Conference moira::parenting_v3

    We lost a son at 19 weeks from premature rupture of membranes
    due to incompetent cervix.  In our case, they told us that the
    membranes would not reseal, but that may have been due to the
    fact that the cervix was wide open by then.
    
    While the doctors said they could try keeping my wife in bed, they
    didn't hold out much hope: with an open cervix and no membrane,
    infections are almost certain and the baby's immune system isn't
    working yet.  They also said that without amniotic fluid to breathe
    the lungs wouldn't develop properly--but they also said that
    sometimes, in other cases, there's enough fluid after a rupture
    that things can work out.
    
    I hope you have a better situation than we did, and are lucky--but
    your child is in a very difficult and dangerous state.  The next
    few weeks will be very hard for you--feel free to send me mail
    if that would help, or you could call (DTN 381-2041).  And feel
    free to ask for help and information from the doctors--that's
    part of what they are there for.
    
    		-John Bishop

Linda,

You, Cindy and the baby are in my thoughts.

Hugs,
Abby

I ruptured a membrane at 28 weeks, and delivered my twins 2 days later.  They
will keep Cindy in the hospital until she delivers because with a broken
membrane, there is so much chance of getting an infection.  Is she having
contractions also?  Are they giving her something to stop the contractions?
If she's having contractions, another sign that she will deliver is if they
break through and can no longer be delayed, so if she's not having contractions,
that's a very good sign.

Do you know the sex of the baby?  That also makes a difference in how they
develop.  If she can get to the 24-28 week range, the baby stands a very good
chance of survival, though there may be problems associated with the 
prematurity.  You can contact me offline, or we can discuss premature babies
when the time comes in the note for that.  There are a few of us who participate
in this file who have premature babies and may be able to translate some
of the information the doctors give you.  

The next few weeks will be very stressful for you and Cindy.  Take care of
yourselves, and bring her some good reading material.  Let's hope she's in
for a long stay.

My prayers are with all of you.

Linda, I've never had such an experience, but just let me offer my support
and send the only thing I can, my best wishes that everything will turn out
well.

I've heard of a procedure where the cervix is sutured until near the end of term,
is this something that might help in this case?  I don't know exactly how it
works.  The only one I know of had a miscarriage due to a compromised cervix,
and ended up with beautiful twins 18 months later!  Now there's a success story
if I ever heard of one!

Lyn

It is so helpful to hear from others who have been through the same thing,
even if the outcome wasn't the hoped for one.  So far Cindy's cervix is
closed and she is not having contractions.  The leaking has stopped but we
don't know if that is because she has lost all the fluid, or if she is
healing.  The first doctor we got acted like it is better to induce labor and
get it over with.  Only after we told them we plan to give this pregnancy  a
chance did they start getting helpful about how to do that.  It is amazing
how bonded you can get in four months.  The hardest part is that the baby is 
safe and sound right now, and knowing what could happen.  The current doctor
on rotation said that bed-rest is the best thing if you want every chance 
possible.  We are on HCHP which fortunately uses Beth Isreal for OB/GYN.
They haven't said if the bed-rest would be at home or in the hospital.  Thanks
for the prayers, I'm sure they will help if anything can.
	Linda

    Linda,
    
    I too send my best wishes for all of you.  A friend of ours had a
    similar circumstance at 2x? weeks.  She was hosptialized for a few
    weeks, then the membranes did reseal...She made it to 32 weeks with
    very little fluid and today her son is perfect at 4 year old.  She is now
    at week 37 with her second baby!!! She has had a easy but carefully
    watched pregnancy.
    
    If the baby does come prematurely, I can offer my experience as a mom
    of a 26 weeker..."normal pregnancy" until I went into labor.  
    Of course the longer the baby holds on the better, but I have met 24 
    weekers that have survived and do well.
    
    Warm thoughts
    Beth

    Linda,
    I too will have you and Cindy in my thoughts; keep your hopes up!
    And let us know how things are going....
    
    Monica

    
    Linda,
    
    	I'm also sending my thoughts and prayers, for all of you.
    Please let us know how things are going.
    
    Lisa

    Dear Linda and Cindy,
    
    You two could be in for a very long road. Listen to the doctors,
    ask questions and keep in touch with us.  Five years ago, June, 
    I went into labor at 23.5 weeks (note 20).  I was totally bedridden 
    and so very scared.  The *WONDERFUL* people here in this conference
    were terrific.  I feel strongly that I couldn't have made it without
    them.  It was stressful and frightening in a big way. At times I 
    felt very alone even with a husband and small daughter at home. There
    were times when I wanted to take an easy way out. Now I look at my 
    beautiful boy and tears of joy fill my heart.
    
