Conference moira::parenting_v3

Easy question for us.  We never did it separately.

Clay

    1.  Zero months.  We've always just thrown it in with everybody
        else's.
    
    2.  We don't use fabric softener on anybody's clothes.  We stopped
        several years ago when the budget was short and never started
        again.  Without it, I have fewer sinus attacks (I'm allergic
        to several common fragrance chemicals) and we all have less
        problem with dry skin.  And clothes seem to last longer.
    
    --bonnie

    I also never did the baby's laundry seperately.  If I used and washed
    my own cloth diapers, I would do them seperately but certainly not
    his clothes.   I wash all personal attire seperately from towels
    and cleaning rags; ours or baby's.
    
    cj/

    I washed my first daughter's clothes separately in special detergent
    (Dreft) 'till she was about 6 or 7 months old. 
    
    For my second daughter I went through only one  box of Dreft.  When
    that was done, it was into the wash with everything else.  You can tell
    there was a slight attitude shift here.
    
    I use softener very infrequently (for static cling on my stuff).  The
    kids can have clingy clothes; their stuff goes without it.
    
               

    I often wash baby laundry separately because I do it more often than
    the other laundry (I try to keep it down to twice a week).  I don't wash
    it any differently, though.  Same washer cycle, same detergent, no
    fabric softener for anybody.

			cheryl

Never did ... except for diapers.

We use conventional detergents and not the soaps ... and as for Zero, my wife's
opinion of that, especially in our water, is described by its own name.

Stuart

    I always wash baby laundry separately.  However, I don't use any
    special detergent.  And I never use fabric softener on baby's
    cloth, but I do use it on ours.  I think it is just a habit.  
    Do what's easiest for you.
    
    Wendy

Many washing machine manufacturers recommend that you don't use soap
(e.g., Ivory Snow) because soap scum gums up the machine.

    
    Ditto, Ditto ...
    
    We, too, NEVER separated the baby's clothes from ours.  We use
    liquid Tide (or Wisk occasionally) and ALWAYS liquid Downy.
    I also use Clorox-II  (just a dab, though!).
    
    JA never had any problems with this.
    
    On a side note, JA had a TERRIBLE time with Ivory in the bath.
    We switched over to Baby-Nutragena (bar soap) and still use it at
    14-1/2 months.  Squeaky-clean kid ... lasts "at best", one hour!
    
    Dottie
    

When Sammy first came along, we washed his cloths in a separate
load in a no-phosphate, baby safe detergent. We have certain
amount of chemical allergies so we had used Amway SA8 along so
when we heard that SA8 was ok for infants, we started washing his
cloths with ours.

We started to use a presoak enzyme from Amway so we never use
static guard type stuff in the dryer.

cal

    Two boxes of Dreft and then it was in with everyone elses. The first
    box was probably used pre-baby when I was fanatical about washing
    everything before the baby wore it. I occasionally washed my son's
    things seperately when  he seemed to have a load of clothes that were
    all stained and needed a pre-wash cycle as well. I didn't use those
    real smelly softeners on any of our clothes because they make us sneeze
    but I did use either "simple smelling" dryer sheet. AS he moved into
    solid food, I started using one of the stain sticks that can sit on the
    clothes for up to 10 days, would treat the stain immediately and put
    the clothes into the laundry bag and not worry about it.
    
    Andrea

    I do use one of the baby detergents..Dreft.., but for the life
    of me I couldn't figure out why I was doing it.  I think I originally
    started to use it because I thought it was surpose to be easier on
    the baby's delicate skin.   I used it for my daughter until she was
    about a year old, then one day I just stopped.  (probabally ran out)
    
    But once again when my son was born I used the Dreft.  This time I
    read the box to see why I was using this stuff.. the only thing I
    found different from this detergent an the one I regularly use is
    that Dreft says something about retaining the fire retardancy of
    clothes longer.  I'm sure once this bottle runs out I'll use regular
    detergent on his clothes too.
    
