Conference moira::parenting_v3

    I don't buy that this is any indication of a woman feels when she's
    pregnant.  I sounds like a scam to me.  I think Phil Donahue wore one
    on his show one time.  I guess people will buy almost anything.  
    
    
    
    Mike

    Yeah, it was on the Phil Donahue show that they showed this.  Actually
    it was pretty funny watchin him wear it around the set.  It gave him a
    first hand feeling of what it's like trying to maneuver with your belly
    protruding - trying to sit down, and get up; trying to find a
    comfortable position lying down; the pressure on your bladder, the
    tightness around the chest.  An interesting and enlightening experience
    for soon-to-be-fathers so they said!
    

    I saw a small article about them before Phil had his show.  Actually,
    they said the vests were useful in trying to discourage teenage pregnancy by
    showing the "not-so-romantic" aspects of being pregnant.  It's not
    always fun lugging a prego belly around... 

    I read that before they were released, they were tested by women
    who had been pregnant, who agreed that it did simulate several
    aspects of pregnancy -- the imbalance, the ungainliness, and the
    backaches in particular -- rather well.  
    
    Obviously it doesn't show exactly what it's like to be pregnant,
    but it sounds closer than just the imagination.
    
    --bonnie

    Didn't Opus wear one once in "Bloom County?"

Does it kick you and you feel it inside your tummy?  Does it give you
indigestion, make you sleepy all the time, or hungry?  Does it make hair
grow in places it never did, and fingers and feet swell?  Sounds like a scam
to me too - why can't I think of something so outrageous and make money on it
at the same time????   :-)

re .5

Opus' contraption held two bottles on the chest, supposedly simulating the
breastfeeding effect.  Breathed (Bloom County author) said with tongue firmly
in cheek it would promote male bonding.

The funny thing with that was that in the comic strip reference the Sharper
Image store was listed as having it.  Apparently the next day the Sharper
Image had to tell thousands of potential customers that the whole thing was
just a joke.

Since then, I've seen something like it advertised in The Right Start
catalog (one bottle only, though.)

Marty


Now back to our regularly scheduled program!

Well, I can't get too excited.  Now if they can come up with a contraption 
that would show a man what it is like to go through labor, that might be 
something (count me out). 

Clay

    re .6  How about a pet rock?

    They have, sort of.  I understand kidney stone pain is similiar without
    the thrill of giving life.  I have had a number of kidney stones and I
    can assure you its the most extreme pain I have ever endured.  I can
    speak for stone pain, but not labor pain so I can't offer a direct
    comparison. Witnessing my sons birth and my wife labor I think her
    labor (according to her) wasn't "that bad".   Jeff

    	How much does this "experience" cost?

    $550.00
    
    I was curious and interested for counselling a group of teenage boys. 
    The price was too restrictive for our budget.  There seems to be an
    amount of supportive literature about the *Empathy Belly's* ability to
    simulate pregnancy.  I have literature and address info if others are
    interested.
    
    

    re: .14
    
    You might try calling the OB departments at local hospitals.  If
    they're using it in their prenatal classes, they might be willing
    to rent or loan it to other support groups.
    
    --bonnie

    
    I have a question maybe a little more on the serious side.
    
    Could I be sharing too much information with my husband on when the
    baby is kicking, rolling around and such.  My husband seems a little
    irretated now when I start to laugh for no reason (reason-baby
    kicking).  My husband seems to be playing cool when I say something like 
    (oh there, he just did a big kick).
    
    Everytime I say put your hand here the baby stops.  I don't want to 
    have him feeling left out during these pre-baby months.  But I
    don't want him feeling jealous of me. 
    
    Should I say less?  
    
    PS. This is our first. Due in FEB.1992
    PSS. Last night he was jokeingly putting a pillow in his shirt.
        
    JOAN - The one with all the questions... 

    Joan, you can never share TOO much with your husband.  I was always
    sort of a keep to myself person during pregnancy.  One time he was
    present when the doctor listened to the heartbeat with a dopler, and a
    speaker box. I had been hearing this for several months previous so it
    wasn't a newthing to me, it was his first time hearing it. I looked at
    this, always in control, sober type man, and saw tears of joy in his
    eyes!
    

    Joan,
    Whenever my wife had me try to feel the baby moving, I couldn't. One
    night I laid with the small of my back against her belly. That was the
    first time that I could feel him move around. I think the combination
    of sensitivity of the skin (vs rough hands) helped and the fact that I
    stayed in one place for some time - give it a try.
    
    I was really interested in this kind of stuff and once I really could
    feel too, it was great!
    
    Share away - or ask him if he is not comfortable and why.
    
