Conference moira::parenting_v3

My advice is to not tell anyone the names you have chosen until after the
baby is born and named.  People will be a lot less likely to react
negatively (at least to your face).

					Steve

    
    In some instances, I really don't think that it's rude to say that
    you don't like a particular name.   If I were to ask someone "We're 
    thinking of naming the baby Broomhilda, what do you think?", I would 
    expect an honest answer.   Sometimes, it's important to see people's
    reactions to a name as it _might_ give an indicator of the response 
    or level of teasing that the child will get; particularly on a name
    you're not too sure about.
    
    On the other hand, if someone (hypothetically - I'm not expecting!) asked 
    me "What are you planning to name the baby?" and I responded "Broomhilda 
    or Ziegfried", I'd be a bit upset if they said "Ugggh" since I hadn't
    solicited opinions.   If I really don't like a name that someone has
    selected but didn't ask me my opinion, I try to say something like
    "I think Victoria sounds great with your last name, what do you think?"  
    
    I think Steve's advice in .1 is best in this case; just keep it to 
    yourself until after the birth.   People (especially relatives) will
    love the baby regardless of its name.
    
    Carol
    
    P.S.  I rather like Max, great choice, especially with your long last
    name.  (Prefer it over Klint :-)!

    
    A friend of mine and her husband just had a baby 2 mosths ago, and they
    did just what .1 suggested.  It was a bit hard for some of us to adjust
    to not asking the old question "so, thought of any names yet?", and in
    fact I think I slipped a couple of times...  but..it was their choice.
    
    I agree with Carole though on one point...I like seeing the responses
    (although I try not to let the negative ones get to me) of what people
    think of the names you picked. Gives you an idea of what kind of 
    reaction the name may get later on. 
    
    
    	Chris
    
    

    After discussing this with someone who is expecting, I'd say
    the decision IS totally up to the parents with the ONE stipulation
    that they understand that the child must live with this name. If it
    matters to you that your mother-in-law hates a name you've chosen,
    then choose something else, if it is important to you. If you don't
    care that "Auntie Jane's first husband had that name, and he was not
    a nice fellow" then that's YOUR decision. 
    
    Yes, EVERYBODY has an opinion about names chosen. I'd have a lot
    of trouble keeping my mouth shut about chosen names, because that
    is just the kind of person I am. The sister of a good friend of mine
    took a more daring attitude. She did in fact give bizzarre and 
    usual names mostly to tease the person who was asking the question.
    And she stuck with those names until Michael was born.
    
    Its up to you and who's opinion you value.
    
    Monica
    
    

    
    
    
    	I'm the person note number 1117.3 mentioned.  We did not care
    	what anyone thought of the names we had chosen, and we really
    	did not want anyones opinion on the names we liked.  What 
    	really drove me nuts was everyones suggestion, on what we should
    	name the baby.  But the bottom line is do what you feel comfortable
    	doing, it is your decision
    
    
    	Lisa

    You know what gets my goat? When I was pregnant I my husbands sister
    was also, she was due 1 months before me. I wanted to name my daughter 
    Amanda and I told her that way before my baby was born. Well, as fate
    would have it, she named her daughter Amanda!!! That really ticked me
    off. Alot of people say that I should have kept the name I chose, but I
    didn't think it was right to have two babies in the same family 1 month
    age difference with the same name.
    
    Oh, well, we ended up with Danielle, and we are happy with that!!!
    
    
    Sandy

    Oh, I think it's kinda fun to talk about names.  I myself wouldn't
    be offended over what another thought about my chosen names.
    
    Before my first born, I had Zacharia Zane, Jerimiah Jacob picked
    out for a boy.  Everyone thought I had lost my mind.  Then I had
    this fascination with the Wild West and outlaws, I loved the
    name...Jesse James.  But my husband thought the boy would get into
    to much trouble with a name like that.  So, our boy which by the
    way was my second born is good 'ole Daniel James.
    
    My first is a daughter.  I liked the name Tonya, after a girl I
    knew for only 2 days when I was 9 years old.  She and I were friends
    while our families were both staying at a hotel/barracks at Ft.
    Lewis, Washington.  Anyway, upon telling everyone that I wanted
    to name a girl baby, Tonya, my husband's family thought that the
    name should be for a black child.  (we lived in the deep South back
    then, and I guess they thought many black girls were named Tonya).
     I didn't care.  I liked the name.  My husband wanted her, Shannon
    Eileen, but I didn't care for long names.  (I know, at the beginning
    of my pregnancy, long names were all I could think of, silly me).
    
    So, Tonya it is.  And as far as my husband's family goes, I make
    sure that they remember to spell her name with an "O", not "A".
                                                                   

    I know what all of you are talking about.  When I was pregnant with my
    youngest son, my mother asked us what names we had picked out.  I liked
    Nicholas Aaron and my husband liked Evan Joseph.  Well, my mother
    disliked both.  Well my delivery day came and we had pretty much
    settled on Nicholas.  My husband left the hospital at 10:00pm and
    called me when he got home.  He decided on the way home that he didn't
    like that name.  
    
    So the next day when he and our older son came to see us.  We as a
    family decided on the baby's name.  They both like the first name Evan,
    but I didn't like Joseph.  So we took a list of names that we made when
    I was four months pregnant and started crossing off names.  After we
    finished the only name left was Scott.  So we compromised and named the
    baby EVAN SCOT ROBERTS.  IT WAS A TOUGH DECISION.  But together we got
    it settled. 
    
    Well, the only person who hated the name was my mother.  TOO BAD MOM. 
    But just about two weeks ago, she said to me "you know he really does
    look like and Evan".  I almost dropped my teeth.
    
    But as stated before, I think you should keep the names to yourself and
    tell everyone the names after the baby is born.
    
    Lillian
    

    I just wanted to mention my reaction when my sister announced she had
    chosen a name for her child, if it were a girl. (And she did have a
    girl)  She chose Fiona Alicia, which to me was a beautiful name and
    seems to flow almost musically.  My only fear was putting a name like
    that in front of a French sounding last name (Lemar), I wasn't the
    only one in the family that feared once she got to school she'd be
    nickenamed "Fifi".  Seems Fiona is a character in the musical
    Brigadoon, (I think) and my sister was particularly fond of it.  She
    said had she had another girl she wanted to name that one Bonnie Jean,
    the other character in the play.  She has had no other children, but we
    thought her thinking to be "unique".  (Alicia is her mother inlaw's
    name, we always just called her Alice.)
    
