Conference quark::mennotes-v1

    Women, do not do this to impress a man:
    
    I once had a woman break into my apartment and clean it spotless while
    I was out.  I figured it was my mom because only my mom would put all
    my books, albums, sheet music and software in alphabetic order.  It
    turned out to be a woman who lived around the corner from me.  I guess
    she thought I would like having a woman's touch around the place.
    
    She did it twice more, even after I asked her not to.  The last time
    she had to break a panel of glass to get into my place.  So I called
    the police.  Now, try telling telling a police officer that you want to
    issue a complaint because a neighbour is cleaning up your apartment. 
    
    I guess she was offended by my lack of gratitude.

    Re .1: Shades of "Play Misty For Me" - you're lucky she wasn't armed.
    Have you considered submitting that for a TV-movie-of-the-week? [Or
    just tell her you've moved to my address; my place could use a
    clean-up. I'll leave the door unlocked. ;-)]
    
    Since I quit riding my bike around in circles in front of the houses of
    guys I had crushes on (not recommended), I haven't had much in the way
    of "techniques" for meeting people (as demonstrated by the fact that
    I'm noting on a long holiday weekend!). The most successful ones have
    been: joining a dungeon ("Meet strange and unusual people, and kill
    them! And afterwards, go out for coffee!"), and simply asking the
    designated to-be-met person out for coffee directly. Not the stuff of
    which great drama is made, but - to the degree that anything can be
    said to have "worked" for me - that works...
    
    -b

    re:.1
    
    Kris, I read that note twice now, and keep coming to the same
    conclusion ... you should left her a spare key and $20.  ;')

	Don't they go to those health clubs dressed in $ 350
	worth of Spandex, perfect makeup, and ride those
	stationary bikes ?  You know, never breaking a sweat ?

	Steve H

	P.S.  With acknowledgement of, and a tip of the hat to
		the true marathon runners among us !

    Hey! If she showed up to my place wearing spandex to clean. I would
    certainly be most appreciative. Shee! Some guys have all the luck. Must
    be that third eye in the back of my head and that zucinni patch that
    grows in my cellar.:)

    re.4
    
    You say that like it's a bad thing ... ?

    If they don't sweat I don't trust 'em.

    DON'T ask a man to dance or offer to buy them a drink.....it
    scares the S**T out of them!
    
    

    re:.4
    
    Even better if they wear high heels on the LifeStep machine ... like
    Sheena Easton in the Holiday commercial ...

re .8, hey, I resemble that remark.  I'm currently living with my
sweetie, who got up her nerve and came over to ask me to dance in
Mountain Charlies (a Los Gatos bar) over three years ago.  Didn't
scare me...

DougO

    Also, I get equally nervous when a man asks me to dance, so it's not a
    gender thing.

    I think it is a gender thing as I get much more nervous when women ask
    me to dance.
    
    Lorna
    

    Hmm.  No one has ever asked me to dance.  Maybe it's a species thing.

    
    The things I usually do when I want to meet a guy are:
    
    1.  smile
    2.  introduce myself
    
    Does it really have to be more kitchy or complex than that?  Does there
    always have to be some kind of 'angle'?
    
    -Jody

    My daughter stayed outside the Four Seasons Hotel for 6 nights in a row
    to meet Bono.  When he walked by she said, "Bono, can i show you
    something?"  (She meant drawings & a painting she had done of him.) 
    Well, she got a bunch of autographs and pictures, and chatted with him
    for 5 mins. on 8 different occasions, and he did ask her name and shook
    hands with her, and said he liked her drawings.  She didn't get a date
    :-), but since he *is* married, as well as a famous rock star (U2), she
    was happy with the results and said she felt the 6 nights were worth
    it.
    
    Lorna
    

    I usually get told something like "I've heard so much about you." 
    (Much of the time this is followed by her quickly walking away to the
    other end of the room...)
    
    Coolest line received in the last few years:  "You have really evil
    hands."
    
    Dumbest line ever received:  "Are you a real blond?"
    
