| T.R | Title | User | Personal
Name | Date | Lines |
|---|
| 226.1 | I've heard better sheep jokes | BUDMAN::RYAN | dangerous dan | Wed Dec 03 1986 23:39 | 4 |
|
dd;
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| 226.2 | we're talking OLD material | EXODUS::SEGER | this space intentionally left blank | Thu Dec 04 1986 11:37 | 7 |
| Sounds like a bunch of people who never got Bad Joke Of the Day mailed
to them. This was out at least 5 years ago. Now the real question is
how many DEC engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?
2 -- one always quits in the middle of the project.
-mark
|
| 226.3 | Then theres... | APOLLO::CASSIDY | Hail to the Purple, Hail to the Gold | Thu Dec 04 1986 12:42 | 8 |
| Then there is the one : (with apologies to CSSE)
How many DEC Field Service engineers does it take to change a tire?
Five -- four to hold the car up while the fifth swaps tires until
he finds the bad one.
Charlie
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| 226.4 | Another bad joke | GRAMPS::LISS | ESD&P Shrewsbury | Thu Dec 04 1986 14:42 | 9 |
| This one was told to me about eight or nine years ago by a Raytheon
employee.
How many people work at DEC?
I guess about half of them.
Fred
|
| 226.5 | The truth hurts. | BLUES::HATCHER | | Thu Dec 04 1986 16:35 | 10 |
| This may have been out a bunch of years ago, but it seems to still
be true today.
Has the process gotten better or worse? Are we better off now than
we were five years ago?
Let's hear it!
Bob Hatcher
|
| 226.6 | How many VMS programmers does it take | MAY20::MINOW | Martin Minow, MSD A/D, THUNDR::MINOW | Thu Dec 04 1986 16:50 | 3 |
| to change a light bulb.
One, but you can never change it back again.
|
| 226.7 | Shedding a little light on the subject | THEBAY::WAKEMANLA | Cybernetic Etymologist | Thu Dec 04 1986 17:32 | 16 |
| How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
Is it a bug light?
Thats a hardware problem?
5, one to change the bulb and four to document it.
This last one also applies to Californians, one to change it and
four to share the experience.
Larry - Native Californian (San Francisco Bay Area)
|
| 226.8 | nothing like getting off the subject! | EXODUS::SEGER | this space intentionally left blank | Fri Dec 05 1986 15:35 | 9 |
| how many unix/ultrix programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
7! 3 to write the application and 4 to hack the kernel
how do VMS programmer's change a lightbulb?
they hold the bulb and wait for the world to turn around them
-mark
|
| 226.9 | And we digress even further | THEBAY::WAKEMANLA | Cybernetic Etymologist | Fri Dec 05 1986 18:19 | 5 |
| >how do VMS programmer's change a lightbulb?
And the correct answer is:
None, it can't be done in VMS
|
| 226.10 | Continuation of .3 | ULTRA::CHILDS | Ed Childs | Fri Dec 05 1986 20:04 | 5 |
| RE: .3
Q: And how long will it take to change the tire?
A: It depends on how many flat ones they brought with them!
|
| 226.11 | It won't take long at all. | NSSG::FUSCI | DEC has it (on backorder) NOW! | Fri Dec 05 1986 20:31 | 3 |
| As soon as the first spare is found to be bad, they'll "P1" a new car!
Ray
|
| 226.12 | I heard this one | NEWVAX::ESTEKI | | Sat Dec 06 1986 04:46 | 5 |
| RE: .2
>how many DEC engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they have marketing trun it into a feature!!..
|
| 226.13 | Funny, but | EXIT26::STRATTON | We're gonna need a bigger boat | Sun Dec 07 1986 21:35 | 4 |
| Can we move this to JOKES.NOTE, please? Thanks.
Jim Stratton
|
| 226.14 | If it's too hot in hte kitchen..... | JON::ROZETT | | Fri Dec 12 1986 13:47 | 8 |
| re: .13
WHY? These jokes are most certainly relative to life at DEC!!
Even though most are humorous on the surface, they may very well
have some very serious things to say about the way we are!!!!!
|
| 226.15 | What a laugh!! | DEPOT::FLATHERS | | Wed Dec 24 1986 14:02 | 4 |
|
Reply to #.6 What a laugh!!!! I used to work at Raytheon in Waltham
about 10 years ago. And if I worked more than 2 hours a day, I was
accused of "killing someone elses job"!
|
| 226.16 | Moved by Moderator | PIWACT::KLEINBERGER | Most of an angel is in the inside | Fri Oct 07 1988 18:25 | 331 |
| <<< HUMAN::DISK$HUMAN_WRKD:[NOTES$LIBRARY]DIGITAL.NOTE;1 >>>
-< The DEC way of working >-
================================================================================
Note XXX.0 How Many DECies? 22 replies
CEOSRV::CROWLEY "Noting Ventured, Noting Gained" 71 lines 5-OCT-1988 16:51
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[original distribution lists removed per request.]
