross is the only non-soap actor on
it. ABC is trying to make their own Twin Peaks.


Metz

    Thanks for the kind words folks.  The birth process is truly a
    miraculous event, even paling our 8-points down with 17-seconds "W" 
    over Duke many years ago.  
    
    David is my 2nd child (Alyse is 3.5 years old) and is doing well, as is
    mom.  There's nothing like a woman in the midst of transition, and I
    thought my despair had hit rock bottom until the gyno finally arrives
    and, after brief conversation centering around the cancellation of
    the Carolina vs. State came, I discover he's a Duke main!  ARGH!!
    
    My son, delivered by a Dukie... ACK!!!
    
    Anyway as I mentioned above the birth process is a miraculous event,
    and when "David (ACC)Christopher Knorr" hit the scene it was so
    spectacular I even forgave the nerd and gave him a sporting handshake.
    
    
    - ACC Chris

ACC Chris, re the Duke Doc.....

When I was on the ambulance about 10 years ago, I had a lot of opportunity
to work with a Physicians Assistant who did his training at Duke.
He was one phenomenal medical guy...  The docs who come out of Duke
are superb, so I can tell you that your wife (and newborn on the way)
were in good hands...

Maybe Duke's a rival on the court, but in the delivery room, or the
rest of the hospital, you don't see too many Excellent Losses(tm)  

[many 8^)]
'Saw

PS  How do you like those 2am feedings????

    RE: -1
    
    Oh come on, this has gone too far. "MENCHONED" everybody knows
    it's "MENSHONED".
    
    Ted.

    Hey Chris...
    
    Thank your lucky stars the doc wasn't from Clemson!  The mind
    staggers at the thought of a Clemson doctor!
    
    BTW - A son, and you didn't name him Dean?!?  Shocked, shocked 
    I am!!!
    
    NAZZ

    
     Gee, I thought it was Menshunned. As in what happens everytime
    I go into a bar! I'll tell ya, I get no respect, gee. 8^)
    
    
    
    Rodney

    Congrats, Chris.  Enjoy him, kids grow so fast.
    
    Lat week, I was visiting my grandson, Andrew.  He's 13 months, and
    while I was there, he said his first real word.    Oh, he's said
    Dada, but it was more of making a sound rather than for his Dad.
    
    His first word was,  Football!  What a kid!  Sure, it sounded more like
    foobaw, but whe he was asked where it was, he went and got it and then
    said "foobaw".  Close enough for me!
    
      lEe

    re: first words
    
    My daughter is 13 months old and is just begining to saw some real
    words (like bath, duck, etc) but last night while watching the football
    games, I almost split a gut when - after another Bills TD - I yelled
    "Touchdown" and gave the universal umpires signal for a score...
    
    ...from the other side of the room, my daughter let out a shriek and
    when I turned to look at her she yelled, "Touchdown" and put both hands
    up above her head.   The expression on my face must have been inspiring
    because she proceeded to run around the house with her arms in the air
    yelling "Touchdown....Touchdown....Touchdown"!!!!
    
    PJ

>                          -< Kids are priceless.... >-
    
    wait until they're a little older (as in a few years).  Then they laugh
    at you and think you've lost it ;-)
    
    Mike

Hawk --

They could have come down and spent the day with Uncle Chainsaw.

What a day we could have had.  I'd have had them doing backups, and
engineering software, and we could have gone out to Friendly's for
ice cream at lunch...

And I wouldn't have charged you a penny....8^)

'Saw

Gee, Hawk, I don't know if you'd be up for that....

I mean, when they get back, your son would  be taping his ears, talking
about rucking, and chewing tobacco.  He'd be doing hexadecimal arithmetic
in his haid, and drinking near-beer.

Your daughter would be driving, and she'd probably have dated the
nice young farm boy next door (he's 11)...  I mean, I'd have to make
sure she had my pickup truck home by midnight or 1am though.
She'd make the world's best martini, and be great at learning how
to call up a guy to have him over for Harvey's Bristol Creme....

And she'd probably be a member of the Hebron Polar Bear Club, practicing
swimming in the pond next door....

If you're up for that....;^)

'Saw

    I'll send my 4 too!

    Yo 'Saw, cain I send my kid, she's 5 so I figger if'n she cain drive a
    truck I won't have to get her from daycare and she cain meet me at the
    Dub for a pizza and a brew. (U gotta teach her how to drink though cuz
    the hardest stuff she's had wuz coke.)

>    Yo 'Saw, cain I send my kid, she's 5 so I figger if'n she cain drive a
>    truck I won't have to get her from daycare and she cain meet me at the
>    Dub for a pizza and a brew. (U gotta teach her how to drink though cuz
>    the hardest stuff she's had wuz coke.)


Hey, if she's five, no sweat.  I've got a 6 year old about a quarter
mile down the road I can hook her up with.

As to the drinking, she cain start with a little Jack Daniels in her
coke.  Gradually we'll have her onto Jack straight up.

Want her to chew tobaccy too?

'Saw, the DAY CARE Specialist!

    No tobaccy. I don't want the rug stained. You can teach her to belch
    'tho.

Chainsaw's Toofless Mountain Man Day Care Center

We'll lairn your younguns every thang they need ta know...


Sign up now!

                ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
	
 Am I the only one who thinks the above song is bitchin cool???

    Uh, what song is it?
    
    Eric Johnson was on the Tonight Show last night doing Cliffs
    of Dover...  now THAT's wicked bitchin' cool...

>> Me?  I'm just plain Class....
                           
    
    'saw,
    
    I assume the four dots above stand for  "L E S S"
    
    Am I right??
    PJ 
    	      ;-)  ;-) 

    Hey Hawk Dees,
    
    Satriani can crank, but it's strictly for car stereo or background
    music, IMHO... Put on "Cliffs of Dover" at a party or have a band
    cover it at a bar and see the people dance around...  Maybe more 
    pop, but so?

 Living Colour does the song I'm talking about...

 it a love song/no love song... 

 lyrics i like best

  " check this out...

	I'm standing at the alter in black tux and tie
	and she's standin there looking finer than ever

	when I wake up from that nightmare in a pooool of sweat"

  " on no not that again, when love rears up it's ugly head "

 mike

    Dees,Dees,  You mean Rick Dees,the sophomoric lizard that does
    late night TV?
    
    Someone told me that this is the same twit who did that "legend"
    Disco Duck in the 70's. Is that true?
    
    
    MikeL
     

    
    Yepper..  Rick Dees did the disco duck..  Also did a long stint as the 
    host of SOLID GOLD..  featuring those Solid gold dancers and a whole
    bunch of top 40-ers doing not so wonderful lip-sink[sic]ing. 
    
    
    /Jeff

>    'saw,
>    
>    I assume the four dots above stand for  "L E S S"

Nope...it's shorthand for ad infinitum....

8^) 8^) 8^)

>    Satriani can crank, but it's strictly for car stereo or background
>    music, IMHO... Put on "Cliffs of Dover" at a party or have a band
>    cover it at a bar and see the people dance around...  Maybe more 
>    pop, but so?
    
    Satch and Eric Johnson both have danceable tunes as well as
    "background" tunes.  Satch's "Strange" from the album "Flying in a 
    Blue Dream" comes to mind.  EJ also does some great Jimi type stuff
    that would be impossible to dance to.
    
    I saw them both together live.  Talk about a monster guitar show!
    
    Mike

    Discussion of the decision to shut down the middle east topic have been
    moved to 54 - the Conference Policy & Announcement Discussion topic.

    I ain't never heard of any of them songs you guys been talkin'
    about.
    
    NAZZ

    Well Nazz, call us even because I thought Shangrila was a place ;-)

    This ain't no Shangrala... - D. Henley
    

    Hey Dickster,
    
    Couldn't have those water mains break, eh??  Cleveland depends on those
    flushes for supplying drinking water!!!(8^0*
    
    
    JaKe
    

>>  Just in time for a liquid lunch,     she says...
    
    Hawk, your one lucky guy :-), now stop bragging

Chuck

Hey, Hawk...

If Doug Ross won't complain, maybe I can start a write-in campaign...
It worked for Matt Sewell 8^)

On a more SERIOUS note, if there's anything I can do, don't hesitate
to let me know...  

And hey, look on the bright side... at least they're not sending
her to Saudi Arabia 8^)

yur buddy,
'Saw

           <<< Note 73.136 by WORDY::NAZZARO "We don't rent pigs" >>>

Hey NAZZ!

Looks like you're watching `Lonesome Dove'. I started watching almost by
accident. I was watching CNN Sunday, and they started one of those
`human (gag) interest' stories about some serviceman's relatives. So I
switched channels and LD was just starting. 

I was totally ass-honking-stounded! I hardly ever watch anything but
sports on TV. This was on once before and I never even thought about
watching it. Now I'm hooked. I watched the second installment Tuesday
and the third last night (ah cain't abide rudeness in a man). The last
episode is tonight, but if it was on opposite the Superbowl, the Giants
and Bills could blow smoke... I'd be watching LD.

I can't believe this is on network television. There is some fairly
violent shit going down.  I don't know if it was that, or the war, or a
combination, or what, but I dreamed I was a sniper again, only in Iraq
instead of Viet Nam... berry, berry strange.

Mike JN

    Giants go to Super Bowl, Dinz comes out of hiding (well, sort of). 
    Coincidence?

    Hawk - best of luck with your wife being outta work soon, but
    look on the bright side - mebbe y'all will start gettin' some
    homecooked meals!  And as long as she's gonna be home, the
    driveway needs repavin', and there are them loose shingles on
    the roof.  I'm sure you cain think up lotsa different ways to
    keep her busy!  ;-)
    
    Yeah Mike, I'm a Lonesome Dove fan.  Watched it the first time it was
    on a couple years ago, and was blown away.  Now I'm trying to fit its
    eight hours on a six hour tape.  Taking out all the commercials should
    allow me to make it.
    
    NAZZ

    
    > Good college games and bad announcing made my decision easy (except for
    > the premeir of 'Seinfeld', which I thought was hilarious).
    
    No premier, Dan.  'Seinfeld' ran for a while last year before being
    cancelled, and I thought it was pretty funny then, too.  Didn't catch 
    it last night, though; got stuck watching 'Lonesome Dove' re-runs 
    again.  (Speaking of excellently funny shows that don't last, anyone 
    know what happened to 'Anything but Love' with J.L. Curtis?  Is that 
    gone for good?)
    
    Oh, yeah, and about the Celtics telecasts.  Haven't seen one yet this
    year.  Sorry... ;-)
    
    glenn
    

Hawk --

Under the circumstances you might consider sending her to a corporate
headhunter.  Twelve years of experience, even sans college degree, is
worth something in the job hunt...

If that doesn't pan out, teach her how to brew beer.  Home brews far
surpass all but a few commercial brews, you can make them like YOU
like them, and while you won't save a TON of money homebrewing,
considering the quality of the brew you get, you're kind of saving
on the deal.

Finally, I had this wonderful idea the other night when I was out
with Dan.  I'm gonna open a Normal Guys Strip bar.  All kinds of middle
aged guys and stuff can dance and strip for women.  Its comedic value
along should be worth millions.  I'll gladly offer you a part time
job ;^)

'Saw

    Hey 'Saw,
    	What does Hawk got that would make wimmin faint( or is feint more
    appropos),a speedo special?
    
    To quote Robert Shaw's immortal woids "Here's to swimmin' wif bowl-
    legged wimmin!"
    
    MikeL
    
    
    

Nah...

The whole concept of my Normal Guys Strip Bar is not to make women
faint, but to make them really laugh.

You take a whole bunch of normal guys (like me, Hawk, Jake, Dinz, etc)
and you get them to strip for women.  You make them LAUGH, because
you do all the same stuff those Chippendale pansies do, but on a
normal guy like me it looks really funny, right?  

So you get them wimmins laughing and putting dollar bills into
your jock strap...

On the other hand, there's a lot you can do with "it" too, like in
the SNL skit based on the nude male models (Corben Berson episode),
where they say it's important to "make it nice, for the people"....

Just a wacky, beer induced idea that would either break me, or make
me a millionaire....

'Saw

>Just a wacky, beer induced idea that would either break me, or make
>me a millionaire....

I must have a hundred or so of these lying around in my brain. Unfortunately it
takes money to make money....

A couple of my doozies....


Digitally controlled shower temperature...I hate it when somebody flushes the
toilet and you get scalding hot or freezing cold water. Put in a digital 
feedback loop and you solve this problem...

Buying a deserted mall near a college. They had a great one near UMass. Put in
a different bar where each shop used to be. All sorts of different music, drinks
,etc in each one. Take car keys upon entering and make people pass a breathalizer
before leaving. take a section and turn it into a bunkhouse for drunkards to
crash free of cost, have a hotel onsite for those instant romances, charge 
huge amounts of $$$$ for OJ in the morning for those hungover souls...

I coulda made millions.....


Metz

    
    re: last 2
    
    Don't give up the day job, guys. 8^)
    
    Now Quohog ice cream... there's a concept.
    
    Dickstah
    

    HHHmmmmm .....
    
    I think I'd pay money to watch Hawk and 'Saw do their thang.  'Twould
    be an experience, it 'twould.
    
    I'd even rub Hawk's haid iffen he wanted me to.

    A&W

    
    
    
    >    After I strip, can the wimmins rub my [CENSORED]
    
    Sorry, but since I do not have moderator privs to "set hidden", I have
    nevertheless taken it upon myself to preserve the morals of our
    readership.
    
    WHERE *IS* THAT CHURCH LADY???
    
    DICKSTAH
    
    

    'Saw,
    
    You'll have to hire --dan'l Medvid as your choreographer.   The man can
    flat out dance.   And even with his belt looped around his neck and
    with him playing Trigger to her Roy Rogers.
    
    Bob Hunt

    
    >    I'd even rub Hawk's [CENSORED] iffen he wanted me to.
    
    
    Sheesh.... Ya gotta be on your toes around here.
    
    Dickstah
    

Damn....

and I coulda been on the leading edge of technology....

One account like the Marriot with my digital shower and I woulda been set
for life....

Oh well...

 Back to work,

   Metz

Sure, Dan'l can choreograph.

Hawk and I probably coulnd't do the dances, but what the hell,
we'd bill him as the choreographer...

And anyone could rub anyone's haid iffen they wanted.  It'd be
a really cool place, where the wimmins would be laffin so hard
we'd really clean up on tips and drinks...

Dickstah, i want you to be in the stable too...you can wear a
3 Stooges G-string 8^) 8^) 8^)


'Saw_the_StripMaster

>    <<< Note 73.155 by CAM::WAY "Who more than self, their country loved" >>>
    
>You take a whole bunch of normal guys (like me, Hawk, Jake, Dinz, etc)
>and you get them to strip for women.  You make them LAUGH, because
>you do all the same stuff those Chippendale pansies do, but on a
>normal guy like me it looks really funny, right?  

>So you get them wimmins laughing and putting dollar bills into
>your jock strap...
    
    Thanks 'Saw, that's the first time I've been referred to as "NORMAL" in
    quite a few years.
    
    They'd have to hand me the $$$$, there's no room in my jock for any
    money to co-exist, if ya know what I mean!!!(8^)*
    
    JaKe
    

    OK, as your choreographer I suggest you all practice up on the
    hokey-pokey...especially the parts about sticking things in and out and
    shaking them all about.  Watch, don't knock anybody over.
    
    	--dan'l
    
    PS: sorry for not getting back to ya'll sooner on this.   I'm sure you
    were all worried about what we would be doing as our socio-erotica. 
    The Charlotte office was closed yesterday due to snow...not that any
    was sticking on the ground, however.

Jake, you might have to register that "thang" as a dangerous weapon,
and check it at the door....

The Hokey Pokey, I love it...

I'm tellin' ya, we'll have them wimmins spellbound, gents, truly spellbound...


'Saw

    In some corners,
    
    Rug Rat=Bawlin' Brat
    

    Solo Flight, eh?
    
    Remember Woody allen's fav line from "Love and Death?'
    When complemented by the Russian duchess following a bout of
    amour, Woodanov explained " Thank you,madam,I practice a lot
    by myself!"
    

    
    Just remember the practice of selective targeting when dropping the
    Onanian Ordinance, lest you hurt an innocent bystander; or worse,
    you'll shoot yer eye out.
    
    Dickstah
    

    Thanks Jeff, coming from you I can't tell you what that means to me.
    
    REK
    
    Bumper Snicker seen this morning on a car turning into Fort Devens...
    
    
    SMAQ IRAQ
    
    

    Woody Allen had another line about "flying solo" in another of his
    movies, Annie Hall, I think ...
    
    	"Don't knock it.  At least, it's sex with someone I love."
    
    Bob Hunt

I'm crackin up... this MUST be Friday!!

Mike JN

    And let's not forget Woodie's line from "Everything You ALways Wanted
    to Know About Sex..." when he was playing a nervous sperm:
    
    "WHat if he's masturbating?  I could wind up on the ceiling!"
    
    Dan
    

    
    'Saw,
    	Mebbe you could stage a wrasslin' show along with your striplaugh
    and call it S.N.O.W. ( Sports Noters Of Wrasslin ). You could reuse
    the same outfits. All you need is a wrasslin' choreographer. Is Bobby
    the Brain Heenan (who once said the wrasslin fans should not be
    allowed to reproduce) available?
    
    Speakin of that show G.L.O.W, is that still around? I got a good
    chuckle from watching those ladies prance around. The best kick was
    observing the leerin',droolin' peakin where they shouldn't a been a
    peakin' riff raff in the audience. Anyone remember some of the monikers
    these ladies(??) used? And what (or who) they are doing now?
    
    

    <<< Note 21.26 by AGNT99::CHILDS "When love rears up it's ugly haid" >>>
                                      ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

geez, Mike, sounds like you're right in step with this discussion!

Probabaly should move it all over to junk notes....

fw

>    'Saw,
>    	Mebbe you could stage a wrasslin' show along with your striplaugh
>    and call it S.N.O.W. ( Sports Noters Of Wrasslin ). You could reuse
>    the same outfits. All you need is a wrasslin' choreographer. Is Bobby
>    the Brain Heenan (who once said the wrasslin fans should not be
>    allowed to reproduce) available?
    

Well, actually, we could allow the various wimmins in the audience, 
for a $50 fee, to engage in some {mud,jello,mazola,spaghetti,}
wrasslin, with various performers.  

I'll be if I did that, I'd have SPORTS noters breaking down the
door to my office to sign up....

"And in this corner, weighin' in at 185 pounds, in his jockstrap,
the Hawkster....He'll be facing, in the jello pit...BIG BERTHA!"

Oh, too funny!

'Saw

Oh, I cain see it now....

We'll take out a loan and hire up Roseanne to wrassle you for the
Grand Opening of Chainsaw's Normal Guys Strip Bar...

Oh, man, my thighs are just shudderin' at the sound of that cash
register ringing!  We'll be rollin' in dough.  

First, we'll start out with the guys (me included) strippin', doin'
them bumps and grinds and hip thrusts, and those butt tightening moves,
then it'll be off to the wrasslin' pit, to see the Hawkster and
Roseanne go at it....

THEN, it'll be back to the strippin', while Hawkster and Roseanne shower
up.

Now, after about a year, when we got boocoo cash coming in, then we'll
being shilling for Jello, Mazola, and Ben and Jerrys (where else would
we get the Mississippi Mud from)....

Then, when we got all that (shudder, shudder) money comin' in, we'll
hire more "normal" guys.....

Oh, I love it.....

'Saw

    Re "Flying Solo"
    
    I never realized that "Flying Solo" was the subject of Jackson Browne's
    "Rosie" until my brother-in-law pointed it out to me.
    
    
    JaKe
    

Onan, don't make it bad, take a sad schlong, and make it better....
Remember, to get it through thick and thin, then you begin to make it better.

Onan, don't be afraid, hair won't grow there, you know they're lyin'...
And blindness is just another myth, you know truth, and you go on sighin'

La la la la la la la la la (UGH!)

    My Mom used to tell me that doing "it" would make me go blind.  When
    that doctor told me I needed glasses, I gave it up right then and
    there.
    
    BTW, 'Saw, there was a guy in my high school, I think he was Russian,
    his name was IvBin Wakenoff, who was shaving his palms at 13!!!!
    
    I guess hair will grow "there".
    
    JaKe
    

    Re: last two
    
    speaking of which, Isiah Thomas has been placed on IR.  He has to have
    wrist surgery because he only has 30% movement in his wrist.  Rumor has
    it that he's going blind too ;-)

    Mike:
    
    I'd think that his wrist would be pretty strong with excellent mobility
    if he's going blind.
    
    
    JaKe
    

    
    Since the Boston Celtics - Minnesota Slumberloafs didn't look so hot
    last night, I switched to one of 'Merica's newest budding institutions,
    the 'Merican Music Awards.  What "music" has to do with most of it I'll
    never know, but I watched it because the "New Kids" were on it direct
    from their appearance at the superbowl, and I wanted to hear their
    astute and objective observations of the game.  Also another one of my
    favorite smiling sportsters was in the audience, Magic What's-his-name.
    
    I think maybe, just perhaps, M.C. Hammer might have won a few awards.
    This guy has taken aerobics to amazing heights.  Does he do this for
    two hours in his live appearances?  He was class all the way.  Very
    grateful and gracious and made sure to recognize the troops abroad.
    
    I'd never seen Mariah Carey before.  Great voice, and looks good too.
    Almost made me forget Paula Abdul, who is just a bit above Janet
    Jackson, although Janet is closing in fast through weight-loss and
    selective surgery.  Ever notice how JJ looks different, and somehow
    progressively better looking in each of her successive video's?
    
