Conference rdvax::grateful

    Judy in Disguise.  Wretch.
    ;-
    tim
    

Aww, c'mon, "Judy in Disguise" is a great tune!  Check out the bass line in 
it.  Sound familiar?  Sounds kinda like... "Bertha" ? YUP!  I think it really
does!  About 2/3 of the bass line is very similar as the bass riff of Bertha.

Try it out and see.  You may have to turn the bass control up a leetle to get
it to have same (wonderful!) tonal balance as the Skull & Roses Bertha. 

Josh

thanks for posting the bad song survey Dave, that was hysterical!  I just
wish I had seen the column that started it cause I have a vote to make.
I'd pick "Run Johnny Run" hands down.....

what would the rest of you pick, so far we have a vote for
	When it's Time to Change	Brady Bunch
	Run Johnny Run			??

I happen to know for a fact that both Fog and Chris *like* the "weemawopa"
song!  :-)

Lisa

    re .-1
    
    It's "Run Joey Run."
    
    What about "A Horse With No Name," it's hard to top that one for inane
    lyrics.  By America, wasn't it?
    
    Jamie

    >>What about "A Horse With No Name," it's hard to top that one for
    >>inane lyrics.  By America, wasn't it?
    
    Yup, it was America. The best version was done by the duo in a Mel
    Gibson movie called "Air America":-).
    
    Speaking of dreck, anyone else humming "Billy Don't Be A Hero" today...

"Run Joey Run"  Hmmn, well considering I don't have this on vinyl, tape or
CD (and don't plan to in the future) I'll have to take your word on it.
Stupid flippin song!!!  So dumb she dies in the middle...

	"Daddy please don't, it wasn't his fault he means so much to me
	Daddy please don't, we're gonna get mar-ried" (cut to choir of
	heavenly angels)
	
	BLEH!

    
    
    >>>Speaking of dreck, anyone else humming "Billy Don't Be A Hero"
    today...
    
    
    Yeah. That's exactly the song I was thinking of when I read through that
    note.  How about "Dream Weaver" or "Afternoon Delight"? :^) 
    What a crazy bunch a tunes!
    
    								jeff

    hey I relate to Horse With No Name! It came out when i lived in the
    desert and was experiancing the Carlos Castenada/Don Jaun 
    type of exploration of said desert!
    
    rfb

    and I deffintiely relate to Afternoon Delight!!  %^)
    rfb

    more I would nominate ...
    
    It's My Party, and its follow up, Judy's Turn To Cry, both by Leslie
    Gore. I once saw her on TV talking about It's My Party, defending the
    lyrics by saying that the main character is "accepting that it's OK
    to be a b*tch".
    
    - Dave

Yeah I like "Horse with No Name" and lotsa other tunes from America, execpt 
"Muscrat Love" - that Drives me crazy!

How's about that 70's great "Undercover Angel" --- Yech!!


glenn

Dead Skunk in the Middle of the Road

    
    
    Anyone else remember "Convoy"....

    "Ev'rybody was KUNG FU FIGHTIN"!"

    
    
    What was that one that was basically an instrumental. Something like
    "Popcorn". At least that's what it sounded like, a bunch of popcorn
    popping. Pa-Pa Pop-Pa-Pa-Pa  Pa-Pa Pop-Pa-Pa-Pa... 
    
    								jeff 

    My vote is for "Oh Susanna" by the Singing Dogs. :-)

I think I know what you are talking about jeff.  wasn't it something like
tiny box dancer, or music box dancer, or tiny music box, or tiny popcorn,
or popcorn dancing to a music box or something like that? :-)  By the way,
thank you (NOT!) for reminding me of the song "Afternoon Delight" and causing
it to go through my head all day!!  ;^)

Hmmn, who thinks this needs a note of it's own.  I'll even move all these
replies if y'all want....

Lisa

    how bout the new alternative band Ween and "Push up da little Daiseys and
    watch 'em grow up"....my daughter has been drivin me crazy with this
    one!
    rfb

    Have you forgotten "Sugar, Sugar" by the Archies?
    I think it's tops on my list.
    
    A close second would have to be "The Ballad of the Green Berets" by the
    that one-hit wonder Sgt. Barry Sadler.
    
    Bud

    Please change my vote to "Day Job". :-)

    I really love "Horse with no name" .  I've always thought it
    was very poetic and mystical.  I guess you had to be there.
    
    My vote for worst song is "I got you babe" by Sonny and Cher
    The line " we haven't got a pot" ranks tops for bad lyrics in
    my book.
    
    Rose
    

Love will keep us together - by Captain and Tenielle (sp?)

  Man, that's bad!!!

Dave

p.s. I sincerely apologize to anyone who ends up singing "I Will!  I Will!
I Wiiiiiiillllll!" to themselves all night... :-)
  

Thanks Dave #^}  

Comin back atcha - 

from the movie Grease...

"Your the One That I Want"  Ooo ooo ooo, honey 

Over and over and over and... 

-- all I need, oh yes indeed!

