Conference moira::parenting_v3

Different kids need (or benefit from) structure at different ages.  Both of 
our children HAD to adapt to going to a daycare center and a home daycare 
environment from your son's age, because the home daycare provider only worked 
three days a week.  They seemed to enjoy both.  If we had not been forced into 
the decision, we probably would have stayed in home daycare full time until 
our children turned four, then placed them in preschool.

I would make the decision irrespective of the transportation issue.  Is 
your son bored with the current home daycare situation?  Do you have concerns 
that the current daycare situation won't be a positive environment as he 
reaches the latter stages of toddlerhood?  How does he adapt to unfamiliar
situations?  Are you happy with your current home daycare provider?

In making your decision, remember that kids your son's age don't necessarily 
value "variety."  On the contrary, they may value predictability, stability, 
and consistency, and "variety" may confuse and upset them.

As for putting him in the younger age group, what is the cutoff date?  In 
other words will he be closer to one year older than the other kids, or two 
years older (two years is a BIG gap at that age).  Emotionally and physically, 
is your son "old" or "young" relative to his chronological age?  Does the 
center have a policy (that is, will they even _allow_ you to put your son in 
with a younger age group)?  

Good luck with your decision.

Clay                                         

    Clay raised a lot of good points.  Personally, I will not
    put my son in a younger group.  It happened once at his
    daycare center.  He was one of the oldest in his class,
    and he was bored to death.  During that period, he refused
    to go to daycare and would rather stay home playing along.
    Now he is the youngest in his class both in daycare and in
    pre-school.  He loves it.  Everyday he cann't wait to go
    to daycare/school.
    
    I think it really depends on your child's personality and
    school's program.  Some school's 2 yr old program cover both
    2 & 3 yr old and some don't.
    
    Wendy

Juli is the "senior" in her daycare "stage" group.  Jim/I initially believed
this might "slow down" her ability to "grow, mature and develop", but
we met with Juli's head instructor to discuss both the pros and cons of making
this decision.

Juli is advanced in all areas of development (per daycare analyses, the
Pediatrician's evaluation, family feedback and interaction with children her
own age).  Juli is highly self-motivated, got tons of self-esteem and tends
to "push herself" to achieve  (by her 2nd birthday, she knew the entire alphabet, colors, could
counted to 20, did simple math, draw pumpkin faces, colored within lines, 
could control a pencil ... and was rated "above average" in physical and 
emotional development, as well).

So ... why NOT promote her "upwards"?

Well ... why should we?  She seems to put herself under enough pressure to
achieve and learn, why put her in a situation where she's the "runt" and
add more peer pressure and stress to a child who already meets the expectations
of her age?  We provide Juli with the tools and opportunity to learn ... 
and let HER learn at HER pace ... not to compete with children "older"
than her.  Daycare (and schooling, in general) should be both fun AND a 
learning experience.  It's important to keep that balance in a child's life.
Don't overwhelm her/him with expecations ... especially as a toddler or
preschooler.  They will learn ... at their pace.

Juli is far from bored in her daycare "stage" group.  She is kept VERY busy.
Being the "senior", she doesn't encounter as much peer pressure AND she gets
to be the leader ... she often gets to assist the teacher and the children
tend to "look up" to her.  Activities are less-structured, but still very much
challenging.  Although she's potty-training, she isn't "pressured" to ... since
most of her classmates are still in diapers ... and the few who are potty-
training are having as many accidents as Juli ... she's not intimidated or
ashamed of her "misses".

So, Jim/I ... together with the feedback from Juli's head instructor (supported
by our Pediatrician) ... believed Juli would do "just fine" NOT to promote to
the next stage ... and we don't see any fallback from this decision.

To each their own ... but there are "pros" in being the senior of the
class.

My two cents.
Dottie

    Speaking of ages, does anyone know how old my daughter would have to be
    before entering kindergarden?  We live in Nashua, NH, and I can
    remember when my brother was little, he had to go to kindergarden the
    following year because he didn't turn 5 by August 20th (or something
    like that).
    
    Alyssa will turn 5 November 27th.
    
    Thanks,
    Gail
    

    In Nashua, the child must turn 5 by September 30th in order to attend
    Kindergarten.

    Lynne -
    
    One thing to consider if you put your child in the preschool with your
    friend's child is that he will be with someone he knows.  This might be
    more comfortable for him in a new environment.  As he gets used to the
    preschool, then you can make the decision on whether he should stay
    with the same group or move on to the next stage of 3 year olds.  He is
    also probably at a stage where you can talk to him about this and see
    what he would like to do.
    
    Mary