Conference rdvax::grateful

    
    Whelp, my parents usually don't say to much about it to me.  I have
    heard from my mother that my dad sometime moans about me travelling all
    over the country to see a concert when I should be spending my money. 
    They opinion about the whole thing is - "what ever makes you happy" and
    they know that the Dead make me very happy.  My mom does clip anything
    and everything out of the paper that mentions the Dead.  My parents
    both went to Wisconsin in the sixties and have maintained their musical
    tastes from then.  My dad's favorite groups are Pink Floyd, Clapton,
    Moody Blues, RUSH, Joe Cocker to name a few.  My mom almost went with
    me to Alpine Valley one summer - I used to spend at least one week up
    at Alpine every summer sleeping in the parking lot and catching at
    least 4 shows.  I miss those shows the most - especially the outdoor
    afternoon shows....oh well.  I usually don't tell my parents about how
    much I spend on tapes because I don't think that they would understand. 
    I am the only one in my family that is a deadhead.  My brother is quite
    the opposite and my younger sister who used to complain as a kid - "oh
    no Jerry is driving .... that means we will have to listen the the
    Grateful Dead" is now starting to listen to them herself.  I hope that
    someday I will be able to share the love I feel at a show with a
    companion and my children.  But the biggest fear I have is one day the
    tour will stop - and I think that this is going to happen sooner than
    we think :-(.  It will be difficult to relate the show experience to
    others without being able to take them to one.  To me a show is a
    festival of joy, happiness, and love and may the music never stop.
    
    Happy Cheese-
    Jerry
    
    "No one noticed, but the band's all packed and gone.  Was it ever here
     at all"

    My mom's got dancin' bears on the rear window of her Oldsmobile.  Not
    that she's a deadhead, mind you.  But she thinks the bears are "cute".
    
    She tends to listen to the band a lot, 'cause she spends about half the
    year living at my brother's house in Joisey and that's about the only
    kind of music he plays.  She claims to like the music, but admits that
    "it's nice to hear something else once in a while" ...
    
    								... Bob
    

    
    We are three generations of Deadhead in my family.  My kids and their
    girlfriends go on tour with us sometimes... sometimes they go alone.
    Of course my boys are 20 and 21.  
    
    Dave's girls are little, tiny Deadheads too.  They are 4 and 5.  When
    Vera first learned to talk, it wasn't very long before she knew the 
    lyrics to the songs by heart and sang along.
    
    mary

 I really don't know how they feel. Our family has three stages. 
Stage one: The control stage, this goes from birth to first job.

Stage two: The slow release stage, this starts at first job and continues
till you leave home. 

Stage three: Final release stage, this of course is when the bird leaves the 
nest for good. 
  This is not to say that my parents don't care for their off-spring, because
they do immensely it's just thir attitude is that we have to live our own lives.
This is more my father's way of thinking,than my mother's. 
  But back to the topic at hand. A year oge give or take a few months, my father
was over my place and I had on JGB's acoustic cd. Well he loved it. So for 
his 60th birthday I gave him a copy. He told me the story how he had some 
clients in his car one day while playing it. They asked him who it was and
he told them Jerry Garcia. They then asked him, "Isn't that the guy in the
Grateful Dead?" He replied jokingly, "Yea something like that."

Shawn

    Seeing as I'm pretty young, my mother is pretty young too (early 40's).  I
think she doesn't mind me getting so reved up about the band, after all, there
are worse things a person my age could be doing.  
    I don't think she appreciates the friends I've met through the music.  I
think she suspects most of them are "users".  The fact that I associate with
them is then a reflection on me, wheather I use or not (a DEC BBS is not the
place for personal confessions...)
    All in all, she digs the music.  She was taken back a bit when she saw
Garcia on TV (Letterman) - she couldn't believe that the grey, fat, old guy was
Jerry!  I had to bring her my copy of the 1st album to refresh her memory about
"young Jerry".  A few days ago she saw Arlo Guthrie on TV - same thing -
shocked!  
    I think she'd like a Dead show - she has said that she wouldn't mind going
to one - but I think she'd freak out if somebody lit up next to her.  I'm
bringing my 18-year-old sister to the Saturday night show in Albany, but won't
bring the 12-year-old for the same reason.  
    This is not passing judgement on anyone (including myself).  Its just that
the "scene" sometimes prevents people from getting to the "music".  Our
reputation is well known, if oftentimes undeserved.
    Feel free to flame me if need be.