Arrrrrgghhh!

Glenn

    I've got "you're the one that I want...ooo  ooo ooo, honey...."  going
    over and over in my head....Olivia shut up!!!  Anyway, I kinda liked
    that song when I was little and into Grease.  Last year my youngest
    sister bought the CD and played it repeatedly over and over....drove me
    crazy..."Stranded at the drive-in...Stranded a fool.  What will they
    say?  Monday at school...." 
    
    :), danielle

    re:  .22  Aren't the Captain and Tennile responsible for Muskrat Love? 
    Talk about insulting.....
    
    And about "Sugar, Sugar".... When that song was out I lived in the 
    mountains of Northern Calif....way northern....where we had one radio
    station.  They played two hours a day of country, two of classical,
    two of pop and two of rock.  For some reason SS fell into both their
    rock and pop categories so we got to hear it twice EVERY DAY.  I still
    feel a need to run for the Pepto when I hear it.
    
    
    -jer

    
        this one's been swimming 'round my head this morning, thought i'd
     do the favor of sharing it:
    
              you put the lime in the coconut 
              and drink it all up....
    
                                            ^dave
     

    Wow, that one is old. Intantly flash to the summer when I was 7.
    
    	Anyway one of my favorite songs to hate came out about 10 years
    later in the middle of the disco craze. A different summer camp, a
    different position in that camp and the constant ringing in the air of,
    (Do you remember this Burce H.?) "Ring my Bellllllll, ring my bell"
    
    lyricly intense
    Geoff

    
    
    How about the Village People .....  blech blech blech.....
    
    In the Navy.... you can sail the seven seas
    
    and
    
    It's fun to stay at the Y M C A...  (you must use your body to
    spell this out while singing....)
    
    

Worst song of all time...

Seasons In The Sun

>p.s. I sincerely apologize to anyone who ends up singing "I Will!  I Will!
>I Wiiiiiiillllll!" to themselves all night... :-)
 
	just don't let Dave Russo find out what bad song is stuck in your
	head or he'll harass you with a zillion mail messages full of lyrics
	and end it all by singing them to you over the phone like he did
	to me yesterday!!!  :-) 

>p.s. I sincerely apologize to anyone who ends up singing "I Will!  I Will!
>I Wiiiiiiillllll!" to themselves all night... :-)
 
Well, I should have kept my damn mouth shut!  I ended up screwing myself...
*I* ended up with that f!ckin' song in my head all night!  Was one of the first
things I thought of this morning, too...

Time to listen to a Ted Nugent disk to purge myself... :-)

Dave

    
      re: 27
         well geoff, if you want to sink so low as to stir up old disco
      songs, then how can we forget this one:
    
                      DISCO.....DISCO DUCK!!!!!
    
          arrrrrggghhhh!!!
                                                      ^dave
    

    
    Ted Nugent???  you mean like "cat scratch fever?"  that has to make
    this list somewhere...  blech...
    
    about captain and tenille...  yes, they made "muskrat love" a hit, but
    interestingly enough, they didn't write it...  yes folks, it was
    originally done by someone else, and these people felt it was good
    enough to *cover* it...  yeeeesshhhhhhh....  (anyone know the original
    artist?  someone like loggins and messina or america or someone like
    that...)
    
    and speaking of covers...  how about Bruce Stringbean's "cover me"...
    actually i can probably think of a few of his that i could live well
    without?  whose boss is he anyway?  certainly not mine...  
    
    					da ve

re       <<< Note 335.31 by DRINKS::WEISS "Beer -- It does a body good." >>>
                    -< Dave Russo...please don't read! :-) >-

>Time to listen to a Ted Nugent disk to purge myself... :-)


	... or listen to EC Was Here....

Ok, this one definitely tops them all:

Feelings.

Whoa-o-o Feelings.....

(Havin' My Baby comes in as a close second, though...)

Notice no smiley's...this sh!t just ain't funny...

tim

Just thought of another...

"You picked a fine time to leave me Lucille"

This has got to stop!!!!!! 

Dave :-)

Incidentally, I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm getting through
this particularly insidious note by keeping Garcia & Grisman, 2/3/91 plugged
into my head until all the bad vibes go away.

I'm just not sure what I'll do when I have to shower in the morning - keep
the headphone on, or risk taking them off and hearing refrains of "Folsom
Prison Blues" over and over and over again....

"I hear the train a-comin', it's rollin' round the bend..."

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


tim

    
    Could the moderators please change the title of this to the Cruel and
    Unusual Punishment topic? That seems more appropriate considering the
    lyrics being posted here:-)

    What gos on behin' closed doors !
    
    

	"I've got a brand new pair of roller skates
	 You've got a brand new key.
	 
	 Why don't we both just get together
	 And try the world to see..."

	

interesting .... :-) .... I have always had this theory that part of human
nature is to actually enjoy, and even look for, certain forms of torture.
Like the people who look for blood at car accidents, or rewind movies at
particularly gross scenes and watch them again, or like those of us who
continue to read this note and look for worser and worser songs to add to 
the list.  We say it is torture, but despite the pain of it all we come back
for more .. and I, at least, will admit to enjoying this note to some extent.

