Conference moira::parenting_v3

    Those velcro patches would also work well for attaching those
    troublesome missing pacifiers.
    
    --bonnie

    how about Lojack implants for kids???
    

    
    
    	I'd vote for self cleaning!... kind of like an oven, you
    	lock them in place and throw a switch and in a few seconds,
    	dirty faces, sticky fingers... messy diapers whatever! Is
    	sparkly clean! ;-)

    ...especially handy for when parent(s) use the phone.
    
    Leslie

    Speaking of Velcro ....
    
    One of our local newspaper columnists took his young family (4 kids,
    and a neighbour of ours) on a trip in an RV to Canada's East Coast ...
    some 6-700 miles.  Anyway, he wrote about part of the trip in a log
    he sent daily to the paper.
    
    In one article, he wrote that he had found the perfect solution for
    kids who wouldn't sit still or who misbehaved  while riding in the RV
    (or at home for that matter).  He'd been in a supermarket getting some
    food and while waiting in line was tempted by an article in one of
    those newspapers (you know the kind ... woman has two headed son ...
    type).  Anyway a woman described in this article that she had made all
    her kids clothes with velcro fuzz all over the back, and she had lined
    a wall in her home with Velcro hooks ... 
    
    So, when the kids misbehaved, she simply lifted them off the ground and
    attached them to the wall.
    
    True or effective ? Dunno ... it was next to an article entitled
    "Woman gives birth to space alien's child"
    
    
    Stuart

    I'd like to have an OFF button installed.  And maybe a volumn control
    knob.
    ed
    

    I'd like the romote control to work on kids...
    
    to cut the noise level on fights and their radio music...
    
    and does anyone have any ideas on saying in touch with 
    college age and older kids?
    
    I'd like a funnel to pour into the head of my oldest all I've
    learned about being a parent that he is determined to learn
    on his own.
    
    Bonnie

I'd ask for a method to instantaneously transport kids from place to place, 
perhaps by laser beam.  Need to go to soccer practice?  Zap, you're there.
Girl Scouts? Zap, no problem.  Ballet at the same time as ice skating?  Glad 
you asked.  Just rearrange the molecules so that they are in both places 
simultaneously.  This molecule rearrangement could also allow parents to 
attend events at different places at the same time.

Clay

    I would have loved for my son to be able to speak when he was very
    young and sick to tell me whay was wrong.
    
    I would love kids with hair like "Grow-a-Hair Chrissy" where you can
    either let their hair out or "screw" it back in when it gets long. Save
    time with those hair cuts.
    
    I'd love a washing  machine where you could throw flithy, dirty kids,
    clothes still on, right into after coming in from playing in the mud.
    
    I'd like velcro around wrists and calves to keep mittens and boots on.
     
    I'd love my son to have to powers of Mary Poppins when it comes time to
    pick up his toys. With a snap of the finger all his toys would be
    marching happily into his toy box. I could use this too!!!
    
    I like to have something that would keep my son from trying to reach
    everything he wants at the grocery store. They have to move the seat on
    the carts or get velcro seats so he can't get up!!! 

    I would like an attachment on the changing mat which would pin my
    wriggly 16 month old down, and prevent her from rolling over, standing
    up and walking away during a diaper change.  I would also like some
    sort of machine to hold her still while I'm dressing her.  And while
    we're about it, a machine to transform a wet, naked, recently bathed
    little person into a dry, diapered, pyjamed, hair-brushed and
    tooth-cleaned little person.
    
    AND I would like velcro on the top of the head, to keep sum hats on in
    the summer and woolly hats on in the winter.
    
    Come on now, it's not a lot to ask, is it? :-)
    
    - Janet
    

    I'd like a hold or pause button, so I could get a few minutes to
    get hold of myself before I had to deal with a crisis.  Or so
    spouse and I could take a break for marital activities without
    cutting into the time we spend with the kids :)
    
    --bonnie

I'd just like 'em to be born already toilet trained!

    How about a kid size coat hook and a built in collar loop, to hang the
    kids up off the floor while it dries, or just to give us time to take a
    breather!  Or maybe even better, an outside door with NO doorknob, so they
    can't come in and out 20million times a day, unless you let them in when 
    it's time!!
    
    While we're at it how about a winning Megabucks ticket so we can stay
    home and spend time watching these wonders grow!! (of course a livein
    maid or nanny wouldn't hurt)
    

    I agree with the OFF button, or maybe PAUSE and sometimes MUTE.  They
    already run in FAST FORWARD, so I don't need that!
    
