Conference moira::parenting_v3

    Oh Wendy what a great way to end the day!
    
    How old are/is your youngster?  I'd love to start Christmas with your
    idea of breakfast, but I'd end up peeling the kid off the ceiling!
    
    Hubby and I have been having a culture crash since we've been together
    over Christmas morning traditions.  He insists that "santa" wraps every
    single present, those little things in the stocking included.  I was
    raised that only the presents from mom and dad got wrapped.
    Unfortunately he seems to win out, and in that case, if *he* wants them
    wrapped, the *he* can wrap them!
    
    Since AJ we've started a new video tape starting with him coming down
    the stairs, even though this will be his third Christmas with our
    bedroom upstairs and his down.  He actually has to walk past the tree
    to get to the stairs.  The cats are always right in the middle of the
    action, and I've always got a cup of coffee in hand during the
    unwrapping process.  AJ always gets to open his presents first, then
    mom and dad do theirs.  All three stockings are opened first. (make
    that 5 stockings, can't forget the cats' stockings!)  We always have
    Christmas music playing softly in the background while we unwrap.
    
    I've usually bought a Stollen bread (?sp) to have for breakfast with
    coffee after presents are opened.  Of course hubby always buys me
    something "personal", I can't exactly model it for him anymore publicly, 
    but will try to at least do a "private" modeling of it later when we
    all get dressed to go to my inlaws for a continuation of the day.
    
    My inlaws always do Christmas dinner, (tons) more presents, and all the
    family gathers there, then we go to visit my husband's grandmother who
    is nearby, and home very late in the evening after relaxing in their
    hot tub with a glass of bubbly!
    
    Lyn
    (I'm dreaming of a white Christmas........."!)
    

    My husband is Italian, and his grandmother (who will be 102 in
    March...) always made Crystalle (sp ?) from scratch every christmas
    morning. So he does too! The are a thin, fried dough food that you make
    into a bow and cover with powdered sugar and honey (talk about sugar
    high..) The kitchen is a mess ! His parents added the tradition of Tom
    and Jerry's as well (coffee with beaten egg white and sugar and jack
    daniels.....)
    
    We open some gifts first, then make the crystalle. My husband would
    rather eat breakfast first, but with two boys aged 3 adn 5 3/4, it just
    would not work !
     

    Wendy, can we come to your house for breakfast?  *<:-}
    
    Our traditions: Alex gets to open one present on Christmas Eve--she can 
    select one from the family presents already under the tree.  Santa has 
    different wrapping paper from what the family uses, too.  (Good for you, 
    Lyn, in making hubby do the wrapping he requires!)  Big stuff from
    Santa, though, like a bike or wagon, isn't wrapped but might have a
    gigunda bow on it.
    
    I set up the video camera on a tripod before I go to bed, so I can
    switch it on before Alex goes in to the tree (and she waits for me to
    do that).  I get the cocoa and coffee going.  We open only our stockings 
    before breakfast, but since we really don't get hungry til we've been up 
    a while, breakfast is usually *just* the tangerine in the toe of the 
    stocking (an absolute MUST!).
    
    Opening presents is NOT BEDLAM!  One at a time, so that people can be
    thanked and so that everyone gets to see and appreciate what everyone
    else got.  (Also so we can tell what the heck was being opened and
    exclaimed over when we see the video!)  Usually someone is designated
    as "Santa" and gets to decide who gets the next present.
    
    Oh, almost forgot--we leave a glass of milk and a plate of cookies for
    Santa, and a bunch of carrots for the reindeer, on Christmas Eve.  The
    reindeer usually eat almost all the carrots but leave the greens!
    
    Leslie
    

    Christmas in our home is a combination of traditions.  I was brought up
    by Canadian parents and the Holiday season was very special.  Christmas
    Eve was dinner with relatives then home to wait for Santa to arrive. 
    The presents were always hidden somewhere in our house and as we kids
    got older we started finding them before Christmas, so our parents got
    smart and started hiding everthing in the attic.  Christmas morning we
    all woke up to the smell of turkey cooking as Mom always started
    cooking at about 4 in the morning.  First kid awake was allowed to go
    wake everyone else up.  We had to wait til everyone was up to start
    opening presents.  We were usually all opening everything at the same
    time which was very chaotic, but it was still nice.  Breakfast was
    whatever we all agreed upon.  Dinner always began at 2:00 with
    Grandparents and Aunt and Uncle and cousins.
    
    Before we had children our tradition followed my Husbands traditions, 
    which because he is from South America means Santa comes at midnight 
    on Christmas Eve.  I don't quite understand it yet but somehow he sneaks
    into the house while everyone is not looking and leaves all his presents 
    with all the ones that have already been put there. Then everyone takes
    turns opening presents and then party until the next morning.
    
    Now we sort of mix the two traditions.  We party all night, but the
    kids have to go to bed when we get home.  We hide all presents in the
    attic until the kids are asleep.  Christmas morning (usually 4 or 5 am)
    we put everything under the tree and then go to bed and wait for the
    kids to wake us up.  This is as close as we can get to the way I
    remember except I really miss having lots of family around.  
    
    happy holidays everyone...
    
    lynne
     

    
    I loved Christmas morning as a kid.  My mother and grandmothers
    decorated the train platform as a "Christmas Yard" with depictions of
    tons of fairy tales, etc. (Humpty Dumpty, Snow White and the 7 Drarfs,
    the North Pole, ...), and the rest of the house was decorated, but no
    tree.
    
    When we went to bed on Christmas EVE, my parents went to work on the
    tree.  We were not allowed to go down stairs on Christmas morning until
    the kids could drag Dad out of bed (which happened to take until the
    Grandparents arrived) and then we all had to close our eyes coming down
    the stairs.  Once down we all uncovered them at the same time and there
    was the 12 ft tree, all decorated, and the wrapped gifts that Santa
    brought.  What a thing for a kid to see!
    
    I believe this tradition of Santa bringing the tree as well as the
    gifts is a German tradition.
    
    breakfast was after the gifts, although my Mom was relaxed on Christmas
    and let us eat a few cookies while we opened gifts :-)
    
    Now that Stephanie is here, and we live in NC while the rest of the
    family is in PA, we spend Christmas in NC.  We still open gifts before
    breakfast, but we do them one at a time instead of all at once.  My
    husband runs the trains, and we eat when we feel like it.  It's a
    special relaxing family time for us.
    
