Conference 7.286::digital

    
     I haven't heard this one . I would think I would have if it was true
    as I work out of Santa Clara.
    

    There is some mail floating around to this effect. The date of the
    first note in the chain is 1 APR 1993, and the tongue in cheek tone of
    the text leads me to believe it's just an April Fool's message.
    
    Were it serious it should have overshadowed the Mill closing in the
    news last week.
    
    Thorgan

    I was just forwarded a memo via "chou@riscee.pko.dec.com".  Here's the
    text:
    
    YORKTOWN - International Business Machines, well known for their
    large-scale computing systems, today announced it has signed a letter
    of intent to purchase Sun Microsystems, a producer of smaller computers
    known as "workstations", for an undisclosed amount.
    
    In a prepared statement an IBM spokesperson said thatlackluster sales
    of their RS/6000 line, a direct competitor with Sun's SPARC computers,
    triggered the deal.  "We haven't been competing very well in the
    low-end computer marketplace and we decided that purchasing an low-end
    existing product, sales structure, said the spokesman.  "We'd been
    considering such a purchase for the last year or so but Mr. Akers
    wouldn't approve it.  Mr. Gerstner thought it was a great way to turn
    us around and immediately had us complete the deal."  Akers was IBM's
    former CEO who was ousted recently and replaced with Louis Gerstner,
    Jr., formerly of RJR Nabisco.
    
    IBM's RS/6000 line, introduced in February 1991, sold unexpectedly well
    for the first year after its release.  Sales dropped significantly as
    other workstation vendors, particularly Hewlett Packard, offered faster
    products at lower prices.  According to IBM 1992 workstation sales
    weere far lower than expected, contributing in part to IBM's poor 1992
    financial results......
    
    Details on the agreement are expected to be available next week.
    
    So, valid ???? only time will tell.  But isn't that an interesting
    scenerio....

    if the press release in .3 isn't a hoax then IBM has laid off all its
    publicity people and engineers are writing the companies press
    releases.

        .-1
    >if the press release in .3 isn't a hoax then IBM has laid off all its
    >    publicity people and engineers are writing the companies press
    >    releases.

    oh yea! well like just to let you know engineers can write better press
    than any one in the whole wide world too and engineers can do it too
    but no one give them the chances before to do it and that is why they 
    usually dont do it plus what is such a big deal about
    writing a press releases any way? it can't be harder than C++ or ADA
    and if the engineer can write good code they can write some press
    releases too and many a times engineers becomes high visible in the
    cooperations just because of their good press releases writings
    for their products and this is how they advanced to top managements
    positions if they want to plus if you dont have engineers to make
    products you dont need press releases any way and i always thought
    that the engineers are the better ones to do the press releases any way
    because they know the product than any one else for that matter and
    can answer any related questions and issues on it.

    like it is a big deal to write a press release or something.

    engineers can do press releases.

    \nasser

    Re .5:
    
    I'm sure that writing press releases isn't more difficult that writing
    C++ or Ada code, but it is very, very, very different, and the
    respective expertise isn't necessarily transferable.  I would never
    attempt a technical press release without an engineer's help, but I
    would never expect an engineer to produce a finished release.
    
    Among the things I lament the most is the degree to which our
    educational system for languages has failed us.  Not only do very few
    people write really well any more, but fewer and fewer among us even
    recognize the difference between good and bad writing.  As an expertise 
    and as a profession, therefore, writing has become ever more devalued,
    and the language itself has suffered.
    
    So much for the digression.
    
    Mac
    
    PS:  By the way, this company does produce some really poor press
    releases, along with the better ones.

    The press release is clearly a hoax.

    This may not be conjecture anymore...somebody just walked by and said
    that IBM just announced that they are buying Sun...waiting for the
    press release.
    
    Dalip

    I have checked with the Library.  There is nothing on LIVEWIRE, VOGON
    news, or the Wall Street Journal.  So it is not true!
    
