Conference rdvax::grateful

Hey now Debess!

>I'm wondering if you think you are different on an everyday basis 
>because you are a deadhead?  (yeah, I stay up nights thinking up
>these questions!)...

    I think it has definitely had an effect on me for the positive.  The main
reason, I think, are the people that I have come in contact with as a result of
following the Dead.  There are almost a set of characteristics for a "model
Deadhead" - kindness, sincerity(sp?), concern for the environment, etc.  Being
exposed to so many people who think that way has rubbed off on me a bit.  
    For example, showing courtesy to others, like your fellow drivers on the
road.  Showing tolerance of other people's lifestyles.  Attempting to develop a
less agressive and more tranquil disposition.  I like to think I've developed
some of these characteristics since becomming a "Deadhead".  I might have on my
own anyway, but I think being around people like yourselves has been a good
influence on me and a sort of catalyst for change in my own life.
    Just one person's observations...

>------------------------------------------------------------------------------<
> Andy Gallo        | phone:(518) 452-7235 | (work) gallo@alosws.enet.dec.com  <
> DEC Sales Support |        dtn: 344-7235 | (school) gallo@cs.albany.edu      <
>------------------------------------------------------------------------------<

    can we call you Mellow Marv?
                                %^)
                                   rfb

      Before I went to my first show, I was sorta lost in life.  I was
    doing things because they were the accepted ,"normal" things to do.
    The Deadheads helped show me that it was alright to just be yourself 
    and you don't have to conform all the time.  The "scene" helped me 
    become a much more open, laid-back, and generally more happy person
    and I believe my life is better for it.  There is no place I look
    foward to going more than a set of shows...Club Dead, the antidote
    for civilization....
                            :-)  DaveB.

Dave B. writes:
>    The Deadheads helped show me that it was alright to just be yourself 
>    and you don't have to conform all the time.  The "scene" helped me 
                                    ^   ^   ^
                                    |___|___|
                                        |
                                   key words...

    In general, I think Deadheads are *very* conformist, its just that their
confirmity is not mainstream.  Look at the sea of tie-dyes at a show.  Long
hair.  Drug use.  Stickers on your cars.  Not all Deadheads wear or do these 
things, but I would go out on a limb and say "most" do.  
    How about the dancers in the halls?  Do people normally dance like that or 
do they only because they see other people doing it like that?
    In fact, the fact that Deadheads see themselves as non-conformist might be
conformity in itself.  I don't necessarily see this as a problem.  We know that
children "mirror" their parents as a form of learning.  Maybe "adults" do it
to.  In which case, wear your dye, fly your freak flag, and say "groovy" a lot
- its OK!  8-)


                        Peace, love, and air conditioners, 

                                    Andy

	Andy raises a very good point.  There is much conformity within the
Deadhead society.  Comparing the Deadhead society to mainstream America shows
many, many differences.  Maybe someday the Deadhead society will become 
mainsteam, but, I won't hold my breath.

	One thing that draws me to the scene is the display of freedoms not
accepted by people fitting [most] of our parent's mold: drug use, scantly
dressed people, people showing love publically, etc.  I find that these
freedoms are pretty basic (some of these are found in other countries) and
have to laugh/wonder why we, as Americans, are so damn uptight and worried.

	The music is the real drive.  I love the style the Grateful Dead
use.  It fits in with the scene, IMO.  Also, I really enjoy taking part in
and watching how the music changes people's excitement level.  The Boyz will be
singing along, then Jerry will start jamming.  And jamming.  As the jam
builds, you can see, hear (especially in NY), and feel the energy.  Then,
the jam/music calms down the crowd.  This is a very intense phenomenon,
I think.  I've never experienced it with any other band....

	Sometimes I wonder how I got here.  Sometimes I wonder if I'm in
a dream, wasting my time, or doing what I like...