    Bev

    re .3
    
    <big grin>
    
    No no no....it's supposed to be a big bag of M&M's in the toe
    of your stocking (that are consumed immediately for breakfast)!
    
    Boy talk about a sugar shot - I don't know how my parents could
    stand it - 5 kids each with a big bag of candy.  We weren't
    *supposed* to eat the M&M's right away, but golly gee whiz, the
    bags always seemed to 'rip open' on their way out of the stocking.
    So of course you *had* to eat the ones that fell out!
    
    The other standard stocking stuffer every year was a new toothbrush,
    usually found right next to (or even taped to) the bag of M&M's.
    
    ;-)  ;-)  ;-)  ;-)  ;-) 
    
    	Conni

    This is an interesting note for me.  As a Chinese, we never 
    really celebrate Chrismas.  But this year is different.  Eric
    (3.5) is now old enough to understand Chrismas and I feel it
    is important to setup a tradition.  I really want him enjoying
    this holiday and pass the tradition to his children.  So, please
    keep the replies coming.  I am most interested to know are there
    any special activities for Chrismas Eve and Chrismas Day except
    opening the presents.  Are there any special foods except cookies?
    
    Wendy 
    
    
    

    
    When I was young our Christmas was very steeped in tradition. On
    Christmas Eve we would go to Mom's parent's house. We would have fish
    chowder for supper and open gifts. Then we would go over to Dad's
    parent's house and open gifts and then go to the chapel at St. Mary's
    church for midnight mass said by my Uncle Bobby (a Jesuit at Boston
    College). When we would get home we would gather aroung the nativity
    and say some prays and put baby Jesus in the manger with Mary and
    Joseph. In the morning we would get up and go downstairs. Our Santa
    presents we not wrapped so we would play with them until Mom and Dad
    got up. Then once Mom had her coffee we would open gifts. Then we would
    have a huge brunch with steak and eggs and pastry. My mom's a nurse and
    she always worked Christmas day (3-11 shift) so that was the extent of
    our Christmas.
    
    Now Mom still has fish chowder on Christmas Eve if we're all there.
    My dad's family still gets together on Christmas Eve with Uncle Bobby
    saying Mass right in the house where we are. My husband and I aren't
    always there since my family lives in Weymouth and his in Springfield.
    I would like to always be at my folks since there is so much tradition
    while in his there isn't, but I know that isn't fair. So in the past we
    try and do Xmas Eve at my folks and then Xmas morning we get up and
    travel out to Springfield. Anna is too young to understand anything
    that is going on, but once she does I would like to stay home and start
    our own traditions with occasional trips to Weymouth for Xmas Eve.
    
    Patty

    We were allowed to get our stockings and take them back to our beds
    to enjoy the snacks and small presents inside.  Breakfast usually
    consisted of pumpkin pie, then open presents.  We always take turns
    opening.  The biggest problem we had was convincing my father that
    even though it may be more efficient to make a stack of presents
    for each person, it was more fun to rummage around looking for one
    with your name on it and not know if you were near the end yet,
    or who the big boxes were for.
    	Linda

    We always got a tangerine and some gold coins (chocolate) in the toe
    of our stockings.
    
    And, don't forget to leave out a snack for Santa on Christmast Eve.
    There were always 2 things we did first thing on Christmast morning:
    put the baby Jesus in the manger of our creche, and then check to see
    that Santa had come and eaten his snack! (Did you know that Santa
    preferred beer to milk :-)).
    

    
    Well, My husband and I have not started any tradition yet, because our
    daughter is 15 months old. This year we will start a tradition because
    this is actually Danielle's 1st xmas.  But before Danielle came along,
    I was always the first of us two to awaken at 6:30 and tap my hubby on
    the shoulder,"honey?,honey?...wake up..it's christamas!!" His reply
    always being the same every year.."Leave me alone..it's too early..come
    back in a couple hours!!"  He always ends up getting up early
    anyway, ha,ha. 
    
    He and I open the small gifts first then we each open our big gift from
    each other. Then we eat a breakfast of egg,bacon,toast and
    juice.(simple)   While plays his new Nintendo tape every year, I take a
    shower and clean up then it's off to his mothers for dinner with the
    rest of the family. 
    
    This year I hope to video tape our daughter opening her presents and
    start something new to carry on through the future years.
    
    
    Sandy

    	Well seeing as Spencer is so young, and I'm still breastfeeding, it
    looks like this year, we'll all be having some sort of breakfast
    *before* we open the presents. ;-)

    	Neither I nor Marc have immediate family nearby and so it becomes
    very important to us to have some sort of ritual for the Holidays.

    	One thing that we've done is to have our annual "Jammie -brunch"
    with our next door neighbors. Every year we buy a new pair of jammies
    and wear them over (across the hall) to have brunch. It's always a lot
    of fun.

    	We don't really do anything on Christmas Eve, although I do
    remember as a child, being allowed to open one gift (usually a toy)
    with which I could play and then take to bed.

    	When Spencer gets older, I'd like to set it up so that the
    stockings get opened first and then we *all* sit down for breakfast and
    then open the gifts. I know that this sounds like murder for a little
    child but it is also a way to make the day last. I remember times when
    the chaos was so fast and furious at our house (when I was growing up)
    that tears were often at the end of present opening because it was over
    so abruptly - even though we had gotten lots of gifts, no more?)

    	I also like going to midnight service (even though I do not attend
    church) I love the music, I love the quiet of the evening and I love
    the magic of the lights that people leave on. We *might* try that this
    year but it could be pushing it.

    	boy just thinking about all of this is making me very smiley. ;-)


    				Wendy

    
    Not only does Santa like beer but he's also partial to Milk-Bone
    cookies.
    
    			hmmmmmmm.

    My husband and I always have champagne while we open the presents, this
    dates back to the late seventies when we lived on the west coast and
    had no family around and spent Christmas morning by ourselves.  We've 
    continued the tradition even though my mother thinks it's scandalous to
    drink that early in the morning..............but I think I remember 
    pouring her a glass last year!
    