    Peace.

    My parents like the Dead.  Although, when I used to commute to
    Cambridge (1981-82) with my Dad in my VW all we listened to was the
    Dead.  Every morning I'd look over at him, crammed into my bug with his
    knees touching his ears, a cup of coffee in one hand, the Dead in the
    tape deck playing space at 7:15AM and I'd think to myself, this man is
    a saint.  
    
    My parents like the Dead because they played a unique yet intricate
    style of music.  The only aspect they had a hard time with was
    extended jams and space ( the wierd stuff).
    
    I took both of them to a dead show at Stanford Amphitheatre several
    years ago.  My mom went with us and my dad was to meet us there after a
    few hours of work.  Well, we never found my dad, his comment was
    I was in the back with the dancers didn't you see me?  I looked at him
    and laughed.  Being in the back with the dancers for your first dead
    show is pretty wierd.  Thank God he worked at a college during the
    sixties, so he had the skills to cope.  He has a fantastic time.  My
    mother had a blast with us.  Though she kept saying, the rope is really
    strong in this section whew!  Her favorite song was Women are Smarter
    cause it's easy to sing along to.  Mine was the Other One.
    
    My mom really misses not having anyone to go to a dead show with
    anymore.  I live back east.  I told her that if she was really
    interested I'd ask the West DECheads if anyone wanted an extra mom
    along for a dead show sometime.  She feels overwhelmed to go alone.
    
    Since this time, Mom has been to JGB shows with me.  She always stays
    on top of Dead news.
    
    Prudence
    
    P.S. I took them to a very special Bob Marley show.  Mom thought the
    rope was bad at the dead...You should've heard Marley
    

I don't have much contact with my parents anymore, so they usually don't know
what I'm doing at any given time ... if I asked my mother how many shows she
thinks I've gone to, she'd probably say "two."  ;^)

From the small amount of discussion I've had with her concerning the Dead,
though, I've found that she identifies the Dead strongly with the drug culture,
and is therefore uncomfortable with me seeing shows, etc.  She's a nurse at
Norwood Hospital in MA ... after every show at Sullivan Stadium in Foxboro,
she gives me a full report (complete with gory details) on the attendees
who were admitted to the hospital (focusing on the overdosers).  ;^)

Come to think of it, she's also told me about people admitted with broken
limbs and alcohol poisoning after football games.

Once she gets her car tapedeck fixed, I'm going to make her a tape of Dead
tunes that I think she'll like ... those with a country-ish sound.  Actually
I should probably just give her American Beauty and Workingman's Dead.

- Dave

    MY PARENTS JUST DON"T UNDERSTAND!@@!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
                                                       rfb

	My father has no comment, but will enjoy some of the older dead stuff
that isn't too electric!  My mother doesn't really comment too much.  She too
identifies the dead culture with drug users, mostly MJ; She has no concept
of what LSD does.  My parents do have friends that smoke it up and see that 
it is no worse than alcohol use.  I think she takes a look at me, and sees 
that I live a rather normal life, and the dead is just part of it...

    My father hates any music newer than Glenn Miller.
    (although he did buy "Postcard" by Mary Hopkin in 1968)
    My mother doesn't really care for the Dead, although she did like
    the acoustic Jerry album when she heard it.
    
    Scott
                                                           

  I am the parent  ;-(, and my son is too straight, loves Donald Trump, but
he likes the Dead.  My daughter is going to be cool but she doesn't call her
Daddy often enough  ;-(.

My father is no longer with us, and I don't think he was too crazy about
the music/scene I was in back in the late '60's/70's.   He did like it
when I brought home new blues stuff.


My mother would like to go to a show though.  A couple years ago when my
son, sister and I were getting ready to go to a Shoreline show, she really
wanted to go...we took a bunch of pictures of her in a tie dye.  A couple
New Years Eve's ago she taped the show off of KFOG for my brother and I...
She likes the music, but I think she also likes the non-drug portion of
the scene.