    Hang in there, I know you've worked very hard to get this far.  Please
    keep the faith and let us know how you're doing. We care.
    
    Jodi- 
    

Linda, 

Shellie and I send our love and support.

I hope the membranes seal, and that the baby is able to stay inside Cindy
and grow until it is strong enough to come out and survive well.  I've been
hearing lately that there are *some* babies that have lived starting *very*
young.  There's been one in the paper here in Colo Spgs recently - does anyone
remember how long she was in the womb?  Wasn't it 20.5 weeks?  I think the
newspaper said that she is now 2 years old and doing well.  However, I haven't
paid much attention.  I just want you to know that even if the baby is born in
a couple of weeks, there may be a chance. 

I have already started praying for you.

     Lots of love,

         Carol

    Linda,
    
    I also send you lots of warm wishes and support.  I can only imagine
    how hard this must be for you.
    
    Let's hope you can put a happy ending in here, as many others have
    suggested.
    
    All the best,
    
    judy

    Linda,
    
    You both will be in my prayers.  My membranes broke at 23 weeks 1 day
    and I did go into labor within 24 hours.  Heather was delivered at 23
    weeks 3 days.  
    
    She is now a healthy, although tiny, 3 1/2 year old.  There is much
    that can be done for the baby that is born early.
    
    Keep the faith,
    
    Susan  

    Thank you Susan for the quick update on Heather. 
    
    I've thought about you and your family many times since Heather's
    bout with Pertussis (Whooping Cough). 
    
    Glad to hear all is well.
    
    
    Jodi-

    Linda,
    
    I will offer my prayers for Cindy, the baby and you.    Keep your
    hopes up.
    
    
    Love and Hugs,
    
    Bernie

    Linda,
    
    My daughter (now 2 1/2) was born at 24 weeks. I know what you are
    going through and will pray for you all.
    
    Joe

    The suturing procedure that another noter referred to is called
    cervical circlage (spelling??) and it sort of seals the cervix
    in kind of a "drawstring purse" way.  One of my sisters had it
    done.  I think she went the full 40 weeks and her daughter
    Rebecca is now 10, healthy, smart, athletic and beautiful.
    
    Love and prayers to all of you.  It is truly amazing what can
    be done for premature infants these days!  (Now, if they just
    could do something for us parents while we're going through
    this agony....)
    
    Peace,
    Kate, Mike, James and Hollis

    The Campagna family's thoughts and prayers are with all of you. 
    
    Try to look at the positive things... At least she is at BI - Beth
    Israel is one of the best hospitals, so you won't have to face your
    partner being flown to a high risk facility far from home, which
    happened to a friend of ours when her membranes ruptured at 25 or so
    weeks (Andrew is now a beautiful 3.5 year old)
    
    Please keep us posted. 
    
    Lee Ann and Family
    

  Cindy is home now on bed-rest.  They sent her home yesterday since there
was no sign of infection.  She had some bleeding and mild cramping overnight,
and then passed a clot this morning, so we went back to the emergency room. 
They did an internal exam and said her cervix is still closed completely,
meaning she is not going into labor.  The baby's heartbeat was strong.  Her 
mother came up and is keeping her company, which allowed me to feel okay
coming back to work.  If anyone knows someone on bed-rest who would want
to be a phone friend, that would be great.  It really helped to read the notes
in 20.* about being confined to bed, and to realize that it is do-able.  Cindy's
work is going to loan her a portable so she can learn SAS and FoxPro, whatever
that is.  The odds are still not great, but we want to give this baby every 
chance.
	Linda

  Regarding the emotions, it is *such* a roller-coaster.  We have said good-bye
to the baby several times, only to find out that the time has not come yet.
You think you are prepared for the worst, but then realize you can never be
ready for that to happen.  
	Linda

  Cindy wanted me to tell everyone that hearing about others experiences and
getting the thoughts and prayers have helped her immensely.  Her bleeding has
tapered off, and we are going to the doctor's office on Monday where they
will evaluate the fluid to see if it is reaccumulating.
	Linda

    
    Thinking of you both...and wishing you the best of luck.
    This must be difficult on you both, its time to be strong for one
    another.
    
    We'll all be waiting to hear how things go...
    