:-)

>         <<< Note 335.33 by ROULET::DWEST "if wishes were horses..." >>>
>                      -< so many dogs to choose from... >-
>
>    
>    about captain and tenille...  yes, they made "muskrat love" a hit, but
>    interestingly enough, they didn't write it...  yes folks, it was
>    originally done by someone else, and these people felt it was good
>    enough to *cover* it...  yeeeesshhhhhhh....  (anyone know the original
>    artist?  someone like loggins and messina or america or someone like
>    that...)
 
The group that wrote Muscrat Love was...


America

My Ding-a-ling.  Offensive, even for Chuck Berry...

Takin' Care of Business - Bachman Turner Overcoat (I actually saw them do
this tune in concert - if you could call it that - as an opening act for 
Focus, circa 1973...it took two days to recover)

Anything ever sung by 10cc...

The Hustle.

Stayin' Alive (Stayin' Alive, Stayin' Alive - catchy lyrics in falsetto)

Anything ever sung by Barry White.  Actually, anything ever moaned by Barry
White.

Iron Man - Black Sabbath - saw them do this too, 1970 opening act for
Mountain.

Eat it - Wierd Al Yankovich

tim

>interesting .... :-) .... I have always had this theory that part of human
>nature is to actually enjoy, and even look for, certain forms of torture.
>Like the people who look for blood at car accidents, or rewind movies at
>particularly gross scenes and watch them again, or like those of us who
>continue to read this note and look for worser and worser songs to add to 
>the list.  We say it is torture, but despite the pain of it all we come back
>for more .. and I, at least, will admit to enjoying this note to some extent.

Freud thought so too.  He called it Masochism.  We must have all been fed
from a bottle as babies...;-) ;-)

tim

Awwright!  You asked for it...and since this is GRATEFUL here it is:

Keith Godchaux's lyric in "let me sing your blues away" that goes like this:

		ROCK AND ROLL AND MY TURTLE DOVE

agga agaa pfft pfft!
:)
bobo

ps.  
I can't get past that line!  I dunno!  I can't take it! :) :) :)

    Do the Tighten Up - Archie Bell and the Drells

    "MamamamamamMY sherona" by I don't know who. :-)
    
    "Should I stay or should I go now" - clash :-/
    
    :-)
    Scott

    
    
    met her on a monday and my heart stood still
    da do ron ron ron da do ron ron
    somebody told me that her name was jill
    da do ron ron ron da do ron ron
    Ooooooo my heart stood still
    Ooooooo her name was jill
    AND when I walked her home
    da do ron ron ron da do ron ron

    I can't believe you just did that to me . . .
    

    ....the night Chicago died, na na na na na na, the night Chicago died..
    
    by ?

    "Like a Rhinestone Cowboy, gettin' cards and letters from people I
    don't even know . . .an' offers comin' over the phone . . ."
    

 I bet you think this song is about you, don't you?

    
    
    Sorry to have to do this but......
    
    Does anyone remember "Chuckie's In Love"?

Hey!  I gotta Stones bootleg with them doing Da-Do-Ron-Ron (circa 1964-ish).  
Its as goodly-bad as you'd expect, however the record more than redeems itself
by also having their epic song, "Stoned".  Who's lyrics go something like:

Stoned!		[long harmoninca jam by Jagger]
outta my mind!	[long harmoninca jam by Jagger]
where its at!   [long harmoninca jam by Jagger]

I also have a Dylan bootleg with HIM doing Da-Do-Ron-Ron (circa 1968 or 9, 
and allegedly with George Harrison), however, this record goes on to also have 
him nasally (how else!) whining his way through "Yesterday".

Josh

caught Fog with this one at lunch ... :-) .. this one's for you Mike...

	My name is Michael I got a nickel I got a nickel shiny and new
	I'm gonna buy me da da da candy that's what I'm gonna do.

>>              you put the lime in the coconut 
>>              and drink it all up....


My college frat used this one extensively during hell week....

Glenn

>   <<< Note 335.29 by SALES::GKELLER "yrs=4 Atax on wallet/attacks on 2nd" >>>
>                               -< we had joy... >-
>
>Worst song of all time...
>
>Seasons In The Sun
    
    AAAAARRRRRGGGGHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    
    I HATE IT!!!!!  GENUINE HATE!!!!!  
    
    I wish I tuned into this note earlier.  Gotta catch up!
    
    dave

>>    about captain and tenille...  yes, they made "muskrat love" a hit, but
>>    interestingly enough, they didn't write it...  yes folks, it was
>>    originally done by someone else, and these people felt it was good
>>    enough to *cover* it...  yeeeesshhhhhhh....  (anyone know the original
>>    artist?  someone like loggins and messina or america or someone like
>>    that...)

