Conference moira::parenting_v3

    She's plenty old enough, hang tough there mom!
    
    Bonnie

    I'm in the same position with my 9 year old.  Just keep smiling!!!!
    

    
    My guess is that if the camp takes kids in your daughter's age group,
    then the "average" child at this age must be ready, right?   I'm sure
    she'll have a great time and hope you can enjoy your "time off", too!
    
    If it were me, I'd probably pack some surprises (favorite treats,
    cards, photographs, etc) in my kid's bag to be discovered at camp -
    unless you think it would make her homesick.
    
    Good luck,
    Carol

    I first went to overnight camp when I was 8 and I loved it. I think it
    was harder on my parents then it was for me.  I was having such a good
    time that I never even sent home a post card.  My mother called all of
    my friend's parents to see if they had heard from their daughters and
    did any of them mention me!  
    
    Ginny

    Kat was 6.75 when she went to her first overnight camp, a Girl
    Scout camp in Vermont.  I was terrified.  She had such a good time
    she cried when we came to pick her up.  Every year after that,
    until she left Girl Scouts, she waged a campaign to get to go all
    summer . . . 
    
    --bonnie

    Well we did the deed yesterday and dropped our 9 year old off for 2
    weeks in Maine.  The camp has rules about kids calling home so we won't
    talk to him till next week.  If he doesn't write, we'll have no idea
    how things are going.
    
    To get through this, I am making the assumption (a BIG one) that he is
    having a great time.
    
    We had to leave Ian in the hospital when he was born and I think this
    is just about as bad.  The first time has to be the hardest because it
    really signals the beginning of independence.
    
    I want that independence for him but it sure is tough on me! 
                                                                

re: .6

>    If he doesn't write, we'll have no idea how things are going.
    
Based on many of the previous notes, and based on our own experience this 
summer, if he doesn't write, things are probably going well.


Clay

    It's definately harder on Mom.  Not long ago my son went off to "boot
    camp"....waaaaaa
    He's doing fine, Mom on the other hand misses her baby.  ;>)
    
    One question though, has she ever been away from home before?  When my
    younger sister went away to camp she had never been away from home
    before.  She couldn't wait to go away but it lasted one night.  They
    had to call my mother to come get her because she was so hysterical.
    
    Marie

Hope I'm not too late.  This is an excerpt from materials we got Patriot's
Trail (Massachusetts) Girl Scout Council before our daughter headed off to
camp.  

Clay
-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Homesickness

Coming to camp the first time or even for the  third time may cause a brief
case of homesickness.  We regard homesickness as a normal, healthy occurrence
in a child or teenager.  After all, leaving the comfort and security of home
can be quite a jolt.

The staff are instructed to be aware of a camper's moods and emotional
adjustment.  If a child is homesick, they will encourage her to talk it out. 
They try to help the child understand the feeling she is having and make an
effort to involve the camper in all camp activities.  Experience tells us
that within a few days the camper is busy having fun and feeling secure with
her counselors, new friends and the outdoors.

There is the problem of the "homesick letter".  While campers are
experiencing homesickness or rainy weather, they are usually writing home
about their feelings.  At this time, they are most inclined to write a letter
home and pour out all their grief.  A few days later, you receive the letter. 
What to do?  DON'T PANIC or feel guilty about having sent your daughter to
camp.  By now, your child is probably having a good time.  Immediately write
an encouraging letter.  Don't say I miss you.  Your daughter may then slip
back into a state of homesickness.  If a second letter comes, feel free to
contact the camp director who will talk to her counselors.

Before your daughter leaves for camp and while she is at camp, AVOID making
deals, i.e. "If you don't like camp after three days, we will come get you". 
This will make it very difficult for the camper to adjust and puts
considerable pressure on you to keep your promise.


                                   . . .

DOING THINGS HERSELF

Going off alone can be a very exciting time and the perfect setting to
develop some independence and a sense of responsibility.  However, without
a parent available to provide reminders or assist with problem solving, some
campers experience difficulty.  Some things to discuss with your daughter.