    Ray

    re .18, oh, my god!  I think I asked you if you were a real blonde at
    the Rusty Scupper once!  (or did I just think it?  anyway, it wasn't a
    line...I'm just nosey)
    
    Lorna
    

    No, you just thought it.  Besides, I'm sure you would've said it better
    than it was said before. Y'know, it's all in the presentation... (: >,)
    
>    line...I'm just nosey)
    
    Interesting you should bring that up.  A boy who wanted to meet me once
    asked if this was my real nose, but girls are much politer.
    
    Ray

    what......no best friend approach....you know where you make friends
    with his best friend(s) and you get them to tell him that you 'like'
    him. (same approach for a guy). This was a favorite one. Then if he
    didn't respond you weren't as 'hurt' as in  a direct approach. 
    Finding out where he hangs out.....park,bar,gym,etc. and managing to be
    there when he is.
    ....the 'don't I remember you from 'somewhere'. Old but nevertheless
    still effective.
    ..common interests....say you know he likes photography...suggest that
    you go out on a 'shoot' together. See it's not really a 'date' but it
    could develop into one.
    
    of course...the direct approach...you're very nice (...or
    whatever)..I'd like to get to know you better.
    
    notes on the windshield of his car.
    flowers...yes flowers sent to his house...even work(unsigned..a litle
    mystery here)
    tickets to a sporting event....provided he likes sports.
    tickets to a cultural event...    "      "  "    culture.
    
    
    

    
    is it true that wymmin insult and goad mejn they're interested in?
    
    just wondering.

    >is it true that wymmin insult and goad mejn they're interested in?
    >
    >just wondering.

    i dont know what goad mean, but i can say with full confidence that
    i have never been, i say never, been insulted by a woman before .

    so what you claim dont not seem to hold any water in it.

    /nasser


    

>    i dont know what goad mean, but i can say with full confidence that
>    i have never been, i say never, been insulted by a woman before .

 This begs the question of whether you recognize when women are insulting
you, given comments I've seen lobbed in your direction...

    re.22
    
    yeah, sometimes this actually is quite successful, cause they
    try proving you you're all wrong in your judgement, they start
    showing off how gorgeous they really are...
    but I'd only use this for under 20ies - although it might 
    work out for some sort of other guys too :-)
    
    well, my point is, if a woman insults you in a teasing way,
    rather provocative than offensive, you may take it she's
    interested in you...good luck anyway...:-)
    
    Martina.

      <<< Note 828.24 by WAHOO::LEVESQUE "This is just a passing phase" >>>

> This begs the question of whether you recognize when women are insulting
>you, given comments I've seen lobbed in your direction...

    hi,

     humm, this is interesting, i thought (::LEVESQUE) were a man ! , sorry !

    i dont remember you insulting me? did you really do that? although
    you user name seems familar, i forget, since many people scream at me 
    in different notes files (wrongly, i must add).

    but what i think i mean but my original statment, is being screamed at 
    by a woman in the real life, not in notes files, if you want to count 
    notes file in, i might have to modify my original statement a little to
    reflect this new findings.

    /nasser
     

    re .26, I thought Levesque was a man, too.  
    
    You are, aren't you, Mark?  :-)
    
    
    Nasser, he means the women from womannotes have insulted you in the
    file, and trust me, they have.
    
    Lorna
    
    
    

    >Nasser, he means the women from womannotes have insulted you in the
    >file, and trust me, they have.

    humm, do you really think so? i did suspect something like this was
    happening at one point too.

    i think some women in the wwn notes files are angry at men ,
    and i happened to step in wrong time un aware of the situation and
    opened my mouth and took the heat for it. 

    i think most of them however do seem nice, i learned more about
    my inner feelings and getting in touch with myself reading some
    of their notes too.

    /nasser

    For what it's worth, /nasser, any remark is an insult only if the
    person at whom it is directed is insulted by it.  If you have not
    *felt* insulted by some of the things Womannotes writers have said
    about you, then you haven't *been* insulted.  However, some of the
    remarks Lorna and Mark are referring to verge on slander.  But then
    you're not the only one who has been defamed, so I wouldn't take it
    personally if I were you.  :-)
    
    -dick

>    re .26, I thought Levesque was a man, too.  
>    You are, aren't you, Mark?  :-)

 Um, lemme check. Ah, well, it sure looks that way to me... :-)

    As a native New Yorker, I grew up with the ethos that if a person cares
    about you, they insult you,  and otherwise they ignore you.
    