Jim

    
    At first when my brother went off the deep end( so to speak) my parents
    didn't understand.  When my brother moved to California to be closer to
    the Boyz, my mother decided to go to a show with him to try and find
    out what the big attraction was.  She loved the music (hated the smoke,
    though).  Now she has more tye-dies than me, my brother, and my sister
    combined.  She really enjoys acoustic stuff..."Musta been the Roses" 
    is her favorite tune...Also my parents are very into coffee houses 
    and folk music so they sorta understand us.  My parents have hundreds
    of folk music tapes so they understand that aspect, too.
       My mother wuold probably go to a show again, Dad still says pass...
    
                 DaveB.

I took my mother to her first show last March in Hartford and to my surprise
she liked drums/space the best.  My father died a year and a half ago but he
was rather uptight and couldn't have handled the scene.  He knew I liked the
Dead but we never talked about it.

		Dave

    
    
    
    
    	My mom has been confussed over the whole situation for some 
    	time now.  And more so when I married a Military Man.  She 
    	wonders how the 2 can mix.  One with a gun and the other with a 
    	J***T.  She knows the scene and things that everyone has a 
    	life of their own.  She isn't really happy when I take off 
    	for shows.  And she ISN'T happy I want to go to some while 
    	I'm pregnang. ...."How could you be around all that smoke 
    	with a baby inside you?"  I gave up smoking MJ (as JC says)
    	but that doesn't mean I don't miss it or want to smell it.  
    
    	My mom also thinks some of the music is boring.  I just 	
    	had to laugh when she said that.  
    
    	Some parents will never understand.....I'm glad I have the 
    	chance to be a understanding parent.  After all I've 
    	seen (in my young years) I'm not sure if my children can 
    	shock me. 
    
    	Nicole 

    
    
    My mom doesn't really care either way - she just wants me to grow up
    and stop hanging out the way I do.  But she lives in VT so I don't have
    to deal with that too much.  Also I don't think she really knows 
    what she means when she says she wants me to grow up.  Hey - I hold
    down a job/have a house/a car and a great group of friends...isn't
    that a grownup?
    
    I am the parent of three who are plenty old enough to go to shows, etc.
    Only the youngest has ever been to a show.  The first time was a total
    shock for her but her second show last summer at Foxboro was great for 
    her.  A lot of it has to do with the friends you're with and whether
    they are uptight or not.  She had a great time and has since come to
    see Slipknot with me a couple times.  My middle child likes soft rock
    better but loves to dance etc so she's come to see the 'knot with me
    when she's in town from GA.  My oldest thinks all music but church
    music is the work of the devil...I don't know how that happened!
    
    Carol

    Re:" My oldest thinks all music except church music is the work
    of the devil..."
                    A friend of the devil is a friend of mine!
                                                              rfb

    My mother is into it.  She doesn't really have much of a choice.  At
    first she use to say "Thats all you god damn kids care about is the 
    Grateful Dead"  (as we were running out the door in the morning to 
    wait in line for tickets) after a while she got use to it.  
    
    It then got to a point that we had to start staying out over night in
    the parking lots waiting for tickets.  She once came down.  I almost 
    died when I saw my mother cruzin by around 2 in the morning.  She
    wanted to know if we needed food or beverages.
    
    I buy her tye dyes when I go to the shows.  She love it.  She likes
    most of the old music better though.  I still would like to take
    her to a show, by the looks of it though I dont think they will be
    getting close to Nashua anymore.  Albany is a little to far for her.
    
    As for my dad, I once gave him some blank tapes and on accident he got
    one of my dead tapes.  He called me the next day and said I gave him a
    tape with "some weird music"  on it.  I knew right away what it was.
    I just laughed.  He does enjoy listening to "Music Never Stopped"  and
    the only other person in my family is my sister, and she is right by
    my side.
    
