Conference moira::parenting_v3

    Ian:
    
    We first approached the "iron-enriched" formula issue with our Pedi
    when Juli was born.  Our Pedi (of course realizing that every Pedi,
    every kid and every parent differs!) was adamant about not introducing
    extra iron into a newborn UNLESS the child IS TESTED and DEEMED to need
    the iron supplement.  Juli was lactose-intolerant and getting 1 ounce
    to stay in her at any given time was a real challenge!
    
    The Pedi did test her iron count and found it was decreasing each
    month.  'Round about 3 months (?) we had to switch her onto
    iron-enriched formula and did it ever bind her up (big time!).  We had
    a bear of a time keeping her regular  (First Food prunes is the only
    thing that worked).
    
    Pedi took her off the iron-enriched formula as soon as her count
    reached "low" (no longer critically low).
    
    I do remember the Pedi telling us to start liquid vitamins WHEN she
    exited formula and went onto whole milk (we used to add it "in" her
    morning bottle).  At some point (14 months?) we switched over to the
    chewable vitamins (liquid was so expensive!, and she went off the
    bottle).
    
    With the liquid vitamins, we often forgot (so she was lucky to get
    vitamins 3X a week!).  With the chewables, it's much easier.  We leave
    them in the bathroom and make it part of her bath ritual (no rhyme or
    reason, just easier to remember to brush her teeth and give her vit's
    in the tub!).  She can also make all the mess she wants to
    (dribbling!).
    
    As for results ... I can't honestly say if my kid is healthier or less
    healthy, happier or less happy, smarter or less smarter than the
    average kid (who may or may not take vitamins).  I give Juli one a day
    figuring it can't hurt (and might help).  I don't do any more than the
    usual "one a day".
    
    Just my two cents.
    Dottie
    
    PS:  I never liked to see adults using vitamins as miracle cures
         (or health/growth enchancements), so I'd never consider using them
         in that manner for my child(ren).
                                                    

    
    
    Ian,
    
    You don't say how old your children are but there are other
    possibilities why your son may not seem as mentally agile as your
    daughter.  
    
    Boys more often than girls are what has been termed here in the 
    Massachussetts school systems as developmentally young.  It does not
    mean that the child is not intelligent just that for the average age,
    he/she may be something like 6 months to 1 year younger in development.
    
    As an example, my son who is now in first grade was according to his
    school, developmentally young.  The school recommended a special class
    for children like him which he attended last year.  This year, he is
    right up there with the rest of the class and his marks for math are
    better than average.  In fact, I was told that the next grading period,
    most of his marks probably will be better than average.
    
    One of the differences I was told between an ADDS child and a normal
    child is that of concentration.  If your son can not concentrate for
    any length of time such as watching a T.V. show, or playing a game 
    without reacting to some other stimulus going on, then he may have 
    ADDS.  If he can concentrate while other things are going on around him
    then he probably does not have ADDS.
    
    Some of the things which we saw in Doug which indicated he was
    developmentally young, was he would not draw pictures when most of the
    other kids his age would; he was more concerned with what is called the
    "process" than the "project".  In other words, what would be
    experimenting and noticing the results of things than completing a
    project.  (By the way, at this time in his life, he is quite the
    artist.  Can't get the pen out of his hand!) 
    
    Also, try to be fair and not measure your son by your daughter's
    accomplishments.  You don't want him to start feeling bad about
    himself.  Each child has his/her own time table.  Not all kids walk at
    the same age, neither do they develop mentally at the same age.
     
    
    				Hopes this helps.
    
    				Darlene

    Hi Darlene, Dottie,
    
    Thanks for your replies. My daughter is 14, son is 11. I would suggest
    that my son has "selective concentration !". He can concentrate on
    watching TV or playing outside with the other kids all day. When it
    comes to homework/housework/school lessons etc, that's when his
    concentration lapses. This is not a new problem, he has exhibited the
    same symptoms since about age 2. He also has some behavioural problems
    (ie disruptive in class) and his handwriting is very immature (motor
    skills problem ?). He is at the moment going through an assessment to
    see if he would benefit from a special school or class, but the system
    here is very slow. In the meantime, my wife and I have to put up with
    the usual ill-informed jaunts of "Gee - why do some folks bring up
    their kids like that!"
    
    I'm not looking for a miracle cure, just something to help him on his
    way. Maybe a vit/mineral supplement would help his concentration powers
    which would make him less disruptive in class then obtain better class
    results then maintain more interest - in other words a positive cycle.
    
