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Conference moira::parenting_v3

Title:Parenting
Notice:READ 1.27 BEFORE WRITING
Moderator:CSC32::DUBOIS
Created:Wed May 30 1990
Last Modified:Tue May 27 1997
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:1364
Total number of notes:23848

658.0. "Being Bombarded by War coverage" by NEWPRT::WAHL_RO () Mon Jan 28 1991 15:22

    
    How much "War news" is enough?  We have an almost six year old who
    is being subjected to "war news" almost all the time.  I finally 
    got my husband to agree to turn off CNN yesterday and take a break
    from the news.  Then we went to church and the entire service was
    devoted to explaining the horrors of war and praying for peace! Not to
    mention it was a children's service.
    
    I'd like to hear how other parents are handling the exposure of their
    children to "War news".
    
    Rochelle
    
    P.S.  Due to the events in the Middle East, the T.V. has been on 
          a lot more than normal.
T.RTitleUserPersonal
Name
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658.1Self-limiting. You can only watch 30 mins news for so longKAOFS::S_BROOKOriginality = Undetected PlagiarismMon Jan 28 1991 18:2027
    Interesting ... but I think the problem solves itself in that it is
    self limiting ... all you have to do as far as your child is concerned
    is to make sure that he/she is not harbouring unasnswered questions or
    fears that a SCUD missile is going to land on your own house!
    
    We watched a lot of news for the first few days and gradually we're
    down to a more normal level.  I was listening to a satirical radio
    program called the "Royal Canadian Air Farce" that has been running
    many many years over the weekend.  One of the skits was specifically
    regarding news coverage.
    
    CBC TV announcer :
    
    "This is Peter Mansbridge for CBC News.  We'll be right back with
    continuous 24 hour coverage of 30 minutes worth of news"
    
    and the next ...
    CTV announcer:
    
    "We'll take you over to CBS for this special report from the gulf"
    "This is CBS ... We've been provided with this special NBC news feed"
    "This is NBC ... ABC has just obtained the following clip from CNN "
    
    It's lots of waffle and we are at last recognizing it, so I don't think
    it is a long term concern.
    
    Stuart
658.2WORDY::STEINHARTTue Jan 29 1991 11:1512
    Did you see the Mr. Rogers clip?  He says that children need above all
    to be protected.  We must reassure that they will always be safe. 
    Don't know about TOO MUCH news.  Mine is still a baby.
    
    If your kids are older (at least 6), look in the HPSCAD::ISRAEL_GULFWAR
    notes file, note 24.  There are notes written by two children in Israel
    giving their reactions to the crisis.  It personalizes things, shows
    how ordinary kids are coping, and is food for discussion.  
    
    At least in the US we can honestly say the war is far away.  Its sad
    for those parents in the war zone whose reassurances must feel pretty
    hollow.
658.3Text from Israel_gulfwarWORDY::STEINHARTTue Jan 29 1991 11:30202
         <<< HPSCAD::CARLSBERG:[NOTES$LIBRARY]ISRAEL_GULFWAR.NOTE;1 >>>
                 -< Information and Communications on Israel >-
================================================================================
Note 24.1                       Children's view                          1 of 17
TAVENG::MONTY "No more Mr. Nice"                     82 lines  23-JAN-1991 23:16
                      -< Channi (aged 9) Thurs 17/01/91 >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The following was written by my daughter Channi, aged 9, during the night 
of Thursday 17 - the first Iraqi SCUD attack on Israel.

Unfortunately, my translation looses some of the feelings, expressed in the 
original.

My comments and explanations are in brackets.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

The evening before the war broke out, I was very bored. There was no school 
(**due the situation, the Ministry of Education shut down all the schools, 
initially from Wednesday 16/1  till Sunday 20/1**).

Earlier in the evening I had watched television, but there was just news. 
Eli (**8 year old brother **) was glued to the television news, and didn't 
want to listen to songs on the other channel.  So I went to bed. I woke up 
very early in the morning, about 2a.m, and  started thinking all sorts of 
weird thoughts. Suddenly Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh (** alarm sound**)
I was confused. What is it ?  Gas ??  Anything but that !!   Eli !  

I started thinking. I ran quickly to Mummy and Daddy, they had also heard 
the siren. We all ran into the sealed room.  Mummy told me to put on socks, 
slippers and and a sweater (**in case of gas - less body area exposed**).
Daddy ran to get my fish (**Channi is very attached to her two goldfish**).
I stayed close to Mummy and Daddy.  Mummy unfortunately, started to phone 
her friends (**Channi didn't realize at the time, what my wife was doing. 
She wanted to ensure that certain people had also heard the siren**). I was 
terribly tense. 

