Conference moira::parenting_v3

    IMHO-We as parents are the ones who are gifted and the children are our
    gifts.  I believe there is much to much emphasis put on things such as
    "gifted" or "advanced".  People develop different areas at different
    times.  One who might be considered academically advanced could be
    emotionally behind.  In the movie "BIG" last night we saw some good
    examples on this.  That movie started me thinking about different kinds
    of behavior.  
    
    Peace,
    
    Mike    

    
    Hi,
    
    	My father's wife keeps telling us about her grandchild who "has
    been proven giften" over and over and over again... in fact, she rarely
    mentions her other grandchildren, just this gifted one.  I have, on
    several occasions, wanted to tell her "all children are gifted" but I
    just haven't had the nerve (family dynamics).
    
    	Anyway, my daughter brought home a brochure from the same type of
    deal, only it's a summer camp called "College Academy".  It goes for 3
    weeks in the summer and they learn all kinds of neato things.  My
    daughter expressed an interest in going.  So, I sent for the
    application and sent it to school (for this one you have to get the
    teacher or someone to acknowledge that the person is in the top 10% of
    their class).  Her's came back with the "top 5%" marked...  needless to
    say I'm a proud mom...  
    
    	So, she'll go to this camp and my other daughter will also go to a
    camp.  However, I agree, my other daughter should have the same
    opportunity.
    
    	The way I look at it though, is that the daughter who brought home
    the pamphlet, brought it to my attention and expressed an interest to
    go.  My other daughter brought home the same pamphlet, and said she
    wasn't interested (she's only in 2nd grade - the other one is in 5th
    grade).
    
    	I don't know if I've said anything here... just related my
    experience.  
    
    
    					jean
    

    There are a zillion tests that you can have your kid take to
    determine if s/he is G&T (gifted and talented).  Most school
    districts do at least a little bit of this kind of testing.  The big
    advantage is that it places kids in classes where they're given
    challenges appropriate to their abilities.  For example, if tests show
    that Susie is gifted in math, she can be placed in an advanced class
    and/or given special projects that will nurture that gift and give her
    the kind of mental stimulation she needs.  The idea is, she won't be
    bored to tears in a "regular" math class and won't be disrupting the
    rest of the students.  In some high schools, kids can also take
    advanced placement classes that apply toward college credit.  My
    youngest brother rolled up the 12 credits of American history and world
    culture he needed to graduate a semester early - a blessing, since he
    put himself through.
    
    G&T means different things in different school districts and in 
    different areas of the country.  If you think your kids are smart and
    you want to have them tested, I would ask what your school district
    means by G&T, what services will there be for the child, etc., etc.
    Take your child's personality into consideration, too.  It's no good
    being in a G&T class if it means being a social outcast.  (On the other
    hand, don't let them get away with playing dumb just to be popular!)
    Resist the pressure to turn them into "the family genius."  No kid
    needs the pressure; neither do you.  School is not just about academic
    development, it is about social development as well.
    
    Most important of all, if testing does show that your child is G&T,
    keep after the school to provide her/him with appropriate classes,
    supplemental reading, etc., etc.  Don't let her/him fall through the
    cracks. 
    
    Been there,
    Kate 

    One important thing to remember is that because of the different
    developmental speeds, your gifted / talented child today may not
    continue to be so throughout school.  Your child may simply be
    very well advanced for her/his age.
    
    While it is right to nurture and help a child who shows advanced
    development, whether long term gifted or not, be aware that it is
    very easy to change that nurturing to "pushing" and that may cause
    problems.  It is also important to ensure that while you stimulate your
    child in the areas in which he / she excels, ensure that the child
    still gets not only an otherwise well balanced education, but also
    has a well balanced social life.
    
    Take this from someone who has experienced pushing .. someone who was
    allowed to focus too introspectively during childhood.
    
    Also if your child slows down, try to be aware there are any number of
    reasons why the child may stop producing "gifted" results, and it is
    critical at this stage not to push too hard.
    
    More thoughts later.
    
    Stuart

    
    When I was in school, one of my classmates, "Sheila," was obviously
    academically gifted.  She excelled in everything--(this is going back
    to grade school).  She was the best in math, the best in social
    studies, the best in english.  She was a brain.  She was also sweet,
    and socially mature.  Most of us "regular kids" enjoyed being around
    her--both in school and after school.  She was popular and well-liked
    (dismissing the stereotype of brains being "socially backward or
    nerdy).
    
    Her family sold their house and moved away when we were in 7th grade. 
    They moved to a town that had a very exclusive private school
    expecially for gifted children.  Sheila had a younger sister (1 year
    younger) who also appeared to excel in most things.  The big arguement
    around 6th graders was--who is smarter--Sheila or "Debbie?"  The family
    moved so that Debbie too, could attend the exclusive school for budding
    geniuses.
    
    Well, unfortunately, Debbie did not pass the entrance exams for the
    private school and was denied admission.  The talk around town was all
    about how terrible it was that the parents of Sheila and Debbie
    uprooted the whole family for this particular school--and now Debbie
    had to go to a public school that wasn't as good as the one they moved
    away from--how Debbie was going to suffer the rest of her life in
    shame--how terrible it was for their parents to do such a thing--how
    the mother of Sheila and Debbie was pushing them--all that kind of
    stuff.  I remember I just felt terribly sorry for Debbie and wondered
    how she would be able to live at home after being such a failure to her
    family.
    