    Tracy
         

     My parents actually think the acoustic stuff is pretty good..... My
    Dad especially likes the cowboy type soungs, probably because he
    had a period in his life where he liked country music a lot.  He now
    listens to Classical almost exclusively, but still likes some of the
    Deads music.  At first, my parents (esp my Dad who ran a school system)
    felt it was a bad reflection on the "family" to hang out with these
    "unusual" people.  I think over time he found that although many of
    my friends were a little wierd, they all (pretty much) were extremely
    bright individuals in thier own right, and thats something my Dad
    respects (Having several graduate degrees and doctorates) so he came
    around.  For a while there he was telling some of his friends about
    how both his sons were "involved" as he put it with the Dead,
    then I enlightened him to the "dark side" of the Dead, bad press,
    etc.... and told him he should be careful how he "positions" the
    Dead since many people relate it to Drugs and "anti" social behavior.
    He understood and knows and trusts me enough to know and am under
    control.   I think that is probably my parents only concern is loss
    of control, that seems to be when trouble happens at show the most.
    
    Anyway, they know I live a normal life (basically) and they also know
    who pays the bills so I can live it like I want.    They also know me
    well enough to know they can't change me, lord knows when this all
    started back in '77 they tried....  
    
    They tried with my brother too didn't work any better so I think
    at that time the accepted it as part of growing up, now its more
    than that and thats okay by them too 'cause they love us...
    
    
    Randy
    

    Well, my parents don't know what a deadhead is (except for the old-old
    definition as a dullard) and they don't know what the Grateful Dead is. 
    I believe they figure all that "sixties scene" (meaning the obvious
    appearance) is gone for good.  basically, I/We live our own life and
    that's it.  I mention to them that I went to MSG to see a concert, and
    they don't make a big deal about it.  
    
    Not too exciting is it.  Basically, being a deadhead is a very personal
    experience that I like keeping all to myself.  I tried getting my wife
    involved, but she wasn't into it.  And most of my friends aren't into
    it.  Isn't that funny?  I feel like I have dual personalities.  Is
    there anyone out there that feels this way too?
    
    dave

    re: dave irons...
    
    Your last paragraph sums up my situation to a tee...
    
    It's my personal involvement, I've tried bringing my wife along for the
    ride (a coupla shows) but she just sits there, looking up at me dancing
    and politely smiles.  I go to shows without her now...  right JC? ;^)
    
    My family doesn't react negatively, they are all open minded and are
    all in totally different phases of the moon anyway.  I kinda like it
    that way...  no competition, yet everyone respects everyone else's
    viewpoints and interests.  It makes for fun family get togethers, and a
    deep love for them that I respect with all of my heart :^)))))
    
    GREAT note!  I'm enjoying...  I've been tuned out of the file for the
    last week, but I'm still alive...
    
    The Tree

    
    >it.  Isn't that funny?  I feel like I have dual personalities.  Is
    >there anyone out there that feels this way too?
    
    Yes, I do.  At school I have two distinct sets of friends - one that
    are Deadheads and the other that are not.  It is difficult sometimes
    balancing the two because they all don't want to hang out together so I
    have to split my time.  It is really difficult when I go back and visit
    to split the 2 days I have there between the two groups.  I wish it
    didn't have to be this way but that is the way it has turned out.  The
    thing that I am really tired of is everyone equates Deadhead with "drug
    dealer".  It becomes a hassle when you go out to the bar and everyone
    keeps hitting you up for drugs all nite.  I used to be afraid to tell
    people I was a Deadhead since they would then assume I was a "druggie". 
    But I then realized that if they are going to be true friends then they
    will have to know the real me and if they don't take the time to find
    out what I am in to then they are not friends after all.  I am just
    really sick of the stereotype the label Deadhead carries with it.  But
    the Grateful Dead will always be my first love.  
    
    Happy Cheese-
    Jerry

    >it.  Isn't that funny?  I feel like I have dual personalities.  Is
    >there anyone out there that feels this way too?
    

Yeah, it's kinda the same for me, although I wouldn't use the phrase "dual 
personalities" to describe myself.  My parents couldn't care less because they 
know me and know that whatever "bad" things they may hear about the dead are 
not why I'm into them.  My girlfriend isn't really into it, although she 
doesn't mind listening to the boyz everytime we drive anywhere.  And my 
friends, well some are into it, some aren't.  I've got friends who you could 
say are deadheads, some who love listening to the dead but couldn't care less 
about seeing a show, and some who really don't like the dead at all.  But 
that's ok because everyone I know seems to have a common thread and that is 
"to each his/her own", which makes it easy to just hang out with whoever and be 
yourself.  You don't have to be into the dead to be a good person and know how 
to have fun, just like being a deadhead doesn't necessarily mean you're into 
{fill in your favorite stereotype here}.  

