Conference quark::mennotes-v1

    That was nice.

    I've always felt that my name was a close tie to my father. Even
    more so because we have exactly the same name (first, middle and last).
    I've always felt that what I do reflects on him and what he does on
    me. Even though we are very different people in many ways our name
    ties us together. I don't think everyone understands it. I'm sure
    my wife doesn't.

    I don't think that women in general feel as close a tie to names as
    most men do. That is changing as more and more women keep their
    names when they marry. Though I think that women do that most often
    as a sign of independence (from their husband) than as a closer tie
    with their parents. Many women are still willing and happy to turn
    in their old last name. Most men I know have trouble even conceiving
    of changing their last names.

    When it came time to name my son we gave him my name (He is Alfred
    III). To my wife he is named after me. To me he's named after my
    father. I hope he feels the same responsibility to the name and
    the all the people it labels as I do.

    			Alfred C. Thompson, II

    I feel *very* close to my name.  There's probably a 75% chance I'll
    keep it when I get married.  I feel almost as close to my middle
    name - as it proclaims my Scottish heritage.  
    
    My father was an only child, and I have no brothers.  I am 100%
    sure my sister will change her name when she gets married.  I intend
    to try to pass "Bobbitt" and/or "Munro" on as middle names
    to my own children, or maybe I can suggest them for my neices/nephews
    (when I have them).
    
    There are "Bobbitt" family reunions every year, with delicate tracings
    of all branches of the family - someday I'll have to get to one
    of these.  I am honored to bear the name.

    -Jody
    
	p.s.  No offense taken at all at the male emphasis.  Throughout
    history men have upheld their family names, fought for their family's
    honor, and been brought home on the shield bearing their family's
    crest.  Also, throughout history, women have almost always changed
    their names when they were married, effectively being received into
    the man's family as part of his "estate", thus relieving them of
    much of their connection to their family.  Also, historically,
    daughters spent little time with their fathers, and thus may have
    felt little connection.  Hopefully this is changing, and we will
    all feel strong familial bonds to our close relatives.
    

    Alfred,
    
    Actually I am very proud of being both a Power (my dad's name)
    and and Isherwood (my mom's). Had I been younger I might well
    of kept one of them as my last name. 
    
    it may not be male/female in this generation anyway, as much
    as those who are interested in their family history or not.
    
    Bonnie

    
    Names are a funny object. 
    They carry different weights. 
    They mean different things to differing people. 
    They are assigned! 
    They bring different images with them.  
    They link the past, and add a hook to the future.
    They are what we become or become different because.
    They associate sex with gender.
    They conflict with each other!
    
    John Parent
    	( NO I'm not the father of the toilet over there &>).)
    

        

    re:4
    John, I think that little poem is a discription of adjective type
    name calling is (i.e. bitch, chauvinist etc).
    
     The base note has to do with proper noun assciation.
     (i.e. Smith, Jones, etc.).
    
    Jim Richard
    

    
    re:.5
    
    May be. I offer it simply to think upon.  For myself it has different
    weight and meaning.
    
    John

    re:0
    
    I carry my dads first name, and last ofcourse.  (However, I'm not
    a junior, our middle names are different...)  
    
    But, all the while growing up, I thought it a curse to have the same
    name as my dad....  It made for some confusing, irrating situations....
    2 people bearing the same first/last name.  
    
    Those who've lived thru it understand, those who haven't certainly can... 
    
    So, when my son was born, I swore not to make the same 'mistake'
    my mother and dad had made...
    
    
    But now, looking back, as this note caused me to do, I don't feel the same
    way. it's different now...
    
    My dad is still with us.  He's the greatest.  At 32 years old, he's
    still one of the most important influences in the way I live my life
    
    Ya know, I can't even think about losing him, he means so much to us
    (my family) but I know it's inevitable.  
    
    To carry his name on through my life, I now feel, is an honor. 
    
    If I knew nine years ago, what I know now, I would have had a different
    opinion when my son Shawn was born.

    

    Thanks for this note.  It reminded me to call someone who is very
    important to me..  Call, just to say "Hi"

    As I went through this note, several images went through my mind
    of the relationships of the noters to their parents and the
    relationship of my parents with myself.
    
    A word for the fortunate folks whose folks are still alive. Let
    them know you love them. You can't do it when their dead, no matter
    how much you wish you could. They may have pissed you off royal
    at times, they may have irritated you beyond belief, but they also
    devoted their life and love to raise you the best they knew how,
    however well they may or may not have done.
    
    My father died in 1982. Before then I often thought of the way I
    felt about him, but seldom told him. I was going to wait until the
    time was "right". Well, I waited too long. His heart attack got
    in the way of my plans. I learned alot about procrastination in
    this episode... also about letting your feeling be known.
    
    If you feel it, let them know. You never know if tomorrow will be
    too late.......
    
    
    Robert.