Conference 7.286::digital

Just a pamphlet?  Not a video, like with SAVE?  I think Lily Tomlin would be
a natural for the video.

Well, given all the flap over the 800/900 number just recently
I fear what these new standards might be. :*)


"Whatever it takes , we're here to service your needs"

liesl

    I believe the new corporate standard will be:
    
    Hello you have reached Digital Equipment, if you are calling from a
    touch tone phone, please press 1 NOW, if you are .......

    And I thought the corporate FAX cover sheet was wading dangerously into
    minutiae...

    Wait don't tell me...
    
    No, we will not accept that collect call.

    Ah, the Brand Communications Group is up to it again.  Apparently
    they grew tired of changing the Alpha logo every three months and
    deciding whether the "AXP" really belongs there or not, and have
    moved on to new and different challenges.
    
    If this entire group were TFSO'd tomorrow, would ANYBODY, including
    customers, miss their contributions?  kb 

    Just be grateful that we only do business in the US.  If we did
    business in other countries we may find that there are cultural
    differences in telephone manners.
     

	You mean I won't be allowed to answer the phone with:

	"Joe Nemo's, Foot Long Hot Dogs!"

	anymore?

							mike

    Just think about how many committees had to meet for how many hours to
    come up with a telephone answering document. Meetings to dream up the
    idea, to 'flesh it out' to 'review it'. And now distribution. Maybe
    some training sessions.
    
    And a couple notes back I read about an 800# person with 15 customer
    waiting in que. We have laid off most of the CSC people that support
    the field, and most of the service and sales people that call on customers.
    
    and we still have someone with time to develop such tiriva!
    
    

    RE: .8 
        Just be grateful that we only do business in the US.  If we did
        business in other countries we may find that there are cultural
        differences in telephone manners.
    
    no the don't think that far ahead.. according to corporate, we are just
    one big large company that resides in the gool old u.s.a
    
    Stephen Thompson
    digital australia
    

          ...were the Jerky Boys brought in as consultants?  

    Good Morning,
    
    This is Digital Equipment Corporation,
    Leaders in Client/Server Networked Solutions,
    Providing the highest price/performance with our
    industry leading Alpha Generation systems.
    Our motto is that We Will Do Whatever it Ta...
    
    Hello? Hello? Anybody There?....

    .0 talks about worldwide - someone probably forgot again the huge
    cultural differences... the way people answer their phones, say, in the
    US, may sound totally ridiculous in some other country. Or will the
    guideline contain ~100 national varieties?

    
    Please use the previously mentioned automatic language translation
    software to provide local language versions of this phone policy.
    
    If nothing else, our callers may smile a little.
    
    How do you say 'Foot long hot dogs' in Japanese I wonder.....
    
    AW

Hmmm.  I frequently get calls from different parts of the world on my phone.
Now, we've already discussed that a greeting used for the U.S. probably
won't be appropriate for other areas of the universe, but in order for me
to implement this, I'm going to need caller-id on my phone.  This will in
turn need to be tied to a database running on a fairly fast machine, so it
can look up the number and tell me where in the world the call came from,
and even better, should probably provide the specific text to use on a pop-up
window.

Yeah, the more I think about this, the better I like it.
--Scott

	Cool.  What about phones lines that we have a contractual 
obligation to answer in a "non-Digital standard" fashion?  I assure
you they exist.  

	In the support arena we sometimes are subcontractors to 
other support vendors and they don't want their customers to know
that they've outsourced part of the operation.  They want it to 
appear seamless to the customer (what a concept).  In those cases, 
we are FORBIDDEN to answer the phone with the word "digital".

	What a crock of excrement!  

Tracey 

    
    The simplest method of delivery would have been to attach the 
    n-page memo to the mail we all received. However, perhaps there
    is another agenda. Perhaps we not met our paper recycle quota 
    for the month. :-)
    
    In the paraphrased words of Groucho, 
    
     It may be an instruction pamphlet, but you can always tele-a-phony.
     
    jc
    p.s. More evidence that Dick Lennard may have been right.

It'll be white shirts, ties and blue suits.
Oops, never mind, that one's already be done (and recently abandoned)

							Trace

Well, frankly, I'm not about to embrace any standard that

a) doesn't have provisions for handling greetings in the local region of
   the galaxy (assuming this company is still in business at that point in
   time)

b) doesn't have an ISO number

c) doesn't have any means of conformance testing

I haven't seen this pamphlet, and in all seriousness, if it as bizarre as some
people fear it will be, how are they going to enforce it?

I can see it now.  TFSOd simply for answering the phone incorrectly.  Oh my
gawd, he spoke with a Southern drawl (or other dialect).

    	Why don't they simply buy every employee an answering machine and
    provide along with it, a "digital approved tape". I can hear it now...Just
    imagine all the possibilities!!
    
    		

    I know when HP was stumbling (1986), they developed a telephone class.
    All employees had to attend the 1/2 day training. It was aimed at 
    handling customers. When I came to Digital, I was appalled at the way
    some people hear talked to customers on the phone. I don't know what 
    this pamphlet is all about, but the training they did at HP didn't
    hurt.
    
    

    	Training won't hurt. Standards might. Training is normally
    conducted locally in the local language by someone who has some
    familiarity with the local culture. This allows for a lot of local
    interpretation. I know many English who wince when an American says
    "Have a nice day", and that is within the same language. Imagine what
    such standardisation might do in other cultures. I deliberately gave
    the Munich example since that is regarded as somewhat unusual even in
    other parts of Germany only a few hundred miles away.

RE: .31

	I don't think it's the fact that some could learn to talk
	better on the phone that is bothering everyone. I think it's
	the fact that THIS is not the wisest way for Digital to be
	spending its money right now.

	I'd rather have 10 more people on the phone at the CSC helping
	customers than some yahoo in some "Corporate" office doing
	empire building by coming up with this drivel.

	A simple email from Bob saying "In these tough times, it's
	time to think even more about phone manners when talking to
	customers. Do the right thing" would have saved alot of
	time, hassle, and not to mention probably over $50,000. I 
	don't need a glossy for this!


						mike

Hey, aren't we living with all this marvelous computer technology. Let's use
it. In that way, we can adapt it to anybody. Something like:

"hello, if you hear this message , press 1 "

(No press means that the person is deaf, and we can send him a personalised
 form by snailmail)

to continue with:

"if you understand this message, press 2"

(When no press, go into the branch that asks for French, German, Italian,etc.)

256 selections further....

"if you want to have a Digital greeting , press 2345"

(Otherwise the guy will get something like "Hi, you are connected to the
 RIGHT department")

Than we can even further customize with things like:

"Do you want a male/female greeting. press ...."
"Do you want background music...."

I am sure that there must be a PABX and some smart programmers that can handle
this. Any takers...

Timo

    re .32
    
    OK, I have to know - what's the problem with the phrase "Have a
    nice day" if you're from England?
    

    I'm English and it makes me wince when I hear it too. It's a little
    difficult to explain, it truly is a cultural thing, but perhaps the
    fact that it's insincere crap lies at the bottom of it. 99% of the time
    the utterer of the phrase couldn't give a toss whether I have a nice
    day or not, and I know that.
    
    Cheers, Laurie.

       <<< Note 3702.36 by PLAYER::BROWNL "An Internaut in CyberSpace" >>>

>>    the utterer of the phrase couldn't give a toss whether I have a nice
                                ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Do you really want them to throw up?

:-). couldn't resist!

re Have a nice day

I'm reminded of the story that the movie title "Free Willy" just didn't
have quite the same meaning in England as it did in the U.S.

but I digress.

    
    	Having spent several months working in England -1 is my best laugh
    	of the day. Thanks.
    
    		the Greyhawk

I'm American and "Have a nice day" makes me wince too.

