Conference quokka::non_custodial_parents

    
    	Paul, I got divorced in Ma. so the process may be different. My ex.
    got almost exactly what your ex is asking for without a hitch. The
    payments were also child support so I also took that hit. Don't look at
    this at trying to get a fair shake. After much discussion in this
    conference at the time of my divorce I just wanted an out where-as I
    could take care of the kids and survive. Luckily I didn't have to pay
    the State guidlines of 28% +/- and all that crap. My payments were
    very similiar to yours. Last year my youngest graduated and got a job
    so I'm done paying support. It she has a """"k for a lawyer good luck.
    I found the tax deduction issue to be almost non-negotiable, which it
    was.
    
    George

    Paul,
    
    	Before you agree on a final divorce decree, outline everything 
    	you want, and then negotiate from that list. Even if you feel 
    	it is a trivial item, add it to the list, which may be bartered
    	away before distilling to the final decree. You are entitled to 
    	much more than you think. I am also from Mass. but I also had an
    	ex that was looking after the "best interest of the child" for 
    	the most part. 
    
    	Mine is written up in the decree, that I get my son as a deduction 
    	on the "odd years" for filing, my ex on the "even years".
    
	Go for it!

    
    Paul,
    
      I have the every other year senario.  It stinks, I pay nearly $200
     a week (one child).  I get bounced from break even one tax year to
     paying April 15th the next.
    
      Don't sign anything your not comfortable with.  Everyone wants to get 
     it over, but the results are what you live with every week/year.  Make
     your "wish" list, add some items that aren't of importance to you and
     conceeed them.  I dealt with a monster, I survived.
    
      My divorce was in NH, but I now reside in Mass.
    
      Good Luck, I've been there
    
     Mark

    	I'm in the same boat but not so close to a final decree yet...only
    I'm paying $350/week for child support for two kids. So stop your
    whining! It could be worse! Anyway, my attorney said that it's becoming
    more common to split the tax deductions (we each take one) and that we
    would propose that and write it into the agreement. The S2BX didn't
    seem to have a big problem with this when I mentioned it, but I guess
    it'll depend on how the rest of it goes. She's been full of little
    surprises so far when she thinks things are going "my way" more than
    she likes.

    
     re .4
    
     Your right I could still be married to the ex.  
    
    Any parent who's pays support knows the financial strain it puts the
    payee under.  I've never, ever, have missed a single C.S. payment.  If
    I'm whinning so be it, I work three jobs to ensure my payments are made.
    My attorny advised me to file bankruptcy, I refused and have dug my way
    out.  I'm entitled to my views. 
    
    It could always be worse, good luck to you.  
      
    M

    
    I have always found it interesting that women who complain about 
    violations are "outraged", but men who complain are "whining".

    fred();

   I always find it interesting how easily a person can use such sweeping 
   generalizations, and then not understand how some people who don't fit
   into those generalizations might feel offended by it.

    
    	If you do end up negotiating such that you get the deduction, 
    make sure that it's written in a manner that the IRS will accept. 
    
    Any mention of such in your divorce decree needs to be UNCONDITIONAL
    i.e. "husband is entitled to the deduction providing he is current
    in his child support payments" may sound logical and realistic but 
    the IRS won't (doesn't have to) accept it. 
    
    Also, there is an IRS form specifically designed for this purpose
    where the parent giving up the exemption signs the form and indicates
    which years (either in list form 1994, 1996, 1998 or in general 
    1994-2000) they are giving up the exemption for. 
    

    
     I have a close family member who works for the IRS.  Make sure any 
     court document or required form is attached stating who has the 
     deduction.  Otherwise they will "question" the deduction, if not now, 
     down the road.
    
     M

    
    My ex and I agreed to a split deduction for our four children.
    She claimed the middle two and I claimed the youngest and oldest
    The oldest was seventeen when we split up so I could 
    only claim him for one year. It worked out well because she
    could claim two deductions during those post divorce years
    when she was establishing a career and needed the financial help.
    I have only one child left now, the youngest and I claim a deduction 
    for him.  Like many of the other fathers in this notesfile , I 
    never missed a CS payment in all those years. One thing for sure 
    is that you will never read about the good fathers in the media!
    Good luck !                            Bill

    
    
    
    I just came across an article in the Spring 95 issue of Single Parent
    magazene titled "Who gets the exemption"  and it discusses this issue
    of tax exemptions for chirdren when filing singly.
    I'll make a copy for anyone interested. Just contact me!
    
                                Bill Perry
                                Salem::Perry_w
                                DTN 285-2428
                                        2188
    

    
    
    	i have 4 children and i get to claim all 4 as long as my ex does
    	not work, she gets to claim the other 2 but not until she works
    	full time

	On a final divorce decree ...

	In your opinion what is better given these choices:

		1)  Pay $400 per month Child Support but get the exemptions
					or
		    Pay less than $400 but give up the exemptions.

	
	Regards,

		Chuck

    Depends on how many children you are paying for.  Remember the savings
    on the exemption is the that you save the _taxes_ on the exemption.
    Not the whole exemtion.  So getting the exemptions may not save you
    all that much.
    
    fred();

    I am just now going through a divorce.
    My lawyer put the every other year scenario in my agreement, and 
    informed me that I have to get a form for the IRS showing that this is
    what we're doing.  Does anyone know what the name/number of this
    form is and where I get it?
    
    At first I didn't think it was 'fair', our son lives with me, the
    child support I receive barely covers the day care expenses, never
    mind all the other expenses.  I just always assumed I would be able
    to claim him as a deduction.   Then I realized my ex also deserves
    a break, as he can't claim the child support he pays me.  Both of
    us will have to pay on our 'off' year.
    It's interesting to see the views from people on the 'other' side
    of the payment process.     

    
      I believe the form is a 2451/52 or 2441.  The IRS will accept a copy 
     of the page from your divorce decree which states the exemption clause.
     I'm in the same situation.  Ever year you claim the child you'll
     need to submit the form or a copy of your decree.
    
      My daughter doesn't live me me.  I'm on the other side of the fence
     I don't see $10,000 worth of child support being spent on my 
     daughter every year.  Its not fair for my daughter or myself, I pay 
     taxes on 10K and only get a tax break every other year.  My daughter
     never gets the benifit of my 10K, + medical, + dental
    
     MM
     never 

    The form number is in the IRS instructions for the 1040 form.  As was 
    said in the previous reply you can submit a copy of the page of the
    divorce agreement that deals with the tax deduction, you also have to
    submit a copy of the signature page of the divorce agreement.
    
    PJ 

    	Since I'm in the process of filling out my tax return now, I want
    to be sure I have this right. I have two children, and my divorce
    decree explicitly states that my ex claims one as a deduction and I
    claim the other. Is it sufficient to provide copies of this part of the
    decree along with the signature page or must I *also* provide this form
    that's been mentioned? Also, where I list my deductions, what do I put
    in the box next to this child's name for the number of months he lived
    with me during the year? I don't have primary physical custody, but I
    have the kids one night during the week and every other weekend.
    Thanks.

    Talk to your cpa on this. Also, I have a feeling that IRS (infernal rev
    service) will say to attach a copy of the final to the returns. I
    vaguely remember doing this myself. 
    

    Every year we attach the first page of the decree, the page that states 
    who gets to claim the children and the final page.  We've never been 
    questioned by the IRS and the tax forms say to either do this - or have 
    that other form signed by the custodial parent (like that would ever
    happen!).  
    
    As for your other question I'll have to look at our return...
                                                        
    joyce