Conference 7.286::digital

He's dead, isn't he?

		Steve

    
    For all the on-the-air advertising we do -- does it matter?
    

For Finnish perspective (with 3 years in the U.S. so far):

>        AT&T      Tom Selleck    - Magnum, PI

    I know him. Used to watch the program occasionally +10 years ago, 
    or whenever it was still relatively new & he still seems to appear
    in newer movies from time to time.
    
>    	Sprint    Candace Bergen - Murphy Brown

    I've seen her on TV (Candice, is it?)
    
>        Penzoil   Arnold Palmer

    No idea. No face. Has something to do with sports?
    
>     	McDonalds Michael Jordan et al

    I know about him (but didn't before I moved to the U.S.; likewise for
    Larry Bird, more or less).
    
>    	Wendy's   Dave Thomas
 
    No name/face recognition outside the U.S. I've figured he must
    be the owner of this Wendy's chain or something from the way
    he acts in the commercials.
       
>     	Pepsi     Michael Jackson

    Certainly known world-wide. Probably varies a lot with different
    age-groups, though.
    
>        AT&T      Cliff Robertson

    Who?
    
>        Chrysler  Joe Gariogiola

    Who?
    
>    	IBM       Charlie Chaplin
 
    Sure.
       
>    Don Knotts

    Had no idea who he was until I came over here and happened to
    watch the beginnings of a couple of old U.S. movies on TV (first
    one for almost 15 minutes & the other one until I saw he was
    on it ;-)

    
Point is: a real or imaginary spokespersonality could be a good thing, but
for a world-wide, international company, it better have world-wide,
international name-recognition (or you'd need to use a different
personality for different geographies).
    
...petri

>He's dead, isn't he?

    If he is, he never looked too good when he was alive!  Nah, I think
    Tody Fields woulda been good, she kept getting smaller, too. :^]
    
    Here's my own list of candidates, open for discussion....
    
    
    
    Heidi Fleiss: "Looking for connections?"
    
    Tonya Harding: "Could one good whack put your system out of
    		    commission?"
    
    Cher: "Digital...changing with age"
    
    Michael Jackson: "Why use an old system (moves from in front of a large
                      big blue box to a VAXstation) when the young ones are
    		      soooooo much better?"
    
    Fred West: "You can bury your computer problems...but they're going to
    	        surface sooner or later, and when they do..."
    
    Ronald Reagan: "God Bless Digital!" (band, confetti, cheering crowd)
    
    Madonna: "Why f**k around with a half-*ssed solution?"
    
    David Letterman: "Here's my list of the Top 10 Reasons to Buy Digital"
    
    Sgt. Friday: "Just the VAX, ma'am".
    
    The Biosphere crew: "Stuck with your current system?"
    
    Rush Limbaugh: "What snot-nosed, tree-hugging, left-wing, ACLU carded,
    		    pinko Liberal wants to buy from a company that will
    		    trade with commies? Huh?  Well, that's IBM!"
    
    Barney: "I lost my friends because they couldn't adapt.  That's why
    	     I bought Digital!"
    
    Dudley Moore and Susan Anton: "Bigger isn't always better, you know".
    
    							Tex

    RE:  .6
    
    THANK YOU!  I needed a chuckle today.
    
    /se
    

Seems to me the most appropriate spokesperson would be John Wayne Bobbitt.

j.

    
    
    a cut above the rest......

				Rube Goldberg?

>Point is: a real or imaginary spokespersonality could be a good thing, but
>for a world-wide, international company, it better have world-wide,
>international name-recognition (or you'd need to use a different
>personality for different geographies).

	I'd think that multiple spokesdroids would be the way to go. It'd be
	too hard to try to find a single person who projects a positive
	image world wide.

	If, that is, we cared about things like promotion, advertising, and
	projecting an image...

	Roy

    To take this seriously for a minute, I'd like to hear Majel Barrett
    Rodenberry as spokesperson on our ads.  Come to think of it, I'd just 
    like to hear some ads, period.
    
    FYI, Majel Barrett provides the voice of the computer on Star Trek: The 
    Next Generation.  
    
    I'd contribute some of my pay to hear her say, "Digital supports your 
    enterprise..." during a prime-time commercial.
    
                                             
      -- Jeff

    Alfred E. Newman
    
    "What me worry!"