    -Julie

   We too have never separated the kids clothes from our own.  And
   like Cal, we have been using the Amway laundry supplies - soap,
   pre-wash, softener, all-fab bleach... the whole shooting match.
   Never had any problems with the kids reacting to the stuff.
   
   - Tom
   

    Like Cal and Tom, I too use only Amway laundry supplies (aside from
    the occasional clorine bleach) and have been washing my son's clothes 
    along with our own since the day he was born and we've never had any 
    problems.
    
    Lori B. 

    I always used the same detergent on the kids' clothes (currently using
    Amway also).
    
    However, I do their laundry separately because they each have a hamper
    in their room and are responsible to put their clothes in it.  Since
    each one is about one washerful, I find it easier to do one load of all
    Caileigh's clothes, put them away, one load of all Paige's clothes, put
    them away, etc.
    
    Tracy
    

    
    I stopped using Dreft when Hannah was about 10 weeks old.  I found that
    it didn't get stains off her clothes at all.
    
    I started using the same laundry detergent I use on our clothes
    (whatever is cheapest in the supermarket when I go shopping!), plus
    either Vivid or Clorox II.  I wash her clothes separately, since I wash
    them in warm water.  I find that washing in warm water really makes a
    difference when it comes to getting out stains.  I wash our clothes
    in cold water.
    
    I don't use fabric softener on her clothes--but I do use dryer sheets
    for the static.  I can't stand folding clothes that have tons of
    static--so it's as much for my convenience as it is for her comfort.
    
    Bonnie
    
    
    
    

    Funny, just this weekend my husband asked me if we should just throw
    15 month old Eric's dirty clothes in with ours.  I prefer not to because
    with static cling, we'll never find his little socks up our sleeves,
    etc.  Also, we throw his dirty laundry in a basket in his room and 
    it's easier to just pick it up and toss it in the washer by itself.  
    We used Dreft and Ivory for a few months then switched to Cheer-free 
    (no perfume).  I have used anti-static sheets in the dryer but they 
    leave a funny feeling on Eric's clothes.  
    
    Donna
     

    The reason Dreft protects the fire retardency is because it is a
    detergent as opposed to a soap (like Ivory Snow). *Any* detergent will
    do the exact same thing. My father-in-law, an appliance repairman for
    30 years, is dead set against Ivory Snow, or any soap, because it
    positively ruins the rubber parts of a washer. Claims most any machine
    would last twice as long if only detergent were used.
    
    We never washed kids clothes separately, and occasionally use fabric
    softener, if we felt it necessary.
    
    --dave--

    
    I guess I'm the only holdout.  I use liquid DREFT on almost all of my
    6 month daughters laundry -- occasionally I throw in my delicates with
    hers and do them together.
    
    I washed her brothers clothes separately until he was potty-trained -
    didn't really want his stuff with mine (especially bibs).
    
    I have always used dryer sheets on lights and whites - I like the
    smell!
    
    BTW - I HATE LAUNDRY!!!!!!!!!!!!! I do at least 12 loads per week for 
    the 4 of us.
    
    Rochelle

    soaps like ivory won't clog or damage machines if a laundry
    booster like arm and hammer is used to chelate the minerals
    in the water..
    
    and they are better for people with allergies and are not as
    abrasive on clothes.
    
    BJ

    Kat was allergic to the dryer sheets -- she got a skin rash from
    wearing clothes that had been dried in it.  Otherwise I would
    still be using those -- they really reduce the static. 
    
    I've found that the store brand of dry bleach (Market Basket in
    our case) works as well as Clorox II and is half the price, or
    less.  Dry bleach plus Tide will take out almost any stain the
    kids have managed to come home with and is very good for dirt 
    and food stains.  
    
    We usually have between 4 and 7 loads of laundry a week for a
    family of 5, including towels.  No diapers. 
    
