Conference moira::parenting_v3

    We had in-home care for Eric for his first year.  
    
    > rates:
    
    We paid $5.00 per hour, that's $50 for a 10 hours day.
    Overtime pay is $7.5 per hour.  The nanny also gets 10 paid
    holidays per year.  This was 1988, the rate maybe different now.
    
    > duties:
    
    All the nanny did was taking care of Eric.  No housework.
    Since Eric was just a baby, there is no need for transportation.
    
    > how to find a nanny
    
    We put ads in our local community newspaper and Worcester 
    Telegram.  We also contacted several agencies.  We got our
    nannies via friends and newspaper ads.
    
    > how to screen
    
    Definitely ask for more than 1 reference.  Have the person
    play with the kids see how they interact with each other.
    Trust yourself.  Make sure you feel comfortable with the person.
    Once the nanny started working, drop by unannouncely.
    
    > problems
    
    It is very hard to find a good nanny.  The turn-over rate
    is very high.    I had 4 nannies in 1 year.  Each one is a long
    story.  One sounded good at interview and had excellent
    references, but everytime I dropped by, she is either watching TV
    or on the phone.  I got rid off her right away.  I finally
    got one that I really like, but Eric was 15 months old, I 
    decided moving him to a daycare center.  Just to end my
    nanny search. 
    
    Wendy
    

    Re: .1
    
    I forgot to add that the $5 hourly rate is under the table
    rate.  If taxes was considered, we may have to pay $7-$10
    per hour.
    
    Wendy

    Since you did attempt a search on "Nanny" I will enter this note. It
    refers to a live-in nanny and will probably be long.
    
    We have had 2 live-in nannies for our son. The first started when I went
    back to work at 6 weeks and she stayed until our son was 1 year 4
    months (beyond her original 1 year contract) when she decided she had
    better get her college degree. I took the summer off and our second
    nanny started in September and we moved to England at the end of the
    year, taking the nanny for 6 months (her limit as a visitor in
    England). She left us at the end of May when our son went into daycare.
    
    Personally I loved having a nanny. I didn't have to bundle up a baby
    every day (breaks your heart when they are sleeping) and I didn't have
    to pack a suitcase for the kid everyday. That was the first advantage.
    
    Other advantages...usually have a ready made babysitter if you ask
    enough in advance, it was some company for me as well because my
    husband was doing quite a bit of travelling, light housekeeping was
    part of her job requirements, she made a number of other nanny friends
    through the "nanny network" from the agency so I didn't have to worry
    about finding her friends (this depends upon if the nanny WANTS to make
    friends), works out cheaper then having daycare plus a house
    cleaner, you don't have to take a day off if the child is sick.
    
    Disadvantages...if you need your personal space you better make sure
    the nanny understands it, these are girls suddenly on their own and
    they may go wild or they may totally retreat, you need to work at the
    relationship, it takes a while to "trust" them because not only are
    taking care of your child they are looking after your house, clothes,
    sometimes meals, etc every day, they use your car, you may have
    personality problems because they acted differently during their
    interviews, references might lie because they know the girl has no
    better option in her home state (most nannies through agencies in the
    Boston area are from the mid-west), you may have their family involved
    as well (some protective parents), you may have to teach them money
    management (our first nanny rang up 2 $400 phone bills - she didn't get
    paid for a while!!).
    
    I think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages if you have a very
    open relationship and set your expectations right away. If anything
    bothers you, you cannot let it slide. We either lucked out with the
    first nanny or we asked all the right questions. We did do alot of
    thinking in advance as far as what we wanted. You have to find someone
    who compliments your lifestyle. If you are quiet and would prefer to
    read all night long in your family room, a nanny who loves tv is going
    to drive you crazy. You really have to hold the line of being
    employee/employer. They are not your buddy and they are not your child
    so it does take a responsible, mature nanny.  With the second nanny it
    was easier because we knew the type of person our son needed to
    develop him, we knew some of the "problems" we had had with the first
    and could ask how they would handle them and we learned an awful lot
    about our lifestyle and who would best fit in it.
    
    We paid $160 a week for our first and $175 for the second. They each
    also got a $20 a month allowance toward their phone bill. This included
    doing our laundry, stripping and remaking beds, and light housekeeping
    including vaccuuming the family room everyday, washing the kitchen
    and hall floor twice a week, loading and unloading the dishwasher and
    meal prep and clean-up during the day for our son and help at night
    with dinner. The nannies are very willing to run errands - they like to
    get out!!! I had ours do some light food shopping  or dropping clothes
    off at the cleaners, etc. 
    