It's on America's Greatest Hits


Glenn

    
    
       speaking of covers, how's about Bob & Rob doin' Misty!! :^o
    
                                                       ^dave

    Hey!  What's wrong with Black Sabbath "Iron Man"??  I like Black
    Sabbath during the Ozzy daze.
    
    "...now the time is here,
    for Iron Man to spread fear.
    Vengeance from the grave,
    kill the people he once saved..."

    Hey, I also like Kiss and Nirvana!!  So eat my shorts!
    
    This is what I figure about rock:
    
    Rock grows stagnant and stale at times,
    like algae growing on a stagnant pond.
    A band like Nirvana comes along,
    stirring and mixing it's icy water into the pond,
    revitalizing it with freshness.
    
    dave

HEy Jamie, how about Niel young covering Greensleeves?

    I'm fortunately too young to remember most of those...
    
    ...but "Love Shack" drives me nuts!!!
                ^
                L____ also used for 'cultural enlightenment' by a fraternity
                      that I'll choose to keep nameless ;-)
    
    
    - jeff-who-fortunately-wasn't-seen-at-by-anyone-at-the-B-52's-concert-
      at-Bently-College-last-week...-...oops.  ;-)
      

Oh boy!  Lots'o'repsect in here....

Ronnie Spector, Archie Bell, Check Berry,  Cash The MAN in Black, 
James Brown (Popcorn) Loudon Wainwright 3rd, Nillson, Rickie Lee Jones.

So far I picked those names out of the real bad songs by the likes of
Terry Jack(s) (seasons in the...), Paper Lace (chicago died), Captain
and Tenile (muskrat love plus I WILL).

Some people got no respect!  Lump the greats (to mediums) in the with the 
one hit wonders :)

bob

    re .43
    
      Tim, you had it worng.  It's Bachman, Turner Overweight.
    
    also re .43
    
      I gutta protest.  10cc had one good song.  "Dreadlock Holiday"  At
    least is was okay.  Decent maybe?  Catchy?  :-)
    
    re. this note
      
      One of the worse songs ever had to be "Disco Inferno".  Then again,
    you could just include disco as a (w)hole.
    
      Lyrically, with all due respect for the dead, "Tons of Steel" is
    right up there.
    
    Marv

And while we're talking about lyrics:

Can't Touch Dis.  Dis.  Not "this".  Dis.  Duh.

MJ - if I don't get Da Do Ron Ron out of my head in the next hour, I'm
going to personally drive over to BXC with my walkman, strap it to yer head
and force you to listen to 1910 Fruitgum Company's "Yummy Yummy Yummy" until
you lose consciousness!  You didn't have to type the lyrics - that was
cruel.

Now back to my tape..."if my words did glow, with the gold of sunshine...."

Ahhhhh.

tim

    
    HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    
    :-)  :-)  :-)
    
    	

    
    I'll second "Misty" and add in Bob and Rob's "Artificial Flowers".
    Couldn't believe it when they played 'em.
    	
    	-mark

    Fish heads Fish heads !
    
    rolly polly fish heads !

	hummmm....hows about


	"Cheer up sleepy Jean
	 Ohhhhh what can it mean
	 to a daydream believah
	 and a home comin queen"

	Quite confidentially....I'd rather 
	have a bad trip at Foxboro stadium
	on a 100 degree day than deal with 
	a rendition of that!

    >Fish heads Fish heads !
    >
    >rolly polly fish heads !
    
    This song came to my head a few months ago, and NOBODY I 
    talked to remembered it.  All I can think of is the stupid video with 
    chopped off fish heads dancing around, and the words scrolling on the
    bottom of the screen...  :)
    
    Fish heads, Fish heads!
    
    Rolly polly fish heads!
    
    Fish heads, fish heads!
    
    Eat them up - Yum!
    
    8), danielle

    re: Rolly polly fish heads
    
    I thought that was from Star Trek. My least favorite episode, BTW.
    
    ger

    RE:  All kinds of random stuff
    
    And then there was:
         S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y  Night!
    
    And the Bay City Rollers were going to be the next Beatles?
    
    
    If I remember right, The Cap & Tennille's "Love will keep us together"
    was written by Neil Sedaka.  The even snuck in a "Sedaka is back"
    in all those da-da-da-da's at the end of the song.
    
    Now, will someone help me get "Vanna, give me a letter" (Cheech
    Marin's parody of "The Letter" by the Boxtops) out of my head?

ah 'Fish Heads' by Barnes and Barnes. 

how about the classic/relic "Having My Baby"?

others: You Light Up My Life
	Happy Birthday Sweet Sixteen
	Disco Duck
	Billy Don't Be a Hero (already mentioned I think)
	We Will Rock You/We Are the Champions - Queen
	Turn the Beat Around - Gloria Gaynor?
	The entire Saturday Night Fever soundtrack
	Rubber Band Man - The Spinners
	any of those Rocky themes
	Convoy (....we're a truckin' convoy, truckin' thru the nite...)

Hey Baby, they're playing our song
the one they used to play
when we used to get along

It's the one with the pretty melody
it's the one that made you fall in love with me

It made us feel so groovy
We fell in love, just like in the movies ...