    Yet so many people who read it think it is......
    
    So my advice is, please do not send this message around until you see
    it from an "official" source.
    
    Just my 2 cents.
    

	I received this mail on April 1 and there *was*
	a comment on the bottom saying:

'hope you're enjoying the "April 1" foolery.
8^)

	I don't know if someone stripped this part
	intentionally or not.

Akira

    I agree with .10. Doesn't anybody know what April 1st is?
    
    

    I believe that April fools jokes are concidered a big deal at Sun.
    Playing them is part of the corporate culture. So I wouldn't trust
    anything from or about Sun that comes out on April 1st.
    
    			Alfred

       I saw a piece on the evening news on the April fools jokes that are
    played at SUN and they said this type of activity was tolerated and
    even encouraged.This year they removed an entire wall and drove a Porsche
    911 into an office.They then placed a huge aqaurium on top of the car
    complete with water/fish.They then sealed the wall back up.In another
    year they somehow floated a sports car in the company pond.Another case
    involved turning a complete office into an aqaurium complete with a
    rather large shark.
    
                                       Rich

re: .13

From a friend at Sun:  It seems that the Porsche was disabled the night 
before.  Security was notified in advance not to help him.  His garage was 
also notified in advance not to help him.  Attached is the "official" press 
release on this event.
____________________________

To:	beemer::fusci
CC:	
Subj:	SUNSTRUCK FLASH: SUNTANK ANNOUNCES SuperSHARK CARRERA CLASSIC

Just got back from this event. They took out the windows, knocked down a wall
and put the guy's Porche in his office (with a fish tank full of small sharks--
the SPARCstation 10 was code-named shark).  Overall, it was pretty good.  
If you have a chance, check out today's WSJ they ran an article on Sun's
April fool's day tradition. 

----- Begin Included Message -----

From press@relations.Corp Thu Apr  1 10:29:20 1993
Errors-To: retmail@tehilliah.Sun.COM
Confirmed-By: Mail Confirm Daemon on Mailhost
To: allsun@relations.Corp
Subject: SUNSTRUCK FLASH: SUNTANK ANNOUNCES SuperSHARK CARRERA CLASSIC
Errors-To: retmail@Sun.COM
Content-Length: 4420
X-Lines: 88

-+This message has been approved for distribution to this alias+-
	

		SUNTANK ANNOUNCES NEW OFFICE WORKSTATIONS

		SuperSHARK CARRERA CLASSIC UNVEILED TODAY

SunTank, a division of SunStruck, Inc., today announced the availability 
of a high performance portable computing system designed for the small 
office environment -- the SuperSHARK Carrera Classic. The new system, based 
on the Convertible Office Submersible Environment (COSE) specification, 
was unveiled this morning in the Mountain View office of company founder, 
Andreas Fish Bechtolshiem.

"This technology is an enhanced version of our SHARKstation product 
line. It shows our total commitment to 32-bite commuting and powerful 
hardware," said Bechtolshiem. "And it's my favorite color, too."

The heart, or rather guts, of the system lie in its 120-Megabuck
SuperSHARK processor chip. Despite being a much smaller version of the 
7-gill processor in the original SHARKstation 1 machine, the new 
SuperSHARK is ferocious enough to destroy its closest competitors in 
seconds.  Today the SuperSHARK was demonstrated performing at an 
astounding 100-tetrabites per second.

The true beauty of the new SuperSHARK system is in its European-engineered 
Carrera packaging. The sleek, aerodynamic chassis is built for high 
maneuverability and has a convenient user interface. "We are delighted that 
the SuperSHARK chip can deliver so much power to our stylish exterior," 
commented Hans EinFranz, project manager for Pisce, the German 
hardbody manufacturer that co-designed the Carrera Classic with 
Bechtolshiem. With a full 200 gallon tank capacity, front and rear 
wheel stabilizers, and roomy plexiglass interior, the SuperSHARK 
Carrera Classic office workstation is truly a user's dream of high 
functionality at a low price. (Suggested retail: $7995, tax, license, 
and dealer-installed Cabriolet top extra. Non-discountable.)

