Conference moira::parenting_v3

    They told us to skip a month.  The following month was successful..
    

    
    I was told to wait three months.  I had a D&C which might explain the
    longer wait than .1.   The following month was successful; as was
    the pregnancy.   However, we were also successful on the first attempt
    (which ended in miscarriage); so this shouldn't imply that it was any
    easier (or harder) the second time.
    
    I'm sorry about your miscarriage; it can be devastating.   Best wishes
    for the future,
    
    Carol

    re -1
    
    I had a D&C, and my doctor just advised to wait til after my next
    period, to make sure things had healed.
    
    As with every thing else, I think it depends on your doctor.
    Susan

My sister-in-law also had a D&C with her first miscarriage (very early
into the pregnancy).  They waited 2-3 months (I think on doctor's
advice) and she, too, got pregnant the following month and then had a
very healthy, BIG full-term son.

Good luck and God Bless!
Dottie

    Well I know how .0 feels this also happend to me.  It took me 6 months
    to get pregnant and in November of 1988 I had a sever miscarrage (I was
    6 weeks along when it happened).  I didn't need to have a d&c because
    everything came out mostly at home when it first happened and when my
    ob checked me out in his office and at the hospital.  I got pregnant
    at the end of January 1989, and in November of '89 I had a handsome
    full term 9 lb 7 oz baby boy who is now a happy and healthy and almost
    19 months old.
    
    I can relate with you being scared after having the miscarrage and
    thinking that it will happen agian.  I thougt the same way and was very
    relieved when I delivered my son.  My mom had 3 miscarrages and 3
    sucesfull pregnancies.
    
    Good luck and best wishes.
    
    Liz

    I think I know how you feel; I am itching to have another go at it - 
    having lost mine 10 weeks ago; in the 33rd week. For me the doctors
    say longer (different opinions; 6 mon to a year). 
    
    In going through this though, I just wanted to tell you that I heard SO
    MANY success stories (people having lost the first, going on to have a
    healthy child) that I feel very heartened at the prospect, and hope you
    will too.
    
    Monica
    
     
    
    

    My wife lost our first baby and they told us to wait one month before
    trying again.  Both times took less than six months.  My wife and I 
    had a very hard time dealing with the first loss, a lot of self doubt
    and "what did I do wrong" came bubbling to the surface.
    As she found out she did nothing wrong, these things just happen.
    I hope all this good news helps!
    
    							Rich

I lost Patrick at 14 weeks in November of 89 and became pregnant in March of 90.
We  were told to wait 3 months.  Rachel will be 5 months old on June 7.  I tend
to conceive very easily.

Liz

I lost my second one after about 14 weeks.  It is really difficult, I think, to
lose the first but at least you know that you can become pregnant.  My doctor
told me to wait 2 months.  I also had a D&C.  I became pregnant for the third
time exactly 2 months after the D&C (I also conceive easily) and delivered at
term.

I was told by my doctor that the miscarriage was due to an insufficiency of
hormones.  I had (accidently) become pregnant too soon after stopping the pill.
My body had not had time to adjust to the "real" pregnancy.  They followed my
hormone level "real close" for my second time.

Good luck for a successful next time around!

ccb

    
    I lost my first one at 8 weeks.  I didn't need a D&C.  The doctor
    told us we only had to wait 1 month.  Mentally, I needed three.
    
    	It took us about 9 months to get pregnant the first time.
    The second time, we got pregnant the first time we tried.!!!
    
    	I had a miscarriage 1/13/90.  I had a beautiful perfect baby girl
    on 1/20/91.
    
    PS:  I had some bleeding both times at 7-8 weeks.  The second time,
    	I thought, here we go again, another miscarriage.  But,
    fortunately, it wasn't.  Send mail, if you want any more information

    Hi Sue, 
    
    I hope all these success stories are making you feel more optimistic!  
    Miscarriages are very common, but never easy to accept.  My cousin and
    I were both pregnant with our first babies, due a week apart, when she
    miscarried at 8 weeks.  It was very difficult for them, they waited 6
    months before trying again, but 10 months later they were parents of
    a beautiful, healthy baby boy!  I should mention that her pregnancies
    were very different - with her first she had no morning sickness, with
    her second she had plenty - obviously plenty of pregnancy hormones 
    kicking around!
    
    Hope to be hearing about YOUR success story soon!
    
    Diana

    Another success story:
    
    I miscarried my first pregnancy very early.  I conceived 2 months later
    (after the suggested one month waiting period) and delivered a huge, 
    healthy, nearly 10 lb baby boy.  My 3rd, 4th and 5th pregnancies ended in 
    miscarriage sending me into an emotional tailspin.  It seems doctors don't
    necessarily take "early" miscarriages (1st trimester-early 2nd trimester)
    seriously until you've had 2 or 3.  Anyway, mine were due to hormonal
    deficiencies that were eventually detected through blood tests.  Since my
    diagnosis, I've gone on to have 2 more healthy babies with no more
    miscarriages! The waiting time in between the pregnancies varied from
    2-3 months each.  It didn't seem to be dependent on the length of preg-
    ancy or whether or not I had a D & C, but more on my mental state and
    the doctor's desire for me to have a normal cycle before trying again.
    