    Gee, I don't see what's so bad about Fish Heads, or "Love Shack"!
    Dave Barry hit it on the head with Barry Manilow and "I write
    the Songs" though....  Not one of those that ran through my 
    head all the time, but it used to really piss me off when I 
    heard it!
    
    PeterT
    

    how 'bout any songs by the Virgin Fugs   %^)
    
    rfb

    Ya' know, I heard that Billy Mummy (Will Robinson of "Lost in Space"
    fame.  Ya' know, "Danger, Will Robinson, Danger, Danger Red Alert" ;-)
    was actually one of the people in Barnes and Barnes of "Fish Head"
    fame.
    
    PeterT
    

re: Love Shack

it gets my vote

/r

    Billy Mummy wrote songs for America, i always wondered which
    ones....%^)
    
    rfb

    ok for you country fans.
    
     Your the donut hole of my heart!!
    
    Refuses to sign his name!
    

    how bout "I've Flushed You From The Toilet of my Heart"
    
    same band that did the Ballad of Crazy Horse, which IS A good song,
    called blackfoot? i think??
    rfb

    
         just thought i'd add this one for good measure:
    
                   little willy willy won't
                   go home
                   but you can't push willy 'round
                   willy won't go
                   try tellin' everybody but
                   oh no
                   little willy willy won't
                   go home
    
         i think sweet are the culprits behind this one.....^dave

    I dunno, Neil Young singing Greensleeves just kind of sums up the
    downside of the 60's folk movement.  It could've been worse, though, he
    could've done "I Gave My Love a Cherry."  :^)  Bluto's reaction is the
    right response to that one . . .
    
    How 'bout: Please, Mister, please, don't play B-17, it was our song,
    la-da-da-da, but it's ooOOOoover."
    
    Jamie

    Any song they play on that radio in the laundramat in Northboro where
    no one can get to the controls to shut it off!!! WSSH I think is the
    radio station and they've made the speaker totaly unreachable. They
    probably had a problem with people tearing the connection out to shut
    it up. 
    
    	Remembering bad songs is one thing, having them forced in you ears
    is cruel and unusual punishment for having dirty clothes!
    
    Geoff 

how about the "Pinacolatta (sp?) Song"? 
another would be "Killing Me Softly"

something in a Donna Summer medley perhaps?

    How `bout "Karma Chameleon" and "I'll Tumble For You" 
    by Boy George?
    
    Karmakarmakarmakarma karma chameeeeleoooonnnnn . . . .

    There's only one thing worse than listening to these songs...
    
    
    ...it's listening to them in elevator muzak format. :-)
    
    ger

did anyone mention the tune that goes something like:

	Put the lime in the coconut
	And mix all up!

	"It's my party I can cry if I want to
			     cry if I want to"

	
	Then there's the banana splits theme song:

	"one banana two banana three banana four..."

	
	I can't get that one out of my head!

	/Ken
				

    I've always hated that obligatory wedding tune, "Celebrate Good Times"
    or is it just Celebration?  Went so far as to use tapes instead of 
    a band for our wedding (held in my folks back yard, rather than a 
    hall).  Unfortunately someone slipped in a Micheal Jackson tape and
    I had to go up and replace it with more 'bride and groom' sanctioned
    music ;-)
    
    PeterT
     

    well, now that someone has gone and mentioned country music, let's not
    forget the ever popular "drop kick me jesus through the goal posts of
    life"...  yes virginia, it's a real song...
    
    how could i have forgotten the wedding song from hell????  add to that
    the new wedding song from hell-the chicken dance!!! 
    
    did we mention Trini Lopez yet??? "we'll sing in the sunshine..."
    ol blue eyes???  "you'lll have the time, the time of your life...
    			i saw a man, he danced with his wife...
    				in chic-a-go, chic-a-go..."
    
    i mean, really...  it's *my* kind of town too, but puh-leeeez!
    
    				da ve 

And then there's the ever-popular, but frightfully obscure:

"She Was Pegged In The Head With A Lawn Dart"...

;-)

Real song.  Got it on tape somewheres....

tim

Not sure if mentioned already, but heard on the radio last night...

Centerfold, by J Geils...

"Does she walk, does she talk, does she come complete,
My sumthin sumthin angel in the pages in between...

Na Na nanana,  nanana, nanana"

glenn

    Hey, I *dig* "Centerfold" . . .

    Any other votes for the ever popular 1910 Fruitgum Company's ...
    
    Yummy Yummy Yummy (I've got love in my tummy) ????
    
    you just can't make this stuff up ...
    
    			John

	Someone mentioned bad wedding songs: there were two standards
	played at every wedding I attended in the 70's and 80's (and
	being a photographer doing candid weddings I went to a few ;-)
	
	Bad, Bad Leroy Brown (meanier than a junkyard dog) and
	Jerimiah was a Bullfrog
	
	both make me cringe :-\
	
	Jay

Yea, I already threatened MJ with "Yummy, yummy...", for
her rendition of "Da Do Ron Ron" (Reagan's theme song).