    A creative insult was the highest form of compliment.
    
    Growing up, my brother and I would take turns "imitating" each other. 
    That meant we'd do comedic impressions of how each other talked,
    walked, and so on.  He was very effective in getting me to break down
    laughing and crying at the same time.  So why did I ask him to do it
    again?  Never mind the time I poured Coca Cola on his head.  GRRR - I
    never saw him so angry.  He had to take an extra bath - a terrible fate
    for a young boy.  We sure did love each other!  ;-)
    
    L

    So, basically, you're all telling me that half the wimmin in WN have
    the hots for me, because they insult me?
    
    Hmmm... I never looked at it that way before ...

    :-)
    
    No such luck, Mike.  Very few  =wn= participants are native New
    Yorkers.  I never could figure out how New England folks indicate
    attraction.  It seems to be a highly obscure, subtle code for which one
    needs "native" antennas.
    
    L

    
    they dip their left antennna slightly..

    re:.33
    
    Just as well, Lord knows I don't need the the constant telephone calls,
    the presents, the flowers, the cards, the fawning all over me...
    
    Sometimes they get too carried away, eh?

    Oh, Mike.  You do have such fantasies, don'cha?

    I can't help it if I'm irresistable.
    
    They all want to change me ... it's a challenge, ya know?

    re .33, i've run into a few non-natives who were able to figure it out. 
    :-)
    
    Lorna
    

>>>    I can't help it if I'm irresistable.
    
	True, in fact right now I have this irresistible urge to correct
	your spelling.

	Di

    See, you DO care.

>>    See, you DO care.

	Yes, of course.  Why else would I bother to point out this stray
	brush stroke on the otherwise perfect canvas of your existence?


	Di

    And you're obviously a woman of impeccable perception.

 And a helluva sense of humor. :-)

    
    >what d women do to meet men?
    
    
    I've always found that guys can't stand losing to a women, so if ya
    beat em, they'll follow you around till they can beat ya back!!
    
    Some things to beat em at that'll keep em coming back for more?
    Try ping pong (Steve!!!!) or racquetball. It's a guy thing. The male
    ego won't let em 'stay' beaten by a female type for too long!!!
    
    ;-)cat

> try a good beating.

<snicker>

    I guess this is the dumbest thing I ever did to get to meet a guy.  A
    long time ago (maybe about 13 yrs.) there was a guy, that I thought was
    extremely attractive, who worked in the facility where I worked.  At a
    Xmas party after work I noticed that he was sitting alone at a table
    not far from the one I was sitting at with a bunch of people.  I kept
    looking over at him, but he wouldn't look back!  Eventually, after
    having a few drinks (this was 13 yrs. ago before people were so
    enlightened as to the dangers of drunk driving, etc.), I went up to the
    bar to get another drink, and determined to get his attention, I
    pretended to fall on top of him on my way back to my table.  I quickly
    got up and excused myself, and he pleasantly told me that it was okay,
    no harm done, and promptly went back to staring into space.  So, after
    finishing that drink, I went back up the bar for another drink, and did
    the same thing all over again!  I pretended to trip and fell right on
    top of him, then jumped up and said, "Oh, my God, excuse me!  I can't
    believe I did that again!  I'm sorry!"  At this point, he looked at me
    with an amused expression and said, while pulling out a chair next to
    him, "Would you like to sit down?"  I replied in a very surprised
    manner, "Oh!  Okay!  Thanks." and sat down.  As to whether it "worked"
    or not, I guess it depends on what you mean by "worked."   
    
    When I think of that now, I can't believe I ever did such a thing!  (I
    also remember I threw up in the parking lot later that evening.)
    