Daddy  made sure that everyone in the family was awake and we put the
plastic demonstration filter on the gas masks instead of the real filter
(**I couldn't believe that we were really under attack**), and we listened
to the radio. Suddenly we heard: The siren sounded across the country is
real emergency siren (** not a training one **). I didn't know what to do.
Daddy quickly got out the gas filters. I was terribly afraid. Mummy helped
me put on my gas mask.  She nearly strangled me, but when we screwed on the
air filter, I felt much better. I suddenly was in good spirits, I felt as
if I was breathing clear fresh air. Dina (** 3 year old sister **) didn't
want to put on her Bardas (** special gas mask for small kids **). She
screamed.  Avi (** 8 month old brother **) screamed in his Mamat (** special
tent for babies and small children **). 

I was really afraid for Avi, It wasn't very nice in the Mamat. Mummy
soothed him down. After that, she talked to me. 

I was really frightened. Daddy succeeded in convincing Dina to put on her 
gas mask. I worried like I don't know what !! Eli wasn't comfortable in his 
gas mask and Naomi (** 6 year old sister **) was crying in her gas mask. 

I started getting annoyed with Avi's screams in the Mamat. Mummy said we 
should get all the (**atrophine**) injections ready. I went to help and 
tried to explain to Daddy that the green syringes were for the children and 
the white ones for the children.  After that Eli reminded me about the 
fish. I took out the plastic bag from the gas mask box and placed it over 
the fish bowl. All the time the radio kept broadcasting that the siren was 
the emergency siren  and they kept giving instructions on how to put on the 
gas masks. All the time I was frightened that I wouldn't have enough air. I 
was very confused when they said that over an hour had already passed. 

Avi cried loudly in his Mamat and crawled around inside it. Mummy looked 
for his pacifier.  Daddy told me to cuddle Naomi who was still crying. After 
that I went to play with Dina.   Dina tried pressing the switch on her gas 
filter (** the small children's gas mask has a small battery powered pump 
to push the air through the filter **).  I called Daddy and he told her to 
stop. I told her that there were little teddy bears dancing around her air 
filter. I was so frightened now. I helped Mummy as much as I could.  I said 
"shema" (** prayer **). 

Suddenly they said on the radio that we could take off our gas masks, so we
took them off. Mummy took Eli out of his Mamat. I drank something.  Mummy
said she was very proud of us all.  I started to draw but I could draw
anything, so I listened to the radio.  After some time the radio broadcast
something in French (** the all clear message and explanation was broadcast
in a few languages **) what I picked up was the word "vendur", after that
they broadcast the same thing in Russian. 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(** After that, the radio broadcast that everyone could leave their sealed 
room, so we all left the room and Channi stopped her description **) 
    
================================================================================
Note 24.2                       Children's view                          2 of 17
TAVENG::MONTY "No more Mr. Nice"                     27 lines  23-JAN-1991 23:31
                   -< Eli (aged 8) letter to Saadam Hussein >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Following is a letter my 8 year old son wrote to Sadaam Hussein a few
    days ago.

    							...... Monty

    ---------------------------------------------------------------------
    Dear screwed-up Sadaam Hussein,

    You are making a lot of problem here.  Look, I couldn't care less that
    you send us missiles, G-d is looking after us, BUT DON'T SEND IN THE
    MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT !!!!!

    Did you know that because of you, there is a News broadcast on the
    television instead of "Cops and Robbers" (** Eli's favorite TV program,
    an American cartoon series **), and I also missed the Pink Panther. SO
    STOP SENDING MISSILES !!!  

    So goodbye (** Eli used the Hebrew term Shalom**) and hope never to see
    you (** ve lo le-hit'raut **),

    From someone who sincerely hates you,

    			Eli Sagal.

    P.S. If you continue sending us missiles then ..... I'll think of
         something to do to you.
================================================================================
Note 24.3                       Children's view                          3 of 17
ATPS::BLOTCKY                                        20 lines  24-JAN-1991 17:38
                     -< Thank you for posting your notes >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> Unfortunately, my translation looses some of the feelings, expressed in the 
> original.

