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Conference 7.286::digital

Title:The Digital way of working
Moderator:QUARK::LIONELON
Created:Fri Feb 14 1986
Last Modified:Fri Jun 06 1997
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:5321
Total number of notes:139771

4170.0. "Famous quotes the authors would rather forget" by NOTAPC::SEGER (This space intentionally left blank) Wed Oct 04 1995 19:40

Awhile back I saw some famous quotes circulated but can't seem to find them. 
The essence of three of them were something like: 

	the world will never need more than 5 computers
	
					Thomas Watson (founder IBM)

	there will never be a use for a computer in the home

					Ken Olsen

	... something about the telephone only being a specialty item ...

					Alexander Graham Bell

Does anybody know the EXACT quotes?  Anyone have any other along this line?

-mark

T.RTitleUserPersonal
Name
DateLines
4170.1read my lips..."No Nude Texans!"DPDMAI::EYSTERTexas twang, caribbean soulWed Oct 04 1995 20:016
    "People may laugh, people may say I'm crazy, but we're going to BALANCE
    THIS BUDGET in the next FOUR years!"
    
    						Ronald Reagan, 1980
    
    (But then again, he probably already HAS forgotten that one, hasn't he?)
4170.2here.....RDGENG::WILLIAMS_AWed Oct 04 1995 20:4519
    ... look in recent Sloan Management review.... 
    
    Olsen / Watson and some (amusing) others in there.
    
    I've used several in recent presentations.
    
    eg: quote about the telephone being of no use as a communications
    device (by some donkey in Western Union, end of last century....)
    
    eg: quote about the Beatles never being able to make it, by an exec in
    Decca Records UK who said that guitar based pop groups were going out
    of fashion (after he had just turned them down)... 
    
    
    enjoy,
    
    
    
    AW
4170.3I happened to save those quotes...DECWET::JSCHNEIDJanet SchneiderWed Oct 04 1995 22:3030
[forwards removed]

1.5 tons; is that the laptop version?

<< cut >>

The following is from the business section of The Kansas City Star, Jan 
17, 1995:

"Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons."
        - Popular Mechanics, forecasting the relentless march of
	science, 1949.

"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers."
         - Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943.

" I have traveled the length and breadth of this country and talked
with the best people, and I can assure you that data processing is
a fad that won't last out the year."
         - The editor in charge of business books for Prentice Hall, 1957.

"But what ... is it good for?"
         - Engineer at the Advanced Computing Systems Division of IBM,
	1968, commenting on the microchip.

" There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home."
         - Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of
	Digital Equipment Corp., 1977.

4170.4MSBCS::EVANSThu Oct 05 1995 13:163
"Can't sing.  Can't act.  Can dance a little."
	- An unnamed producer on Fred Astaire's screne test

4170.5NETCAD::BRANAMSteve, Hub Products Engineering, LKG2-2, DTN 226-6043Thu Oct 05 1995 15:3724
Don't know the exact quote, but supposedly when COBOL was invented, they
seriously intended for it to make programmers obsolete. Corporate managers would
be able to get their own DP done by writing their own COBOL programs (insert
gales of hysterical laughter here). Hence the verbose syntax and structure.
Admiral Grace probably knew better, though. Wonder if BP knows C++... ;)

Futurists have also done notoriously poorly with computers. Isaac Asimov, one of
the greats minds and authors of science fiction, started with the Multivac, a
building-size supercomputer that could run the world, much like D.F. Jones'
Colossus (which only ran the U.S.). Multivac grew and grew as the *one* computer
that did it all. At least he picked up on the miniaturization of componentry, so
that Multivac's tubes evolved into smaller and smaller parts, ultimately going
to a microcrystalline structure. 

Off the subject, but Asimov also had one interesting story that dealt with
computer-guided ballistic missiles. Some government wag with war-fever figured
out that the missiles could be much cheaper, lighter, and faster if they
replaced the on-board guidance computers with...drum roll... on-board people
doing calculations by hand. Much easier to loft a 150-pound human than a 10-ton
computer with associated machinery. Of course, this had some motivational
problems... This was actually a statement about the loss of basic math skills
due to automation, since the next problem was that they couldn't find people who
could do basic arithmetic without a machine, let alone were willing to go along
for the ride.
4170.6On the other handIP$16.65.80.19::S_WATTUM2 years with FTAM? Seems like 20!Thu Oct 05 1995 15:584
Don't forget though that Isaac was also the person that invented the positronic
brain, something which even STNG used.