    This Vanilla Ice guy ain't gonna last.  I thought he looked foolish,
    and he's been rapin (I meant rappin', but I'll let the typo stand) the
    same Queen ripoff for almost a year now.  "Raised in the streets" he
    says.  Yeah, sure.  If you call the strolling lanes of a prep school
    "the streets."  You could see the outline of his letter sweater under
    his clothes, and I saw him mouth "Hi Babs" to some girl in the audience
    who was wearing a poodle skirt and had a class ring around her neck.
    
    Worst of the worst:  The Nuke Kids.  I guess they're trying to harden
    their image a little, with Salvation Army reject clothing, and one
    wearing a tee emblazoned with WAR SUCKS.  Nothing wrong with freedom of
    speech in my book, but these guys seemed intent on insulting the
    audience, their critics, other groups, and in general, the business and
    promotional machinery that made them what they are today.  They lived
    up to their name, and acted every bit the part of just kids.
    
    No lip synching at all this year that I could tell.  Looks like the
    industry wants to put that incident in the past.
    
    Rap is at it's peak, and should go the way of the John Travolta
    Disco/Ice Cream Man Suit within two years.  All the productions seem to
    be based on the same M.C. Hammer costumes and dances, with little
    support from music or lyrics. Bill, Bev, Tony Tone Loc all started to
    look alike before the show ended.  The music business will once again
    revert to its common denominator which is (surprise!) music!
    
    My personal thoughts are that all the good songs have already been
    written.
    
    Dickstah
    

Just to give Vanilla Ice a little credit, his microphone did not work at 
the start when he was performing, so he quickly ran back to the DJ and took
his... Without the backup rapping, the song lost quite a bit... He did the
same bit on Saturday Night Live a couple weeks ago and was much better.
My 2 year old son loves him, for whatever that's worth.

His songs are basically all ripoffs.... from Queen/Bowie, from the Beastie
Boys, from Tone Loc, etc.    But he can dance... and he's got the star act
down cold.   And he's a marketing wonder.   When "Ice,Ice,Baby" started to
take off, they pulled the single out of the stores thus forcing kids to buy
the album to get it.   4 million people decided it was worth it.

There was plenty of booing going on last night.  New Kids got it bad during
the Keenan Ivory Wayans opening.   Donny Osmond and Tiffany looked like they
were headed for the gas chamber when they heard the response and had to
continue walking out to present an award.

Alabama won an award, again... but now they just send one guy to thank 
"all the fans for this special award" and then toss it in the trashcan with
the seven million others.

Oh yeah, Illinois beat Iowa last night in the Big 10.  :-)

Gonna get me a Posse.  I need a bunch of hangers-on following me
around.  When they give me the Software Engineer of the Year Award,
I'll jus' get up there and thank my posse...

Proper!

'Saw

    As most of you know, I'm about as liberal as they come and constantly
    try to support minority rights and other causes, but I really felt
    Wayan's jokes were in poor taste and were basically racist.  If a white
    host would say some of those things about black people, he'd lose his
    contract with whomever and have to make a public apology.  Then again,
    perhaps this still might be in store for Keenan.
    
    	--dan'l

    Did anybody notice that when Vanilla Crap won his first award and was
    thanking everyone he was cut off, and Wayans came on muttering
    something about "word to your mother" ?  Anybody have the scoop on what
    he said ?
    
    Many thanks,
    
    John "D Cowboys" R.

    Yeah, what WAS it that Wayans said?  I generally think "In Living Color"  
    is  a funny show, but they do tend to go on about stereotypes (racial,
    ethnic, sexual-preference, etc.) as a core element of their humor. So
    it's OK for blacks to make fun of blacks, but not OK for whites (and
    others) to do the same, eh?
    
    Tom

 Hawk, it's his show. check the credits, producer, director etc...he wears
 all the hats. Personally I could give a sh*t who's making fun of who if it's
 funny it's funny if it ain't it ain't.....and Living Color is funny!!!!

 I miss Antiwone....

 mike

    RE: .201
    
    Apparently, Vanilla Ice, class act that he is, dropped his drawers. 
    Word this!
    
    There were some peculiar edits all night.  Motly Crue got bleeped and
    there was some big gap right at the end when everyone expected Hammer
    to pick up his 8th award and suddenly there's this really bad edit of
    the crowd, and then back to the podium where they kind of say 'phil
    collins, good night."
    
    So much for live TV.
    
    BTW, I wasn't trying to stir up any racial trouble in here.  It's just
    that my usually liberal and tolerent sense of humor wasn't finding much
    funny in what Wayans was cracking.  Put downs work on ILC, but for an
    awards show it seemed really awkward and he wasn't getting many laughs.
    
    	--dan'l

 >  BTW, I wasn't trying to stir up any racial trouble in here.  It's just
 >   that my usually liberal and tolerent sense of humor wasn't finding much
 >   funny in what Wayans was cracking.  Put downs work on ILC, but for an
 >   awards show it seemed really awkward and he wasn't getting many laughs.
 

I've only watched ILC a few times to see what all the hoopla was about. If a
group of mostly white preformers tried to do the skits that ILC does there'd
be a huge campaign to get the show off the air. We're talking about a serious
double standard here.

I have a liberal sense of humor but don't find ILC funny at all with their jokes
that totally rely on stereotypical humor.


Metz

Oh yeah...Do people actually watch these "award" shows? Every time I see 
another awards show come on my fingers fly to the remote. If I can't find
anything good on (take sunday night for example) the TV goes off and I read.

Metz

>>                -< reading becoming a lost art in America.... >-

Could you repeat that?  As your note was coming up, DECtalk garbled it and I
couldn't make out what you were trying to say.

#.

    I'm not offended by In Living Color, but after seeing it a few times 
    I agree with Hawk that it just isn't that funny.  Then again, I 
    thought the same after watching Married With Children after all the
    hoopla around it.  Thought that Tracy Ullman was the best Fox had to
    offer, and where did that end up?  Shock value wins out over quality 
    comedy, I guess...
    
    glenn
    

    I think ILC is like SNL and other shows like it.  Some skits
    are funny, some aren't.  Some characters are funny and cause
    more trouble than others.  And humor is different for different
    people.  I find some skits funny, and some stupid.  Double
    standard?  Maybe...
    
    I flipped between AWA, the UConn-Syracuse games and SCTV because
    they had the episode on with "Identical Cheese Hostesses" and
    "Identical OPEC Oil Ministers".  I thought Gloria Estefan's song
    was the highlight of what I saw.  Can she really walk now?
    
    I noticed some of the real rough editing and wondered when it was
    taped and why.
    
    I think rap is going to be around longer than some people think.
    But only the good ones will survive.  The ones out for shock
    like 2 Live Crew will fall to the wayside.  Vanilla Ice has too
    much of an ego for me...
    
    -Walt

    Hawk,
    	After thinking about some of the stuff I wrote about Lesley,
    I want to clarify something to prevent mis-interpretation.
    Five weeks is a VERY short semester, basically you're cramming all
    the time.  A major component of the PMBI program is "self-directed"
    learning, i.e. you get out of it what you put into it.  Additionally,
    the study group concept helps in may ways.  Obviously, the
    brainstorming approach to problem solving helps but there's also
    the subtle pressure to complete assignments and not let those who
    are depending on you down.
    	I checked the original class list against those who finished
    and we had more than 50% of the class drop out.  This is not a cakewalk
    diploma mill!!!!
    	Many sacrifices, by me and my family were required but thankfully,
    the whole thing is over in 1 year!  That's why I did it.  One Year
    of dedication, not 4, 5, or 6 years. (actually, 57 weeks but why
    nit-pick)
    
    Kev
    

    Hawk,
    
    Stick with it if you possibly can -- you'll be glad you did later on.
    
    The Lesley program sounds like a good approach. I like the idea of a
    degree program that is fairly close to the "real world", meaning there
    is a team approach and the peer pressure not to let your "teammates"
    down.  I get annoyed at the "academic attitude" that doesn't take too
    much consideration for things learned outside of the classroom. If you
    have been working for several years, you have picked up skills that
    will help you in WHATEVER it is that you might do later on. I had a
    prof comment on how she liked a paper I wrote about the Chinese
    economic system, and she was surprised at how well I write. Geez, I've
    only been a writer professionally for about 9 years, so I did learn a
    thing or two that can be applied to "academic" papers. (This prof was 
    appearing on TV regularly as a "Chinese Expert" when the Tinamen Square 
    crackdown was occuring.)  
    
    I also prefer the short semester. I've been going to Northeastern for a 
    Masters (that's why you never see me comment in the College Hockey topic 
    :-) ), and it's slowly getting there. I'm still not quite halfway there, 
    but eventually..... 
    
    I guess the way you look at it has to be not with this job in mind, but
    the job after your next job. Sometimes it can be hard to keep such a
    long-range plan in focus, but at least you can get satisfaction by
    chiping away gradually at a goal.
    
    Good Luck!
    
    Tom

    re .202
    
    I would tend to think that it is basic courtesy (not mention human
    nature) for one to use self-deprecating humor, but it is not okay for
    another person. What is so wrong with that ?
    
    You might be bald (for example) - it certainly permissable for you to crack
    jokes about it. That does NOT give me liberty to do that same however.
    
    Furthermore, 'black' jokes about ourselves tend not to carry the
    malicious intent that I've seen used on use by Anglos.
    
    DrM

 I'm glad you can laugh at your self, 'Saw.   That is a most endearing
 quality.
 
 And I thought you might like to know that the next version of VAX Notes
 will have a new command qualifier, especially for you ...
 
 	Notes> SET NOTE /[NO]RUGBY
 
 Which we intend to use whenever possible in *THIS* conference :-) :-)
 
 Bob Hunt

> And I thought you might like to know that the next version of VAX Notes
> will have a new command qualifier, especially for you ...
> 
> 	Notes> SET NOTE /[NO]RUGBY
> 
> Which we intend to use whenever possible in *THIS* conference :-) :-)
 
I'm rollward Bob....seriously, riproaring, I need some Depends fast,
chucaliciously rolling.

I know I use rugby analogies a lot.  There's a reason for that that no
one who has never played the sport could ever fathom.  Probably the
simplest way to explain it is on a t-shirt I recently acquired:

		Rugby - A Way of Life


At any rate, I'm taking a_Ultrix course this week, and as a project, I'll
write you a lex and yacc based filter to implement your 
SET NOTE/NORUGBY 


8^)
'SAw

    Well, I didn't intend to chasitse ILC for a double standard, but they
    are using stereotypes, etc. in a lot of their skits. 
    
    For example, Antione and _______, (ferget his name) in "Men on Films" 
    uses predictable gay-baiting stereotypes that I would think gay people 
    would fiind very offensive.(Is this much different than Amos & Andy?)
    the thing is, this could be very funny if they didn't sieze every
    obvious potential cheep laff, like while visiting Europe, they kept
    going back to Greece 4 times, and remarked about "how big Big Ben
    really is"
            
    "Hey Mon" is not biting, but a good-natured ribbing at Jamaicans. The
    nature of the economy in Jamaica and other Caribbean islands is such 
    that a lot of people might do several odd jobs and find work whenever 
    they can to make out a living, instead of having one full-time job. I
    don't know how Jamaicans view this skit, but I know there is recognised
    tensions between West Indian blacks and US-born blacks in many cities.
    It seems to me this isn't much different than a (primarily) white
    comedy crew making fun of a particular white ethnic group. That's what
    I meant by the "double-standard" question, but if Jamaicans don't mind,
    why should anyone else?
    
    The "Home-Boy Shopping Network" does give a negative stereotype to
    urban blacks. Again, there is no way a white comedy group could get
    away with this.  On the positive side, "Homey the Clown" as Santa was
    berating a kid who was doing something as part of a gang initiation. He
    went on to smack the kid around and tell him how stupid he was for
    wanting to join a gang. 
    
    BTW, I also get a kick out of how they portray whites in some skits as
    uptight, rather unwise, and sometimes clueless people. The only skits I
    really dislike are the Female body-builder and the classroom with the
    dorky kids.
    
    Tom

    
    re: .27     That's EARVIN to you, bucko !
    
    - The Doctor

re Bob --


Guilty, I guess.  I just draw on all the experiences of my life, the
people I've known, and things I do.   Those which affect me the most
are drawn upon the heaviest...

Anyway, then there was the time the guy from HWRFC.... 8^)

Ultrix is GREAT....

'Saw

>    For example, Antione and _______, (ferget his name) in "Men on Films" 
>    uses predictable gay-baiting stereotypes that I would think gay people 
>    would fiind very offensive.(Is this much different than Amos & Andy?)
    
    My gay friends find Antione and ?Blain? hysterical.  
    
    Hey, just goes to show, if you can't laugh at yourself, who can you
    laugh at?
    
    Stereotypes are all fact based.  It is when these facts are used as
    stereotypical weapons that things get hairy.
    
    DM, I'm not sure I get your point.  What I'm hearing you say is that
    because whites made stereotypical comedy for all those years, it's OK
    now to turn the tables.  I hope I misinterpreted what you wrote because
    two wrongs, especially in this case, do not make a right.
    
    	--dan'l

    re *
    
    My Caribbean friends think that "Hey Mon" is too funny, mostly because
    it reminds them of their parents (who often felt that if they wern't
    hustling for cash 18 hours a day, that they had too much free time
    :-)....... 
    
    As for "Men on ....", it is a pretty close call. The few gay people a
    know usually find it extremely funny. (I knew a gay noter who could
    even laugh at Eddie Murphy's gay-shots, for the most part.)
    
    re Dan'l (?)
    
    NO, I think you misread what I said. Essentially it comes down to this:
    
    The humor on ILC, for the most part, does not reinforce negative
    stereotypes or has a malicious edge to it. When I look at past
    portrayals of blacks in film and comedy, I often see the worst elements
    of a stereotype (watermelon, "bug-eyes", tortured dialect) being
    exploited. I don't see that by and large on ILC. 
    
    Of course, some of humor can be seen as being 'double standard',
    because ILC's biggest strength is that it's humor does not make
    cultural concessions to whites (for once). Often to get the punch line,
    or to appreicate a skit to the max, you have to make an attempt to
    understand black culture. I wish I had a dime for every time a white
    person would ask me to explain something from a skit .... :-)
    
    So in that regard, I think that ILC serves a useful purpose.
    
    JMO.

    re .28
    
    Sorry dude, but you'll have to do something about your monicker.
    
    I have the official copyright.
    
    The (One, Only, and True) Doctor

    And did anyone see the "Handicapped Man" skit?  My sides still hurt
    from that one.
    
    And while we're speaking of FOX, tonight Marge and Homer review their
    dating days.  Should be a classic.  They played a line on the radio
    promo this morning that better judgement keeps me from putting it in
    here.  
    
    	--dan'l

 yeah the proms showed Homer with hair should be a gas and bring a tear to
 a few eyes in here...

;^)

mike

    
    re:   .29
    
    Is it registered in note 2.*, or is this a lifetime achievement handle ?
    Even Hawk and 'Saw are delineated in this newest incarnation of SPORTS ...
    
    Is is Doc, Dock, Dr. Midnight, or what ? I'm not confused.
    
    - The Doctor (TM) (no abbreviations, ever !) is in, Brooksie ! (:^))
    
    
    Believe It ....
    
    - TD (TM)

    Brooksie - Now THERE's a nice name!  :*)
    
    lEe

    Makes me want to put up shields...

    Heck, it couldn't have been that long ago, Hawk, I still got all my
    hair!  :*)
    
    Lee

    I'll wait for the parsnip conference.  I bet that's lEe's all time
    favorite vegitable.
    
    	--dan'l

 Hope beat you to it...

    Christopher Atkins beat him...

 and all this time I thought she just went swimmin in Chris's favorite pond...

       <<< Note 24.31 by SHALOT::MEDVID "When two tribes go to war..." >>>
                                         ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Personally, I like 
	
		Relax, don't do it, when ya wanna go to it,
		Relax, don't do it, when ya wanna come...


As to SQUASH, well, I prefer summer or butternut, but zucchini is cool
also, as is spaghetti squash.....

Gastronomically yours,
'Saw

    re .233
    
    Yeah Hawk, but what color is your hair ? :-)

Hey, Sy Spermling(tm) is not only the Hair Club for Dweebs President,
he's a client!

    re .31
    
    lEe always struck me as a prune man ....

    
    Re: Prayer circle.
    
    I think prayer square sounds better.  And if both teams do it, do they
    cancel each other out?  And does [insert deity] then go with a coin
    toss to decide the winner, or does he take regular season prayers into
    account?  Is it a matter of sincerity, like the great pumpkin visiting
    Linus' pumpkin patch?
    
    Dickstah
    

    
    >    It's decided by who cain say the mosted Hail Mary's, Dickstah...
    
    "HailMaryHailMaryHailMary...Aw, t'heck with it...I'll just throw the
    football as far as I can...."
    
    Dickstah
    

    ...but God isn't Catholic (or any other denomination).

    .32  gee, I would have thought the Dickster police would have been
    after that one.
    
    
    I liked Born to Run off that album, but I'd have to go with Relax
    too..

    Yeah, well I find ILC to be too cool, sort of like a scrum, and BLaine
    and Antoine are funny, even to gay folks and the American Eagles Rugby
    Club.  the Hey Mon skits remind of when I did the books for a Boston
    Company (while I was in school) that ran a bunch of parking garages -
    lots of carribean folks, who just hustled and hustled and hustled, just
    like someone with electrical tape on their ears would.  My bald friends
    find the HWFRC to be too funny, but the ball is shaped funny
    just like sy sperling.  The best rugby player was Reggie Rucker.  HIs
    butt cheeks were tighter than Vanilla Ice's and MC Hammer reminds me of
    the wing on the All Blacks.  Rap n' Rugby is where it is at!!
    
    JD Hammer

    Slasher,
       Everyone copied the idea of dumping Gatorade on the coach, so
    they'll probably copy the prayer circle.
    
    Dickstah,
        Does your "prayer square" combined with the prayer circle
    make it a squared circle, thus giving it the credibility of 
    the WWF?
        Also, prayers said during the regular season do count, but
    more important is strength of schedule (which explains ND's
    success).
    
    The Shell Sperling Answer Man
    Bull~
    

    
    All season long I've heard people say "The Patriots haven't a prayer
    this Sunday."  Why doesn't Victor Kiam just go out and get one at the
    'Prayers R Us' store or someplace so they can have a winning season?
    
    What's that you say?  Oh, I get it...you mean you have to get a *clue*
    before you have a prayer.  Now I understand everything.
    
    Dickstah
    

    
1989 Maynard stats...
     
             AVG  TAB  OAB   H  R  RBI  OP  OB%   SAC  BB
  Brooks    .076   15   13   1   2   3    6  20.0   0    2
    

LA Law:

	Soldier, guilty.  10 year hard labor at Leavenworth.  Grace to file
	appeal next day.

	Haunted House.  Settled after Jury hears  closing args IN THE
	HOUSE.  that other lawywer pulled a fuse and the lights went
	out.  Jury was scared, would have found for the folks.

	Sexy english lawyer leaves, that other lawyer tells her he
	couldn't get the fuse back in.  Suddenly, while they're outside
	they see the lights go back on....8^)

	Arnie's wife dumps him.  My prediction, they get it worked out.
	She's TOO mad now to stick with it...

You heard it hear first....

'Saw

PS  What's with Dark Shadows?  Is it a weekly series, or just a mini series
    spread out over a few WEEKS...?

 Geez Saw that Ultixs is making you soft in the brain, the best story line
 was the MAD dictator Senior Partner....

 ;^)

 mike

Yeah, MIke, but he reminded me too much of many of the managers here
at DEC, so it was too painful to write about!  8^)

Sure wouldn't mind getting a $27,000 bonus check instead of a steadily
shrinking turkey though....

I should've gone to law school, like I'd kind of considered at one point
in High School......

'Saw

what da heil is going here? is the junk note under code attack by technoweenies?

After reading Doc stats for the fifth time one has to why the Indians of
Malboro can't use him?

;^)

mike

    
    Tomorrow is Groundhog Day.  Where's the Punxatawney Phil essay, 'Saw?
    
    I hear that Saddam will leave his bunker, and if he sees his shadow,
    there will be six more weeks of war.
    
    Dickstah
    

Every year, on February 2nd, in the depths of a harsh cold, inhospitable
winter, we celebrate the one holiday designed to make up see the
wonderful warm light of hope, of rebirth and rejuvenation...Ground Hog Day.


And quite frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.....

Yeah, but if groundghogs played rugby, we'd probably have the latest burrow
rankings.    :-)  <---- just to be safe

p.s. Mike Childs -  I think Arnie's affliction is "satyriasis"... a.k.a.
	"Horizontal Boppititis"

>    FWIW, Whitney Houston's rendition of the Star Spangled Banner will be
>    released as a single.  Now let's hope she can clear up her complexion
>    before her next tour.
    
    	Saw her on Jay Leno, I mean Johnny Carson, just before Xmas. Great
singer, but when Jay talked to her, all she could do was repeat his questions
as answers.

	Jay: So, Whitney, it must be hard to be on the road at Christmastime?

	Whitney: Yes, Jay, it's hard to be on the road at Christmastime.

	This went on for several minutes.

	Heck, maybe she was just nervous.

	Jim M

    re .272 ('Saw):
    
    I thought it was a lemming, not a groundhog. :-)
    
    

    
    I know how I'm celebrating tomorrow.  I'm gonna go out and grind me a
    hog.
    
    Dickstah
    

    Was last night's 'The Simpsons' not the funniest show to date?  Man, I
    was dying...and crying.  Yes, I must admit that I got a bit misty eyed
    at the end there.
    
    	--dan'l

    
    "What do I need with English class? I'm never going to England!"
     Homer Simpson
    
     Bull~
    
    

    
    The Simpsons was depressing.  I can't believe Homer and Marge are
    actually younger than I am.
    