    Since Sam's arrival, if my parents have been in town, they have come
    over for breakfast and presents - arriving about 6:30-7:00 AM to make
    sure they don't miss Sam coming down the stairs - but for the last few
    years we've had to WAKE him up!
    
    This will be the first Christmas without my Dad so Mom is coming over
    Christmas Eve and will be spending the night with us.  We will have
    Christmas morning together, with the champagne as we open presents. 
    After the presents are opened we will have breakfast, I usually make
    cranberry bread, banana bread, juice and coffee.  This year we are
    having Christmas at our house - the start of a new tradition I think,
    in the past it's always been at Mom and Dad's if they are home.
    
    My brother, sister-in-law, nephew and his wife all join us for a quiet
    day and dinner.  Some point in the day we will call my sister's family
    in Indiana and everyone at our house will talk to everyone at her
    house.  The day usually ends fairly early, 6 or 7 at the latest, after
    Sam goes to bed Mike and I usually will watch a favorite Christmas
    movie - Christmas in Conneticut, Miracle on 34th Street, It's a
    Wonderful Life, or ? - the movie with Apple Annie, can't remember the
    name of it but it's one of Mike's favorites. We might also have some
    champagne if there is any left!
    
    Kathy
    

    I am sure that I am not the only one who has been touched by this note
    so far.  I havn't been home (Hawaii - don't ask why Canada over Hawaii,
    thats a long story), for 4 X-Mas's.  This will be my 5th X-Mas away
    from home.  
    
    The traditional X-Mas I grew up with was not white but green.  
    Every X-Mas eve we (sis,mom,dad & I) would go over to an uncles house
    for dinner and desert (always a big chocolate cake and a grasshopper
    pie).  
    
    There was a special addition to this night for all the kids at my uncles
    house.  On the tree there would be a X-Mas card for every kid (and the
    adults).  Attached to this card was the beginning of a very long line
    of ribbon.  The ribbon streatched throughout the house and sometimes
    outside and around a tree.  Each kid had to find his card and ribbon
    then follow it till they got to the end where there present was.
    
    This year I will incorporate this ribbon journey tradition with my 
    husbands nieces and nephews.  Ofcourse I wont be putting the ribbon 
    outside around a tree (Parents house is in Cape Breton,Canada) because
    of the cold.  There are lots of angles and hidding places within the 
    house for the kids to journey through.  Sort of like a treasure hunt.
    
    Have a Happy and fun X-mas.  Tradition, no matter what you do should
    focus back on the family.  Just spending time together is a special
    event for many people.      MERRY CHRISTMAS
    
    JOAN...   
           

    At first I thought we didn't have any traditions of our own but we
    have a lot of traditions that happen during the season. 
    
    We have an advent calendar that is shaped like a house and the doors
    and windows are filled in with blocks of numbers. Each day you turn
    over a block to reveal a piece of the scene in the window or door. As
    a kid our advent calendar was a wall hanging with a Christmas tree and
    underneath were pockets with miniature ornaments that went on the tree.
    In the pocket for the 24th was the star.
    
    Since I've been married we try to make a trek up to Frankenmuth, MI
    (home of the largest Christmas store in the world) They really do it
    up for Christmas. This year we took my grandmother and our 2.75 year old
    for the first time.
    
    After Christmas we take in a movie as a family. Last year we left our
    daughter making a snowman with grandpa, this year I'm really excited.
    She wants to see Beauty and the Beast and I really think she will be
    able to sit through it.
    
    I could go on and on like picking out the Christmas tree, the rituals
    involved with how we decorate it, etc.
    
    I like the idea of adding a Christmas day walk to the list, we will
    be at my in-laws, maybe I can talk them all into a caroling walk.
    
    

    We always decorated our tree Christmas Eve.  There was a special
    ornament (a very battered paper and glitter rocking horse) which was
    always the first ornament on the tree, in a special place, and then the
    last off.  My mother made tomato soup and green and red popcorn, done
    with food coloring, for supper.  
    
    Christmas morning was getting up early, opening presents, in some
    order, then breakfast.  No special food here.  Christmas afternoon
    could tend to be a dead time.  We filled it with the family gift, a
    jigsaw puzzle which consumed the dining room table.  The challenge was
    to finish it before dinner had to be served. 
    
    On the issue of what's in the stockings, I definitely agree with the
    tangerine in the toe group, plus gold coins, plus nuts.  There would be
    small gifts but it tended more to fruit and nuts and candy than
    anything else.  

    Agreed on the gold coins.  The chocolate and the toothbrush kind of
    cancel each other out, don't they?  :-0  :-)
    
    I forgot that we usually have Jordan almonds at Christmas (why never
    any other time?), and it wouldn't be the holidays without ribbon candy.
    
    Also, Alex doesn't know this, but I happen to know that Santa LOVES
    spiked eggnog!
    
    Leslie

    I've loved reading the responses to this note.  It's gotten me to think
    back over my childhood Christmas and the many fond memories.
    
    Our traditions consisted of church on Christmas Eve.  When we returned
    home, everyone put on their p.j.s, we turned on Christmas music and
    made a big batch of popcorn.  After that, we hung stockings, left
    cookies and milk for Santa and then it was off to bed.
    
    Christmas morning was always exciting.  We would take turns trying to
    convince Mom & Dad that it was time to get up.  We would also creep
    very quietly past their bedroom door to try to peek down the stairs
    into the living room to see how many presents Santa had brought.  This
    usually consisted of one of us laying on our bellies over the first few
    stairs while the other two held your feet.
    
    Once Mom & Dad were awake, Dad would go downstairs to light the tree. 
    We would open our stockings while Mom made coffee & hot chocolate and
    put the cinnamon rolls in the oven to heat.  Then we tore into the
    presents.
    
    The stockings always contained oranges, red delicious apples, candy
    canes and small gifts.
    
    After my grandfather died, my grandmother started sleeping over at our
    house Christmas Eve so she could watch us open our presents.
    
    This is the first year hubby, Cory & I will spend at our home for
    Christmas.  I'm trying to convince my Mom & Dad to spend Christmas at
    our house (my mom has never spent a Christmas away from her house).  I
    really hope they can come !
                                                                

    
    I'll add mine....
    