Speaking of Presidential theme songs, anyone catch the
clips of the Prez playing sax with Clarence Clemens last
night?  The news said he picked up the horn no less than
five times last night...at 11 parties, until 2:30am...

I like this guy more all the time...;-)

tim

    "Your mama don't dance and your daddy don't rock 'n' roll?"
    This is not one of the genre's high points.
    
    What about Johnny Cash's "Ring of Fire"?
    
    And I'm no prude, but I always thought "Big Ten Inch" was a poor excuse
    for making a recording.

    re -.1 Your mamma don't dance and your daddy don't rock and roll...
    
    Our new Prez did this tune at one of yesterdays parties :^)
    

    Well, a pretty sick song if you ask me:
    
    "Girlfriend in a Coma" by the Smiths
    
    dave

    
    
    Da Doo Doo Doo, De Daa Daa Daa
    That's all I've got to say to you.
    
            The Police

Centerfold ain't too bad nor is De do do do, De da da da....

    
    at... 
    the copa!
    copacabana!
    the hottest spot north of havana
    here at
    the copa!
    copacabaaaaaaaaaaaaana!
    
    
    

    
    
    music and fashion were always the passion
    at the coooooooooooooooooooooopa.... copabannnnnnnnnnna.....
    
    

I sang that in a Karaoke bar, once.  Once.

    re .106
    
     Say it ain't so.  No way, you're kidding, right.  Come on, you've
    gotta be kiddin me.   :-)
    
      You musta be very drunk! ;-)
    
    Marv
    

    re: Centerfold
    
    yeah, that's a right stupid one!
    
    re: DC doing Karaoke ... find a new name, dude!

    well if ya gonna do Croakiey then thats a fine number to sing....
    both should be outlawed anywho....

I think you deserve a lot of credit just for admitting that
you even set foot in a Karaoke bar.

As for me, I've never even been to Japan.

tim

I love Karaoke bars.  Most people who participate take it so seriously
... then my friend and I go up and do "Stand By Your Man" and watch
the effect.

We even have choreography ...

	"Stand (point at floor)
	 by Your (point at audience)
	 Man..." (hook thumbs back, point at self)
	
I guess I do take singing "A Hundred Pounds of Clay" pretty seriously,
though.

You know, I have an idea for a DEChead outing ... heh heh heh ...

- DC

yeah, maybe dc should call himself Walter.  :-)


seriously, I can imagine a Karawhatever bar being very entertaining.
I am afraid of them though, or more precisely I am afriad of Dave whenever
we are near one.  :-)


Lisa

what the title to the Sheena Easton tune that went ,"..my baby takes the 
morning train. he works from 9 to 5 and then...."

Pat Boone's cover of "Tootie Fruitie"

I'm willing to put up $1.00 for the "Get Up and Do It again DC" fan club!
Anyone else??

Maybe we can get him up _one_ more time!!!!


:-) :-)

I'll only do "A Hundred Pounds of Clay" solo.  "Stand by Your Man"
requires two or three people, and "Copacabana" requires five people
and three Scorpion bowls.

;^)

- DC

    what about "What's New Pussycat" by Tom Jones? My wife had the
    bad judgement to mention that song this morning and I can't
    stop it!!!

"You Light Up My Lice"....


tim

Anything by Abba ... shudder {{{{{}}}}

Sing a Song, and Gene were both written and performed by the same guy. 
 

Who was it?

These are both, truly truly bad songs.

	"and run 
	 if you will
	 to the top
	 of the hill"

    "Ben" by Michael Jackson.  A love song to a rat???
    
    "Timothy" by I don't know who.  Three guys starving in a lifeboat, two
    gang up on ol' Timothy and eat him.   Especially appropriate what with
    the movie "Alive" that just came out.
    
    re: .119.  "Gene", actually "Jean" was by Oliver from the hit smash
    movie "The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie".  Oliver also scored a big hit
    with a song from Hair - "Starshine"? or something like that.
    
    "Sing a Song" was by the Carpenters.  I think it was a muppet or Sesame
    Street song originally.  (Go ahead and laugh but I thought Karen Carpenter 
    had a really beautiful voice).
    
    Chuck
    

re           <<< Note 335.120 by GUIDUK::FLOOD "stronger than dirt" >>>
                             -< hey! this is fun! >-

>    Street song originally.  (Go ahead and laugh but I thought Karen Carpenter 
>    had a really beautiful voice).
    
I agree ....

- DC

    The following could be considered bad taste by some.  FF follows for
    those easily offended.
    
    
    
    Where would the music business be today if only Mama Cas had given a
    bit of her chicken sandwich to Karen Carpenter?
    
    
    

    "The Night The Lights Went Out In Georgia" by Vicky Lawrence.  Her
    brother's wife is a tramp, was messing around while he was out of
    town, he comes back, has a beer with his buddies at the tavern and
    gets the word, goes home to find his wife murdered, gets accused of it
    is hung while his sister the singer, who actually did it, doesn't say a
    thing to save him.
    
