Conference moira::parenting_v3

    
    Is it possible to pump at the times you would normally nurse while on
    the trip?   It seems that you are already nursing "part-time" already
    (since she's drinking whole milk during the day), so maybe you could 
    keep your milk supply over the 5 days by pumping.  The potential still 
    exist that Kimmi Jo might resist nursing after the 5-day break, but 
    then the choice would kinda be hers...
    
    Good luck,
    Carol

    Kristen,
    
    I know how you feel. I took 3 week long trips and several 2-3 day trips
    while I was nursing Justine (weaned at 19months). Even the last trip
    I took at 14mons, I thought for sure it would be a good time to stop.
    Take a breast pump along and just pump about 10min at a time about 3
    times a day.
    
    When you get home it will be like no time has passed.
    
    Jan

    Sure, no problem.
    
    I thought I was done nursing when I guess about a week had passed
    and I was in a situation where my baby was hunry and I had not brought
    anything, so I thought what the heck.  Surprisingly, there was
    absolutely no problem.  The baby was fed and all was quiet again.

    
    Kristen,
    
    My story - I would have been heartbroken if it had happened at 7.5
    months!
    
    My agreement with my boss was 12 months of no overnight travel for
    Digital so I could breastfeed.  12 months were up last month [May] and I 
    was away 2 nights one week and 3 nights the next.  My daughter
    (obviously 12 months old) was breastfeeding morning and evenings only.
    
    When I got home after the first trip, she sucked for about 2 nanoseconds and
    jerked away, never to breastfeed again. [sigh] She has always hated
    bottles and refused formula in any form.  She too, has drank whole milk from
    a cup since 7.5 months (against the pedi's advice).  While I was gone
    my husband tried feeding her breastmilk in a cup - no luck.
    
    She was fussy last night as I was trying to put her down, how I wished
    I could breastfeed her and get her right to sleep........
    
    Rochelle 

    I have only had a 36 hour separation so far.  Like you, I take my child
    on now infrequent business trips.
    
    I guess if I was faced with this (and I'm sure I'm not going to get an
    Excellence Award this year!) I would think about this stuff:
    
    -how important the trip was to me (for example, California is a place
    I've been and will continue to explore on my own, I don't care to
    socialize much with my business peers, I am very protective of my
    family time, I am secure in my position because I perform well and
    don't feel the need to be in the "right" places for advancement).
    
    -long term, how useful nursing is to me (like Rochelle, nursing is for
    instant calm, no fuss bedtimes and that makes my life real easy).
    
    -how much I would enjoy myself with the strings attached (I would miss
    Alex, be wondering if he would nurse again).
    
    There are of course, a hundred or so things I do differently or don't
    do or do because I have a baby now.  When I feel pressured about not
    achieving some things I would like to do now, I often use the "what
    will I remember when I'm eighty?" valuation.  That is, will my
    important memories be of a resort trip or of a certain type of
    relationship with my children?  Everyone will have a different answer.
    
    And I do know that people have made a choice not to attend company
    trips because they have young ones.  Frankly, I feel rather badly that
    my employer thinks an award for high achievement means leaving family
    behind for five days.  There used to be a conference for the award
    trips - perhaps you can get some information or support about bringing
    the kids after all.
    
    If the issue becomes time with your husband, there are other, perhaps
    less extreme options.
    
    The craziest part of it all is that it's a crap shoot.  Some kids will
    latch right back on and some will ignore you because of the separation
    and the time away from nursing.  The standard advise to drink tons and
    pump apply but I think you know that.
    
    If this is all meaningless to you, sorry to fill up space.  Travel is
    the hardest part of the working/mothering act to me so I sympathized
    right away.  Good luck,
    
    =ss

I wish you luck in your decision.  To me, the biggest obstacle is David.
If you decide to go on the trip, and if you decide you want to bring your
daughter along, you will need to work it out with him.  Perhaps you can
promise him another trip, just the two of you, when she is weaned.

As for your coworkers, it seems unreasonable to me for Digital to expect
a nursing baby to be separated from the nursing mother for more than a few
hours.  The possibility came up a few years ago here as well, and many of
us lobbied successfully to have children be included in the trip.  The one
thing that I learned I had to combat was that many parents of *older* children
are *ready* to leave their kids behind and have adult time for that week(end).
While my child was an infant and/or breastfeeding, I was not in the same
space.  They had a hard time realizing that someone else's situation might
a) differ from theirs and b) be valid.

You asked for experiences.  When Evan was 5 1/2 months old, and nursing very
well, I had to have emergency surgery.  I was not allowed to breastfeed because
of the drugs in my system.  I pumped, and after about a week I was able to
resume breastfeeding.  At least, that was my idea.  Evan decided the bottle
was *ever* so much easier, and although I tried for a solid week (with him
kicking my new scar - ouch!) he never would stay on the breast long after
that and finally refused altogether.

Good luck in making the decision best for you and your child!

        Carol

I think that your success with a break may depend on the age of the 
child.  When they are infants, it is more difficult for them to make 
changes and their memories are not that long.  

My personal experience - My father passed away when Brian was 14 
months old and I had to fly off to Florida for 5 days.  I brought my 
pump with me and pumped twice a day, at about the times I would have 
nursed.  By the time I got back to New England, my milk supply had 
dwindled quite a bit, more, I think, from the grief, lack of eating, 
and strain, than from the pumping itself.  But when I got back, he 
took to the breast immediately and his sucking got my supply back to 
where he needed it within a couple of days.  He continued to nurse for 
another 6 months.  I was delighted since I needed the closeness of my 
baby to help me through....

Norma

    It is possible to temporarily wean.  I did it with Carrie at 13 months
    due to a trip I took.  I walked through the door after a week, and she
    looked at me a said "mama?  oh mehmehs" and latched back on.  I would
    think it preferable that you take the short person with you,
    particularly since she is under 12 months, but if you must leave her,
    take a pump with you, and keep your supply up as best you can.  Be
    prepare for a little trouble with getting restarted at first, but it
    can be done.

Thanks for the replies so far.  I am encouraged that it might be possible.

As of today (and it changes weekly) I have decided to go without her and see
if she wants to continue nursing when I return.  We really need this, and I
think it would be best for the whole family to do it that way.

Kristen

I wanted to thank everyone again for their replies and mail messages, and let
you  know IT WORKED!!!

I left on Tuesday morning, and the girls flew to El Paso to be with my mother
on Tuesday afternoon.  Tuesday night was a bit uncomfortable so I expressed
an ounce or so.  Wednesday morning was awfully painful so I expressed 3 more
ounces.  Wednesday afternoon I expressed 3 more ounces and then I never had
to express again.  I guess my body figured out that Kimmi Jo wasn't around!
My mom said that Kimmi Jo really wasn't interested in the bottle, and didn't
seem to miss me either! :-(

I returned Monday (yesterday) afternoon wondering whether (1) my milk supply
would return, and (2) whether Kimmi Jo would be interested.  Right when I got
to the airport to pick up the girls, Kimmi Jo wanted to IMMEDIATELY nurse!
My milk came back immediately and she didn't let loose all night long!!!

Thanks again, everyone....

Kristen

    Glad to hear things worked out for you Kristine.
    
    Meg