    OK, have a lousy day then ... :_)
    

RE: .41 -<OK, have a lousy day then ... :_)>-
    
How do I know you are any more sincere about that sentiment than the people
who wish you a nice day?  :^)

-- Ken Moreau
   (who usually finishes conversations with "See you later" but realizes
    that even this is not assured)

    This is rich... now that I've mostly stopped laughing, my
    reply to those who were paid to design, authorize, distribute,
    etc., this condescending bit of trivial conformity is:
    
    	Your chances of successfully getting me to answer the
    	telephone in a manner specified by anyone other than
    	myself are approximately equal to your chances of telling
    	me how to comb what's left of my hair.  But, do enjoy the
    	promotions and raises.
    
    Chris

    
    one word for this.. UNBELIEVABLE!
    
    After all of the suffering that this company has gone through (both
    self inflicted and otherwise), it is absolutely amazing to me that
    someone would actually have the unmitigated gall to publish this
    gratuitous rubbish and then have the audacity to sign their name to
    it???!!@@$$$!@@!!
    
    In case you thought we as a company have turned the corner, guess
    again!
    

    re .35 et al.
    
    American McBurger assistant:
    "Have a nice day"
    
    English McBurger consumer:
    "Look, I'll have whatever kind of a day I want, thank you very much.
     What has it got to do with you..."
    
    
    
    
    I suppose the main point is English types just don't take the thin
    veneer of fake 'interest' that Have A Nice Day suggests. Hope this
    helps.
    
    
    
    'have a lousy day now'
    
    
    AW

re: Note 3702.44 by NPSS::PASQUALE 

"...it is absolutely amazing to me that someone would actually have
the unmitigated gall to publish this gratuitous rubbish..."

I must have missed it. What was published? I share the concern re:
micromanagement but I was going to wait until I had something to
comment on before I commented.

Did I miss something, or is all of this ire based on speculation?

Pete

I really hope its John Cleese's video on Telephone use .. anxiously waiting.

>Per

    re back a few.. 
    
    i have yet to see the actual published document so i can't comment on 
    its content. But i do believe that to spend even a dollar on this sort
    of thing and trumpet its importantance indicates to me that there are
    people still in this company who are perfectly willing to waste time
    and money on such a trivial thing. This to me is unconscionable.
    

I think the problem is real and it'd be interesting to choose 5 names
at random from the Digital phonebook (and maybe three that are public,
like PCBYDEC, a CSC or two, and a field office or two), call them and
write down how they answered the telephone. Do that same thing at HP,
IBM, or anywhere else you can get hold of some telephone numbers.

Present the results in here (no names) and see if change is needed.

    .49 misses the point.  I think many may agree we could improve on the
    way we answer our phones, and whether HP or IBM does better or worse
    isn't important, we need to be better.
    
    The problem is the way we choose to be better.  We spend corporate
    money to drive a standard throught the world.  I would imagine that in
    Wolfgang Schmitt's company (Rubbermaid, the most admired company), the
    corporate group, at its most directive, would tell the countries or
    regions that they wish to improve the consistancy of how telephones are 
    answered, 
    
    tell them the goals to be met, 
    
    and tell them to report back that they have done it.  
    
    Maybe, but this is fantasy, they would even trust the same managers in 
    each region that they trust with millions of dollars of expense budget, 
    to check on the phones and see if anything needs to be done.  And not 
    even have them report back.
    
    

".49 misses the point.  I think many may agree we could improve on the
way we answer our phones, and whether HP or IBM does better or worse
isn't important, we need to be better."

         Agree. I fell off the path. The point I wanted to make is
         that improvement is needed, and one who doesn't think so
         should test the system.
    
"...tell the countries or regions that they wish to improve the
consistancy of how telephones are  answered, ... tell them the goals
to be met..."

         Perhaps that's precisely what this forthcoming communication
         is about. Wouldn't that be refreshing?!

         Pete

    I feel the phone answering problem is way bigger than we think. 
    However, I don't think sending out a brouchere giving us helpful hints
    is going to solve anything and its a big waste.  I think this came
    about because Digital wants consistency and so forth which is a good
    idea, but its impossible when they keep changing the names of
    everything or have names no one except the people in that group can
    identify with.  For example, when I first came here I worked in the
    "Digital Response Center"  a few months later it was "Digital Customer
    Service" (which really confused everybody because we weren't the final
    stopping ground for *all* customer service) and then finally we were
    "Digital Multivendor Services".   Our jobs did not change-- our phone
    number did not change.  I only worked in that group about 22 months. 
    You can imagine the confusion of the same customers who called in that
    22 months.  Our style of answering the phone was always friendly and so
    forth, but there can't be any consistency until Digital figures out
    what everything should be called and leaves it alone.  
    
    RS

From:	VMSVTP::S_WATTUM "Great balls of fire!  17-Feb-1995 0743 -0700"
17-FEB-1995 07:44:17.53
To:	nac::
CC:	S_WATTUM
Subj:	Telephone greetings - is this the party to whom i'm speaking?

Bill,

With the advent of the corp. telephone greeting standard (who comes up with 
this stuff), it becomes very apparent to me that I will need some additional
features for my office phone, specifically, I will need caller-id.

On any given day, I can receive phone calls from just about anywhere in the
world.  I think it would be very rude to greet these people with a standard
phrase which was only appropriate for someone in the GMA (in fact, it occurs
to me that there must be a wide variety of accepted greetings even within
the area that GMA normally is considered to encompass, i'm sure that a greeting
which would be typical for say, downtown Boston, would probably not be
appropriate for the suburban area around LKG, but I digress).

It also occurs to me (admittedly without having actually seen the standard),
that the telephone greeting standard would attempt to take into account the
wide diversity which exists within the confines of this rather small planet
(in fact, one would hope that this standard would also have given some thought
to future enhancements, which would allow it to function within our local
region of the galaxy, assuming of course, Digital as a company still exists
at the point in time such enhancements would be necessary).  With this in mind,
and knowing that my telephone can receive calls (currently) from anywhere on
the planet, well, I'm going to need to know who's calling me in order to
greet them appropriately.

Clearly, conformance is going to be an issue.  I anticipate the possibility of
a rising scale of penalties which may be imposed on would be phone answerers
for answering the phone with an inappropriate greeting.  I would also like
to suggest that some recognition program be implemented for those employees
who pass conformance testing, possibly a gift certificate for a lobotomy, or
something equally appropriate.  In order for me to be fully conformant/compliant
with this standard and to avoid the possibility of retributive action on the
part of the company, caller-id on my office phone will be manditory (with your
approval of course).

I just want to let you know, that personally, I am very excited to see this
bold new move on the part of Digital.  Clearly, a lot of thought and energy
was invested to bring this standard to it's fruition (it clearly has the mark
of upper managers with too much time on their collective hands).  I look
forward to the implementation of the next logical step, conformance testing.

Regards,
--Scott

    Or you can just have a bunch of numbers.  I have two customers that
    handle multi-lingualism in different ways.  One has you push 1 for
    Cantonese, 2 for ENglish, 3 for Mandarin and 4 for Tagalog.  The other
    has different numbers.  One for Hong Kong Cantonese, one for
    'International' Cantonese, one for Mandarin, and one for English.
    
    The problem with caller ID is that the person may be calling from a pay
    phone or from anothers phone.  Different numbers are the best so that
    it is easy to share the work if the load gets too high.
    
    So just order a bunch of different phones and numbers.  It is best if
    they are coded.
    
    

>    So just order a bunch of different phones and numbers.  It is best if
>    they are coded.

Excellent idea.  It's called Custom Ringing by the phone company.