    --bonnie

    With respect to the dryer sheets, I've always hated the film
    they leave on clothes but also can't stand static cling.  I've
    found that if I use about 1/3-1/4 of a sheet, static is greatly
    reduced without leaving much residue on our clothes.  Cheaper, too!
    FWIW, cj/

    Like Donna, my daughter's clothes go into her hamper in her room
    and it's just easier to do her laundry separately.  Come to think
    of it, we do all of our laundry separately in our house - my husband
    handles his own and my step-son's and 1/2 the time does the baby's
    and I do mine and the sheets and towels and the baby's the other
    half of the time.  I used to use Dreft when she was small but I
    think I just ran out one day when she was about 8 months old and
    just stopped buying it.  We use whatever my husband feels like buying
    when he does the grocery shopping.
    
    - Kathryn
    

    	   { seems to be everybody's favorite topic! }
    
    I can't imagine doing the kids' clothes with mine (or each other's)
    because it would add an extra sorting step.  For about a year they've
    been doing all their own sorting, and Aaron puts his completely away. 
    They wouldn't also sort them out from other people's clothes, I don't 
    think.  But it has never been anything but a sorting issue (I didn't
    like having to sort Aaron's newbord t-shirts out from mine, either).
    
    I've never used fabric softener on any laundry, and almost never use
    bleach on anything.  I have only used cold water for about 15 years, since
    a Consumer Report study found it worked as well as warm or hot.  I've 
    never heard of special soaps for babies.  On the other hand, for the
    last two years or so, I usually don't use _any_ soap or detergent on
    the kids clothes.  Doesn't seem to me to make much if any difference.  They
    look like raggamuffins because of tears, holes, chewed cuffs and necks, 
    and weird combinations of colors/patterns, not because of dirt or stains.
    
    		- Bruce

    I do my daughter's laundry separate from ours because her clothes don't
    get as dirty as ours -- and the thought of her clothes agitating around
    with my husband's socks, well...
    
    As far as the type of detergent, I was wondering the same thing myself. 
    (Actually, I think my Mom was more concerned).  I looked at the Dreft
    label and the Tide label and couldn't see too much difference so I
    called the Proctor and Gamble 800 number on the back of the bottle. 
    What they said is that Tide (and probably other brand name products)
    are tested to insure that they can handle the kinds of soil that a baby
    would produce.  Dreft is suppose to be more gentle on your baby's skin
    as opposed to Tide in my case.
    
    What it probably boils down to is, does your baby have a reaction to
    the detergent/softener that you use?  If yes, then you'll probably have
    to continue to do the laundry separately with special detergent, if
    not, do what works best for you.
    
    Jane

    I washed JT's clothes separately and used Dreft for the first few months 
    and then I started doing his stuff separately but with regular
    detergent - but, I always double rinsed his stuff.
    
    I also use dryer sheets but I rip them in halves or thirds.  I've never
    had any problem with skin rashes or anything.
    
    Becky

     re .26
    
    Now I know why I wash the baby's laundry separately for so long!
    
    My husband is a distance runner - his socks and t-shirts are disgusting
    especially after he wads them up and leaves them buried for a few days
    in the laundry basket.  The idea of her snuggly pink velour outfits
    with bunnies in with those socks is more than I can handle.
    
    Also, I can't imagine not using soap or detergent on either of my
    kids clothes.  The baby leaks fluids [some pretty disgusting] from
    every oriface and the five year old gets some stuff on his clothes
    while eating and playing that could curl your hair!  I literally 
    wash all his clothes twice.  He wears a white cotton polo shirt for
    his school uniform - they get put in all light loads of laundry
    until they approach white again. [That includes bleaching and pre-
    soaking]
    
    Does your wife use soap/detergent?  This isn't a ploy like my husband's
    throwing pantyhose in with Levi's - so I won't ask him to do it again
    IS IT?
    