    2 cents -
    JR

    Joan -
    
    Ask him.....He'll tell you if he's interested or not better than
    we can 8*)
    
    It's amazing how when our husbands/SO's get near the baby, they
    stop kicking...lately my hubby's been able to feel my baby move
    when he pokes is finger into my stomach...usually the baby will
    kick back...try that!  Last night I left the remote on my tummy
    and he watched it jump all over....
    
    My husband is so interested in all this but you just can't
    simulate what you're feeling....
    
    My husband says, "Since we're the ones that go through all the
    torture of pregnancy, it's only right we get the pleasure of being
    the only one to really feel the baby grow!"
    
    I thought that was pretty neat....Kristen

    
    The spooning (your belly to his back) worked for us too last time;
    otherwise he always seemed to stop when "Dad" was near! I found that 
    body contact seemed to be much better than just hand-on-belly. 
    
    I agree, just speak to him about it - Alan is very much a part of
    my pregnancy, he goes to all my appointments and makes sure that
    hearing the heartbeat and seeing the ultrasound is a shared experience.
    He is proud of the fact that I gnawed on his hands during the previous
    delivery and that he helped hold me during that time. 
    
    Monica
    
    P.S. Joan, come over and chat sometime! 

    Thanks for the suggestions of including your spouse in on the babies
    movement. 
    
    Last night we tried the spooning (my belly to his back) and he got a
    full performance by the little one.  That worked GREAT!!
    I also did the obvious and asked him how he felt about me talking about
    each movement, he enjoyed it.
    
    I would enjoy to hear anyone else's experiments on how to include their
    spouse in the 9 months of maternity.
    Both of us are looking forward to every experience of a new born.
    
    joan       ps Thanks Monica I will.
                   

    After a half-dozen or so times when my wife would say "oh, there he 
    goes!" or "look!" or "check this out!", only to have him stop moving 
    the nanosecond before I could look, I started to get pretty aggrivated,
    especially since this would usually take place late at night after we
    had just gone to bed, and usually as I was just dropping off to sleep...
    It had even gotten to a point where I was wondering if Kathy was
    imagining things, or if she was doing it just to bust my chops.
     
    However...that first time where I was quick enough to catch him in the
    act made up for all the aggrivation and lost sleep!!! I was stunned and
    thrilled and amazed at the same time. Once that first sighting was over
    with, it seemed (to me, anyway) that it became easier to catch him in
    the act... so much so that it almost became part of our nightly ritual,
    complete with color commentary: "OK now, roll over!", or "he'll now
    attempt a 2-1/2 gainer from the pike position".
    
    I guess what I'm trying to say is don't confuse your husband's fatigue
    or even dissapointment with a lack of concern. I'm sure his outlook
    will change once he finally gets to share the experience.
    

I have seven more weeks to go. I have this theory that as soon as
I speak, the baby stops moving because he/she hears my voice.
More often then not it helps if I don't say anything, just quietly
move Paul's hand on to the spot where the movement is.

I read an interesting part on a concert pianist who could for some
inexplicable reason play an intricate piece without having the music
in front of him. It turned out that his mother used to play it time
and time again when she was pregnant with him.

Having taken this in, I have started playing this music box now, in
the hope that once the baby is born, he/she will recognise the music
and be calmed down when in distress. Maybe a long shot but you never know!
If these commercially available 'womb music' tapes can do it, why
should this not work!

Silvia

P.S. Your husband should be able to hear the heart beat of the baby
     without instruments now... Paul could hear it at around 28 weeks.
     He may have to move around a bit because it depends on how the
     baby is lying....

    re .23, I agree that babies can recognize familiar things that they
    hear before birth.  I used to vent my frustrations during pregnancy
    quite loudly, after his birth I promised myself no more raised voices. 
    well one day "I lost it" and yelled for some silly thing, AJ kind of
    looked up at me like "oh yea, that's the voice I recognize!"  I have
    seen demonstrations on several news programs of babies being talked to
    by both mother, father, and a stranger (usualy a nurse).  In most cases
    the baby will turn towards the mother's voice.
    
    Re: hearing the baby's heartbeat...I don't think so.  I've attempted to
    hear the baby's heartbeat during several of my ambulance calls, with my
    normal (double tubed, doctor style) stethoscope up to and including a
    full term infant.  It's impossible, you need a special stethoscope or a
    dopler with an external microphone.  It is generally accepted that
    without special equipment, the heartbeat can't be heard. In fact I
    caught H*LL from an OB nurse one night with a placenta previa mom,
    because I couldn't give her a fetal heartrate! They didn't understand
    that I don't carry that sort of equipment.  (well didn't then, we now
    have an acceptable substitute)
    
    Lyn