Conference moira::parenting_v3

    
    re.0
    
    Well, I was so busy after my second kid was born that I didn't have
    time to get lonely as I did the first time around. My older daughter
    was 5 when the second was born. I am not the domestic type either but
    I somehow found so many things to do around the house. I made and
    freeze baby food (enough to last a long while...). I stocked up
    my pantry and freezer, since it will be hard to keep going to
    the store for little things with 2 kids. I like to cook so I got
    to fix decent suppers when I was home. I did started daycare
    earlier so I could do things on my own.
    
    
    Eva.

    I had the same experience.  One thing that helped was making lunch
    dates with friends who don't have 9-5 jobs.  I usually see them only
    rarely and speak mainly by phone.  It gave me valuable time with them,
    both before and after the birth.  It forced me to get showered,
    dressed, and out, with the baby as well after her birth.  We went to
    casual restaurants with lunch specials.
    
    My mother also came from out of state before the birth and we had
    valuable time together, as well.  She helped me catch up on household
    things and baby shopping.
    
    I took out books from the library and read while I nursed the baby.
    
    Still got stir-crazy anyway, but remember how exhausted you were when
    you went back to work and the baby had you up at night?  Try to enjoy
    the sleep while you can.
    
    Before I went back to work, I treated myself to a nice new suit for
    work.  Larger than my normal size, but definitely NOT maternity.  It
    made me feel very good.
    
    Good luck on the impending,
    Laura
    

    When I had my 2nd, I was astounded by the amount of additional work - I
    would've been happy to have been bored!!  It might be nice to keep your
    3 year old home 1 day a week or shorten his days a little (which will
    fill up YOUR days a _lot_), or take him out to lunch or something. 
    He'll be going through enough adjustment trying to deal with this
    'other person' who takes all this time and attention, that some
    special attention (in the beginning esp) might help him adjust.
    
    If you're adamant about keeping him in his daycare for his regular
    time, you could think about driving someplace that you normally
    wouldn't go.  To the factory outlets in Maine (assuming you live in the
    NE), out to the beach to just sit in the car by the shore.  It'll just
    be you and the baby so if you have to stop a few times along the way,
    it's just part of the trip.  We used to go to the Mall a lot.  It was
    nice just to hear the noise!!
    
    Good luck - and don't underestimate the amount of additional work
    you'll have - it's TREMENDOUS!!
    
    

    I'd like to second the notion of taking the 3 year old out of daycare
    once in awhile. The 3 year old in my daughter's daycare whose mother
    just had twins was still coming to daycare for a full day and even
    though this boy never had a problem being there or playing with the
    kids, when he knew his mother was at home with his sisters, he kept
    asking if he could go home all day.                      

When my third was born last year, Steven was 5 and in kindergarten.  We 
left his routine as unchanged as possible even though I elected to stay
home for the full maternity leave.  I did take him out of school for 
special days off, and we did things like eat in Sargant's Park or Greeley
Park (Nashua).

I took a lot of walks with the baby in the front carrier.  I had lunch with
both work and non-work friends.

I read a lot, and spent a lot of days just sleeping while the baby slept
and waking up when he slept. 

And I was glad to get back to work, though I was sorry to be not at home.
No perfect solutions this time . . .

--bonnie

Anne,

You mention that you like to excercise...  Most YMCA's have "Baby and 
Me" excercise programs that are great fun.  You excercise with your 
baby right there, the exercises are especially geared for the early  
post-partum body, and you get to meet other Moms as well.

The other option is that some workout places offer babysitting for 
the time you are there.  Our town pool does as well.

FWIW, my daughter stayed in day care, when the baby came, just with 
slightly shorter days.  She had had so much disruption in her life 
with a new house and a new baby within 6 weeks that she needed her 
school routine to stay the same for stability.  I think it helped her 
a lot.

Have fun and whatever you do, the time is guarenteed to fly!
Norma

         When I was home with #2, I also kept #1 home.  I wanted to use the
    time to be a full time mother to both of my sons.  For my oldest son, I
    enrolled him in a swim/gym class at a local Y.  He really enjoyed that. 
    I also joined a weekly mother's playgroup which was good for me as well
    as the kids.
    
         I did lots of projects around the house, but my biggest pride and
    joy was building my rose garden.  I was home during the spring months
    and spent one month every day digging junk dirt out and refilling good
    loam in.  I only worked on the garden while my kids were taking their
    naps which lasted 3 hours.  Needless to say, it is great exercise and
    it helped me get back down to a normal shape!
    
          Enjoy the time off while you can!
    