--Scott
4170.7The captain said...ACIS01::ELARSONThu Oct 05 1995 19:023
    Don't forget what the captain of the Titanic said:
    
    "Where the h*ll is all this water coming from?!"
4170.8Don't forget how the Tipper spent our money!OHFS01::JAQUAYThu Oct 05 1995 19:516
    4170.1
    
    I seem to remember Tip O'Neil(sp?) refusing to decrease spending on
    everything but the Defense Budget !!
    
    FAJ
4170.9A digression about Asimov's storyWNOU02::JUNGFri Oct 06 1995 13:2916
    re:.5
    
    A small nit but I think you missed the point of Isaac's story. At that
    time in the future people had become so dependent on computers and
    calculators to do their work that arithmetic was no longer taught in
    schools and eventually any knowledge and skill of arithmetic had been
    forgotten. Ultimately when arithmetic was 'rediscovered' the proposal
    was to use people instead of computers in guided missiles because
    people were cheaper.
    
    His story isn't too far from the truth. On several occasions I've seen
    people use calculators to do things like divide 80,000 by 20.
    
    				Cheers,
    
    				Randy
4170.10TitlesPCBUOA::FEHSKENSlen - reformed architectMon Oct 09 1995 14:217
    
    re .5, .9 at al. - Just for the record, the Asimov stories mentioned
    are "The Last Question" and, if I recall correctly,  "The Feeling of
    Power".
    
    len.
    
4170.11An anthology of 'wet blankets' through historyCASDOC::SAVAGENeil SavageMon Oct 09 1995 14:35112
    "This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered
    as a means of communication.  The device is inherently of no value to
    us."
              -- Western Union internal memo, 1876.
    
    "The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value.  Who would
    pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?"
    
              -- David Sarnoff's associates in response to his urgings for 
                 investment in the radio in the 1920s.
    
    "The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn
    better than a "C," the idea must be feasible."
    
                            -- A Yale University management professor
                              in response to Fred Smith's paper proposing
                              reliable overnight delivery service.
                              Smith went on to found Federal Express Corp.
    
     "Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?"
    
                  -- H.M. Warner, Warner Brothers, 1927.
    
    "I'm just glad it'll be Clark Gable who's falling on his face and not
    Gary Cooper."
    
                  -- Gary Cooper on his decision not to take
                     the leading role in "Gone With The Wind."
    
    "A cookie store is a bad idea.  Besides, the market research reports
    say America likes crispy cookies, not soft and chewy cookies like you
    make."
    
            -- Response to Debbi Fields' idea of starting Mrs. Fields' Cookies.
    
     "We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out."
    
            -- Decca Recording Co. rejecting the Beatles, 1962.
    
      "Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible."
    
              -- Lord Kelvin, president, Royal Society, 1895.
    
     "If I had thought about it, I wouldn't have done the experiment.  The
    literature was full of examples that said you can't do this."
    
                 -- Spencer Silver on the work that led to the unique
                    adhesives for 3-M "Post-It" Notepads.
    
    "So we went to Atari and said, 'Hey, we've got this amazing thing, even
    built with some of your parts, and what do you think about funding us? 
    Or we'll give it to you.  We just want to do it.  Pay our salary, we'll
    come work for you.'  And they said, 'No.'  So then we went to
    Hewlett-Packard, and they said, 'Hey, we don't need you.  You haven't
    got through college yet.'"
                    
            -- Apple Computer Inc. founder Steve Jobs
               on attempts to get Atari and H-P interested
               in his and Steve Wozniak's personal computer.
    
    "Professor Goddard does not know the relation between action and
    reaction and the need to have something better than a vacuum against
    which to react. He seems to lack the basic knowledge ladled out daily
    in high schools."
    
                         -- 1921 New York Times editorial about
                            Robert Goddard's revolutionary rocket work.
    
    "You want to have consistent and uniform muscle development across all
    of your muscles? It can't be done.  It's just a fact of life.  You just
    have to accept inconsistent muscle development as an unalterable
    condition of weight training."
    
                    -- Response to Arthur Jones, who solved the
                       "unsolvable" problem by inventing Nautilus.
    
     "Drill for oil?  You mean drill into the ground to try and find oil?
    You're crazy."
    
                    -- Drillers who Edwin L. Drake tried to enlist
                       to his project to drill for oil in 1859.
    