    Christmas Eve we exchange Christmas Ornaments to each other and
    put them on the tree.  Drink egg nog and have Oyster Stew and
    crackers and cheese.  After dinner we bake our Christmas desserts
    (Whoopie Pies & Pumpkin Pie & Chocolate Cheesecake)...and maybe
    enjoy a few drinks...8*)
    
    Christmas morning, we open stockings and then make homemade donuts
    and pig out....after that we open all the gifts.
    Usually about noon, we indulge in a little eggnog and have
    dinner at 3 (Prime Rib, Yorkshire Pudding, etc.).
    
    That's our basic holiday...sometimes it varies depending on if
    we go to relatives or not....we've gotten so that we like 'our'
    time together at home and spend New years at relatives.  I always told
    myself that I would make my home come first and visit relatives
    separately....I always remember as a kid, opening out presents
    and packing up to drive over to grandmas...never getting to enjoy
    the stuff we 'really' liked....
    
    Hope everyone one has a happy one!
    
    Kristen
    

Our Christmas traditions have changed quite a bit of the years.
I think we are still in the midst of change.

When I was very young, we would go my Uncle's for Christmas Eve
and all of my Dad's family would be there.  I think we may have
brought my other grandmother along too.  I can remember one time
when we heard bells outside, and then, wonder of wonders, there
was Santa Claus in person.  I think I was a bit shy with Santa.  
Now, I wonder which of the grown-ups played Santa that year.

After that we moved too far away to join the Jones extended family
celebrations, and we began the family traditions that are the ones
that I think of when I remember Christmas.

First we did a lot of baking before Christmas.  Dad would make 
candy.  I can remember stupidly sneaking a little taste of the 
boiling liquid and burning my finger badly when I was about twelve
once.  When we, my 3 sisters and I, were young Mom would bake a 
batch of sugar cookies cut with cookie-cutters in the shapes
bell, star, Christmas tree, and Santa Claus.  We would all get
seated at the kitchen table with aprons 'round our necks, the
undecorated cookies and bowls of different colored frosting, and
various decorator type things - little silver balls, chocolate
sprinkles, red and green crystal sugar.  We had great fun and usually
made a tremendous mess in the process.  When we got older we got
to actually make the cookies too.

We usually made a family expedition to cut find and cut a Christmas
tree.  When we lived in New York we went to the Fish & Game club 
that my Dad belonged to, and made a day of it.  First get the tree,
then come back to the club house where there would be a fire in the
fire place, warm up a little, then go sledding down the hill out front.
There was a small pond out front at the bottom of the hill that would
be frozen solid and we always try to get all the way accross the pond
in those little dish-type sleds, we called them flying saucers.  The
few years we lived in Texas we weren't able to cut our own tree, but
we still made a family expedition to find the perfect tree.

Another thing we often did was, about the week before Christmas or so,
we'd all bundle into the car to go look at all the Christmas lights in
the neighborhoods around us.  When we were still little, this was 
usually done with us in our pajamas under our coats, and a big thing of
Jiffy Pop popcorn.

Christmas Eve we would go to the candle-light service at church.  Singing
Silent night outside the church with our candles lit was always a
favorite part of the evening for me.  Then we'd come back to the house,
light a fire in the fireplace, get out the punch bowl and fill it up
with eggnog, and eat Christmas cookies, and Swedish Christmas cake.
The cookies varied from year to year, but always included the sugar cookies
we'd decorated and date-nut pinwheel cookies.  We each opened up one 
gift Christmas Eve, usually a gift from a grand-parent.

Christmas morning the rule was wait for everyone to wake up before you
can go down or out (depending on the house we were living in) to the 
living room where the tree was.  I usually was awake at 3:00 AM.  By
5:00 I could hardly stand it, and I'd sneak around to my sister's beds
and quietly whisper their names until they woke up.  Then we'd go to
Mom and Dad's room and tell them we were all awake.  They'd get up and
we run to the living room.  At some point along the way, we stopped 
opening gifts up in a chaotic mad rush and began opening them one at a
time so everyone could see.  Made the gift opening last a longer.
Breakfast was usually a buffet - help yourself sort of thing while 
present opening was going on.  

The rest of the day we'd lounge in front of the fire with our new gifts,
play any board games that someone had gotten, maybe go for a walk, or
play outside - especially if there was new snow.  There was really never 
any set thing except that we would call the grandparents, and everyone 
would take turns talking to them.  Christmas dinner was always late 
afternoon 4 ish, and we usually had roast beef.  

Then there came a few years when my Mom's mother would suffer a serious
health calamity right before Christmas (usually a week or two after getting
the flu shot when it became the thing to give elderly people flu shots), and 
either my Mom or both my parents would rush out to Wisconsin, so Christmas 
would be early or late, and traditions would pretty much go out the door.
There were about 4 or 5 years in a row like this.

When we got older, my sisters and I would always get together with Mom to
do some special Christmas activity before Christmas.  One year we went to
the Parker House in Boston for their buffet and then went to the Handel &
Hayden Society's performance of the Messiah.

Now, there is some bit of the old traditions still there, but from year to
year things vary quite a bit.  My sister Jean will be staying in Florida
this year with her fiance Ron.  My sister Susan has not been with us for
Christmas in a long time.  She's out in Indianna with her two boys.  While
she was married, she and her husband never had enough money to make the 
trip back here except maybe once or twice, and now it's even tougher.
Every other year my step-children spend Christmas with us.  I started the
Christmas sugar cookie tradition with them last year, and though we started
one gift at a time, it proved to be impossible to keep the kids excelerating
to the chaotic rush of opening their gifts all at once, all at the same 
time.  My sister Carolyn and her husband and two-year old are still in the
area, so we're getting together with them and my parents before Christmas 
to go on a Christmas light expedition at LaSalle Shrine - I've never actually
been there so not sure what is in store.  My parents are re-tired now, and
have put their house on the market with the idea of getting one of those
fifth-wheel type things and becoming nomads.  So I guess Christmas will
shift to either our house or Carolyn's once their home sells.  It will really
mark the end of an era.  My husband & make the expedition to cut our own
Christmas tree, and next week we're going to drive around and look at the 
lights in the neighborhoods around us.  I think I'll make some popcorn :-).