    
    I work as an Operations Control Centre Duty Manager in the Canadian
    Customer Support Centre in Hull, Quebec. I interface with external &
    internal customers daily.
    
    don't we all ready have a Digital standard of answering the phones:
    
    Hi, you've reached the voice mail of Joe Blow. [nothing stating you
    work at Digital Equipment for all those wrong numbers] and I'm not 
    available to take your call right now :
    
    but if you'd like to leave a message PRESS 1 now.
    
    If you'd like to mark your message as urgent PRESS 2 now.
    
    If you'd like to have me paged with this message PRESS 3 now.
    
    If you'd like to listen to your message press 4 now.
    
    If you'd like to re-record your message press 5 now.
    
    If you'd like to delete your message press 6 now. 
    
    If you'd like to mark your message for normal delivery press 7 now.
    
    If you stay on the line a real human being should answer the phone.
    
    If you press # after your message you might get directed to a real
    human being (who will tell you that I'm not available, but if you wish I
    can transfer you back to xxxxx's extension and you can leave a voice
    mail message for them.)  
    
    And if you stay on the phone long enough to listen to all this, you'll
    never want to phone me again.
    
    Thank you for calling and I'll get back to you as soon as possible (aka
    never)
    
    I for one hate voice mail. we have too many abusers
    
    Terry. 

FWIW, delivery of Calling Line IDentification to direct inward dial PBX
trunks is not available in the United States.

/john

    Continuing the RatHole, delivery of CLI in Australia is against the
    privacy act.
    
    Bill

    Re: .56 & voicemail et al-
    
    	The worst are the systems that a _just a bit too cheerful_ when
    explaining your options. Dunno if it's the content, intonation or
    verbosity that's most annoying.
    
    	My personal vote is for VMX as systems go. Inform your caller that
    they can press * to skip the greeting and leave a message directly and
    it's fairly tolerable. This system can also be set up to page you when
    a message arrives, although not supported Digital-wide I understand.
    
    	You can always record an outgoing message such as "hello? anyone
    there? hello? (*click*) as a personal message if you want to be real
    unreachable. But I digress.
    
    Phil

    RE. up to this point.
    
    Have you all not seen the light yet! Did not the trend to-date in other
    areas of similar weight get through to you. The memo is but a prelude
    to the announcement of the new Vice President of Telephonology,
    reporting to the Vice President of Communications on the staff of the
    Senior Vice President of Operations, who works for the Executive Vice
    President of the Americas, who reports to the Vice President of Vice
    Presidents.
    
    For the majority of those planned to be left after the next round of
    right sizing, the correct answer will undoubtedly be "This is Joe
    Blow, Vice President of..."
    
    8')
    
    -OFWAMI-

    Could be a good news, bad news situation.  The good news may be that
    Digital may soon offer more support phone lines than ever before, 
    allowing customers to be put directly in touch with all areas of 
    the company for any support needs ...
    
    Steve

    .61
    ....even if those answering the phones don`t know what they are talking
    about!

    
    re: last several...
    
    sigh...

    No dialects,
    
    does this mean I will or won't be forced to speak like someone from
    Massachusettes?
    
    Are we going to go to "Standard Midwestern?"  (I guess I will have to
    drop the "ya'll" from my vocabulary, but will others have to drop
    "dater" or "pauwk?"
    
    am I to drop the "buenos dias" when talking to people in Venezuala or
    Mexico?
    
    "bon jour" when speaking to Quebec?
    
    Try to hurry the network manager from a certain southwestern NA tribe
    when he is telling me the entire story of his network from the
    beginning, before we get to the current problem? (FWIW this is
    considered highly offensive by the people we work with there)
    
    This inquiring mind would like to know.
    
    

   Actually, this is the first sane thing this company has done in a
   long time.  Our phone manners during the 70s and 80s (which have
   carried into the 90s) were a result of our arrogance (we didn't care
   how we talked on the telephone because "We're Digital, and you're
   not!").  Our telephone manners were/are poor at best.
   
   My mother was director of purchasing for a large corporation. 
   Besides ripping me apart at home because Digital was the most
   horrible company to work with from a purchasing agent's perspective,
   the first words out of her mouth when she called me at work were to
   the effect, "Why don't you send your receptionists to the V-school
   for a remedial course in telephone procedures."
   
   Many of my friends who use the telephone a lot for their jobs comment
   on how poorly we use this business tool.  I don't know, but based on
   Digital's performance in the 90s, I don't think we can afford to piss
   off customers or present a poor image on the telephone.  Our raging
   success in the 80s may have allowed us to get away with using
   telephones poorly, but the 90s won't support the 80s style.

    so how long does it take to write a quick memo reminding us to treat
    people on the phone as nicely as we like to be treated?  
    
    meg

this is so very, very important that we are not going to tell you the
secret for another month. 

    
     re: .66 
    
     My guess is that they got 'stuck' when handling the issue of 
     speaking to whomever calls from Hell. Do we have a corporate
     standard for addressing that customer? 
    
     As usual, 
     :-)
     jc

    Re .66
    
    It probably doesn't matter how nicely the memo is worded, many
    people will treat it as another piece of junk mail, as most will
    do with the stuff about to be sent out.
    
    Jane.

    RE .68
    
    FYI, Hell is in the 616 area code (Hell, Michigan). And yes it froze
    over again this year! Correct etiquette there is to start with "Who in
    Hell do you think you're calling" and go on from there. If in doubt
    about the location of the person you have reached, it is correct to ask 
    "Where in Hell are you". If the person seems confused and disoriented 
    when answering, it is proper to play along and ask them"Who in Hell do 
    you think you are". If they are confused and perplexed about your
    identity, you may have to ask, "Who in Hell do you think I am". 
    
    Of course, for all who do not live in Hell these would be inappropriate
    and some form of telephone answering standards would be required.
    
    ;~)		-OFWAMI-
    
    -OFWAMI-

    This reminds me of a campaign started by Digital Germany (already
    mentioned in this string) - must have been about 1984.
    
    They put up posters showing people at work having a party and ignoring
    the telephone. I found it insulting to insinuate that this was a true
    picture of daily events.
    
    The telephone package arrived anonymously. So if you had questions,
    suggestions (or in the case of my reaction - a complaint) there was
    nobody named as responsible to contact.
    
    There was supposed to be a standard way for answering the telephone in
    German, which took no account of working in a multilingual environment.
    
    There was also a little mirror with a smile painted on it. Some people
    thought this was quite a cute way of reminding people to be friendly on
    the phone. This is a matter of taste I suppose.
    
    Improving the way the company interacts with its customers, partners
    and suppliers over the telephone is a worthy aim. However the previous
    experience I had with this one such effort showed a failure in
    implementation, a lack of understanding of diversity of environments,
    no finesse and a program lifetime of a whole six weeks.
    
    I hope the new effort does better.
    
    Mike
    
    PS Thank you for indulging in an eleven year old complaint! Wish I'd
    had notes then - could have got it off my chest straight away.

Hell is also in the Cayman islands, area code 809, if'n I remember
correctly.

TTom

    
    	My suggestion, to avoid any personal repercussions to the
    individual who HAS a phone, would be "let voice mail do it." By
    promptly calling back you will garner many extra brownie points
    (always useful this time of year), impress your superiors with
    the sheer volume of work revolving around your cubicle, and insure
    you will NOT be out of compliance with the appropriate Digital
    corporate calling standard.
    	Since voice mail can be entered once and *read* many times, this
    is really a no-brainer.
    	Can I now be the Vice President of Telephonology, please?
    
    
    			the Greyhawk
    
    
    	PS - I could really use the extra bucks, Bob.

    re .71: Couldn't agree more (except maybe about the lifetime - I'd say
    it was closer to half a day... :-)

    About two years ago we in Customer Admin took a one-two day course on
    how to answer the phone (I still have the book someplace). Within a week
    no body used or practiced what was taught because there was no
    enforcement. It was a bit unusual because we we not to say good
    morning-after or what ever. It was more of an insult to our
    intelligence then anything else. Between this and a standardized FAX
    form I wonder how much time and money is wasted. I have never had a
    complaint about any FAX cover sheet that I used and I don`t think any
    one would lose a sale of such a little thing.
    
