Conference moira::parenting_v3

    Not much - or not as much as you have during the second trimester. I
    found that I gained barely 1/2 lb. a week during the last couple
    months, and even had weeks of losing weight. Many women don't feel as
    hungry (who knows where your stomach has been displace to, anyway? :-),
    and the baby is literally taking everything you intake and adding it to
    brain and body fat development.  If you have "What to expect when
    you're expecting", check it out - they have the weight gain
    approximated by trimesters and for me, anyway, it was pretty accurate.
    

    If anyone had an absolute answer to your question I think you would
    have gotten it by now!
    
    Nobody knows!  Everyone's different!  Not the answer you want to hear
    I'm sure.  With my last pregnancy, during my last two months I must
    have put on 12 to 15 lbs. :-}  I gained a total of about 40.  I didn't
    want to, didn't try to, didn't eat more, just did.
    
    I never went according to the charts, I was all over the place with
    weight gain.  I used to read the charts and despair, sure I was going
    to be an overweight blimp for the rest of my days.  Sure that my
    thunderous thighs would follow me to my grave.
    
    I guess if you just eat sensibly, and try to get some exercise like
    walking, you can be assured that any weight gain in the remaining
    months will be baby-related, and not mom-related.  My doctor told me
    that in the last 3 or 4 weeks, a baby can gain up to 1/2 lb a week.  It
    always felt like more to me!
    

    With both my pregnancies, I gained most of my weight during the
    last two months.  Same as .2, I didn't eat more, it just happened.
    So, it is hard to perdict.  It really depends on your body.
    The good news is, as long as you eat healthy and exercise, all
    the weight gain will be gone sooner or later.  At least, that's
    my case.  I gained 40 lbs for both my pregnancies. Both times, 
    I lost all the weight gain in 3 months.  
    
    Don't worry.  Enjoy your pregnancy.
    
    Wendy 

    I have 6 & 1/2 more weeks left and I have already gained 30 lbs!  I
    expect to hit (or almost hit) 40lbs by the end.  I, like the others,
    can't eat much, 2 bites and I'm full, I'm getting "plenty" of exercise
    and I can't understand why I am still gaining this weight, but I am!  I
    have started to retaing water in my hands and ankles just last week or
    so.  So I guess I'm not getting rid of as much water as I used to.  I'm
    sure that has something to do with it.
    
    Good luck,
    
    Mel

	If you are supposed to stay under a certain weight for medical reasons, 
then your doctor should help you acheive that either by providing a diet or 
referring you to a nutritionist.

	The first thing I'd do is find out WHY the doctor is concerned about 
your weight.  My doctor warned me about weight gain toward the end of my 
preganancy but made it clear that he wassn't VERY concerned, it largely for MY 
benefit, i.e. I'd have a harder time taking it off after delivery.  (Even at 
that, he still reccomended a low fat. low salt diet to help.)

Tracey 

    1) Do what Tracey (.6) suggests, and
    
    2) Get a second opinion.
    
    Leslie

    
    Weight weight weight.....I think I'm obsessing.
    
    I have my regular ob checkup tomorrow and when I stepped on the scale
    this morning, those nasty digital numbers shocked me.  Seems I've
    gained eight pounds since my last appointment three weeks ago.  I
    haven't been eating a ton, don't think I'm retaining water 'cuz I can
    still wear my rings and my ankles look normal.  I'm bumming out 'cuz I
    know my midwife isn't gonna be very pleased, and I'm not very pleased,
    either.  According to "What to Expect...", the average weight gain per
    week is 1 pound.  I drink a ton of water, eat sensibly (except for some
    sweets but I don't think I've gone way overboard there), and had been
    walking regularly but the walking has cut down significantly.
    
    I'm 35 weeks along and had been having a tough time putting on weight
    until the 5th or 6th month, when I started gaining pretty regularly. 
    This really bothers me, I've always kept an eye on my weight and now I
    feel totally out of control.
    
    Has this happened to anyone else?  I have a friend/neighbor who is 2
    weeks behind me, we're the same height and about the same build, and
    she tells me she eats BAGS of chips/cheetos/etc every week, and she's
    only gained 13 lbs and gained nothing at her last checkup.  Here I am,
    feeling like El Blimpo, and I feel like my weight is careening out of
    control.  Not to mention that I'm afraid the baby is gonna turn out to
    be a linebacker! :^)
    
    Guess I just needed to vent (yet again.....).  Would love some support,
    words of wisdom, or similar "war stories".
    