    Clearly, no one thinks it should be Bob Palmer.

Frank Lorenzo.

    The OTHER Robert Palmer...?
    

        Re: -1

    Yeah we could go with "Simply Irresistible" as the tag line...!
    
    Mav
    

    
    Re: all specific notes
    
    A few of you could be excellent ad-men...it always amazes me what
    talent this company has...it's just to bad no-one asks for ideas.
    Until we decide on a new ad company, nothing new will happen.
    
    Thanks for the laughs as well.
    
    BH

    
    	This is great. I want...Da,Da..... KERMIT, the Frog.
    
    	Little Jim Henson (yes, he is dead) characters running around
    singing a witty little song, throwing BLUE MEEANIES in the air.
    	Be still my beating heart. DIGITAL....Real advertising....
    Like during NFL games...Wait!   I have another idea.
    
    
    
    	Let's used TSFO'd employees. They need the job.
    
    		I'm still the Greyhawk
    	

    AND THE CYBERPERSONNA OF THE FIRST ORDER -----
    
    MAX HEHEHEDDD ROOOOOOMMMM
    
    From the here to the ethernet.

    
    	Who else.. but  "ARNOLD"..!   The TERMINATOR...!!
    
    
    

	Howard Stern, of course.  He's already shilling for IBM,
	'cause someone was smart enough to give him one of their
	computers. 

    I agree Howard would be great, just imagine what Howard would say about
    having a Virtual Reality system powered by a Digital Alpha System.
    
    

    
    That big blonde from Naked Gun III.
    
    Former playmate of the year.
    
    Real attention getter.
    
    

  
    Steve Urcle and Waldo from "Family Matters". Steve Urcle as
    the brilliant technical peon and Waldo as an executive!!!
    
    
                                                       

	How about Jimmy Carter ?   




	He seems to have done far better after the White House years....

    
    	No, wait. I know. Someone bigger than a President. Someone of real
    stature.
    	That's the ticket.
    	The United Nations.
    	No.. Bigger than that.
    	I got it.
    
    	GOD......
    
    
    		Eat your heart out H-P.
    
    			the Greyhawk

I can see a fade-in from black to a quiet "How to Recycle a Your Computer from
Digital" message.  I can see Gallagher flashing on the tube with full 
flashbulb-in-your-face effects.  A small sun box is on his stool and he shouts 
"don't you know the best graphics engine is Digital's AXP ..." just before he
whips out the sledge-o-matic and smashes it to smitherines, little sun 
components flying in all directions. The ones coming at you bounce audibly
off the camera lens.  The rattling and screen fades to black again with a
CALL 1-800-DIGITAL message.  Total time about 10 seconds - buy a block of time
and pepper the superbowl with it.  Whats a minute cost anyway ?  Try to be
first commercial after the action and get everybody before they get up - or
boost the sound so you hear it from the fridge :)

I can see another fade-in from black to a quiet "How to Choose Your Information
Partner from Digital" ad.  Computer noise builds as the camera walks around
several novell boxes and face onto an HP box with a set of legs protruding
from under the box.  Get closer.  Its a greasemonkey on a dolly.  He slides
out and sits up.  Its Bobcat Goldthwait dressed in dirty coveralls with an HP 
logo and looking confused who says, in that perfect projection and diction he 
has: "You want your network to talk to a what ?".  Screen fades to the word 
"NOT!" for a second.  Another fade to CALL 1-800-DIGITAL.

I can see the tube snap to somebody clicking through a way cool application
while Gilbert Godfreid narrates a "this stuff is intense" track.

There's more, but duty calls.  Later we'll hear from Bart Simpson, Ren n Stimpy
and Beavis n Butthead...

Scott :)

    Maybe several different celebs pushing different products; we sell more
    than just graphics engines you know...  Lets be product family
    specific, not just image.
    
    Storage:  Barbara Streisand singing "Memory"
    
    Virtual Reality:  definitely Howard Stern talking about a new
    virtual-sex 900 number
    
    Networking:  Love the Bobbit motif...  connecting all the parts
    
    UNIX:  maybe this tech crowd would laugh at a real Eunick (Bobbitt
    again?)
    