    Rochelle
    

    Detergent manufacturer's have invested billions of dollars in
    convincing people of the wonders that soap can work for their clothes,
    their health, their moral fiber, their social standing . . . but it is
    largely nonsense.  The same Consumer Report study that found that hot
    water washing did nothing more than cold also recommended that you use
    only about one quarter the amount of detergent that the package
    recommends (clothes equally clean, less soap residue, less money down
    the drain . . .).  So I started doing that, too.  I found that, even
    so,  the kids' final rinse water was sometimes soapy, so I experimented
    with further reductions, and couldn't really tell the difference
    even when I reached zero.  Soap has a marginal impact on a few foreign
    substances, but cleaning is basically accomplished by water and
    agitation.  If I thought that sparkling white clothes were called for,
    I'd have to follow my kids around all day, changing their shirts and
    pants every half hour (or more); no thanks!
    
    .28 > Does your wife use soap/detergent?  This isn't a ploy like my
    .28 > husband's throwing pantyhose in with Levi's - so I won't ask him to do
    .28 > it again IS IT?
    
    Do I detect a touch of female chauvanism?  Based on prior experience, I
    would guess that the boys' mom adheres to most commercial (pun intended)
    dictates about chemical additives when they are at her house.  But I
    actually did most of their laundry even when we were together.
    
    		- Bruce

    We do everything together, in Tide and warm water; then a sheet of
    Bounce in the dryer to cut down on cling and make them smell familiar!
    
    Warm water because... I know when I'm cleaning dried-on "stuff" from a
    surface, there's CONSIDERABLY less elbow grease involved when the
    water's hot.  Sure, cold water will "melt" almost anything
    eventually... do I want to bet on how long it's gonna take in the
    machine?
    
    And I would use *hot* water with diapers because I still subscribe to
    the apparently medieval notions that heat kills bacteria (e. coli
    springs to mind, but it probably doesn't deserve the reputation) and
    that poop residue contains bacteria that I'd rather not harbour!
    
    I started out with Ivory Snow for Alex's infant stuff, but somewhere
    along the line (6 months?) I threw some of her stuff into the (then)
    Era load and she had no perceptible reaction.  We graduated to "Tide
    Country" when she became a rug-rat in earnest; I thought it got out
    ground-in grime better.
    
    Leslie

    
    Hot water in a washing machine is not going to fry those little
    bacteria.  If it was hot enough for that, it would be too dangerous to
    have running around your pipes.  Anyhow, your clothes are almost surely
    spending more time at a higher temperature going through your _dryer_
    than they are in the washer on a hot setting.  So water temperature
    will end up having zero effect on asepticity (my goodness, is that
    really a word?).  The dryer may discourage the little buggers a bit,
    but that isn't the point, either.  The rule of thumb for potable water,
    as I recall, is 20 minutes at 212 deg.fahr.  'Course, a nice leg of
    lamb only calls for - ?what? - 165 d.f.?  If you accompany your T bird
    tomorrow in the oven with a stack of diapers, I'm sure they'll be
    thoroughly de-bugged.  You could also enjoy an intriguing new
    fragrance (when using the diapers, I mean, not eating the turkey).
    {Silliness seems to be getting the upper hand, here; time to go home?}
    
    		- Bruce

    When I said we didn't do the kids' laundry separately, I didn't
    mean we put the sleepers in with the dirty running socks!
    
    I mean that we do one laundry a week, on Sunday.  Usually Neil
    does it.  (I hate laundry.  I would spend an afternoon of cozy
    communion with DOCUMENT bugs if it would get me out of doing the
    laundry.)  All the laundry gets hauled to the basement and divided
    according to washing cycle and color.  on.  Who the item belongs
    to is irrelevant; the only thing that matters is how it needs to
    be laundered. So everybod's washable sweaters go in the gentle
    cycle, jeans -- everybody's -- in a regular load, permanent press
    shirts  -- everybody's -- in a permanent press load, and so on.
    
    The load that has Steven's t-shirts usually gets a shot of dry
    bleach in addition to detergent (Tide).  As Bruce said, the
    package recommendations for how much detergent to use are way too
    high; depending on how dirty the clothes are and how full the load
    is, we'll use between a third and half of what's recommended.  We
    use hot water for the towels (with the stuff Steven wipes onto
    them, they just don't seem to stay clean otherwise) and cold or
    warm for everything else.  
    