    Thank God for this notesfile!
    Cherie

    
    Cheri,
    
    Don't worry so much about your weight.  The question is have you gained
    more than 30 lbs?  If not, then don't worry!  I gained a total of 24
    pounds with my daughter.  And I too thought that she was going to be
    this big bruiser of a baby.  She was only 7lbs!  I was very sick in the
    beginning of my pregnancy so I think that had alot to do with why I
    didn't gain alot of weight!  Because I ate everything in site!!!!!!
    That is very good that you are drinking alot of water!
    Try not to worry so much!!!!!!
    
    Good Luck
    
    Kim
    
    

    Don't know if this will help, but...  I'm 5'8 1/2, my "fighting weight"
    was always 145, and my ob/gyn was very relaxed about the weight issue. 
    Don't know whether he thought that my (tall, fairly large-boned) frame
    could take more weight than the average bear... but he just mentioned
    in passing that the guideline was 30 lbs overall pregnancy gain.
    
    I went from 145 to 190; baby weighed 8# 9oz, I weighed about 175 just
    after her birth, and I'm now about 155-160  :-(  .  I just refused to
    be bullied by anybody about my weight; luckily my doctor was very
    laid-back about it, though of course he was monitoring everything and
    would have become very strict if I'd developed gestational diabetes or
    whatever.  I was stressed-out enough about having quit cigarettes cold
    turkey, and *I* believe that eating too little does more damage to the
    fetus than eating too much.  *I* can always lose the extra weight (or
    say I'm going to at some distant date!) but the baby has no choice.
    
    Leslie

    I gained 33 pounds with my daughter and I am only 5' 1" tall. I started
    out at 134 and since the baby was born a yr ago i lost 20 more pounds
    118 now! I also ate everything in site and Danielle was only 8 lbs at
    birth. Some people just carry it better than others I carried all
    around not just the belly.  My sister-in-law gained 45 lbs with hers
    and her baby was 7lbs 7oz. Smaller than mine. So it's not exactly how
    much you eat that makes the baby big. They told me mine would be at
    least 9 lbs. I had little water gain and mild swelling. She had severe
    water gain and extreme swelling. Most of her weight was from water
    retension. My OB's associate told me once that I should cut down on
    eating or the baby would be big. But even the doctors can be wrong!
    
    sandy

    
    Well, at my last appointment I had gained 21 pounds....so that'll be
    29 pounds at this next appointment.  My weight has reached new plateaus
    that I never dreamed I'd ever hit.  I just can't get past the huge gain
    in the past three weeks....over 2 pounds a week?  This is awful! :^(
    
    I'm tall (5'9") and had been hiding it well....people still can't
    believe I'm 35 weeks along so I guess I don't have to worry about
    someone mistaking me for the Goodyear Blimp just yet.  My weight has
    always been a sensitive topic for me, and to be over the "average"
    weight gain really bothers me when I see others pig out on things I
    just look at, and they don't gain.  
    
    Who invented scales, anyway?  :^P
    
    Cherie

I did the same thing.  Normal or below average weight gain one visit, then 8 
pounds the next.  Yes, they are concerned about a jump in your weight.  BUT:
Only when it is accompanied by other factors like excessive water gain, higher
blood pressure, protien in your urine...

In my case the ultrasound tech was telling me the baby weighed 8 pounds at about
6.5 months.  Boy did that send me in a panic!  My doc said, never believe the 
weight they tell you, they can't know how big the baby will be until it is born.

when all was said and done, I had gained 32 pounds and Meagn was 2 weeks early
and weighed in at an average 7# 11oz.

W-

p.s.  I was pregnant during the winter, but the way I dressed when I went to get
weighed you would have thought it was summer.  This was after having a sweater
provide me with an external three pounds.!!

    
    	I think that weight is a very difficult topic for all pregnant
    women, after all we live in a society that tells us "thin is
    beautiful", in fact, most of us learned how to be on diets before we
    even entered High School.
    
    	Then we get pregnant and are supposed to FEEL GOOD about the weight
    gain. Sorry, but it takes more than hearing you're having a baby to
    make you feel good about "getting fat". The body that I have worked so
    hard to maintain is gone, and I'm to feel good about that?
    
    	Where I go, until recently, they weighed you on a scale in the
    hallway (where there were always lots of other patients - women and
    their husbands) and they would bellow your weight out to be marked on
    your chart. I felt like apologizing to everyone each time I had gained
    weight.
    