    Lorna
    

    My 15 year old daughter routinely beats all the guys she knows at pool.
    Maybe thats why there are so many of them hanging around her.  ;^)
    
    					- Vick

    
    
    an aside... I play racquetball with a group from work. Occasionally my
    friend Eric's girlfriend Susan plays with us. Sometimes Susan and I
    play it alone, and after each whooping I would brag my tail off. Well
    one day she cleans my clock but good, and as if that was not bad
    enough, she didn't brag. Instead, she shook my hand and told me " I am
    sure your just having an off day, your much better that this".. OOHHH did
    I learn a lesson on humility that day. In fact, I can say that she
    taught me a lesson about good character..
    
    David 

re:      <<< Note 828.46 by DELNI::STHILAIRE "make it real one more time" >>>

>    As to whether it "worked"
>    or not, I guess it depends on what you mean by "worked."   
    
>    When I think of that now, I can't believe I ever did such a thing!  (I
>    also remember I threw up in the parking lot later that evening.)
    
Um, care to tip your hand? Does throwing up in the parking lot mean it
"worked" for you?  :-)  Loved your story.

When I was in college one of my favorite ways to meet co-eds was to take my
roommate to play ping-pong in the lobby of the girl's (women's?) dorms - it
often turned into a doubles game. I had a lot of fun, and didn't much care
who won.  

Darryl

    re:.46
    
    Just like at the Soapbox party in Jerry Beeler's condo.  ;')

    re .50, what happened there? !!!  
    
    (I know I didn't throw-up in the parking lot, that's for sure!)
    
    :-)
    
    Lorna
    

    Re: throwing up in the parking lot.
    
    I often have that affect on women who are completely sober!  :-)
    
    -- Mike

    re .52, I doubt that, Mike.  :-)
    
    Lorna
    

    Thanks, Lorna.  :-)

    re:.51
    
    You forgot??!  Thank goodness there's a video.  ;')

 She claims that isn't something she did, but rather it's something that
happened to her. :-)

    I usually find buying the guy loads of drinks and then jumping on him
    usually works.
    
    It's crude and simple I know. But it works :-)

 Yeah, I bet WD is a real turnon... ;-)

    WD ? wossat?

 Whiskey D---

 It's a slang name for the condition describing the inability of a male to 
achieve a state of tumescence due to excessive indulgence in alcohol. :-)

    No one's EVER had that problem with me :-)

    Then you never bought him loads of drinks.
    Or maybe you quaffed just as big a load of drinks as you bought him and
    couldn't tell the difference?
    Now _that_ sounds like a mutually beneficial relationship.
    

>    No one's EVER had that problem with me :-)

 Much as you'd like to think that pure desire could overcome WD, the truth
is that once it has struck nothing's doing for a long time. Ask my buddy Pete,
whose nickname was WD after a woman tried _everything_ to assist him with this
problem on one particular night, to no avail. ;-)

> Much as you'd like to think that pure desire could overcome WD, the truth
>is that once it has struck nothing's doing for a long time. Ask my buddy Pete,
>whose nickname was WD after a woman tried _everything_ to assist him with this
>problem on one particular night, to no avail. ;-)


	But how do we ask him ?

    re:.57
    
    Damn, I gotta meet you!

    I saw her first!

 Yeah, but who sawed her first?

    RE. 57  ....."buy the guy loads of drinks and then jump on him".
    
    I can just hear the screams of outrage from the women if a MAN ever
    said this in notes.... something like: "...."I buy the woman loads of
    drinks and then jump on her'.
    
    Brother, unless that was a joke, I can't believe you dared say that.
    
    Jeff

    re .68, Although as I reflect back on my younger days, it occurs to me
    that that *is* what a lot of guys do to meet women!  When I was young I
    had a lot of guys buy me loads of drinks and then jump on me.
    
    Lorna
    

    re .57
    
    I'm reminded of a slightly off-beat comedy series that was on the BBC
    recently called 'A word in your era'.  In one show Casonova cheerfully
    explained that "I make love to women first, and then I get to know
    them.  It's a hell of an ice-breaker."

    re: Lorna
    
    Interesting choice of note #.

    Really class act

    re .72, but, Mike, I didn't *choose* it.  It just happened!
    
    Lorna