I find as I get older that traditions sometime grow bitter-sweet.  Times
can be happy, yet there has been so much change that memories are tinged 
with a little bit of, um, not melancholy, I can't quite think of the word.

I've enjoyed reading about everyone's traditions though.  And I really think
that traditions help a family.  Though my husband & I will have a tough time
building traditions for the children on an every other year basis, I hope
to leave them with some good memories, and perhaps traditions to carry on
with their own children someday.

Leslie

PS.  Merry Christmas !

    Getting ready for Chrsistmas, we put a lot of effort into
    shopping.  Usually we all go out together at least once, have
    dinner during or dessert after shopping.  We used to do this in my
    family even when we had very little money; it didn't seem like
    Christmas without stopping at the 4-Bs restaurant for pecan pie
    and hot chocolate.  (A real splurge for us.) 

    We don't just do the ties and buy-all-the-toys-on-the-list
    business, we try to really think what each other would like.  The
    kids' lists are only part of what we take into account 'cause
    we've found that that the lists often reflect more what the last
    ads they saw on TV said than what they really want and would enjoy
    playing with.  For instance, Steven didn't put anything about
    crayons, paints, or other art supplies on his list, but in the
    middle of January the paints will be out and the fancy toys will
    be in a corner. 

    Christmas eve we usually play games and listen to Christmas music
    on the radio.  We especially like it when we can find a station
    that's broadcasting Lorne Green reading "Gift of the Magi" or the
    radio version of "Miracle on 34th Street."  We have chips,
    California dip, and hot chocolate.

    Sunday morning we get up and get going -- the kids have to wait
    until Mom and Dad get dressed and make their coffee, and we all
    have to wait until everybody's up.  (Sleeping in is allowed,
    though in practice if the baby's up, neither parents nor the older
    kids are  going to get much extra sleep.)  I start a fire in the
    fireplace, and if I'm feeling very ambitious, I'll make muffins or
    cranberry bread while I'm waiting. 

    The kids distribute the presents.  We open them one at a time.  We
    generally stop to assemble, try on, and play with things as we go. 
    It really adds to the pleasure of giving when you get to see the
    smiles when the other person sees something they really
    appreciate.  I either write down or save the tags from the gifts
    from the relatives so we know who to thank for what.  (All right,
    most years I forget.  But I try to do it!)

    After we clean up, Neil and I usually take a walk while the kids
    play with their toys.  Then we might watch some football or put
    some music on the stereo and talk or play a board game.  I usually
    cook up a very fancy meal (beef Wellington, or roast beef and
    Yorkshire pudding, with marinated mushrooms, maybe broiled
    tomatoes or scalloped corn, onion bread, clam chowder), and a
    friend of ours comes over -- sometimes more than one friend.  We
    chat over wine or champagne and nibbles, then eat, then chat some
    more, and then have dessert, again something fancy.  And there's
    fruitcake and whatever else I've baked ahead of time.

    All very low key and mellow.

    --bonnie

    I haven't finished reading all of these yet, but......
    
    Nothing is opened until Christmas morning.  Everyone goes to bed with a
    stuffed animal, and you may not leave your bed to get Mom and Dad until
    you can see the animal's eyes without turning the lights on.  (Older
    children get brown bears with black eyes :-} )
    
    Stockings get emptied immediately, everyone all at once, for both
    adults and kids.  My parents loved it the year we first insisted that
    *they* had to have stockings up too.  (The first Christmas that I knew
    Santa was really my folks, they had me help fill my sister's stockings. 
    It made me feel important and brought me a deeper understanding of the
    Santa-spirit).
    
    Then breakfast.
    
    Then gifts from under the tree.  Round robin, one at a time opening. 
    Youngest person capable of choosing goes first, and inverse age is the
    order.  You may choose to either get or give a package - and it is
    amazing how young kids can be when they start to prefer to give :-).
    
    Alison

    Growing up I can remember going to my grandmothers house on Christmas
    Eve and opening gifts from Aunts/Uncles/Cousins, then it was home to
    get ready for bed.  We always got a new pair of PJ's, bathrobe and
    slippers from my grandmother, so of course we had to wear them.  Then
    Christmas morning, whomever was up first would wake the other.  We
    would sneak downstairs and look and shake all the packages, then try to
    sneak back to bed, but the parents were already up waiting at the top
    of the stairs.  Would open presents, have breakfast, off to church then
    visit relatives for the entire day.
    
    Now that I'm a mother, we have a similar tradition.  Christmas Eve is
    spent with my parents and siblings opening gifts, eating, drinking,
    talking, etc.  Usually my son will fall asleep on my mothers bed. 
    Around 10PM we leave to put him to bed and give him about 1/2 hour to
    make sure he has gone back to sleep  then we begin brining presents
    out.  Christmas Morning, he is not allowed downstairs until he wakes us
    up, then Daddy goes downstairs to plug in the tree and make sure that
    Santa still isn't there.  Once he gives the OK, then I come down and
    start the coffee and it's off to the living room to open the gifts.  We
    stay home most of the day until around 3:30PM, when we go to my
    husbands side of the family.  Since he has a large family, each year
    its a different year to have it at someones house.  When we go, we each
    bring a dish, we eat then open presents and watch the kids play and
    enjoy their toys until it's time to go home to bed.
    
    Cheryl
    

    Our Christmas "season" starts the day after Thanksgiving.  My mom and I
    were always so anxious for Christmas but we weren't allowed to start
    decorating until Thanksgiving was over.  So Friday afterwards we picked
    out a tree (tagged it to be cut later, though now I have artificial so
    it goes up that day), got out decorations, and started playing
    Christmas music.
    
    We had the advent season.  We always had a family advent ritual in
    addition to the church ritual.  Each week we would read scripture and
    light the next advent candle.  We also each (kids) wrote our wish list
    for relatives, family, and Santa.
    
    Christmas Eve we went to the candellight service.  It was always so
    touching.  Then we went to the meditation, which was also very solemn. 
    Afterwards we would drive around for an hour or two and view lights. 
    THen off to bed early so tomorrow arrived sooner!  I think we left out
    a snack for Santa too.
    
