Conference 7.286::digital

    Friday the 13th?
    
    The malarky in -1 doesn't even mention Post-Its (tm).
    
    It's an evil omen when senior financiers don't even know
    how to save this company money.
    
    sheesh! and they want to lay US off!
    
    -bruce

    By the By..... COSMOS (the place where all those officed supplies come
    from) has been disabled.  We can't even order envelopes.....  Our mail
    room has told us to "recycle your envelopes"!!!  I can see it now,
    
    	"Yes {Mr. Customer}, even though that quote was in ANY COMPANY'S
    name, it really is from Digital."
    
    Those that have expense accounts can probably go out and buy stuff, but
    their not processing MPV's (Misc. Procurement Voucer) either so; whats
    a mail clerk to do?
    
    Toodles.....JP

I heard that supplies included soap and toilet paper for the bathrooms...


















:-)

If they're taking the toilet paper, at least they could leave the soap!

Are these steps being taken to ensure a profitable Q4?  Would these measures make
the difference.?

Or or we in such a decline that we (those that are left) will be forced to forage
for food?

How depressing!

    re: .0  stopping travel and offite meetings ...
    
    Pardon me, but is anyone really bothering to read this memo?  My main
    customer just came back from DECUS, and his first words to me were:
    
    "Gee, every second person at DECUS was a Digital person. Where were
    all the customers?"
    
    And I've been invited to no less than two different offsite meetings
    next week (I haven't decided which one to go to, waiting to see what's
    catered in for lunch).
    
    Meanwhile, we have revenue projects on hold because we can't purchase
    a $200 piece of PC software to complete the job. And we have highly-paid
    sales and software professionals spending even *more* time doing more
    reports and justification memos than ever before, instead of spending
    time with customers. The office is full of people these days, typing
    away at their terminals furiously, but for what?
    
    Geoff

My guess is that a lot of DEC, Er, Digital employees at DECUS
were managers taking advantage of the fact that *they* sign for
travel and wanted to be able to take advantage to 'network' with 
customers for future employment opprotunities.

Of course, the rest of us will be left holding the bag as
per usual.

-Publius

    RE: .6  by DPDMAI::UNLAND 
    
    >The office is full of people these days, typing away at their terminals
    >furiously, but for what?
    
    Updating their resumes?
    

.0 sounds like a first-aid solution for a head wound: Apply turnicate
(sp?) to the neck, hold tight until bleeding stops.

I understand our need to be frugal, but geesh... how are we to do routine
business like this? Mr. Unland rightly cites an example of this kind of
folly.

Lee

    Jack Smith (Mr. "Read my lips: no more Post-It Notes!") must still be
    with us.
    

    Interesting......if, as is rumoured, some of the recent top-level hires
    are on short-term contracts and are not regular employees, then we are
    likely to see their disappearance soon, seeing that all expenditure on
    external consultants is stopped forthwith.?
    
    John

.7
    >My guess is that a lot of DEC, Er, Digital employees at DECUS
    >were managers taking advantage of the fact that *they* sign for
    >travel and wanted to be able to take advantage to 'network' with 
    
    That would be a violation of PP&P, wouldn't it?
    
    ed

I realize this is a very personal decision, but I vote:

Keep the toilet paper.
Axe the soap.

Gotta have your priorities.

    Thought I taught you better'n that, Steve!  You can always wash your
    appendages after any dirty deed with soap, but you can't get rid of the
    odor (from even an inadvertant slip) with toilet paper, now, can you?
    
    							Tex

Whoever said that we got a vote???

As I understand it, there's a committee being set up to study
Lavatory Efficiency Enhancement techniques.  Their results
are expected Q1FY95...

>>As I understand it, there's a committee being set up to study
>>Lavatory Efficiency Enhancement techniques.  Their results
>>are expected Q1FY95...

Acronymically, wouldn't that be the Lavatory Optimisation Organization?

JPB

    Forget about the vote, toilet paper, soap .. to save the cost.  If we 
    are doing the same way as Singapore that $500.00 fine for not flushing 
    the toilet we may be very profitable!

    How about making the toilets PAY TOILETS to cover the expense of the 
    soap and paper?

    
    I hope they put change machines in the restrooms then. It would be 
    a real pain to run around the office and ask for change.  