    JMO  

    
    
    "Good Morning, this is Digital, can I help it ?"

    Having had 2 years in the 1950s of answering a military phone:
    "88THORDNANCEORDERLYROOMSPECIALISTBANCROFTSPEAKINGSIR" in 1/2 breath,
    any reasonable standardization in the customer interface does not
    bother me.  I never understood the word KVETCH (roughly "complain")
    until note 3702.  If it makes Digital look better, and does not
    hurt you, what is the problem?  I hear nostalgia about the old "DEC"
    but no interest in building a new and better DIGITAL.
    

    What a superb example of standardisation if we all answered
    the phone with:
    
    "88THORDNANCEORDERLYROOMSPECIALISTBANCROFTSPEAKINGSIR"
    

>    What a superb example of standardisation if we all answered
>    the phone with:
>    
>    "88THORDNANCEORDERLYROOMSPECIALISTBANCROFTSPEAKINGSIR"

I was thinking with those credentials he could get a job with air traffic 
control.    

Al

    Does anybody know if there will really be "people" to answer the phones
    after June? I just heard 14k more employees to go by June. Anybody else
    heard that?
    
    Joel P

    RE: .80
    
    Yes, I heard that rumor a couple of weeks ago. 
    
    Let's see, what business unit/division has around 14K employees?
    
    kjg

    aren't there 14000 vice-presidents ?
    

    no, silly, that's the # anticipated to flunk the
    phone manners test to be given immediately upon
    completion of the 4 day phone training.
    
    anybody called a SLT member recently? was
    it good for you?
    
    bk

    Why does it seem to me that this new policy is most likely a reaction
    to complaints received from customers about problems they have had in
    trying to reach someone at Digital; understandable given the major
    transitions and moves that have occurred over the past couple years. 
                                                 
    The problem probably is that the tele-centers and other phone answering
    organizations have been over-downsized.  There are not quite enough
    people left to adequately handle all of the calls.  
    
    Yes, some of these people may in fact be stressed somewhat and are not
    as pleasant as they might be.  This is known as a symptom.
    
    As usual, we are going to try and solve a symptom.  The problem will of
    course remain.  
    
    Remedial phone training - you've got to be kidding!
    
    I would really love to know how large a bonus was received by the
    clever person that dreamed up this "solution".

    Personally, I think there's some over-reacting going on.  Yes, on first
    examination, a telephone standard seems like a waste of
    time/people/money.  However, it may not be so bad a thing.  Yes, it
    could be something militaristically obnoxious, SIR!  It might be
    something stupid that doesn't take into account any kind of a personal
    touch or local/regional/national preferences.  On the other hand,
    it may be a world-wide standard that asks us to do something simple
    that my last three managers asked for:  
    
    1.	Answer the phone by announcing your department or function, then
    your name.  (i.e., in my case, "Relocation Services, this is
    Marla.)
    
    2.	Change your voice mail every day, if your whereabouts tend
    to vary, or once a week if they don't.  State your name, function, 
    the date or week, and where you will be.  
    
    Why all this fussin' and fumin' over something that hasn't even been 
    delivered yet?  Isn't a waste of time and energy to assume this is
    going to be a bad thing, and react accordingly?  As a corporation, we
    have learned what our brand identification arrogance has cost us, and
    are trying to change, by becoming more uniform in lots of ways.  We're
    changing, so maybe we all need to be open-minded enough not to trash
    this thing until we have seen the details which will prove whether 
    it is well-thought out or poorly done.
    
    IMHO, of course.
    
    M.

    
>>> Scanned in Today from page 2-- starts with Sidebar <<<
    
    			         The Top
			           10
    			    Telephone "No-No"s
  
    Below is a list of the top 10 ways NOT to answer the telephone at
        Digital Equipment Corporation

      10. "Yo."
   
       9. Aloha! Digital! 
          [Acceptable only in Hawaii]

       8. "It's your dime. Speak up..."
   
       7. "If you have a touch-tone phone press....Uh, is this a customer ?"

       6. "Digital Equipment. Howdy do !..."

       5. "Message Center..."

       4. The number you are calling is not in service. If you are calling
          Digital Equipment Corporation. "

       3. "Chomp-chomp-chomp [Chewing], Jones here..." 
     
       2. "Lunch phones!..."

       1. "DEC... Hold, please..."


	       TELEPHONE WAR STORIES.

       Almost every Digital employee has a few. Unfortunately, so do
    customers and partners who call our company. 
       Reaching a real person who won't reveal who they are or what 
    department  or company they work for, without some prodding. 
       Listening to a seemingly endless voicemail greeting that makes you
    want to slam down the phone, or leave a caustic message.
       Being bounced from one "zero" to another, and landing in voicemail
    jail without ever speaking to a live human.
       Those types of experiences can leave lasting negative impressions on
    customers and colleagues.
       "Every call we answer is an opportunity for us to create or reinforce 
    a positive image of Digital," said Judy Wilcox, executive secretary,
    Office of the President.
       "Each of us is the voice and image of Digital."
    
       In March, all Digital employees worldwide will receive a pamphlet
    outlining the company's standards  regarding telephone use. 
       "The way all employees handle an incoming call is critical to the
    caller's impression of Digital," Wilcox added. "Following the company
    standards will help make it easier for customers to do business with
    us."
       The emphasis on the standards is part of the overall effort to
    strengthen Digital's voice and identity and brand image world-wide.
       The standards are designed for simplicity, professionalism and
    consistency.
       By the way, the correct way to answer the phone is "Good (morning,
    afternoon), Digital. (Your name) speaking."
    
       For more information, contact Sandy Carpentier, Brand Programs, 
    DTN 244-6261.

    Sandy must watch "Letterman"  :-)

>       By the way, the correct way to answer the phone is "Good (morning,
>    afternoon), Digital. (Your name) speaking."

OK, so now that's been cleared up, why do we need to bother with
the standards pamphlet?

    In the past, I've been told not to give out information over the
    phone about department, numbers of co-workers, since it could also
    be a hacker trying to break into the company's systems.
    
    I hope the phone standard reinforces the need to also be cautious
    about what kind of information you give out over the phone.
    
    				-John

    Excellent... well, at least for those callers whose name is "Digital" and
    those telephone answerers whose name is "Your name".
    
    I do like the globalized, time-independent futuristic ring that 
    "Good (morning, afternoon)" has though...:-)
    
    Wonder if we could extend this to "Good (morning, afternoon, evening,
    night)" for an even more time-independent greeting... 

Will phone answerers in the Far East and the antipodes have
to tell American callers to "have a nice yesterday" ?

    
    hello this is DIGITAL....AH YES HELL YOU STILL HAVE OUR NUMBER.....
    
    HOW CAN WE HELP???
    
    HORNet
    

|    Wonder if we could extend this to "Good (morning, afternoon, evening,
|    night)" for an even more time-independent greeting... 

I'm sure we can update the voice mail system to create appropriate and catchy
greetings based on day of week, recent announcements, your function, your name,
local holiday schedule, Thomas Cook records indicating if you're on a business
trip, HR file indicating name of manager, secretary, pointer to Web page with
your group's most recent charter, sound tracks of endorsed pop-groups, 
purchasing department's records indicating you own a beeper, etc.