    Financial systems:  Donald Trump or Michael Miliken
    
    PCs and the information highway:  Rush Limbaugh whose already plugging
    Compuserve
    
    Security conscious?:  Oliver North explaining how he got caught and
    what he should have bought
    
    
    
    

    Michael Gorbatjev - spot on!
    		      - for immediate, major re-rorgs
    
    Rene

    I nominate...
    
    
    \nasser!

    I think we should dig up Richard Nixon and have him go at it. Since it
    was a closed casket I don`t know if he is dead...he could be hangin and
    bangin with Elvis in Toledo:').

Lt. Worf is sitting at a workstation. He enters a command, and there is an
immediate reaction on the screen. Worf does a double take, looks at the
camera and says:

"Digital's AXP - it is a *WARRIOR'S* chip!"

Art

    
    How bout:
    
    	The Queen Mother
    
    (I'm not a Brit, I just think she, and her hats, are way cool).

   Re: Note 3153.34 by NUBOAT::HEBERT "Captain Bligh" 
   
   Sorry, but this would never do.  Lt. Worf lives by an honor code.
   
   1/2 :^)
   
   							Terza
   

    I can see Cheech and Chong:
    
    Digital, Digital's not here, man!
    
    Picture them doing a remote at the headquarters of 3150.9.
    
    1/2 smileys

    Enter "Q" (that mystical thing (person) from Star Trek) saying "All of
    humanity will be using Alpha..... and we only have Capt. Picard to
    blame."
    
                       - or - 
    
    Chevy Chase stumbling and bumbling over a room full of old DEC
    workstations, PCs, devices, etc... and finally falling flat on his
    face.  As he is laying flat on his stomach, he raises his head, looks
    into the camera and says, "I think I better get Alpha!" 

    Claudia Schiffer...
    
    
    

    Re: .28 - Grayhawk
    
    I assume (yes, I know about assume) you mean George Burns???
    
    Now that I think about it, John Denver and him (Him?) doing a bit might
    be the ticket.
    
    rww

    I don't know the name, but the developer of the STEALTH Bomber, which
    would be appropriate for our STEALTH Marketing program...

I closed my eyes and didn't read -.1. The secret is safe. Just like our
200Mhz systems that are running MS-DOS and MS-Windows in emulation right
now.

Shhhhh.

>I closed my eyes and didn't read -.1. The secret is safe. Just like our
>200Mhz systems that are running MS-DOS and MS-Windows in emulation right
>now.
    
    Problem is, it doesn't emulate it any faster than a much cheaper
    486DX/66 system that runs those programs in native mode. Until the
    speed improves or the price drops, my customers aren't interested. It's
    sorta like paying for a Ferrari and then finding that it's really got a
    4-banger under the hood. :-(
    
    Now get it to run DOS and Windows at 3 times the speed of a 66Mhz
    Pentium and we'll be selling 'em faster than we can make 'em.
    
    Harry
    

    
    re: .40 - rww
    
    	You are one perceptive human being. Surprised no one else caught
    on.
    	According to People Magazine GB is the most respected American
    alive across ALL demographics. Wouldn't THAT Ad be something?
                                                   
    		the Greyhawk

    One of my favorite Far Sides is a picture of a very futuristic city,
    with personal rockets flying everywhere and a sign on the side of this
    modern towering building that says...
    
    
    
    
    			Appearing Nightly
    
    			  George Burns
    
    								Tex

    re .44 - Greyhawk
    
    GB would be THE spokesman.  The mind boggles at all the possibilities.
    Just thinking about it fills me with wonder.  I hope the right people
    are reading.
    
    Any thoughts on how He would translate across the ocean and rest of the
    world?  I think he would do will in YK, unsure about the rest of
    Europe.
    
    rww

    Having George Burns become a spokesman for Digital would be like having
    
    
    			GOD endorse the company!
    
    tony

    Geo. Burns, center stage, cigar, etc.

    "Hi.   You probably know me.  I made a couple of movies with John
     Denver.  I'm God."

    "People have been asking me 'How'd you get to be God?'"

    "I tell 'em I saw the ad in the newspaper that if I used Digital's
     new Alpha systems then in a few weeks I be a god."

    "I did.  I am.  You can be, too.   Just don't tell John; we've got
     another movie to make."

    Fade to white mist, roll of thunder, Digital logo, tag-line.

    re: .43
    
    Got the same problem with Alpha and Windows at my customers.  In
    reality it runs in 286 mode real fast.  It benchmarks at around the
    speed of a 486/25 for Windows 16-bit apps and my customer benchmarked
    DOS applications at below a 286.
    