    	I have also NEVER seen my recent numbers on a scale before, my
    lands, what a shock! I personally know of one woman who sent her
    husband out of the room when they asked her her weight at the hospital
    for admitting, she was just too embarrassed about her gain to even let
    him know.
    
    	People are also coming up to me and telling me that I am HUGE,  how
    am I supposed to feel about that? Good because it's the baby or
    embarrassed that I appear to be so huge and perhaps if I had done my
    pregnancy right, I wouldn't be so huge? (to date, I've gained 23 pounds
    but it is all out in front and I hardly fit in anything anymore).
    
    	As long as you are eating well and drinking the water, let it be.
    Ackowledge that you don't like the weight but realize that there is
    nothing you can do about it.
    
    	Nine months is not enough time to undo years of training when it
    comes to weight and its obsessions. 
    
    
    				Wendy

    I gained 40 pounds with Steven and never lost any of it, and 45+
    pounds with David.  Both boys were medium (7.5-8.5 pounds).  I
    lost about 20 of what I gained last time and I'm back down to size
    16.  I'm 5'4" so I'm definitely on the round side right now.
    
    I've worked to get back in shape but I quit thinking about my
    weight some time ago.  As long as I can hike and play baseball
    with the kids, I don't much care. 
    
    --bonnie

    I was proud of being "huge"--because I equated it with growing the
    baby, not with "fat".  Granted, not all the weight was baby, placenta,
    amniotic fluid, etc.... but I was not turning into an obese person.  A
    little rounder in the face, a little more solid in the arms & legs. 
    But it mystifies me how people can feel that their belly is "fat" when
    it's a round, hard, and (yes, *large*) container!
    
    Leslie

I can't tell anyone else how they ought to feel, of course.  But if I
told a pregnant woman "My, aren't you huge!" (I wouldn't... but I might
think it) it would be an unequivocal expression of admiration.

I suppose there must be people who are firmly locked into the "small is
beautiful" cultural inditioning; but please believe that there are many
of us (especially those of us who are parents) who regard pregnancy as,
simply, special, and who view its outward manifestations with respect
and delight.

	-Neil

    
    Boy can I relate to this Note this morning!  (thanks Cherie!)
    I tried on 3 shirts before deciding on the one to wear. I usually try to
    avoid the big mirrors in the morning everytime I dress, when I am
    wearing my "usual" clothes that I know match or fit. Well, this morning
    everything was in the laundry and I had to mix and match another
    outfit and had to look in the mirror. YUCK! To turn sideways and see
    this body made me want to cry. (came close).  
    
    I too am tall, big-boned, and up util my 28 week check up last week I
    had only gained 7lbs. I was so thrilled with that!  And the doctor had
    said it was fine.  But I weighed in this month and have gained 7 lbs in
    just THIS month!  So now its 14lbs. Boo Hoo!  And I know its just going
    to go higher and higher every week now. 
    
    Alot of people tell me that I don't look that pregnant, and that I'm 
    "all baby"...but I sure don't feel that way. I feel like the good year
    blimp! I'm just trying to keep the attitude as Wendy said, there is
    nothing I can do about it now... And I try to keep in the back of my
    head that as every week passes towards having this baby, its one week
    closer to having my body back to MY CONTROL.  Diet city for me!
    
    On top of the "weight" issue...  Is there anyone out there measuring 
    "big" compared to what they should be???  I am measuring approx 4 cm
    bigger than I should be for this stage, and my doctor has scheduled me
    for an ultrasound this afternoon to see if this is just a big baby or
    what.  Anyone else had to have an ultrasound for this reason??? 
    
    Youre not alone Cherie!  (too bad youre in LA, we could cry on each
    others shoulders!)
    
    Chris
      

    This is sort of a related topic.  How many people have been asked if
    they are pregnant when they are not?  I had Allison over a year ago and
    am about at my starting weight but I still have a huge stomach.  I fear
    going to the beach in the summer because I'm sure someone will ask me
    when the baby is due.
    
    Just a few weeks ago at work someone asked me if I was expecting #3.
    Is this a common problem?  I do an exercise class once a week but have
    never been a real athelete.
    
    Karin 

    Just had to add my reactions here....
    
