Conference quark::mennotes-v1

    What's the big deal?  For some people it is a "big deal" and it never
    ceases to amaze me.  From *my* perception when the first digit of your
    age is a '2' people still consider you a ... well ... kid.  When the
    first digit of your age is a '3' then you may marginally be considered
    as an adult and it's not until the first digit of your age is a '4'
    that people will accept you (at face value) as an adult.

    Hey, enjoy it ... it's better than the ... alternative.

    Bubba

    Even better than how other people's estimation of you increases, how
    about your own estimation of yourself?  I was never unhappy with who I
    was at any given time, but I'm sure I'm more confident, in control,
    generally at ease, etc at 44 than I was at 24. And I still feel like
    I'm 24! That's win-win.
    
    Kit

    But the passage is like no other. You can now start to figure out how
    many years of work are left. 25 years.........:-) Goes by like a flash
    of light. You start thinking of retirement, start counting all them
    gray etc. :) And worst of all, if you are starting to date agian, like
    self, you realize how old you really are when you want that woman/man
    half your age, but realize that there are worlds of differences in
    converstation and you feel soooo old that you start counting their ages
    and figure out that your going to meet mom and dad and they might be
    your age!!! Gee, sounds not like a win-win. Other horras are middle age
    spread, if it has not hit you in the waist yet. As the Queen of Hearts
    said to Alice, "you got to run twice as fast to stay in place....."

    "...the passage is like no other..."
    
    Perhaps, but, I've known people who have "on turning 30" birthday
    parties - they think that they are "over the hill" at 30 !!!
    
    Bubba

    Yes, but!!!! They are having a party. How many of them get one on or
    after 40 that want to admit to it? :) Me?? I want to be remembered as
    the Jack Bennie type. For ever 38! Or was that 39???? :)

   > Yes, but!!!! They are having a party. How many of them get one on or
   > after 40 that want to admit to it? :) Me?? I want to be remembered as
    
    Well, my wife gave me a memorable 40th birthday party -- a surprise
    party so unexpected that I was quite disoriented on re-entering my
    house after a false errand, to see a wonderful gathering of friends
    from many of my past lives.
    
    Kit

    Kit,
    
    	Wait a couple of years! And you to will say, "Oh! Why I didn't
    think I was this old!" As you gaze upon a cake of candles more than the
    40 count!:)

look, when you get old, you can get away with saying what you MEAN without
offending anyone...they just say, "oh, you know how they get at that age"...
I'm looking forward to getting a motorized wheelchair and a long cane so I
can poke people and whack their fannies to get them out of my way...and I'll
say anything I want to and embarass the young folks.  I'm looking forward to
be a great curmudgeon.

I figured out a long time ago, that either you get older or you die.  Of the
choices available, aging isn't unattractive.

    What's the big deal about 40?
    
    Mid life transition is.  Read Seasons of a Man's LIfe  by Levinson for
    more insight. A real eye opener this book is.
    
    Paul

    I used to think that 30 was when you became an adult. Now, at 38, I
    think maybe it happens at 40. But that doesn't seem like enough time
    to make it. :-)
    
    I did figure out that middle aged is how old your parents are. Old is
    20-30 years older then that. So you can't ever get there.
    
    		Alfred

RE:            <<< Note 643.10 by CVG::THOMPSON "Radical Centralist" >>>

   > I used to think that 30 was when you became an adult. Now, at 38, I
   > think maybe it happens at 40. But that doesn't seem like enough time
   > to make it. :-)
    
    

     Doesn't happen at 40 or so far hasn't happened at 41 either :^)





   Jim

    Alfred,
    
    I've got news for you, you don't become an adult at 40 either ;-)
    
    Actually it is having kids that makes you and adult... they think
    you are so you become one. ;-) x 100
    
    Bonnie

Nonsense, Bonnie.

Kids make little difference.

At 43 I'm still wondering what I'll do when I grow up.