    Love the George Burns motif.  It's a winner!  How do we go about making
    this happen?
    
    ..Larry

     We hire George as our spokesman and he goes and gets some 18-year-old
pregnant, and then where would we be?  Maybe we should get someone who is
less frisky :-)

                                     Greg

    Pierce Brosnan has just been named as the new James Bond.  I think a
    focused marketing campaign to exploit the Bond aura and tie it into
    Alpha AXP would be a winner.
    
    [Camera opens with Pierce sitting at a director's chair on a set with a
    movie screen behind him.  Opening pictures of an actual Grand Prix Race
    is shown on the screen.]
    
    PB  "Since I've been selected as the new James Bond, I intend to make you 
    forget about Sean Connery and Roger Moore.
        "There is this new computer technology called Alpha AXP.  Why
    should you want to know about it?"
    
    [Camera focuses on screen.  Pictures of a typical '60's Grand Prix car
    and superimposed next to a 90's version.  The race shows the 90's car
    kicking butt.  Do the same with a WWII vintage fighter plane and a 90's 
    jet. Commentary by Pierce continues throughout scenes.]
        "The Alpha AXP can do things no other computer can do.  Why would
    you want to stick with yesteryear's technology when the 21st Century
    technology is here today?  
    
    [Camera comes back to Pierce, with a sly grin on his face he says:]
        "Just like I'm going to make you wonder Sean who?, Alpha AXP will
    make you say IBM who?, Hewlett Packard who?, Sun who?  
        "From the makers of the legendary VAX Computer Technology, Digital
    now has the 21st Century Technology here today.  Alpha AXP."
    
    Commercial closes with 1-800-ALPHA-AXP in burgundy and white.

  Nice scenario, Ron, but what if Pierce bombs his first time "out of the box?" 

    Dr Dan:
    
    Let's troop out a whole host of relative unknowns, like Ken Griffey,
    Jr., Akeem Alajouwan (sp?), Vince Gill, etc. and keep up that same
    theme..."I intend to make you wonder Michael Jordan who?, Bobby Bonds
    who?, Kenny Rogers who?" and tie that in by making the performance of Alpha
    AXP "say IBM who? HP who? Sun who?"   

    
    	George Burns is fast becoming the concensus choice. It would be
    fabulous. George has tremondous demographics worldwide. People stated
    that is old George and Gracie TV show has been translated into more
    languages than any other TV show ever produced. The O God movies have
    been seen everywhere.
    	For those noters in Europe, Austrailia, etc. just ask your friends
    if they have heard of that old guy comic from the US - George Burns.
    I'll bet they go bonkers. I've heard "Say Good Night, Gracie" as a
    converstaion ender in places all over the globe.
    
    	After all - God is God. Can't get a better spokesman anywhere.
    
    		the Greyhawk

He's a dirty old man -- just what we need.

    Hillary Clinton maybe or Ross Perot or Boris Yeltsin

.51>        "The Alpha AXP can do things no other computer can do.  Why would
.51>    you want to stick with yesteryear's technology when the 21st Century
.51>    technology is here today?  

Ok, I'll bite: What can the Alpha AXP do that no other computer can do?

Lee

    my reply to .49...
    Larry it will happen after I talk to my boss...
    
    (I now work in PR! ja, ja, ja.
    
    Ana Mahoney 

> Ok, I'll bite: What can the Alpha AXP do that no other computer can do?

Make my DEC stock go up.

	I hate to burst a bubble, but what makes you think Digital is
	even going to consider this type of advertising, no mind getting
	George Burns or the new James Bond to sell our stuff. It just
	doesn't happen in this company.

	This thread of notes comes by like clockwork every 6 months.
	Alot of ideas, good and bad, come out and nothing ever happens.

	Maybe expending your energy on asking those in charge what they
	intend to do would be better.

							mike

    Go Ana, Go Ana, Go Ana!
    
    Good to know someone from PR is reading this.
    
    Hey Ana, BTW what ever happened to my calandar and full size poster or
    me?
    
    ..Larry

    Beside the God angel (er... angle - bit of a slip there) for GB,
    consider the 'computing into the next century' angle.  He already is
    planning His 100 birthday party (in about 2 years) in Lost Wages, er
    Las Vegas for you East Coast people.
    