    Well Fiona is almost 12, my goodness has it been *that* long, and is
    still only called one name, Fiona!  Our fear were unfounded
    
    As for us when we were pregnant the first time we had chosen names for
    both boy and girl well in advance, of course this was our daughter who
    died in utero, but somewhere in labor I just had this overwhelming
    urge to "save" the names for our next child, so what had started out to
    be Christina Elizabeth, my grandmother's name and his mother's name,
    became Stacy Jean, for no other reason than it just "sounded nice".  
    I can't remember what we chose had it been a boy, I think it was going to 
    be Michael William or vice-versa, common family names on both sides but 
    at long last we did get our Andrew Jonathan, and the nickname AJ was 
    "stuck" on him long before he ever made his appearance, (like from the
    minute the amnio results were in) much to my protests.
    I really didn't like AJ, preferred Drew if there were to be a nickname,
    but still hate Andy even more!
    
    Lyn

    We had this to some extent too ...
    
    We like the name Rowena and intended to call our 2nd duaghter that
    until someone suggested the nickname that might result ...
    
      Weenie ... which is used also as an alternative to wiener,
                 frankfurter or Hotdog!
    
    So we panicked and found another name we both liked ... Hilary
    without any regrets.
    
    Number 3 came along and we started through the naming thing again
    and decided this time that we wouldn't be so swayed, and that if
    we were careful, we could "control" the nickname issue fairly well
    and so number 3 daughter is named Rowena.  As it happens the
    names fit well, and I couldn't imagine them the other way around!
    
    So go with your own feelings ... if you are happy with the name and
    you can feel satisfied that the child will be able to live with it
    without undue teasing or distress then by all means name the child
    as you choose ...  Bear in mind that for some reason some names
    are generally associated with certain "types" of people.
    
    I'd definitely draw the line at naming a boy Sue for example!  Or
    naming a girl Mabel (typecast as a cleaning lady in some areas!).
    
    Stuart

    My reaction to "we're thinking of calling the baby <whatever>" is that
    there's an implied question (otherwise they would have said "the baby
    will be named <whatever>").  If they're really *just thinking* and do
    not want that thinking to be disturbed by outside opinion, then I would
    hope they don't do their thinking out loud!
    
    One family I know has a very recognizeably Irish last name, and their
    daughter has a very German/very French combination for first/middle
    names.  Obviously, this doesn't bother some people, but I do think it's
    kinda too-bad to inflict a Heinz-57 handle on someone.
    
    The same family has another daughter whose first and middle names are
    Kara Lynn.  She goes by Kara, but I don't think her parents ever spoke
    her full name out loud, or they would have realized that they condemned
    her to correcting people away from "Carolyn" (another perfectly nice
    name, but NOT the same name!).
    
    Leslie
    
    Mea Culpa P.S.: It didn't occur to ME that I condemned Alex to the
    sing-songy response "My middle name is Middleton"....  <:-J  

    During the first part of my pregnancy, we were very enthusiastic on
    calling a son "Hanson" as this name was Alan's great uncle's as well as
    his great great grandfather's (whose mother was Susan Hanson, hence the
    name). 
    
    But we have a problem. Our family name is Barney (I use my maiden name
    of Fett at work), and so Alan felt he'd be condemning our child to
    having a last name as a first name and a first name as a last name
    (Alan thought it bad enough that he had had to go through his childhood
    with 2 'first' names!)
    
    I STILL like it, even though we changed our minds. Then, with us as
    with Lyn, when our son died in utero, we decided to 'save' the names we
    had and simply call him Daniel LeRoy, Daniel being a name that Alan is
    very fond of, and LeRoy being Alan's grandfather's name as Daniel looked
    a lot like his greatgrandfather.
    
    We tried to stick to names that would sound good in English as well
    as German, as much of my family is still in Europe. Many of my friends
    who have both French and English Canadian in their families have this
    multi-lingual stipulation well.
    
    Monica
    

    
    I've had similar problems with the names I picked out....
    
    Mom hates the girl (Sara Michelle..."she'll be an old maid") 
    and several people haven't liked the boy (Mitchell David)  
    I started to feel a little insecure after a while...one person 
    even said after I told her the boy's name ...."well there's 
    time to think of another name"...she asked me what the name was 
    and I didn't ask for her advice...I couldn't believe it.... 
    
    Sometimes I think people get so wrapped up in their own opinions they
    don't realize the full impact of what they say....
    
    I guess the old saying is true...you can't please everyone....
    
    Kristen
    

    Unless they show real reason why the name is impractical ...
    
    like Weenie really did make some sense .....
    
    I think often these fall into the same category as the pregnant
    woman is public property commentary ... people just don't think
    about what they really are saying.
    
    Often too, there's this thought that you haven't really decided on
    the name until it's on the birth certificate!  That doesn't make
    it right, but then it's often just carelessness!
    
    Stuart

    My first son is named Kyle (no connection) Raymond (my father's name). 
    My second is named Ryan (2nd choice when preg w/ 1st) Stewart
    (husband's father's name).  When my second was born, a friend visited
    me and asked what his name was.  When I told her she said "Oh, that's
    nice.  Don't you hate it when people use the same first initials for
    all their kids -- it gets so confusing!"  If my second was a girl, the
    name would have been Kelsey (my favorite girl's name for the last 20
    years!).
    
    Oh well!!
    -sandy
    

    My son's Godmother summed "middle" names up quite justly...
    
    "We give these children such beautiful middle names....How come we only
    get to use them when we're ANGRY at them??"
    
    ....just thinking!
    
    Or my poor sister, due to a misspelling on her birth certificate her
    name was (well she NEVER used her first name Sharon) but her name is
    Susan, but mother misspelled it as Susann, and all through life it was
    pronounced as Suzanne, and she really *hated* that.  As an adult it
    looks rather "sophistocated" when she sign her name "S. Susann...", It
    sort of got better as she got older I guess.
    
    Lyn
    (who is legally Linda, but hated being called Lindy-Lou so much as a
    kid I decided to change it a bit as an adult!)
    

There's a difference between this and the "pregnant woman is public property"
situation: you don't have to tell anyone what your name choices are, but it's
pretty obvious that a woman's pregnant.