Re pay toilets

This could be good news for nonrevenue generating groups that are trying
to justify their existance. They could claim the monies from the proceeds
gained from use of said pay toilets. However youd invariably have the
odd manager overtaken by greed whod not properly stock the restrooms in
an attempt to make the bottom line look better....usually occuring near the end
of the quarter. Then again if corporate caught wind of it theyd probably grab
the $$$ for themselves by forming an internal pay toilet business unit (IPTBU).
 

	Sounds like the making of yet another VP (with mandatory staff 
	positions!) position.

							mike

	Forget coin operated toilets.

	Lets go leading edge technology.
	KEYCARD entry in all restrooms. The readers
	could then send the badge numbers to a central
	(or distributed) processing center where
	It would not only collect data for billing
	purposes but could also inform your manager
	as to your where abouts. In the event that you
	make too many visits/hour (s)he could restrict
	your access. (this would make a good civil rights
	case). Finally the statistics gathered would
	assist in the optimization of the restroom cleaning 
	schedule and the reallocation of available unused
	space.

	Just think, how many jobs we may be able to
	save by putting the engineers and programmers
	to work developing such a system. We might even
	be able to sell a few. I can just see our new
	ad line "DIGITAL HAS TO GO NOW". We might even
	be able to answer the age old question "Do women
	really spend more time in bathroom...".

	!!! Ok, I may be getting carried away but don't
	be suprised if a senior manager picks up the 
	idea.

    OK, Goddard.  You're the type that works crossword puzzles, aren't you?
    For those of us who didn't read between the perforations, so to speak...
    
>This could be good news for nonrevenue generating groups that are trying
>to justify their existance. They could claim the monies from the proceeds
>gained from use of said pay toilets. However youd invariably have the
>odd manager overtaken by greed whod not properly stock the restrooms in
>an attempt to make the bottom line look better....usually occuring near the end
           ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^                              ^^^
>of the quarter. Then again if corporate caught wind of it theyd probably grab
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^             ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>the $$$ for themselves by forming an internal pay toilet business unit (IPTBU).
    
      Phew!  Let me get my second wind!  Some of these are real stinkers, I
      tell ya!  But I'm not one to let something pass me, no, Sir!  Let me
      wipe this grin off my...face, and get back to work.
      
      							Tex

    re: .22  I heard that both Cirrus and Plus have been negotiating to
    pick the POS portion of the keycard idea.  Since we will be on line for
    the total, we can handle the financial transaction at the same time, if
    we make the keycard access the debit card (No credit facilities).
    
    This will replace the attendants we have here in the field, and I hate
    having to tip a $1.00 just to have them say "Good morning" and hand me a
    hot towel.  

    
    >> ...................................................... It would be 
    >> a real pain to run around the office and ask for change.  
    
    
    Some people have been doing that around here for ages.
    
    Ian.

    
     All this talk of toilet paper brings back past memories of cost
    cutting ideas in a land far away and a company that did not understand
    culture. You see, we were contracted to provide services. Those
    services naturally had some poddy paper associated with them. Well....
    seems we were putting in far to many cost overruns on the services.
     A war escalated, first came post-its, then office supplies, then cars,
    then bodies, and finally toilet paper. Toilet paper actually made the
    list due to the cultural differences we were experiencing.
    
     Those of us that were left defiantly paraded around the offices and
    complexes with personal toilet paper hung around our necks. Needless to
    say this provided the right kind of message to our management, and our
    hosts.
    
     Now if we could only drum up such a message from the field. I
    personally liked the eight-paks across my back. Made it unnecessary
    to carry a sleeping bag.
    
    -Mike Z.

    
    Hey, I got an idea that'll really boost profits on the pay-toilet
    idea!! They could spike the coffee in the cafeteria with laxatives!!
    
    (good thing I don't drink coffee!!)
    
    Steve B.

    Overheard in the toilet this morning...
    
    "Hey buddy, would you pass me the extra roll of toilet paper please?"
    
    A>  "Sorry, not only is there no extra roll, I'm not so sure there's
    even enough for me."
    
    (after a brief pause).. "Got a newspaper over there that I can use?"
    
    A> "Sorry, no newspaper"
    
    (again a brief pause)...
    "Got an envelope to spare?"
    