Scott

My parents are very open minded about The Dead and just about everything else. 
My Mom's favorite tune is "What's Become Of The Baby" (It sounds like a 
gregorian chant).  My dad loves the acoustic stuff, he's been playing guitar 
forever and can relate to it well.

They think it's great that I manage Slipknot and are behind me 100% in 
everything I do.

Geoff

  to my liberal friends I am a sellout flaming rightwinger

  to my rightwing friends I am a naive namby pamby idealist

  to my wife I am ....... 

    a teddy bear? :-)

 
>to my wife I am ....... 



......whatever she wants  ;^)  ;^)

    
    ... a popsicle?  :-)

Count me in as another 'head with two completely different sets of friends
(set 1: deadheads; set 2: think deadheads are burnt-out losers living in the
past - mostly friends from high school & college).  My wife hs no interest in
the Dead, though she likes a few of their songs.  Hey, Treemon, we're not alone!

- Dave

    re: not alone...
    
    ...yep, remember our conversation at Dave Russo's and Geoff Sampson's
    party last summer???  I was greatly heartened to hear your situation
    with your love was muchly similar to me with mine:^)
    
    All in all, I get bummed at times (as the /-mon and JC are well aware)
    when Treebeauty's influence does alter my desired behavior...  yet many
    times I realize (and don't ever want to forget), that it is she that
    keeps this treeboat on an even keel...  
    
    ... and after recent heart to heart's with my treebeauty, I feel very
    good about "not alienating" her values, desires, and feelings when I do
    act upon my desired behavior (goin' to the showz, jammin' w/ the boyz,
    and perhaps reducing cholesterol)
    
    treefeelinalright;^)

    hey, think I'll call you Treesweet
    
     john

Gee, I thought I had replied?  My Mom (affectionately known by me as "Toni" :-)
respects my right to do anything I can and want, and especially to be myself. 
That, afterall is how she raised me - and also why I respect her as much as I
do (which I know I have stated before, I just can't keep quiet about the
admiration I have for that woman).   She may not understand why I, "go to so
many shows" but respects it because it seems to make me happy, and not be
detrimental.  She has faith in the strength of the value system which she
installed in me (a true test in general IMO) which enables her to trust my
judgement in whatever I decide to do.  With regards to the Dead she is pretty
funny actually, she can never quite remember their name and always asks me
if I am going to another one of those concerts, "the Dreadfuls" or the
"Dreadfully Great" ...... :-)

Lisa

    THANK GOD my wife is a deadhead....she'd have dumped me a long time
    ago if she weren't....(she does complain during brewing when I play
    13 deadtapes in a row..."can we hear something else now?") ;^)
    
    "they love each other..."
                             rfb

    Sooo....I always wondered since I haven't attended any because of this
    predicament, what do all those who have non-dead spouses do with them
    when a DEChead/deadhead party comes about.  Do yall leave the spouses at
    home, or what?
    
    curious_dave

    
    Well Dave...
    
    That's the biggest downfall of having a non-head SO...  Occassionally,
    I'll go alone, rarer still, she'll join me, but most frequently (and
    unfortunately) I stay home... 
    
    Treemon

I'll usually go alone ... she doesn't have a problem with that.  She usually
uses the opportunity to go out with her friends, or do something that I
wouldn't like to do.

-dc

  My wife looks at it like a bunch of guys going to a football game or something.
She actually likes the activities and people but doesn't want to spend her money
on the concert, she is into Soul and new Age.  She doesn't mind me going at all,
because she knows I enjoy it and even though she doesn't say it I think she just
thinks we are a bunch of old wanna be in the 60's hippies era people.  I'd tell
her "you bet."  ;-).  

  What I enjoy is how much she likes the music when she hears it.  We
were over at Randy's and she found out she likes Little Feat and the Rads.  No
way _I_ could have convinced her.  She has agreed to have a before or after
party for the next concert though, I'll bet she goes.

  john

    
    
    
    
    
    	Boy I would take my husband.  In fact I've been trying to get 
    	him to a show for the past 2 years and every time something 
    	comes up.  But I would take him to a party, he gets along 
    	very well with all my friends and doesn't even mind if I 
    	take off with a group to visit the basement or garage (in my own
    	house).  Only prob. with a Military man we have rules of the 
    	house when he is home....but watch out when he isn't.  Kinda 
    	funny my husband enjoys seeing me in that state (can you 
    	say that on line?), he saids it is the only time I'm mello and 
    	happy, and he gets away with a lot. 
    