    With our first, we had firmly decided on Jason, don't remember the
    middle name.  When he was born, one look at him took that name out the
    window, and he became Christopher (no reason) Daniel (husband's name). 
    He just LOOKED like a Christopher.  When we were pregnant w/ our
    second, we hada heck of a time finding a name.  I'd completely
    forgotten about choosing Jason for the first (though my husband
    reminded me when he was a few mos. old), and the only name that we
    could agree on was Jason Bradford (no reason).  Which has 2 twists to
    it ... when he was born he looked EXACTLY like Chris - not a "Jason" at
    all.  But we were so tired of arguing over names, we just stuck it on
    him anyway - he's grown into it. 
    On a humorous note, my husband's step-sister almost died when she heard
    the name .... her husband's name is Bradford, and they had already
    picked "Jason" for the name of their first-born son .... Oh well!  And
    I thought that would've been a fairly uncommon combo!
    
    We had to struggle NOT to name our children after family members
    because there's so many of them and didn't want to offend anyone ...
    but all the 'good' names were taken! (-;

Over here that is quite normal.  Marriages of mixed cultures often like to
reflect all their backgrounds in the names they give their children.

Whenmy first was born, my husband desperately wanted a boy named Dirk.  I had no
objections and he let me choose the middle name (which Germans seldom use) so
he became Dirk Christopher.  It was more difficult for our second.  We each
went through the name book and wrote down every name we liked, whether the
names were acceptable or not to the other.  Then we exchanged lists and
crossed out all names that were unacceptable.  Often names in one culture
don't work in another.  Then, with the ten or so names left, we each rated them
from 1 to ten and then discussed the top three.  In the end, we wanted
something that could be easily pronounced in all three cultures (English, 
French, and German).  So he was named Markus Allen.

My brother always wanted old family names (my family goes back to the early
1600s in the U.S.  He named one daughter Carrie Quincy.  We were all relieved
he never had a son.  He wanted to name him Shadrack Mellon.  With Chuck, you
can never tell if he's kidding.

ccb

    
    
    I had 2 names picked out as soon as I found out I was pregnant.
    For a boy, I like Nicholas but my husband "hated" it, fearing
    people would say, "Yo Nick!".  So we both agreed on Jordan for
    a boy.  For a girl, I liked Hannah.  My family and Brian's turned
    their nose up to that one in a big way.  
    
    My father's name is Hilary.  Hilary is a very common name for a
    boy over in England.  In the US, Hillary is common for a girl.
    I want to name (if it's a boy) the baby Jordan Hilary "Pelland" (my
    married name).
    If it's a girl, I really want my grandmother's name for her middle
    name because my grandmother means the world to me and this may
    be her 1st and only great-grandchild that she will see.  My
    grandmother's name is Genevieve.  That doesn't go with a whole
    lot.
    
    I've got 5 whole months to think about it.  I think I'm set
    on Jordan Hilary, no matter what my in-laws say.  Since I'm
    having so much  trouble naming a girl, watch me have a girl!
    
    Chris

Since most Americans don't use their middle name, it's a fairly safe place
to tuck away those obligatory traditional family names.  Aunt Bertha
may call your child "James Abednego," but he'll get used to "Jimmy" if
that's what everybody else calls him.

    We named our third child Randy.  When I told a friend of mine that we
    named him Randy, she started laughing like crazy.  Randy?  Not Randall
    or Randolf, just Randy.  I said yeas, we are naming him after my wifes 
    nephew who died of leukemia.  This kind of quited things down although
    I kind of felt guilty afterwards, but it is true.
    
    Mike

    >My father's name is Hilary.  Hilary is a very common name for a
    >boy over in England.  In the US, Hillary is common for a girl.
    >I want to name (if it's a boy) the baby Jordan Hilary "Pelland" (my
    >married name).
    
    Interesting ....  we are from England (10 years in Canada though) and
    found that Hilary was a relatively popular GIRL's name and Hillary was
    a much less popular BOY's name there.  (Mind you neither name is really
    what you'd call popular ....  maybe in the top 100 but nowhere near
    the top 20!)
    
    Stuart

    re .21  Yes, but we ask, and get asked, about them [middle names]
    frequently.
    
    Leslie Elizabeth Woolner

The "Jason" note reminded me... a couple of years ago we were visiting a
friend  of ours who was expecting... she had a book called "Beyond
Jennifer and Jason: a practical guide to naming baby".  It was a somewhat
tongue-in-cheek look at the REAL meanings people attach to names in
contemporary society.  I don't remember any of the entries off the top
of my head, but it explains what many people think when they hear names
like "Norma", "Mildred", "Bruno", "Mortimer", etc.  I'd give it a look-see...

here's a rathole for you... what would happen if we gave KIDS the ability
to change their own names (maybe on their birthdays)?  Maybe, instead of a 
classroom made up mostly of Ashleys and Jasons, we might end up with a 
classroom full of Madonnas and Donitellos? 8-) 8-) 8-)

--jim

    Well, Alexandra is 6 1/2, and she likes her name so far (except when 
    people call her a city in Virginia), but she tells me that if she has 
    a daughter, she'll name her Pony!!!
    
    Pony Pony bo-bony, banana-fanna fo-fony...
    
    Leslie

    
    For those interested in receiving suggestions and critique on 
    their name choices, there's always the BABYNAMES notesfiles
    on node OASS.
    
    FYI,
    cj/

    
re .19
    >>> he let me choose the middle name (which Germans seldom use) 
    
    That's a real surprise to me, since most of my male ancestors had
    multiple names (Johann something) in most cases, and my cousins'
    family follow the Saxon tradition (from their father's family) of
    having TWO middle names. Of all my relatives and ancestors I know
    but one or two exceptions to the rule of having at least one middle
    name. 
    
    Monica Lore (final "e" pronounced, its the last part of 
                 my aunt/god-mother's name; "Hannelore")
    

When we were originally choosing names, we chose Bethany Anise for a girl
and Drew for a boy (Andrew Alexander maybe?).  On my side of the family,
the women have a name that is passed on.  I am Carol Anne.  My mother is
Louise Anne.  Her mother is Evelyn Anna, and so on.  I wanted *something*
with something like Anne, and we decided we could call her Bethany/Beth Anne/
Beth.  The "Anise" was my favorite grandmother's middle name - she hated it,
but I had always loved it.  It is pronounced like "a nees'" (or a neice).