    Dickstah
    

      What upset me even more (even though Homer and I could be twins :^<)
    was the fact the Homer and Marge *HAD* to get married.
    
    Disillusioned Bull~
    

    re .277
    
    OK, folks.
    
    Spam at Dickster's!!
    
    A&W

    Seriously rollward with the Simpsons last night! I dunno, but I didn't
    give it too much though until recently, but the 70's were a pretty
    funny decade. The Simpsons do a little spoofing on the 70s in other
    episodes, like the previous episode where Bart & Lisa grab the mike on
    amateur nite at the sushi bar, and sing the theme to "Shaft". Gotta
    like the shot of the "several drunken Japanese businessmen" groovin' on
    it. Later, some other clown sings that Cher song "Tramps and Theives". I 
    couldn't believe it! It was one of those songs that I was hoping would
    be permanently purged from memory...
    
    Quote of the night: 
    Homer, after Marge kinda reluctantly agrees to be his prom date, before 
    changing her mind: "Oh boy! I can't wait! I'm gonna get a tux with the
    WIDEST lapels, and get the BIGGEST platform shoes..."
    Check out the fashions of some of their class mates. Some of the Black
    kids had the HUGEST afros, and I really dig those heart-shaped
    sunglasses one guy was wearing.
    
    Tom, Class of '76...

    Wait a sec.. If Homer and Marge HAD to get married, they would have a
    kid considderably older than Bart. (I assume that's what he menat when
    he said to Bart, "Hey, it might happen to you someday if something
    breaks.."
    
    Sad thing about it is that Marge seemed pretty intelligent and it
    seemed like she had a shot at life. Kinda reminds me of our class
    valedictorian, who was real smaht, but instead of going to college, she
    married some loosah at the ripe ol age of 19 and had a few kids before
    divorcing the bum. The thing is, if they were guys, they would have
    been encouraged to go to college and make something of their lives, but
    a lot of women don't get that extra push....
    
    Tom

Tom,

I'm also Class of '76!

Actually, Matt Groening is a couple years older than us (I'm pretty sure)
so that would put him into that time slot at or around the Wonder
Years.  

(I figure the kid in wonder years would be about '74 or '75 from some
stuff I've seen on that show....)


I think by the time our class graduated, most women were figuring on going
to college.  At least half of the women in my class (which was 456 total
size) went to college....

'Saw

    	Hey Dickstah, I hear that Homer stayed back a few years so the
    generation gap ain't so wide.

>    Sad thing about it is that Marge seemed pretty intelligent and it
>    seemed like she had a shot at life. 
    
    But she's the star of one of the most popular shows on TV!  Sheesh,
    Tom, get with it.  ;-)
    
    	--dan'l

    ...which reminds me of this line:
    
    "That Barney Rubble...what an actor."
    
    	--dan'l

Okay, Hawk, I'll give ya '73 ( geez, you are an old fart!)....

Actually, I thought a little later, because I thought on of the things
that happened on the show took place around 1970, and he was in 7th
grade.....

Awright.....

'Saw

    
    > it might happen to you someday if something breaks.."
           
    I used to date a contortionist, until she broke it off. 8^)
    
    Dickstah
    

    Sheesh, you guys is dinosaurs. %^) in '76 the only things I cared about
    was playing sports and catching snakes, and the only thing that broke
    was when the chandelier came chashing down after my brother hit it with
    a tennis ball. Too bad I grooved that pitch.

 72? wasn't that the year of the "Yellow Sunshine" scare.....

 mike

    Mike, it was orange sunshine... at least when I was in high 
    school (early '80s).  

1972 was the first year of High School for me.  We were the first
class to go all four years in the new and improved upgraded high school.

I had Biology, English, Geometry, Russian, French, played in the Band,
and was madly in love with a girl named Patty.

Four years later, we came out of there the richest class ever to go
through Glastonbury (ok, so our officers could have been the cast of
Wall Street), we were the only class to graduate all wearing blue
caps and gowns (instead of white for the girls because of Title IX)
and I weighed maybe 145 soaking wet, at 6'....


And Hawk, don't get on Mike about his johnson.  J.S Bach has 20 kids
and you know what a genius he was.....

'Saw

    
    	Heh, heh......FOSSILS!
    
    	Hawk, he might not be that old but he has high mileage 8-)
    
    	Claybroon

    	Hey!  We gonna take this lying down?  I say we challenge these
    wimps to a rumble!
    
    				/Don

    
    A rumble /Don?  No fair hitting with your cane!!!!! <chortle>
    
    Claybroon
    

Heh....old farts indeed.

Life doesn't even begin to think about beginning till ya hit 30.
Then it just kind of gets really nice and mellow....like sippin'
on a glass of Jack Daniels on a Friday evenin' after a long week
at work, your feet up on the coffee table, a fire going in the
fireplace.....

And Slasher, I'm up for a rumble.  Let me get my Brylcream (or was
it Vitalis) and my zip-gun first!


'saw

>              Us old farts quit doin' that ages ago....
    
    
    	That's what happens when you get old, you run out of gas! :-)
    
    
    						 glen j., 23, youngin

    	Keep out of this 'Saw.  I don't want this turning into a rugbee
    match or somethin'...
    
    				/Don

    You bring out your walkers....
    
    No need to bring up the Elvis vs Elvis discussion.

    No it's a young man's woild.
    
    You bring out polyester, We bring out leather. 
    
    You bring out 8-track, we bring out cds.
    
    You bring out marijuana, we bring out crack.
    
    You bring out platform shoes, we bring out Reeboks.
    
    You bring out "Happy Days", we bring out "Married With Children"
    
    You bring out stallone (Rocky, 1976), we bring out Arnold.
    
    You bring out Nameth, we bring out Montana.  %^)
    

    
    	'Saw, I can't wait to experience the *life begins at 30*  8-)
    
	Actually, I hit the big three 0 in <gasp> 18 days.  Can you guys
    	recommend a store that sells geritol at wholesale prices!
    
    	Claybroon

       If ya want a big family, let eat chocolates and drink beer all
    day. :^>
    
    Bull~
    

    they bring out Chuck Berry and we unleash JOE SATRIANI!  yeeeoow!

    Hey Jess, you forgot:
    
    You bring out disco, we bring out rap.
    
    You bring out strobe lights, we bring out lasers.
    
    You bring out Vietnam, we bring out Iraq.
    
    You bring out Steinbrenner, we bring out Marge.
    
    You bring out the Juice, we bring out Sweetness.
    
     :-)))					 glen j.
    
                                                          

    Glen, Glen, Glen, now why did you have to ruin everything by bringing
    up Rap!?!?!?
    
    Rap = Disco with no music

 Geez Karen, the orange of the 80's compare to the Orange of the late sixties
 early seventies was like Mauve is to Red...I only remember this yellow coming
 around once and the state hospital being over run with overdose cases of
 paranoid schizos because of it....it was a_nasty!!!!!

 ;^)

 You youngsters can meet me and Don at the flagpole after 8th period!!!

 mike 

    I'm with you /Don and Hawk
    
    Dagnabbit, I was chasin' skirts when half of you whippersnappers were
    blowin' and chasin' them Magic Bubbles in the playground. 
    
    Man, i remember when a great pickup was coppin' a good feel. Youse
    younguns had it made!
    
    MikeL
    Class of '71
    
    
     

    You bring out Foreman, we bring out Hollyfield.  Nuf said!
    
    And don't forget, those dockers commercials are targetted at you guys.  
    
    	--dan'l (27)

When I started at DEC in 1978 I was still in high school... wearing t-shirts
and jeans to work.   Now I have to decide whether to wear the black wingtips
or the brown wingtips... and the shirt can be any color as long as it's white.

In 63 days I'll be thirtysomething.   Someone shoot me.

>    We had manly sideburns.  You've got tails (how cute!)
 
	Weren't those sideburns called lambchops?  Now that's manly.
    
(-:   

    You had baby blue leisure suits with those wide white belts and those
    groovy satin shirts.  

    Satriani- not bad
    
    Give me REAL players; Hendrix,Clapton,Page,Alvin Lee,Duane Allman,
                          Dickie Betz,Townsend,the list goes on
    
    

    
    You youngsters have it too easy nowadays.  Why, I had to walk to
    kindergarten in Maine because that was the closest one, even though i
    lived in Massachusetts.  I used to leave right after Memorial Day, and
    had to walk through snowdrifts 30 feet high all the way, day and night,
    just to make it before the school bell went off the day after labor
    day.
    
    And gawd help us if we were late!  The teacher would whip us with
    barbed wire and make us stand outside in a pillory for two weeks
    without food or water while small birds pecked at our eyeballs and
    wolves sniffed at our behinds.  And then when we got home we got the
    same thing, but first we had to clear the boulders off the back 40,
    clean out the stables, and help gran'pa build the Panama Canal.  And
    we had to do it all before breakfast!
    
    The only time we had for play was between 2:00 and 2:15 in the morning,
    but we went outside and played in the sandlot and had fun doing it cuz
    we didn't need no stinkin' NUMBTENDO game.
    
    The only really hard part was that the TV was black and white.
    
    Dickstah
    

    WAIT!!, the older generation had something we don't have...
    
    
    LAVA LAMPS!!!!
    
    (Ooooh, groovy)

    >>Ever get a crack of nice, wide leather across your bum?
    
    >>Hawk
    
    
    Hawk, I never knew you got into S & M!!!!!!!!
    
    Personally, It's be ok with me if the beltER was a 6 ft tall
    dominatriss!!!!
    
    
    JaKe
    

>>    Give me REAL players; Hendrix,Clapton,Page,Alvin Lee,Duane Allman,
>>                          Dickie Betz,Townsend,the list goes on

     Come on, these guys where either overdosing on drugs or passing
     David Bowie around.  :-)
    

     Whens the rumble between fossiles and the young guys. I bet Doc
     has 2 birth certificates so hes assured a spot on the winning
     side. :-)

Chuck

    Chuck
    
    Define "fossiles" as used in your note.
    And Where do you fit in, Chuck???
    
    Isn't that spaaaaaaaaaashel!!!!
    
    JaKe
    

>    Satriani- not bad
>    Give me REAL players; Hendrix,Clapton,Page,Alvin Lee,Duane Allman,
>                          Dickie Betz,Townsend,the list goes on
    
    First of all, I must say all those guys are credible in their own way.
    For that generation, those guys did a lot of ground-breaking material.
    Today's players have the benefit of those roots plus the improvement of
    equipment.  Out of that generation (rock only, but same applies to jazz 
    or anything else), only Hendrix and Jeff Beck come close to Satriani, 
    Vai, and Van Halen.  I have 14 year old students that play a version of 
    "Crossroads" that would put Clapton to shame.
    
    Their are youngsters out there that would make your jaw drop in awe. 
    Much like the young athletes that sleep, eat, and breathe their sport,
    the same holds true for musicians.  They're not only talented and
    persistant, they also hold the knowledge of musical theory.  This
    virtually eliminates all their "boundaries".  Page couldn't read music
    until about 8 years ago, and now he's too stoned most of the time to
    make a contribution.  Guys like Vai are today's Mozart!  It is amazing
    to hear his "Passion & Warfare" and realized that he penned every song
    on it in his head!
    
    Mike

Dickstah --

You forgot to say it was uphill both ways.  My dad ALWAYS used that in
his stories!


And /Don, I'll leave the tape for my ears at home.  I'll just bring
my Vitalis and zip-gun.  I'll bring a length of chain in case anyone
forgets to bring some.....

I'll be arriving in my 68 GTO with the Hurst shifter...(with Joey Heatherton
on my arm!)


Play that funky music, and we don't mean by no Vanilla Ice!


'Saw

    re .331
    Speaking of getting a mean crack of a (white patent leather) belt on
    the backside, dija hear the one about the Sadist and the Masochist
    locked in the same room? The Sadist says "beat me", and the Masochist
    says "no"
    
    Tom

    
    /Don, will we all be wearing our black leather jackets with the
    forty-eleven zippers and the "Heck's Fossils" on the back?
    
    Don't forget your engineer boots with the horseshoe cleats for some
    serious haid-stompin'.
    
    Dickstah
    

    Mike,
    	what's your opinion of Allman and Betz on the slide lead?
    
    
    Remember WE had:
    
    Cheryl Tiegs at her luscious untouchec best(Where's my old SI)
    
    You get: Cheryl Tiegs still not bad but aged like me. Ah, youth is
    wasted on the young. Gotta go touch up me crow's feet!
    
    MikeL
    

>    /Don, will we all be wearing our black leather jackets with the
>    forty-eleven zippers and the "Heck's Fossils" on the back?
>    
>    Don't forget your engineer boots with the horseshoe cleats for some
>    serious haid-stompin'.
 
Forget the haid-stompin'....  We'll die laughin'!  HA!  (-:
    

    Yo 'Saw, 
    
    you had Joanie Cunningham,  We have Kelly Bundy.
    
    You had Cheryl Tiegs, we have Elle Mcpherson, Kathy Ireland, Paulina
    etc.
    
    

Jake

     Since 30 is right around the corner for me, I guess I'm just an old 
     goat, but I'm no fossil yet. I'll side with the young guys tho', they
     will have younger cheerleaders.

Chuck

    REMEMBER:
    
    ITS NEVER TOO LATE TO HAVE A HAPPY CHILDHOOD!
    
    (Had to shout to make sure all the 'fossils' could hear me) 8^)

    
    You guys had the 3-11 & the Yale bowl GIANTS, 
    
    We've got the SB champ GIANTS!!!
    
    You guys can have Raquel, we've got Julia Roberts.
    
    re: Mike H.
    
    	For shame Mike, taking a shot at a fellow youngin.  Just for 
    that, you will not be allowed to leave the Dub this Sunday until 
    you have pledged allegiance to the LAKERS, and denounce the Jihad(tm).
                                                                        ;-)
    
    						 glen j.

>    	For shame Mike, taking a shot at a fellow youngin.  Just for 

    You deserved it for listening to that cRAP!

>    that, you will not be allowed to leave the Dub this Sunday until 
>    you have pledged allegiance to the LAKERS, and denounce the Jihad(tm).

    Who's gonna stop me from denouncing LA scum?  People that know me, know
    better than to believe such drivel! 

    Mike

    re.345
    
    WHADDJA SAY MY HEARING AID BATTERY IS WEAK!!!!I wore a hat over the
    solar panel today.
    
    
    JaKe
    

    I'm here to provide a different look
    
    And that look is the whole of rap
    Not just the commercial pap
    But the underground, that raw ghetto sound
    From which rap music was found
    But you can't deny it, you cannot refuse it
    I be rocking that ghetto music!!!
    
    ...
    
    Hip hop rules, hip hop rules
    And these other industries out here can't take it!
    
    
    Word.
    
    						 flavor flav
                                                 

Of course the biggest one is

they had the sexual revolution....we have AIDS :-(
they had Bra burning              we have condom ads :-(

They had woodstock                 we had Live Aid :-(
They had Lotus Elans               we have the Mazda Miata :-(

On the good side....

They had Disco                we have REM
they had Bell bottoms         we have Neon
they had long hair            we have flat tops
they had keds                 we have Air Nike
they had materialism          we have environmentalism....



Metz

    Rap
    r-r-r-r-Rap
    r-r-r-r-rap
    r-r-r-r-rap
    
    r-r-r-r-rap is crap!!!!!!
    
    
    
    JaKe
    

    Geez it's tough to go through 100+ Junk notes...
    
    1) LA Law comments forgot to say that Rox got fired and rehired by
       Douglas.
    
    2) Last night's Simpson's was set in '74.  Anyone know if The Joker
       is on Simpson's sing the blues...
    
    3)  Boone's wine is still available...
    
    4)  I think Disco evolved more into House music than Rap.
    
    5) I still wear 2 different pair of Chuck's All-stars, thank you.
    
    6) You guys (I'm 27) had Susan Dey, we have Joanne Going 
       (from Newport, by the way...)
    
    7) You had Archie Bunker, we have Al Bundy
    
    8) You had Flip Wilson, we have Keenan Ivory Wayans.
    
    9) You had WFL, and people cared, we have WAFL and no one cares.
    
    10) You had 8-track, we have CD's...
    
    11) You had Tom Snyder, we have Letterman and Arsenio
    
    12) You had Dick Clark on Bandstand.  We have Nia Peeples.
    
    that's enough for now...

    
    	13) You had local weather....we have the weather channel
    	14) You had VW's...we have Farfugnugun's or how ever you spell it
    	15) You had the Midnight Special...We have VH1 or eMpTv.
    	16) You had the Statler Bros....we have Alabama
    
    That's enough for now...
    
    B.A. 

    Shees!! I hate it when work screws up a good "oldie" vs.
    yung'un's pebble toss!  :~o  <-w/broken nose
    
    Re:hawK - WayyToGO!!
    
    re:Karen: Lest we not forget your lucious titles and derryaires
    (tm) ???
    
    Dickster - we related or Somefim?  Eye'd swear we wuz....
    
    hawk - for a small price (Sammy Adams???) I'll show you the Playboy
    	issue wif Raquel in it (no sticky pages either!!)   ;^)
    
    MikeL - you got a problem with CT in this day and age??? Turn out
    the lights 'n close your eye's if you (like most young pups just
    wanna WHAM BAMM 'n thankya Maam) cain't 'preciate areal luvin
    experience.  Personally, as a old_dude, the real lovin b4 the 
    WHAMM BAMM is sooo good & soo much better (by a factor of 20X+)
    that I feel sorry for ya'll. (hehehe)
    
    Walt - Don't forget, WE were the designer-generation of CD's!
    8-tracks were folks  before our generation ( like lEe )   ;*)
    
    Kev
    

    The use of the phrase "johnson" reminds me of a funny line in "Top
    Gun".
    
    The guy who rode shotgun on Tom Cruise's flights (Goose) is having a 
    friendly argument with "Iceman" (the other hotshot pilot) :
    
    Iceman : "Who's butt did you kiss to get here [Top Gun Academy] ?"
    
    Goose : "The list is long and distinguished ..."
    
    Iceman : "So is my johnson ..."
    
    :-)

    We had Mary-jane... You have crack
           Woodstock ............Lip scinc
           Rock!      .....      Rap (gag)
           Nixon       .....     Dukakis
           Real baseball   ...   D.H. (GAG)
           Real cars      ....   Yugos
           Drive-ins      ...    movie channels
           Race to the moon ...  Race to cure Aids
           Cold war        ....  Drug wars
         Juvenile Delinquents.... Gang wars
           Beatles    ...         Milli-Vanille
              Lucy      .......  Roseanne Barr
    
    

    Hey, when's Arbour Day?   ANd why do they plant trees?  What's the
    Islanders' guy gotta do with anything???
    
    JD

    The greatest musician/singer alive today is Ringo Starr.  Bar none.
    
    What a great guy.  Great band.  Too bad he's saddled with that Beatles
    thang.  But that's ancient history.  He's got a good looking sheila,
    too.  And he dressed oh tres chic.
    
    "all peaches and cream, oh whatta dream, lips like strawberry whine, 
    she's sixteen, she's be-ooti-ful, and she's mined!!"
    
    Whatta songwriter.  Great range.  A virtuso on the stretched animal
    skin, fer sure.
    
    And can he dance - makes David Bowie look like Sam.
    
    JD

Everybody's forgetting one of the all time greats -- Otis Redding.

Backed by such greats as Steve Cropper, Duck Dunn, and Booker T, Otis
rewrote the book on Soul and Rhythm and Blues.  

Many of his tunes (Respect, Hard to Handle, Sittin' on the Dock) have
been covered by other artists...

Another rocker to die in a plane crash....8^(


'Saw

    3Dog night!!!
    ABBA!!!!
    CHicago!!!!!
    Boris Karloff!!!!
    

Olivia Newton John
KC and the Sunshine Band
Wild Cherry
Bay City Rollers....

yeehah, what a decade! ;^)

    M-M-M-my Sharona !

    Bachman Turner Overdrive
    Average White Band
    Barry White
    Edgar Winter
    Rufus
    for all you ex-discoites-The Tramps (sp)
    

    >                  -< Who did that "legend" Claire ? >-
    
    Gilbert O'Sullivan

>>                      -< Who did that "legend" Claire ? >-

Gilbert O'Sullivan.  Now go ahead and guess my age ;-).

Funny you should pick that song.  I was digging through some old records of
mine which my parents still have just last night.  Found the Gilbert O'Sullivan
record in it (big hit from the record was "Alone again, naturally" for you old
American Top 40 fans).  At least it was in between Harold Melvin and the Blue
Notes and a VERY old Thelonius Monk album.  Unfortunately, none of them were in
very good condition.  I *did* manage to liberate some spectacular 10-inch jazz
records from the 1940s that my mother had.

j.

    "..ya get NO bread wiffff one meat balllll.."
    
    yuk,yuk
    
    Kev
    

    
    >    "..ya get NO bread wiffff one meat balllll.."
     
    Doesn't ring any bells with me.  Is it maybe what Anthony was told
    after his momma hollered out the window in the North End of Boston
    in the Prince spaghetti ads?
    
    "Anthonnnneeeeeee.... comma home or I breaka U face... Mangia!!!
    You mangia only one meata-ball you sommonabitch and there be no bread
    for you....Justa wait till I tella U Uncle Guido..."
    
    Dickstah
    

This is in response to the young versus old debate:



Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Hippie Horde
They have weeded out the vintage where the holy mushrooms are stored,
They have loosed the good vibrations of the Summer of Love I adored,
It's time to get turned on!

Glory, Glory Halle-lugeon
Glory, Glory Halle-lugeon
Glory, Glory Halle-lugeon
It's time to get turned on.

We all listened to Janis singing in the glow from Lava Lamps,
and we stopped the rain at Woodstock but we still were mighty damp,
but the pot that we were smoking really warmed up the camp
It's time to get turned on.

