Conference trucks::football;1

    
    Saturday Edition of the Times.....
    
    Guinness Advert....Anti-Pasta....
    
    Monday Edition of the Times......
    
    Guiness Advert....Michaelangelo,Enzo Ferrari, Giorgio Armani, Jack
    Charlton have all left their mark on Italy....
    
    

Seemingly the banner voted best by the media at the Ireland v Italy game was...

An Irish Tri-Colour with the words emblasoned on it in big black Letters..

"ITALY ME ARSE !"

Peter.

    Not really World Cup, but........
    
    The last game in Ireland before they left for America.
    
    All the advertising hoardings around the park had brand names like....
    
    JVC, Adidas, McDonalds, Coca Cola, Guiness.....and their behind both
    goals and at the half way line....."Pat The Baker"....must be some
    bakery.......well it looked funny to me.
    
    colin.

    Large sign seen outside an Italian Restaurant in the midlands (of 
    Ireland) on Sunday (apparently):
    
    
    		"IRELAND for the World Cup"
    
    
    		   "ITALY for Ice Cream"
    
    
    I'm not sure whether this was the work of the proprietor or the locals,
    but I like it !
    
    
    Jerry.
          

    
    Was I the only person who noticed about 6 square metres of Union Jack 
    strategically positioned right behind the German team bench last night ?
    
    I couldn't read what was written across it ? Any ideas ? :-)

    
    It probably said "We're sorry for stealing the World Cup in 1966"
    
    Archie 8-))
    
    BTW This flag has been adopted as the English National Flag, but it's
    really the flag of the UK.
    

    Re. the Union Jack.
    It had the name of some German, (or maybe Dutch?) team across the
    middle of it. The Brit flag seems a pretty common sight at alot of
    European club games, don't really know why. Maybe the colours match
    the team, or maybe its something to do with the hooligan element
    (associated with the English).
    
    Al.

    my brother tells me that a bill board in dublin has the following
    advert. picture this ......
    
    Big billboard with a tri-colour on it and terry venebles (sp?) face
    slap bang in the middle . The caption reads .....
    
    		Don't worry Tel...we'll get you some duty free
    
    		Ireland have our strips, England our sympathies
    
    		Adidas

    
    re.-1 
    
    Snigger, I wonder if Adidas are using the same advertising campaign in
    England?
    
    Al.

    The commentator of Belgium - Morrocco, can't remember who, was
    explaining that Hadji wasn't to be confused with the similarly named,
    but slightly more famous, Romanian player. It went something like.
    
    "Hadji is spelt with a 'd' and a 'j' unlike his namesake, Hagi"
    
    Mind you, I couldn't do much better. But there again I'm not being paid
    lot's of dosh to go to watch the WC..
    
    Paul.
    

    
    Guy Roux, the Auxerre's trainer, who is commenting for the French TV, 
    asked the question: 
      How can you score two goals without having entered the field ?
    
      Answer after some guesses
    
     PYV

    
    If the other team is late in turning up ????
    
    	(memories of Chile v USSR 1974 qualifier)
                                                 

you could manage one from a throw in, assuming a defender or the keeper
got a touch to it on the way in without it being deemed an own goal.

So you could be announced as a substitute when the ball goes into touch,
and your first act could be to take the throw in and score. The same could
apply for a corner. 

If by "you" you mean "your team" then the ability to use two substitutes
could account for two goals. As soon as a person scores one goal, even
in the manner described, you would then enter the pitch for the restart.

    
    re: -1 
    
    You have a point with the substitute. But no 2 substitutes, as the same
    player must score twice, while not entering.
    
    Answer:
    
    A substitute enters just when a corner has to be done.
    He shoots it directly in the net and scores.
    At this very moment, it's half time.
    Then, the player stays out of the field.
    
    Game restarts. But, this player has a problem with his shoe and is not 
    allowed to enter. He is obliged to wait for the next game interrupt to
    enter. A corner is got. He enters, shoots it directly and scores.
    