    "Angie Baby" by Helen Reddy.  A semi-retarded or at least autistic
    girl, about to get assaulted by a neighbor boy, sucks him into her
    magic radio and keeps him as her love slave.
    

    for what it's worth, here's the results of the 'official' survey ...
    
Article 166 of clari.feature.dave_barry:
From: clarinews@clarinet.com (Dave Barry)
Date: Sun, 24 Jan 93 2:28:20 EST
Subject: HERE ARE THE FINAL RESULTS OF THE BAD SONG SURVEY

DAVE BARRY
	
	I hope you haven't had anything to eat recently, because, as promised
last week, today I am presenting the winners of the Bad Song Survey.
	In analyzing these results, I had to make a few adjustments. For
example, the Bob Dylan song ``Lay Lady Lay'' would have easily won as
Worst Overall Song, with 17,006 votes, except that I had to disallow 17,
004 votes on the grounds that they were cast by my Research Department,
Judi Smith, who tabulated the votes, and who HATES ``Lay Lady Lay.''
	To win, a song had to be known well enough that a lot of people could
hate it. This is a shame in a way, because some obscure songs that
people voted for are wonderfully hideous. One reader sent a tape of a
song called ``Hooty Sapperticker'' by a group called ``Barbara and the
Boys.'' This could be the worst song I've ever heard. It consists almost
entirely of The Boys singing ``Hooty! Hooty! Hooty!'' and then Barbara
saying: ``Howdy Hooty Sapperticker!''
	Several readers sent in an amazing CD from Rhino Records called
``Golden Throats,'' which consists of popular actors attempting to sing
popular music, including William Shatner attempting ``Lucy In The Sky
With Diamonds,'' Leonard Nimoy attempting ``Proud Mary,'' Mae West
attempting ``Twist and Shout,'' Eddie Albert attempting ``Blowin' in the
Wind,'' and -- this is my favorite -- Jack `` Soul'' Webb attempting ``Try
a Little Tenderness.'' You need this CD.
	But now for our survey results. Without question, the voters' choice
for Worst Song -- in both the Worst Overall AND Worst Lyrics category --
is ... (drum roll ...)
	``MacArthur Park,'' as sung by Richard Harris, and later remade, for
no comprehensible reason, by Donna Summer.
	It's hard to argue with this selection. My 12-year-old son, Rob, was
going through a pile of ballots, and he asked me how ``MacArthur Park''
goes, so I sang it, giving it my best shot, and Rob laughed so hard that
when I got to the part about leaving the cake out in the rain, and it
took so long to bake it, and I'll never have that recipe again, Rob was
on the floor. He didn't BELIEVE those lyrics were real. He was SURE his
wacky old humor-columnist dad was making them up.
	The clear runner-up, again in both categories, is ``Yummy Yummy Yummy
(I Got Love In My Tummy),'' performed by Ohio Express. (A voter sent me
an even WORSE version of this, performed by actress Julie London, who at
one time -- and don't tell me this is mere coincidence -- was married to
Jack Webb.)
	Coming in a strong third is ``(You're) Having My Baby'' by Paul Anka.
This song is deeply hated. As one voter put it: ``It has no redeeming
value whatsoever -- except my friend Brian yelled out during the birth
scene in the sequel to `The Fly' in full song, `Having my maggot!'''
	Honorable mention goes to Bobby Goldsboro, who got many votes for
various songs, especially ``Honey.'' One voter wrote: ``Why does
everybody hate Bobby Goldsboro's `Honey'? I hate it too, but I want to
know WHY.''
	Why? Consider this verse: ``She wrecked the car and she was sad; And
so afraid that I'd be mad, but what the heck; Tho' I pretended hard to
be; Guess you could say she saw through me; And hugged my neck.''
	As one reader observed: ``Bobby never caught on that he could have
bored a hole in himself and let the sap out.''
	A recent song that has aroused great hostility is ``Achy Breaky
Heart,'' by Billy Ray Cyrus. According to voter Mark Freeman, the song
sounds like this: ``You can tell my lips, or you can tell my hips, that
you're going to dump me if you can; But don't tell my liver, it never
would forgive her, it might blow up and circumcize this man!''
	Many voters feel a special Lifetime Bad Achievement Award should go
to Mac Davis, who wrote ``In the Ghetto,'' ``Watching Scotty Grow,'' AND
``Baby Don't Get Hooked On Me,'' which contains one of the worst lines
in musical history: ``You're a hot-blooded woman-child; And it's warm
where you're touching me.'' That might be as bad as the part in
``Careless Whisper'' where George Michael sings: ``I'm never gonna dance
again; Guilty feet have got no rhythm.''
	Speaking of bad lyrics, many voters also cited Paul McCartney, who,
ever since his body was taken over by a pod person, has been writing
things like: ``Someone's knockin' at the door; Somebody's ringin' the
bell; (repeat); Do me a favor, open the door, and let him in.''
	There were strong votes for various tragedy songs, especially ``Teen
Angel'' (``I'll never kiss your lips again; They buried you today.'')
and ``Timothy,'' a song about -- really -- three trapped miners, two of
whom wind up EATING the third.
	Other tremendously unpopular songs, for their lyrics or overall
badness, are: ``Muskrat Love,'' ``Sugar Sugar,'' ``I'm Too Sexy,''
``Surfin' Bird,'' ``I've Never Been To Me,'' ``In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida,''
``Afternoon Delight,'' ``Feelings,'' ``You Light Up My Life'' and ``In
the Year 2525'' (VIOLENT hatred for this song).
	In closing, let me say that you voters have performed a
major public service, and that just because your song didn't make
the list, that doesn't mean it isn't awful (unless you were one of
the badly misguided people who voted for ``The Tupperware Song'').
Let me also say that I am very relieved to learn that there
are people besides me who hate ``Stairway to Heaven.''  Thank you.
	P.S. Also ``I Shot the Sheriff.''

