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Conference quokka::non_custodial_parents

Title:Welcome to the Non-Custodial Parents Conference
Notice:Please read 1.* before writing anything
Moderator:MIASYS::HETRICK
Created:Sun Feb 25 1990
Last Modified:Fri Jun 06 1997
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:420
Total number of notes:4370

221.0. "A dad's point of view" by RIPPLE::KENNEDY_KA (Winds of Change) Tue Jul 21 1992 12:05

    With all of the garbage going on about the dead-beat dad bills and
    seeing the other side of the story in here and from other fathers I'm
    in the process of writing an article for the local paper and then for a
    couple of magazines.  I just have a rough (very rough) outline of it. 
    I was wondering if some of you would be willing to give input on your
    stories, how you were treated in court, the financial problems that you
    and so many others go through.  The main theme of the article is that
    most fathers aren't dead-beat dads, they want to be a part of their
    kids lives, but the system makes it hard to do so.  I'm going to be
    using some quotes from John Bradshaw on fathering and how it really
    hurts the child's life to have limited contact with the father.  There
    may be several angles to this story.  Any help you can give would be
    appreciated.  If you give me statistics, please name your source,
    otherwise, I can't use the statistics.
    
    Karen
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221.1example....CCIIS1::ZAGAMEWed Jul 22 1992 14:4026
    Mass. instituted some "guidelines" a couple of years ago which takes
    some of the latitude away from judges giving child support.  I'm not
    sure if they are still in effect, but basically they give recommended
    percentages of income that should be allocated for child support
    regardless of any other circumstances, like income.  Is it really fair
    to take x% of a guy making $25K for child support, and the same x% of
    the guy making $150K?  Fortunately they didn't apply for modifications
    to existing decrees (much to the dismay of my ex) and the last time I
    saw a judge he said he was glad to be able to use common sense instead
    of restrictive guidelines.
    
    Evidently they have to use them unless they can show some solid reason
    not to and many jusdges take the easy way out.  Laws like this,
    designed with good intentions to ensure that custodial parents get
    reasonable support, but only half thought out and restrictive, make it
    hard to be a non-custodial parent.
    
    BTW, these percentages are not low.  I think it was something like 32%
    of gross that they looked for in the case of one child.  Doesn't leave
    much to live on if you are middle income.  Check it out to see if it is
    still in force and what the percentages are.  Could be interesting for
    you.
    
    ciao,
    
    - Steve
221.2A Breif IntroPCCAD::DINGELDEINPHOENIXWed Jul 22 1992 15:2943
    re .1
    You are absolutely correct. The child support "guidlines" were
    instituted back in 1986 for the reasons you stated. They were modestly
    ammended in 1989 but the formula is still the same. The original intent
    was to give the coart a way to manage the support issue between two 
    "hostile" parties. If during a divorce the parents can't agree the
    judge uses the formula. The judge also uses the guidlines as a target
    amount so the custodial parent receives an "adequate" support settlement.
    The formula will allow a reduction or increase in support in regards to
    health insurance, extraordinary travel for visitation and if their is a
    significant difference between the parents individual incomes. Sounds
    wonderful on the surface but the content of the guidlines and how the
    formula works is not fair.
    There was a child support panel convened back in the mid 80's. The
    members of this panel were from DSS, Welfare, the bar, the Judicial
    System and some other government agencies. There was no representation
    of NCP's. Thus a document was created that financialy rapes NCP's "in
    the best interest of children". I've studied this guidline document
    until my eyes turned red. Every time i read it it makes my blood boil!
    In my own case the "system" deems my financial obligation for one 7
    year old daughter to be around $250/week. "THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS!!!"
    As i explain my fate to my freinds and aquaintances i get the same
    response. "You've gotta be kidding me!". It seems the only people who
    feel this formula is fair is this panel that created this mess.
    The way this is played out in real life is simply a tragedy. In almost
    all cases the mother gets the kids. Even if the father shows to be more
    able to provide for them. The courts just shift 1/3 of the fathers
    income to the mother and hopes she'll spend it wisely. There's no
    meaningful accounting of the funds and the custodial parent can forever
    file for modifications to try and soak as much out of the NCP that the
    "judge of the day" feels appropriate. If this judge is having a bad day
    you end up with a miserable life.
    I haven't even begun to explain all the injustice being dished out.
    With garnishment becoming mandatory you have to deal with the DOR to
    staighten out any errors or false claims of arrears. All it takes is
    the CP to complain and arrears is automatic until you prove you've been
    paying. WHAT A MESS!!!
    Gotta get back to work but i'll continue my litany later.
    				dan d
    
    
     
    
221.3RIPPLE::KENNEDY_KAWinds of ChangeThu Jul 23 1992 04:0724
    Dan,
    
    Can I get a copy of that report you mentioned?  What is the name of it? 
    Can you send it to me? 
    
    BTW, there is a good chance that I'm going to be laid off.  :-( 
    Writing this article is super important to me, why I don't know and I'm
    not questioning.  If get laid off, please keep this information coming. 
    My address is:
    
    Karen Kennedy
    P.O. Box 2794
    Renton, WA  98056-2794
    
    I've received lots of information for people who live in New England. 
    I know we have noters from other parts of the country and I'd like info
    from you also.  Another thing I would like is the names and addresses
    of any NCP support groups, actions groups or lobbyists you might have. 
    Either post them here or send me mail please!  
    
    I really appreciate all of the responses so far.
    
    Thanks!
    Karen