    That's it.
    PYV 
    

        
    ......you only gave us half the story! The match  is a WC 2nd round
    game. In scoring the 2nd goal, the player twists his ankle & goes to
    get some treatment / ice pack etc. He's unable to return but his side
    had already used up thier sub so he's not replaced. At full time the
    result is 2:2. The match goes to extra time and the guy comes back to
    take a corner in the last minute of the 1st period. Goal nr 3. He still
    hasn't been on the pitch. Yes, you've guessed it, he now has a problem
    with his other boot and when the 2nd period starts he's still off the
    pitch. He takes a corner in the dying seconds to make the score 4:4 and
    the match goes to penalties. What a hero, he's scored 4 goals directly
    from corners (must have been a Scottish keeper). He steps up to take
    last penalty, finaly having made it onto the pitch. He blast the ball
    over the crossbar & his team lose. Tough luck eh?
    
    JBG 8-) 

    Well it must be a joke, Shirley? The Irish squads 'record' was on GMTV
    this morning -- makes United's sound wonderful.
    
    Though there was a good chorus line 'Are you watching Jimmy Hill!'

    Allegedly a major French broadcaster was arrested at yesterday's
    Bolivia/Korea game for scalping extra media tickets outside the
    gates.  He had the extra tickets because not all his crew showed up
    for the game--too bad, because the play-by-play guy had no one to
    talk to during halftime as his buddy was in jail!  (Supposedly the
    French broadcaster said that selling extra media tickets is legal
    in France.)
    
    This should probably go under the World Cup Referee note, but I'm
    pressed for time (or "lazy"--you decide)--I was a little irritated that
    Maradona and Co. all get to wear "gold loop earrings" and "chains"
    whereas all the U.S. FIFA refs. make us take them off.  I guess the
    pros just know how to fall better. ;-)
    
    					- Anne Marie 

    
    Bojangles in the Ireland v Mexico game...
    
    " the Mexicans are scared to death of the Irish ".........
    
    yeah, alright Ron.
    
    Dave...(-:
    

    
    Can't remember his name comedian talking about players who act
    injuries.
    " I was watching the Germany game when The doorbell rang, as I got up
    to go to the door I brushed the T.V. and Klinsman went down now I have
    to miss the Korea game"
    
    HoHo
    
    SteveP 

From last night on BBC, as the teams came out for the seond half, Barrie 
Davies and Trevor Brooking (paraphrased);

Well, at 3-0 down all the Koreans can do is keep it tight and try and keep the 
score respectable.

g

    Re .17
    
    Raymond DOMENECH is not a French Broadcaster but he is one of the trainers
    of the French National Team.
    
    For the World Cup, he is only a TV Consultant.
    
    Olivier.

    
>    Raymond DOMENECH is not a French Broadcaster but he is one of the trainers
>    of the French National Team.
	Let's add Information to what has been said on that subject.
	
	DOMENECH is full time trainer of Lyon, and does also take care of
	France Under 21 (I think...). The French football association (FFF)
	in their great wisdom, had bought plenty tickets just to realize
	some times later that they won't need as much since the team did
	not qualify...
	
	Apparently now, one of the jobs of those who were handed over plenty
	tickets for most games is to get rid of them, for whatever seems a
	reasonable amount (Raymond was selling them at half price) just to
	recover part of FFF's loss.
	
	This is at least the "official" version of the story... Bernard
	Tapie's name has not yet been connected with this affair :-)

								.Andre.

    Here's a true story from the WC 86 in Mexico.
    
    Germany wanted to spy on the scots, so Beckenbauer sent the co-trainer
    Berti Vogts to the scotish training, dressed up as hotdog salesman.
    
    The scotish coach, Andy Roxburgh, recognized him and walked up to
    Berti and said:
    - One bratwurst, danke!
    
    /Mats Melke 

    The german spectators seem not to like the American beer. They have a
    flag with, which they show to the german TV cameras (We have own!),
    with big letters on it: SCHICKT DEUTSCHES BIER (send german beer).
    