		Copyright 1993 the Miami Herald

    Then there was "Apples, Peaches, Pumpkin Pie..." truly awful.
    
    Anything by the 1910 Fruitgum Company, The Royal Guardsmen, The
    Archies or Jackson Five.
    
    Re Muskrat Love, I have heard of a slightly reworked version that 
    went something like:
    
    Muskrat Sammy and Muskrat Sue
    Cooked up together in a Muskrat Stew
    It's so delicious, and so nutritious,
    
    You can slice, you can dice, and fillet them
    Cut off their heads and sautee them......
   
    (I don't remember the rest)
    
    I'm sure that Doctor Demento has several variants on this theme.

There was a little snippett on NPR this morning saying there will be a 
segment on Dave's survey sometime today on All Things Considered.

I haven't heard anything by Bonnie Tyler that I don't hate.  "Total Eclipse
of the Heart," "It's a Heartache."  Joined in the billy-goat-voice school of
singing by Stevie Nicks ....

    While we're in the genre of "anything done by...", let's not forget
    Michael Bolton.  Aside from the dubious distinction of being the latest
    white man to attempt anything and everything ever to come down the pike
    from Motown, I personally find his woeful, agonized moaning to be just
    slightly less irritating than fingernails on a blackboard.
    
    He's truly terrible.  White men ain't got soul.  Period.
    
    tim
    

    
    re: -.1
    
    unfortunately my mother doesn't agree with you, Tim.  :-(

    Well Tim lets not go to far here, now this is a bad song note not a bad
    PREFORMANCE of a song....the songs he has done might be great songs but
    the fact that he had the nerve to record them and have radio stations
    like KISS 108 play them every hour on the hour does not make the song
    bad .... huh ?
    
    Chris

    Well then, where does that put something like Tiny Tim's version of 
    "Tiptoe Through the Tulips"? I mean, the original must've been quite a
    toe-tapper in it's day, but the man butchered the cover version. There's 
    a fine line here between bad song and bad performance. :-)
    
    ger

	Re. a few back, 

	Van Morrison !!!

    Well, thanks!  Ever since this note came into being, that damn song
    "Seasons in the Sun" pops into  my head at unexpected intervals!!
    
    dave

And to hear all those songes you love to hate, listen to Barry (somebody 
please tell him they were lost for a reason) Scott's "Lost 45's"  Sunday 
night from 6-10 on WBOS

Geoff 

    
    my friend was recently listening to that "lost 45's" show and
    heard this little ditty....
    
    Gypsy's Tramps and Thieves - Cher
    
    Although it is no competition for Seasons in the Sun, its pretty
    bad.
    
                          

>    Gypsy's Tramps and Thieves - Cher
    
Cher has brought a lot of wonderful music into the world, hasn't she?

How about "Half-Breed?"

- DC

    re .-1
    
    thanks DC! Now I have "both sides were against me since the
    day I was boooooooooooooooooooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrn" running
    through my head over and over again. Grrr.

I aim to please, bro'.  ;^)

"Drums keep pounding rhythm to the brain ...."

- DC

    More Cher garbage: Bang Bang, my baby shot me down. Urrrggghhhhhk!
    
    Then there's "Horse with No Name" as sung in the movie "Air America"
    truly inspiring (to make one chunder).

    
    
    I didn't notice anyone saying they hated this particular tune:
    
    "I think I love you!!"  From the Partridge Family 
    
    ("I think I love you
     so what am I so afraid of?")
    
    Hurtin!!
    
    Oh, and any tune from Leif Garrett.  UGH!

    
    Speaking of "I think I love you!!"  From the Partridge Family,
    I had a friend put together a tape of Dead songs for my wedding
    reception for breaks for the band.  He stuck this song on the tape as 
    a joke.  You should have seen people's faces when I think I love
    started playing.  It was good for a laugh.
    
    Mark  

I love you 
You love me
We're a happy family
With a great big hug
And a kiss from me to you
Won't you say you love me too?

    
    Oh! So that was you in the purple dinosaur suit at Nassau! ;-)