Our last name was Johns then.  Somewhere around my 6th month of pregnancy
we were sitting at SeaWorld, and we suddenly thought "Drew Johns" - sounds
like an artist of toilets!  Frantically we changed his first name, and then
ended up changing the girl's, too (I think at that time we went with Rachel).
Sooo, since finding a boy's name was very, very difficult for us (all of the
names I liked had bad associations for Shellie) then we finally found one
that worked for both of us and grabbed it - Evan.  Nicholas was one of
several names that we considered for both a first and last name, but we don't
like one syllable boy's nicknames, so decided against it for a first name.
I actually polled a bunch of our friends online, to see what name(s) they
preferred.  I warned them that I would do what I wanted anyway, and no one
was offended.  My mom didn't like a lot of our choices, but we didn't care
much what anyone thought, so long as she wasn't *terribly* opposed.

When/if we have another child, I have *no* idea what we will call him/her!

      Carol

Some names can be a liability in other cultures.  This came up in PARENTING
a while ago regarding the derogatory connotation of "Berk" in Britain.
"Randy" is another example.  In British English, it's roughly equivalent
to "horny."

    For some reason, Kathy and i had a harder time deciding on a girl's
    name than on a boy's name. The boy list was quickly whittled down to
    three names: Ryan, Christopher or Nicholas. I wasn't as fond of Ryan
    as i was of the other two, but it went well as a middle name with
    either of the other two, so our choices became Christopher Ryan or
    Nicholas Ryan. When the baby was finally born, Kathy just started 
    naturally calling him Christopher, while I started calling him
    Nicholas. Come the second day at the hospital, Kathy also started
    calling him Nicholas, claiming that he was showing signs of being
    misceivous, and that, in her mind at least, Christophers were better
    behaved than Nicholases...;^)
    
    As far as girl's names went, we literally never got the list down to 
    fewer than 10 names. One's that I liked, Kathy didn't, and vice versa.
    God only knows what would have happpened had the baby been a girl....we 
    would have been scrambling for a name in the delivery room! Since then,
    we've made it a point to take note of girls names that catch our
    attention. Two that have stuck with me for a while are Veronica
    (triggered by an Elvis Costello song from a while back) and Melissa
    (from an old Allmann Brothers song). Maybe I listen to too much radio?? 

    we also decided that part of our criteria was that the first
    name could not start with a "B" (could be imagine Bob Barney,
    or Barbara Barney -- too many "B" sounds") also decided not to
    end the name with an "y' or 'ie' because the last name already had
    that sound at the end. Well, there is always the name one or the
    othe don't like, but we came up with a number of choices.
    Scared my mother once....."Mom, we've decided to name the 
    baby Wolfgang Barney" "oh no!" she said .....;-)
    
    Bibi Barney, or (god forbid!) Betty Barney (we are trying desperately
    to get away from everybody's "flintstone" mentality!)
    
    Monica

    Re .0:
    
    If you make it clear the decision has been made, I think it is VERY
    rude to tell the prospective parents you don't like the name.  (In
    fact, even if you're asking for opinions, it's more tactful to say "I
    prefer choice A" or "have you considered that the nickname for that
    name rhymes with your last name?")  People are usually more polite
    after the birth, so you may be better off to keep your decision to
    yourselves until then.
    
    Re .31:
    
    So what name did your son end up with?  Nicholas Ryan?
    
    Re .32:
    
    Just tell them that people who live in glass houses shouldn't throw
    Pebbles!  (sorry, it's late...)
    
    -Tracy
    

    When I was in high school, I always wanted a unique name for my baby,
    if I was ever going to have any.
    
    Well, that day came when my husband and I had to decide on a baby name. 
    Everyone in my family and my husbands family hated the names we picked
    out.  They all wanted a common name.  I told my husband that if I
    picked a common name, I would want it spelled uniquely (sp).
    
    Our first daughter was going to be named Tara, Cierra, Brianna, or
    Riannon.  Well, after much negotiating with my husband, we decided on
    Alyssa.  I had never heard that name before, and I thought it was
    different.  (Now we go into malls and you can hear mothers calling
    ALYSSA all over the place!)
    
    When I was pregnant for the second time, I thought of Lauryn.  Lauren
    was a nice name, but I wanted it spelled differently.  Well, my
    daughter didn't like it, but did like the name Kristen.  Seeing as we
    liked it too, we named her KRYSTIN.
    
    I think MAX is a wonderful name.  It's unique and very nice sounding. 
    My advise would be do not tell anyone the name until after the baby is
    born.  They'll have to like it!
    
    Gail
    

    While my neighbor was visiting me last night with her 6 month old son
    Anthony my Mother In Law happened to stop by.  She asked what the
    babies name was and after hearing Anthony she said to me, now thats a 
    nice name.  I replied, we already decided on Max, then she said OH
    NO...you still have time to change your mind !  
    

    
    
    I personally LOVE the name Max, I just think that it is so simple and
    friendly (I also like Sam).
    
    	We get mixed reactions on the name we chose which is Spencer.
    People either like it or not. We wanted a name of English origin (my
    husband and I have traced family roots 12-15 generations back to
    England). Many people have asked us if the baby is named after the TV
    show, Spenser for Hire. We also thought about the name Cooper and may
    use it in the future (should I ever be brave enough to go through this
    again!)
    
    	The girl's name that we had chosen was quite another story. We were
    going to use Sierra and many people outright told us that they didn't
    like it. My philosophy on that? you name your child what you want and
    we'll name ours waht we want.
    
    				Wendy

    
    I think Max is a great name. I wouldn't worry about how other people
    react to the names you pick. You are the ones (and the child) that
    have to hear the name the most. If you can see yourself liking the
    name years down the road, then it is the perfect name for you.
    
    Good luck,
    
    Sheila
    

    Consider THIS: My girlfriend named her daughter---Shannon.
    The last name is very Irish. Grandmother and grandfather,
    both very "Yankee," were taken aback: "Shannon? Like the 
    AIRPORT???!!!!" For the longest time they called the baby
    "Sharon." Just couldn't grasp that airport name.
    
    In my first son's case, Bob and I settled right away onto
    the name of Michael. Just something about that name felt
    right. Michael Gallagher Jordan. MGJ. Mikey. Mike. . .
    MICHAEL JORDAN!!!!! The basketball player. What have we
    done?! 8^)  Heh, heh. So far, Mike likes hearing his name
    on TV, and he thinks it's neat to have the same name as
    a famous athlete. Hope he can carry through with that 
    attitude in kindergarten this year. Kids can be cruel.
    Case in point: Our phone rang. Me: "Hello?" Teeny-bopper: 
    "Is Michael Jordan there?" Me, puzzled by late-evening call
    to my 4-year-old: "Ah, he's upstairs in bed right now." 
    Teeny-bopper: "HAH, GUFFAW, HAH-HAH!" CLICK.
    