     "I think there's a world market for about five computers."
    
                     -- Thomas J Watson, Chairman of the Board, IBM.
    
     "The bomb will never go off.  I speak as an expert in explosives."
    
                     -- Admiral William Leahy, US Atomic Bomb Project.
    
     "This fellow Charles Lindbergh will never make it.  He's doomed."
    
                     -- Harry Guggenheim, millionaire aviation enthusiast.
    
     "Stocks have reached what looks like a permanently high plateau."
    
            -- Irving Fisher, Professor of Economics, Yale University, 1929.
    
     "Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value."
    
               -- Marechal Ferdinand Foch, Professor of Strategy,
                  Ecole Superieure de Guerre.
    
     "Man will never reach the moon regardless of all future scientific
    advances."
    
         -- Dr. Lee De Forest, inventor of the vacuum tube and father of
            television.
    
     "Everything that can be invented has been invented."
                  
         -- Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, U.S. Office of Patents, 1899.
4170.12ATLANT::SCHMIDTSee http://atlant2.zko.dec.com/Mon Oct 09 1995 14:398
Len:

  Right on both counts. Among other places, they can be found in
  "Nine Tomorrows", published in hardcover and softcover and
  copyrighted in 1959. Hardcover by Doubleday, paperback by
  Fawcett Crest.
                                   Atlant

4170.13for a good laugh....STAR::jacobi.zko.dec.com::JACOBIPaul A. Jacobi - OpenVMS Alpha DevelopmentMon Oct 09 1995 16:237
I bet the Aquarius Business Plan (a.k.a. VAX 9000) would have some 
interesting quotes...


						-Paul

4170.14K.O. and home computersIROCZ::MORRISONBob M. LKG1-3/A11 226-7570Mon Oct 09 1995 16:298
>" There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home."
>         - Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of
>	Digital Equipment Corp., 1977.

  This was two years after the first home computer (Altair) came out and 
several thousand people had computers in their home. Including a few DECcies.
K.O. was out of touch with the present as well as the future. But I'm really
not surprised to see a statement from him in this collection.
4170.15Arithmetic becoming a lost artIROCZ::MORRISONBob M. LKG1-3/A11 226-7570Mon Oct 09 1995 16:3413
>    calculators to do their work that arithmetic was no longer taught in
>    schools and eventually any knowledge and skill of arithmetic had been
>    forgotten.
    
>    His story isn't too far from the truth. On several occasions I've seen
>    people use calculators to do things like divide 80,000 by 20.
    
  Talk-show host David Brudnoy told a story about this a few years ago. He was
at a fair run by high school students. He wanted to buy an item for 65 cents
and gave the student manning the table a dollar. He said "My calculator died and
I can't compute the change for you". David computed it himself in his head and
said "You owe me 35 cents". This is not an isolated incident. Many of Isaac
Asimov's predictions have come true. 
4170.16Ah, one of my pastimes!DWOMV2::CAMPBELLDitto Head in DelawareMon Oct 09 1995 19:005
    
    For enjoyment, I regularly give a higher value bill and the change
    ($10.37 for a purchase of $5.37) to sales clerks to see the look
    of puzzlement on their faces.
    
4170.17GRANPA::MWANNEMACHERNRA fighting for our RIGHTSMon Oct 09 1995 19:196
    
    
    RE: .16  It works even better if you give them something a little more
    difficult like $10.40 or something like that.  Then they have to figure
    out the cents as well as the dollars. :')
    
4170.18MU::porterobjects in server are closer than they appearMon Oct 09 1995 19:4210
>    For enjoyment, I regularly give a higher value bill and the change
>    ($10.37 for a purchase of $5.37) to sales clerks to see the look
>    of puzzlement on their faces.

	How can you see their faces?  Aren't they usually looking
	in the other direction carrying on a conversation with	
	the guy on the next register, or the bag-filler, or
	the phone, or something?


4170.19Compiling a lost artHDLITE::SCHAFERMark Schafer, Alpha Developer's supportMon Oct 09 1995 19:587
    my favorite story comes from a former boss (now retired).  While he was
    working in the Mill, a fellow came to him with a compiler problem. 
    They went to a young fellow, who took a look at the code, compiled it
    in his head, patched it in his head, and toggled in the corrected
    program.  They were amazed!
    
