Conference moira::parenting_v3

    Dottie,
    
    Something we have tried with our son (2.5) is to let him fall asleep in
    our bed but move him later. We usually only do this when we have
    company over and the "party animal" would prefer to stay up all night
    with us. His told repeatedly that he will be moved later (usually an
    hour later when he's really asleep) and that the only reason he can
    sleep there now is because mommy and daddy aren't there and there is
    enough room for him to fall asleep. We also stress that this is a
    "special" event and that he has his own bed to sleep in. If he gets out
    of our bed once tucked in after all the usually bedtime rituals, he
    wil have to go into his own bed immediately. It seems to work but in
    your case it might be different because her room is new to her. I'd be
    willing to bet that she will fall in love with her room (maybe go pick
    out a new set of sheets to encourage her to stay in her bed or a new
    pretty ornamental pillow) especially once the whole family is together
    under one roof. 
    
    Personally, I'd try with all my might to start her off in her bed and
    keep her there. Any routine you start may be hard to break. 
    
    Good luck with the move. (How was your anniversary weekend??)
    
    Andrea

I don't have experience to back this up but just finished some reading and 
discussion with other moms on this topic.

One suggestion is to keep the kids sleeping in the same room or bed till they
ask for or seem to want more privacy (3-4 years old for some).  She would get
the security of having another person close by without being in your room.  
Combine this with lying down with her while she falls asleep and maybe she 
will feel reassured.

I guess if this were my situation in a couple of years I would do whatever it
took to keep my child from being so upset.  It seems like that would be more
important to me than some ideal of where a person "should" sleep.

Best of luck moving,

=ss

Perhaps you could start talking it up with her now ("When we move you will have
YOUR OWN room and YOUR OWN bed - won't that be GREAT???") and position it as
a privilege and exciting thing to do.  Maybe she will look forward to it if
you talk it up!

Kristen_who_hasn't_faced_this_before

    Is there any reason not to let them move into the same room in the
    new house?  They're still pretty young; I don't think there's any
    need to rush separating them yet and add one more stress to the
    stress of moving etc.  
    
    --bonnie

    My boys were nervous about their first night in their new room (they
    still share).  I arranged their room first, so it would seem like
    "home" to them.  The first night, they both put their pillows and
    blankets on the floor, and I laid down with them until they fell
    asleep.  That way they weren't nervous (cuz I was there), and they were
    in *their* room, not *mine*.  I think that's an important distinction
    to make, because kids develop habits quickly...  
    
    It only took one night.  When they woke up, they found that they were
    fine and all of their stuff was there and that life was good after
    all...  
                         

I think if you introduce the new room as something special your daughter
will be thrilled to have her OWN room.  I don't think that will be a 
problem.

I've had problems with Stephen 2.5 getting out of bed and running crying
after me as I go down the hall when I put him to bed.  He seems absolutely
terrified of going to bed.  When he gets to that point I sit on his bed with
him and hold him and rock him until he is ready to lie down.  The trick is
to try to get him settled so you don't get to the crying out of control
stage.

I simply say "good night, I love you" and then sit near him.  Originally, I
sat next to him in his room, but slowly I have been moving out.  Now, I sit
in the hall where he can see me if he leans out of bed but he can't see
me when he goes to sleep.  Each night I move a little bit further away
down the hall.  I'm hoping to progress to the living room soon but we'll
see.  Do you think this is a little extreme and my child is running my
life?  Maybe.  I just do whatever works for me!  Good luck.

(just a note: If the phone rings or the baby starts crying while I doing
my sitting duty it doesn't seem to bother Stephen that I get up to do
what I need to do.  Sometimes I sit there hoping the phone will ring!
As long a I start out with sitting in the hall that is all that matters.
Oh also, Stephen falls aspleep quickly so my sitting duty never seems to 
last more than 5-10 minutes.  It is so much nicer than listening to him
cry himself to sleep.)

    Our family recently relocated, and the boys (ages 4.5 and 20 months)
    insisted that they wanted to continue to share a room, even though the
    new home is set up with two bedrooms sharing a common bath. So now we
    have one bedroom for toys, and one bedroom for boys! When they are
    older and ask to have their own rooms, it should be easy to accomodate.
    
    Good Luck,
    
    
    Leeann