    We named our second son---Neal, right around the time the 
    President's son, Neal, was having all the scandalous trouble.
    Can't win. Anyone know Michael Jordan's number? 

    Didn't Erma Bombeck write something about choosing a child's name
    (Possibly in "Motherhood, the world's oldest profression") ...
    
    Pick out a name, stand by the back door and scream it at the top of
    your lungs many many times.  Go inside and pick out another name (-:
    
    Patty

    I also like the name Max very much and would probably use it
    if we hadn't had a cat at one time named Max.
    
    If my mother in law was so much against a name we chose, you'd
    better believe that is the name we WOULD use!!!
    
    People have also asked what names we've picked and then when I've
    told them, say, "I don't like that name."  It bothers me a bit but
    then when they list the names they would choose, I realize we just
    have very different taste because I would never use their choices.
    
    If our first was a girl we were going to name her Brandy.  I've only
    seen that in the Babynames Notesfile as a "criminal name".  Seems many 
    people think of the liquor when they hear brandy.  My husband and I
    don't drink which is probably why we don't think of the booze.  Anyway,
    after much grief from a relative of his, my husband has decided he doesn't
    want to go with Brandy if it's a girl this time.  I still like the 
    name.
    
    We have come up with a couple very nice names.  You'll read them in
    the birth announcements when the time comes.
    
    Donna
    

Isn't Brandy often used as a name for St. Bernards?

    
    RE: .42 OUCH!  I think Brandy is a very nice name and don't think 
    people should judge others choices.  Max is very strong name that isn't
    around much and I think these kids (Brandy and Max) will be grateful
    that they don't have the typical names and don't have names out in left
    field, like Zowie or Moon Unit.  
    
    Don't let others make you alter your decision.  My girlfriend altered
    her choice, and at the time of birth changed her selection because
    of family pressure.  I think it is a very nasty thing to do to a new
    mom in her happiest days.   
      
    Stick to your decision and be proud!
    
    Just mho.
    
    Rose Marie
    

    When we were picking out names, we wanted Stephen John for a boy and
    Katherine Nichole for a girl.  We ended up having a boy.  First of all
    everyone thought it strange to spell Stephen with a ph instead of a v. 
    I like the way it looks with a ph.  We had decided that if we have a
    girl next time, we would still name her Katherine Nichole.  (I would
    name her Nichole Katherine, but one of the nicknames for Nichole is
    Nicky and with our last name, it wouldn't work.  Well, by cousin had a
    baby girl last month and what did they name her, Katherine Nichole. 
    Well, that really ticked me off big time.  They knew that we were
    saving that name.  Why do people do things like that?
    
    Kathy 

Re: .44

You just gave another reason for not revealing your choices to ANYONE
until after the baby is born and named.

I think the "what names have you picked out" question is second only
to "do you want a boy or a girl?"  (If asked the latter, I'd respond "Yes,
a boy or a girl would be very nice.")  Unlike the latter question, though,
where the choice isn't under your control, anyone and everyone will
throw in their two cents worth on baby names, and most will try hard to
impose their own biases upon you.

Now I'll be the first to admit that I think a lot of parents inflict
truly awful names on their children, but I would never (well, almost
never) try to tell someone that I hated the name they picked out.  The
fact that they chose it reveals that they had some personal reason for
that choice, and by attacking the name, you attack them as well. 

Another reason for not telling people the name choices is that you might
change your mind, and if you'd told everyone your choice, and then
named the baby something else, you'll have a lot of explaining to do.

If you have chosen, with due care, a name which you like and which you
don't think will cause problems for your child later in life, then keep
it between you and your spouse until you make the birth announcement.
By doing so, you'll save yourself a LOT of grief.

				Steve

    A custom which has largely fallen into disuse today, is the naming of
    children after elderly or deceased relatives.
    
    I think it provides continuity in the family and helps strengthen the
    child by helping him/her identify with the relative.  
    
    There is still room for creativity, because the name can suffer some
    alteration and still serve its purpose.  For instance, I was named
    after my grandfather Louis, and my name is Laura.
    
    I named my daughter after two of her great grandmothers.  As she grows
    up, we will tell her stores about them, and hopefully impart their
    courage and strength to her.
    
    My friend Hope is descended from a line of Hopes which goes back many
    generations.  In her famiily, there is a Hope in every generation,
    although they need not be directly descended.  It's meaningful and
    provides a tie to the old country, Ireland.
    
    Another benefit of the practice, is helping parents-to-be narrow the
    range of choices.  The process can be overwhelming.  
    
    IMHO,
    Laura

    Gerald,
    
    My aunt had a dog named Brandy (not a St. Bernard) and we still were 
    going to use the name for a baby girl.  I had a cat named Max, but
    I don't think because of that the person who chooses the name Max
    should not use it because someone decided nine years ago to give 
    their cat that name.  
    
    I grew up with a cat named Tommy.  My cousin has a little boy and
    named him Tommy.  We didn't ask her if she named it after our cat.
    
    Anyway, thanks for the comment.
    
    Donna
    
    p.s.  The only St. Bernard I ever knew was named Tara - now there's
          another pretty name for a human being.
    

    RE: Pet names...
    
    My step-father had a St. Bernard, named Debbie.
    As it turns out, my given first name is Debra/Debbie.
    
    I go by Jodi.
    I used to own a Beagle named Jody (I didn't name him)
    
    My parents got me a Boxer when I was very small,
    his name was Mike.
    My sons name is Michael/Mike.
    
    When it came time to name our own kids, my husband
    refused to use Jennifer as a name because my last dog's
    name was Jennifer.
    
    But since he liked the name Michael sooo much, it didn't
    seem to bother him that I had also owned a dog named MIke.
    
    People are funny.
    
    I liked the name Brittany, but everytime I tried to come
    up with a middle name, all I could think of was Spaniel. :^)
    Brittany Spaniel Newell...nah.
    
    MORAL of the STORY:
    It doesn't matter what name you choose, there is a dog out
    there somewhere with the same name.  
    
    Jodi-
    
    

    I am very close to a cousin I have, named Ed. Last time we 
    visited him and his wife, she was pregnant with their first child.
    When I asked him what names he'd chosen he said Nicholas or Tanya.
    
    I was momentarily upset since I had always wanted to name a boy
    Nicholas. Well, I did not say anything, and they had a girl.
    When I became pregnant we did indeed choose Nicholas (after our
    switch from Hanson) but decided to name the boy Daniel at the last
    moment, hoping to "save" the name, if not for us, then for Ed and
    his wife who were expecting their second when we lost our baby.
    