Glory, Glory Halle-lugeon
Glory, Glory Halle-lugeon
Glory, Glory Halle-lugeon
It's time to get turned on.

On the spur of the moment they all came to Monterey
Just to see a guy named Jimi, greet the brand new day
His guitar was strung all backward, but man the dude could play
It's time to get turned on!

Glory, Glory Halle-lugeon
Glory, Glory Halle-lugeon
Glory, Glory Halle-lugeon
It's time to get turned on.

Out in San Francisco, they had the Grateful Dead,
and Gracie Slick was tellin us that we must feed our head,
And in that California Dreamin' it was Mama Cass that said,
It's time to get turned on.

Glory, Glory Halle-lugeon
Glory, Glory Halle-lugeon
Glory, Glory Halle-lugeon
It's time to get turned on.

And now we're all much older, our hair's gray, we're getting fat,
but the mem'ries of that time back then, will get us over that,
Just give me my bell bottoms, and I'll go and pass the hat,
It's time to get turned on!

Glory, Glory Halle-lugeon
Glory, Glory Halle-lugeon
Glory, Glory Halle-lugeon
It's time to get turned on.



Peace man,
'Saw

    
    Truly inspirational, Mr. Way!  Your genius belies your young years!
    
    Dickstah
    

    .369
    Yeah, I always liked the swing sound. I saw (shoe-ed) Joe Jackson a few
    years ago, and he broke into a lengthy medley from his "Jumpin Jive"
    album. Great stuff. Who knows, maybe it dates back to when I was a kid
    and used to watch those "Loony Tunes" cartoons where the dogs (or
    whatever kind of aminal) used to break out into a 20-piece orchestra by
    ripping up the pluming. A radiator would be a_accordian, pipes would be
    saxes or clarinets, etc.
    
    Tom
      

    re.372
    
    Farm Out, 'Saw
    
    
    
    JaKe
    

Another junk note for ya.


Has anyone else out there seen the Hallmark Valentines day commercial
with John "Cliff Claven" Ratzenberger?  It's hysterical.

It starts with him saying that he's a fan of postal carriers everywhere,
and that you should give the Hallmark Gift Box of Chocolates this
Feb 14.  Because if you do, several weeks later, Hallmark will send
a smaller box of chocolates to your sweetie.

Then he says Think about it.  Your sweetie gets chocolates on Valentines
Day, then again a couple weeks later.  And your postal carrier gets
a real good feeling -- and maybe even a hug....


It's a great commercial....
'Saw

    This is on my Rugby calander, but it really isn't a sports birthday
    (but it is probably a CAM::SPORTS_91 birthday) so I'll put it here:
    
    Bob Marley - born on this day in 1945.

Roll me a great big spliff!

    When did Marley die(brain tumor,correct?)
    
    My wife was a HUGE Wailers' fan (B4 they evolved into Marley and
    the Wailers). In fack, she used to have a Bob Marley party wif her
    roomies on the weekend closest to his birthday( late 70's). In a weird
    twist, after he died, she continued to throw Marley parties for a
    couple of years and billed them as "Dead Bob parties"
    
    Mikel
     
    Yeah, I know i married a weird one
    

    Marley died in 1980 or 81 from an infection caused by playing soccer
    barefoot. Apparently he cut his foot, and it got infected, but he
    refused medical treatment, hoping to cure it through prayer.
    Eventually, he died from it. Really sad. 
    
    Tom 

    
>    Marley died in 1980 or 81 from an infection caused by playing soccer
>    barefoot. Apparently he cut his foot, and it got infected, but he
>    refused medical treatment, hoping to cure it through prayer.
>    Eventually, he died from it. Really sad. 
    
    I've been a Wailerhead for years and this is the first I've ever heard
    of that story.  Bob Marley died of brain cancer...unless you know
    something the rest of us don't.
    
    	--dan'l

Funny this should be in here. Day before yesterday I picked up the album
`Legend' , which is `The Best Of Bob Marley And The Wailers (I assumed
they meant WhAlErs - right `Saw? - but dose dem islanders cont spell for
beans, eh mon?)

Marley died of a brain tumor cause by improperly overtaping his ears
during rugby matches.

Mike JN

    No, I heard the foot infection story from Tank on WBCN, so you know it 
    *MUST* be true.

    another un-Sports birthday:
    
    James Dean was born on this day in 1931.

    
    >   James Dean was born on this day in 1931.
      
    
    And he's still makin' those great breakfast sausages.
    

    Who the hail permitted LA Law to blow the whistle on Jerry West last
    night?  I mean I'd heard that West was a man possessed, but I never
    figgered that when they said he was a multi-faceted individual they
    meant it literally!
    
    glenn
     

Okay, time for the LA Law report....


Major story lines:

	Arnie and Corrinne go at it during the depositions.

	Leland solicits Rosalind's help to keep their biggest client
	from getting taken over

	Abbe cuts a deal with Douglas (Sr Partner)

	Mickey defends a multiple personality case against murder charges...



Okay, Corrine was going after Arnie for mental anguish etc.  It came out
during Arnie's deposition that he'd slept with Gwen (or whatever her name
was) as week before he was married.  Also about the blonde on his birthday
party....

Arnie had Tommy depose Corrinne, and he cut her to ribbons.  Later, she
and Arnie talked, and as much as they still (I think) love each other,
she doesn't respect him, so it's splitsville.  The show ended with
him putting Chloe to bed and saying goodbye....

Leland's best friend, and CEO of FedCorp(sp) was trying to avoid a takeover
from with by a slimey VP.  Leland tells Rosalind, and she offers to help.
She looks at the files.  Nexted thing you know, she's meeting with the
VP telling him she found a memo that says that the CEO was arrested for
soliciting three times, and bribed a DA to get off.

They set up a meeting at the law firm where this comes out.  Leland
blows up at Rosalind, tells her he was testing her by leaving fake
info in the files, and leaves the meeting.  Anne Kelsey who was there
calls Rosalind a coniving bitch, and tells the VP that he is going to
resign otherwise they'll expose him for the extortionist that he is.

The VP and the lawyer leave.  Leland comes back in and lo and behold,
Rosalind was in on the thing from the beginning, which surprised the
hell outta me....


Abbe, with the help of the english lady lawyer, cuts a deal with
Douglas about getting a percentage of her business.  Later they go
to dinner and after dinner they hug each other and then give each other
one of those quick, just between girlfriends kisses.  The second kiss
isn't so quick...  Next day Abbe's all uncomfortable.  

At this point, we don't know if the english lady lawyers goes both
ways (she said she likes men) or the other way or what way she goes.
They both stay friends....


Finally, Kusack is defending this multiple personality case.  I'm not
going to tell the whole story, but the actor playing the multiple
personality guy did a PHENOMENAL job with the role....


'Saw

Wales Conference

Adams           W   L   T   Pts
Boston.........32  18   8    72***
Montreal.......31  21   6    68
Hartford.......24  25   6    54***
Buffalo........21  23  10    52
Quebec.........11  35   9    31

	Maybe we should start a magic number countdown to when Jim Dinsmore
"airs it out" for his fellow SPORTsters.  Who's bringing the beer?

				/Don

 Yeah, the Rosalind-Leland-Anne conspiracy mini-drama to save the CEO's
 head was brilliant and it shocked me, too.
 
 One thing I couldn't figure out about it was the night before the big
 meeting when Leland and Rosalind were having dinner and he was having
 second thoughts about her being there the next day.  Said he felt weak and
 uncomfortable.   How could he feel that way when she had such a pivotal
 role to play in the next day scam ???
 
 Also, I thought the CJ-Abbie kiss was *electric*.   And the next day, they
 sorta worked things out and Abbie invited her that night over to watch a
 tape.  So CJ jokingly says "Wear that tight little skirt you've got."  
 Abbie just about died until she saw the joke smile.   This could be tres
 interesting.
 
 Also, I'm glad Arnie's out of the marriage.  He's a much more interesting
 character when he's on the prowl.   Plus now we'll get to see his "Babe Of
 The Week" parade again.  <insert Tarzan jungle yell here>
 
 The multiple personality thing was interesting, too.  I thought the judge
 was bending over backwards to give the nut every chance to walk out of
 there.  And I loved the opening scene joke when they teased Michael about
 representing a client with so many personalities when he didn't even have
 one himself.
 
 Roxanne is now Douglas' right-hand lady and is running the staff meeting. 
 Arnie is furious with her but they'll probably "make up" before long after
 Arnie figures out that he's happier with his wolf fangs showing.
 
 Bob Hunt

>Wales Conference
>
>Adams           W   L   T   Pts
>Boston.........32  18   8    72***
>Montreal.......31  21   6    68
>Hartford.......24  25   6    54***
>Buffalo........21  23  10    52
>Quebec.........11  35   9    31
>
>	Maybe we should start a magic number countdown to when Jim Dinsmore
>"airs it out" for his fellow SPORTsters.  Who's bringing the beer?

Well, unless I'm totally inept at figuring this out (and I very well
could be) any combination of Bruins wins/Whaler losses totalling 32 points
will give the Bruins a better finish than the Whale.

The BEST the Whale could do is 104 points (25 games left, or 50 points),
while the Bruins would lose the rest and stay at 72.....


Now, I want to know EXACTLY what the payoff is, and if we can have the
event covered by Lisa Olson....8^)

Also, who's gonna "create" the black and gold jock?????

'Saw

    My roommate said he could see the takeover thing coming.  That threw
    me.  I was really hoping that Leland would kick Rosalyn's butt.
    
    When I saw CJ and Abby coming out of the restaurant, I started
    thinking, "Wait... does CJ have a boyfriend?  They never said she
    did I wonder...." and then wow? smack? Guess what I saw?  I was
    dying...  I'd like to see Abby in that skirt again too... ha ha..
    I think this could get real interesting.  Think CJ and Rox will
    start up a friendship?   Arnie and CJ?  Arnie and CJ and Abby?
    Nah, I'll stop there.
    
    The multiple personality guy was great.  Hope they bring him back
    like they've done with Skyler, the little lawyer and the guy with
    Tourette's.  
    
    No Victor or Gracie last night... wonder what's up with them.
    
    Worth watching despite the Pistons game...
    
    _Walt

Wasn't the multiple personality actor the same one that played
the pyscho in the first Dirty Harry movie?  (The one with 
"Do you feel lucky?").

One of the best episodes LA Law's ever had.

Mike

>Forgot one:
>
>Slasher 1	Drunk 0


I think in this instance we could use a short blurb on the "game", 
rather than just a pure score......

Don't keep us in the dark,
'Saw

    Unfortunately I didn't see lasted nites show, but I saw the lamesville
    "100th anniversary special" or whatever it was called on Wednesday. Is
    Jane Pauley BAD or what?  She sat there with this totally phony smile 
    on her face, asking the most sophomoric questions. She even looked
    surprised when the actress who plays Roxanne said she feels as if the
    character is a close friend, someone who she knows how she'll react in
    a given situation. No $#!T, Jane! She's only been playing the character
    for 5 years! Any wanna-be-actor/actress waiting tables at your
    favorite restaraunt could tell you that's what acting IS.
    
    Even though Baba Wawa has trouble speaking the English language, she at
    least has the intelligence to ask half-germaine questions, unlike Baby
    Jane...
    
    Tom

'Saw,

   This guy that looked like Rev Jim (from Taxi) wanted to go at it with
   the Slasher. The guy couldn't standup. We all decide that he was a NY 
   sports fan. :-)

   The guy was an old harmless local who was tanked. He was asked to leave.

Chuck

    
   > The guy was an old harmless local who was tanked. He was asked to leave.
    
    Prob'ly Kelly Stouffer...
    
    glenn
    

    
    /Don woulda clobbered him too, what with all the fights he watches.
    
    Floats like a butterfly, stings like a bee he does. 8^)
    
    Dickstah
    

World's funniest exchange...

Drunk Bum, to /Don after punching him in the arm:  "D'you ha' a butt."
/Don, to bum, obviously lying: "No, I don't have a butt."

    
    	Rollward!  Now for the big question:  Is /Don's butt menthol
    	or regular?  Filtered maybe?
    
    	Claybroon

    Let me clear thangs up:
    
    The drunk sought /Don out, because he understood Broon-eese.  A typical
    Gahden denizen he was.  HE used the F-word a lot, was drinking coke,
    and asked Waddle for directions to the men's room.  Slasher and Slasher
    Junior kept the guy at bay, with the Slasher menacingly saying "Don't
    touch my hair!"  This shook the guy up.  Dan pointed out that the drunk
    looked like Joe Willie, with better knees.   Kevin Farley kept calling
    him Chris, but Farley *never* gets anyone's name right.  Slasher also
    threathed the guy with "Don't make me get up!"  I couldnt' tell if this
    meant /Don had a headache or what.  Anyway, the guy left, and said he
    was going to Foxboro to apply for the PR job.  Ninja, the bravest man
    in the world (havetabe, wearing a Patriots jacket - though I did notice
    the hand drawn missle on the sleeve...), thought the guy wasbetter
    suited as a prospective owneer.  "He can't do worser."  The bartender
    gave us free chicken nuggets, or reasonable facimilse, for keeping
    Slasher at bay.  "nobody touches /Don's hair..."
    
    JD

    
    	Thanks JD, but I got a question.  How come he asked WardleVane(tm)
    	where the men's room was?  ;^)
    
    	Claybroon

    
    'Saw, that story rings a bell but I can't say I remember it.  So,
    howzabout it T?  Tell us the bedtime story of Conan the Librarian(tm).
    
    Claybroon

>               -< pretty please with an IU win over OSU on top! >-
>
>    
>    'Saw, that story rings a bell but I can't say I remember it.  So,
>    howzabout it T?  Tell us the bedtime story of Conan the Librarian(tm).

Yes, MrT must re-tell this story.  His inimitable style, his nuances
with the phrasing and exposition of main characters is truly skilled, 
and would lend a lot to this true gem of a story.....

'Saw

    Hey Claywad, they wouldn't even let a wimpy girly mon yuppie like you
    in this most manly bar....especially not in the manly mens room....
    
    Youze guys are getting a skewed version of this story...
    
    First of all, this drunk didn't look at all like Namath (w or w/o
    knees). He did remind me of Cam Neely, which is probably why he
    gravitated towards /Don...either that or it was the gravitational field
    that Slasher has eminating from him.
    
    After he determined that Slasher didn't have a butt, he looked over at
    Sgt. Devlin and mumbled...."were you in the military?"...of course, a
    true left wing liberal like JD could only answer "NO" to that question,
    so the drunk proceeded to call JD a "f_in P_word"...
    
    Next, he got up and eyed A&W. As he stumbled toward her, she asked me
    to just stand in front of the booth in case he decided to fall on her
    or something. As he wandered by, he mumbled "wheresh da mens room???".
    We ignored his question....then he looks up at me, smacks me on the
    chest and said "I SAID WHERESH DA F'ING MENS ROOM"...
    
    He then stumbled past me to the mens room, we all had some chicken
    McParts, and went to some fern bar that Slasher likes. 
    
    Pretty dull night until we got to Max II and watched the Sesame Street
    show.
    
    JoJ

    Here it is, SPORTS fans - the top 5 beer-brewing states:
    
    1.  Colorado
    2.  Texas
    3.  California
    4.  New York
    5.   Milwaukee
    
    SO, the Milwaukee Brewers should change their name to the Sausages. 
    The Broncos should become the Brewers, the Rangers the Alers, the Mets
    the Mugs.
    
    JD

    CH. Whisperwind On a Carousel, a standard poodle, won the best in show
    award at the 115th Westmister Kennel Club Show at Madison Square
    Garden.  CWOAC is woned by Dr. and Mrs Frederick Hartsock of Potomac
    Maryland.  Ch. Whisperwind On A Carousel because the first poodle to
    wint the show award since 1973.  The '73 Champeen, Sweet Polly
    Purebread was unavailable for comment.
    
    JD

    The U.S. Ballet Ski Team dominated the Freestyle Worldd Champeenships
    as Lane Spina won the Men's Gold at Whiteface Mountain in Wilmington,
    NY.
    
    JD

Speaking of Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issues:

Where in the hell was mine!?!?

As it turned out... my son had scarfed it up as soon as it hit the
doorstep.

I `splained that I didn't mind if he used my tools, spit on my truck, or
kicked the dawg.... but  ta keep his damned hands offa ma SISI!!!

So....
having never been as big of an Elle fan as some in here.... 
I've decided to adopt Ashley, Judit, Rachel, and Kathy.
You guys can have Elle and all the others.

Enjoy
Mike JN

    
    I have watch the show after Acid Hall.. Its called The Party Machine
    with Nina Peeples.... Check out the outfits in that show... WOW!!!!
    I never went to dances with women dressed like that...
    
    REK

    BTW, FWIW, George Thorogood and the Destroyers has a new album out,
    it's called "Boogie People". I only heard one song...pretty good..
    
    JoJ

    
    Saw a real article about one more cookbook being put out on the
    market by, of all people, Dr. Ruth.
    
    Two of the recipes in the noozepapah were for chicken breasts (I wonder
    how long you have to stroke 'em before you put the meat in?), and some
    cherry something or other.
    
    Look out Jeff Smith, Julia child, and that Cajun "Onyon" dude!
    
    Dickstah
    

	The SI Swimsuit issue was a dissapointment.  8^(  You saw more skin 
on the X Man, Benito Santiago and that surfer than you did on the models.
Bring back the days of Cheryl Tiegs in a mesh bathing suit!  8^O

				/Don

    The SI swimsuit issue has really become lame over the years.  I'm glad
    I don't waste my money on it.

    >BTW, FWIW, George Thorogood and the Destroyers has a new album out,
    >it's called "Boogie People". I only heard one song...pretty good..
    
    What a coincidence!  Walt was just recently asking whatever happened to
    George THorogood.  He's a much better musician than he was a second
    baseman.
    
    Dan

From: clarinews@clarinet.com
Newsgroups: clari.news.music
Subject: Rock guitarist Thorogood fights release of 'demo' tapes
Date: 12 Feb 91 14:40:25 GMT
 
 
	BOSTON (UPI) -- Rocker George Thorogood is trying to prevent a local
record collector from releasing ``demo'' tapes his lawyers says are so
bad they would embarrass him and his band.
	Thorogood testified Monday in U.S. District Court against the suit
brought by John Forward, who recorded Thorogood and the Delaware
Destroyers in two sessions in 1976 in studios in Revere and Boston.
	Forward, a bus driver and part-time record store clerk, said he
produced the sessions -- before Thorogood gained fame with his blues-rock
sound -- with the idea that one day he would release an album.
	Thorogood said he does not dispute that Forward owns the nine reels
of tape, but said the tapes were only ``demos'' cut in order to win a
contract with Rounder Records, which eventually did sign Thorogood.
	Thorogood and Rounder then held their own studio sessions, which
resulted in Thorogood's first two albums, ``George Thorogood & the
Delaware Destroyers'' and ``Move It on Over.'' Several million copies of
the albums were sold.
	Thorogood's lawyer, Gordon Katz, said there ``was never a deal to do
a record, never any binding contract'' with Forward.
	Forward's lawyer, Kenneth Goldberg, said he expects to call some 20
witnesses in the trial that is expected to last a week. Goldberg said
the witnesses would prove that Forward thought he was producing a
Thorogood album.
	Katz said the tapes were meant only to interest Rounder. He said the
sound quality was so bad that Thorogood and the band would be
embarrassed if they ever came out.
	Both the contested demo tapes and the album version of ``Move It on
Over'' were played during Monday's opening session.
	U.S. District Court Judge Joseph Tauro said he thought both versions
``were pretty good,'' although admitting to knowing ``more about big
band music than anyone in the world.'' Tauro suggested the tapes be
released and ``the marketplace should decide'' their quality. Neither
side took him up on his suggestion.
	Thorogood was expected to resume his testimony Tuesday.
	His new album, ``Boogie People,'' is due out in two weeks.

The reason the SI swimsuit issue is so lame now is because the old bag that
produces it thinks that people (men) buy it to see the suits and the locations.

She thinks she's producing art instead of taking pictures of some of the most 
beautiful women in the world wearing next to nothing.

I watched about 10 minutes of HBO's the making of SI swimsuit issue before I 
had to turn it off laughing. The old biddy runs around trying to tell the 
photographers how to do their jobs, the makeup people how to do theirs, and
the models how to do theirs....sort of like some bosses in DEC. 

The old issues used to succeed in spite of her but SI has given her so much 
control now that you'll never see the revealing shots of old....


sigh,

  Metz
 

    
    Did you hear Dennis Miller's comment on the SI cover?
    
    "Sports Illustrated released its annual hot-air ballooning issue this
    week..."
    
    glenn
    

>    And now for something completely different, can you believe what the
>    evolutionary process of Topps baseball cards is now yielding?  War in
>    the Gulf cards.  I could handle Batman cards, Mutant Ninja cards, and
>    even New Kids on the Block cards, but War in the Gulf cards has got to
>    be the lowest.  Just like no toy gun ever made it's way inside my home,
>    neither will these cards.  I have complete confidence in my kids, cause
>    they know they lose Nintendo for a whole month if I see just 1 card!


Hawk, I couldn't agree more.

Some people wanna make a buck on anything, you know....

Someone mentioned in here how they used to love baseball cards, but
now they've become big business.  Well, trading cards have lost a lot
of appeal for me because of all of this foolishness.

I mean, what are they gonna do next?  Start putting the actual photos
of the germs that get fired on the missiles for germ warfare?

Sick....

(ps, I liked the dog conversation better...it was happier.  I mean,
what's the worst thing that could happen there?  Fido pees on the
judge's leg, or Fifi goes poo-poo on the astroturf??????)