HOW MANY DECies DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHTBULB?
ANSWER:
2 people - Preliminary discussion on concept of change
1 person - Devise and write formal bulb architecture
2 people - Feasibility study and timetable of events
2 people - Produce four utilities to reduce screw-in time
( this is in addition to the ELECTRIC UTILITY)
1 person - Maintain ISO and DEC standards (sockets, voltage, AC/DC)
4 people - Commonalty task force on bulb change
15 people - change light bulb
5 people - perform bulb functional test
2 people - perform bulb load test
3 people - perform bulb regression test
1 person - perform bulb performance test
1 person - perform bulb bottleneck analysis
1 person - follow-up study ( bulb merge feasibility )
1 person - Interface with utilities commission
1 person - interface with users ( Did they want incandescent when we
supply non-tunable fluorescent point product, BAX- Bulb are
expensive!)
5 people - Perform BOSE ( Build Other Socket Enhancements )
3 people - Perform VIA ( Voltage Increases Amps ) Phase 2 compatibility
architecture/study
2 people - Ensure form ( round, square, clear/frosted) follows function
(wattage, 120/240 V, visible/ultra-violet, flashing,
flood/spot)
3 people - implement temporary alternative bulb socket
for already existing, profitable socket. (bulb-in-one)
5 people - Determined how to market/package/distribute temporary
alternative bulb socket
10 people - determine how to perform bulb product split
Control -- switches vs. dimmers
Implementation -- screw-in torque, recovery strategies
1 person - Interface with utilities commission QA group
1 person - submit to BDC (Bulb Distribution Center)
1 person - set up BPR system (Bulb Problem Reports)
10 people - Answer customer BPR's
11 people - Football team to challenge bulb changers
_______
94 DECcies to change a light bulb !!!!
================================================================================
Note xxx.1 How Many DECies? 1 of 22
CEOSRV::CROWLEY "Noting Ventured, Noting Gained" 5 lines 5-OCT-1988 16:54
-< And don't forget... >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And we might as well add,
2 People -- Moderators of the inevitable BULBS Conference
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Note xxx.2 How Many DECies? 2 of 22
EAGLE1::EGGERS "Tom,293-5358,VAX&MIPS Architecture" 11 lines 5-OCT-1988 17:56
-< 5 more >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And
1 person -- Co-ordinate with the fire project
2 people -- End-of-life-cycle planning
1 person -- Verify eye-safety standards
--------
100 people
================================================================================
Note xxx.3 How Many DECies? 3 of 22
CHUCKM::MURRAY "Chuck Murray" 3 lines 5-OCT-1988 18:37
-< Don't forget us tech writers. >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Re: < Note xxx.0 by CEOSRV::CROWLEY "Noting Ventured, Noting Gained" >
You forgot the documentation...
================================================================================
Note xxx.4 How Many DECies? 4 of 22
SRFSUP::MORRIS "Invisible, intelligent or pretty" 6 lines 5-OCT-1988 20:27
-< we *need* more overhead >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And what about the inevitable re-organization in the middle of the
project?
Ashley in smogland
================================================================================
Note xxx.5 How Many DECies? 5 of 22
NYEM1::MILBERG "Barry Milberg" 13 lines 6-OCT-1988 00:07
-< for the Enterprise answer >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
multiply by:
number of cross-functional organizations involved
and then
multiply again by:
number of geographic boundaries crossed
-Barry-
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Note xxx.6 How Many DECies? 6 of 22
VMSNET::WOODBURY "Atlanta Networks/VMS Support" 1 line 6-OCT-1988 00:21
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So that's why DEC stock took such a hit today! 8^}
================================================================================
Note xxx.7 How Many DECies? 7 of 22
CURIE::SRINIVASAN 5 lines 6-OCT-1988 07:32
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Some one has " Digital"ized this joke, which used to be very common
in Auto world in Detoit. The original joke was " How many EDS people
it takes to change a light bulb ? Answer was ""WE DO NOT KNOW- WE ARE
STILL HIRING...