All we need to do is to register some 100 friendly and welcoming words and
Digital can from then on dynamically assemble new greetings as needed. What more
is, you will no longer be stuck trying to record a friendly message with a sore
throat ..

>Per

    How about, "Digital.  This is <your name> ...  If you are a customer
    and want the right number for Digital, go to H**l.  They have our number ..."  ;^)
    
    Steve

    OK so we have an worldwide guideline which doesn't fit the world:
    
    Voice-mail is not in universal use within Digital worldwide.
    
    English is not the universal telephone language.
    
    Mike
    

Unbelievable.

In the 17+ years I've been with this company, I'll bet you could count the
number of times a customer has called me on your fingers and toes. I receive
far more calls from securities sales reps, aluminum siding companies, and
headhunters. Anybody whose call I am expecting (including those few
customers) knows full well who I am when they call, since I obviously
gave them my number.

I've always answered my phone by simply stating my name.

I can see it now -

<phone rings>

"Jack DelBalso"

"Jack, this is your manager, and you didn't answer the phone with The
 Appropriate Corporate Standard Telephone Greeting. I'm going to have
 to note that in your next performance review."

"Yeah - right." <click>

    I have *never* spoken to an external customer on the 'phone, unless
    they've been personal friends, and the call was personal. I answer my
    'phone:
    
    "Hello, it's Laurie."
    
    Works for me...

|    Voice-mail is not in universal use within Digital worldwide.
|    
|    English is not the universal telephone language.

	Right on! This precisely why we need a standard :-)

	>Per

>Per:

> > English is not the universal telephone language.
> 
> Right on! This precisely why we need a standard :-)

  No! That's why we need an *ARCHITECTURE*! Digital -- Phone (Incoming)
  Standards and Sayings (Official, Final, and Forever)

                                   Atlant

We are not the only people with this problem.

As part of a proposal that I am writing, I need to include some IBM gear.
In the last 45 minutes I have called IBM at a local number and *four* 800 
numbers, trying to get some configuration information.

Everyone was polite, but (prompted by this note string) I found that less
than half of the peole identified the company during the greeting.  Of 
those few who did, some included their names and some did not.  Some said
"Good morning" and some did not.  Some said "May I help you" and some did not.

So even IBM doesn't have their act together in this area.  Now, we have to
decide whether we want to be like IBM or not... :^)

Of course, the fact that everyone (so far) has said that they cannot help me,
and then passed me onto people who wondered why I was talking to them because
they can't help me either, is another issue.  Again, Digital is not the only
company with this problem...

-- Ken Moreau (who always answers "Ken Moreau, may I help you?")
   (currently on hold waiting for the IBM rep to get back to me)

    I apologize for not getting into this discussion sooner, but I am not
    an active notesfile user. There is a lot of emotion around this topic
    and if I HAD been an active user, I may have been able to quell some if
    not all of your concerns.

    A lot of valid points have been made. And, as a Digital employee, I'd
    be pretty annoyed if I thought anyone had spent a bunch of money coming
    up with "standards" of dubious value. We should have posted the
    guidelines in the notesfile immediately. As one of the notesfiles users
    stated, it is hard to judge what you haven't seen. The text is
    attached.

    These are simple straightforward guidelines to help address common
    complaints from customers, partners and employees about doing business
    by phone with Digital. (see note 3702.65 for a good problem
    description.)

    Because there are great cultural differences among countries, the
    guidelines are being adjusted by local communications managers and
    translated where required.

    There is no training required or needed.  In the development of the
    guidelines we strove for simplicity and common sense. And, as a default,
    if the standards do not work for a organization or individual, they do
    not have to use them. There is no plan to check up on people.  What we
    hope will occur is that employees will not only use the guidelines but
    remind their colleagues to try them out. 

    The "pamphlet" is one sheet of paper printed in black and white with
    two folds so that it can be kept handy for reference.  It was written
    and produced internally with nominal reproduction costs.

    It will be posted in videotext in the IR as well as here. Once you do
    read the pamphlet, I'd really appreciate your direct feedback to my
    E-mail or a phone call. Although it has been reviewed extensively, we
    are open to edits and suggestions on how to encourage its use.

    Sandy


    
			     "HELLO"

                YOU ARE THE VOICE AND IMAGE OF DIGITAL


	Digital has adopted uniform telephone standards to 
        improve the way people are treated when they contact 
        Digital.

	The way we answer our telephones is frequently the first 
        impression we make. A simple informative greeting has a 
        lot to say about our professionalism and the consistency 
        with which we handle this simple task across the company 
        says a lot about how well the Digital team is working. It 
        is important, therefore, that our communications are 
        clear, consistent and effective. We ask each of you to 
        follow the personal telephone standards outlined in this 
        communication. Following these standards will improve our 
        internal communications and, more importantly, make it 
        easier for our partners, customers and prospects to do 
        business with us.



	Any ringing telephone must be answered personally or by 
        voice mail (see "voice mail").

	Attempt to answer the telephone before the third ring.

	Answer in a pleasant, professional manner. For example, 
        "Good morning, Digital, this is ___________."

	If you are taking a message, obtain pertinent caller 
        information (name, company, phone number, nature of 
        call):
		- Person call was for
		- Date and time call was received
		- Caller's name and company
		- Caller's phone number
		- Message
		- Your name

	When speaking with external callers (e.g. customers and 
        partners) refer to Digital employees using Mr. or Ms. 
        unless culturally inappropriate.

	Use patience, understanding, and commitment when talking 
        with a caller.

	Do not ask a caller to call someone else; take 
        responsibility for the call. Give the caller your name 
        and number.

	Before putting a caller on hold or transferring to 
        another number, advise him/her of the reason.

	Try not to leave a caller on hold for more than 45 
        seconds without checking to determine if they want to 
        remain on hold.

	If you think the answer will take some time to research, 
        offer to call back in a specific amount of time.

	Get the caller's agreement on next actions.



  If you must transfer:

	Tell the caller why you are transferring the call.

	Ensure that the call is answered by the person, not voice 
        mail, when transferring.

	Whenever possible, introduce the caller to the person 
        accepting the transfer, giving the caller's name, phone 
        number, and reason for calling.

	If you receive a transfer, take ownership to satisfy the 
        caller's request. If necessary, take any research 
        off-line and call back. Don't transfer a call a second 
        time.



  Dealing with an angry caller

	If the caller becomes irate, provide reassurance by using 
        a calming, caring manner.

	If the caller uses abusive language, inform him or her, 
        politely, that you will not participate in the 
        conversation and that you will terminate the
	call if it continues.

  Follow-up

	If the information a caller needs is not immediately 
        available, agree on a time for follow-up. If your 
        research is not completed by that time, make a status 
        call and agree on a time for the next call.

	Return all calls as soon as possible, but no later than 
        four (4) business hours. If you are out of the office, 
        identify a backup person.			      

     	If a caller requests to escalate the issue to one level 
        higher, your manager should return the call.

	Once you have taken ownership, track all calls to 
        closure. Follow up to ensure the caller is satisfied.



  Voice mail

	Although callers prefer to speak with you directly, they 
        will accept voice mail if it is effective and easy to 
        use. 

	Answer your phone when you are in the office or arrange 
        for a co-worker to answer. Voice mail is a default only 
        when NO ONE is available.

	Use your own voice on your voice mail because it is a 
        personal communication tool.

	Keep your message as short as possible. "This is [your 
        name and department] at Digital. Please leave a message 
        at the tone." Any additional message should be restricted 
        to a short explanatory sentence.

	Never leave an outdated voice mail message on your phone. 
        It reflects badly on Digital.

	If you rely heavily on voice mail, update your voice mail 
        daily.