	JC

I would call Deadheads "non-conformist" in the sense that they do not conform
to what is expected of them by American mainstream culture.  Long hair is not
popular amongst young men these days, nor is colorful clothing ....

- Dave

    Keep your head together.
    
    Understand who you are and where you are.
    
    Think Globally and act locally!!
    
    LOVE ONE ANOTHER!

    Yeah,  I think different things as a result of the myriad of
    experiences I've had at shows and while hanging out with people
    I never would have met otherwise.  Every day.   Obviously, its
    not something I think about in the sense of:  because I am 
    a deadhead, I will do this.   Its more like an attitude.
    
 	Some pretty, powerful images come to mind.  I like to think
    about the times I've stopped gyrating for a moment or two and
    had a look at what was going on around me.  I'm thinking about 
    what it is like to be boogiing at a show to the tune of 
    Scarlet Begonias and taking a moment to see if anyone else 
    is enjoying the show...
    
    ;^)
    
    Can you see thousands of faces, smiling faces... 
     ...apparently because the music sounds so sweet.  At times 
    like that, I think they think  (they, the people behind the
    smiling faces) -- and I suppose I think they think like this 
    because I think like this -- that we're into something good.  
    It's like winning when anyone else who cares to is winning 
    too.  I know you can win without needing someone else to lose --
    That concept can be carried into everyday life.
    
    So two things:
      
    	1.  I like the music, and I think differently 
   	    on an everyday basis, because I want to see 
            the Dead as often as I can.  
    
	2.  I No one knows what's going on, by definition.
    
     

    I think being a Deadhead has most certainly changed me.  I have become
    much more open-minded.  I always have been, but now it's with an
    understanding.  I've learned to appreciate life for what it is.  All
    it's ups and downs.  I take the mistakes I've made and instead of
    dwelling on them, I turn them into positive things. (forthe most part) 
    My mind has opened....to new things, new way of looking at things.  I
    see the beauty if everything before I see the bad.  I feel "at home"
    with Deadheads.  I can be MYSELF, to many "straight" people, I'm
    strrrrange....in my thinking and my beliefs.  I agree with the last
    reply, it's kind of more like an attitude.  Maybe like a diffiant (sp?)
    attitude, straight people wouldn't approve, but would someone like me
    approve? Probably.
    
    For me, it's also like a religion.  In a very spiritual sense.  When I
    see a show, the energy it creates engulfs me and cleanses me.  When it
    comes time to see a show, it's usually about the time I have a major
    conflict in my life.  I go to the show without a clue as to how to
    resolve it, and I'll be darned! Sometime during one of the jams, a
    message just comes to me....I listen and so far 5 out of 5 times, it's
    been the wisest choice to have made.  My mind feels so open when
    listening to this group, and then during a show...WOW!
    
    Another way it has changed me again, is the appreciation of *MY* life. 
    I used to not care if I were dead or alive.  I used to think of the
    former often in the past when I was married and first divorcing.  Since
    then, I've really focused on the group and I now HAVE a reason to live: 
    If I die, I can't hear what the boyz have to say and play anymore. 8-\  To
    some, that's not a very good reason, but for me, when all other reasons
    (other than being a chicken) have not longer helped, this reason is
    good enough.  And it works.
    
    I don't know if any of this has made any sense, there's just sooo many
    feelings, that I'm finding it difficult to put them into words.  But oh
    well, when talking to you people, I have a feeling I don't have to
    rilly explain myself THAT much! 8-)
    
    rochelle

    I feel the same.
    
    :-)sparky

    Just another random thought after I entered my note...
    
    Their music makes me feel sooooo complete and happy inside.  Whenever
    I'm feeling down, I pop in one of their tapes and before I know it, my
    spirits begin to lift.  At night when I can't sleep cuz my mind is a
    jumble, I put in a tape and the music calms me enough to be able to
    open up and write what it is that's going on inside of me...it's the
    most tranquail (sp?) feeling I've ever experienced....Thanks boyz!
    
    rochelle