================================================================================
Note xxx.8 How Many DECies? 8 of 22
CVG::THOMPSON "Grump grump grump" 1 line 6-OCT-1988 10:26
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What about internationalization issues?
================================================================================
Note xxx.9 How Many DECies? 9 of 22
MISFIT::DEEP "This NOTE's for you! " 17 lines 6-OCT-1988 10:29
-< I hate this new math! 8^) >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
re: < Note xxx.2 by EAGLE1::EGGERS "Tom,293-5358,VAX&MIPS Architecture" >
^^^^
! -< 5 more >-
!
! And
!
! 1 person -- Co-ordinate with the fire project
!
! 2 people -- End-of-life-cycle planning
!
! 1 person -- Verify eye-safety standards
!
Hmmm... 1 + 2 + 1 = 5 ... So *THATS* how MIPS get figured! 8-)
Bob
================================================================================
Note xxx.10 How Many DECies? 10 of 22
EAGLE1::EGGERS "Tom,293-5358,VAX&MIPS Architecture" 9 lines 6-OCT-1988 11:04
-< alpha hit >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hmmmm. <blush, blush>, errrr ---
Would you believe an alpha hit in the subtotal calculation routine?
Note .0 listed 94 people
.1 2
my .2 4 (not 5, thank you for the correction)
--------
100 I got this subtotal right (I hope)
================================================================================
Note xxx.11 How Many DECies? 11 of 22
MIST::SHORT 9 lines 6-OCT-1988 12:25
-< wasn't the lightbulb project cancelled? >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You also forget the STF meeting, another dozen or so people.
And the real answer is you can't change a light bulb...
The project got cancelled!
================================================================================
Note xxx.12 How Many DECies? 12 of 22
JETSAM::HANAUER "Mike... Bicycle~to~Ice~Cream" 9 lines 6-OCT-1988 13:06
-< No lightbulbs = Mushroom >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> The project got cancelled!
So that's why I've been in the dark for so long.
~Mike
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Note xxx.13 How Many DECies? 13 of 22
WHIRL::HCROWTHER "Harry Crowther = US/DIS/DRC = 223-1" 1 line 6-OCT-1988 13:30
-< It's deja vu all over again! >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
See also #226 above...
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Note xxx.14 How Many DECies? 14 of 22
BOLT::MINOW "Fortran for Precedent" 3 lines 6-OCT-1988 14:38
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
One, but you can never change it back again.
M.
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Note xxx.15 How Many DECies? 15 of 22
INCH::RUSSELL "I've never seen it do *that* before!" 12 lines 7-OCT-1988 04:06
-< The correct answer is.... >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
no, no, no.
You've all missed the correct answer, which is zero.
Why?
Because real Deccies aren't afraid of the dark....
:^) :^) :^) :^) :^) :^) :^) :^) :^) :^) :^)
Peter.
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Note xxx.16 How Many DECies? 16 of 22
CVG::THOMPSON "Grump grump grump" 6 lines 7-OCT-1988 09:23
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A related topic is "How many Software Engineers does it take
to change a light bulb?"
None. That is a hardware problem.
Alfred
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Note xxx.17 How Many DECies? 17 of 22
SRFSUP::MORRIS "Invisible, intelligent or pretty" 6 lines 7-OCT-1988 11:06
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb?
1, but the lightbulb has to *want* to change.
Ashley
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Note xxx.19 How Many DECies? 19 of 22
EAGLE1::EGGERS "Tom,293-5358,VAX&MIPS Architecture" 5 lines 7-OCT-1988 11:19
-< CA >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
How many Californians does it take to change alight bulb?
Five. One to change the bulb and four to share the experience.
================================================================================
Note xxx.20 How Many DECies? 20 of 22
ULTRA::HERBISON "Communication is the root of insecu" 5 lines 7-OCT-1988 12:19
-< What does this have to do with `The DEC way of working'? >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
How many moderators does it take to stop this discussion?
I'd like to find out.
B.J.
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Note xxx.21 How Many DECies? 21 of 22
DR::BLINN "This space intentionally left blank" 6 lines 7-OCT-1988 14:23
-< Good point.. >-
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Good point, B.J. Further contributions that tie this to the
"DEC way of working" are welcome, but extensions of the "how
many 'x' does it take to change 'y'" probably belong in the
non-existent HUMOR conference (or the under-wraps JOKES).
Tom
================================================================================
Note xxx.22 How Many DECies? 22 of 22
MISFIT::DEEP "This NOTE's for you! " 0 lines 7-OCT-1988 14:49
-< Ok, Dad... 8^) >-
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