    First of all, when I was pregnant, I really tried to focus on the more
    positive aspects of why my body was the size it was. This was much
    easier earlier in the pregancy than near the end. However,I do remember
    several times that I got a depressed, worried, angry etc. at comments
    made by others. Once was when the doctor said 'wow' when he looked at
    my wait gain between two successive appointments (this was near the end
    of the pregnancy and I started to worry. If I remember correctly it was
    about 5 pounds in 2 weeks!) However, I stabilized and even lost a few 
    pounds near the end (which is quite normal). They figured that it was
    whatever I ate, drank or wore on that day or that the baby had a growth
    spurt. The only other time I got upset was when a 'friend' said "Boy,
    you're getting bigger every day. Are you sure it's not twins?". (At the
    time I was about 1 week from my due date. What would you expect at that
    time? I WAS huge. I just didn't want other folks to reinforce that.)
    More often than not, comments like those were balanced by more positive
    (almost to the point of making me blush) comments about my 'radiance',
    'glow', how terrific I looked, etc. True or not, they made my day (and
    I made sure those folks knew it!).
    
    As far as measuring big, practically throughout the whole pregancy I
    measured 1 week big, then near 30 weeks is went to 2 weeks, and at 36
    weeks I measured 3 (!) weeks big. They scheduled me for an ultrasound
    at that time. When I asked what it meant (i.e. early delivery, big
    baby, etc.), they said it could be a large baby, more than average
    amniotic fluid, or just how the baby was positioned. My ultrasound
    should that the baby was large (they estimated 9 lb. 1 oz. at term...
    well they were off the mark somewhat; Caroline was 1 day early from my 
    ultrasound due date (from ultrasound at 11 weeks) and weighed in at 
    8 lb. 4.5 oz. The really neat part about the ultrasound at 36 weeks was
    that they showed me the heart, kidneys, feet, hands, etc. and how
    everything was working fine (I didn't want to know the gender, so we 
    skipped that). That made it pretty exciting.   

    Well, I am 19 weeks now and am having a terrible time with my
    weight....I've always had a weight problem and have dieted practically
    my whole life...
    
    For the past 2 years I've been mostly on a low-carb, no sugar, no flour
    diet...I lost about 50 lbs total and put me at my fighting weight. 
    I ran 5 miles 4 times a week and was proud of being in shape.
    
    So once I found out I was pregnant I started eating fruit
    and bread, etc. again ( in moderation) but gained 8 lbs in 1 month!
    
    My doctor told me to eat more salads.  I told him I do not eat
    excessive amounts of anything and am careful about fat intake.  
    (Although an occasional sweet was a necessity)  He said my metabolism
    is changing due to the change in food consumption (sugar) and it is in a
    'starve' mode.  It is storing everything very quickly (thinking I'm
    going back on a diet any day) and causing me to gain weight quickly.
    Until I was pregnant, I never ate bread, fruit, grains, etc. (sugar)
    and if I did, I'd gain 2 lbs in 1 day.....
    
    I changed from running to walking and am trying to be active.  
    (I miss running alot....walking just ain't fun!)
    
    In 3 weeks I gained another 6 lbs.  I was/am devastated over this....
    What am I going to do?  I'm only 19 weeks and I've gained 14 lbs !!!
    
    My only hope is that maybe I won't gain too much more later (although
    it's doubtful!) My body loves FAT!  My husband can't believe
    it...but he is very supportive...The last time I weighed at the dr's 
    they had me get on 3 scales because they couldn't believe it!  How do 
    you only gain 2-3 lbs a month????  I seem to be doing it in 1 week!  
    
    Any other QUICK weight gainers out there?  I'm scared to death
    to get on a scale....I'm already bigger than a woman in my group
    that delivered at about 37 weeks (4 lbs, 11 oz)...she only gained
    11 lbs....
    
    So for those if you at 28 wks that have only gained 14 lbs....think
    of us that 5 lbs before you could finish saying the word 
    I'M PREG----NANT!
    
    Kristen
    

    I get the feeling that this weight gain is stressing you. Don't let
    it. Myself and others have gained (as previously mentioned) a lot more
    than you have in that space of time.
    
    Does it seem to be impacting your health? (does your Doc worry?)  I've
    always considered THAT a measure of whether or not someone is OVER
    weight.  Sometimes extra weight is just inconvenient, for you mental
    image of yourself and perhaps for your budget (can't fit into anything,
    gotta buy more clothes).
    
    If it turns out that after the baby's born, you've gained and kept
    on some of the weight, then do that weight-loss trick again. You
    succeeded before -- Be proud!
    