    As far as telling those in power what our ideas are; I got the
    impression that this was one way to just that.  I, for one, do believe
    that upper management is aware of what goes on in this conference to
    some detailed level at least.  If nothing else, the ideas do get a
    wider exposure much quicker than any other methos I know of within the
    company.
    
    As for putting a 18 year old 'in a family way'; well, I for one would
    cheer. :}  And if the child were a boy...  Oh the mind boggles ;} ;}
    
    But we digress...
    
    rww

    wouldn't it be something if Digital finally did listen to what we've
    been saying all these years about our lack of marketing and they struck
    a deal with say George Burns to be our spokesperson and what happens he
    goes off and dies on us????

    re: .43
    Or -
    how about adding a pentium co-processor a'la Rainbow?
    
    [dale]

    THe positive proven contemporary example is OPRAH. Become half you size
    and double your revenue.

    
    How about BOZO the clown !!!. ( just rent the Clown suit ).. We have
    plenty of spokespersons within ...
    

    
>    wouldn't it be something if Digital finally did listen to what we've
>    been saying all these years about our lack of marketing and they struck
>    a deal with say George Burns to be our spokesperson and what happens he
>    goes off and dies on us????

    The first thing to do is, film a bunch of spots with George appearing 
    translucent, making cracks about death and what-not. We then hold these 
    in reserve for use after he dies. 

    THEN we proceed to film the regular, "before-death" commercials. Could
    be controversial though. Could get a lot of attention and publicity. I
    guess that's not what we are after, huh?

    Paul

    
    	You are all on a roll. Terrific responses, covering all the bases,
    showing some real heads-up thinking. I'm impressed. maybe somebody
    should package up this whole file and drop it on Charlie Halloran's
    desk (if he is still here these days) with a note "DO IT".
    	Would that blast the troops.
    
    		the Greyhawk

    Roger Penske - Considering his outstanding record, and the
    International flavor of Gran Prix racing, it would be great to
    see Digital/Alpha logo on his cars instead of the obnoxious
    Marlboro advertisement.  
    
    Greg Norman - The world's most popular golfer would appeal to
    the highest echelon in the business community.  Call it selling
    high.
    
    Bill Clinton - He could draw comparisons between how quickly
    he changes his mind and policies, and how quickly his approval
    ratings decline with the blinding speed of Alpha.   He should
    have plenty of free time around Jan. of '97.
    
    Barney(the purple dinosaur)- If Alpha has a 25 year "life" span
    we should start gaining Young mindshare.

What about a Digital Mastercard or Visa?

Sounds silly, but I got a solicitation in the mail recently for a Digital News
& Review Gold Mastercard.  If a trade rag can do it...

Bob

Hmmm.  A Digital VISA card; and x% of your purchases could be applied toward
purchasing a Digital PC or other hardware.  Would be a first for computer
purchases I think.

    How about a series of ads that showcase Alpha's raw speed versus other
    processors. For example:
    
    - Split screen, view to front from two roller coasters. Alpha in one
      going REALLY fast. PowerPC in another going normal or slightly
      slower. Lots of "WHOA!" from the riders, maybe sped up in the Alpha
      one (like Alvin and the Chipmunks).
    
    - Shot of Indy cars clearly identified with certain processors. Show
      alpha car lapping all others several times.  
    
    - Several pitchers come up to throw their best stuff under the eye of a 
      speed gun. Each is identified with a processor. We see 90, 95, 97
      mph. Then Alpha guy gets up and throws 200mph. (Use real major league
      pitchers, but maybe the kid from 'Rookie of the Year' for Alpha.)
      Show other pitchers scratching their heads.
    
    Each of these would have a very dramatic voice-over. Maybe we can get
    James Earl Jones. These could be 15 second spots and we could do lots
    of variations on the theme. Perhaps tie-ins could be done with other 
    products (Jiffy Lube? Quick-Copy? BEL Electronics?).
    
    It was fun to think these up. It would probably be fun and effective to
    really do it. 
    
    Marty

    
    How 'bout KO?
    
    Using the AMEX angle...you may not know me but...
    
    Just brainstorming...
    