    The kid was Richie Lary.
4170.20GLADYS::ORMEMadVaxMon Oct 09 1995 20:1611
>                          -< Ah, one of my pastimes! >-
>
>    
>    For enjoyment, I regularly give a higher value bill and the change
>    ($10.37 for a purchase of $5.37) to sales clerks to see the look
>    of puzzlement on their faces.
>    
In Australia it is quite normal to tender the extra cents. In fact sales people
often ask 'have you the extra n cents?'

rgds ted
4170.21Doom and gloom from the tombNEWVAX::LAURENTHal Laurent @ COPMon Oct 09 1995 20:2312
re: .20

>In Australia it is quite normal to tender the extra cents. In fact sales people
>often ask 'have you the extra n cents?'

Ah, and so it also used to be in the States!  Since we seem to be (for better
or for worse) the current world trend-setters, you can probably expect this
particular cultural/intellectual decline to affect your locale within the
next ten years or so.  (I'd like to put a smiley-face here, but I don't
really think that it's funny).

-Hal
4170.22:^)ICS::BEANAttila the Hun was a LIBERAL!Tue Oct 10 1995 10:5712
  re: <<< Note 4170.17 by GRANPA::MWANNEMACHER "NRA fighting for our RIGHTS" >>>

    
    
<    RE: .16  It works even better if you give them something a little more
<    difficult like $10.40 or something like that.  Then they have to figure
<    out the cents as well as the dollars. :')
    
    Unless, of course, you are at the PKO or ZKO cafeteria... they'd just
    keep the change.
    
    tony
4170.23See The Future NowPCBUOA::FEHSKENSlen - reformed architectTue Oct 10 1995 13:2210
    
    Much of the preceding replies' discussion reminds me of a quote that
    *I'd* rather forget, given its probable correctness.  I'm only
    paraphrasing, but at some point Jim Morrison of The Doors said
    something to the effect of
    
      "In 50 years, the whole world will be like LA"
    
    len.
      
4170.24STAR::HAMMONDCharlie Hammond -- ZKO3-04/S23 -- dtn 381-2684Tue Oct 10 1995 13:4218
4170.26HELIX::WELLCOMESteve Wellcome MRO1-1/KL31 Pole HJ33Tue Oct 10 1995 13:585
    re: .19
    
    Indeed.  I had the good fortune to share an office with Richie for a
    while.  Watching him operate was pretty amazing.  I sure did learn a
    lot about programming...when I could keep up with him....
4170.27Data General QuotesPULMAN::CROSBYTue Oct 10 1995 14:208
    We're not in the PC business
    
    Ed DeCastro, 1984
    
    
    AOS/VS is a superior operating system to UNIX
    
    Tom West, 1983
4170.28ATLANT::SCHMIDTSee http://atlant2.zko.dec.com/Tue Oct 10 1995 14:328
Steve:

> Watching [Ritchie] operate was pretty amazing.

  Would that be a Group 1 Operate (CLL, CLL, etc.) or a
  Group 2 Operate (skip, etc.) ?

                                   Atlant
4170.29TUXEDO::WRAYJohn Wray, Distributed Processing EngineeringTue Oct 10 1995 14:3814
4170.30PERFOM::WIBECANAcquire a choirTue Oct 10 1995 14:5614
>>      Yes,  this is one of my favorite things, too.  Tender, say, $17.02
>>      for a sale of $11.37, for example.  The intention is to get gack a
>>      five-dollar  bill  and  no  pennies. 

Please tell me how you give the clerk $17.02 without giving him or her a $5
bill (or some set of other bills and change that total exactly $5) in the first
place.  If it's the second case, might it not be less cruel simply to ask for a
$5 in exchange for the smaller bills/change, as a separate transaction?

[If you listen closely, you'll hear Charlie working away on another example...]

:-)

						Brian
4170.31BHAJEE::JAERVINENOra, the Old Rural AmateurTue Oct 10 1995 15:005
    He gives a $17 bill, and two cents :-)
    
    (There was an arcticle in Scientific American recently about old US
    bills - some had funny nominations like $7 etc.).
    
4170.32About $17 bills :)TUXEDO::FRIDAYDCE: The real world is distributed too.Tue Oct 10 1995 15:1526
    re .31
    >>>>He gives a $17 bill, and two cents :-)
    
    Not to change the topic all too much...
    
    But there's this story going around about some
    dumb <insert favorite ethnic group here> guys that
    decided to get into the counterfeiting business.
    