With any kinda luck, my oldest will finish her Senior year at Lehigh next year
and make up her mind before I make up mine.

-Jack

    Funny reading some of this stuff... because I too, don't feel like an
    adult, and I'll turn 36 next month!  I still wonder what I want to do
    in life!  I do tend to worry about the future... jobs... retirement...
    how I'm gonna make it.
    
    "Life is what happens, while making other plans."  -  John Lennon
    

    -Jack
    
    In your case, I don't think you'll *ever* grow up! ;-)
    
    Bonnie

	The Big Deal ??  Well, I guess it all depends on
	where you are in life.

	When I hit 40, I loved it. My son was 20, and we've
	been able to enjoy a fantastic mother/son friendship.
	He got married at 22 and now at 47 I have two 
	grandchildren ( 3 1/2 & 2 1/2) that I'm young enough
	to play with and enjoy their growing up. My grand-
	daughter calls me her *bestest friend*.....!

	As for the aging........well each and every line
	has been earned...and paid for in full with either
	tears or laughter.  

	I've always lived by the words *go forward with 
	eagerness and live each day to the fullest*


	kits

    I was told that it is time now to hibernate since sex drive is phasing
    out, where women raise their in the higher peak. I don't know if I'm
    looking forward to it. I'm 37.
    
    D-
    

    re: -1
    
    nahhhh..... yer sex drive isn't "phasing out"...  it' just that when
    you get past 40/50ish you finally got it figured out and you don't need
    all that practice!
    
    
    tony  ;^)

    Whether we admit it or not, 40 is definitely a "Big Deal"!
    
    I turned 40 this past August 5th. Last year my wife turned 40 and I
    gave her the surprise party, "Over the Hill" decorations, video taped
    the party...the whole bit. 
    
    As my "time" approached I decided that I would prefer to do something
    different that would be special to me. Yes. Over the weekend prior to
    my birthday we had the family celebration, gifts, cake, etc. But a few
    months before I planned a get together with two of my best friends,
    who also turned 40 this year, back in my hometown where they still
    reside. We planned an entire weekend--golf, boating, barbecue lunch,
    italian dinner, general wa-hooing and closing down one of our old
    watering holes which was still around after 20 years!
    
    The best part of that weekend was reminiscing and REFLECTION. I agree
    with all that is said about turning 40. Yes, it is mid-life...that is
    if you are lucky enough to live to be 80! Yes, it is that time to see
    where you have been, where you are and where you're going. Yes, it is
    that time to realize who you are, what do you want to be when you grow
    up and start capturing all those dreams, not just chase them, anymore!
    As one reply stated...go for the gusto...get all you can out of every
    day. For 40 years we have been trying to get up on the surf board and
    now it is time to start riding the wave, because before we know it our
    wave is going to come into shore once and for all.
    
    Personnally, I feel I've reminisced and reflected (and loved every
    minute of it) until I am blue in the face. I am facing all those 40th
    questions and can feel myself just about standing on the surf board,
    ready to peak on my wave very soon. I say it is NOW or NEVER!
    
    Reflect....Peak.....Enjoy!!!
    
    MK
    

    With some of these replies, it's as though "Adult" is a bad word.
     I don't see why "Adult" has to mean that you now have life figured
    and that now you know what you want to do for the rest of your life.
     By the way, "mid-life" crisis as it pertains to "40" is bull. 
    For some this "crisis" happens during their 20's or even 50's or
    perhaps many times inbetween.  Adult implies that a person has become
    responsible for their life and its direction.
    
    I guess, it's at 40 when we become reflective on our past and foreseeing
    to our future; perhaps with either regret or anticipation.  By this
    time, 40, we've spent our youth and the rest of our lives is really
    on a budget.

I stopped worrying about individual birthday numbers when I turned 21.
40 will be just another number to me.  I always look forward, not back.
I wouldn't want to be 21 again.

