| T.R | Title | User | Personal
Name | Date | Lines |
|---|
| 298.1 | Could easily be shyness | ANT::BUSHEE | Living on Blues Power | Fri Oct 28 1988 12:53 | 23 |
|
Could be she wanted to talk, but is a very shy person. For
myself, I can talk for hours over the phone. Now, take that
same person I just talked to on the phone and let me meet
them and almost without a doubt I'll freeze up and be unable
to talk anything over yes and no. I can't figure it out, all
I know is that I can't think of a single thing to say. Sometimes
I can get over it after an hour or so, other times i've had
to meet the person several times before I can. I've had way
too many blind dates that ended much the same. A few have
called me back to blast me and ask why if I was having such
a terrible time didn't I say so. A few have after hearing why
taken the chance to meet again. Those that did have made
comments about the way I was percieved the first time as
to the way they saw the real me after I get past my shyness.
Give her the benifit of the doubt, instead of reaching maybe
a false assumption why not call her. You can ask her if you
might have done something to make her feel uncomfortable.
What have you got to loose? Nothing, but you might gain a
good friend that once you get to know will enjoy her company.
G_B
|
| 298.3 | | BOSHOG::STRIFE | but for.....i wouldn't be me. | Fri Oct 28 1988 21:50 | 16 |
| My first thought was also that SHE was shy - the phon is great
buffer. If so, the angrier you got, the more difficult it may
hav been for her to open up. Not that I think you were rude
or yelled at her but I'm sure she could feel the tension.
On the other hand, he may have decided that she didn't want to be
THERE and was unable or unwilling to make the best of the situation.
My take is that a lot of people go into blind dates with expectations
that "this is going to be THE ONE" instead of just figuring that
"this might be a nice person who's company I might enjoy and maybe
something will come of it in the future". When the expectations
are purely to meet mr/ms right then people don't seem to be
willing/able to just enjoy the 'date'. Too bad, they lose. I've
made some good friends on blind dates that didn't turn out to be
romances.
Polly
|
| 298.4 | Point blank question | HOTJOB::GROUNDS | CAUTION: Yuppies in road | Fri Oct 28 1988 22:16 | 1 |
| I would have just asked her why she was so quiet.
|
| 298.5 | Confucius say... | QUARK::LIONEL | Ad Astra | Sat Oct 29 1988 00:31 | 6 |
| Re: .4
Never ask a question unless you're sure you want to hear the
answer...
Steve
|
| 298.6 | | CSC32::WOLBACH | | Sat Oct 29 1988 03:49 | 11 |
|
And the adendum:
Never lay in bed at night asking yourself questions for which
you have no answer.
Deb
|
| 298.7 | | RANCHO::HOLT | Corrupt Xref line!!! | Sat Oct 29 1988 17:28 | 4 |
|
At least she didn't snicker at you when you met...
Ever have that happen? Really builds up the ego...
|
| 298.8 | | PHAROS::WILSON | Walking around in squares... | Mon Oct 31 1988 10:55 | 23 |
| RE: .3
I didn't get angry until I got in my car. During our 45 minute or
so encounter, I carried the conversational ball, you see. And pretended
that there was no tension.
If she felt any tension, it was a tension created by her inability
to make the best of the situation.
By the way, about 20 minutes into our meeting, I mentioned that
she seemed a bit shy, but there's no reason to be because it's only
a first meeting. "It's no big deal." And no, I didn't go into the
meeting with any expectations.
I think she needs to sharpen her social skills.
"Shyness is nice and shyness can stop you,
From doing all the things in life you want to."
-- Morrissey
|
| 298.9 | ask | CSC32::DELKER | | Mon Oct 31 1988 16:48 | 8 |
| re: .5
You may not *want* to hear the answer, but sometimes you
*should* anyway.
You don't know if you don't ask...
Paula
|
| 298.10 | A blind date is not worth fretting about! | CIMNET::LUISI | | Mon Oct 31 1988 17:13 | 18 |
|
Its just that. Everyone.... Everyone.... has expectations of some
sort or another. In this particular situation the author had an
expectation that his blind date would be something less than a quiet
mouse. He had 45 minutes of something over the phone that led him
to believe that this blind date was worth the risk.
For whatever the reason. It fell apart upon meeting. Whether she
was shy or not is irrelevent since something wasn't working and
it effected .0. I have had similar situations. Its just a matter
of deciding to continue the agony or not. It probably lasted 45
minutes only because .0 carryed on so long. Imagine if both of
them stared into thier drink. I sure would not have ordered another
round. It would have been sianara!
And there is nothing gained or lost. That's what its all about.
Bill
|
| 298.11 | whatsamatter, cat got your tongue? | COMET::BERRY | Howie Mandel in a previous life. | Tue Nov 01 1988 03:02 | 1 |
|
|
| 298.12 | where was she from??? | COMET::BERRY | Howie Mandel in a previous life. | Tue Nov 01 1988 03:04 | 7 |
|
Maybe her tongue didn't come through customs???
Dwight
|
| 298.13 | a mature women's opinion | IND::LIEBERMAN | NY Financial District | Fri Nov 04 1988 16:22 | 16 |
| Maybe the girl was shy.... that's her problem, or maybe she did not find
you to be quite up to her expectations, but she could have handled this
better.... or maybe she has emotional problems.... what kind?..
She may be the type of person who expects you to do the entertaining... for
you to burn all your energy keeping her amused and interested... or
the type of person who NEVER really wants to go beyond a surface type
relationship of talking about their job, and safe things, not issues,
that you may disagree with.
I say, don't waste your time, unless you really want to. people who expect
you to entertain them by keeping the conversation going, or keeping them
amused are people that have never learned to give even a small portion
of themselves, they burn your energy, and honestly try to make you feel
that you've done something wrong because they're having a lousy time.
Until they learn to seize the moment for what it's worth, (This comes
with maturity), they will lose out on the best part of life,
sharing thoughts with another human being.
|
| 298.14 | Watch out for the quiet ones! | AIMHI::TRAHAN | Another day in Paradise.... | Sat Nov 05 1988 12:52 | 16 |
|
This note hits home for me, so I'll share my experiences. The first
time I went on a blind date, I doubled with my best friend and her
boyfriend had brought along his best friend. We didn't speak hardly
the whole night!!! Our friends carried the entire conversation.
Thank god they were there, or it would have been a real sleeper.
We went out a few more times doubling and then this guy finally
got the nerve to ask me on a date. Just the two of us, so, to
make a long story short......this wonderful quiet man is now my
husband of 11 years. We may have started out slow, but you can't
shut either one of us up now!!
marcia
|