    If you use an agency, it will cost you but the number 1 advantage of
    the agency is that they usually have pretty strict screening, have
    video tapes of the girls, do a good follow-up after placement and will
    help provide a social circle and support for the girls. They normally
    do not choose sides if there are problems because they assume you are
    adult enough to handle it. The ageny we used recommends a 50 hours
    week with at least one weekend day off. It is negotiable between you
    and the individual nanny. Beyond the 50 hours or the set number of hors
    you decide with the nanny, should be paid at the going babysitting
    rate. You are also responsible for paying their taxes and SS. The rates
    reflect pre-taxable income so your weekly out-lay is less but you must
    pay the taxes quarterly. There are tax benefits of paying legally. 
    
    One other cost we did have was that we finished off the basement for
    the nanny, including a private bath. This was the best move we ever
    made. They had their privacy and we still had ours. There was certainly
    a bedroom for her on the second floor but if my husband wanted to walk
    down the hall in his underwear at night, he couldn't have. They
    appreciated having their own real space. They could have friends over
    and if to got late they were 2 floors away and we didn't hear a thing.
    If they were in a bad mood, they could just go down stairs and hide. 
    If they wanted to keep their room and bathroom a pig sty, they could
    and we didn't care because it wasn't in public view (especially
    worrying about keeping a bathroom clean if guests were coming over).
    
    Sorry to ramble. Judy, if your friend is considering a live-in nanny
    I'll be happy to add more (like what questions did we ask, how to
    determine their real personality, etc). We did have to learn what
    questions to ask because we only had telephone interviews so we never
    got to see their "reactions" face-to-face (with the exception of the
    video for one nanny, with the first the agency only did videos for the
    girls who didn't come across well on paper).
    
    Andrea 

    Don't let my nanny know how much your paying!!!  I advertised in a
    local newspaper for in my home daycare.  I had more phone calls than I
    could have imagined.  I selected (last March 90) a 17 year old girl
    with a high school equivalency diploma.  She had turned out great!  She
    is only required to fix snacks and lunch for my 2yr son and 1yr girl. 
    No housework is involved, only to pick up after herself and the kids. 
    I have had to talk to her about small things but overall I am happy. 
    
    The advantages do outweigh some problems.   For instance, I wish my 
    sitter would actually put the dishes in the dish washer instead of 
    the counter.  BUT, the kids are happy, clean, seem to love her and 
    are rested when I come home.  So how important is having the dishes 
    in the dish washer instead of the sink?  Not very... 
    
    As for the money, let's just say that I pay under $3.00/hr for 2 kids
    in diapers.  I am very lucky and realize it.  However, most people I
    interviewed seemed okey with the figure I quoted.  
    
    As a side note:  A friend of mine recently advertised for someone part
    time to come to her home in the Nashua, NH area:  She received 25 calls
    in 24 hours.  Days later she was receiving 4 calls per hour!  
    
    Good luck
    

    RE .4  Divide $160 or $175 by 50 hours a week. It's $3.20 or $3.50 an
    hour. Not much more. Plus I actually was not at home for over 50 hours
    and then she still watched the baby for another 15-30 minutes while I
    changed. I also had an extra set of hand during dinner prep and someone
    to keep my house relatively clean. The cost of someone to come in and
    do the house keeping that the nannies did would run us probably $50,
    mostly for the laundry. Deduct that from the weekly salary and true
    child care costs were only $2.20 - $2.50 an hour. I do realize you have
    2 kids but the cost of a nanny looking after 2 kids would still work
    out almost the same once you deduct "cleaning" costs.
    
    You are so right about things like not putting dishes in the dishwasher
    but if it bothers you, you have to say something because that person is
    causing you extra work. It is little things like that which can make or
    break a in-home relationship. These are the things that need to be
    decided right up front, especially with a live-in because firing her
    means she also lost her living accomodations.
    
    It really all comes down to whether you want another individual in your
    house. I would personally vote in-home care (whether it is live-in or
    come in every day) hands down over shuttling an infant anywhere. 
    