    Christmas morning the first one up woke up the others, then mom and
    dad.  We weren't allowed in the den until dad had made coffee, lit the
    fire, and gotten the camera ready.  Then we knocked each other down to
    get in there, and he took each of our picture as we entered.  Santa's
    gifts were left out, unwrapped.  We played those, looked in our
    stocking, and unwrapped presents.  Then breakfast of some kind.
    
    We would all lay our gifts out neatly on the bed.  All of our
    grandparents, cousins, aunts/uncles, etc. came over for Christmas
    dinner at around 2PM.  They got a tour of our rooms and got to view our
    gifts (even parents had theirs on the bed).
    
    After dinner I would go out riding my horse through the neighborhood,
    with jingles attached.  It was great fun when it snowed!
    
    We have tried to keep the same traditions for the kids, though we may
    add a few here and there.
    
    Happy Holidays!
    Kristen

The way I remember Christmas Eve was like this.  My parents would put us to
bed around 10:00 - 10:30 ...While friends/family were over having a
get together and drinks.  Then after the company finally left the house
it had to be around 2 or 3 in the am. sometimes.  -------

My parents would put out the milk/cookies/carrott sticks all for santa
and his raindeers.   I think of it now how funny it was, because my mother
and father also used to throw a few of the big presents in the snow on the
front lawn.  And also leave the front door wide open !!!!

Then my mother and father would come to the bedroom doors flick on all the
lights in the house, have the movie camera going with all 6 lights on the
camera and yell out  QUICK HURRY UP SANTA JUST CAME YOU JUST 
MISSED HIM HE JUST WENT UP ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE HILL TO THE NEXT HOUSE.
I also wanted to add that the funny part was when my dad was done with the
movie camera we would all be standing around seeing stars for about an hour and
then he would start yelling "MARION I LEFT THE G...D... CAP ON THE MOVIE
CAMERA." SO THERE'S NO FILM TO BE SEEN THIS YEAR !!!! We couldn't stop 
laughing ha ha ha....

We used to always believe what they said and then run outside in our pajamas
and get the ones off the front lawn that he left !!  

Then we would stay up opening gifts for a few hours, mom would make breakfast
and then we would go back to bed for awhile and get up around 10:00 or 11:00.

I asked my husband to start doing this but he says I'm nuts !  Our daughter
is only 3 years old.  He said she;ll never go back to bed once she wakes up.
So I guess we'll try it next year.

Have a great Christmas !!

Sandy

    Sandy that is a riot.  I think your parents had an unusual sense
    of humor!
    	Linda

    I agree that Sandy's folks were great!  
    
    I'm half Italian and Christmas Eve is the more special day in our
    house.  We would always go to my Grandma Mangieri's for dinner.  (This
    year she's 80 and is making dinner for 38 of us! Of course, we now
    help.)
    
    Dinner consists of about 8 different fish dishes and some special side
    dishes.  Christmas cookies for dessert.
    
    My family would leave about 9:00 or so, and pile in the car for the
    hour ride home.  With six kids, plus the folks in the car, it was
    pretty crowded.  As we got older we would have to take two
    cars...obviously, if we required car seats when we were younger then we
    would have always needed two cars.  We would sing Christmas carols and
    my Dad would always spot Santa on the way.
    
    When we had Santa believers, we would open our presents on Christmas
    morning.  As we got older, we opened all of them right after midnight
    Mass.  My Mom passes them out and we open them in inverse order of our
    ages, one at a time.  Then my parents open their gifts. 
    
    On Christmas morning we have a huge brunch with family friends.  In the
    afternoon we go to visit my Dad's Mom.
    
    Christmas day dinner's tradition was that there was no tradition.  Some
    years we would have a cold buffet, some we would have homemade ravioli,
    sometimes a turkey.  
    
    Now that we have started on the next generation, things are a little
    more crowded in my parents house.   There will be 18 of us there this
    year.  
    
    judy
    

For those families that want to celebrate Christmas as a religious festival
let me recommend a 10 year old evolved tradition what works in my household 
of two boys (12 and 10) and a girl (7).
   
ADVENT
   
    During this time I prepare the soul mood for Christmas.  Rather than
    succombing to the pressures of sending mass mailing of cards and buying 
    lots of presents I've tried to prepare for a deep religious experience of
    celebrating the birth of God as Man.  This celebration I prepare for during
    Advent.  There are 4 Sundays of Advent.  We develop each advent in relation
    to the 4 kingdoms of nature, for Christ came not only for mankind, but also
    for the whole Earth.  I decorate a clay Advent wreathe that holds four 
    candles, one for each Sunday.  At mealtime, the appropriate number of Advent
    candles are lit.  
   
First Advent Sunday (minerals)
                
    Construct a moss garden on a table (put plastic down first with raised borders
    so that the moss can be watered).  Each day the coming week add crystals
    and gnome dolls (we make them using small pine cones and cloth hats).  Next
    to the moss garden is placed a creche in the form of a stable.  At dinner
    mealtime we light one candle in the wreathe.  Then, after dinner and by a warm 
    fire, we sing advent carols near the moss garden so that the additions of the 
    day to it will be noticed.
   
Second Advent Sunday (plants)
                             
    Now I add to the moss garden dried red berries, gnome size pine trees, carved 
    items, birch bark, etc each night.  As before we light a candle, now two, at 
    supper mealtime. On this Advent week we put up the Christmas tree and decorate 
    it some every night.
   
Third Advent Sunday (animals)
   
    Now come sheep dolls (made simply from sheep's wool) into the stable and
    onto the moss garden.  Wooden animals I also use.  I  put lots of
    them in the stable, wooden horses, cows, birds in the rafters, etcetera.
   
Fourth Advent Sunday (Man)

    This week I add shepherds.  These are dolls.  I also put out some of the
    presents from relatives under the tree.  After dinner, I open cards that came 
    that day and sing carols as before.  As the week progresses towards Christmas, 
    we read from Luke at night.  We have two dolls representing Joseph and Mary 
    and a donkey travelling (they move at night) towards the stable.
   