'Saw    

	I usualy watch the westiminster show too.  I was hoping the English
Sheepdog would win.  I think poodles are so ugly when the are groomed for
shows.  They don't look that bad when groomed like normal dogs.

  I liked the 6 reasons why a big dog should win the best in show list.  
Unfortuantly I can only remember one now.  #3 You tell the Rotwiller he didn't 
win.  Anyone rember some others?



Mc

    A Dobberman won Westminster two years ago and a German Sheppard won
    four or five years ago.  
    
    I learned something about Poodles, however, the other night.  Regarding
    the way they are cut, it has historical backgroud.  Poodles were
    originally used as hunting dogs.  Because they're fur is not water
    proof like other hunting dogs, groomers used to leave these big balls
    of fur here and there (like on the ankles, haunches, and top of the
    head) for extra warmth when the dogs did go in the water.
    
    The sheepdog had my vote too as did that old mangey looking gray one.
    
    	--dan'l

>
>    
>    The sheepdog had my vote too as did that old mangey looking gray one.
>   


	The old mangey one was a Scottish Wolfhound I believe.  

	I find the histories of the dogs very interesting.  Some of the breeds
have been around for ~7000 years.  Some bred to  hunt wolves, gazzeles, lions,
others bred as weapons, or for rodent control and some just as compaions.  
Real interesting...

mc

>>have been around for ~7000 years.

Like my neighbor's dog.

    The Golden Retriever should win every year. Not only is it a most manly
    dog, but clearly the best looking dog in the show.
    
    JoGR

Letter To The Editor Of Sports Illustrated

	Dir Sir:

	If you insist on continuing this "artsy" position on the S.I. 
Swimsuit issue instead of crass sexploitation, then please cancel my 
subscription.


				/Pervert

JoJ --

Spoken like a true brie-eating, perrier-sipping, Village People fan!

The Golden Retriever, while happy-go-lucky and frolicky, is the 
good-natured buffoon of the dog world.

A malamute, a husky, or a samoyed is a better dog.  AFter all, how
many Westminster Championships has the Golden Retriever won?

8^)

    /Don, while the SI swimsuit is somewhat less revealing and exciting
    this year, I still prefer checking it out as opposed to some grubby
    lineman, or a sweating BB player, or Steve Lyons dropping his pants.
    
    Cheryl Hunter is my favorite, by far.  "Body Sculpting".  Now, there's
    a hobby I could take up if she was the instructor.  :*)
    
    lEe

    
    Eat yer hearts out boys.  I just had a bootiful bouquet of real purty
    flowers delivered to me here in the office from my bodacious wife (with
    an assist from Merlin Olsen.
    
    Isn't that special?? kinda chokes me up kinda like.
    
    Dickstah
    

Succumbing to another industry generated Holiday, eh Dickstah ?



Just kidding.....


valentines day is one of my favorite days 'cepting we don't get the day off.
I would like it even more if my wife's birthday wasn't 5 days later....Kind of
hits ya in the old pocketbook....


Metz

    
    Where's the sentimental heart-rending Valentine's Day day essay??
    
    Any volunteers, say on node CAM:: ?
    
    Dickstah
    

    Heard a good one by some nutcase comedian named Rick Overton on HBO
    last night:
    
    "The American spirit is founded upon piling into wooden boats and
    sailing away from men like Jesse Helms."
    
    He really ripped Bush and 'President' Quail too.
    
    	--dan'l

Being from Chicago, I always thought Valentines Day was named after the
St. Valentines Day Massacre. I never could figure out what the hell
boxes of candy had to do with it!

    ( youse guys just stand over dere. I'll be witcha in a minnit )

Mike JN

Re: Dogs

My wife got a Siberian Huskie. I wasn't too wild about the idea, because
I've never been particularly fond of animals that weren't intended for
the cookpot. But she was very clear about the idea that this dog was not
intended for us to use in a casserole.

As it turns out, I'm getting to kind of like him. He's hilarious to
watch when little kids are around. He herds them around just like they
were puppies. And they'll climb all over him, and he thinks it's just
wonderful. Loves people. At first it kind of scared me when he was
around kids, because when he opens his mouth wide, it's about the same
as throwing open the hood of my pickup.... huge... and teeth forever.
But nary a problem. With other dogs he's not as tolerant. Whether it's
his yard or the other dog's yard, he goes straight for the throat, but
as soon as the other dog cowers away, he just goes on about his
business. If Frank's wolf is a female, maybe we ought let `em breed.
Make some excellent pups, hey?

( I also like Irish Wolfhounds. They're so huge and craggy looking
they're kind of majestic )

Mike JN

Sounds tough Hawk....

We won't be worrying bout no chilruns for a couple of years but I'll remember
your sagely advice when the time comes. Of course my wife would like to have
them right now but I'm holding firm (ahem).


Metz

Mike --

Sorry, the wolf's a male.  And, quite unfortunately, I had to have him
neutered.  Seems when he was old enough to know about bitches in heat,
he had himself a little escapade.

He was chained (on a sturdy chain!) in a pen.  He broke the chain,
jumped out of the pen (no hard feat, because wolves can jump a ten
foot wall from a standing start), and took off after the bitch.

Oh yeah, she happened to be penned up, *two* miles away!

A couple of days later the lady who owned the bitch called me, and
told me she'd found my "husky cross".  Well, I picked him up and
took him home.  He'd never done the deed, and he developed a case of
something usually only found in older, non-neutered dogs....Prosthetitis.

The vet felt it would be best if I had him neutered, since he literally
couldn't walk.  I did, he got better, end of story.

Talk about intense call of the wild urges.


And I know what you mean about their mouths.  I used to have a stray
cat which I found as a kitten under my front step.  (No, the dog didn't
eat him, I gave him to my mom).   Anyway, 'Rak could fit his mouth
right around the cat's head.

The funniest part about the whole thing was that the two were like
best friends.  they still play up a storm chasing each other around
when I take my wolf/dog over to my folks house...


He's one of the best friends I've ever had, and I sure would hate it
if anything ever happened to him....

'Saw

>>Spoken like a true brie-eating, perrier-sipping, Village People fan!

    FRankwa, while I do like Brie, you've once again missed the mark with
    Perrier and the Village Idiots. But, as usual, we anticipated a silly,
    less than fack(tm)tual remark from you.
    
>>The Golden Retriever, while happy-go-lucky and frolicky, is the 
>>good-natured buffoon of the dog world.

    FrankWa, the word buffoon really bothers me in your reply. While
    retrievers are happy-go-lucky, and frolicky, they are certainly not
    buffoons. They are very bright, in fack, downright brilliant. They are
    faithful companions and often used as seeing-eye dogs for the blind.
    They love the outdoors (i.e. they are not a sissy indoor dog like
    poodles), they are excellent hunting dogs, and have strong enough jaws
    to chew through steel, aluminum, shoes, sheetrock, and lawn mower spark
    plug wires.
    
    
>>A malamute, a husky, or a samoyed is a better dog.  AFter all, how
>>many Westminster Championships has the Golden Retriever won?
    
    All three of those dogs are stubborn, and dumb as stones. They don't
    even know how to bark. Also, the shed so much, they must be on drugs.
    
    JoJ

    RE: Valentine's Day Essay
    
    Your essays have taken a cynical turn.  Are the long winter nights
    getting to you ?  Geez, you seem to have found phallic symbols in most 
    holidays.
    
    Just an observation (It was damn funny)
    -Paul
    
    PS: You forgot Arbor Day (planting seeds), Veterans day (aka Arm-is-tiff
    Day),  Easter (resurrection), Hanukkah (candles) and Dyngus Day
    (getting wipped by pussy-willows, ya have to be Polish for this one).

    Re: dogs
    
    I heard REK's wife got him one for Valentine's day ;-)

    
    Labrador 'treivers rool!
    
    Ol' Zeke likes the ducks, and when I miss (often), he gives me this
    look kinda like, "Look, pal, why dontcha just hand me the frikken gun
    and let me try."
    
    Which reminds me of the bit in the cartoon where the dog claims to be a
    Labrador Retreiver, and Porky or Elmer ask him to prove it, and the dog
    says, "Then get me a Labrador and I'll retreive it.  Ya happen to have
    a Labrador?  Ya know where ya can get a Labrador?  THEN SHADDUP!!"
    
    Dickstah
    

JimWa --

Never said I didn't like retrievers.  Actually, I do like goldens.
But I'm a stubborn cuss, and the dogs I mentioned and I would get
along famously.

Never met a more stubborn animal than my wolf.  He pretty much does
what he wants when he wants to, but we have a great understanding,
and he's VERY loyal.

In participating in some Dog Obedience classes, I found German
Shepherds to be the quickest learners.  Goldens are not dumb,
as I may have implied, but they are somewhat hyper and demand
a little more work.

Great dog with kids, because while they have strong jaws as you
said, they also have a "soft mouth".

I like Collies and Shelties also.

JimWa, I'll bet you have a Golden at him, right?  Well, if you're gonna
have some more rug rats, get a collie too.  The retriever will go get
your kids if they get lost or far away, and when they're around, the
collie will herd them for you and keep them together.....8^)

"Workin' at the YMCA!"

'Saw

Paul --

Regarding my essay, I don't feel I've become cynical, rather, I was
more or less doing the work on commission.

If you look at the works of the late Aaron Copland, I have found that
in most cases I can pick out the pieces he did on commission, as opposed
to the ones that he composed from inspiration.

Valentine's Day is a minor holiday, one full of mirth and loving.
A humorous approach, highlighting the sexual, was the first thing that
came to mind after the call for an essay came out.

The holidays that touch me deep down, in an emotional and intellectual
sense are those holidays that help me produce my best essays.

Someday, maybe I'll collect all of my SPORTS essays, spruce them up,
and publish them in a volume with a witty title.

Your SPORTS essayist,
'Saw

    
    Re: The Sports Essayist
    
    Wait till you get 365 of 'em (plus an additional leap day essay), and
    get yourself rich with the "Chainsaw Essay-A-Day Desk Calander."
    
    You could also put out a "Monthly Minder" type calendar celebrating
    National Avacado Month or Frozen Food Month.  The weekly version could
    celebrate Dairy Week, Secretaries Week, Etc.  The possibilities are
    endless.
    
    Oh, and after you're rich, don't forget where the idea came from. 8^)
    
    Dickstah
    

    
    Same here, Hawk.  Didn't get away with it, either...
    
    glenn
    

 Hawk,
 
 Better check your phone logs to see if the missus has made any calls to
 Arnold Becker this morning.
 
 Wow, you have stones of steel, brother.   I wimped out and got her a card
 and a pint of Haagen-Dazs on the way home last night.
 
 Bob Hunt

    Imagine the look on my face when I asked my wife as she came home from
    work yesterday, "Where's the flowers I sent to your work?"  
    
    I got a very sobering, "What flowers?
    
    It took some real quick talking to convince her that I really did order
    them.  I talked to the florist this morning.  Convinced them that my
    wife's divorce lawyer would be in contact with them.  They found their
    mistake and promised to deliver them today for nothing.
    
    Wow, free flowers, back in good graces with the wife, I think I'm 
    beginning to like this holiday.

    re .460 (Hawk), great p_name (yeah, I remember Maximus Super).
    
    re 'Saw several back, how is that Harry Connick Jr. CD?  I'm thinking
    of picking it up myself...
    
    
    py (who'll admit to doing the whole nine yards, including flowers,
    candy, and cooking dinner last night for which we got out the china
    and candlelight)

>    re 'Saw several back, how is that Harry Connick Jr. CD?  I'm thinking
>    of picking it up myself...
 
I got it for Christmas and I've just about worn it out.  Real nice.  

 They love it Saw even if taste bad cause they didn't have to do it....
 When PMS strikes they can just say hey you know how cook get you own
 supper you @#$%$##

Valentines Day was Flowers and cards and dinner and stuff.... and `Saw
STILL makes his version sound like more fun!!! Don't forget to use
Armorall on her, and she'll give you years of loyal service!

Mike JN

    It certainly isn't C&W...
    
    

    I did the whole bit, too.  Flowers, fancy card, an "I Love You" balloon
    at work, a Valentine's message in the local paper, and cooked supper.
    
    What she really liked, though, was my poem to her.
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    "I love you so much, my b*lls ache!"  :*)
    
    lEe

    Hey 'Saw -
    
    When you got that blow-up Dolly -- did the store have any brothers
    for her?
    
    A&W

    No Kawk, Bills ache.... He's got to pay for all that stuff!!!
    
    REK

    Re:  Yellow Ribbons and their orgin.
    
    Their orgin can be traced to the Civil War, when returning POW's
    requested that their  sweethearts display a symbol to let them know if
    they wanted them back or not.  THe yellow ribbon became the symbol of
    choice.   Later, John Ford's epic "She Wore a Yellow Ribbon", starring
    John Wayne, helped romanticize the yellow ribbon.  The ribbon was worn
    by women at an outpost, to show they had a honey in the calvery (ribbon
    was worn when the trooper was away from the fort on patrol).
    
    The song, popularized in the movie, went like this:
    
    "Around her neck, she wore a yellow ribbon
    She wore in her hair and in the merry month of may
    Around her neck, she wore a yellow ribbon
    She wore it for her sweetheart in the US Calvery
    Calvery! CALVERY! Calvery! CALVERY!
    She wore it for her sweetheart in the US Calvery"
    
    The song had numerous verses.  
    
    HTH  
    
    JD
    
    
    
    
    
                                                      

    Do you mean Cavalry? Or was the song supposed to be satirical?

    Harry Connick got nationwide fame for performing the soundtrack to the
    movie "When Harry met Sally".  Included in here were 2 versions of "It
    had to be You", "Our Love is here to Stay", "Winter Wonderland",
    "Stompin at the Savoy", "Lets Call the Whole Thing Off" and so on. 
    He's from New Orleans and is a jazz singer of some note.  Sounds a lot
    like a young Sinatra, but with a deeper voice.  If you saw the movie
    Memphis Belle, he was the tail gunner (operating the machine gun in the
    rear of the aircraft and not what some of youse dirty minds may think)
    and got up on stage and sang "Danny Boy" during a party at the base. 
    Connick has released 5 records/tapes/CDs that I know of.  I have all of
    them.
    
    John

    Well, being the firsted Valentine's Day as a Married Man, I sort of
    went the whole nine yards:  Flowers, Candy, Balloons, a present and out
    for dinner.  Only mistake is I bought the present in the wrong size -
    hey, why doesn't women's stuff just come in S, M, L etc., like guys
    stuff.  Who knows what a 3, 4, 10 is???  Geez...
    
    But it was worth it - I got 2 of the Bullwinkle tapes!!! TOO FREAKING
    COOL!  I've been a Bullwinkle fanatic since I was a kid.  What a great
    gift.  Well worth it.
    
    JD

I'm no Harry Connick Jr, but I do a version of Danny Boy that makes
women melt, and brings a tear to otherwise smilin' Irish eyes....


Connick is GREAT.  It's Jazz, but you could also call it standards as you
would with Frank Sinatra stuff.  It's the kind of stuff I'll sing
if there's a piano in the bar and I've had a beer or two...


JD, the easiest way to make sure you get the right size, is to put
your arms around your wife.  When you go to the store, you walk
up to the sales girl and when she asks you what size, you say
about like this, and imagine you're putting your arms around your
wife.  If the sales girl is hot, I'd actually put my arms around her ;^)


A&W, I believe Dolly had a brother named Derek, but I forget what it
costs.  

Deluxe Derek had interchangeable, uh, er, uh...shall we say "drill bits"...

'Saw

lEe... you romantic son of a duck! GO for it!!

Did Hawk change his name to Kawk?

Re: yellow Ribbons: a la Tony Orlando and Dumb

EVERYBODY!
Stupid smile on your faces now.... lotta teeth. Bend your knees.
Now... put your hands out in front of you like one of those mimes from
hell..... and when you sing, sorta rock from side to side like Ray
Charles....

OKAY! ALL TOGETHER NOW:

	TIE A YEL LOW RI BUN ROUN THE OLE OAK TREE
	YOU BE GAG GIN ME, GOT TA TAKE A P

and so on... 

Mike JN

 Hawk the stuff by Metheny is what's know as fusion jazz real spacey. I have
 the same CD and rarely listen to it. If you like the sax I suggest you pick
 up The Original recording of the Bird - Charlie Parker. A truly gifted musician
 who died much too you 38 years old I believe. He'll amaze you. Also Dave
 Brubeck has some excellent stuff out as well. I also can highly recommend
 Bradford Maselis (I'll have to check the spelling) for a more traditional
 jazz sound. 

 Has Rashan Roland Kirk's music even been put on CD's? Can anyone answer?

 If you want Hawk send me some mail and I could probably save you some bucks
 and make you some tapes of the jazz CD's I do have. 

 mike another jazz lover

JD,

	And she really believed those were BALLOONS!?!?!?!

HUH!

Re: Jazz
	
	If you like Instrumental, try some of the early Jazz Crusaders.

Mike JN

Rashan Roland Kirk is EXCELLENT.  I have an old tape he did with
a guys named Al Hibbard (I think) on vocals... too cool.

Tom Scott is excellent.  I first heard him on the briefcase full of
blues album by the Blues Brothers.  They took some bitchin' cool
studio musicians for their backup:

	Steve Cropper (guitar), Duck Dunn (bass) both use to play
		behind Otis Redding

	Tom Scott, Tom Malone, Alan Rubin, Lou Marini -- the horn section

	Paul Schaeffer on piano, Matt "Guitar" Murphy on lead guitar...

Great stuff.


Branford Marsalis is on the Connick Jr album.


I met Dave Bruebeck once.  Very, very nice guy.  The late Paul Desmond
was has sax player.  Gotta love Blue Rondo a la Turk.....

'Saw

	1/7/91 - During the Dublin House performance of the oper-
		 etta H.M.S. Pinafore, actor John Devlin suddenly stop-
		 ped as he was singing "I Am the Ruler of the Queen's
		 Navee."  The orchestra stopped also, and the audience
		 heard Devlin mutter, "Oh, dash this, I'm going home."
		 Devlin then climbed off the stage and walked out of
		 the theater, taking off his admiral's uniform as he
		 went.  Devlin later said he was considering some ot-
		 her field of work, perhaps with Digital Equipment
		 Corporation.

    
>	1/12/91- Dockworker John Kelly tried to fly across the River
>		 Boyne in County Louth, Ireland, by jumping from a
>		 high ramp with 2 turkeys strapped to his arms.  After
>		 falling into the river, Kelly said he would try again
>		 using 4 turkeys.


Does this remind anyone of that episode of WKRP where they dropped
turkeys out of a plane at a mall, to celebrate thanksgiving?

Turkeys don't fly, and Les Nessman was "calling it" live, saying how
the Turkeys were hitting the ground like sacks of wet cement.....

It's gotta be friday!

	"As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly!"

	Mr.Carlson, GM WKRP

	Probably the funniest WKRP episode ever.

	Mike

For some reason, that reminds me of the story of the former Airborne
dude, who, every year would dress up like Santa Claus, and parachute
down into the Mall Parking lot, wave to the kids, then go in and sit on
his throne, so the kids could sit on his lap and tell him their wishes.

One year the wind was gusting, and a panel split on his chute, so he's
getting blown farther and farther off course.

The local dispatcher is keeping everyone informed so the local
constabulary was doing it's best to follow him on the ground, so they
could get him back to the mall when he landed.

So he gets blown over into the ghetto, lands safely, gets his ride to
the mall.... and never again played Santa Claus parachuting into the
mall.

He said he never could get it out of his mind.
All those little Black kids.
And the look on their faces...
	The day Santa Claus fell outa the sky... and the cops picked him
	up and took him away!

Mike JN

    I just finished my first demo tape.  Jimi would be proud ;-)

>>Oh, you romantic you.  One of the smartest things I ever learned to
>>do was have a couple of recipes I can whip off fairly easily.  Wimmins
>>just love it when you cook for them -- don't know why, but hey, if it
>>works, don' question it!

Geez, what a bunch of sexists!  Ann cooked for me once.  It was that romantic
first date dinner.  The cooking sucked but she looked cute enough in the apron
that I went out with here again ;-).  Since then, I've cooked all the meals,
although I just called home and found out that she's making a nice romantic
dinner for me tonight.  God help my kitchen ;-).

j.

    Jeff,
    
    Hahahahah,  I do most of the cooking - by choice.  I love ta cook, and
    while Nancy is a pretty darn good cook, I like my cooking better...
    
    And women love a guy who cain cook real meals...
    
    JD

>>    And women love a guy who cain cook real meals...

It's "paid off" for me more than once.  And a chicken breast is a damn sight
cheaper than flowers and a restaurant.  And it saves on that awkward invitation
back to your place afterward ;-).

Marry me, Kawk ;0).

I used to be able to cook when I was a bachelor. But since I've been married
I probably cook 3-4 meals a year (other than bar-b-q). My wife's too darn good
a cook to have me floundering away. I'm great at washing dishes though.


I think bar-b-q-ing is genetically passed on from male to male. Guys look so 
darn proud standing in front of a grill with a set of tongs in one hand and
a spatula in the other beaming down on some burgers like they are filet mignon.

I've always though that a comedian could do a whole section of their act on
men barbequeing.

Anybody got Jerry Seinfeld's phone # ?


Metz

    Metz,
    
    You are so right about the barby.  Barby's are a man's domain.  My wife
    hates to barbque - while to me it's a ritual, from the proper warming
    up period, to making the barbque sauce, to standing there with the
    thongs and a brewski watching them burgers sizzle.  And the fact that
    in the summer I can watch the girls walk by while I barby (being right
    across from the beach) makes it that much better...
    
    JD

    
    True confessions:  I love to cook, and I'm good at it.  The wife's
    pretty good too, it's just that I'm better.  She *makes* dinner, I
    *create* dinner.  She considers it a necessary chore, I find puttering
    around the kitchen to be relaxing and therapeutic.
    