    --bonnie

    
    re .29
    
    Bruce,
    
    You have peaked my interest.  We have a water softener - so I already
    use about one fourth of the recommended amounts of detergent.  I'm 
    wondering if its like the carpet cleaners - we don't use any soap after 
    the first time because so much residue stays in the carpet.
    
    In regard to feminine chauvinism, has society quit blaming me for my
    engineer husband looking like one?  He rarely hears criticisms like -
    "Gosh Kevin, Rochelle's looking kind of unkempt today - have you been
    shopping at the Goodwill store or something?"
    
    BTW the "ploys" do work, even though I ask my spouse not to do my laundry
    [ever]. Somehow my pantyhose always end up in the dryer with his jeans.
    I've tried retaliating by throwing a red sock in with his underwear -
    but [she sneers] he's an ENGINEER, pink undies are fine with him!
    
    It seems that laundry consumes most of my waking hours......
    
    Rochelle

    .34 > "Gosh Kevin, Rochelle's looking kind of unkempt today - have you
    .34 >  been shopping at the Goodwill store or something?"
    
    I trust he would reply along the lines of: "Well, she rarely tells me
    where she has been shopping."  You, we trust, would be more creative in
    the reversed situation; somethink like:  "I've learned long since never to
    give advice to Kevin's tailor."   B.T.W., if you DO feel guilty, you
    _should_ worry about your chauvinism, rather than just that of the women
    who say this to you (it would be a rare man who would blame the unkempt
    appearance of another male on the latter's spouse [of course many
    wouldn't notice in the first place, or might even admire the
    condition!]).
    
    As to red socks and the like, I virtually NEVER sort anyone's laundry
    by color (occasional exceptions are for the first washing or two of a
    new and garish item).  The ONLY times things have acquired strange hues
    have been when a pen or the like got inadvertantly included; never a
    red sock infecting a white undershirt.  I'm willing to give partial credit
    to cold water washing, if you like.  Those who choose to be obsessive
    about laundry methodolgy will find that the task expands . . . to
    consume most of their waking hours!
    
    		- Bruce

Well, after reading all these replies, Pat did all our laundry together for 
the first time this week.  She does all ours on Monday, and she'll still 
have to do another 2 loads for Michael on Friday so he has plenty of clean 
things for the weekend.  But she did dump his stuff right in with ours, 
using Sears detergent (determined by me many years ago to be the cheapest 
available) and 1/2 a dryer sheet.  We'll see if he shows any skin 
irritation, but he isn't allergic to much of anything else so we aren't 
expecting any problems.  Thanks for the reassurance ...

Steve

    I washed AJ's clothes separately for his first 4 months, BUT I was
    living with my mother inlaw who made it clear that you did things HER
    way under HER roof.  By the time I got home from the hospital she had
    wahsed all his new things in Ivory Snow, and faithfully bought me a box
    of Ivory and Downy fabric softner.  Secondly with AJ's colostomy it
    presented some interesting washing problems.  Several times in
    deperation I would do a chorline bleach load, it was a decision that
    they were either ruined due to stains (fecal matter) or the color
    *might* change a little, but the stain would be gone.  I found that he
    generated a basket of laundry every day or day/half allby himself.  I
    tried to do his seperately, and ours would be done about every 5 days.
    
    When we got to our new home I soon did things my way, and his things
    were tossed into our laundry, again with an occational chlorine bleach
    load, but for the most part everything is Arm&Hammer Detergent, (it's
    low in phosphate and I have a sensitivity to phosphate) with Clorox II,
    and I reserve the fabric softener for things that I feel *should* be
    fluffy like his sleepers and my sweaters.  I hold on the softener on
    the other things because I heard is keeps things, like towels and
    underwear from absorbing water.
    
    Lyn