Christmas Morning (Heaven and Earth)

    Yes there are presents under the tree, but with the preparation done so
    far the children will have an interest in the religious meaning.  That night 
    the dolls Mary and Joseph arrived at the stable with the shepherds and all
    the animals and gnomes and in a manger a little doll for Jesus.  We sign
    carols, then have breakfast.  Not till after this do we go to open the 
    presents.  I usually say something about how the shepherds gave presents so 
    in honor of them we give to one another.
   
After Christmas (12 Holy Nights)
   
    We have 3 King dolls now approach each night the stable arriving on Jan
    6th.  Each night in between we continue to sing carols and now read from
    Matthew.

Local folk in Wilton NH yearly present an set of plays based on ancient 
traditions that were handed down over generations - a part in the play was 
often passed on from father to son - until WWI when many died and these 
traditions faded.  Someone named Oberhuver recorded one of these and this 
script is used for a Shepherd's Play and a King's play.  These are part of 
the tradition now.

- andrew

 

    We always leave cookies & eggnog for Santa and a carrott for Rudolph on
    Xmas Eve.  Before we had children we went to midnight service - I won't
    keep the kids up that late.  With the children, we always visit the
    great-grandmothers on Xmas Eve.  Once we are home, we turn on the Xmas
    tree lights (no others) sit by the tree and read the verses in the
    Bible of the birth of Jesus.  Xmas morning we open stockings first,
    then
    presents - one person, one gift at a time.  Then we have home-made
    Torque  (Canadien pork pie, not sure of the spelling) and eggs for
    breakfast.  Since the grandchildren, we have Xmas dinner at our home
    with both sets of grandparents.  
    We also, put a new xmas ornament on the tree every year, over and above
    the ones our children have made that year.
    
    Kathy
    

We start the Christmas season the day after Thanksgiving.  I set up the creche
on top of the tv and tell my kids the Christmas story.  The next few days
I start decorating the house.  My mother always gives my boys an advent
calendar to open.  We light the advent candles every Sunday.

On Christmas Eve we make a birthday cake.  I ask my boys (ages 6 1/2 and 4)
what type of cake they would like to make.   Later that night they get a new
Christmas ornament to place on the tree and new PJs to wear to bed.  (Bedtime
is whenever they get tired -- we feel the later they go to bed the later they
will get up in the morning -- unfortunately that doesn't always work since 
they are so excited).

Christmas morning we are up early (but no earlier than 6am).  Before we open
our presents I make coffee/hot chocolate, turn on the tree lights,
turn on the tv (yes tv) to listen to Christmas music and watch the Yule log
burn (we have a station that plays Christmas music and has a picture of a 
fireplace with logs burning -- it's kind of a joke in our house that has turned 
into a tradition), then we open presents.  Presents from mommy and daddy are
wrapped and Santa's are not.  After all presents are open, and the stockings 
have been emptied the boys play with there favorite toys and wait for my
parents to come over.  We open more presents and breakfast/brunch is
around 10:30/11:00. 

Dinner is around 4:00.  For dessert we have the birthday cake we made
the day before to celebrate Jesus' birth.  We sing happy birthday to him and 
the boys get to blow out a candle (I place two candles on the cake so each can
blow out a candle).  

Stocking stuffers traditions:
  - underwear    
  - chocolate coin candies
  - toothbrush
  - movie/cartoon video (didn't have this when I was a kid)

Nancy

       On Christmas Eve we have a nice bottle of wine and shrimp after the
    three boys are in bed and Santa has delivered the gifts. We feel
    that this time on Christmas Eve is for the adults.
    
       If we've gotten the kids a stuffed animal we have Santa place it
    at the kids place at the table. We eat breakfast before any gifts
    can be opened.
    
       I've always felt that Christmas finished too early once the kids
    were done opening their gifts. So we started the practive about twelve
    years ago ofsaving/ hiding one gift for the day after Christmas. The
    kids expect the gift but they act like it's Christmas again. They run
    into the room once they know we're awake and try to determine where the
    gifts are placed.
    

    
    My parents always involved my two sisters and myself in a family
    tradition which up until a few years ago I had thought was common
    amongst all families, but now realise it was their own invention just
    for us.  As well as writing off to Santa Claus at the North Pole (I'm in 
    the UK, so not sure if this happens in the USA) to tell Santa what presents
    we would like to receive, every Christmas Eve my Dad would always have each
    of us shout a message up the chimney to Santa Claus to tell him what we'd 
    like to find in our Christmas Stockings!  That was in the days when they 
    had open fires and we could actually bend our necks and look right up the 
    chimney to the stars!  It was a lovely tradition and seemed really magical
    to us.
    
    Christmas Eve Mum would prepare the turkey, with three little pairs of 
    helping hands, then before we went to bed, we'd all go out in the
    garden and look up into the heavens to see if we could see Santa riding
    across the sky in his sleigh.   We'd also leave the mince pies and beer 
    out for Mr Claus and apples for his reindeer.  We'd all be so excited we'd
    sit up in our beds looking out of the window at the stars, hoping 
    desperately so catch a glimpse of that famous outline flying across the
    night sky!  Year after year we'd vow to stay awake and catch Santa
    coming down the chimney but, of course, we never ever managed it!
       
    I'll remember these traditions forever - they were just so special and
    magical.  I now have a little one-year-old myself, so I hope to carry 
    on those personal traditions for Rosie when she's a bit bigger!
    
    A peaceful Christmas & 1992 to you all!
    
    Ali

    I thought you may be interested to know that I was sharing some of the
    things mentioned in this note with my husband the other day.  I then
    asked him what kid of traditions his family had during the Christmas
    season.  He than proceeded to tell me that he never had Christmas when
    he was a kid.  He said there were a couple of years that he received a
    gift, but not many.  He never had a tree and didn't even understand
    what stockings were all about.  

    I have known this man for almost 7 years and thought I knew him inside
    out, but until that moment I didn't know any of this about him.  He had 
    never talked about it before.  He told me the first REAL Christmas he 
    ever had, was the first Christmas he spent with my family.  He said it
    is very important to him that we have traditions as a family, especially 
    since Stephen is now part of our family. 