    Diane
    

    I am looking for some peace-of-mind advice...
    
    I am getting anchious, bored & fustrated with my time.
    I have been slowly putting the babies room together (moved it
    around about 20 times now).  My husband is getting a little irretated
    about that.
    
    I find myself talking about the baby too much, every night & day...
    
    I work full time but still can not seem to pre-occupy myself with
    something else.  I feel like I am going nuts waiting for Feb. 4...
    
    How do or did other mothers-to-be handle the last 10 weeks?
    
    Thanks for any tips
    JOAN..
    

    To occupy my time during the last few weeks, I did the following:
    
    1.  Wash every single piece of baby clothing in baby soap and Downy,
    fold it and put it away.  I did this about 7 times.
    
    2.  Do some Christmas shopping.
    
    3.  I got into ceramics.  That really kept me busy.  I made photo
    frames, nik-nak jars, piggy banks, lamps, etc.  Time really passes
    quickly when I did these things.
    
    4.  Go over the baby name list.  Are you sure you really like the name
    you picked out.  Go through a baby name book again, just to make sure.
    
    5.  Make a baby blanket. 
    
    6.  Get a paint-by-number set and do one.
    
    The remaining 10 weeks will go by pretty quickly, especially with the
    holidays here.  My best advise is to take on a long term project like
    crafts and stuff.  If you don't know how to do ceramics or needlepoint
    or whatever, take a class.  They're not expensive and they'll occupy
    your time.
    
    Good Luck!!
    
    Gail

    Address all the baby announcement envelopes (or at least get a list
    going).
    
    Cook til you drop, and freeze it all in single-dinner sizes.
    
    Go out window- (or Christmas-) shopping by yourself... it may be months
    before you'll get to do it again!  Sure, you'll get time off thanks to
    husband or babysitter... but you may not really want to leave the baby
    at all, and time alone may not seem attractive in the least.  Do it now
    so you can remind yourself later that you got it out of your system.
    
    Leslie

    Also, get film in the house.  We had three rolls and thought that was
    great (we rarely took pictures before). The rolls were used in two
    days.  Get picture albums ready to use.  I had to buy two more durng
    the first month and was not up to going out until I felt comfortable
    that the baby would not scream madly the minute we left the house.
    
    I agree with the announcement addressing - that was a godsend doing it
    early.  I also made alist of things I would not be oding very much
    after the baby was born (reading a good book, going to a restaurant,
    going shopping, visiting friends on the spur of the moment.
    
    I also spent time during lunch visiting the daycare providers house
    watching the other children and confirming that this is where I wanted
    my child to go.  Spent time interviewing Pedi's after work.  Had
    childbirth classes one night a week for 8 weeks.  Talked with friends
    who had kids to make sure I had what I needed (though after the baby is
    born you find what you like and want more of it i.e. which type of
    sleepers you like best, which style of underwear, how many receiving
    blankets, etc).
    
    I also began reading the book "The First Twelve Months" that I got from
    my sister-in-law so that I could begin to know what would be happening
    in the first few months.  That helped me get a head start as the first
    two months I was so busy I did not have a chance to read anything.
    
    Enjoy, hope this helps.
    
    Michelle 

RE: .12     Michelle 

>    in the first few months.  That helped me get a head start as the first
>    two months I was so busy I did not have a chance to read anything.

   Wow... only the first 2 months... that's pretty good from what I've
   seen with our kids...  :-)  :-)
   
   - Tom

    Yes Tom, I guess I really have adjusted by now.  The first two months 
    was the comatose stage, now it is just a continuous semi-conscious.  
    I should have added that I cannot remember when I was last bored;
    certainly not in the last 15 months.
    
    Michelle :-)

Seven weeks to go, plenty to keep me busy.

I have stopped reading about pregnancy now and have started reading
about when the baby is born, what to expect, how to get them to
sleep through the night etc. 

There is plenty to do there. I have still to pack my bags too, although 
I think I have all the bits and pieces.

Excercise keeps me busy too, as I have this idea I want to give
birth in the squatting position and you need to practise hard for that!

Another thing that keeps me busy is seeing people at lunch times
as I will probably not see a lot of them after the birth at least
for a long time. I must admit that I try to keep the baby talk to
a minimum there especially with the ones who don;t have children.

It used to annoy me when other people did that. Having said that
it sometimes is just impossible and I do have days where I think
I must have bored people to tears with it. Then you only go
through this once in you life (for the first time that is).

I give up work in three weeks and I intend to keep busy by making
some baby clothes......


Silvia