    BH

    Re .72:
>Hmmm.  A Digital VISA card; and x% of your purchases could be applied toward
>purchasing a Digital PC or other hardware.  Would be a first for computer
>purchases I think.
    
    Nope, not a first. Apple already has a deal with either Visa or
    Mastercard that lets users earn rebates on Apple products.
    
    Harry
    

    I can't believe that someone else actually picked Penske.  he turned
    Detroit Diesel around by stripping away many layers of management and
    chucking out 30% of the company.  Then focusing on customers.  NOW DD
    is hiring like gang busters and selling everything they make and have a
    100 day backlog.....
    
    They are FOCUSED....
    
    Penske has one rule you never violate (or maybe you get to do so just
    once)....Listen to the customer...do what he wants...now!
    

    Say what?
    
    George Burns dropping the Checkerd flag upon the completion
    of the Alpha/AXP 500 from Talladega...
    
    While the Alpha car wins even...

    more excellent ideas, 'specially the one exenuating the speed of Alpha
    AXP.

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offers a convenient, alternative financing tool.  A proprietary card for use  
only when doing business with Digital, credit is revolving and the annual     
rate of 16.9% is extremely competitive.                                       
                                                                              
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And only for purchases from Digital.  No, we couldn't do a REAL credit card,
we had to do one like NTW, or Goodyear:-(

Bob

    Re .79 misses the point. GM, Ford, Apple and others now have deals with
    Mastercard and Visa that allows a consumer to build a rebate account
    good only towards the purchase of the vendors equipment. You don't have
    to use the card _only_ to buy things from the vendor. For example,
    every time I go out to dinner and charge it to my GM card, GM applies
    5% of the bill to my rebate account. It's like getting free money! :-)
    
    In the last 18 months, I've managed to build up a $1,600 war chest
    towards that new Chevy Blazer I've been craving... I've done it
    just by spending money! ;-)
    
    Offering a "credit card" that's only good at one place is not quite the
    same.
    
    Harry
    

>>   <<< Note 3153.82 by USHS01::HARDMAN "Massive Action = Massive Results" >>>
>>       -< Big difference between a credit acct. and a rebate type card >-

>>    In the last 18 months, I've managed to build up a $1,600 war chest
>>    towards that new Chevy Blazer I've been craving... I've done it
>>    just by spending money! ;-)

I thought the max was $500/year for the GM card.

Garry    

Re: .80

Actually, for a captive credit line, 16.9% is very good.  Most of these
charge the maximum legal rate (21.9% or even higher in some states.)

Re: .83

I believe if you have the Gold card it's $1K/year.

Re: others

The real point is that we have to first convince the consumer that they
want to buy Digital PCs.  Most consumers have never heard of us or don't
know we make PCs.  The idea of a Digital-linked credit card, similar to
the GM or Apple cards, makes no sense at this time.

					Steve

>> Contact:                                                                      
>> Collette Knightly, DTN 264-1488, (603) 884-1488, MKO                          
                                                                              
Hey does this RING a BELL!?

  8^)    ;^)   8^)

    Re .83 Yep, the GM Gold card has a $1,000/year limit (7 years total
    limit) for normal purchases. Purchases from select businesses (MCI,
    Marriott hotels, Northwest Airlines, etc) also earn an extra 5%
    "partner" rebate. This amount can get the total for the year above the
    $1,000/year limit. I got pretty close to $1,100 the first year.
    
    It's really pretty easy to do. My wife and I charge _everything_ that
    we can. Even our grocery store takes credit cards now. We leave our
    money in the bank until the bill comes. Then after most of the 25 day
    grace period has passed, we pay the bill in full. This way we never
    incur any interest charges.
    
    For even more earnings, we'll often pay the entire tab for a large
    group at dinner. Charge the whole thing to our card, then take the
    other folks cash and put it in the bank. We get 5% back, plus get
    to earn interest on the money for a month or more. :-)
    
    Harry
    

    
    RE -.1 The SMART way to use a credit card. We (my wife and I) work this way
    too somewhat. There's another trick you didn't mention...If you have
    several credit cards, find out the closing date of each, then charge on
    the card that has the closing date that just passed. That way most of
    your charges won't be on your next bill, they will be on the following
    one. Gives you an extra month of interest in the bank. Be careful
    though, if you don't pay the bill in full they wack you with two months
    of interest.
    
    Steve B.