Conference moira::parenting_v3

    Is he pretty verbal? Perhaps you can try asking HIM what is different
    lately to make him so unhappy. 
    

    
    
    Yes,  He is very verbal.  I tried that and all he says is nothing has
    changed and he is himself at home.
    
    His behavior makes me feel like he is afraid that we're not going to
    come back for him but I can't figure out where he would get those
    feelings.
    
    Nothing has changed at home or in our family that could make him afraid
    that we wouldn't return.
    
    I don't know what to think!!!
    
    Michele
    

    Have you spent any time out of work with him lately (like vacation,
    etc)?  My son used to scream when I left him and then didn't want to go
    home with me when I went to pick him up.  It was a ploy to see if he
    could get me to stay home with him.  The sitter said as soon as I was
    out of the driveway he'd stop crying.
    

    I read recently that many kids have been showing anxiety over the war,
    and one example given was a child who thought his parents had gone to
    Kuwait when they were late picking him up one day.  It may seem a bit
    farfetched, but is it possible your son heard about children and parents
    being separated when the parents were called up to active duty and
    mistakenly has reached the conclusion that you might go, too?  I admit
    this is low probability!

			cheryl

    Would it make you feel any better if I said that I think's it's the
    age with little boys.  My son 2 3/4 started two weeks ago with the
    whining, etc.  Recently he seems like such a Mommie's boy that it is
    driving me crazy.  He IS doing this at home tho'....  Only difference
    with your son and mine.  I even pulled out our "child behavior" book
    the other night and they confirmed it.  It has sections that explains
    the different stages that kids go through in accordance with their
    ages.  Also - it does mention that boys go this type of thing more so
    than girls... with their mommies.  
    
    How about trying to see if your husband can do some dropping off in
    the morning - will he give him the same treatment???   It's worth a
    try...
    
    Lorrie
    

    I have to echo what .5 said.  I remember when my two sons were about 3,
    dropping them off every morning, and driving away with them at the
    window absolutely crying their eyes out.  It happened suddenly, after a
    period of contentment with the daycare center, so I couldn't figure it
    out.  With the first one, Nathan, it tore my heart out watching him
    crying and waving to me, telling me not to leave him.  And I did wonder
    if something bad was going on, that he couldn't tell me about.  It
    lasted about 2 months.  The teacher would tell me that after I left, he
    would calm down and be playing in about ten minutes.  And he was always
    very happily playing when I went to pick him in the afternoons.
    
    When it happened again with my second son about the next year, I
    remembered this stage with Nathan, and was able to understand it a bit
    better.  Because I do think it's a stage that boys go through with
    their Moms, particularly if they are very emotionally close with their
    Moms.  The parting in the morning is simply aa very emotional time for
    them, they understand on a different level that you are leaving, and
    they don't want you to.  I think it's the result of a certain maturing
    on their part, to the extent that they are aware of how much they love
    you, and just don't want you to leave.
    
    

I'm hoping it is just the age. My daughter turned 3 last week. She whines
about EVERYTHING! 

	WWWAAAAHH, I want to go for a ride with you. (Fine, lets go get your
								coat)

	WWWAAAAHHH, I don't want my coat on!! (I say fine, guess you can't come
	with me then. Put the coat back and start walking away)

	WWAAHHH, Put my coat on! (On goes the coat, "O.K. lets go)

	WWWAAAAAHHH, I want to stay here with mommy. (Daddy debates why he
							wanted children).

Overall, she is a well behaved, happy, child. This just came on in the past
few months. And, thank God, seems to be getting better as she realizes it
isn't helping.

							Mark

    It's pretty much the age.  I have had the same situation with my soon
    to be 4 year old and she has been in the same daycasre with the same
    teachers since 6 months of age!  She cries when we leave her and she
    cries when we pick her up.  It is getting better, the mornings are
    easier and the PM's are tolerable.  She will be 4 soon and we have been
    emphasizing with her that the "babies" look to her behavior as a model
    now that she is a "big kid".  That seems to be helping her through
    this.

    
    
    	I'll second what others have said about the age.  When Doug was 
    	about 3 years old, his problem was not so much the drop off as
    	the pick up.  He was so bad with the whining/crying that I wondered
    	why I even picked him up if he behaved so well for his daycare
    	provider! He would continue for about an hour or perhaps longer 
    	sometimes.  Weekends were fine.  
    
    	The only explanations I may have other than the age, is that both 
    	you and the child are going through a transition period (you from 
    	work and the child from daycare).  I also wondered if it had some-
    	thing to do with him protesting that Mom was not with him during 
    	the day and he was going to get his quota of attention from her
    	no matter how.
    
    	Hang in there.  As one or more noters have said elsewhere, this
    	too shall pass.
    
    
    					Darlene