    I always wondered what the fans are doing between the games... 
    Another flag has "SCHICKT NEUE KONDOME" (send new condoms) on it.

  German beer is by far the best beer in the world after Guinness naturally..
The only decent pint ya get in the states is Sam Adams and the Micro breweries..
the rest is a drop of beer diluted with a lot of water.....

                                                time for a miller.......



                                                          -dave-

    you mean Bud is up to it ?
    

Good line from Alan Hansen at half time in the Germany Korea game talking about
the Korean defence:

	"Their mistake here was turning up."

8-)

mike

    Anyone else noticed how fat the stretcher carriers are ?
    
    Hilarious ! 
    
    At some grounds they wear these sort of wobbly combat trousers full of 
    radios and stuff. At other grounds they wear a big green cross on a white
    T-shirt and these massive lard-arse size shorts.
    
    Must be frightening for a player when one of these bloaters is trying
    to strap them to the stretcher eh ?
    
    Dave WOOD

    
    The policemen are a bit porky too, make no wonder they carry guns, I 
    can't imagine them breaking out into a sprint to catch a crook. Better
    just to let your bullet do the walking.
    
    But lets not get fattist :^)
    
    Al.

    The story behind:
    
    Someone at the EU in Strasbourg thought, it would be a good idea, to
    tell the American police, what hooligans are.
    So they gave them a video tape with two hours of the most brutal and
    bloody hooligan scenes the found at the TV stations all over Europe.
    Someone who has seen ot said: No wonder the US police was preparing for
    a war.

    
    American interviewer:
    	Mr. Berthold, you are one of the players with the highest level of
    	education in the German team, having reached Abitur. Can you say
    	something in English, then ?
    
    Thomas Berthold:
    	Err, 
    
    
    	Big Mac!
    
    

    
    Err Big Mac?
    
    Those three words, along with "ein bier" constitute the sum total of
    my German! Are you sure they are english?
    
    Al (language buff).

Did anyone see George's celebrations for his goal against Greece last night.

The most original yet.

He goes down on all fours. crawls for a couple of metres and then lifts his back
leg like a dog relieving himself.

Most entertaining part of the evening. With the possible exception of Skinner &
Badiell

Al

	The Russian chap has scored the most goals so far in World cup 94, 
	but the highest goal scorer is Diego Maradona.

	Phil.

    re .36
    
    Diego who?

    Finally get a chance to put this in.....
    
    John Motson, Norway v Italy.
    
    "I met Saatchi in an airport just after the European Championships and
    he said "Alathougha Noraway ara gooda side, the besta side ina Scandinavia
    ara Denamark......."
    
    

    

      A Pat Bonner statement after his Fumble against Holland.

     
      "Ye,I made a mistake,But I can handle it" .......NO you didn't


     SCott

	From ITV (U.K.) commentator last night Brazil vs UAS.


        Soccer is the 4th most popular game in the USA behind:

        American football, Ice Hockey, Basketball and baseball.



         Steve.

    
    Well I liked it how John Motson said....
    
    	"Well lets see if Holland can get a consolation goal..." when they
    were already 2-0 up! :->
    
    Rick.

    
    The German commentators are eager to repeat at least twice per
    match that soccer is ranked somewhere in the fifties.
    
    Behind bowling and fly-fishing.
    
    Heiko

    
    
     Another J.Motson one.
    
     Just after Leonardo was sent of he said" he was very effective going 
    down the right on the left.
    
    
    SCott

    SKY commentator on one of Brazil's group matches.......
    
    He kept refering to Romario and then calling Brazil, Barcelona.....
    
    "And Brazil are in danger here......." They had just had a header at
    goal, needless to say I turned over to ITV/BBC for some decent
    commentary.....8*)
    
    colin

    Colin,                
    
    Are you sure you were looking at SKY and not Eurosport ?  I didn't
    think SKY were ahowing any of the games, apart from clips on SKY News
    which show the ITV logo in the corner.
    
