Conference moira::parenting_v3

    
    Is he crawling yet? If you leave and he can't follow you this could be
    frustrating him. If he's just started crawling then maybe he's afraid
    to go very far. 
    
    CdH

    I remember this phase!  It helped us if I kept up a *constant*
    conversation with Alex... when I ran out of smalltalk I'd sing or talk
    about the bathroom wallpaper--anything to be making noise she could
    hear.  At that age they're beginning to suspect that things disappear,
    *no longer exist*, if they're not visible.  ("Mom, please don't go
    poof!")
    
    Leslie

    This is happening to me too.  My son is almost 8 months (does crawl)
    and it seems that everywhere I put him (highchair, playpen, crib, etc.)
    he cries (screams!!!)  Then when I pick him up he is fine. My pedi
    says I've done this to him because even when he was an infant I always
    picked him up instead of letting him cry it out.  I love him to death
    and hate to see him upset.  
    
    It has gotten worst over the last couple of days because we just moved
    into a new house and he's not used to the change.   I hope he gets out
    of this habit quick.  I can't get anything done.  
    
    Good luck,
    Donna
    

    > My pedi says I've done this to him because even when he was 
    > an infant I always picked him up instead of letting him cry it out.
    
    Ooh, I'm fantasizing a few things that could be done to the pedi (and
    they're not random acts of kindness!) for applying such a guilt trip. 
    Hope you're not punishing yourself over this mean accusation.
    
    Leslie

    Yeah, I agree... there's absolutely nothing wrong with picking up a
    crying infant, in fact, that's what you're supposed to do!  You can't
    spoil an infant!  Also, this kind of reaction to your leaving the room
    is perfectly normal for 9-month-olds.  If he _didn't_ do it, you should
    worry.

    I'm a bit surprised by the pedi's reaction in .3  Children that young
    cry when they need comforting.  Seems normal to me.
    
    I remember this phase.  As an answer to the question, I just got in
    the habit if taking Ellen into the bathroom with me.  It didn't last
    too long.  If I needed to leave her for a minute, I'd keep talking to
    her from wherever I was.
    
    I belong to a mothers group, and have noticed from observing some of
    the other children and talking to the moms that this is an area where
    individual personalities are evident.  For instance, Ellen wants
    constant attention, never stayed in a play pen for more than 10
    minutes, and loves to interact.  A friend's baby would play by himself
    in the play pen for an hour at a time.  Happy as can be.  I don't
    believe that leaving Ellen to 'cry it out' would have helped in the
    least.  It just wasn't what she needed.
    
    Good luck, and just have patience.  Babies need to be held and
    comforted.  I hope it never stops.
    
    Mary 

    I used to call my left hip "the cat-bird seat."  Both my kids were
    very satisfied sitting up there.  The stage didn't last very long.  As
    they became more mobil they were happier taking things out of drawers
    and cabinets than they were being somewhat restrained.  
    
    All the books say that there is a peak in "separation anxiety" around
    nine months and then again a little later (18 months?).  What MJ is
    doing sounds perfectly normal to me.
    
    LZP
    

    One thing that has helped my son (now 15 months) accept my leaving the
    room for a minute is that I never left him without telling him "I'll
    be right back."  I started doing this from the day I brought him home 
    from the hospital!  Not because I had the foresight to see how this 
    would help in the future, but only because it seemed rude to leave a 
    person, even a little person, and not say something on the way.  Well,
    now he knows that I will never slip out of the room without him knowing
    about it, and I think this has enabled him to relax a little better
    about my leaving.  
    
    You might want to try always using the same phrase, "I'll be back back"
    or "I'll be back in a minute", every time you leave the room, and also
    come back very, very quickly for these next few months.  That may help
    your baby grow used to your leaving.  
    
    I agree with the previous noter, though, who said that some children
    just need to have Mom in sight in order to feel comfortable, especially
    at 9 months old.
    
    Jane
    

    My daughter also cries if I leave the room - like noter .8 I also
    tell her I will be right back and I also talk to her from the other
    room. I think that as long as she can hear my voice - that she knows
    YES - MOMMY DOES COME BACK. She is ok.
    

    My son is 9 months and he is also going through that stage. Sometimes
    it works if I leave him with a few favorite toys and that takes his
    mind off of Mommy being gone. I always talk to him though and that
    seems to help most of the time unless he is really tired. I'm glad it
    is just a phase.

    
    My son responds very well now to "Just 1 minute while holding up 1
    finger".  He'll start in on me but when he sees the finger go up, he
    stops.   And when I leave him at Daycare, we always say bye bye and
    wave and have not had a tear yet.  (he will be 1 yr in March)  
    
    Just this week, he put his finger up to me when I wanted to pick him
    up, he wanted to grab a toy first.
    
    ..el