Conference moira::parenting_v3

    Funny, my husband and I were just discussing this over the weekend.
    Our son, Josh (16 months) is taking shorter and shorter naps and
    is down to only 1 hour during the day.  We debated over the issue
    of enforced quiet time.  My husband brought up the fact that he
    hated it when his parents made him take "naps" but also stressed
    that they expected him to sleep.  My parents however considered
    it "laying down" and we were allowed to read, draw, or play quietly
    in our beds.  I never resented it and think it was good for me to
    slow down and play quietly for awhile, also giving the opportunity
    to sleep if I was tired.  My huband and I came to the conclusion
    that even if Joshua gave up "naps" he will continue to have quiet
    time during the day.  In fact often on the weekends it's all three
    of us who nap!!  Josh goes non-stop when he is out of his crib so
    I think enforcing quiet time is the only way we will prevent him
    from becoming overtired.  He won't set his own limits for awhile
    so for now we give him a consistent 12-2 in his crib, whether he
    plays or sleeps (usually he sleeps 1 hour out of the 2) is irrelavant.
    
    Just MHO.
    
    Pam

    Sleep needs do, of course, vary among kids.  But both the pre-schools
    mine attended had mandatory naps all the way through.  Some kids got up
    earlier and went off to another room for quiet play, but all had at
    least a spell of real rest, whether or not they actually slept.  Even
    at kindergarten age, OFC regulations require a quiet time for kids
    in extended day programs.  In my experience, afternoon naps make life
    MUCH less crabby at supper and in the evening.  In my experience, it's
    a good habit to prolong.
    
    		- Bruce

    
    
    
    
    My kids moved from naps to quiet time, at first so that *I* could rest.
    Then, as they got older, they kept the habit, even though it was not a
    requirement in our house (or even in school).  I suppose the concept of
    an afternoon siesta is a good one.
    
    Children do have differing requirements.  My 17-year old cannot get
    through the day on less than 10 hours of sleep.   8.5 to 9 hours at
    night, and an hour in the afternoon.
    
    I would consider this lazy, except he rides his bike about 30 miles a
    day, just to "stay in shape",  and is at school by 7:00 a.m.
    
    His 15 year old brother doesn't have the same needs.   But he *does*
    spend an hour or two in recreational reading in the afternoon, before
    attacking homework (or video games).  
    
    
    -m

    Knowing Daniela's backround, it has to be an even more difficult
    situation to read because it may be force of habit and her real
    personality may not want to conform. Personally, I think it is great
    that she already spends "quiet time" in her crib but I would be
    somewhat concerned if she spends the majority of her waking time as
    "quiet time". If you think her patterns of "quiet time" are too long,
    maybe put a large playpen in your family/living room and let her play
    quietly there. She can see what is going on and can choose herself if
    she wants to be stimulated by "outside" stimulants or whether she just
    wants to continue to play quietly by herself. I will also depend upon
    what she has access to during her quiet time - books, toys, etc or
    nothing but her imagination.
    
    Getting kids to use quiet time does start from young. I rarely let my
    son just hang out in his crib. Consequently, he always wants to be
    doing something (this is also inherited because neither my husband or I
    like sitting idle). But, he always was good at taking naps and we
    always told him on those days when he didn't want to sleep that he
    didn't have to sleep but he had to stay in his bed. He's pretty good at
    it and it has even been used at night when he sometime seems to be able
    to stay awake for hours. He's old enough now where he can to read a book 
    to himself. Berk (2.8 now) requires a 1.5 hour nap and about 11 hours 
    sleep at night.
    
    Andrea

    David at 1 year has shown a tendency already to wake up from his
    nap and then play quietly with his animals and blankets before
    calling for us to get him up.  And sometimes he'll lie awake
    talking and singing to himself for half an hour or more before he
    goes to sleep. 
    
    And when I can I'll lie awake for half an hour or so in the
    morning just letting my mind wander.  I find it wonderfully
    refreshing, and sometimes I get my best creative ideas then.  
    
    So if that's the pattern she's used to, I don't see any problem
    with continuing it indefinitely.  As .4 suggests, you might try
    giving her some of her naps or quiet time in the playpen, where
    she has the option of doing something else, rather than in the
    crib.  [The playpen used to be Kat's favorite nap place.  She
    could play until she got too tired to move any more.  Party till
    you drop :) ]
    
    --bonnie
    
    p.s. the enforced naps Bruce mentioned were our biggest problem
    with Steven in preschool and kindergarten . . . he just didn't
    need that much sleep, but would the rules bend to accommodate him? 
    No way, the state knows he needs naps . . . but I digress.

	Amazing!  Just this morning, I read an article in the last Parents 
Magazine about that awkward time when kids are giving up naps.  They reccomended
quiet times in place of the naps at first for a number of reasons.

	I'll try to remember to type the article in when I get a chance.

	Katie is very much like Bonnie's David.  She'll sometimes wake up and 
"talk" and play for a while before letting us know that she REALLY wants up now.
On the weekends, she almost always plays for 1/2 hour or more before dropping.

Tracey   

    Quiet time is good for all!  Of my three, only 1 will not stay in his
    bed when he is awake...the 3 year old will get a few books and read to
    the animal friends, and the baby (1 yr) sings and plays in his crib.
    The oldest will, however, spend 1 hour every afternoon after school
    reading or coloring, or some other "slower" activity.  This makes the
    evening much more enjoyable for all of us...
    
    However, even the 1 year old will insist on getting out after an hour
    or so of this in the morning.  Then the fun begins!
    
    LB

    Geez, I'm SOOOOO jealous of all of you.  My son will play in his
    crib for 5 minutes *at most* upon waking and often cries himself
    to sleep.   I long to eavesdrop on the monitor to cooing and talking
    but he just won't cooperate.   Anything I can do to encourage quiet
    time/independent play?
    
    Carol

    re.8  
    Carol, I was feeling the same way!  Hey, where do you all get these
    kids?  
    
    Quiet time is almost non-existent in our house.  Andrew is up and
    shaking the house down almost the minute he wakes up.  He yells till
    someone comes in and gets him.  
    
    He hits the ground running.  He's then busy (in a good mood) later he's
    busy (in a so-so mood) much later he's busy (in a crabby mood) and
    practically says Don't Even Think About Putting Me in My Crib!  Which
    is what we have to do most of the time. He'll go down for a nap but
    won't do anything but sleep in the crib.  The play pen is for time outs
    so that's not a quiet play place for him.  We don't have a place in the 
    house that he would stay for quiet time.  He likes being with us.
    
    I'd love quiet times when we're home all day together.  Even a 1/2
    would help to rejuvenate me!
    
    Nancy
    

    I dunno -- I guess that after two like Andrew (Kat used to go to
    sleep on the floor in front of the refrigerator rather than go
    down for a nap), God had mercy on me and gave me a placid
    peaceable cheerful one!
    
    --bonnie

    Nathan also will not play in his crib during the day.  He gets 12 hours
    solid at night, and 1/2 to 2 hours of nap in the afternoon; sometimes
    only at serious urging.  Is there a good way to encourage quiet time? 
    More toys in his crib?  Most are now used as projectiles or hammers
    when he wants up...
    
    Adrienne