Conference quark::mennotes-v1

    Pride is often a useful thing for me. A while ago I stopped drinking,
    for example, and a crucial assist came from my pride in being the kind
    of person who keeps promises. Pride keeps me going, sometimes, like
    when I'm running faster or further than usual and I'd love to quit.
    
    I've been trapped by pride a few times. In a job, once, I took such
    pride in meeting impossible deadlines (and making whatever sacrifices
    were necessary to do so) that I trained my employers to exploit me. My
    present marriage probably has an element of this. When I left that job
    (and similar situations) I was _immediately_ relieved and gladdened and
    asked myself "Why didn't you quit sooner?!"

    Pride is a good cheap high (like most pretentious geeks, I have an
    absurd amount of it), but what does that have to do with who owns the
    car?  I guess if I needed the car every day and my mate was a
    dominator/rix who refused to make a spare set of keys and insisted that
    I beg for them ("Jump! Jump! A little higher!") each time, I might find
    it a trifle demeaning (and if I was the type to get involved with
    sadists I'd probably enjoy it), but otherwise who cares?
    
    One odd thing about pride is the seemingly universal need to puncture
    it when it gets too public. One good thing about (good) relationships
    is that they let you express it without reprisals (until the breakup,
    when you find out what they REALLY thought about that sonnet sequence).
    
    I used to have a swelled head, but now it's settled in my nose,
    Ray

>    I guess if I needed the car every day and my mate was a
>    dominator/rix who refused to make a spare set of keys and insisted that
>    I beg for them ("Jump! Jump! A little higher!") each time, I might find
>    it a trifle demeaning (and if I was the type to get involved with
>    sadists I'd probably enjoy it), but otherwise who cares?
    
oh my, what a picture this brings to mind!  I am sniggering uncontrollably
in my cubicle and the whole area is getting quiet .... they suspect I
have entirely too much fun at this job.

>    One odd thing about pride is the seemingly universal need to puncture
>    it when it gets too public. One good thing about (good) relationships
>    is that they let you express it without reprisals (until the breakup,
>    when you find out what they REALLY thought about that sonnet sequence).
    
we humans, if emotionally healthy, are a prideful, boastful lot....imagine
how boring the world would be without the great sagas and tales of power that
have been passed down from times so far back in the mist that the original
braggart is naught but dust.  I think the "pride" that gets us in trouble
is the self-protective false pride that hides our own low opinion of
ourselves.  True pride is confident and reasonably flexible...those folks
are comfortable with their own weaknesses and know their strengths.  

and they can laugh at themselves without fear of damage..

    	I don't think having access to possessions has anything to do with
    pride as much as I think it has to do with common sense. Any person who
    allows their mate to have total control of house, car, etc. will soon
    find that he/she won't have a mate. If material things are not owned or
    shared equally, then there is no trust.....no relationship.!
    
    	
    ken

>>>                <<< Note 649.4 by SALEM::KUPTON "Pasta Masta" >>>

good point.  Also, if either partner has been married before and there
are children, it is the height of folly for either partner to be the sole
possessor of any jointly owned/purchased property.  In the event of sudden
death, the surviving partner whose name does not appear on property may 
find him/herself stripped of property rightly his/hers.

    Similar to .1, I made a decision to stop smoking pot, and my
    pride in that decision has kept me straight for over ten years
    now. Ditto quitting cigarettes over 16 years ago. Now if
    only I could lay off the cheeseburgers ;-)

    I find .6 and .1 quite interesting.  I wonder if while you were
    active in those activites, (now abandoned) if it was also pride
    that let you continue in those activities then?  I think it's great
    when someone is proud of a decision they've made, it shows confidence.