    So they made up a whole bunch of $25.00 bills.  Eventually
    they realized that they had messed up and wondered how they
    could still manage to turn them into legitimate cash.
    
    "No problem" said the more intelligent guy.  "We'll
    just drive into the backwoods.  The people there are
    really ignorant, so we'll just ask for change at whatever
    stores we happen to find."
    
    Eventually they find a store in the backwoods and ask for
    change for one of their $25 bills.
    (Punch line follows...)
    
    "No problem" says the store owner.  "How about 2 7's, 2 4's
    and a 3?"
    
    
4170.33MU::porterobjects in server are closer than they appearTue Oct 10 1995 16:1017
4170.34NEMAIL::KGREENETue Oct 10 1995 16:413
    RE: .33
    
    Isn't that what spell checker and grammar checker are for? -;)
4170.35My spell-checkered past transposed to the presentNETCAD::BRANAMSteve, Hub Products Engineering, LKG2-2, DTN 226-6043Tue Oct 10 1995 19:331
Re .34 - I argue completely!
4170.36seeking the Idiot QuotientDPDMAI::EYSTERTexas twang, caribbean soulTue Oct 10 1995 21:288
>    For enjoyment, I regularly give a higher value bill and the change
>    ($10.37 for a purchase of $5.37) to sales clerks to see the look
>    of puzzlement on their faces.
    
    I thought *I* was the only on that did this!  It's best to give them a
    $10 for the $5.37, let them punch in the $10, then say "Hey, I've got
    37 cents!".
    							Tex
4170.37Enjoyment?RICKS::PHIPPSDTN 225.4959Tue Oct 10 1995 22:4217
  I am somewhat puzzled and dismayed that my fellow employees find this
  behavior enjoyable.

  	mikeP

      <<< Note 4170.36 by DPDMAI::EYSTER "Texas twang, caribbean soul" >>>
                        -< seeking the Idiot Quotient >-

>    For enjoyment, I regularly give a higher value bill and the change
>    ($10.37 for a purchase of $5.37) to sales clerks to see the look
>    of puzzlement on their faces.
    
    I thought *I* was the only on that did this!  It's best to give them a
    $10 for the $5.37, let them punch in the $10, then say "Hey, I've got
    37 cents!".
    							Tex

4170.38QUARK::LIONELFree advice is worth every centWed Oct 11 1995 00:3814
    I do it regularly as well, but I had thought I was doing the cashier
    a favor.  Recent experiences suggest otherwise - at a food vendor at
    the Bayside Expo Center in Boston, I bought two items at $4.50 each and
    two at $1.50 each.  The cashier rang the sale up as $13.50.  When I 
    questioned this, she and her coworker showed me the register receipt. 
    I had to explain in simple words that the total should have been only
    $12 (they had rung in an extra $1.50 item.)  At one point one of them
    pulled out a calculator. My 11-year-old was along and he could do the
    sum in his head (as of course could I).
    
    I fear that the world of the classic SF story "The Marching Morons" has
    come to be. (Since we've mentioned other SF stories in this thread.)
    
    					Steve
4170.39LGP30::FLEISCHERwithout vision the people perish (DTN 297-5780, MRO2-3/E8)Wed Oct 11 1995 01:0312
        I do it regularly, too, but I know that I'm not doing the
        cashier any favors (I worked in a store as a teenager, and I
        *hated* it when people did this!).

        The reason I do it now is purely for my convenience -- I'm
        avoiding having too much change in my pocket.

        (I suspect that the aptitude for math in this conference is
        decidedly above the average for sales clerks -- one doesn't
        have to resort to "dumbing down" theories to explain it!)

        Bob
4170.40ODIXIE::MOREAUKen Moreau;Technical Support;FloridaWed Oct 11 1995 02:4253
RE: .38 -<Steve Lionel>-

The Marching Morons.  What a horribly depressing story, made even more so by
the abundant evidence of its inevitability. :-(  But I base this fear more
on the down-ward spiral of people who perceive no value in education and
achievement, who then instill this in their children, who then instill an
active *dis*-like of education in *their* children, etc, etc...


RE: .39 -<Bob Fleischer>-

>        I do it regularly, too, but I know that I'm not doing the
>        cashier any favors (I worked in a store as a teenager, and I
>        *hated* it when people did this!).

Really?  When I was working as a cashier at a convenience food store I didn't
even notice when people did this.  The total was $nn.nn, they gave me $mm.mm,
and their change was $xx.xx.  There was no significance in the amount of any
of those numbers, whether the customer supplied cents or not.