	Return your calls within four hours if possible. If you 
        cannot, state that on your voice mail.

	Encourage callers to leave messages. Issues can 
        frequently be resolved by exchanging voice mail messages.

  Suggested greeting (available/working)

	"You've reached the office of [name and department] at 
        Digital. Please leave your name, number, and a message 
        after the tone. [Organization-specific option for 
        speaking to a person]. Thank you for calling."

  Suggested greeting (not available/not working)

	"You've reached the office of [name and department] at 
        Digital. I am [not available, etc.] until [day, date].
	[organization-specfic message for speaking to a person].

	You may leave your name, number, and a message after the 
        tone. Thank you for calling."		

	
	   YOU ARE THE VOICE AND IMAGE OF DIGITAL

    Im starting to feel like Ive been arond to long. Every time I hear a
    dumb program like this one I recall when we did that before.
    
    I think about 8-10 years ago, maybe under the reign of Chic Shue,
    someone important had a reason to call a DEC field office. The response
    was not professional, and this person had some time on his hands, so he
    called a few mode offices and started a bit of a survey. The results
    were both amazing and appaling. A memo was generated, lectures given at
    staff meetings, etc. 
    
    I think I have the memo with  some of the call transcripts. If I still
    had an office and a file cabinet, I could probably find it.
    
     

    
     I like the method used by Private Stockdale on No Time For Sergeants
     when he was trying to raise someone one a 2-way radio.
    
     HELLO........PHUT...(Sound of spitting at the microphone)
    
     Think that could work for us ?

    (Facetiousness and Sarcasm turned to full volume!!)
    
    Gosh, those telephone standards are really awful, huh?
    Identify yourself, your company, and department.  Be polite.  Change
    your voice mail regularly.  Answer your phone if you can.  I don't 
    think I can live with that.  
    
    (volume turned down)
    
    M.
    

    
    	Ron -
    
    	I remember that episode also. We were one of the "offending"
    offices, and my boss at the time got "cooked" by Chic big-time,
    and left the company shortly thereafter.
    	So my next question is will our "temps" have to memorize this?
    
    	I'm somewhat ambivalent after 25 years in this business and
    thousands of telephone calls. A quick memo with a nice "you are
    their first impression" reminder would probably suffice. But then,
    this is Digital.
    
    		the Greyhawk

This is fine for those whose jobs involve customer contact. I am one of
those who rarely receive calls from customers, and I usually know when
those are coming - our support people let me know before they refer a call
to me.

Giving full information - department, etc., over the phone - can be a
(probably minor) security leak, in some areas. (You certainly wouldn't
want a future product mentioned, for example.

    When I talk to customers, they really appreciate being on a 1st name
    basis.  It emphasisizes that I'm listening to them and want to help.
    
    				-John

    I can think of three cases this year alone when I *didn't know* whether
    a colleague who was a party to an issue was male or female because all
    I had was an email address [I was wondering whether Sandy Carpenter was
    male or female--a quick check of ELF implies female, though.]

    Having standards is all very nice, and common sense should prevail, but
    then, all this *assumes* that 1) there are humans in the office, and 2)
    that voice mail is available.
    
    I work in a small (was bigger, before) office that has Sales, Software
    and Service functions. We have a receptionist to guard the front door.
    Most of the secretaries were "right-sized", so now, when said
    door-guardian has to visit mother nature, on goes the night bell. Which
    may of may not get picked up. 
    
    Try calling a Field Service Engineer, his/her phone rings half a dozen
    times, and transfers to the secretary, who is somewhere else, doing
    someone else's job, her phone rings half a dozen more times and may or
    may not transfer to 1) the receptionist, (see mother nature, above)
    2)an answering machine, (long drawn out "slow" message, or full)
    or 3) nowhere.
    
    I agree that a simple memo, forwarded 50 or 60 times would be more than
    sufficient, and as annoying as it can be, voice-mail would be pretty
    cool to have available. Your mileage may/will vary.
    
    .mike.
    (at a customer site, where I *DO* have voice-mail)

re: 3702.109 by REGENT::LASKO

>>    I can think of three cases this year alone when I *didn't know* whether
>>    a colleague who was a party to an issue was male or female because all
>>    I had was an email address [I was wondering whether Sandy Carpenter was
>>    male or female--a quick check of ELF implies female, though.]

Does it make a difference whether the co-worker is a male or female?  Should 
it?  

BTW, you misspelled this Sandy's last name, it is Carpentier.  But I bet
she gets alot of mail for employee Sandy Carpenter.  So far, I've only
received a couple of Bill Kilgore's EMail messages sent to me in error.  ;-)
Never received any of Dan's. 

Judy

    Presumably it makes a difference if the standards require me to say,
    not "Sandy's not available right now," but "Mr. (Ms.? Dr.?) Carpenter
    is not available at the moment."  

.111> Does it make a difference whether the co-worker is a male or female?

Yes, it does matter, Mr. Kilgore.  According to the pamplet,

	When speaking with external callers (e.g. customers and 
        partners) refer to Digital employees using Mr. or Ms. 
        unless culturally inappropriate.

    I am generally loathe to throw stones at my fellow, beleagured
    
    employees, but:
    
    	GOOD GRIEF PEOPLE, LIGHTEN UP!!!!!!!!!!!!
    
    Yeah, it may be a "dumb" idea to do a memo.  But, it seems likely to me
    that it was prompted by complaints from SOMEONE that people on phones
    inside Digital aren't being as professional as might be desired.  I
    find it hard to believe that even the most useless VP has nothing
    better to do than think up things like phone answering guidelines
    without SOME provocation!
    
    In the long run, everybody is going to do what makes sense for THEM. 
    And some of us could occasionally use a little goose to remind us that
    our phone technique could use a little work...  So take from the memo
    what has value to you, and disregard the rest...

    Re: .111
    
    The subsquent replies clarified the point I was trying to make.  I was
    following on to .108's comment, in the context of replies .102, et seq.
    
    I apologize for the misspelling. 

    re .114
    
    I love it. A short plump goose, sitting next to my phone
    with a head set on, small cassette recorder by its side,
    monitoring and recording my phone behavior. I know of people who
    keep an attack goose; this would be an AT&T-ack goose?
    
    bk
    
    
    

RE: .116

	Would this goose be related in any way to the penguin on
	my telly?

						mike

    
    .117
    
    Only if it explodes.  In which case you don't have to answer the
    'phone politely because your monitoring system will be "down".

It's enough for me to get a polite, considerate, useful response to a phone
call, no matter how it's phrased.

I wonder how Bob answers his phone.  Or Enrico.  Or Vincenzo.

Second theme: lots of what we see as management directives are aimed not at
raising the level, but at damage control: putting a floor under how bad
things can be.  This may work in some respects, but it doesn't really make
things better, it just changes the shape of the bottom of the curve.

___Pete

>I wonder how Bob answers his phone.  Or Enrico.  Or Vincenzo.

If you mean at work, my guess is they always know who is at the other end of
the line.  Their secretary takes that information and passes it along. 8^)

	mikeP

In .102 I'd like to point out this paragraph....particularly the part between
the ***  ***:

>>    There is no training required or needed.  In the development of the
>>    guidelines we strove for simplicity and common sense. And, as a default,
>> ***if the standards do not work for a organization or individual, they do
>>    not have to use them. *** There is no plan to check up on people.  What we
>>    hope will occur is that employees will not only use the guidelines but
>>    remind their colleagues to try them out. 

When I made my comment as to why would you need to know the gender of the
person, since calling Sandy Carpentier Mr. or Ms. Carpentier wouldn't work, 
why wouldn't Sandy Carpentier.  As the paragraph states above if it doesn't
work don't use it.