-    Be sure she understands her counselor and all staff are there to help
her.  Introduce her to the camp director, nurse, etc.  on the first day. 
Show her where the camp office is.  When you get to her unit, find the
bathroom, see where the counselors sleep, etc.  Encourage her to ask
questions if she doesn't understand.

- Teach her to make her bed.  If there is any chance that your daughter may
have and accident in the middle of the night, DO NOT her with a sleeping bag,
send only sheets and blankets.  Please reassure your daughter that there is
no reason to be embarrassed about bedwetting and if this happens to let her
counselors know.

-    Often campers have to be reminded how often to change their clothes,
especially  their favorite sweater or sweatshirt.  Provide a bag for dirty
clothes so they can be kept separate from her clean clothes.  Discuss whit
her the importance of keeping her things together so she will come home with
all her possessions.

-    If her hair is long, be sure she has rubber bands or something to keep
it out of her face.  Let her practice caring and combing her hair.

-    Show her how to address and stamp a letter, correctly.  Be sure she has
a list of important addresses including her own.

    Swell - I'm glad my son may be getting all this emotional support,
    what about me???  :-(

    
    
    	We're right here, all you have to do is ask.
    
    			Wendy

    We're here, Maxine.  And I'm sure if you called your son's camp,
    they'd be glad to reassure you, too.  They've had a LOT of
    practice dealing with the anxiety separation causes in both parent
    and child.  
    
    --bonnie

    Thanks for the replies.  I'm being half facetious I think.  Actually we
    are bearing up pretty well and Ian comes home this Friday.  We are
    expecting a call from him around Wednesday (in the camp's best interest
    since they can ask to stay longer :-)  ).
    
    Actually I'm getting used to having his room perpetually clean!!
    

    Although this is far from a close comparison I just had to tell
    everyone that AJ (he's 4.5) had his first "sleepover" about two weeks
    ago!
    
    It was unplanned, and spontaneous but he had a ball.  We had gone to my
    niece's 6th birthday party, my nephew is 6 weeks younger than AJ (about
    20somthing months between anyway) and my sister inlaw suggested towards
    the end of the day that we just leave AJ there for the night.  Of
    course my first reaction was like "you're kidding, and if I do you may
    never speak to me again, he's such a *monster*".  
    
    Well of course we asked AJ if really wanted to to this, and he was so
    excited he ran around telling each guest (mostly family) that he was
    sleeping over.  I couldn't contain his excitement, but did really want
    to?
    
    My husband and I left around 5pm, and expected the phone to be ringing
    when we got home to come get our son.  No it didn't.  We kind of looked
    at each other all night not knowing what to do with the peace and
    quiet, I kept feeling like a part of me was missing, and imagining AJ
    giving SIL a real hard time.  So we finally agreed this was crazy and
    went out later in the evening, "but only for a litle while, just incase
    my SIL needed us" (she didn't).  
    
    We went to get him the next morning, armed with a box of donuts for
    everyone to thank my SIL for an effort "above and beyond", she said
    the kids, AJ and her boy and girl, had a ball.  They played and talked
    til almost 10 that night and fell asleep, no problem.  All 3 kids were
    in the pool when we got there and it was like a major effort to get AJ
    to come home, and this only after we promised his cousins could come
    "real soon" to sleep over at his house.
    
    I felt so lost without my sidekick, seems AJ hardly missed us at all
    and wasn't *that* badly behaved as I'd imagined....
    
    Sorry this is so long, I just needed to share!
    
    Lyn

    Just to close out my part of this note - i picked my son up from camp
    last friday.  We received one 2 sentence note from him so at least we
    could figure out that he was still alive :*).  it turned out that they
    had a pay phone which he has never had to use and he didn't think to
    ask how - so he didn't call.
    
    Overall it was a positive experience for him.  He said that 2 weeks was
    enough for his first time, that he was homesick near the end, but that
    he did want to go again.  He made a friend or two and had a good
    relationship with one of the counselors.
    
    I think he only wore 1 pair of socks for the whole time he was there
    and maybe both his bathing suits!  He didn't like the food too much
    and lost a lb and a half (he looks great!).  So we all managed and
    next time will be easier.