    Well, again they had a girl (Tessa Marie, 31st July)
    
    We were talking about the name the other day, and I told them I had
    saved the name for them, knowing, had we named our boy Nicholas, they
    would not have named their child that, in defference to our tragedy.
    They were quite honoured, but Ed asked me that had they had
    a boy, would I have named my next boy Nicholas as well?
    "Yes" I said.
    "Good" He replied.
    Neither of us would have minded. What a great guy he is. 
    
    Monica 
                                                        

A couple of replies mention choosing a name, revealing it, and having
the name "taken" by a relative, who apparently had similar taste in names :-).
I agree with the reply that said "use the name anyway" if you'd still like to.
My name is Jill Ellen, and I have a second cousin (a few years younger) who is
also Jill Ellen.  It wasn't intentional (I think they knew I was Jill, but
didn't realize my middle name was Ellen) and it certainly hasn't caused us any
grief, though we were called Big Jill and Little Jill occasionally when we were
young.  I'd think it more confusing to have a "Senior" and "Junior" in the
same house than cousins sharing a name, and besides, it shows that the name is
really special for two people to share it (biased, am I? :-))

Jill

    I think Max is a great name - our Max is 9 months old!  
    A lot of people asked us if it was short for Maxwell or Maximillian,
    but I think everyone's clear now- it's just Max.
    
    We had a lot of trouble finding a name we could both agree on. If we'd
    started listening to other people's views on the subject we'd never
    have given the baby a name at all.
    
    Most people seemed to like Max in the end, apart from my mother in law.
    But she wanted us to call the baby Julian if it was a girl - yes
    really! (Don't know if you use Julian in the US, but here in the UK
    it's a boy's name) 
    
    Heather
                                                          

I had a professor at university  whose name was J. Ivan Rhodes.  We always
wonderered what the J. stood for that it could be so bad that he prefered to
be called Ivan (an unusual name in the cold war times in the midwest, to say
the least :-).  No offense intended to any "Ivans" out there.

Well, Ivan's wife had a son, his first child.  We then learned the story.  His
son was named Ivan J. Rhodes, breaking a 17 generation tradition of naming the
first born male of the generation Jasper Ivan Rhodes.  

ccb

    Note .52 reminded me - My sister-in-law used her husband's family name
    "George" as the first name - his name is George Daniel (they call him
    Dan) and her husband is George Jeffrey (call him Jeff).  Didn't even
    remember that until I read the J. Ivan story.
    
    I sure would hate to be the one to break a "tradition" in my family. 
    Luckily there aren'y any tradition names....
    
    -sandy
    

When Jim/I were first told of our upcoming "baby" (adoption), we did NOT
choose a name (or do much of anything, including announcing the news) for
fear that a "disruption" would be tragic enough for us to handle without
hearing the name "Andrew" mentioned throughout grocery stores, get-to-gethers,
etc.

When the timing was right (fully expecting a "son"), we choose:
	Jeffrey James Jensen.

Well!, that was a topic of discussion and humor which I'm glad only lasted
4 LONG weeks before a "baby girl" arrived (and I bet a lot of people wiped
their brows at hearing our baby WAS NOT A BOY!).

Now we have a daughter ... and NO name!  She was born on Saturday and we had
FIVE LONG, DIFFICULT DAYS to wait until she joined us.  So ... we filled the
emotional void with discussing "girl" names with both our families 
(and friends).  We had a few "OK" names and they offered a few "more" ... 
and in the end, Jim/I PICKED our daughter's name (on the Mass Pike somewhere
between Framingham and Newton!):

	Julianne Danielle Jensen

(Jim's name is James Daniel.)

I'm glad it was "somewhat" a family affair!  (Not to mention the 40+ names
written on my office wipe-board!)

Dottie

While naming a child after a relative is indeed a popular option, it
is sometimes trouble.  You may find that some relatives are upset that
you named the child after some relative in another part of the family
tree.

When my son was born, his mother and I deliberately avoided choosing names
based on those of any of our relatives.  My grandmother apparently became
convinced, with no evidence whatsoever, that we would name him after
my deceased grandfather, but otherwise all we got was the puzzled "Who
did you name him after?"  (The answer was "nobody".)

Personally, I dislike the custom of naming a child after a relative as it,
to me, sets up an expectation that the child is not an individual but
rather a "copy" of someone else.  For this same reason I don't like "Juniors".
But I recognize that others feel differently about this.

We were very definite that we would not reveal our name choices to ANYONE
before the birth, and I think this was the best approach, as it avoided
at least one of the typical pressures new parents face.

				Steve

My older brother has 4 children, and has named all of them after family
members (our family and his wife's) - first AND middle names.  I have two
daughters who are also have one name each from their ancestors.

My younger brother has commented for years that we have "stolen" all the
good names, including the ones that weren't even family names, but he just
liked!  The fact that my husband has 3 sons who also have some "good" names
(according to my brother) doesn't halp either.  By the time he has children, 
he thinks there won't be any good names left.

When my brother named his daughter Diana Kay I was disappointed.  I had
always wanted to name my daughter Justine Kay, and felt I shouldn't use their
name (it had no family history).  So I understand how my younger brother
feels.

Oh yeah - my paternal grandfather was Paul something.  My dad is Duane Paul.
My younger brother is Paul Justin.  Perhaps he will have a son and name him
something Paul.  I don't know how far back this tradition goes.  My nephew 
(from older brother) is Paul Michael.

FWIW

    I like the name Max.  As a matter of fact, when my brother and his wife
    were thinking of names, Max was one of them.  They couldn't decide on
    Maxwell, Maxmillan, or whatever when I looked at my brother and said
    "why not just Max?"  I think it's a great name.  However, they chose
    Zachary.
    
    I know what you mean about the name choices.  Just about everyone likes
    my daughter's name (Jacquelyn Michelle), but I got a hundred comments
    on how to spell her first name before she was born.  Some of my inlaws
    still don't spell it right and she's 15 months old!
    
    Mary
    

I had three cousins all named after my Uncle Robert.  Robert was the best 
loved sibling of seven and was killed in his early twenties in the Second
World War.  My aunts and uncles apparently wanted to honor him and three of 
them named their children after him: Robert Norton.  I thought it was rather
wonderful when I was big enough to understand and always felt those three
were particularly blessed.

ccb

    There are some pros and cons to naming a child Max rather than Maxwell,
    or Bill rather than William, for instance.  If you are considering
    naming your child by what's usually a nickname, consider carefully.
    