			Steve

    Although, I do look forward to more interesting experiences and
    seeing my children become adults, I must admit that given the
    chance-I'd love to be 21 on and off again.
    
    21 is fun.  I love the adventurous mind of a young person, the lack
    of fear, the excuses and the first times.  I don't miss the lack
    of confidence though!!   And truthfully, I'm really not looking
    forward to finding the pefect hair color to cover-up my gray hairs
    sure to come.   I don't know, I'm curious too though as to how me
    and my mate will act toward each other and whether or not we'll
    read the paper together and if we'll get "high" together still.
     I hope we'll be comfortable!!  You know, it's kind of embarrassing
    to see "older" people in real young "teeny bobber" clothes.  It
    seems some are O.K. but not all.  I think, sometimes it shows just
    how comfortable one is with his/her progessing years.
    
    I guess, relaxation is the key. Enjoy the ride while it lasts. 
    But you pick the car.

    
    Well...can't say I'm lookin forward to 40 in 14 months.
    But then, I didn't handle 30 that well either.
    Seems like each of these milestones highlites our mortality a bit
    more than the last.
    
    Of course, if I do get to 40 with most of what's left of my hair,
    I won't complain too much. And the way my life goes, I imagine
    I'll still be getting pimples.
    
    But, as was said, it sure as hell beats the alternative.
    
    							Hank
    
    ps. now if only I could get carded buying booze, that'd make my day.
    :-)

    Getting carded! Wow! I can't remember when that happened!:) Geeee! I
    could do my Christepher Loid here. Aaaaaaaaaaahhhh...........
    Wow?... Last thing I remember was that Sha-Naah-Naaah was on stage. Is it
    still 1969?......                                       

    As I turned 30, I was desperately 22, hitting the clubs three nights a
    week, dating a 19-year-old, living in a student slum. Now I'm 371 days
    from 40, and I'm running thirty miles a week, shedding weight, thinking
    about getting a "foil job" of highlights to cover my gray, and living
    in a student slum (only now we own the three-decker). I guess one big
    difference is that I really DO acknowledge that I'm not the same as the
    kids on campus anymore, and that I'd generally not enjoy knowing them
    (except for MIT engineers -- them folk fascinate me).
    
    My marriage isn't doing particularly well, and it may be the case that
    my 40th birthday present to myself will be singlehood. That's scary.

    
    if you are planning on being single and attracting wymmin,
    by all means get the hair taken care of. 
    
    

 .27 is a sad note...

    RAH
    
    It depends on the sort of wymmin he wants to attract.
    
    BJ

    Thanks, BJ.  
    					- Cueball

    Hey, Vick,
    
    Women that only are interested in the 'pretty ones' loose out a lot.
    
    
    Bonnie

    RE: .17
    
    Sex is like any other physical activity, use or lose it. It has nothing
    to do with your age.
    
    I am better now than I was at 18.
    
    I am 38 and getting better. Come on 40's, let's do IT to the max.
    
    
    
    Someone who enjoys getting older.....

>    if you are planning on being single and attracting wymmin,
>    by all means get the hair taken care of. 
    
    However if it's a woman you are after don't worry about the
    hair. You want a woman who can see beyond physical attributes
    if you plan to be with her for any length of time.
    
    		Alfred

    True Alfred ;-)

    
    re .28
    
    what's sad about apprehending reality?
    
    you obviously haven't overheard any female ridicule of baldness
    recently...
    

    I thought .27 was talking about Hoyt
    
    .26> getting a "foil job" of highlights to cover my gray,
    
    and that both notes were sad....  What's wrong with gray?!  There's a
    TV ad for a hair color "for men" (what, it only takes if there's a Y
    chromosome?) and I think the guy looks mousy AFTER the treatment.
    