    Don't worry about it.  Reading your translation I am sure all parents
    can image how your children must have felt, if not what being in such a
    situation is really like.  Thank you for sharing this.

    On U.S. TV they have shown Israeli families, parents and children, in
    gas masks.  I haven't been able to imagine, till now, what might be
    going through the children's minds.  I have a 5 year old son who has
    been asking questions about the war.  I have been hoping he would not
    ask about the children in gas masks because I didn't have any idea what
    to say about it because I found the whole idea of children HAVING to
    wear gas masks appalling.  But know I think I can talk to him about it.

    Compared to living somewhere missiles are falling, being able to
    explain something to a 5 year old living in safety is a very little
    thing.  But still, thank you.
    
    Steve
================================================================================
Note 24.4                       Children's view                          4 of 17
DECSIM::GROSS "The bug stops here"                    4 lines  24-JAN-1991 15:13
                           -< Protection for pets? >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What do people in Israel do to protect pets during an attack? Are there
such things as gas-masks for animals?

Dave
================================================================================
Note 24.5                       Children's view                          5 of 17
TAVENG::MOTI                                         42 lines  25-JAN-1991 06:42
                                 -< children >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Hi,
    
    My eldest daughter Ortal, (aged 3), was prepared in her Kindergarten,
    that something like Purim might come (Purim is a festival in which we
    all dress up, and some people also put funny masks on).
    
    When the television showed how different type of gas-masks are to be
    put on , we always called her , and when she saw the one she has, she
    shouted happily : "This is like mine, I also have one".
    
    (By the way, we have about half a dozen different gas masks for
    different ages, including some battery-run ones that also send air
    into the mask etc.. for children and asthmatic people etc...)
    
    When the first attack came, it was around 2 a.m., and when we woke her
    up and told her that it was time to put her mask on, she said:-
    "Goodie"...
    
    Chilling, isn't it ?
    
    Children get used to things. The last time we took her gas mask off,
    she said :"Don't forget to switch off the battery."
    
    The 2 baby twins are inside a special apparatus of their own, (one for
    each one), and although they do not exactely enjoy the whole thing,
    they still, more or less, manage.
    
    May G-d bless all the little children who are subjected to this trial,
    and may he bring upon Sadaam Hussein and all his
    helpers/sponsors/followers/sympathisers all the curses in the Bible and
    the 10 Plagues he had brought upon the Pharohs in Ancient Egypt when
    they mis-behaved.
    
    And to the rest of world,
    
                               G-d bless you.
    
                                                    Moti.
    
    
    
    
658.4Suggestions to Help Children CopeMARLIN::HOOPERTue Jan 29 1991 14:5936
    Here are some suggestions from a presentation made here at Littleton...
    
    o  Maintain normalcy
    	- Don't have the tv on all the time
    	- Keep routines normal
    	- Talk about things	
    	- Plan activities
    
    o  Provide reassurance that they will be save and that you
       will always take care of them.
    
    o  Provide information that they can take in
    	- Don't expect kids to understand all at once
    	- Expect questions and confusion
    	- Share your feelings and view
    	- Check on their understanding
    	- Don't let kids watch TV alone
    
    o  Let them know its OK to express feelings
    	- Don't hide your feelings (don't use your children for support)
    	- Be honest, a child knows when you're not being honest
    	- A child's imagination can be worse than reality
    
    o  Do something
    	- Pray together (Note:  We started to light a large white candle
          at dinner each night...)
    	- Have a moment of silence together
    	- Write letters to the military and/or congress
    
    
    From:  Noreen Kavanaugh, LCSW
    Employee Assistance Program
    DTN 381-2884
    1/18/91
    
    Hope this helps -- Julia
658.5Radio?POWDML::SATOWTue Jan 29 1991 16:345
A totally off the cuff suggestion.  If you _must_ have continual coverage, do 
at least part of it by radio.  Radio tends to be more factual anyway, and is 
easier to tune out than the tv.

Clay
658.6The Walkman!NEWPRT::DDSPRODTue Jan 29 1991 17:1314
    
    Thanks to everyone for your answers - I was particularly touched by the
    Israeli childrens' notes.  
    
    We took Clay's suggestion and my husband now listens with his walkman
    - still can't find the CNN radio station here though. (So. Calif.)
    
    My mom had a suggestion too, she said to donate a pint of blood at
    the Red Cross - they're tuned into CNN all the time too!
    
    
    Pray for Peace, (in my home too!)
    
    Rochelle