    My husband's real name is Bill, and here's how it is for him.  When he
    fills out applications, he's always asked, "That's William, isn't it?" 
    He then has to say, "No, just Bill."  To me, it's annoying, but he is
    not bothered.  
    
    It helps him sort junk mail.  Anything addressed to William can usually
    be tossed - the sender doesn't know him.  Except for those times when a
    zealous clerk "corrects" his name.  If it's an important record, it has
    to be corrected - back to Bill!
    
    On the whole, he likes it fine.  If it were me, I'd be very annoyed.  
    
    I like the idea of giving a child a formal name, and then adapting the
    nickname later.  For instance, a William might be called Bill in
    childhood, but decide he likes Will when he gots older.  Then, it's his
    choice.  Of course, the Bill in question is happy being Bill.  So it's
    an individual reaction.
    
    Laura

    Count me as another vote of liking "max".
    
    As for worrying about it being an animal's name, I say so what!
    Picture this, we adopted a cat 9 years ago, living in a condo building,
    and a friend of the next door neighbor introduces this cute little
    girl, named Holly.  Which is a great name, but at the time I would
    allow the girl to come into my unit, since the kitten was a novelty,
    and every little girl usually *loves* kittens.  The visitor asks my
    cat's name, to which I stumble for a minute and annound "we call her
    Kitty or kitty cat or just Cat.  Her name officially is in fact HOLLY! 
    But I felt like the little girl would be insulted when she realized she
    shared a common name with A CAT!
    
    As for family names, there's a family name only my side that is now in
    at least its third generation, maybe more I'm not sure.  My father, my
    cousin, and now my cousin's son have a middle name of MacRae, not real
    common but nice.  My uncle was Colin, pronounced as if it were Hall-in,
    every stranger misprounced his name, and now my cousin named his son Colin
    too as if it were a bowel part, and I really dislike that, and every family 
    member will quickly correct whoever mis pronounces it. One of my other
    cousins is also "leagally" Colin, we always called him Buddy!
    
    Obviously these names have come over with our Scottish heritage.  I did
    draw the line of carrying my father's name, as nice as it was 
    Angus MacRae just didn't seem quite the right tag to pin on our child.
    
    Lyn (or is it Linda...or Lindy Lou or just Hey you!!)
    

    Me, again, from .39. 
    
    Our son Michael was given my mother-in-law's maiden name as a 
    middle name: Gallagher. We wanted to honor her, and our son.
    I insisted that we give our second son a name from my husband,
    turned out to be Robert. I have my mother's first name as my
    middle name, Margarete. I think it's part of family ties. And
    it's important to ME. Do what's important to YOU. Max is great!
    
    Now, then, we would have had to dissapoint Aunt Winnie if Michael
    had been born a girl. He was due on her birthday, and he actually
    arrived that day! Winnifred made no bones about it; she wanted a
    namesake. But *WE* did not want a girl named Winnifred, although
    we kicked around the name Winne/Wynne as a derivative. Do what *you*
    want for yourself and your kids. No one else has to know why you
    made your choices.
    
    BJ
        
 

    I cannot agree more -- you have to live with the name.  As someone
    earlier pointed out, just make sure the name goes with your last
    name.  For example, I taught a girl named Candace Kane.  So help
    me.
    
    Our own experience -- we called our little girl Hollis, Holly for
    short.  Well, you don't hear Hollis every day, and my mother-in-law,
    a traditionalist, doesn't really liek the name.  But Mike and I did.
    It doesn't have 2,000 nicknames, like Elizabeth does, for example,
    and it's reasonably easy to say. It goes with our last name, Nelson,
    and it's a name that will grow up with her, we think.  I very much
    wanted to use family names for middle names, so we used Maclean,
    Great-Grandmother Nelson's maiden name (she was Janet Maclean before
    she married Andrew Nelson).  Holly is now 9 weeks old, and I can't
    imagine her being named anything *but* Hollis Maclean Nelson, Holly for
    short, precious forever.
    
    Stick to your guns, realizing that you may change your mind when you
    see the baby....
    
    All the best,
    Kate

    Hi Janet!
    
    Can you stand one more opinion on Max :-))?  I kind of like it, too,
    although when my husband and I were picking boys names starting with
    "M" (needed an M-name because we were naming him after my husband's
    grandfather Morris, and no way was I going to name a baby Morris!), he
    liked Max and I told him I didn't.  (We went with Marc).  Yeah, it's
    sort of a popular name for cats and dogs, but so what.  I hear it's
    becoming pretty popular lately.  Lots of names from our grandparents
    generation are starting to come back.  One of my grandfathers was
    named Max, and so was a great-uncle.
    
    Also, Palubinskas is so long, you need a really short first name.
    
    I agree, it's kind of rude to say "ugh" or something.  Unless the
    person specifically asks for your opinion, or the person is a very
    close relative, or maybe not even that.

    Dido for me!  I like the name Max even for a girl's name.  When I was
    pregnant my husband and I couldn't think of anynames for girls. We 
    had already decided that it would be Mark Jr. if it was a boy.  Well
    it turned out to be a girl and we named her Rebecca Rose.  We wanted
    to name her Rose (after his grandmother) but we couldn't figure out
    a middle name.  No one on his side of the family like Rebecca.  I
    simply didn't care!!!  If we both liked it well so be it!!!  My sister
    still teases me till this day and Rebecca is 5 months old.  She calls
    her Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farms!!!! :^( So remember you and your
    husband are the important ones! Disregard any other opinions!!
    
    Just my 2 cents!!!!
    
    
    

	to the base-noter, as everyone else has said, it's REALLY up
	to you and shouldn't (:-}) matter what anyone else thinks or
	says.  For what it's worth, though, I like Max too !

	But boy did this file bring back some memories.......

	family names...my dad's name was Peter... boy was my mom p-o'd
	when my uncle/aunt named one of their son's "Peter" and my
	folks had that option taken away from them for a son.......

	my friend's family...the women all get named with first-middle-
	last names, but when they marry, they "drop" the middle name
	and replace it with their maiden names, so they always carry
	the family name.....I think this is nice, but had never heard
	of it before.....

	my son.....when I was carrying "the kid", I was undecided between
	two girls names right up to delivery (Bethany and Melissa); for
	a boy,I wanted to name him after my father, but my father
	said "no way" (I figure, if you want to name a child after some-
	one who's alive, it's an honor and courteous to let them know);
	wanting to take his wishes into consideration, we settled on 
	Matthew Peter which made us both happy.......so, in the delivery 
	room, when the doctor said "it's a boy" I immediately said "his 
	name's Matthew Peter !!" .....don't know WHAT I would have said
	if he had been a "she !!!!!!.......then later when I told
	my brother who lives in California what the baby's name was,
	his reply.......


