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Conference lgp30::christian-perspective

Title:Discussions from a Christian Perspective
Notice:Prostitutes and tax collectors welcome!
Moderator:CSC32::J_CHRISTIE
Created:Mon Sep 17 1990
Last Modified:Fri Jun 06 1997
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:1362
Total number of notes:61362

1079.0. "Honor your father and your mother" by CSC32::J_CHRISTIE (Unquenchable fire) Wed May 03 1995 19:42

Honor your father and your mother.

Stated in the positive, this feature puts the commandment in the minority
among the 10 (along with remember or observe the Sabbath).

I've grown to appreciate this commandment more since becoming a parent than
previously, although it always generally seemed like a pretty good idea to me.

What say ye of this particular commandment?

Shalom,
Richard

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1079.1GRIM::MESSENGERBob MessengerWed May 03 1995 20:194
Unfortunately some fathers and mothers don't deserve to be honored.  Oh
the whole, though, I think it's a good idea.

				-- Bob
1079.2DECALP::GUTZWILLERhappiness- U want what U haveThu May 04 1995 08:2015
> I've grown to appreciate this commandment more since becoming a parent than
> previously, although it always generally seemed like a pretty good idea to me.

i have made much the same experience. having children yourself you discover
your parents within yourself, don't you.


as for the commandment, i consider it most important. though i don't know how
it should apply if the parent(s) have failed the children. i always thought that
being at odds with ones parents implies being at odds with oneself.



andreas.
1079.3CSC32::J_CHRISTIEUnquenchable fireThu May 04 1995 15:477
    Parenting is probably never a flawless process.  I've tried to let my
    children know this up front.  I'm not reluctant to apologize to my
    children.
    
    Shalom,
    Richard
    
1079.4does the command apply always, unconditionally?DECALP::GUTZWILLERhappiness- U want what U haveThu May 04 1995 16:1516
i quite agree. i think it is perfectly normal for one to bear some grudges 
against the parents or one parent at some point in life.... mostly until 
the person realises that the parents did what they thought best and that 
noone is infallible. 

but then most of us were blessed with good parents. what do you say to the
unlucky ones?

what do you say to the person who would have nothing to do with his or her 
parent? the person who thinks that cutting the relationship to the parent 
is better than mending it? is honouring parents always the right thing to do? 
for instance even if the parents or one parent has behaved dishonourably (as 
in the case of child abuse).


andreas.
1079.5ps.DECALP::GUTZWILLERhappiness- U want what U haveThu May 04 1995 17:1716
maybe i should add that i ask questions here from a philosophical point of 
view. for instance, can most (or all) of the ten commandments be looked at
as 'principles for a good life'? the question which arises in this context 
is, does a principle apply in all cases? eg. should hitler's son honour his
father? or should a sexually abused daughter honour her father? (it seems
almost cruel to expect the children to honour their parents in these cases.)
the other way of looking at it is, doesn't a principle only proof it's worth 
in extreme cases? must it not be able to withstand extremes? for instance, 
what do you make of people who normally are against capital punishment, and
who now ask that the bombers of oklahoma city be given the death penalty?
or what do you make of people who are against killing other people but who
see nothing wrong with going to war as soldiers?



andreas.
1079.6For Internal UseCSC32::J_CHRISTIEUnquenchable fireThu May 04 1995 18:2619
Note 1079.4

>            -< does the command apply always, unconditionally? >-

The truth of the matter is that all 10 were intended for the covenant
community.  None were originally seen as universal.

>but then most of us were blessed with good parents. what do you say to the
>unlucky ones?

A tough one.  I would not condemn the bitterness.  I would not encourage
sustaining such bitterness either.

Another consideration.  Certainly an adult who was abused as a child has
the extra burden of attempting to break the cycle.

Shalom,
Richard