    	Nicole 

    ahhh yes...... rules
                  rfb

  what are you talking about???????

    
    
    
    
    	Talking about what??????  What's bothering you John?  How's 
    	the system?

 Rules????  I'm trying to act innocent like i don't know what they are, but
rfb knows my family and he'll blw the whistle on john_the_yes_dear_man ;-)

  Oh, and you're just happy cause your hubby is going to come home!!!!!
And I'm happy for you, does Jim get the ticket back?? ;-)

  I'm off that system, I was averaging somewhere between 15 and 20 crashes a
day, at the end they at least got journaling working.  I sincerely don't remember
ever being THAT angry at a machine, not even my dear departed Jeep.  ;-)

  john 

    
    
    
    
    	SARCASIM??????? what is that?  I told  you I lost is all 
    	when I meet my husband.  I guess I really lost it all. Someone 
    	help me I need a good excuse for being so stupid. 
    
    	:-)

    
    
    
    	I Know what the prob. is....it just hit me.  I need a good 
    	roll in the sheets...where is my husband again? He better 
    	come home soon before I have to start asking people to explain 
    	jokes to me. 
    
    	Boy I'm in trouble....
    	
    	Nicole  

    
    He'll be home now, Nicole... they all will... 
    
    Well, most of them anyway.. I suppose they'll want to keep a small
    contingent there for awhile to oversee cleanup and all.
    
    I'm very happy for you.
    
    Mary

I play the Dead's music in the house allot.  My Wife enjoys it, and the kids
like it too.   Recently, I asked my daughter (who is 6) what kind of music do 
you like?  She smiled, looked me straight in the eye and said 
"The Gwateful Dead!".  I'm a happy dad.  I must be doing something right.

ecurB

    Re: 130.49
    
    I know the feeling.  I'm bringing my 10 year old daughter to her first
    show in Orlando in the 7th.
    
    Her favorite album is Old And In The Way.
    
    tim
    

RE:                 <<< Note 130.50 by SCAM::GRADY "tim grady" >>>

       
   > Her favorite album is Old And In The Way.
    
    

   My 8 year old loves this album!  Everytime he's over he wants to 
hear it.  My 14 year old won't confess but I think he likes it too ;^)





Jim    

  if you have any real young'ns (like 5 or 6) give 'em an oldy but goodie,
Free to be You and Me, by Ms Collins.

  john

    thats funny my little one, six, also likes this album and so does her 
    best friend...mkatter of fact I taped it and my daughter gave it to her
    for her birthday......I've thought about taking my daughter to 
    a show but then I'd have to take her to see New Kids..hmmm maybe
    they'll all be in jail by then if I wait long enough.
    
    
    rich....saw a bumper sticker today and can't find the right note so
    I'll put it here ...."Humpty Dumpty was pushed"

	looked for an appropriate place to put this - this is -kinda-
	appropriate AND the note was started by -me- many moons ago,
	so that's cool...

	this past weekend, I overheard my oldest daughter talking to her
	11 year old sister, and heard what I've really been hoping all my
	kids would feel as they got older, something like:

	"do you realize how lucky we are?  Our parents listen to such cool
	music - compared to what my friends' parents do - we're really lucky"

	nothin' left to do but ;-) ;-) ;-)

	Debess

    it's nice to have cool kids too eh?  :^)

	you bet it is - I am blessed.

    :-)  Me too.  Alan has recently been borrowing my Jimi Hendrix CDs,
    enjoys the Dead's music (gave him a couple of GD tee shirts for
    Hanukkah that he really likes), gets into my Frank Zappa stuff, and
    rilly likes Phish too.
    
    He's also getting to be a pretty fine Cellist, so he will be
    blessed with the same problems I have when trying to figure out what to
    add to the collection next.
    
    We must be doing SOMETHING right, eh?
    
    	dave
    

    
>    We must be doing SOMETHING right, eh?
    