And this was in 1974 and 1975, before electronic cash registers were common
(at least in the stores where I worked).  Almost all of the people who came
in were no more competent in very fast mental arithmetic than anyone else,
but after working there for a few weeks you became very quick and accurate.
There is nothing like having 6-8 people in line, all of whom are rushing
somewhere and don't want to be spending time in a grungy convenience food
store and who are getting down-right surly, to make you *real* motivated.

To this day I can keep 2 running totals in my head (taxable and non-taxable),
do subsidiary multiplications (5 candy bars at $0.19 each) which are then 
added to one of the totals, then do 4% tax on one of the totals, sum the two
values, do the subtraction on what the customer gave me, and make the correct
change.  And do it all, very quickly, and not make a mistake.  (The only
problem was that Florida changed the tax rate to 6%, which causes me to make
mistakes in the tax computation today).

But this is not bragging, because almost every person who did this job can
do the same thing!  It is just training and practice and motivation, which
is shown by the fact that I can't do division that fast: I didn't need to,
so I never practiced that.

>        (I suspect that the aptitude for math in this conference is
>        decidedly above the average for sales clerks -- one doesn't
>        have to resort to "dumbing down" theories to explain it!)

There we disagree.  There was no selection criteria for this job, and there
was a very wide variety of people who had the job, and virtually every one
of us could do this.  But today, people have electronic cash registers which
do the computation for them, so they don't need to practice, so they can't 
do the mental arithmetic.  But I bet if we had a reason to do this, almost
every person *could* develop these skills.

-- Ken Moreau
4170.41me 2 (or is that 3?)SNOFS1::POOLEOver the RainbowWed Oct 11 1995 05:2910
    When I did my undergrad studies calculators were still very expensive. 
    It took me a few months to get the cash together for one.  I did most
    of my first Stats course with pencil and paper.  When it came to Finals
    time, I intentionally left my (new) calculator in my bag.  I was
    quicker and more accurate without it.
    
    Today, I've been guilty of the 80,000/20 calculator gig.  Like anyother
    skill, numeracy (sp?) also gets rusty.
    
    Bill
4170.42guess I was "dumb" before it was fashionableLGP30::FLEISCHERwithout vision the people perish (DTN 297-5780, MRO2-3/E8)Wed Oct 11 1995 09:1031
re Note 4170.40 by ODIXIE::MOREAU:

> >        I do it regularly, too, but I know that I'm not doing the
> >        cashier any favors (I worked in a store as a teenager, and I
> >        *hated* it when people did this!).
> 
> Really?  When I was working as a cashier at a convenience food store I didn't
> even notice when people did this.  The total was $nn.nn, they gave me $mm.mm,
> and their change was $xx.xx.  There was no significance in the amount of any
> of those numbers, whether the customer supplied cents or not.

        Well, for my customers, the numbers had a lot of
        significance! :-}

        I was taught to make change by counting up from the amount
        due to the amount given, starting with counting the cents up
        to a multiple of 5.  This doesn't work at all when the
        customer gives you extra cents (well, it gives the right
        numeric answer, but also gives the customer 5 pennies -- for
        some reason they were annoyed at that)!  You can correct by
        subtracting the extra change first, but that's an extra step
        (by definition less convenient for me).

        Sorry, I never was fast enough with four-place mental
        arithmetic to just do the subtraction.  I'd guess that my
        customers weren't "motivating" enough.  (But then I was
        deeply offended when David Stone said that a good software
        engineer should play chess or go -- perhaps I don't belong
        here, but I don't belong as a sales clerk, either. :-)

        Bob
4170.43BAHTAT::DODDWed Oct 11 1995 11:4312
4170.44Who is the famous grocer and what was his quote?HELIX::SONTAKKEWed Oct 11 1995 12:224
    How did we descend upon grocery sales clerk while talking about the
    famous quotes by famous person?
    
    - Vikas
4170.45TP011::KENAHDo we have any peanut butter?Wed Oct 11 1995 12:278
    >How did we descend upon grocery sales clerk while talking about the
    >famous quotes by famous person?
    
    Welcome to NOTES -- the permutations of this particular string are both
    common and typical, and most likely are the type that drove the ETHICS
    folks to distraction.  (Of course, you already knew this, Vikas.)
    
    					andrew
4170.46How about currency conversionsFBEDEV::GLASERWed Oct 11 1995 14:4812
    What is even more fun is doing currency conversions at the cash
    register.
    