No hardware system is complete without a robust operating 
environment.  The SuperSHARK-powered Carrera system runs Windows ET 
from SunSlosh, a sister company of SunTank. "The WET environment 
puts a whole new motif on transparent, distributed hydrokinetic computing," 
said Ned Zander, president and chief perch at SunSlosh. "Of course, 
no one really knows what that means, but it sounds good. 
Let's just say - the system goes fast, and it's powerful."

At the bottom of the SuperSHARK system is SunLinks, a set of 
ground-level user tools for increased office productivity. The compact 
SunLinks course adds even more stability and entertainment value 
to the Carrera office system.

Initial market reaction for the SuperSHARK and the related technologies 
has been remarkably favorable. "I saw a beta version, and I had to 
have one in my office immediately," commented Lotty Varey, 
Bechtolshiem's neighbor.

SunStruck executive Sturgeon McReely noted, "It's the ultimate 
driving machine. Oh no, that's the other German guys. Anyway, 
it's what I've been trying to develop all along - a computer
that's as easy to use as driving a car."

"This is the pinnacle of the series that I foresaw years ago," 
commented Wilhelm Glad, former user of an on-pond system.

Depending on further market acceptance, the SunTank team may introduce 
an AstroSHARK server version later this summer.

        P		Copyright 4.1.93 SunTank, the totally dependent
       N O		and finally retired business unit of SunStruck, Inc.
      I   N		SunStruck, SunDunk, SunPuck, SunTank, and the 
     E     D		OFFICE* logo are trademarks of SunStruck, Inc.
    C       I		SuperSHARK is a registered trademark of SHARK
   I         N		Intergalatic, Inc. The SHARK technology is based
  F           C		on a tradition first developed by the SunKit
 F             A	Racing Team who taught us all that "Friends don't 
O               R	let friends have the keys to their car."
 *             O
  N           N		For an open look at the new SuperSHARK Carrera
   I         G		Classic convertible office environment, stop by
    E       O		building 17 in Mountain View, or call Andy
     S     L		Bechtolshiem at 800-IT-BITES.
      R   F
       U C		To commemorate this announcement, t-shirts
	O		will be on sale at local cafeterias on April 1
			and 2 (while supplies last) and afterwards through
			SunWare for a limited time ($10/shirt, $12 XXL).

NOTE: for best viewing, use the southern entrance to Bldg 17, near
Bldg 15 or Great Bytes (B16).


----- End Included Message -----

RE: .14

>> said Bechtolshiem. "And it's my favorite color, too."

	Sure it wasn't burgandy?

RE: .6

>>    I'm sure that writing press releases isn't more difficult that writing
>>    C++ or Ada code, but it is very, very, very different, and the

	Yea, you write it all up one night and look at it the next morning
	and say "What moron wrote this drek?" (I could say more at this
	point, but I think I won't)

						mike

    
>	and say "What moron wrote this drek?" (I could say more at this
>	point, but I think I won't)

    hi Mike,

    what is drek please? i assume it is like code or program? i looked it 
    up and could not drek in the dictionary.

    is this a massusususustees slang of some sort?

    and please say more, we really like to know, it is ok.

    thanks
    \nasser

	Drek, crap, junk, etc... All the same..

						mike

    That's "dreck," I think it's either German or Yiddish.

    And Nasser, if you don't know what it means, just think about the
    "Highly Advanced Risk Architecture" we almost sold.  And how it would
    have played in your home town.

	Whatever.. I'm Irish.. My Yiddish is very rusty..

						mike

|-< usually preceded by "schtick", for "piece of" >-

Or Star.   :-)

    Fwiw,
    Dreck is German as well; as in "Hey du Dreck Sau" (hey you sh*t pig!)
    
    Leon