    Moral of the story - keep on trying.  Miscarriages are very difficult
    experiences.  There can be feelings of failure, of loss, of fear and of 
    vulnerability.  I was lucky in that the attending physician during one 
    of my emergency D & C's was an OB who is studying the origins of mis-
    carriages and he took me on as a "test case" patient.
    
    I wish you much luck.
    
    
    -Dorothy
            

    Regarding .12
    
    Dorothy,
    
    	Your experience sounds like what my sister-in-law has been going
    through.  She and her husband have been trying unsuccessfully for quite
    some time.  
    
       Her first pregnancy ended at 18.5 weeks because of a severe problem
    with the baby.  She has conceived twice since, and both of these ended
    around week 10 with D&Cs being necessary.  These two simply stopped
    developing.  
    
    They have not yet found anything with them.  Could you please be a 
    little more specific as to the kind of testing and diagnosis that
    happened with you if you think these last two are similar?
    
    You can send mail if you'd prefer.
    
    Thanks,
    
    Colleen

    
    1 of my pregnancies ended at 8 weeks, 2 at 10 weeks and one at 15
    weeks.  When I went for testing they were looking for what they call
    sperm antibodies, something in my blood that would reject the sperm,
    not necessarily before fertilization, but sometime during the early
    developmental stages.  Now, frankly, this confused me because I 
    thought once the embryo existed, it wasn't an egg and sperm anymore.
    This is still a mystery to me.  They didn't find these sperm anti-
    bodies in any large number but they did find that my progesterone count
    was very low.  Progesterone level should be growing continually but 
    it is essential that it increase from the 8-12 week range because that
    is when the placenta starts to grow in order to take over nurturing the 
    embryo/fetus (the embryo is fed from the egg sac up until this time).
    It is at this critical point that I didn't make the transition.  My 
    fetuses stopped developing, i.e. my placenta didn't "kick in" if you will. 
    Once they discovered this and got me on progesterone supplements 
    (vaginal suppositories - ugga) it was clear sailing for 2 subsequent 
    pregnancies.
    
    I am so grateful that someone took an interest in me.  I was really
    floundering after my 4th miscarriage.  I knew I could have a baby,
    I'd had one...but I wondered if something somehow had gone wrong and
    I wouldn't be able to have any more.
    
    
    I am very happy to give you the name of the doctor if you are local
    to the Boston area.  He's at the Brigham and Women's hospital.
    
    
    Hope this is helpful.  I wish your sister-in-law much luck.
    
    -Dorothy

    Thanks for all the replies.  I'm trying to keep optimistic.
    
    I do have another question though.  How long does it take before you
    get your period back?  And is there any correlation between how long it
    took to return and what your cycle used to be.  Meaning, I'm always 28
    days, does that mean that my period will return in 28 days?
    
    Thanks again,
    Sue

    
    Yes.  I got my period back within 30 days.    Not sure if it's true
    for everyone.  
    
    My cycle is always between 28-32 days so it was just like before.
    

    just a month after the delivery I felt ovulation, two weeks after
    that, it was back. 2nd time it was a 6 days early, and the third it
    was 1 day early, so I'm pretty well back on track. 
    
    Monica
    

    I was wondering that too.  I just miscarried 2 weeks ago 
    (I was only 3 wks along).  I have been thinking when
    will I get my period again?  The nurse told me I may not
    get one for a month or two before my system gets back to
    normal.  My situation is a little different.  I have been
    going through infertility treatment for 4 years.  However,
    I have been with a new wonderful Dr. for only 6 months and
    had success on only the 3rd month of actual treatment.  So
    I hope he can get me pregnant again...and I hope it won't
    take too long.  He is making me wait 3 full months before
    starting treatment again.  He says I have to do this because
    of all the shots/hormones I was on.
    
    Deb - whose waiting impatiently for 3 months.
    

    Deb, 
    
    I wish you the very best.  I know how hard it is to be patient,
    but I'm hoping all good things come to those who wait.  
    
    25 days after I miscarried, I ovulated, which was just yesterday,
    so hopefully I'll get my period within the next couple weeks.
    
    Sue

    A friend of mine miscarried at three weeks.  The doctor thought it
    might have been because of low hormones -- the first blood test at
    about 10 days turned up negative, and it wasn't until two days
    before the miscarriage that the test did come out positive, though
    based on her other symptoms they were almost positive she was
    indeed pregnant. 
    
    Because of that, the doctor recommended trying to get pregnant
    right away, before she even had a period, while the hormones were
    still high. 
    
    She had a beautiful healthy baby girl nine months later.
    
    --bonnie