    On both sides of the Texas-Mexican border, you run into the situation
    where part of the tab is paid in US currency and the other part is paid
    in Mexican currency.  Then to make things even more fun, Mexican
    currency comes in two flavors - Peso Nuevo and Peso Viejo.
    
    I get hoplessly lost without figuring things out on a piece of paper
    but my mathophobic mom does it in her head.  Geesh.
    
    -David
4170.47Quick do it in base 8CXXC::REINIGThis too shall changeWed Oct 11 1995 15:024
    The English used to routinely convert between different bases when
    doing change, back before they decimalized the pound.
    
                                            August
4170.48... just another one of the bunch ...MEMIT::CIUFFINIGod must be a Gemini...Wed Oct 11 1995 15:0815
    >>                  <<< Note 4170.44 by HELIX::SONTAKKE >>>
    >>             -< Who is the famous grocer and what was his quote? >-
    >>
    >>    How did we descend upon grocery sales clerk while talking about the
    >>    famous quotes by famous person?
    >>
    >>    - Vikas
    
    Vikas,
    
    I've forgotten his name ( if I ever knew it ) but the quote was:
    
    "Yes, we have no bananas"
       
    jc  
4170.49NETCAD::BRANAMSteve, Hub Products Engineering, LKG2-2, DTN 226-6043Wed Oct 11 1995 15:095
Re .44 - "My kingdom for a horse." He planned to give two heads of cabbage in
change. He also probably wished he hadn't been so rash to trade the whole lot in
for a single steed.

Hope this helps!
4170.50Following the spirit (not the letter) of the discussionBBPBV1::WALLACEReservedWed Oct 11 1995 15:463
    Here's one I wish the author would revive:
    
    "We're going to re-engineer the whole customer value chain".
4170.51... bananas in Scranton, PA...PCBUOA::PEACOCKFreedom is not free!Wed Oct 11 1995 16:139
   re: .48
    
>>    I've forgotten his name ( if I ever knew it ) but the quote was:
>>    
>>    "Yes, we have no bananas"

   Why, that was Harry Chapin, of course...  :-)
   
   - Tom
4170.52Not nickel-dime-quarter-impairedFUNYET::ANDERSONWhere's the nearest White Castle?Wed Oct 11 1995 16:425
Someone who'd be confused receiving $5.43 for a $3.43 purchase would *really* be
startled by someone like me, who spend half dollars, dollar coins and two-dollar
bills on a regular basis.

Paul
4170.53LLBeanABACUS::JANEBSee it happen =&gt; Make it happenWed Oct 11 1995 19:3210
    (please excuse the quick digression to the original topic)
    
    When I worked at LLBean (corporate offices, 400 people in the company
    in 1976), the line from (the three guys in) Marketing was 
    		"We will never have an 800 number".
    
    Telephone orders were just not worth the trouble, you see, and never
    would be.
    
    (and now back to change-making in grocery stores)
4170.54A different wrinkle on cashiers and mathGVA02::DAVISWed Oct 11 1995 19:4010
To continue the cashier rathole...

I once went through the grocery checkout line and had a total of 
$9.50.  I handed the clerk a  10-dollar bill and a coupon 
for 35 cents.  She handed me 15 cents.  I pointed out that she had added 
in the coupon amount.  She said she was sorry and handed me another 35 
cents.  I said that now I'd like the 35 cents for the coupon.  She 
looked at me very angrily and refused to give it to me - obviously, I 
was trying to cheat her.  I finally had to call the manager over to 
straighten out the arithmetic.
4170.55DRDAN::KALIKOWDIGITAL=DEC: ReClaim TheName&amp;Glory!Wed Oct 11 1995 22:089
    (Pardon the self-serving recollection but that gem from LLBean anent
    the 800# brought this to mind... it really DID happen... last Winter)
    
    Here's another that I predict that the author (never to be identified)
    will come to rue even more in the coming months...  assuming they even
    remember they said it... to wit --
    
    "Workgroup Web Forum?  Why should we support graffiti on the Internet?"
    