    Best Wishes,
    Chris
    
    

  We had our first in-office visit with the OB yesterday.  The ultrasound
showed that there was some fluid around the baby, but not a lot.  The baby
looked strong on the ultrasound.  S/he was moving around and we got a good 
view of the four chambers of the heart beating.  The OB, who is great, said 
that if Cindy makes it to 24 weeks they will put her in Brigham and Women's to 
do her bedrest there with easy access to the NICU unit at Children's Hospital.
That is still a long way off, but the date is May 1st, May Day, which is
nice to think about.  Cindy is still bleeding, but it is dilute.
	Linda

    
    Linda, and Cindy,
    
    	Keeping you all in my thoughts and hoping May 1 comes very quickly.
    
    Please keep us posted on how Cindy is doing.
    
    Lisa

Have you approached the OB about replacing the amniotic fluid?  As wild as this
sounds it was suggested to me by my OB as a possibilty for future pregnancies.
I think it's replaced with normal saline, much the same way that an amniocentis
is done.

Sending good thought your way!
Lyn

Lyn,
 That is an interesting idea.  I was wondering about this the other day.
It seems like the dangers would be poking the fetus since it doesn't have
much room to move around in now, and infection similar to the procedure
for amniocentesis.  I'll ask the OB about it at our next visit and maybe
do some research at a medical library this weekend.
	Linda

   The baby came on April 1st, at 7:20pm.  We named him David Gregory Stinson,
and said goodbye to him at the hospital.  Beth Isreal was great.  They
brought us to the labor and delivery floor and walked us through the start of
the grieving process in a caring way.  We held the baby and got photographs of
him and some momentos.  It is very hard because this is one of those things
that is not supposed to happen, yet it does.  We plan to keep the memory of
David and not forget what he meant to us in his brief existance.  Cindy was
incredible.  The one thing she did not want to do was natural childbirth, but
she had all of her labor at home.  By the time we arrived at the hospital (just
in time) she was fully dilated.  The experience has made us very close, and
she says when she saw the baby, it made her realize what the whole pregnancy
thing was for.  We will definately be doing it again some day.
	Linda

Linda,

I'm thinking of you, Cindy and David.

Hugs,

Abby

    Linda,
    
    I am very sorry to read about baby David Gregory.   It is very hearth
    breaking to lose a baby.
    
    I offer my sympathy to both you and Cindy.
    
    
    Bernie

    Oh no...  I'm so sorry.  Thank you for telling us; it must have been
    difficult to write about it.
    
    Hugs and healing light,
    Leslie

    Linda,
         I'm very saddened to hear this.  You, Cindy and David are in my 
    thoughts.
    
    				Mary

    Linda,
    
    I am so sorry to hear your sad news. 
    
    Your entire family are in my thoughts..
    
    Lee Ann
    

    I'm so sorry to hear about your sad news.
    
    Cathy

    
    I'm so sorry to hear about your loss.  It's wonderful that the hospital
    helped so much.  My prayers are with you.
    
    Bev

    May I add my thoughts to everyone else's.  You put it just the way I
    did after we lost our daughter, "it's not supposed to be like that",
    and even to this day I still feel that way.
    
    I will be stopping by Stacy's grave this week to leave some flowers, I
    will leave an extra one, for David!
    
    sniff,
    Lyn

    Indeed, I too, add my sincerest sympathies.
    I cannot but help think about the babies we have lost -- I am now
    at 33 weeks, precisely when Daniel stopped moving last year.
     
    I have been weeping today, for Daniel, for Stacy AND for David.
    (and Liz: for Patrick too).
     
    Gosh, Linda, I am SO sorry......
    
    Monica
    

I am so saddened to hear of your loss.  David will carry memories in your
heart forever and live on.

Our thoughts and prayers are with you.

Many hugs,
Dottie

    I am so sorry for the three of you.
    
    May you gain strength and love from each other during this difficult
    time.
    
    Even more hugs,
    
    judy

  I just want to thank everyone for the caring and sympathy we have received
both here and by mail.
	Linda

I'm *still* crying.

      Carol  :-(

    
    I am so sorry. I wish you the strength to withstand the trauma of such
    a tragedy.
    
    Pam
    
    

    There aren't any words to say...
    
    I think some children are meant to be loved for a short time. They come
    into our lives and we grow as a result. We don't ever forget them.
    
    I'm sorry for the long ordeal and the dashed hopes. I'm uplifted by the 
    opportunity to love and to dream. Don't stop dreaming.