    The secret is to take a cursory glance at a recipe, then modify it with
    things that *you* think would taste better.  I like to figure out
    what's is a restaurant meal, then either try to duplicate it at home or
    even improve it.
    
    TGIF.  And I'm hungry.
    
    Dickstah
    

    There are loads of excellent male  cooks  out there.  Look at  all  the 
    great chefs!  My forte is the b-b-q though.
    
oh, in  keeping with the topic...
    
From a USEnet mailing I was forwarded: 
 
when i was interviewing at sco last week, they told me that their
customer service line had received a call from a US Army dude who
was calling from inside his M1 tank in the Saudi desert.  apparently,
SCO Unix runs on one of the computers in the tank.  the customer
service person pointed him to the SCO BBS system and he dialed it
and downloaded the bug fix.
 
Ain't technology grand?

    >	Dolly:	Okay.  But first you have to do the |CENSORED|s Strip
    >		Tease for me...  Go put on those Dockers I brought,
    >		and play that Village People song "Macho Man"...

    Gee, I thought she would have gone for Issac Hayes....
    
    
    He's a complicated man, but no one understands him but his Dolly...
    
    Chainsaw....
    
    

    Tower of Power has some older CD's out and some new ones.  I've got
    the live one, and it's about 35 minutes or so, but it has "Still
    a Young Man", and "What is Hip" on there, so I was happy..
    
    No LA Law news?  Was there really a judge Lobel on last night?

 LA Law was decent last night.   
 
 CJ represented a white mom who was involved in a custody hearing for her
 half-breed baby son in a special Navajo Indian court against her Navajo
 ex-husband.   This was one of those gut-wrenching, wisdom of Solomon type
 cases.  The father wanted the boy to preserve Navajo culture but the mom
 just wanted her son.   The Navajo judge sided with the mom but you could
 see the pain in his eyes.
 
 Jonathan Rollins was roughed up by the cops on suspiscion of rape and the
 DA was trying to railroad a misdemeanor charge for resisting arrest
 against him.  Jonathan didn't want to do it and Victor was helping him
 fight it.  There seemed no way out until Tommy went to his ex-wife, an
 Asst DA, and asked her to help.   At his pre-trial hearing, Tommy's ex
 stepped forward and told the judge that the DA was getting back at
 Jonathan for the case a few weeks/months ago when the white cop shot a
 black boy.
 
 The DA loudly protested but the judge released Jonathan and locked up the
 DA instead.  Tommy's ex is now scared to death since the DA would
 obviously come after her if he gets away from the obstruction of justice
 charge on him.
 
 Arnie begged Roxanne to rejoin him but she turned him down.  He rehired
 Gwen, the one he slept with the week before he got married last year. 
 Arnie was giving a hard time to this young rich couple who wanted a
 pre-nup agreement.  The guy was going to take his lucrative business
 elsewhere until Gwen pointed out to him that Becker is a low-life who
 can't tell him about relationships but can advise him on what happens when
 one falls apart.  Becker is pissed but the client stays.
 
 What else was there ???
 
 Bob Hunt

    I liked the beginning when Douggie was on the cover of the Enquirer
    because Vanna dumped him for her hubby.  As soon as Jonathan was
    running down the street, you knew what was coming...
    
    Jonathan called Victor that night, but he wasn't home.  Wonder where
    he was... hmmmmmm......
    
    I think you covered everything else...

    Actually the sequence where Dougie was talking to Ann about sueing the
    inquirer was pretty funny. I roooollleeeeddd when they came to the "His
    bald haid blinds me" part. 

>>  <<< Note 73.506 by CSC32::J_HERNANDEZ "Titles And Acquisitions Surveyer" >>>

>>   "His  bald haid blinds me" part. 

    Hey, I resemble that remark!!!!!!
    
    
    JaKe
    
    

 
" I'm an independent contactor who solicts funds and investments in an open
 air environment"... I was roooooooolllllliiiiiinnnnngggggggg!!! what a great
 description for Antione...hahahaaa

 Hawk you might be right though about Kennan flying away from the show though
 as last night he wasn't there to close it up. He was in some scetches but they
 could have been taped earlier.

 mike

    re the notes on Tower of Power:
    
    nit in .508, the name of the song is actually "So Very Hard to
    Go"....glad to hear that "Live and In Living Color" is on CD,
    my cassette tape of that broke a couple weeks ago.
    
    I have a CD reissue of the direct-to-disc album (Tower of Power Direct)
    they did in the late 70s-early 80s....only about a half hour of music on 
    it, but excellent sonics....
    
    
    py

>    nit in .508, the name of the song is actually "So Very Hard to
>    Go"....glad to hear that "Live and In Living Color" is on CD,
>    my cassette tape of that broke a couple weeks ago.
    

Marry, corrected I stand!

I knew it wasn't quite right, but the caffeine hadn't impacted the
synaptic connectors in my brain yet.....8^)

'Saw

I was amazed to find so many dudes that like to cook. I've been cooking
for years and years. The wife and I do about 50/50 of the general
cooking around the house, but I do about 100% when guests are invited.
Probably for the same reason others mentioned, I like cooking and she
doesn't. 

Dickster's comment reminded me of my neighbor coming over to get some
pointers from  me... his wife had been giving him a razzing because he
couldn't find a pot... let alone cook anything in it... so he decided to
cook a meal... and it tasted like crap. He couldn't figure it out, but
he knew I cooked a lot of stuff (I make homemade sausage, and pasta and
a lot of other things people never expect, too).

Sure enough... he had followed the recipe exactly. And like Dick was
saying, once you've been at it for awhile, you find out that the people
who write up recipes can be incredible dildos. You have to look through
and figure out what makes sense and what doesn't.

The latest fad in recipes (well, for about the last year or so) is to
call for Cilantro in practically everything. Now Cilantro is the leaf
part of the plant... and the root part is where you get Coriander.
Coriander is great. I use it in Chili, making Bratwurst, Spaghetti...
lots of things. So I figured that Cilantro would be an equally good
spice. WRONG!  I got some, and as per usual, I tasted it before I put it
in anything. YECCHHH! It tastes like SOAP! 

So I figured... Well, I don't know everything... maybe it changes when
cooked, or doesn't taste that way *IN* something. Wrong again. If you
use enough, the dish tastes like soap, and if you use just a little bit,
you can't taste it. I can't figure out what everybody likes about this
crap so much.... like I said... I think it's just one of those fads.
I've  been successfully leaving it out of any recipes that call for it,
or substituting something I think will work better. Hell, even parsley
flakes are better than Cilantro!

Mike JN

    Having been a single parent for 13 years, I learned to cook.  I did
    have a few of Mom's recipes, like her French pork stuffing for turkey,
    and toll-house cookies, but the rest I learned by myself.
    
    I ended up making a damn good spaghetti sauce, one that never quite
    tasted the same from batch to batch, cause I'd always experiment a
    little.  But, the kids loved it, and so did I.
    
    Then, I got remarried.  Ginnie is a GREAT cook, so I've backed off from
    the stove.  I do cook about once a week to give her a break.  We differ
    on two major cooking things:  I concentrate on tenderness, she is more
    into flavoring.  Like, my steaks will melt in your mouth, and taste
    like steak.  Her's are a little more chewy, but have more flavor to
    them.
    
    I, too, run the barby.  My all-time favorite, and her's and the kids,
    is when I do steak-tips.  I alternate a slice of onion, meat,
    pepper,meat,onion, etc.  We usually have rice pilaf with this.  The
    trick I use for tenderness is my double-burner BB.  I get one side
    really hot, then turn it off and turn on the other side.  I put the
    meat on the hot side and sear it.  But, no burning, cause there's no
    flame.  Then, when the other side is hot, change it over and sear
    another side of the meat.  Four times and all is seared.  Now, I leave
    the meat on the non-heated side and close the top.  With the other side
    cranked up for max heat, the tips get cooked in about 10 minutes, juicy
    because the outside is seared and the juices stay in, tender because of
    the slow cooking time, no smoke cause the grease drips into the cooler
    side.
    
    The only time I screwed this up was before I got married, and my 
    neighbor's wife was doing some gardening while wearing shorts and 
    a halter top! :*)
    
    Mainly, I bake now, rather than cook.  I make a mean Red Velvet Pie!
    
    lEe

>I've  been successfully leaving it out of any recipes that call for it,
>or substituting something I think will work better. Hell, even parsley
>flakes are better than Cilantro!
    
    My wife and I found this great recipe for a salsa that called for
    cilantro.  Well, me not knowing what it was, bought parsley when I 
    did the shopping for the recipe.  It turned out great!!  Afterwards
    somebody asked me for the recipe.  I gave it to them with the qualifier
    that we used parsley instead of cilantro.  The person said, "Ecchh
    cilantro would have made it too bitter".  Methinks my ignorance made
    for good luck.
    
    My wife and I both love to cook.  We very seldom work on the same dish. 
    We get in each other's way too much.  So when we are making one of
    humdinger meals, we split up what each of us will prepare then hop to
    it.  Usually works out great.
    

Probably the best investment I ever made was the Fannie Farmer Cookbook.
I mean, if you have that you can't screw up.  It's really good at
explaining, and it gives you a lot of REALLY basic type recipes.

I've got a few other cookbooks, including a couple by Jeff "Mike JN" Smith.

I like to bake also -- cookies, banana bread, corn bread, stuff like that.

One thing that really comes in handy for that is a food processor.  Saves
me tons of time, and makes everything so easy to do....

I also love my WOK.  I'm tellin' ya, even the most moronic cook can use
a wok and get good results....me, I get GREAT results ;^)  Easy to
clean up too....

oh well, almost lunch time and I'm wicked hungry now!

'Saw

    Wok cooing is the BEST! Just ask me.. a little soy, Hoison, brown
    sugar, garlic and fresh ginger root..... And just add any veggies
    and meat or seafood... YUP!
    
    REK
    
    Southern Living has an annual cookbook that we always buy...

    Re: cilantro
    
    what a bunch of wusses!  You cain't make REAL Mexican food without
    cilantro!
    
    now that we know who cooks, who does the grocery shopping?  Why do I
    have this feeling that Mr. T is gonna feast on this ;-)
    
    Mike

>So I figured that Cilantro would be an equally good
>spice. WRONG!  I got some, and as per usual, I tasted it before I put it
>in anything. YECCHHH! It tastes like SOAP! 
 
    I've read that about 20% of the population is allergic to
    Cilantro...to them it tastes like, yes, soap!  COunt yourself among the
    phew.
    
    Also, I think Coriander is dried Cilantro, not the stems of the same
    plant.
    
    FOrmer Assistant Chef, Dan

Oh, and to answer the other question, I do all my own shopping.
Kind of a_occupational hazard of being single.....

My folks help out in a way sometimes.  They tend to pick up beef in 
bulk by going directly to a nearby meat-packing place, so when they
pick up an order,  I'll have them pick up some stuff for me.  Get great
ribeyes and NY Strips that way.  They do the same with chicken too....

The rest, I'm on my own. 

'Saw

PS  Sure beat eating McDonald's or Burger King every night...

    One of the best lines I ever used had to do with cooking...well, kind
    of.  I was on vacation in Florida a few years back and was talking to
    this Orlando lovely who had come to the beach for the weekend.  We were
    at this club and were getting around to talking about post-club
    "activity."  
    
    I told her I would make breakfast for us in the morning.  This kind of
    intrigued her but she wasn't sold on it...until I added, "Yeah, I make
    the best Cap'n Crunch you've ever had."
    
    Worked like a charm.
    
    	--dan'l

    Dan's Whopper Dome,
    
    
    
    40 Million Served
    
    
    
    30 Million Eaten
    
    
    
    12 Million Digested
    
    
    many ;^)
    
    Kev
    

No, Dan worked in a honest to God high class restaurant with the
Psycho Chef from Hell....

I got the biggest kick outta the butts though.....;^)

'Saw

Mac's right, Coriander is the seeds of the plant, not the root (as I
said earlier).

What's fun is go shopping when you're hungry. Go drinking and dancing
Friday night (no eating), get up Saturday, drink LOTS of water (or
koolaid, or lemonaid, or gatoraid...something WET, for gods sakes!) and
then go grocery shopping.

I end up with the most amazing stuff! Weeks later I'll be running across
food that I can't imagine why I EVER thought I'd be hungry for it.

Mike JN

PS  You talking about Pork Butts?

Well WHATEVER! ;'D

I'll read the darned bottle.... I think it's seeds, or ground seeds. All
I know is, I use Coriander which is good... and from the same plant
comes Cilantro, which I don't use, because the damned stuff tastes like
SOAP!!


Next, I think we should get Kwak to give us a lesson on Paprika. I use
different kinds, but I have a great recipe for Hungarian Sausage.... and
in that I use the real Hungarian Paprika.

Mike JN

    I'm surprise on one has mention the basketball shot of the year if not
    the decade. Watching last night's Channel 56 Weenend sports7 wonders
    of the week they show a tape of a women's college game.. I'll try
    and explain the best that I can
    
    At the left end of the basketball court.. 5 on 5... the point guard
    starts going to her right... She dribbles the ball of her foot...
    She is beyond the 3 point line and about 30 feet from the endline..
    As the ball heads out of bound she takes the ball and throws it behind
    her back in bounds... NOTHING BUT NET!!! SHe is heading out of bounds
    with her back to the floor and does a underhand backward scoop shot...
    
    The most amazing shot I have ever seen... Did any one else see it???
    
    REK
    

Yup...simply amazing.....It made the national soprts highlights....

falling out of bounds back to the basket underhand scoop throw to try and keep
the ball inbounds nothing but net shot !!!!!!!

That and some guy tossing a 2 hand push shot from half court to win a car....


Metz

    I'll agree with Mike Heiser - you caint cook Mexican wifout cilantro.
    There's also a few dandy chinese recipes wif cilantro that I cook.
    Stuff's great.  As for grocery shopping - I do it all, if the wife does
    it or comes with me, we end up buying too much stuff and spending too
    much money.  ONly thing she buys are household items like cleaning
    stuff - I always fergit that stuff.  Also, grocery shopping is
    something I've enjoyed for  a long time - one of the best places to go
    looking at Titles and Acquisitions.  You get the whole spectrum, from
    rosey-cheeked high schoolers to sexy older ladies.  Caint touch that.
    
    I usually take stock in the types of ladies around.  IN the summer,
    when loose fitting clothes (and not many of em) are the norm, I dawdle
    near the frozen foods.  IN the colder months, I find the canned goods
    and fresh meat sections to be the best.  At all times of the year,
    produce and the flower section are well stocked.  
    
    JD

 Take your five-year old daughter grocery shopping every Saturday with you
 and you will have more laughs than you know what to do with.
 
 And the Southern belles behind the cash register shore cain tahlk sweetly
 now, ya heah ???
 
 Bob Hunt

Rollin JD!  And it's true. You can meet some incredible babes in
supermarkets. A friend of mine loves to come along when I go shopping,
because I talk to EVERYBODY!

When I moved to Castle Rock, he had already been there four years, and
didn't know hardly anybody. Within a few weeks, I knew half the people
in the town and was introducing him to `new friends' all over the place.

Mike JN `Trying to work through this intoverted stage'

Yeah.  I saw that shot.  Simply UNREAL....

JD....Produce, produce, produce!!!!  BEST place...near the zucchini!


'Saw

>>    Ooops, I meant to say that ther'll probably be a wedding in my family
>>    in the next year or 2...

Pass on my congratulations to your youngest daughter for me, will you Kwak?

j.

    How 'bout dem Broons?
    
    Mark.

My wife's folks are old world Slovaks.  And that's where I started
picking up the `traditions': Sausage making, pasta making, Potica
(pronounced po-teet'-suh) a pastry/bread with lots of butter, cinnamon,
walnuts, etc., swirls in it.

If I remember, I'll post an easy recipe for Hungarian sausage. I have a
huge sausage stuffer (no wise cracks) I use so it's in casings, but you
can make it bulk, which is fast, easy, and tastes the same.

Mike JN

    Yeah.  Chicken, steamed veggies and oatmeal cookies.  If it takes
    longer than 30 minutes to prepare, I ain't interested.

YOu know, ever since you guys started that Kwak thing, it's been 
bugging me.  I know I'd seen it before -- somewhere, sometime.

Then it hit me.  Sitting on my desk I have one of those cardboard
coasters you get at a bar -- you know, they put your beer on it
at the bar?

Well, this one shows a half yard of beer, a nice dark amber beer with
a good head on it, in a half-yard stand.  The beer is Belgian...

The name of the beer is (you guessed it) Kwak!

Ain't that something.....

'Saw

We'll have to call it the `Official SPORTS Recipe' Note; and only put in
recipes that have something to do with Sports.... like:

....... uh... I think Willy Mays ate this stuff once.

Mike JN

Well, I'm still gonna try to make some haggis sometime.  If I can
find a_authentic recipe I'll put it in...  And I'll just say that
some ruggers ate it once ;^)

'Saw

    I have a_official recipe for haggis.... you sure you want it?  Yuck.

A) Hagar the horrible Comic Strip.... the Duck's name is Kvack!

B) Haggis:

I've never tasted it, but my Grandfather was a Scotsman, and he informed
me that he'd rather eat pondscum.

I know the beginning of the recipe goes:

First.... get a goat's stomach.

Mike JN

    
> A) Hagar the horrible Comic Strip.... the Duck's name is Kvack!
    
    Long time ago my mom worked for a doctor named Kwak.  Being an MD, the
    name took on a whole new humorous meaning...
    
    glenn
    

    ...One of my favorite pastries was this thing made with *real* poppy seeds. 
    
    I'm Polish, and my Grandma used to make the same thing.  I think she
    called it "mach".  It had a poppy seed paste and it was rolled to for a 
    spiral.

>    How 'bout dem Broons?
>    
>    Mark.

	Who the hell is this guy?  ;^)  

	Claybroon

    I think he wears Dockers!!!
    
    A close, personal friend of Kwak's 8^)
    
    

    
       I always thought that haggis was stuffed sheep's intestine and
    that the piping in of the haggis occured mainly on Robbie Burns Night.
    
    MacBull~
    
    

>       I always thought that haggis was stuffed sheep's intestine and
>    that the piping in of the haggis occured mainly on Robbie Burns Night.


From what I know you take the stomach, and the lungs, kidney, and liver,
and you grind up the lungs, kidney and liver, add some spices and mix
it with oatmeal.  All of this gets put into the stomach, which is tied
up and poked with holes to let the steam escape, then it's cooked.

It's washed down with scotch whisky.

Haggis was the subject of a very funny sketch on SNL years ago, when
Jane Curtin (I think) and someone else went to a Scottish restaurant.
Instead of having water before the meal they had to have ale, and they
had to drink scotch with the meal.  The mean, naturally was 
'aggis an' ootcakes.....

Pretty funny....

's
    
    

Kwak --

You're right about some thing in 'merica not being the same.  When
I went to Germany I found that the food there was phenomenally good,
mainly because (I think) it wasn't processed like ours is.

I found that eating in a restaurant reminded me of Sunday dinners
at my house -- good home cooking.

You know my Mom's side of the family is Hungarian (although the name
was Norwegian and my grandmother spoke only German -- well english too).
So the food was alway pretty interesting...

'Saw

    
    	Aw Kwak, we all know your idea of *champagne* is Thunderbird
    	wine with a little 7UP mixed in!  :*)
    
    	Claybroon

    Ohhhhhhhhhhh!
    
    
    I'm scared!!! 8^)
    
    Although I'd like to see this Hungarian gypsy curse ritual entails?
    Perhaps burning dockers?? ;-)

I'll say one word:



Thinner.

    
    >::CHILDS "this house sure gone crazy" >>>
                             
    Ahhhh....from one of my all-time favorites, "A-plumbing we will go."
    
    Did you ever notice that they did a remake of this one with Shemp, and
    they re-used  some of the original footage?
    
    Dickstah
    

 Yeah Dickstah I've noticed. I remeber the first time I saw it some 30 years
 ago cause I totally lost when Larry stuck his head up out in the yard. hahahaa

 

The Three Stooges, Laurel and Hardy, Charlie Chaplin, and Buster Keaton
were probably the seminal influences on American comedy.

The Three Stooges were classic, simply classic slapstick routines.
The affect they have had on American society is simply amazing.

"Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk" is a phrase that every American knows.  
"Oh, a wise guy, eh" is another....

Unfortunately, the last time they had a Three Stooges marathon, I
was not able to tape it.  Bummer.

Never mind "Bo Knows".....it's "Moe Knows" now....

'Saw

    
    The Three Stooges contain some of the most racist stuff probably still
    commonly shown on television, and I don't believe that it was done
    tongue-in-cheek like with the Buckwheat character on Our Gang (where
    Buckwheat had more sense than any of 'em), either.  No offense to 
    anyone who enjoys the program, but that's a fack...
    
    glenn
    

 Charlie Chaplin was years ahead of his time, no doubt.  Except where voice
 was concerned.  He stubbornly resisted the "talkies" for a very long time.  
 But the subtleties and exquisite split-second timing of his work are
 astonishing.  Plus he created a character, "The Little Tramp", that was
 recognized by nearly human being on the face of the planet.  Still is.
 
 Buster Keaton was incredible.  He puts the "physical comics" of today
 like, oh say, Chevy Chase, to red-faced shame.   Plus the absolutely
 deadpan facial expressions as he goes through these amazing physical
 scenes.   What a panic.   "The General" is one of the all-time classic
 films.   Harold Lloyd was a Keaton clone and a very good one.  He had the
 bespectacled wimp look but he got himself in some physically dangerous
 spots that had you just rolling.
 
 Stan Laurel was a genius.  Watch Dick Van Dyke sometime if you want to see
 who influenced him the most.
 