    Of course I need a remote control and it wouldn't bother me if the
    PAUSE and MUTE modes were sound-activated when the phone rings!
    
    How about a built in clock that tells them that they're sleepy at
    bedtime (= parentally determined time)?

    How about a remote for parents which has a love mode on it.  That way
    when we are having a bad day we can push a button and get the feeling
    we get when our kids hug us and tell us they love us.
    
    
    Peace,
    
    Mike (Whose had a loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong Monday)

    I'ld like to be able to tap into their energy and enthusiasm for life.

    There are days when I wished they never learned the word "why".

    How about an air cushion to prevent serious bumps and bruises.

    With some genetic engineering maybe we could conceive babies that
    are born with the ability to secrete biodegradable, water proof
    plastic bags around their diaper areas.  These naturally secreted
    bags would form a perfect seal around the diaper areas and
    automatically collect all excretions.  Periodically, say every
    few hours, or when full, these bags would automatically seal
    themselves off and a new one would grow in its place.
    
    Presto, no diapers ever.
    
    The penultimate version of this would be secreted bags that
    are water soluable, but would still hold the bodies excretions.
    Then, disposal of such bags would be via a flush down the toilet.
    

    Hair that combs itself
    
    Shoes that come when you call them
    
    Playdoe that doesn't make a mess
    
    Bodies made with a soft but pliable impervious material that doesn't
    cut, scrape or bruise
    
    Kate Donovan

    Stepford kids?

    How about a self-correcting model that instantly knows when it's done
    something wrong and then never does it again.  This would save wear and
    tear on parent's nerves - just think - you'd never have to say "No!"
    again!  :-)
    
    Nanci

    Magic hands for parents.  Just put your hands on the childs
    head and it will give you a readout (on your palm) of childs
    temp., what hurts, and what medicine you should dispense in
    the right dosage for his/her weight.

    Eyes like dolls used to have (do they still make dolls like this?) - lay
them down and they go to sleep, and they don't wake up until you pick them up
again.

    This isn't a genetic engineering suggestion, but it is "lite."  My
    household was expanded earlier this week by two young kittens, as
    frisky and adorable as they come.  My kids have been absolutely in 7th
    heaven ever since.  The kittens felt right at home after a short while,
    and now the four of them (kittens plus boys) spend hours on end
    following each other around the house in various combinations and
    styles, stalking, galloping, crashing into walls, hiding behind
    furniture . . . .  Strings of yarn with paper balls tied to the end
    suddenly proliferated, and I couldn't quess who gets the most pleasure
    out of them.  Watching the whole scene is so funny, I can't get supper
    cooked.  We've had cats in the house all along (until last summer), but
    they were already rather ancient and sedate when the boys were born,
    and this is a whole new experience.  I'm sure the ecstasy will were off
    after awhile, but for now, its great!
    
    They are rather thoroughly Digital cats (not to be confused with
    digital clocks), as they were born to the cat of a colleage of mine
    practically within spitting distance (feline or human) of the Mill. 
    There is still one left, a handsome all black one that I would probably
    have picked, but the boys got the choice, and went for multi-colors (I
    drew the line on quantity).  If anyone's interested, send me mail.
    
    		- Bruce

    This note is a great idea.
    
    My husband and I always point the TV remote at the kids and press the
    "Mute" button.  Doesn't seem to work...
    
    We also used to think that, as a newborn, Paige worked like one of those
    dolls with the open and shut eyes EXCEPT in her case, her eyes would be
    closed UNTIL you laid her down.  Then they'd open.  Pick her up, the eyes
    close.  Lay her down again...
                    

    The laundry note made me think of this one.  It's not exactly a modification
    to kids, but it's an invention I'd *love* to see:

    Magic bibs.  While the baby or child is eating, the bib exerts a strong
    attractive force to collect every stray bit of food and liquid.  When the
    meal is over, take the (saturated) bib to the sink, flip a switch, and
    the force turns to a strong repulsion, so all the food falls into the
    sink, and can be washed down the drain.

    Also, when David was around 18 months old, I probably woud have paid
    a significant amount of money for padlockable kleenex boxes...

								cheryl

    Yeah.  And lockable toilet paper rolls, too.
    
    --bonnie