I've been called worse than Mr. Kilgore.  In fact to this day I continue to
get mail addressed to Mr. Judith Kilgore.  Now that is ridiculous.  So I 
just smile and throw it in the trash....checking 1st for money.  ;-)

    Re: .121
    
    That's a very nice sentence. It may even speak to the author's intents 
    for the spirit of the "uniform telephone standards". It may even be how
    the "standards" will apply in practice. But it is not part of the text
    of the "uniform telephone standards", as presented in .102.
                    
    Ms. Carpentier's comments won't be seen by everyone and those who have
    not seen it may not understand that the "standards" are actually
    "guidelines", nor be clear on how much peer pressure should be applied
    to their colleagues. (The implication of the last sentence of the
    paragraph you cited.) The word "guideline" does not appear in the text
    of the pamphlet.
    
    However, the (welcome) clarification from Ms. Carpentier has done us a
    favor. The sentence basically says: "Do the right thing."
    
    [Gosh, I've heard that before.... :-)]
    
    Tim Lasko (which is how I will continue to answer my telephone)

    Re: .122
    >Ms. Carpentier's comments won't be seen by everyone and those who have
    >not seen it may not understand that the "standards" are actually
    >"guidelines", nor be clear on how much peer pressure should be
    >applied to their colleagues. (The implication of the last sentence of the
    >paragraph you cited.) The word "guideline" does not appear in the
    >text of the pamphlet.
    
    The people working for this company are not robots.  They're going to
    do what they want to do no matter what.  Most of them do the right
    thing.
    
    Most people I know answer the phone politely at work.  Those who
    answer, "hello?" or "this is Bob" know that answering, "Digital,
    PATHWORKS Marketing, this is Bob," is more correct and "better."
    But I doubt that many of them will change their ways because of a memo
    or standard guidelines passed down from on high.
    
    Bruce

    Um...  As far as the little goose...  For most of us this was a
    figurative act - the literal version of which is an attention-getting
    device involving a VERY non-politically-correct personal attack... 
    BUT, I MEANT FIGURATIVE, NOT LITERAL... I would NEVER advocate such a
    thing in reality!  BUT, for you three clowns in .115-.117 perhaps you
    can find the part number for a DECgoose that would perform the desired
    monitoring function...

    
.121>  I've been called worse than Mr. Kilgore...
    
    And I've been thrown out of better places than CXO -- so there!!!
    
    
    
    :-)
    

    Thanks Sandy!
    
    Spread the word about this conference as one way of distributing 
    information - I wonder how many replies there would be for this topic 
    if we started with your note?
    

I understand why it's important to identify the company name, Digital, when
answering the phone.  But why should we mention the time of day, as in "good
morning" or "good afternoon"?  It's irrelevant, and annoying to those calling
from different time zones.

Good afternoon,

Paul

    
    	How about saying "It is two PM - do you know where YOUR VAX is?"
    
    	Hey, my tongue is catch in my cheek..Help, my foot is moving north.
    
    	I think the Greyhawk needs a vacation...

    >  How about saying "It is two PM - do you know where YOUR VAX is?"
    
    No, the proper line is: It's two pm Central Time, please adjust for
    your local time zone.

    
    	I think I'm definitely going to take the class.
    
    	I hope its a true/false test afterwards - multiple choices
    	always get me confused, sometimes dazed...
    
    		the Greyhawk

I'm going to give the time in UTC, it saves so many hassles.

But do we call it UTC, GMT or Zulu?

Dave

    I'm still giggling at the visual of a goose with head-phones, sitting
    next to the desk, as mentioned in a previous note.....
    
    However - I agree with the "lighten up" sentiment! For a good portion
    of this company, we don't know if the ringing phone is internal or
    external, friend, customer or a misc. caller. Answering with some
    degree of professionalism should be standard but it is not. 
    
    There is nothing wrong with the phamphlet as posted in an earlier note,
    asking for professionalism. Most of what's mentioned should be expected
    if one applied just a bit of common sense. But you'd be surprised (or
    maybe not) how often no sense is applied.  We do have voicemail in my
    facility so you no longer get the phone ringing off the hook, but it
    used to happen, even if people were standing around within reach of the
    phone. I've called Digital offices and when the call was answered,
    wasn't sure if I had made it to the Digital office or not. I've had
    people answer "no they (person you are calling for) aren't here" and
    hang up, without waiting to see if there is a message. I've talked with
    rude people and I've talked with very nice people (the vast majority). 
    
    The phamphlet is a reminder to all of us that we have customers (and
    that could be an external or an internal call, some of us have DECCIE's
    as our customers) and a certain level of professionism to maintain.
    
    Common sense and good manners are always better, but sometimes need a
    reminder.
    
    my 2 cents... 
    
    janetb.
    (who's first job at Digital was in the field where a DM's secretary
    called randomly to check how people were answering their phones and
    would really rattle your cage if it wasn't professional)

    Well, I received my new phone answering standard today (31-Mar).
    It obviously came 1 day too early!
    
    I read it, laughed at it, wasted time in the hallway with co-workers
    about it, ripped it up, returned to work...
    
    				-John

    
    I'm keepin' mine.  With all the shortages around here, it might come in
    handy.  We haven't seen paper towels for a year and toilet paper's at a
    premium.
    
    (PS: Southern tip - crumple the pamphlet repeatedly, worrying it back
    and forth.  Over a period of several minutes you'll have a soft,
    pliable, usable sheet with a Digital logo on it.  Warning - this does
    not work with the glossy pages of any magazine.  Addendum - Sears has
    discontinued the catalog we always relied on, it's being replaced
    by pamphlets telling forty-year-old college graduates with ten years at
    Digital how to answer a phone and talk to a client.)
    
    We now return you to your own personal daily soap opera...

    >...it's being replaced by pamphlets telling forty-year-old college
    >graduates with ten years at Digital how to answer a phone and talk 
    >to a client
     
    This really points out the absurdity of the situation.
    					
                                        andrew

    Actually, I had a question about one of the guidelines.
    
    >Answer in a pleasant, professional manner.  For example, "Good
    >morning, Digital, this is______"
    
    What if the name of the person on the other end of the line
    isn't Digital?

    Then I guess they'll just have to change their name.  :-)
    
    Jim Morton

    re -.2
    
    hahahahahahahhahahahahahaha!  Thanks!

    
    	Tex -
    
    		THANKS....
    
    
    	the Greyhawk_who_is_humbled_before_all_these_great_comedians

    can these digital phone answering standards be used on analog phones?

>    can these digital phone answering standards be used on analog phones?
    
    No, this is a physical impossibility.  The front of your brochure says
    "You are the voice and *image* of Digital".  Analog phones do *not*
    support imaging.  Please make space on your desk immediately for your
    digital imaging telephone equipment. (Note: this may result in having
    to relinquish your workstation or PC).
    
    Note also the paragraph below the above..."Digital has adopted uniform
    telephone standards to improve the way people are treated when they
    contact Digital".  A disclaimer was to have been printed below
    that..."Offer does not apply to employees, void in New Jersey".
    
    								Tex

    Actually, analog can carry image but not at the same time as voice.
    So either you be image and shut up or you bleat away and forget about
    being image...

re Note 3702.144 by HLDE01::VUURBOOM_R:

>                             -< Just Not At The Same Time... >-
> 
>     Actually, analog can carry image but not at the same time as voice.
  
        My analog TV set manages to do this!

        Bob

    
    Did anyone find the Digital Standard Number for this one? 
    Is it 131313 ? 
    Are sporks mentioned in passing? As in "I spork to my customer this
    morning and she said...."
    
    jc

>    <<< Note 3702.143 by DPDMAI::EYSTER "It ain't a car without fins..." >>>
>                  -< Digital phone standard 46243 explained >-
    
    		      ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
    
    Your adherence is appreciated.

