Conference quokka::non_custodial_parents

185.0. "MA / CT Lawyer needed...." by PROD01::GSALOIS (The more I know the less I understand) Mon Dec 09 1991 09:08

Ah, well.... here I go again!

Looks like it's time to visit that bastion of beauracracy... family court.
I am looking for a lawyer who can practice family court in both (yes, both)
Massachusetts and Connecticut.

My divorce was in RI back in the days when joint custody was new wave
and my ex received sole custody.  Well, she came back to the well a couple
of years ago and asked for more money... after some negotiation, I 
voluntarily raised the support.

Seems like she's back at the well again!  She tells me she doesn't want to
go to court for it (read: she can't afford a lawyer), but wants me to fork
over more support AND pick up the medical insurance for my daughter.

Well, guess what?  I'm going to do it!!  Yup, I'm willing to pay more in
support and pick up the medical insurance.  Oh god, that means I'm going
to have to look at staying in DMP2!  Anyhow, the reason I'm willing to do
this is because I'm going to tell her nothing comes for free.

In effect, if she wants more, she's going to have to allow joint custody.
In order to medically treat my daughter, I have to have legal right to her.
I not only want joint custody, but I am determined to put some structure
around the visitation.

You just wouldn't believe the horror stories around visitation with this
person... even after six years, games are still played.  Ah well!

So.... after all this rambling, what am I asking??

First, do you know of a good lawyer who practices in both CT and MA??  I'd
like to get recommendations before contacting the MA bar association for a
referral.

Secondly, what do you think of my "plan"?  Am I way off base??  What are
the reasonable chances?  I have been an exemplary ncp for over six years.
This is backed up by canceled checks that are written every other weekend.
Also, I travel 76 miles one way to pick up my daughter now.  I used to
travel 112 miles one way (NH to CT).  My daughter and  I have a wonderful
relationship (how many little ladies do you know that will talk to their
dad about their period??)

Anyhow, although I still dream about my daughter coming to live with me
full time, I am realistic enough to realize that she won't.  You see, she
just can't hurt her mother now.  I know, I know, it doesn't have to be that
way... try telling an eleven year old!  Right now, she can deal with 
maintaining the status quo, and is afraid to confront her mother or to make
a choice between the two.  I'm not going to push her on it until I think
she's ready, if ever.

Again, thanks for any input.


Gene

PS - Sheesh!  Ya let these "read-only" types loose and they ramble on and on!!
					8*)

    
    Gene,
    
    	Tough situation...  I'd be positively lost if I didn't have my
    girls with me.  Guess I may be in the wrong notes file.
    
    	Anyway, I'm a firm believer in scheduled visitation.  Another story
    for another time.  
    
    	Good luck, go for what you want!
    
    
    jean