    Andrea

    Based on last winter's search for daycare for David:
    
    In Nashua, the going rate for a live-out nanny (in-your-home
    daycare) is about $110-$140/week, with $125 being about the
    average.  A person with professional qualifications -- early
    childhood education, experience as a nanny, etc. -- costs more. 
    Some people wanted more for an extra child, but most said they
    charged the same for two as for one.
    
    We posted an ad in the Nashua _Telegraph_ and didn't specify whose
    home we wanted the care in.    We had heard about the supposed
    shortage of daycare and wanted to be as flexible as possible.  We
    ran the ad for a week -- mistake.  Two days would have been
    plenty.  We got about 70 calls the first day; we may have had as
    many as 150 total for the week. 
    
    We found a lot of competent nice people mixed in with people who
    shouldn't have bothered.  Weeding out the unsuitables turned out
    to be quite easy.  You can pick out most of them over the phone.  
    Our favorite was the young woman who was home from college for her
    winter break.  "But we're looking for full-time care so I can go
    back to work," I explained.  "Oh, that's all right," she said
    brightly.  "My mother will take over for me when I leave."  "Does
    your mother know you're committing her to this job?"  "Oh, she'll
    be glad.  She's been looking for work for a couple of months."
     
    We decided on in-the-sitter's-home daycare for reasons probably not
    relevant to this note.
    
    --bonnie

    I've had in-the-home (live-out nanny) care since my son was 5 months.
    The going rate in my area (Bolton MA) is $4-5.00 hour (cash.) It's been
    great for us. I don't ask for housework but occasionally things like
    laundry and dishes are done unsolicited. 
    
    

    Hello there,
    
    	I looked through the notes and couldn't find a section that talked
    about in home care.  I would like to know if anyone has any ideas on
    where to look for a good in home care provider.  I will be looking for 
    someone that could start in the fall.
    
    Mary
    
    
    
    
    

    Mary,
    
    Recently I called child care search to request the names of daycare
    providers.  When nothing turned up, I asked them if they could give me
    the names of people who would be willing to come into my home.  They do
    not provide this service but did send me a video and a notebook with
    all kinds of information about in-home care.  It talks about whether or
    not to use an agency or interview yourself.  It points out the pros and
    cons of the different in-home options (nanny, au pair, mothers helper,
    etc).  It gives sample applications and questions to ask.  It talks
    about how to check out references.  It even discusses what you need to
    do legally as an employer.  I believe it also mentions how to advertise
    if you decide to do this without the help on an agency.
    
    If you are in Massachusetts, call Child Care Search out of Framingham. 
    Or your Digital child care contact should be able to tell you who to
    call.
    
    Good Luck!
    
    Lauren                                                              

    I don't know where you live, but I can relate my experiences in
    California.  We found our in home nanny through an agency, but many of
    these care givers also can be found by placing ads in local papers.  We
    placed several ads alongside our search through the agency, and found a
    number of people to interview.  (Our nanny lives nearby and comes for
    the day)
    
    My suggestion would be to place an ad in the local papers first,
    because the agency fee is expensive.  Also, we needed someone in
    November, and placed ads as early as August.  Most people who answer
    the ads are looking for work right away.  We were 'too early' in our
    search.  Lastly, talk to a lot of candidates. As new parents we didn't
    really know what questions to ask, how to qualitfy the person, etc. but
    after several interviews the differences became apparent.
    
    Good luck ---
    
    Mary

    
    
    
    Hi I'm new to this conference.
    
    My wife and I are interested in possibly hiring a live-in or live-out
    nanny, for the care of our 3yr old and 6mo old twins. 
    Dir/title=nanny wasn't too helpfull in explaining the process. Are 
    there folks here who have hired Live-in's or Live-out's?
    What are the pro's and con's of agency's vs placing a newspaper add?
    
    THanks
    Steve

The childcare referral service Digital uses has a video tape which explains
all about how to hire a nanny.  The 800 number is in a topic somewhere.

    I had put an ad in the local paper and thought that I had found
    someone.  Well as it turns out.  After everything that I offered her.
    Which was 8 paid sick day, Vacation time, and 10 holidays.  she called
    me last night and said she need insurance and taxes taken out of her
    pay.  Which is some thing I can not do. So there is a draw back to
    placing an ad in the paper.  I have turned away about 30 phone calls
    telling people I had found someone.
    
    I was told that there was a Nanny service/school in Bolton, MA
    Does anyone know the name or a phone number of such a service?
    