    And relax and enjoy your pregnancy! 8-)
    
    Monica
    
    

    Gaining too little weight is usually much worse than not gaining
    enough.  There's a definite connection between too little weight
    gain in the mother and low birth weight in the baby, and low birth
    weight in the baby is associated with lots of health problems,
    major and minor.
    
    I gained 45 pounds or more -- I kind of quit counting -- which for
    a 40-week pregnancy works out at a bit more than a pound a week. 
    Some of those weeks toward the end of the second trimester I
    gained 3-5 pounds in the 2-3 weeks between appointments...
    
    You might want to see if your doctor has a nutritionist who might
    be able to put together some kind of compromise diet that would
    take your special no-carb needs into account and still get the
    baby enough nutrition. 
    
    --bonnie

    
    Kristen...
    
    Just think, if you got down to your "fighting" weight once, you can 
    definatly do it again! Don't despair. We're all in the same boat, 
    maybe not the exact "poundage", but we all know what it feels like to
    get on that scale. So maybe just knowing that "youre not alone" will
    help. (I know it helps me sometimes)
    
    Take care...
    Chris
    
    (14 lbs at 30 weeks, and due to weigh in again on Thurs! Here we go!)
    (Up, up and away...+ + + + + + )  (trying to smile about it, crying 
     doesn't work:-)
    
    

    When I was pregnant with my daughter I gained 50+ lbs.  I ate
    everything in sight.  I would gain 5 lbs every two week visit.  Luckly
    I lost all but 10 of the lbs I gained but unfortunately I gained an
    additional 10 before I become pregnant with my second (30 wks along).
    
    My total weight gain so far is around 27 lbs and I am proud for not
    gaining so much with this one but at the same time it seems everytime I
    turn around someone is saying things like "Wow are you huge", "Are you
    sure its not twins", Are you due soon?.  It really hurts my feelings
    because I have been trying so hard to eat right and exercise.  I am
    short (5ft 1) and seem to be sticking out alot in front.  When I look
    at pictures of my last pregnancy I can see that my stomach is much
    larger this time but my butt is not as large.  
    
    I had a high sugar count during the last month of my first pregnancy
    and already my sugar is high again so my doctor put me on a well
    balanced 2000 cal a day diet.  It is definatly enough food but I find it 
    hard to make the time to prepare every meal so that I meet each of the 
    required catagories. I will splurge from time to time on something sweet.  
    It just seems that I have to have it or I will become obsessed with sweets
    till I get one.
    
    I do worry about how large I will be when I deliver but I try not to
    let it bother me too much.  There are many more things to worry
    about.  I am glad to hear from others with weight problems.
    
    Angie
     

    I hear that complaint a lot from women during their 2nd pregnancies...
    "I'm sticking out much more this time". I suspect this may be because
    the muscles have been pre-stretched. The belly says "oh yeah, I've done
    this before, I know what to do!"
    Be pleased with you success at watching your eating. I hope to 
    work at doing the same the second time around so that I too, don't end
    up as large as the first time.
    
    Keep up the good work!
    Monica          

    Boy does this bring back memories!  I gained 50 lbs!  (5'6" and
    normally between 125 and 130 pounds) And personally I don't think I 
    ate a ton!  Just normal eating and every time I went to the doctor 
    I had gained 5 or so.  Maybe it was alot of water, I don't know.  
    But I think your body does was is comfortable for your body! 
    My doctor kept saying, I don't know why you are gaining so much, but
    you look great, so I'll stop saying anything about it. (At first she
    mentioned it alot!)  I felt like I was at weight watchers everytime I
    went to the doctor.  I'd take off all my jewlry, hair bows, shoes, as
    much as I could!!!  
    
    Next time I will try not to gain as much, but if my body does it
    automatically.. the heck with it!
    
    ( I did lose it all in about a year.  Nursing helped!!!)

    I gained 45 lbs too! (also 5'6" and normally between 125 and 130 lbs)
    I didn't feel that I ate a ton either, and everyone always told me
    I looked great. But I always dreaded going to the doctor's because I
    would always gain 5 lbs whether I watched what I ate that month or
    even if I didn't. The doctor kept threatening to send me to a
    dietician. But it didn't happen. I have lost all of it plus some in
    the year following Christopher. I figured the baby needed it, and that
    I could lose it fast afterwards when it wouldn't effect the baby.
    
    I wouldn't worry too much about the weight gain, as long as you
    are healthy and walking each day!!!
    
    Good luck,
    Sheila