    I've been looking at most of the games on Eurosport (until I get fed up
    of listening to the b******t from Archie Mac and the other commentator
    whose name escapes me (I'm not talking about Ray Clemence !).
    This other guy spent half the game last night praising the
    Bulgarian who was filling in at right back. He described this as "A
    very unorthodox position". Later (I really hope I dreamt this !), he
    described the same guy as "Without a shadow of certainty my Man of the
    Match. Definitely the most committedest player on the pitch".  After
    that one, once I stopped laughing, I switched over to ORF1 where the
    Austrian commentator spoke something which bore a closer resemblence to
    English ;-)
    
    Jerry.
    

    YEP, your right, Eurosport (with the new logo) and it wasn't Archie it
    was the other numpty.
    
    Watched the Italy game and when Albertini(?) kicked the Nigerian in the
    nuptials some of the comments were........
    
    "I've seen players booked for tackle(s) less than that.....is he going 
    to be booked for that........" as the camera was on the
    prostrate player lying on the ground, what would the booking be
    for......Deliberately handling the ball(s)....
    
    colin    8*)
    
    P.s. I just call it SKY, that means any channel.

Trevor Brooking during the Mexico v Bulgaria game whilst they were replacing the
goal-posts:

"I'm surprised they didn't bring on a stretcher!!"

Al

    Don't know if this is the correct topic but it made me laugh anyway.
    
    ITV interviewed some "average Americans" last night as a prelude to
    the Romania- Sweden match. When asked "Do you know where Romania is ?"
    they got the following answers.
    
    "Yes, it's in Russia"
    
    "Yes, England, or near that"
    
    "No, overseas I guess ?"
    
    "Yes, it's where the Vampires come from"
    
    Worrying is the fact that answer 4 is the closest to the truth. These
    Yanks must smoke some strange stuff while they're in school.
    
    Kev....

        Probably not intended as humour, but it had me creased up: Jack
    Charlton, interviewed on Italian TV prior to the Sweden-Rumania game:

    (I hadn't heard Jack interviewed for some years now, but I'm beginning
    to understand why the Irish like him so much. This gets the prize for
    the driest, "least boot-licking" interview of all time!)

    Interviewer: So who are your tips for the final?

    J.C. (you'll have to imagine the Geordie accent!): Weell, Rumania and
    Sweden are both looking good; Sweden are very solid, and Rumania have
    Hagi, who always needs watching. Then there's Brazil - I suppose
    they've played the best football so far. Bulgaria? You can't rule out
    any team that beat the Germans...

    I: Errr...and what about Italy?

    J.C. Well, they're a bloody lucky team! You need luck to win anything,
    and Italy are bloody lucky. They've done nowt so far...and they're in
    the semi-finals. Very lucky indeed.

    I: So you don't think Italy have much hope of winning?

    J.C.: Who knows? Who knows? They're a bloody lucky team. I wouldn't
    write them off. Would *you* write them off? They've had a lot of luck
    so far, and it might well continue. Who knows?

    (Interview suddenly cut short...)
    
    He's not the most articulate of fellows, nor the most diplomatic
    (understatement of the month!), but you've got to give him 10/10 for
    his forthrightness!
    
    Dom

    
    Brian Moore on ITV last night...

    "Sweden and Rumania playing for a place in the 1944 World Cup Final"

    Wrong on two counts Brian. 

    Also he mentioned "Arsenal" twice during a match between a Scandinavian
    side and a Eastern-European side. 
    
    Neil

    
    	Neil, you must have had the sound turned down (can't say I blame
    	for that..). Brian O'Moore mentioned Arsenal many times. I wish
    	it was only twice.
    
    	Andy.

    Well I suppose he did have an excuse - Arsenal have signed one
    of those Swedish chappies haven't they ??   He reminded us all
    of this fact when he was sent off.   He seemed almost proud.
    Schwartz or something isn't it ??
    
    Ray