    On baldness, the only configuration I find repellent is the 6-inch-
    side-hair-plastered-over-the-top coif.  The mind boggles (and the libido
    seizes up)!  What goes through their minds?!  Frankly thinning or
    sparse hair can be endearing to me, even, if it's cut to a fairly
    rational length (depends; 1/2" to as long as 3" or so).  The combing
    "ruse" reminds me of a chubby kitten thinking it's hiding behind a
    chair leg.  Gimme a break.
    
    And it does depend on the type of lady the gentleman is trying to attract.
    
    Leslie
    
    P.S. And what is a "foil job"?!  As in tin foil or Curses, Foiled
         Again?

    Just to continue the rathole, my uncle has about four strands of 
    hair combed from about an inch *below* and behind his left ear 
    across the top of his head. Trouble is it never stays there for 
    long and he has to keep draping it over the top again about every 
    5 minutes. He is very intellectual and tends to dress like fairly
    badly. He is obviously not stupid or, in any other respect, self-
    conscious.  He must also see himself in the mirror. I for one will
    never understand this type of behaviour.
    
    Does something happen to them when they lose their hair in the same
    way that Samson lost his strength, only they lose the ability to see
    what idiots they look and that they only accentuate their baldness.
    
    
    Jerome (who will go bald gracefully if/when the time comes!)

 Picking up where the network left me off...

 The sad part (to me) is that you even have to be concerned about it. The
sad part is that women place so much importance upon it. I often wonder
if people who are so superficial are actually getting what they pay for
out of life... It isn't a knock against you; it's a knock against the
situation.

    I always threatened my wife that I'd grow my moustache real long
    and comb it straight back over my bald head.  I don't have a moustache
    now.  :^)
    						- Vick

    Vick
    
    When I was teaching college there was almost always at least one
    young man who was in the early stages of male pattern baldness,
    and nervous/upset about it. When I explained how it was inherited
    and that it results from excess testosterone, I would wind up
    by telling the young man/men that they had 'more of what it takes'
    than the guys with hair. The little joke never failed to cheer them up!
    
    Years later, my daughter gave her father a coffee mug that read:
    
    "Baldmen don't waste their hormones growing hair"
    
    :-)
    
    Bonnie

I find this kind of amusing since, at the tender age of 35, my hair is 
starting to make that trek toward the back of my neck.  You wouldn't notice 
it if you hadn't known me for a few years.  The other day while I was 
shaving, my wife said (in a very concerned tone) "You know, your hair is 
starting to recede."  I was a little surprised that it concerned her so 
much.  She seemed relieved when I told her that if my hair went then I'd 
have one less thing to worry about in the morning.  

Ron

    
    
    
    As my VERY bald voice teacher used to say (rest his soul):
    
    	"They only put marble on the finest furniture."
    
    Greg, who can "do" his hair in about 20 seconds.
    
    

    I get totally frosted at barbers who say things like "Wow, I guess
    you'll never go bald" or "Your hair's thicker than a horse's tail"
    
    I suppose I might be short on hormones but I doubt it.
    
    ed

    I forgot the "best" part of 40 and beyond ....
    
    My secretary has always contended that as men get older they get better
    looking ... more mature ... more "character" if you will ... and that
    it is patently unfair to women because as women get older ... well,
    they just get older...
    
    Bubba

I find that the older I get, the more physically active I am.  I've always 
been very active, but as I near 40 (I'm 36 at the end of October) I find 
that I'm fitter and faster than ever before.  My wife, on the other hand, 
is becoming more and more sedentary and she's ahving the problems 
associated with it.  Her back is troubling her and so forth.  You can all 
guess the response I get to suggestions she exercise a little.  She even 
snarls at her doctor when he makes the same suggestion.  I feel bad for her 
because I'm getting better with age (at least that's the way I feel) while 
she's going in the other direction.  

Ron

    re--baldness
    
    I saw a t-shirt the other day that said,"
    
    <continue at your own peril>
    
    
    Last warning
    
    
    
    	"I'm not getting bald, I'm just getting more head!"
    
    8^)
    fred();