    A> " Sorry, but no envelope"
    
    "Got two fives for a ten?"

    re: .28

    You forgot to ask for the SEARS catalog!


    Sign of the times:

    	

    		_________________________________________
    		|					|***
    		|					|
    		|	OUT 	OF	ORDER		|
    		|					|
    		|					|
    		|	WAITING FOR PARTS		|
    		|					|
    		|					|
    		-----------------------------------------
    			(written on paper toweling)
    			    affixed to potty door
    				HLO facility


    	




					
    *** been there for the last several months!
    		
    	

    This is real life folks!  At least they provide a couch to sit on
    in order for gravity not to kick in while waiting.

    
    They could install parking meters at all the sites.  Every little bit
    helps ya know.

    I've just received what I can only call extremely sad news. 
    Apparently, Jim Goddard's stand on the DEC 131313 utensil ordering and
    toilet reforms was not popular with management and he has been given
    his marching papers.  He said his manager actually tore up copies of
    both DEC 131313 AND ISO 90001 in front of him, laughing, during the
    exit interview.
    
    We shall miss Jim's input on cafeterias and output in toilets all over
    the world.  Please, fellow Deccies, the next time you pluck a fork from
    a utensil holder in the cafeteria or pass a piece of Charmin through
    the Hidden Valley, observe a moment of silence for Jim.  A good man,
    who did his damndest to effect meaningul change.
    
    							Tex

    Well, I just heard from a former co-worker that MKO2 has been sold.
    They will be moving the remaining people into building 1. The person
    who relayed this info was just tapped, as are apparently a sizable
    population of MKO2.

    More "good" news: Hewlett Packard announced earnings today...
    and had **$6.25B** in revenue, almost double of Digital's
    $3.25B in revenue this last quarter.  Assuming that Hewlett
    Packard remains as the "benchmark" for revenue per employee,
    and HP didn't add too many employees this last quarter, that
    doesn't bode well for employment here (unless our revenue
    increases substantially).  kb

>    They could install parking meters at all the sites.  Every little bit
>    helps ya know.

  Don't laugh. Some people (outside Digital) have seriously proposed this as
a way to encourage use of carpools and public transport. Yes, they do make
8-hour parking meters.

    RE:.29

    >This is real life folks!  At least they provide a couch to sit on
    >in order for gravity not to kick in while waiting.

    	This may be so in the ladies rooms, the men at DEC are expected to
    either tough it out or tie a knot in it.  :^) No couches for the guys 
    but now I at least I understand why women spend 3 to 4 times longer in 
    the ladies room than men.  There wouldn't be a magazine rack next to that
    couch would there? :^)

    Joe

    	If we keep chasing HP's revenue per employee number using our
    current technique of simply cutting costs and praying that revenues
    remain steady, we may need to get down to 1 or 2 people.
    	It appears that Fidelity is buying all the Digital buildings and
    hiring like mad. I'm hoping I can just stay in the same office and just
    start working for Fidelity at some point.

    Re: .33, not true.  MKO2 has not been sold.  It is "available" in the
    sense that any reaonable/attractive offers to buy or lease it will be
    "entertained", but none have been made and/or accepted to date.  I am
    plugged into the Site Mgt. committee and Site Services folks here and
    am aware that they are considering all possibilities to get more
    efficient with space.  
    
    Also, just saw a memo specifically shooting down this building sold
    rumor and the MRO4 one.  Perhaps things are in negotiation, but nothing
    has been consumated...

    .38 - Hi Jack!  Yup, saw same official memo about the rumours of
    "selling" MRO4 and MKO2 being just that, rumours.
    
    Of course, in these crazy times, anything could happen.

    Hi,
    
    Just heard MKO2 will be sold (to Microsoft?). Any backup to this rumor?
    
    Linda
    

    Gee, I hope it's true. And that they're hiring.
    
    		Alfred

    Already being discussed in 3070.
    
    Cheers,
    
    /m

    <- hard to relate the pay toilets and parking meters discussions
    to MKO2 being sold to MS...
    
    /Bob<

    
    
    	He's got a point...
    
    
    	Like we all have time to read about pay toilets and parking meters,
        sporks and such....
    
    	But I guess the way it's looking, many do.... 

I saw a memo last week from someone in property
management that basically said the rumors about MKO and
MRO were untrue at this time.