>     Actually, analog can carry image but not at the same time as voice.
>  
>        My analog TV set manages to do this!
>
>
>            Bob
    
    Ahhh, so that explains why you've been known to hold lively 
    conversations with your TV set :-)

    Mine channels Elvis, but that's another story...

    Oh what I wouldn't give to be on the other end of the phone just
    once if \nasser was still here to give it a try ;-)
    
    

    	Actually, I kind of liked the idea of me being the voice and image
    of Digital! However, it's probably a pretty scarey thought for the rest
    of you.

    
    	/nasser ... geez, I forgot all about him!!
    
    	He was probably the one who "inspired" this whole standard, and
    	[who would've thought!!] the company took this long to implement
    	it!!  8^)
    
    	Like I told someone yesterday, I answer my phone "Hello".  And if
    	someone calls me and doesn't know who they called, then I'd rather
    	not waste time talking to them anyways!!
    

    	    Rather than create a new note, I figured I'd just put this
            here.  Only a few months after that wonderfully stimulating
            pamphlet on how to answer the telephone......what did I get
            to distribute to everyone in my group today?
    
            A six-color, glossed over pamphlet on what "restricted
            distribution", "Digital confidential", etc means.
    
            SIX COLORS?  GLOSSY?  Was that really necessary.  I would
            preferred a better raise TYVM.
    
            I agree that making everyone aware if this info is important
    	    but...	
            Black and white or better yet, electronically, would have
            been just fine by me.
    
            JJ

    Hey, stop whining!  It's only four colors. %^}

>            Black and white or better yet, electronically, would have
>            been just fine by me.
                                            ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
If you read the pamphlet, you would know that they would have to encrypt the
entire thing (according to the policy it talks about) since it uses the
string equivalent to "extremely limited dispersal" (I cannot type what it
really says 'cuz then I would have to encrypt this note then shoot myself :-).

BTW:  While mine was the color glossy, someone made up for it by trampling it
      under construction equipment (or at least it has that appearance).

-Joe

    "I can tell you what I do for a living...but then I'd have to kill you."
    
    This, over a pamphlet on "How to Answer Your Phone"?????

    re: .153
    
    If they want people to understand the classifications better, they can
    start by having Reader's Choice stop the process of overconfidentiallizing
    (how's THAT for a non-verb!  8^) memos.
    
    I still remember getting some disaster relief memo with Digital
    Confidential splattered on it.  As if H-P would kick our butt in the
    marketplace if they knew the address of the Red Cross.
    
    Other memos come the same way.  The body says "(was INTERNAL)" but it
    has been upgraded for no reason to Digital Confidential.  One recent
    one had simple summaries of articles from external news sources.  Gee,
    someone better send operatives to IBM to keep them from reading the
    Wall Street Journal and PC Week.  Better yet, let's classify all
    external media as Digital Confidential and then sue our competitors for
    violation of our trade secrets.
    
    -- Russ

    Then, there's the memo I just read which tells me the Web location of
    the new issue of the Corporate Research quarterly publication.
    
    Of course, I can't tell you where it is, since that information (the
    location) is Digital Confidential...
    
    -- Russ

	When they first established the new classification system some years
	ago, the training we took stressed that care should be taken not
	to over-classify material. As I remember, the problem legally is
	that such over-classification could cause REAL classified material
	to become unprotected.

	Don't know what they are teaching these days, but it might be 
	worth a look.

Jim

    Yep, the pamplet is so secure that the page with blank lines to write
    in the name/phone of your site security person cannot be written on!
    Pencil, pen, and marker to do not work.  Perhaps fingernail polish
    or some such might work (but then again, it might disolve the finish
    on the paper).
    
    				-John

    >                        <<< Note 3702.160 by TLE::REAGAN "All of this chaos makes perfect sense" >>>
    >
    >Yep, the pamplet is so secure that the page with blank lines to write
    >in the name/phone of your site security person cannot be written on!
    
    John - this is the ultimate in information protection - Write Only !!
    And also that only by authorized personel. BTW, what promopted you to
    try writing on it ?

    				ANNOUNCEMENT
    
    To get the correct names and phone numbers printed on self-adhesive
    labels that you can affix to your Proprietary Information Protection
    Guide, send US$75.00 and your return address to your Geography Security
    Manager.
    
    To get his/her name and phone number, consult your Proprietary
    Information Protection Guide.
    
    This is mandatory for all employees in the <Earth> geography.  Optional
    for others.
    
    -Securo the Magnificent

    I didn't know where else to put this, but...
    
    I just saw a report on NBC-TV's national news program (Nightside) on 
    how Digital has scrapped it's voicemail system so that customers will
    talk directly to people.
    
    Good press.  They didn't let on that it was only one organization,
    though.
    
    -- Russ

It's not "only one organization".  It's the main "Americas" call center you
get at 1-800-DIGITAL.

				Steve

    re: .164
    
    I stand corrected.
    
    I should have said "one LARGE organization".  Hundreds of customers
    will call DIGITAL this week and get voicemail.  1-800-DIGITAL handles
    only a portion of our customer interactions.  There are still massive
    quantities of customer interactions which are aimed directly at sales,
    service, and support personnel in the field and elsewhere.
    
    Voicemail is still alive and well (if you can call it that) at DIGITAL.
    
    -- Russ

    Try calling the support center 800-354-900.  Once you get through the
    automated tree you could get told to call back the same number again
    and press some othe numbers, and no we cant transfer you.
    
    regards,
    
    Robert Johnson 

    In Canada, 1-800-DIGITAL, still get's you to Voice Mail.
    rtt

    I was simply trying to "turn on" support service my customer purchased. 
    I had DEC# and QT part, but was told by 800-354-9000 to call another
    800 number.  This 800 number was supposed to get me to contract
    administration.  The first thing it asked was to hit "1" if I want to
    talk to GREAT PLANES DISTRICT, "2"if.....  Good thing I called because
    I don't think my customer would know off the top of his head what
    DIGITAL MCS district he is in.  Hitting the appropriate district, I got
    a recording like "I'm out of town and unavailable until next Tuesday,
    leave a message...."
    
    Then I decided to take this issue to 800-DIGITAL, talked to several
    great people who eventually were able to turn on this sw service. 
    I spent approximately 2 hours on the phone to get this $500 service
    (that I'm not even supposed to be selling) initiated, not to mention
    the time of several people at the 800-DIGITAL.
    
    The call center concept is EXCELLENT, but we have along way to go (like
    get the rest of the company on track) to make Digital an easier company
    with which to do business.  I still find most things as easy as pushing
    a rope.  I am just glad it was me spinning cycles in the mill rather
    than the customer - but neither of us should have to go through that.

    There are several phone numbers that ring into the America's Call
    Center here in TAY2 (Littleton, MA), including 800-DIGITAL.  They
    haven't eliminated voicemail; what they have done is to eliminate the
    "press 1 if you are calling from a rotary phone" ;-) procedure.  A
    person (the Customer Care Agent) answers the phone and tries to direct
    your call to the appropriate queue.  He/she also  creates/updates a
    profile which automatically pops up on the support person's PC, so they
    don't have to ask for it all again.  The call can be transferred to
    sales directly if the person says "that's exactly what I want; how do I
    buy one."
    
    It's pretty slick, although they still have some bugs to work out. 
    Part of the operation moved from MKO, which is a fair distance away,
    in a state with no income tax. So attrition has been a problem.
    
    The 800-354-9000 number still requires punching in numbers.  I don't
    know where that rings. 
    
    Ben
    (not directly part of the Call Center)