 I grew up on The Little Rascals and The Three Stooges.  
 
 My favorite Rascals scene was where Buckwheat was sitting sadly on a
 street curbside and was praying to the Lord to just send him $5.00 so he
 could get Petey out of the dog pound.   A couple of streets over, an adult
 was madcap scuffling with the rest of the gang and his money and his
 things went flying.   Soon a $5.00 bill gently floated in front of
 Buckwheat's feet and he smiled and said ... 'Lord, now that's what I call
 *service*!" and off he ran to spring Petey.
 
 And the things Alfalfa got himself into where hilarious.  Singing with
 soap bubbles coming out of his mouth and so on ...
 
 Ah, the good ol' days ...
 
 Bob Hunt

>    The Three Stooges contain some of the most racist stuff probably still
>    commonly shown on television, and I don't believe that it was done
>    tongue-in-cheek like with the Buckwheat character on Our Gang (where
>    Buckwheat had more sense than any of 'em), either.  No offense to 
>   anyone who enjoys the program, but that's a fack...

Probably quite right, Glenn.

While there's never any excuse for racism, you have to look at things
during the time period which they're produced.  For example, I've
heard people say that Huck Finn is racist.  But if you look at
the time period in which it was produced, it makes more sense.

When the Stooges flicks were produced that was a very common thing.

I don't think it detracts from their comedic ability however....


re Bob Hunt:

Amen.  


'Saw    

    
    >    The Three Stooges contain some of the most racist stuff
    
    Off the top of my head, I can't think of any other episodes other than
    those already mentioned that contained minorities.  I believe there is
    a scene in "Uncivil Warriors" where Moe is holding "Curley's" baby
    while being questioned for spying, and the baby is black.  For the life
    of me, I'll swear there is another version out there where the "baby"
    is a pig.  Can anyone else corrorborate this?
    
    Probably the most racist stuff still on are some of those old Toons
    that TNT has on every night.
    
    (not ratholing either, but further comments on Stooges and toons should
    really go in the JUNK note.  Wanna meet there?)
    
    Dickstah
    

    
    re: the stooges
    
    	The stooges did foster racist sterotypes, but that was common of
    all Hollywood at the time.  Whether the Stooges themselves were racist
    is another matter.
    
    	Some of the sterotypes have been mentioned, but there are others.
    
    	How about when they were plumbers and hooked up the water to the
    electrical.  In the kitchen we saw a black cook and when he turned on
    the gas stove, water came out.  His facial expressions were pretty
    exagerated which was in step with the majority of film in that era.
    
    	Another example was during the war years where they overly
    exagerated not only the facial features, but also the mannerisms of
    the Japanese.  Granted, we were at war, but it still portrayed a
    ethnic sterotype.
    
    							bill..g.
    

This recipe is for a small amount, which can be formed into patties, and
eaten like hamburgers.

RE: the ground pork - it shouldn't be too fatty. If it looks too fatty,
use two lbs of ground pork, and one lb of lean ground chuck (or round).

***************************************************************************

                   H U N G A R I A N   S A U S A G E


			3.0 lbs of ground pork
			1.5 TB  Salt
			1.5 TB  Paprika
			 .5 TB  Pepper
			 .5 TB  Cayenne Pepper
			 .5 TB  Coriander (ground)
			 .5 TB  Caraway Seeds
			 .5 tsp Garlic Juice
			1.0 Cup Ice Water


If you don't have garlic juice, squash a couple of garlic cloves and put
them in the ice water and let it sit for awhile. If you have Garlic
juice, pour it into the ice water.

Mix together all the spices, then start mixing them into the ground
pork, adding ice water as you go (just plain cold tap water is okay...
ice water is for when you are making 50 - 100 pounds of stuff, and you
don't want the meat to start getting to room temperature). You may not
need all the water, it is to make the meat the right consistency. You
could probably think of it as having the consistency of meatloaf.

NOTE - If you have a sausage stuffer, and want to stuff this into hog
casings (which I do) it makes a great sausage to be eaten like an
Italian Sausage Sandwich in a Hoagy Roll. If you use a stuffer, you
might use a little more water. It makes it easier to stuff, with less
air pockets.

Mike JN

                                                      
> While there's never any excuse for racism, you have to look at things
> during the time period which they're produced.  For example, I've
> heard people say that Huck Finn is racist.  But if you look at
> the time period in which it was produced, it makes more sense.
    
    Absolutely not!  (Not that people don't say it, but that it's true.)
    Twain gave the Jim character all the speech characteristics we might
    consider stereotypical today, but he was the most sensible, down-to-
    earth character in the book.  That was no accident.  It bothered a lot
    of people at the time who saw what Twain was up to, and I believe that
    it was one of the reasons the book was so unpopular with the
    book-burning crowd...
    
    I can only take the "context" argument so far.  Yes, some stereotypical
    stuff we can dismiss as part of the relative ignorance or common humor 
    of the times, but it's the underlying meaning that counts.  And there 
    never was nor will there ever be a consensus on what that context
    exactly was.  For example, a large body of people abhorred slavery from
    before the time this continent was discovered.  It never was accepted
    wholesale as neither moral or immoral, but just "is", as some people
    now assume all too easily... 
    
    I really enjoyed the "Our Gang" stuff, but even as a kid when I didn't
    know nothin' about nothin', never really enjoyed the Three Stooges that
    much.  I just can't put it in the same league as Chaplin, Keaton, et
    al.
    
    glenn
     

    Maybe I'm missing something but I never thought the Rascals or the 
    Stooges were funny.  Guess you have to be a guy and over 30 to 
    understand the humour.  

    	Come on Karen you mean you don't think it's funny when Moe runs
    a saw over Curly's head and all the teeth get bent?

I think all these "old" guys grew up on the stooges so they think they're funny.

I don't find a heck of a lot of humor in them either. However if you put in 
front of some of the old-time classic cartoons (bullwinkle, bugs, Tom & Jerry)
I'll be rolling on the floor in no time.

Metz

	Bullwinkle was a very overrated moose!  Without Rocky he was 
nothing!  Most of the laughs he got were of the canned variety.  Mr. Big 
from Pottsylvania was the true genius on that show.

				/Don

    /Don,  
    
    Thems fighting woids.  No one is better than Bullwinkle.
    
    Re:  Sooges, Rascals
    
    I like em all - but my favorites are the Marx brothers.  
    
    JD

    It's basically juvenile humor.  They aren't funny to me now, but kids
    love them!
    
    Mike

    I agree with Mike Heiser.  As a kid the I thought the Stooges were the
    funniest thing around, now ~25 years later, I watch them from time to
    time and wonder what the hell I saw in them.  I still get a chuckle out
    of some of the gags but I don't get the rip snorting laughs I got years
    ago.
    
    Sheez, must be a sign of old age.
    
    JaKe
    

I think what you're experiencing is comedic growth.

The Stooges made extensive use of some of the lower forms of
comedy.  Slapstick, sight gags, many of which were prevalent in
vaudeville earlier in this century.

To this day people will roar when they see someone fall down
a flight of stairs or slip on a banana peel.

Again, I truly feel that you have to take the comedy within the
context of the medium it was presented in.

The Stooges may not seem as funny now because you've grown to
appreciate higher forms of comedy, ranging from things like puns,
to impressions, to entire routines which cause your brain to really
CREATE a scenario from what the comic describes.

On a slapstick level, the Stooges are prime stuff.


I love all forms of comedy, believing that laughter is the only
universal language.

'Saw

    
    Gee, how 'bout the one where they're climbing the telephone pole and
    Curley first puts his climbing spike through the top of Moe's head, and
    then into his eye?  Or how about when they're always shootin' each
    other in the ass with a shotgun, arrow, machine gun or pistol?
    
    Ya mean to tell me *that* isn't funny?  Some people have no sense of
    humor!!! (many smilies)
    
    My wife and I are both Stooges fans, and she's the first woman I've
    ever met who admittesd it. (I read somewhere that Stooges fans are
    overwhealmingly male.)
    
    We cue up the tape machine to try to collect the 104 Curley's that were
    made, and so far we have just over half.  There are only seventy-odd
    Shemps and a dozen or so Joes, yet in an hour show they *always* have
    just one Curley episode and two of the other bozos.  What a pisser.
    
    Dickstah
    

 Dickstah how can you forget the golf course one? The divots, chopping down
 the tree to get the ball, the outfits the ball in the bird's beak? hahaaa
 Bustoff, Wild Hycinh, pop goes the weasel, the home brewing episode, looking
 for an honest man in jail, the four horseman and of course the Census takers..

 "Are you married or single?"
 
 "HENRY"

 crash...

 "Married"...


 mike

    RE: universal language
    
    I thought it was music!

>>      <<< Note 73.592 by CAM::WAY "The time you won your town the race" >>>
    
>>To this day people will roar when they see someone fall down
>>a flight of stairs or slip on a banana peel.
    
    Gotta agree with you there, Saw.  When I was barely married, me and
    the Mrs went to her sister's for the Super Bowl, brewskis by the score,
    and homemade spaghetti.  Well, being somewhat "impaired" I ended up
    dumping a plate of spaghetti on the linoleum floor.  My sister-in-law's
    labrador retriever proceeded to make short work of cleaning up the
    floor.  Just as the mutt finished off the last of what hit the floor,
    my wife walks into the kitchen, wearing slick bottomed slippers, and
    launches into one of the funniest looking falls, you know the kind,
    feet fly up in front and land on the old kiester, I've ever seen.  Me
    and my sister-in-law just about pissed ourselves and neither one of us
    thought to ask my wife if she was ok.
    
    To this day, every Super Sunday my wife brings up the fact that I laughed
    my a$$ off instead of seeing if she was ok.
    
    
    JaKe
    

RE: JD

	Bullwinkle is about as funny as your beard is full.

RE: 'Saw

	Comedic growth is a euphemism for uppity stuffiness.

RE: Mike and Dickstah

	I always like when Moe grabs Curly by the nose with a crowbar.


				/Don

    >	I always like when Moe grabs Curly by the nose with a crowbar.
    
    Or when Moe grabs Curly's nose with a pair of scissors and Larry says,
    "He looks like a V-8!"
    
    re Mike Childs, yeah the golf course one is one of my two all-time
    favorites.  The other one is "Disorder in the Court" (Raise your right
    hand/take off your hat/raise your right hand/take off your hat...).
    Didn't see that one until I was about 15 or 16; I just about lost it
    when Larry grabbed some gum off Moe's nose, stomped on it a few times,
    stood on a chair, and thumped his chest and let out a Tarzan yell (you
    expect that from Curly, coming from Larry it was a total surprise).
    
    
    py

    Re- Stooges.
    
    My all time favorites! As I get older and have watched them so often,,
    I still appreciate the slapstick and physical humor, but the dialogue
    is what gets me now. For those who think they are simply low slapstick
    humor, listen to the dialogue. They are classic.
    In the golf one, Larry to Curley "Say ,Jasper, what did you shoot
    yesterday?" Curley " I shot sevens but they wouldn't give me the
    money!" Moe to Larry "C,mon,grab a bag of bats killer". Or the famous
    line as Moe is walking down the fairway,reams of divots behind him. The
    greenie yells " You crazy,you crazy!' Moe in reply "So's yer old man!"
    In Pop Goes the Easel, Larry says to the artist " I am an artiste!"
    The artist says " I am an artiste,too" To which Curley says " Oh,
    a pair of drawers!"
    I don't remember which episode this is from,but remember the scenario
    when Curley is dancing the rumba with some society dame. She says" Oh
    you are a wonderful dancer" Curley says "Thanks, I come from a family
    of dancers." "You do?" says the woman. Curley replies " My father died
    dancing....at the end of a rope!"
    
    Classic dialogue.
    
    
    
    
    

   My favorite line is "How long have you had a weak back", "oh about a 
   week back".  I don't know why but I crack up all the time when I hear
   that.

   Second favorite is "How much do you charge to haunt a house." "How many
   rooms". I'm laughing as I type this.

Chuck

To me the King is :

                            W. C. FIELDS!!

Just tons of great lines.

Mike JN

    Chuck,
    	I like Abbott and Costello, too,but not as much as the Stooges.
    Did you know that early in his career,Costello used to study Curley
    at any opportunity. Note that a lot of Costello's mannerisms and style
    mimic Curley's. Costello was good, but Curley was better.
    
    MikeL
    
    

Well, 

LA Law was very powerful last night.

I guess the story line that most affected me was about Victor's brother
getting in that accident, and being on life support.  Victor had to
make the decision about whether to keep him on or not.

They also got a real big client in a real big murder case.  It seems
pretty exciting because the whole firm in involved.

Did see Arnie at all last night, nor Roxanne, nor Gwen.

The rape case was pretty interesting too.  Gee, I guess Wayne Newton
must be hurtin' for money, eh?

'Saw

 We really ought to set up a dedicated LA Law Note.  Nothing against the
 "rules" about it, is there ???  It's junk but it's focused junk.
 
 Anyway, last night's episode was intense in some spots but a little flat
 in others.  Victor's family's anguish over his brother Charlie's death was
 the emotional centerpiece of the show.   My wife remembered it first that
 he had fought and won a very emotional court case last season to keep a
 girl hooked up to life support against her parents' wishes.   Nice touch
 by the writers to turn the tables on him to make us see there's pain on
 both sides of these kinds of decision.
 
 This is the kind of thing where I actually believe LA Law can help educate
 and assist its audience.  I would venture to say that a good many people,
 after watching the show, will indeed decide what they want to have happen
 in case they are confronted with such a terrible decision.    Granted,
 other plot threads on the show are purely there for entertainment value
 but this is one issue to really think about.
 
 The suicide or murdered rich ex-husband case looks like one that will
 stretch out for the next couple of episodes.  Tommy, one of the new
 lawyers, obviously enjoys these kind of big headline tabloid scandal
 cases.  He and Kuzak are concocting a PR scheme now to grab even more ink
 on the case.  Interesting photos of the victim swinging by his neck from
 the ceiling.   The divorced wife-suspect in the case is a stunner.  I was
 half-expecting Arnie to swoop in on her.
 
 The rape case was sort of anti-climatic, no pun intended.  It was fun
 seeing Wayne Newton as a sleazeball attorney but the whole thing kind of
 fizzled at the end.  Yeah, he got the 16-year old victim to come back into
 court in her dressed-for-sex killer dress so the jury could see how the
 defendant was fooled into thinking she was of consenting age.  But the
 closing arguments were short and pretty flat and the verdict was sort of a
 compromise.   He got off on the statutory rape meaning the jury thought
 she looked older, too, but he was convicted on the rape itself and was
 hauled away.  Newton just shrugged his shoulders and walked away.
 
 And, no, 'Saw, Wayne Newton ain't hurting for cash.  He is the
 acknowledged king of the Las Vegas entertainment scene.  The Las Vegas
 Hilton pays him huge bucks to keep on singing there.
 
 By the way, the attorney who prosecuted the rape case was Tommy's ex-wife,
 the assistant DA who saved Jonathan's butt last week.  On the surface,
 this had nothing to do with MacKenzie Brackman so I'm guessing that she's
 the assistant DA replacement character now that Grace Van Owen is a
 partner at the firm.  Which means that ultimately we'll probably see her
 prosecuting a case that the firm defends.  Maybe even against Tommy. 
 Could be interesting.
 
 Bob Hunt

    I thought the Victor thing was weak last night 1Way.  I was watching in
    a room with 5 people and as soon as we saw them all walking down the
    street with their (matching) bowling shirts we all said the same thing: 
    "This guy's gonna die, somehow, someway."  Very predictable.  Then
    there was inevitable lawyerly twist, where Victor's gotta go to court
    so's his brother cain get unplugged.  Meanwhile Vic's mom & dad are just
    kinda  sideline participants in the whole process.  Not realistic.
    
    From a medical perspective though, I find it strange that the doc's
    could've made such a definitive judgement about what Victor's brother
    could/couldn't do so quckly.  (i.e. he'll be able to sit up, maybe feed
    himself, have 1st grade mind, etc.)  Doctors are not God.  Neither are
    judges.  LA Law apparently tried to convince us otherwise...
    
    
    - ACC Chris

    re related stooges:
    
    Curly, Shemp, and Moe were brothers.  Neither Larry nor Joe were
    related to the other three.
    
    
    py

    PY,
    	You are correct. Twas the Howard brothers, Shemp the oldest,Moe in
    the middle and Curly(real name Jerome) the youngest. Larry Fine,Joe
    Besser and Joe DeRita(Curley Joe) were the others.
    Actually Moe and Shemp started off in vaudeville together around 1917
    and added Larry to the show in the early 1920's. They became the Three
    Stooges and worked in several movies with the comedian Ted Healy. They
    were billed as Ted Healy and his Stooges during the twenties. In the
    late twenties(1929) Shemp decided to go out on his own and they added
    Curley to the act. The Stooges split from Ted Healy in 1933 and went
    out on their own as The Three Stooges with Moe,Larry,and Curley. From
    1933 to 1947 this trio remained intact until Shemp replaced Curley in
    '47 after Curley got ill. Curley finally died in 1951. As is the case
    with others he died before his time. As Milton Berle once said " Jerry
    Howard(Curley) was one of the greatest comedic actors of all time"
    
    
    MikeL
     

                                                                  
    Also thought the Sifuentes family thing was gratuitous.  Like Bob said,
    they bring in the family and immediately kill the brother off.  Seemed
    like a great guy, but we got to see him for five minutes and they kill
    him off, so it was hard to get too emotional about it.
    
    The heart-rending shock aspect wasn't the point, of course, but rather
    the life/death argument.  Still, I think LA Law has covered this issue
    superficially.  When was the last time you heard anyone express a 
    desire in advance to be kept alive at a diminished physical/mental
    capability?  There's more to it than that, like whether society should 
    reasonably be expected to pay for extended care in such cases, even
    where a remote chance for recovery exists.  And what about the
    uncertainty of recovery itself?  On TV, the ethical questions never go 
    beyond the "would you want to live like that?" or "what would it feel 
    like to make the decision for someone else" stage, though, and that's 
    the easy, purely emotional part.
    
    I like to be entertained and humored by LA Law, and if they get too
    mushy without delivering substance on a subplot, I tend to fade out...
    
    glenn
       

    
    
    	Gee, all this stooge talk....I wonder why there isn't a stooge
    conference?
    
    	I used to be a stooge-aholic, but I've cut back over the years.
    I do have Moe's autobiography which is really interesting, and I also
    have a stooge catalog chalked full of stooge stuff.  Anyone that wants
    the address for the catalog, just drop me a line.
    
    	As to the stooges in general, they were geniuses.  They not only
    mastered slapstick, but they were masters at delivery.  The dialogue
    as someone mentioned is really facinating and quick paced just like
    that of the Marx Bros.  The stooges also master sight gags too.
    How many of you knew that the stooges made a couple of 3D shorts?  One
    of them was a remake of "pardon my backfire".  Although I've never
    seen that whole short, what I did see of it was pretty good.
    
    	As for dialogue, how about when they were cleaning that stopped up
    pump and after Moe dropped a crowbar down the well hole and there was
    a big rumbling, 
    
    	Curley says: "there's a bear down there!"
    	Moe:	     "how could a bear get down there?"
    	Cruley:      "it's barely possible.."
    
    	or the time when the fish bowl fell on top of shemps head and he
    was mumbling something and Moe turns to Larry and asked, "what'd he
    say?"  And Larry just repeats the sounds of Shemp...  I dunno, that's
    funny stuff.
    
    	If I get a chance, I'll put together the entire catalog of Stooge
    shorts (almost 200) and make the list available to those who are 
    collectors.  
    
    							bill..g.
    
    	I always like them when Moe played Hitler......he looked like the
    real thing.

    Kwak, you mean you meant that Curly, not Larry, is Howard?  Howard who?
    Who Howard?
    
    lEe

    Hawk, I agree regarding Harry Connick Jr.  His stuff is okay, just as
    long as he doesn't sing.  He's an awesome pianist, and his band is
    killer, but he cain't sing worf a squat.
    
    Mark.

    Saw, I'm telling ya man, throw on some Issac Hayes and you're all
    set... ha ha...
    
    re LA Law...  What do you think the chances are the DA for the
    wife-murder suspect is Tommy's wife?  That's what I think is coming...
    
    No Arnie or Rox, I guess they must have been filming the Victor/Grace
    story at the same time as Arnie's divorce because they were scare for
    a while.  Whatever happened to Stuart and Ann or even Benny?
    
    I don't think it's on this week, I think it's a special...
    

>
>    Hawk, I agree regarding Harry Connick Jr.  His stuff is okay, just as
>    long as he doesn't sing.  He's an awesome pianist, and his band is
>    killer, but he cain't sing worf a squat.
 

Connick sings ok.  It's just not a style you're used to hearing.
Compared to the "framework" of his music, he's pretty good.  Although,
granted, most of the recordings of similar style vocalists are all
on 78s.....8^)

'Saw

    I always loved the Stooges.
    
    One of my favorites was when Larry was telling a bedtime story top some
    baby they got stuck with:
    
    "Once upon a time there were three bears: Max Bear, Bill Bear and Buddy
    Bear.
    Now bear in mind, these bears were never bare, because they alway ran
    around in their bearskin, but in their bare feet."
    
    Great stuff, but I'm curious - how many of you would let your kids
    watch it?  I don't know about the violence, since slapstick is
    in a way fantasy, but they also showed a lot of degrading behavior to
    Blacks, Orientals and Women.
    
    =Bob= -who got a tape of "Disorder in the Court" for X-mas this year. 
    