	   "GOOD THING YOU DIDN'T NAME HIM 'PETER' AFTER DAD - THAT'S
	     ***MY RIGHT AS THE FIRST-BORN SON***" 

	To this day, HE still doesn't have any kids !!!  

    All the boys in my husbands family are named after each other.  It goes
    something like this:
    
    Paul Douglas (Jr.)			Paul Douglas (Sr.)
    Robert Andrew			Warren Travis
    Travis Robert			Robert Travis
    Andrew Douglas			Douglas Robert
    Robert Douglas Jr.			Robert Douglas Sr.
    
    And mind you ALL they're last names are the same.  Boy is it confusing
    during family reunions when you're calling off people's names!!!
    
    
    

    
    re .66
    
    My husband's family is similar but there aren't as many of them.
    My husband's grandfather was Peter George, His uncle is Peter Nicolas
    and his father is George Peter (or Nicolas). His brother is Nicolas
    Peter and he is George William (grandfather on the other side.)
    
    My husband had always said we wouldn't name a son George but I wanted
    to use a family name in some way. I had narrowed a boys name down to
    Phillip George or Keith William, the first names being names that just
    popped into my head. We ended up with Anna Sophia. My maternal
    grandmother was Anne and his maternal grandmother is Sophia (she's
    still alive). As soon as Anna was born, they said "It's a girl!" and
    I took one look at her and knew I had picked the right name.
    
    One thing I would never do is not give my child a middle name. I do not
    have a middle name and when I fill out forms or am asked for my full
    name people always say "No middle name??" Now if I had one wouldn't I
    have put it down????
    
    Patty

    re .66, my husband related an interesting antecdote from his days in
    the Air Force.
    
    Much like you some of the men did not have a middle name when they
    entered the service, but lo and behold when the got there they had
    one...  they became 
    
    [firstname]  NMI(no middle initial)   [last name]
    
    Sometimes Uncle Sam can give you MORE than you bargained for!!
    
    
    Or how about my mother's brother, "William Wills", thank heavens we 
    all knew him as "Uncle Bill"!!  
    

     Let's not lose sight of something -- while it's certainly true that it
is the the parents who have to "live with" the responsibility for CHOOSING
the name, it is the CHILD who has to "live with" the name.  This is not a
trivial distinction.
     To me that means that a parent should not totally ignore all negative
comments about a prospective name.  Some comments, such as someone being
disappointed that a child didn't get named after them, or some other member
of the family, properly belong in the "ignore" category.  But some comments,
like noting that a choice of names creates initials that spell a vulgar word,
should be listened to very carefully.  And if a prospective name gets LOT of
negative feedback, I think that the parents should rethink their choice.  Not
change it, necessarily, but rethink it.
     I can easily imagine a scenario that parents choose a name, get a lot
of negative feedback, get defensive, say "I don't care if that name means
`stupid' in French, I like the name", the child gets teased because of the
name, and ends up hating it.  And there are few things in life that are worse
to hate than your name.
     Another point is that what we think of a name is affected if we
associate a name with an individual.  For example, I never though of a dog
when I read the name "Max".  I thought of a kid who was on a soccer team that
I coached.  I know a lot of people named "Bill", so I don't think of an
individual.  But the name "Cynthia" makes my skin crawl.  Not because there
is anything wrong with the name per se, but because I've only known one
Cynthia in my life and she was the brattiest kid on the face of the earth.
     My favorite names are ones that are uncommon, but not unique.  That's
another reason that I like "Max".  My wife abhors nicknames, so we ended up
with Lara and Gary.  Other than Lara's name getting pronounced or spelled
"Laura", we've had a minimum of grief over the name issue.

Clay

    Clays note about nicknames reminded me of this:
    My mother-in-law decided she was going to clever and name her sons
    something simple and pronouncable, and something that didn't need a 
    nickname. However, it turns out that both her sons, Alan and Shawn,
    have a heck of a time to get people to spell their names correctly.
    There's Allan, Allen, Alen, Shaun, Sean, to name a few.
    I also agree with Clay when it comes to names that are not always 
    used and yet most people know how to spell. To that end I am very
    fond of the name Mom gave me, since only French Canadians seem to
    misspell it. (Monique isn't too bad, but it just means they are
    not paying attention. Its "Moniqua" I really had to wince at)
    The worst I usually have to put up with is my parents' german friends
    spelling it with a "K" (Monika).
    
    Monica  
                                    

It was hard picking a name - but I can tell you what was important to me in
picking a name.

Didn't want to name the baby after anyone - I was concerned that the kid see
him/herself as unique.

I wanted my family name as a middle name ("Staal" - Dutch).  My husband was
adamant against it - didn't want to saddle a kid with a "funny" middle name.
We almost divorced over this (:-)).

I wanted a name with a lot of possible variation. You know how kids want to
change their names as they grow up?  I wanted a name that supplies a lot of
possibilities.

I wanted a name that could be either "down-home" ("Bubba") or "elegant"
("Elizabeth"), so it would still fit the adult person the baby would become.

I wanted the name to sound good when pronounced in full (weddings, graduations,
out the back door).  The initials had to be reasonable.

I wanted names that are not commonly used, but not really unusual.

So we picked Elise MacKenzie Rollman for a girl or Shawn Taylor Rollman for
a boy.  We finally settled on the names the day before Elise was born.  Good 
thing Elise looks like an Elise. And BTW, whenever someone asked what names we 
were considering, I'd tell them the ones a friend of ours suggested - 
Roxanne or Rock  ("Rock N. Rollman").

    There's an interesting baby name book called "Beyond Jennifer and Jason
    - An Enlightened Guide to Baby Names". Instead of long lists of
    possible names, it has lots of different lists. Things like "Names
    So Far In They're Out" and "Fashionable Classics" and several lists
    like 25%Female-75%Male( Robin) , 50%Female-50%Male(Taylor) , etc. My
    husband and I couldn't really agree on names but we could pick
    categories we both liked. I think one such category was No-Image names.
    From there, it wasn't too hard to agree on a name.