    Anyway, I have decided to put Chris on a 3 month trial. After all they
    are only vitamin/minerals which some kids regularly take as a dietary
    supplement. I'll post something here if I observe any results.
    
    Ian
    

    I'm glad you're pursuing regular channels -- if we were talking
    about my son, I'd be very concerned about ADD or another learning
    disability that is causing him to be disinterested in school. 
    Also, I was under the impression that selective concentration was
    a symptom of ADD.  Could someone who's more familiar with the
    problem comment, please?  Obviously we can't diagnose a problem
    over the net, but as parents we need to know what to look for.
    
    Another thing you might want to look into is eliminating
    preservatives from your son's diet.  We found that sodium nitrate
    (common in lunch meats, hot dogs, etc.) and yellow food dyes
    caused my daughter to behave in an erratic manner.  Nothing really
    major -- just a slight difference in attitude, less likely to fly
    off the handle or take offense at a slight, more cooperative.
    
    --bonnie

I agree with .4 on the selective concentration.  My daughter has
been diagnosed as having ADD, though she is not a classic case. 
She has no trouble on concentrating on TV or on computer games. 
She has no trouble concentrating when she is playing (but then, if
you think about it, playing usually requires only short interval
concentration anyway).  In the waiting room of the Learning
Disorders Unit at Massachusetts General Hospital, there is a video
game.  Some children with even severe cases of ADD can concentrate
on the video game for long periods of time -- and it's busy place,
with a lot of distractions (just imagine a large waiting room
filled with hyperactive children).

.4 is right in that we can't and shouldn't diagnose over the net,
but your son does show several symptoms of ADD (or ADHD as it is
often referred to now).  The selective concentration is a symptom. 
The acting out in school is a symptom.  The poor handwriting is a
symptom (that was one of the things that caused us to seek an
evaluation).  The symptoms often first appear at about age 2; in
some severe cases the symptoms appear even in infancy.  Of course,
they may be symptoms of other things also -- once again I'm not a
doctor, and I'm not diagnosing your son.

Unfortunately, this information won't do you much good if you have
difficulty finding someone to diagnose it, and if it hasn't gained
acceptance there.  It is somewhat controversial here (in the U.S.),
but it's gaining more and more acceptance.  I would suggest not
relying solely on school authorities, and try to find a learning
disorders specialist.  Good luck in your search, and send me mail
if I can help.

I assume also that you have looked in the Learning Disorders
Conference referenced in 720.1.

<FLAME ON>

How a school system can allow the child described to get to 11
years old before they even start an evaluation is beyond me.  

<FLAME OFF>

Clay

    My daughter is 13 years.  She had her daily dose of vit/min almost
    daily since she was an infant (almost because we did occassionly forget
    - tho not often) and by the time she was in 3rd grade we were sick of
    hearing "She's a bright girl, but doesn't work up to her full
    potential."  We decided to have her cored as they call it.  We went
    to Children's in Boston, and sure enough she had learning diabilities 
    with some ADD symptoms.  The school did put her in resource room in
    reading and math but by 5th grade her teacher felt she should go into
    resource for all subjects.  We did that from Jan - Jun and in 6th she
    mainstreamed in Sci. and Soc. St. (she was always mainstreamed for
    music, gym etc.) We have kept her like that through 7th and the plan
    for 8th is to only have her in Math Resource.  She has worked hard to
    catch up and has made the honor roll in doing so.  
    
    I am angry that the teachers who see these children everyday and should
    be trained to pick up something like this did not recognize it earlier
    
    Guess what I'm saying is take heed and I really don't think added
    vit/min to a good nutritional diet is going to raise your intelligence.
    In my daughter's case she has Avg intellegence but her mind processes
    Math differently.  
    
    By the way, in looking back at her progress reports for K and grade 1
    it states when it comes to math and reading readiness, She had not
    interest and tended to shy away and do other things.  Interesting uh?
    Good Luck.
    

    I just wanted to add a couple thoughts here...
    
    I read something several years ago that if you give your child anthing
    less than whole milk before their second birthday that it may hamper
    proper brain cell development.  I can't quote a source, seems to me it
    was in Parent's magazine though about 6 years ago.
    
    Second, I have also read that large quatities of Soy Lecithin is
    "supposed" to increase your short term memory, and as an adult benefit
    will also get rid of fat cells in the body, helping with weight loss.
    Again, I can't remember the source, and of course the usual disclaimer
    of "use this at your own risk."  
    
    Just my thoughts....
    Lyn