Conference quokka::non_custodial_parents

416.0. "Whats a man to do" by QUOKKA::34136::AVERY_BR (brett Avery) Sat Mar 22 1997 12:26

Is it me or is someone "messing" with me...

Here's what happened. Some what long, but I thought history was important.

During the year 96 I had been to court 4 times ((2)January , June and Sept)
and each time my EX asked for an increase in support. Each time she was
told NO. (Judge checked the financials told her No increase and me NO decrease.

Now one week before my Sept. court date, I called the DAs' office and informed
them that my 18yr who turned 18 in July, should be dropped from my support
orders per the court order. I was told "You should not worry about that, you go
to court next week regarding custody and after that time we will review your
request." I told HER, "It does not matter if I go to court next week, tomorrow,
or next year, whats right is right and per my court order my 18yr old should be
taken off and I should get a refund for $350 ($175/month)" ( I had promised my
18yr old I'd give her the money, since I haven't seen it (per say (sp)) and
then when they stopped taking the money out of my check we'd split it, 100 to
her, 75 to me. So I send her $100/month WITHOUT my EXs' knowledge. 

But in the mean time.

My 11yr twins visit for the summer for only 30 days, because in court the Ex
said that I never told/informed her that I wanted the kids. But thats a whole
different story..

Now Per my court order, which the DAs' office has a copy, I get my kids for 1
month. Now in my COURT CHILD SUPPORT orders it states, "If children are with
the father for a period of more than 2 weeks, child support shall be cut in
half.. ($420 instead of $840). We had a long discussion of which "they" were
not happy and I was amused.

So when I tell the DA that I had my children for a one month period and my
child support should be cut in half and they owe my $420. ( I promised the
twins the money because of a school camp my EX would not help pay for or even
consider paying for), I'm told to "prove it." I told the LADY, "You have a
court order which states that I have my children from X date to X date." She
says "that doesn't mean you had them." I tell her no it doesn't but I should
not have to prove I did (since the court order says I do) if anything my EX
should have to prove I DID NOT." We had another discussion of which they were
not happy and I again was amused. 

So now its my Sept. court date. While in court the I lost custody of my 
children. I only get them for 3 months and my EX gets to write up the 
agreement, even though we agreed to go with a "shrinks" recommendation,
which was a 9 month/3 month split with us splitting the airfare cost.
So I'm SCREWED here again.

But also in court I presented the DAs' office with a copy of what had happened
the last 2 times I called. I also gave him a copy of the dialog that had gone
on the years previous, where I was told anything from "You should be a father
who cares about his care", even though I had custody, to "just because the court
order says that the kids are with you doesn't mean you have them." (He was
there because once again the EX was asking for more money) I told him "This is
not problem with the WOMAN I dealt with but a problem of the system, where
even thought YOU, the DA have a copy of a/my custody/support order I, the NCP,
have to always prove myself.. 

2 weeks later I get a notice from the DA asking me to fill out some financial
papers. I called them, told them that per the law, my Ex can not ask/get/inquire
about an increase for a year, that she already tried 4, 4 previous times and was
denied, sent them the law, highlighted it. I was told "This is a process that can
not be stopped, and that it was started by me or the EX.." I said fine... I 
filled out the paper work sent it back... 1 month later I get a letter from
the DAs' office telling me the "modificaton inquery has been dropped because
someone did not supply their paperwork. (couldn't be me.)

AND NOW, I have received the SAME paperwork... Should I not respond and then 
they SHOULD drop the case.. (Hell no, they'd take me for all I have. You know
the formula they use salary +cost of living increase + a raise = +40% child
support increase.  or should I phone them and ask if I really have to fill this
out, since 1) she didnt and the case was dropped and 2) nothing has changed from
5 months ago..

BUT maybe I should search real hard for a good lawyer to SUE their @#$%^


Thanks brett

PS. In my 10yrs of having/losing/fighting for custody, this is not the first
time I have been treated with OBVIOUS DISCRIMINATION.
 

    

    re .0

    Welcome to the land of "equal rights".

    >BUT maybe I should search real hard for a good lawyer to SUE their @#$%^

    If you have the evidence to back up what you've said about them
    taking the money even though the kids were with you I certainly
    would, but the trick is they know it will probably cost you more to 
    take them to court than you'll get from them unless you go as your own 
    attorney.  Next time she files for support when she isn't supposed
    to I'd at least ask that she be ordered to pay your attorney fees.

    Next time get out the video camera (or borrow one) and document the
    date by photographing a daily newspaper then the kids.  And DOCUMENT 
    DOCUMENT DOCUMENT.   Keep any plane tickets or fuel receipts  and any 
    other receipts or _any_ paperwork that would show that the kids were 
    there.  Is there anyone that can tetify that they saw the kids with
    you?  A daily diary/journal is admissible evidence in most states.
    
    fred();