    I bought him a stocking(all of us actually) and will make it a tradition 
    in our family beginning this year.  This will be the first stocking he 
    has ever had.

    More than ever, I realize that those of us that can share family
    traditions and memories are by far very lucky.  Up until our
    conversation that evening, I thought everyones family had special
    things they did together.  I found out that isn't necessarily true.
    
    Kathy

    
    
    
    
    Both my parents are Lutheran, and christmas for us is still very
    german: we Mom bakes stollen and we, like cheryl participate in
    various german festivities:
 
>>>Our German au paires would usually organise something for St. Nikolaus where 
>>the children leave their shoes out on December 6th and get them filled with
>>candies.
    
    We used to do that as kids too - I always tease mom on the 6th now 
    saying that I will come over and put my boot out (St.Nikolaus only
    leaves sweets in the boots/shoes of good children and coal in the
    footware of the bad).
    
>>We light a new candle on the advent's wreath each of the four Sunday's before
>>Christmas.
    
    Yup, we did too, and its nice to be there (which is not all that often
    anymore) when mom lights the candles now.
    
    Now that I am married, our traditions have expanded (mine, anyway).
    
    on the 24th, in the evening, we have our Christmas turkey with all
    the wonders that go with it (usually potato dumplings and red cabbage
    are included) and spend a good time eating, just the family. (when I
    was younger my father's brother and his wife always spent the evening
    with us, as part of the family - now they've gone back to Europe and
    are missing from our celebration). 
    
    After dinner we move to the livingroom and open presents. Back to the 
    dining area for dessert (coffee, stollen and cookies). 
    
    Christmas day usually has a brunch involved, but Alan and I do not
    stay for the day, as our next stop is his family. Up until the time
    his parents moved so far away (14 hours by train), we'd go to their
    place (1.5 hours drive across the city of Montreal) open presents and 
    then go to his mother's sister's place for the Christmas dinner (more
    turkey, but with different side dishes). Now we just go straight to
    Aunt Shirley's and spend a fine time there with Alan's family.
    
    I find the mixed traditions great since we can see and please everyone,
    with zero adjustment necessary to make everyone happy. I tease Alan
    about being practical and marrying into Germans for that reason --
    he said it would be more difficult if he didn't like turkey so much! 
    8-) 8-)
    
    Monica

We always have a stollen, usually baked by my sister-in-law with real
marzipan filling.  And our nephew usually sends us Aachener printen, a kind
of gingerbread covered with dark chocolate studded with crunchy caramel bits.

re .-1  Did you ever REALLY get coals in your shoes on Nikolaus??  We've
often threatened but never did it.

And regarding stockings, a very un-German custom.  My sister made stockings
for each of the boys for their first Christmas.  One year I picked up a 
personalized stocking which says "Papa" which the boys gave their father for
Christmas.  That left only me.  Then one year an au-paire gave me a burlap
Santa bag for Christmas so now I have a Christmas "bag" instead of a stocking!

We buy "things" (not necessarily ornaments) on all of our travels and hang them
on our tree at Christmas to remind us of all our wonderful travels.  We even
have shintu bells and chinese dragons.

Cheryl

    >  My sister made stockings for each of the boys for their first 
    > Christmas.  One year I picked up a personalized stocking which says 
    > "Papa" which the boys gave their father for Christmas.  That left only 
    > me.  Then one year an au-paire gave me a burlap Santa bag for Christmas 
    > so now I have a Christmas "bag" instead of a stocking!
    
    Are we the only family who hangs their *real stockings*?  We use our
    knee socks, though there's always a lot of kidding around about hanging
    tights, pantyhose, etc.
    
    Leslie
                                                  

    RE: .36
    My husband also NEVER had a Christmas or any kind when he was growing
    up.  He came from a family of one brother and two sisters and the
    original Mrs. Clean for a mother.
    
    They never had a tree because it made a mess.  They never had toys
    because they made a mess, etc.
    
    I couldn't believe it when he told me that he had never had a Christmas
    until we were married.
    
    They didn't even have a big dinner on Xmas.  His mother did bake
    cookies a couple of times that he can remember.
    
    RE: .40
    
    We also use regular stockings not store bought or especially made ones. 
    When all the children were smaller, I would take them on a hunt for the
    biggest stockings we could find in the house -- of course they were
    always Daddy's hunting socks, and he loved having them stuffed out of shape
    every year :.)
    
    Phyllis
     

    At some point during the holiday season, one of us re-enacts
    "The Night the Christmas Tree Fell Over on Dad."  :-)
    
    

    Not Chistmas morning per se, but this is getting to be an annual
    Christmas tradition.  Last night, as we have annually for 4 years now
    we went to Whipples Christmas Wonderland.  It's exit 94 off of route
    395 in Ballouville CT.  Don't let the address throw you, it's under 20
    minutes from where we live (south Oxford) and probably no more than a
    half hour from Worcester.
    
    How can I describe it?  In a word-wonderful!  It's the closest thing to
    a sampling of Disneyworld you're going to get up north.  It's also
    totally free!  Animated figures in these glass front boxes, Santa and
    Mrs. Clause, (they give each child a little box of candy) Two brass
    quartets, lights, quite literally by the thousands.
    
    It was featured on the 11pm news on WBZ-tv last night, a quick 2-minute
    blip, which reallly didn't do it justice.  Take a video camera if you
    have one, definitely take still photos.  Do be prepared for long lines
    waiting to park, which is free, (but we did see some "neigbors" trying
    to make a buck on parking by charging, this really disturbed me!) 
    Dress warmly, you should be prepared for good wait in line, wear warm
    footwear, my feet are still defrosting!  
    
    Mr. Whipple, who owns Everlasting Memorials (it's a gravemarker
    business) does this in his words "because I see sad faces all year, I
    want to see happy faces" he also has done this as a memorial to his
    step-son who was killed 20 years ago.  Mr and Mrs. Whipple can always
    be seen roaming among the crowds.
    
    It's open every year from about Dec 1 and this year will close on Jan
    5, and Santa is there until Chistmas Eve.  Hours are 5 to 10.
    
    Do I sound excites, yes I am!
    
    To everyone.....Have wonderful, safe, and joyous Christmas and Holiday
    season!
    
    Lyn