Kvak,

	I have to agree re: Connick.  Lyman, a friend of mine is into
jazz in a big way. He has as many record albums as I have books (over
2,000). Whenever I get something I know he'll like, I tape it for him.
The last one I gave him was the new Tom Scott tape... good stuff. The
last thing he gave me was a Harry Connick Jr tape. To hear people talk,
you'd thing this guy was the second coming of Christ, blowing Jazz piano
instead of celestial trumpets. I listened front to back, and decided ole
Harry is going to need a little bit of improvement to get to mediocre.
So I taped over it. (It's not that he's bad.... just boring).

Mike JN

Re: kids and what they watch.

Something I find a bit scary....
The way they rate motion pictures.

I found that it was better for me to watch things first, so I ended up
watching a lot of PG-13 type movies, as well as the usual PG and R (I've
never really been much interested in X movies). 

My son is now 12. From my point of view, I would much rather have him
see some of the so-called adult features, where he hears the f word, or
sees a little nudity, or someone making love, rather than some of the
PG-13 movies that portray kids as smart mouthed, wise-assed little
creeps, and their parents as Nazi goofballs.

Also, kids have pretty good screening methods regarding what is real and
what is not. Shoot `em ups, they take in stride.... it's GI Joe stuff.
Some of the `real' shows (news magazines) they find much more
frightening.  I also do not believe kids should be allowed to watch ANY
slasher films (sorry /Don), like the ` Nightmare ' series or other
movies of that genre. *I* won't even watch that crap! If you stop and
think about it, it's really frightening to realize that there are people
who would forbid their kids to see a movie that had two people making
love, but they let them go see a movie where one person cuts another
person's tongue out.     That is sick.

Mike JN

I hope that when I have kids, (well, after I get married and all that
stuff), that I can cultivate an interest in them to READ a lot.

Treasure Island, Robinson Crusoe, Tom Sawyer.  All those books are out
there, and create a world of adventure for kids.

When I was growing up, there weren't many movies that could compare
with my own imagination.  (My imagination is still way out there, as
some of you may well know).  It's only been just recently, with the
highly techincal special effects that movies have been capable of
competing with what I can create in my noggin....

Fortunately, I think these days there are some folks who are conscious
of childrens programming, and capable of turning out some good stuff.
I think it's the parents' responsibility to monitor what their kids
are watching.

One movie I want my kids to see, though, is The Wizard of Oz.
I used to be SO scared of the witch when I was about 5, in fact
one time I got so scared I almost peed my pants.  That feeling
is probably the most prevalent memory of TV from my childhood.  But,
Dorothy always wins.....

And when I think back to things that my parents wouldn't let me watch,
which I saw on my own at a later age, the reaction tends to be,
"Gee, why did I ever wanna watch that to begin with?"


Can't wait to have kids....really.

'Saw

`zackly Franwa.  And I've found that if you take the time to read to
your kids when they are little, and they see YOU reading, it is
something they grow too like, and do it on their own.

A mistake I think a lot of folks make regarding movies is, they preview
a movie, and think `well, that's okay' without taking into consideration
the mental and emotional maturity of their kids. There are many things
that an adult will laugh off, that a kid might find traumatic. As an
example: The first Indiana Jones movie. Good movie. Lots of adventure
and laughs. I'd think it's probably okay for most kids in the ten year
old +/- range, but take for instance a five year old. I would think the
scene where the guy's face melts would be terrifying. There's plenty of
time for kids to see that sort of movie when they are just a bit older.

Mike JN

>example: The first Indiana Jones movie. Good movie. Lots of adventure
>and laughs. I'd think it's probably okay for most kids in the ten year
>old +/- range, but take for instance a five year old. I would think the
>scene where the guy's face melts would be terrifying. There's plenty of


As a 32 year old I had this major attack of the willies during the
spider scene.

I DON'T like spiders.  Snakes are okay, I can handle that.  Spiders
give me a severe case of the willies....

'Saw

	I just want to know if I'm just slow or not 'deep' enough.  I watched
'2001' the other night for the first time and didn't realy get it.  What's with
the colors shooting by and the big fetus?  Did I have to take a batch of
the sportshrooms before watching it?  And why was it all scrunched up and not
fit on my tv right? :-)

mc

    Frank, I have a substantial collection of jazz music from the 40's and
    50's, including Count Basie and his orchestra, Frank Sinatra, Tony
    Bennett, Glen Miller, Peter Duchin, Ella Fitzgerald, and others.  Trust
    me when I say that Connick cain't sing.
    
    But I really enjoy his orchestra.
    
    Mark.

 I don't know about his music but I sure like Harry's taste in Women....

 he dates the absolutely stunningly gorgeous Jill Goodache of Victoria
 Secrets and about a million other magazines fame....

 mike

 Re: the last few ...
    
 "The Wizard Of Oz" is 100% pure enjoyment.  The HUNTcluster is totally
 hooked on the flick.  I taped it about 5 years ago and it's been played,
 oh, maybe 60-75 times since then.   Never gets old and the lines are
 classic.   The flying monkeys scared my kids the worst at first but now
 that they know the ending by heart, they're fearless.   A couple of
 Halloweens ago, the gang went dressed in Oz costumes. I led them down the
 street doing the monkey guards marching chant ... dee-orr-EEE-ooo,
 dee-orrrrrr-eee-ooo, de-orr-EEE-ooo, dee-orrrrrr-eee-ooo, ...
 
 "2001: A Space Odyssey" should not be seen in a, a-hem, *normal* state of
 awareness, if you like get my drift.  Unless you're looking for a cure for
 insomnia.   Back in those oh-so-innocent days of collegiate youth when the
 thing to do was, shall we say, study "chemistry" from the inside of life,
 if you will, seeing "2001" was a truly memorable event.  Those classic
 words "Oh, wow!" don't really do justice.  My, um, homemade chocolate
 bakery treats (washed down with lots of wholesome milk, by the way), um,
 sorta reached their maximum, um, effect, um, right about the time the
 space guy started jogging in a circle around the space station.  
 Everything after that was in another dimension altogether ...
 
 Long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away ...
 
 Bob Hunt
 

    "2001" is a two-and-a-half-hour movie consisting of, as with an average
    NFL game, about 16 minutes of actual action.  Unless you're into the
    special effects, which are especially spectacular considering when the 
    movie was made, you should probably read the book.  (Which I haven't 
    done; can anybody speak for it?).
    
    glenn
     

>
>    "2001" is a two-and-a-half-hour movie consisting of, as with an average
>    NFL game, about 16 minutes of actual action.  


	I was thinking the same thing while watching it.  I kept saying 'enough
with the pretty shots of the planets and things floating around in space and
such and get on with the story.

Mc

The book is great!

The follow-up books get increasingly ungreat.

The movie, for it's time, was considered awesome; and I believe the
Special F/X won some prizes. I've seen it recently, also, and Glenn is
right. It is so slow it's booooorring.

I think it's us that have changed.
Did you ever see clips showing old 50's commercials? They were like a
minute to a minute and a half each, and it would take them FOREVER to
get to the point... and it was usually a pretty simple damned point.

Today, a twenty second commercial flashes several concepts at you in an
eyeblink, and often tell a little mini-story. People have become much
more sophisticated about using and interpreting visual media, and having
to sit through the old stuff is a form of torture. I suspect even
`Shrooms would no longer help that movie.

re 2001:

Personally, my favorite part of 2001 is the score.   There is some
excellent avant garde music in there by a Hungarian composer, Gyorgi
Ligetti.  Also (and more well known) the music of the two Strausses..

I've always thought it interesting that when they go forward in time
in the beginning of the movie, the Strauss movie goes back in time
if you get my drift....



re W of Oz:

I purchased the 50th Anniversary edition videotape.  The exclusive
stuff at the end (Buddy Ebsen's screen test etc) is well worth the price.
Also, the beginning is as the original -- in sepia-tone instead of straight
b&w....

GREAT movie....

'Saw

>I've always thought it interesting that when they go forward in time
>in the beginning of the movie, the Strauss movie goes back in time
>if you get my drift....


Should say Strauss MUSIC.

    .637 brings to mind something that has bothered me for a while.  Is the
    quality of video that poor that even a movie made a decade ago looks
    fuzzy and hazey?
    
    Maybe you'll understand what I'm talking about if I put it like this: 
    I saw a highlight film on ESPN recently of NC State's 1982
    championship.  It was all fuzzy and the sound was muffled.  But I can
    remember that game plain as day and the live broadcast was crystal
    clear.  What happens in this relatively short amount of time that makes
    these clips look like they're 30 years old?
    
    Another example is, recently one of those aluminum siding movies was
    showing the "Road Warrior."  The quality and sound were terrible.
    
    	--dan'l

    The bested movie to watch is Gunga Din.  I cain never get enuf of that
    movie.  Great comedy, great acting, decent score, great dialogue.  SOme
    of the scenes are a howl.
    
    2001 is tough to watch.  Cures insomnia in a moment.  2010 was a little
    faster moving.
    
    Leather Biker Chicks from Hell is a faster mover, and Hell Goes To
    Frogtown is probably Rowdy Roddy Piper at his bested.  McClintok (SP)
    has some of the funniest scenes in Western Movie history.   Village of
    The Damned has the best child actors, and 2000 Maniacs is a classic
    worth seeing - as is Poor White Trash..
    
    JD

    
    mc,
    
    	I don't think you're the only one that didn't *get it*.  I 
    	know I didn't.  I too watched it for the first time about
    	3-4 weeks ago.  I was very careful to make note of things I
    	thought would have some meaning later on in the movie.  Nope!
    	I couldn't even figure out the symbolism behind the statue/idol
    	that the apes found in the beginning that was also uncovered on
    	the moon in the future.  Maybe I was trying too hard to understand
    	the movie?
    
    Claybroon
    

    
    re: big screen movies on video
    
    	The above is the main problem with TV and video.  Most of the major
    films were filmed in an aspect ratio that is different than the aspect
    ratio of TV.  That is why some movies seem to be chopped off at the
    edges and bottom.  Some of the great war movies with those german to
    english subtitles are missing when watching it on TV.  Also, on TV,
    the actors seem to be "tall and slim".  
    
    	Most movies do not transfer well to video, but if you have a LD
    or laserdisk player, you can get movies that have been converted to the
    proper aspect ratio that was seen in the movie houses.  The technique
    they use on laserdisks is called "letterboxing".  It's not on all
    LD's, but it's fast becomming the norm. 
    
    	Letterboxing reduces the viewable image by putting 2 black bands
    across the top and bottom of the screen, but restores the image to its
    correct aspect ratio.  Some people love it, some people hate it because
    the image is slightly smaller.  If you have seen Ben Hur lately on TV,
    the chariot sceen is redone in the letterbox format while the rest of
    the movie isn't...fankly, I'd like to see the whole movie restored,
    but I ain't the boss.
    
    	In all, the LD format is the best in picture quality, sound, and
    in viewable image as far as what you would of seen in the theater.
    They are starting to utilize letterboxing on some video releases, but 
    it's mainly up to the director.  That is why I believe Woody Allen has 
    refused to release any of his movies on tape.  He wants to keep
    the same ratio as what he intended the moviegoer to see, and right now,
    video tape isn't doing it on a large scale.
    
    
    								bill..g.
    

>    If you have seen Ben Hur lately on TV,
>    the chariot sceen is redone in the letterbox format while the rest of
>    the movie isn't...fankly, I'd like to see the whole movie restored,
>    but I ain't the boss.
    
    Ben Hur is being restored like they did with Lawrence of Arabia a few
    years ago.  They are rescoring it and redubbing the sound track using
    the original actors.  
    
    One interesting issue involves a scene cut from the original in which
    Olivier is being bathed by Tony Curtis and the dialogue contains
    homosexual inuendo.  They are putting this scene back in, but since
    Olivier is dead, Anthony Hopkins is going to dub in the voice. 
    You can't even tell the difference.  He does a great Olivier.
    
    	--dan'l
    

    George Harrison was born on this day in 1943.

Personally, I find letter boxing to be somewhat distracting.

When I taped "Always" they showed it that way on PPV.  It was kind
of a pain.

What I always get a kick out of is that kind of side-to-side stretch
you get from the openings of Cinemascope movies.  Like everything
is wider, ya know.  I caught the opening of "The Great Escape" on
tv the other day and it was like that....

Now there's a movie I'd like to have on tape....

'Saw

    
    > One interesting issue involves a scene cut from the original in which
    > Olivier is being bathed by Tony Curtis and the dialogue contains
    > homosexual inuendo.
    
    I read something recently about the directors of Ben-Hur having a
    problem getting some of the dialogue between the actors the way 
    they wanted it, until they hit upon some of the subtle homosexual 
    dialogue that goes on between Ben-Hur and his main competitor (?).  
    The funny part of it was that they made the changes, but made sure 
    they didn't tell Charlton Heston about it, for fear he'd protest.  
    Apparently he didn't pick up on it...
    
    Oh, yeah, and the version of 2001 they were running on PBS did have
    the aspect ratio used in the theatre, with the picture lengthened 
    and black borders on top and bottom (as opposed to previous network
    screenings that didn't have it).  Problem on conventional television is
    that it makes everything that much smaller, and in my old age with my 
    eyes steadily on the decline, makes watching it even tougher... 
    
    glenn
     

 I don't know about that Goose. I have Sleeper and Manhatten on tape and have
 seen The Front and a few others at video stores. Perhaps though Allen only
 directed and stared in these movies but doesn't own the rights to them. Those
 that he owns the rights to may not be released on video. I've never seen
 videos for Love and Death, Broadway Danny Rose, All you wanted to Know about
 Sex etc...

 mike

    
    A little trivia about the Academy Awards and 2001
    
    Remember the monkey scene where the little ape starts whumping the pile
    of bones with the jawbone and how the scene switched over to the
    earliest battles?  The ape with the clubs pounded the other tribe?
    
    
    Well, every one of the little ape creatures was really a short person
    in a costume.  The costumes were so good that when the Academy
    Award folks were doing their thing, they thought that the apes were
    real animals and as a result, the movie wasn't nominated for best
    costumes!
    
    I remember a LOT of embarrased Hollywood folks when the truf came out!
    
    Kev
    

To me, 2001 has become a novelty.  I liked 2010, because I like
Roy Scheider and John Lithgow, and thought the concept of the
joint venture was kind of cool etc...  And the sub plot about
Hal was cool....

The Sci-Fi of Arthur C. Clarke hasn't always thrilled me.  Some of
his stuff is superb, some leaves me scratching my head....

There was a Bruce Dern flick, called Silent Running, which I liked.
(No, nothing to do with Clarke, just another Sci-Fi movie).
And the Alien flicks are very enjoyable.

(btw, I hear they're starting work on Aliens III.....)

'Saw

    RE: Woody Allen
    
    Broadway Danny Rose is definitely out on video. "I dont mean to be
    didactic or facetious, but I just need to interject just one concept
    here. This man [gestures toward mafia thug holding him at gunpoint] is 
    a wonderful person and a beautifuul human being I *LOVE* this man! 
    Now don't get me wrong, I'm not like THAT, but...." 
    
    ROOOOOLLING!!
    
    Tom

    
    re: Woody Allen
    
    	I don't follow Allen that much, so you guys could be right that he
    is starting to release his movies on tape, but I do recall that he was
    concerned not only about the conversion process (big screen effect
    lost) and the colorization process.  Maybe he has seen a partial light,
    namely big bucks, around releasing his flicks.
    
    re: Ben Hur
    
    	Dan'l, it's one thing to rework the audio portion of the film and
    quite another to restore it to its original aspect ratio.  If they are
    going to release Ben Hur in a letterboxed format, that would be great,
    but over in the LD conference, I haven't heard anything about a letter
    boxed edition.
    
    re: letterboxing in general
    
    	Size is a major concern to the average viewer.  If you only have a
    20 inch set and try to watch a letterboxed movie, good luck!  Even on
    a 27 inch set, the picture is kinda small.  As with most high-end
    products, I think that the letterboxing only looks good on large
    screens of 30+ inches.  I've seen some movies on a projection screen
    that are letterboxed that look excellent.  The missing space is hardly
    noticed on a 45'' screen.  And the manufactures probably thought that
    if you were going to recreate the bigscreen experience, that you
    wouldn't be doing it on a 20'' screen.  As I said, some people love
    letterboxing and some people hate it.
    
    							bill..g.
    

`March of the Charioteers' from Ben Hur  is an awesome piece of music.

Mike JN

    
    For the most part, I don't like letterboxing, but in the case of say,
    the chariot race, the scenes *and* the action stretched from one side
    to the other (the line of chariots and horses for example).  Another
    example is the homestretch scene between the hero and Massalah as they
    glare at each other and battle with the whip.  "Pan and scan" would
    have lost the effectiveness.  Some of the panoramic scenes from
    Lawrence of Arabia were equally effective.
    
    I find letterboxing irritating at first, but once you get into a movie
    (I think the word "film" sounds so snooty) it's not all that
    noticeable.  I think 90 % of a film is just fine with pan and scan, and
    Ben-Hur reached a happy medium in their presentation.
    
    Now stereo sound is something I'd really like to have.  I have cable,
    but no audio jacks from my TV.  I also have a VCR, but not stereo.
    Does anyone know of a way to get the TV sound through my stereo
    speakers (albeit only hi-fi) without going out and buying, say, another
    receiver or other expensive piece of equipment?
    
    Dickstah
    

>    Does anyone know of a way to get the TV sound through my stereo
>    speakers (albeit only hi-fi) without going out and buying, say, another
>    receiver or other expensive piece of equipment?
    
    Dickster,
    
    Right now I think the only way to get from TV to stereo is to have a
    stereo-ready output on your TV or VCR.  Perhaps there is such a device
    available, but you would have to buy that too.
    
    I don't think this technology is far away, however.  I've heard of CD
    players that you plug into your car's cigarette lighter and somehow
    your car stereo picks up the sound.  Have no clue how this works or the
    quality...but it that can be done, I would think it will soon be
    available for old TV to stereo...but you'd have to pull your car into
    your living room.  8-)
    
    	--dan'l

    
    I was afraid more equipment was needed.  If I spend any more money
    before the tax refund comes in I'll have to hook up the cable to the
    doghouse.
    
    Dickstah
    

    Dna'l:
    
    If the TV is stereo ready, Damark Inc sells an MTS stereo decoder that
    you hook to your TV set then hook the output to your stereo.  I think
    it goes for about $29.  Send me mail if your interested cause I get
    catalogues from them every month.
    
    RE Woody Allen.
    Question:  Many Many moons ago I saw a Woody Allen movie where he was
    being followed or pursued by the grim reaper. Anyone know what movie
    this was, If I'm correct, it was a pretty funny movie but it was over
    15 years ago that I saw it.
    
    
    JaKe
    

    
>    I don't think this technology is far away, however.  I've heard of CD
>    players that you plug into your car's cigarette lighter and somehow
>    your car stereo picks up the sound.  Have no clue how this works or the
>    quality...but it that can be done, I would think it will soon be
>    available for old TV to stereo...but you'd have to pull your car into
>    your living room.  8-)
 
 For the cd to car stereo atleast with my Sony portable player you need a
 cassette player in your car. they then have a cassette tape that is wired
 thru the jack of cd to player to the tape on the cassette which then makes
 contact with the tape head on the cassette player in your car and viola you
 have music. 

 I would guess you could cut the speaker connections on your TV and wire it
 out to you stereo alls that would buy you was having the sound come out your
 speakers cause your source ( the TV) would still be Hi-FI. Best bet save the
 pennies and buy the stereo TV it's worth it!!!

 mike

    
>    RE Woody Allen.
>    Question:  Many Many moons ago I saw a Woody Allen movie where he was
>    being followed or pursued by the grim reaper. Anyone know what movie
>    this was, If I'm correct, it was a pretty funny movie but it was over
>    15 years ago that I saw it.
    
    
 The name of the movie is Love and Death....sort of Woody's tribute to War
 and Peace as it spans the same time era in Russian history...

 mike
    

    thanks, Mike.
    
    Re.661 make that Dan'l, not Dna'l.
    
    JaKe
    

They have Cd converters for the car that run the sound through the wiring in 
your car via the cig lighter. All you need do is tune your radio to the 
specified frequency and Viola...cd sound through your radio without the need
for a casette deck. They sell the same idea for houses also. Plug in the 
speakers into a normal wall socket and the sound is transmitted through the
wiring through your house. No need to run additional speaker wiring. I don't
think the quality of the sound is up to my standards though.

If you want pseudo stereo sound (mono-through your stereo speakers) just get
a splitter and run it out of the audio out of your vcr and into the video or
Aux inputs of your receiver.It's not stereo sound but it's still better than the
sound you get through a single speaker TV set. It's what I'm doing until I can 
save enough $$$ for a 30 inch tv with stereo sound and a new 4 head hi-fi vcr
and a laser disk player....(I'll be saving 'till hell freezes over)


Metz

    Metz:
    
    I read that the CD convertors for the car work like a wireless mike, by
    transmitting at a low power level and you pick it up via the car
    antenna at the specific frequency.
    
    JaKe
    

    
    
    
    JaKe
    

    Please add many (8^)*'s to .674
    
    
    JaKe
    

    Geez, whadda bunch of technoaudiovisualweenies (TM) we gots in here.
    
    Heck, Dickstah, instead of going through all that crap, why doncha just
    get yerself an old used TV (via the garage sale route) and set it to
    the same channel - put the TV in a nice box - heck the sound might not
    be TRUE stereo (more like Dual-Mono) but who'll know??!!
    
    JD_on_Sound_visuals

    
    re 2001:
    
    I can't believe no one else in here liked the movie.  I've seen a bunch
    of times, and learned something new each time.  You have to watch it
    3-4 times before you start figuring what's going on or you can read the
    book.  From what I understand, Clarke wrote the book AFTER the movie,
    because so many people clamored for an explanation of what was
    happening.
    
    One of my favorites of all times.
    
    Bruce