    Well, twenty-some-odd years later I was watching a Phil Donohue show
    and lo and behold--there was Debbie.  She had just won a Pulitzer Prize
    in journalism.  Never did find out what happened to Sheila--I've never
    seen her on tv or heard her name mentioned.
    
    Goes to show, being gifted is fine--but it's not necessarily a marker
    for doing great things in life or for excelling in particular areas.
    
    Bonnie
    
    

    My wife had a *very* negative experience with being labeled as gifted,
    when in late grade school. She excelled in math, and got straight A's
    at all times. When she was in 6th grade, her school developed an
    accelerated program for 7th and 8th graders, and she was slotted into
    it in 7th grade. Basically, it taught 7th grade math the first half of
    the year, and 8th grade math the second half of the year. Then, in 8th
    grade, they learned Algebra I, or freshman high school algebra. In the
    first half of 7th grade, she brought home her first B...not big
    problem, but a sign that she was beginning to fall behind. In the
    second half of 7th grade, while now pushing ahead to 8th grade math,
    she reoutinely got C's. She bagen to compalin to her parents about not
    being able to keep up and understand. In 8th grade she was put into the
    Algebra course, and things went downhill rapidly. She got a D the first
    marking period and failed the next. Finally, the teacher acknowledged
    that there was a problem (her parents had been making waves for a
    while), if a previously straight A student was failing in just over a
    year's time. She got tutoring help, and managed to get D's her last two
    marking periods. The absolutely amazing thing is that, when she went to
    High School the next year they wanted to put her ahead into Algbra II!
    This, despite, 3 D's and one F in Algebra I! Her parents took a firmly
    negative stand on this and met with incredible pressure form school
    officials in the form of, "You'll embarrass her if you force her to
    repeat it.", and "The kids'll tease her and call her stupid if you make
    her repeat." Her parents insisted though, and, by repeating, she pulled
    her grades up again (from a C, to a B and then two A's that year). She
    was never teased, and *most importantly* she **Learned** the material!
    If she'd pushed ahead, not only would she have been set up for more
    failures, but hse would have learned *nothing*! After that year of
    returning to understanding and getting good grades (and, by the way,
    building up her confidence in herself again), she was able to go on to
    honors courses, which are basically the same course others get, but
    with a bit harder material thrown in. She excelled.
    
    So don't believe that being labeled gifted is always better...it isn't!
    Let them be themselves and work to the best of their capabilities. Seek
    help when necessary, and supplement with more challenging material when
    necessary. But (IMHO) "labeling" is never a good thing.
    
    --dave--

    
    Dave,
    
    	I agree with the thought that labeling is a very negative thing.  I
    just want to make it clear, though that it is important also to try to
    give a child enough of a challenge to make school interesting.  During
    the first quarter of the school year, my daughter goes crazy because it
    seems to her all they're doing is repeating what they learned the end
    of the previous year (which is somewhat true).  So for her to get into
    some sort of accelerated class might be good.
    
    	Anyway, the camp that she's going to "College Academy" does not
    teach college courses to kids in grades K-12.  They just have some fun
    stuff to learn in a different environment.  I don't know why the
    requirement is for the child to be in the top 10% of their class, but
    it is.
    
    	I did not grow up with having to worry about being called "gifted". 
    I was more concerned with being called "geeky".  Which wasn't easy
    either.
    
    	So, I think the thing is to just teach our children to accept
    eachother for what they are.
    
    
    
    						jean
    

    re: .0
    
    Jane,
    
    Could you include some more info. re: Kid's College?
    Phone number, address, etc.
    
    Much appreciated,
    
    kc
    

    From the Winter Semester brochure:
    
    KIDS COLLEGE - A World of Creativity & Excellence Through Learning and 
    Exploration
    
    Using the facilities of:
    	New Hampshire College, Nashua, NH
    	Notre Dame College, Manchester,NH
    	Derryfield School, Manchester, NH
    
    For Gifted and Talented Children  Age 4 - 13
    
    KIDS COLLEGE is a non-profit organization which proviceds a college
    setting where gifted students explore new ideas or intensively study 
    a topic with others of like abilities.  Enrichment activities are
    planned to broaden and challenge their individual potential. 
    ...
    
    Address:  KIDS COLLEGE, P.O. Box 281,  Hollis, NH 03049-0281
    
    Registrar: Nancy Riley (603)465-3422
    	
    Some of the courses - most are one 2-hr session on a Saturday:
    	Fun with Fossils
    	Aerobics for the Brain
    	Watercolor Painting
    	Hand Puppetry
    	Creating Tall Tales and Noodlehead Stories
    
    ***********************************************************************
    
    The Winter semester is almost over and sounds like it's full.  The next
    schedule, for April, comes out in March.
    
    I've talked to many people about this in the last week and now I feel 
    that these programs are for kids who are really into learning and 
    exploring new things.  I am no longer concerned with the designation
    as "gifted".
    
    Kids College accepts recommendations from 2 educators in place of
    testing.  I'm most comfortable going that route.