	I know -you- are, dave - after spending an evening with your
	two kids a while back, I think both of them are mighty cool people,
	-mighty- cool...

	Debess
    

	i also get the same thing from my daughter. she likes most all my
	music and has a lot of hendrix stuff. her friends think it's cool
	that i go to shows (at my age ;-) and like my collection of dead
	tapes. we're so unlike most of their parents. i've got mixed
	feeling about it, tho. i mean, it's weird when one of her friends
	says "i heard you're going to worcester show" and then end it
	with "mr jollimore". i look around for my dad.  ;-)

    I have had the same thing happen, I sometimes hear there friends
    looking through the CD's  saying Wow your parents are cool, then
    I hear my sons agree, but always qualify it with "you do not
    have to live here with them"  

    
    We got Dick's picks V2 for xmas from my youngest.  She used to think
    the Dead thing was weird but as soon as she got to college, she slipped
    over the edge :-) a bit.  My daughters really do get it and my son
    doesn't allow himself to listen to music so there you go, you and I
    when we can ....
    
    

>     my son doesn't allow himself to listen to music 

	what does he do when he comes over to your house?  Hold his hands
	over his ears? ;-)

	Debess
    
    

    Jay - 
    U and I both know that the only reason we are good parents is because
    we fish.....
    
    
    I refuse to let my kid's friends call me "mr" or "sir" ... although 
    they tried at first just to be curtious, but soon found out it wasn't 
    necessary...
    
    on the "bad kid note"....
    last nite my oldest told me she was getting her nipple pierced 
    
    
    
    rfb

                      <<< Note 130.63 by SPECXN::BARNES >>>
>    Jay - 
>    U and I both know that the only reason we are good parents is because
>    we fish.....
 
Ahhh,  A classic Barnes....   :)  I like it.
    
>    on the "bad kid note"....
>    last nite my oldest told me she was getting her nipple pierced 
    
ouch!

    Nipple piercing is nice....navel piercing is even better
    you got cool kids rfb and debess

    
    well mr leblanc,
      can we assume that you have your nipples pierced, if it is indeed
    nice?   I can't see the point of certain piercing.  Maybe I am just too 
    old.
    	
    	

	rfb,  you're right on.  :-)
	
>    I can't see the point of certain piercing. 
	
	is this a stealth pun???   ;-)

    nope
    tattoo only
    
    as far as futzing around with nipples....on women i think piercing adds
    an exotic touch.....
    
    
    just my .02

	you have your nipple tattooed?

    re; tattoo....
    
    
    that's the next thing for Tiffany...so she says...she's even designing
    the tat she wants.....during a party around Xmas, I had a friend over
    that is covering his entire body with self-designed tats that mean
    something to him, like icons and symbols that relate to family members
    and a tat from a picture of his dad in the 50's, etc. Tiffany's friends
    wanted to see all of them! I suggested James take his clothes off and
    display..."These young kids don't want to see an old, tattoed body" was his
    answer.  Funny stuff!!!
    
    and MNELSON....you R an old fart!!!
    
    rfb
    

    re; you have your nipple tattooed?
    HA!
    
    it's a small tat!!!
    
    %^)
    
    rfb

    Gosh I am glad mine are both over 21, and tattoo free, each wore
    an earring for a time, until their Grandfathers both got on them,
    or the phase wore out. Every now and then I flirt with getting a 
    earring... 

	jentri has wanted a tattoo since she was 14. she's been told that
	as soon as she is 18 she can do what she wants. so, she wanted
	something pierced instead. i said NO WAY! but, she (who can't
	stand the SITE of needles) pierced her own nose. 
	the color of her hair keeps changing also. :-/

    
    I kind of like the eyebrow pierce myself.  Although I don't
    have one... (I'm a needle wimp too - passed out when I
    got my tattoo :-/  If I were to pierce anything else I think
    it would be my eyebrow.... but I don't anticipate that 
    happening anytime soon.  A big hoop hanging out of my 
    eyebrow probably wouldn't make the best impression on an
    interview huh?  5 pierces in the ears is enough for me!
    
    re: nipple piercing...  WHY?  I don't get it?  What is
    the attraction here?  I guess I'm just boring....
    