4170.56The most un-welcome visitor since King KongWHOS01::JAUNGDave Bowers @WHOThu Oct 12 1995 14:096
    A few weeks ago, the House Speaker Newt Gingrich assaulted New York
    City as "waste of culture" and then visited three days latter.  People
    in NYC certainly did not appreciate his remarks neither his visit.  
    One person in the local radio station called Mr. Gingrich:
    
    "The most un-welcome visitor since King Kong"
4170.57CSC32::MORTONAliens, the snack food of CHAMPIONS!Thu Oct 12 1995 18:575
    
    Re .56:
    	It just proves that you can't please everybody all the time.
    
    Jim Morton
4170.58Find a harder problemDECCXX::AMARTINAlan H. MartinFri Oct 13 1995 01:226
Re .47:

>                           -< Quick do it in base 8 >-

Not a problem for Real Programmers.
				/AHM
4170.59CADSYS::RITCHIEElaine Kokernak Ritchie, 225-4199Fri Oct 13 1995 14:126
re: .56

Gee, and Newt just this week said of Bill Clinton, "You can't tell a girl she's
ugly every day of the week and expect her to go to the prom on Friday".

:-)
4170.60.57 Not quite right!PCBUOA::RIPLEYFri Oct 13 1995 18:017
    
    
    	Re .57
    		That isn't right, there was a government sponsored
    	study conducted about 5 years ago that proved that You CAN
        fool all the people all the time!  Your money and how it's
    	spent...
4170.61HELIX::WELLCOMESteve Wellcome MRO1-1/KL31 Pole HJ33Tue Oct 17 1995 17:555
    re: .60
    
    Actually, I think the relevant quote is, "You can fool some of the
    people some of the time, and that is sufficient."
    
4170.62And justify the expense.NETCAD::COLELLATue Oct 17 1995 21:227
    
>"There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home."
>         - Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of
>	Digital Equipment Corp., 1977.
    
    Ok, so what exactly could you do with a home computer in 1977?
    
4170.63WRKSYS::DUTTONThere once was a note, pure and easy...Tue Oct 17 1995 21:412
    write an operating system and become a multi-billionaire?
    
4170.64BHAJEE::JAERVINENOra, the Old Rural AmateurWed Oct 18 1995 08:068
    re .61:
    
    You _can_ fool some of the people _all_ of the time...
    
    In fact, I think the full version is "You can fool all of the people
    some of the time, and  you can fool some of the people all of the
    time, but you can't fool all of the people all of the time."
    
4170.65PERFOM::WIBECANAcquire a choirWed Oct 18 1995 12:365
Re: .60, .61, .64 re: .57

But .57 was about *pleasing* all the people, not fooling them.

						Brian
4170.66AXEL::FOLEYRebel without a ClueWed Oct 18 1995 14:156
RE: .63

	Or better yet, pratically steal a poor excuse for an operating
	system and become a multi-billionaire.

								mike
4170.67HELIX::WELLCOMESteve Wellcome MRO1-1/KL31 Pole HJ33Wed Oct 18 1995 17:524
    re: .64
    Yes, that (or something close to is) was the original; I prefer the 
    variant I gave in .61.
    
4170.68the original is always the bestPOLAR::HOLTSCHNEIBThu Oct 19 1995 16:2912
    
    
     If you once forfeit the confidence of your
    fellow citizens, you can never regain their
    respect and esteem. It is true that you may
    fool all the people some of the time; you
    can even fool some of the people all of the
    time; but tou can't fool all the people all 
    of the time.
    
      Abraham Lincoln
    
4170.69Corporate QuoteOHFS01::JAQUAYThu Oct 19 1995 16:5312
    How about this one:
    
    "Hi, I'm from Corporate and I'm here to help. . . the customer with
    his problem. You folks on the account team[lived with the customer for
    5 years) don't understand".
    
    Arghhhhhhhhhhhh !!
    
    Floyd
    
    
    
4170.70TMAWKO::BELLAMYShovelheads forever!Thu Oct 19 1995 18:015
    
    
    "We have met the enemy ... and he is us."
    
    -Pogo
4170.71re .70...one of my personal favorites!DPDMAI::EYSTERTexas twang, caribbean soulThu Oct 19 1995 18:271
    
4170.72640 KRANGER::HUTZLEYIYTSIO,YHHMTue Nov 14 1995 16:3015



               "640 Kilobytes is enough for anybody..."

               (probably paraphrased)

               Who Wazzit?

               

               Bill Gates.


4170.73ICS::BEANAttila the Hun was a LIBERAL!Wed Nov 15 1995 10:464
    and, at the time, it was.
    
    (c. 1980)