    MJ
    

I don't personally have any bodily parts pierced, and it doesn't hold any
particular attraction to me, but I have known one or two who were really
into it.  From what I've heard, certain forms of piercing are not simply
decorative, but actually functional...nipple piercing may be one, as is
tongue piercing, and one or two others.  It's not exactly the subject
material for a public, family-oriented conference, though....

tim

    I have my navel pierced.  I had it done professionally about a year
    ago.  It was the most painful three seconds I have ever experienced
    in my life.  I like it, but I don't think I would have it done again.    
    
    Navel piercings _have_ to be done professionally.  If you try doing
    it yourself, you are guaranteed to screw it up and make a mess.  
    Also, they have the longest healing times of all piercings (4-6 months).
    Mine took a little over 6 months to heal.  And while it is healing,
    you have to clean it every day with Bactine (NOT hydrogen peroxide
    or rubbing alcohol or anything else).  It can get infected very easily.
    
    just some advice for your kiddies who probably already had this done ;')
    
    I would never get my nipple pierced.  Ouch.    
                     

    Oh - and for why I got my navel pierced, it is purely for decoration
    only.  I was in a weird mood that day and decided I wanted to do 
    something different, so I went out and did it.  It has no functional
    purposes to me. 

functional purposes.... like a place to hang your keyring should you visit a
nudist beach, fr'instance?

Josh

    roachclip....

	well, well, well!  why is it that as I'm reading this thread,
	the smile on my face is getting bigger and bigger?!
	(and Josh's response had me laughing out loud!)

	I love the rebelliousness of these things, I love the shock value
	of these things, I love the look of (some of) these things.

	I think it's highly complimentary that some of your kids are so
	open about this kind of stuff with you - what it shows is that they
	trust you - I think this is very healthy.  It's almost like the
	inevitable rebelliousness of teenage-hood is towards society and not 
	you the parent, do you know what I mean?  Like you're a co-conspirator.

	I'm pretty accepting of things, drawing the line at hurtfulness
	towards others or themselves.  And agewise too - I want them to
	be children for as long as they can - so I push back a bit in that
	way.  

	But rebellion I expect and if it doesn't happen with my kids, I'll
	be disappointed ;-)

	and as for you'all that have done some of these things to yourselves,
	well to stay on the subject here - what do -your- parents think of it?

	Debess

    
    >Like you're a co-conspirator.
    
    I like that image!
    
    >and as for you'all that have done some of these things to yourselves,
            well to stay on the subject here - what do -your- parents think
    		of it?
    
    My parents don't like it when I don't wear a collared shirt to dinner.
    (No, I'm not kidding.) We've gotten into the don't ask, don't tell
    stage for some issues.
    

    my parents gave up on me alooooong time ago....I've never conformed to
    their ideals and they accept that now. We get along just fine, though.
    Dad and I fish alot together, etc. but he still asks "when U gonna cut
    that shit off, U grey haired old man..." They've never said anything
    about my kids piercings,,, ears, nose , tongues cause they realize that
    looks don't mean anything...it's ones actions that make a differance.
    
    
    rfb

    as sloan,dc, deane'o  and steve martin can attest to...my pop is pretty 
    hip and open about stuff....
    
    Not much I have done has shocked him..
            
    I was raised in a very liberal house socially and formulated my
    political views thusly....i think i may just take the same approach
    with my kids
    

                
    > I was raised in a very liberal house socially and formulated my
    > political views thusly....i think i may just take the same approach
    > with my kids
    
    Yeah, and look at the way you turned out!!!  ;-)

	leblancc, they'll allow you to have kids?  oh my.

	this could probably go in the old fart topic ...
	
	i let jentri drive (on her learner's permit) saturday nite.
	that alone made me feel old.
	but, a song came on the radio, and i recognized it as a song that
	was a hit when i had my learner's permit. 
	it was on the oldies station!!  :-/
	
	

    recently in Worcester Magazine, Paul Della Valle had a nice article
    on exactly this....  he had just come back from taking his son out for
    a drive, with the son in the drivers seat....  it was a very nice piece
    with some poignant stuff thrown in to keep it from being too
    sentimental...   if i can remember to dig it out (er, read "if it
    hasn't already been thrown away") i'll try and type it in...
    
    					da ve