    I need help by Monday morning.
    
    Thank you
    Della

  Since last July, Digital has offered a special service to support employees 
  interested in having their child cared for at home.  The "In-Home Care 
  Service" is provided to all U.S. employees as part of Digital's Child Care 
  Resource and Referral Program.

  "Although service usage has been heavy in the Northeast, we haven't gotten 
  many calls yet from employees in other parts of the country," says Erica 
  Fox, Digital's Child Care Program manager.  "Employees in all U.S. locations
  can get customized help by calling (800) 635-0606, 9 a.m. to 7 p.m. weekdays 
  and 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. on Saturdays.

  The team of counselors staffing the In-Home Service is a knowledgable
  and experienced group.  Their help extends beyond referrals to nanny 
  agencies; they provide counseling on screening techniques and advice on 
  maintaining a positive relationship after your provider begins working for 
  you."

  To familiarize employees with Digital's In-Home Care Service and address 
  related questions and concerns, the Child Care Program Office is offering a 
  lunchtime workshop called "Finding and Keeping an In-Home Care Provider."  
  The workshop is presented by the team of counselors staffing the In-Home 
  Service.  A limited number of workshops is still available, free of charge, 
  to interested locations around the U.S.  For more information, contact 
  Erica Fox @MSO or ICS::FOX.

    My son (almost 2 1/2) has been going to a _wonderful_ family daycare
    since he was 4 months old.  For the last 6 months, he has also been
    going to a daycare center twice a week, and the family daycare provider
    the other 3 days.  This has been working out fine, although it's
    sometimes hard to get out of the house on time on "school days".
    
    My family daycare provider will be quitting as of July, so I need to
    decide what to do about the other 3 days.  I have the option of
    switching Marc to full-time at the center he already goes to, but 
    I've always felt that he needed (at least some of the time) the
    love, personal attention, and freedom to just sort of hang around
    the house and be a kid, that he's been getting from the family 
    daycare provider. (And _we_ certainly love the flexibility to sleep
    a bit later on "Robin" days :-)).  
    
    I could look for another family daycare, but I think in-home care will
    make the most sense when/if we have 2 kids, and I want to minimize the
    number of changes I subject Marc to.
    
    So I'm thinking about the option of hiring a live-out provier to come
    to my house 3 days a week.  Or maybe full-time and then switch Marc
    from a full-day daycare center to a traditional nursery school that the
    nanny could take him to/pick him up.  Would a nursery school be better
    for him than a daycare center when he gets a bit older?
    
    I'm not sure if what I would gain right now by hiring a live-out provider
    in terms of flexibility for us, and quality of care for Marc, would
    make it worth the increased cost (probably double) and amount of
    work necessary to find the right person.
    
    Can somebody with nanny experience help me sort out the issues?
    
    Thanks.
    
    
    
    

Deb,

Just a little insight, as I've been looking into this for my son as an interim
situation for the summer school-break (he's in first grade this year).  

I think it was in this file that there is a different number for Child Care
Referral service if you're looking for in-home (nanny) care.  I'll see if
I have the number still at home.....

Anyway, with my brief conversations with them, I'm kinda "off" the idea now -
first of all, you have to expect to act as an "employer" - pay minimum wage
(somewhere over $4.00/hr now !) which is higher than I can afford, especially
since we're a single-income home (I'm a single parent) and you are responsible
to take out taxes - I have enough trouble keeping my own tax situation under
control, you want me to keep track of someone else's ??  8*{ !!

But if you are interested, I'd suggest you contact the place - they send you
a VERY DETAILED package of what you need to consider from start to selection
and even a video (haven't had time to watch it yet, so can't tell you for sure
what's in it).  They also sent me a listing of 2 or 3 Nanny Agencies that will
help you find one, but they all charge a "placement fee" anywhere (for the
ones they sent me) from $200 to $2000.00 !!!!!!!

If you want the number, call or send me mail if you can't find it in the file
and I'll look for it at home.  Whatever you do, GOOD LUCK - it's not one of
the more **fun** parts of being a mom, worrying about the right person to take
care of the young one while we work !!

Debbi J
    
    
    

    Deb,
    
    If cost is a concern for you, then I will suggest to get another
    in-home provider.  Nannies are expensive, it will be more
    expensive if you only need 3 days a week.  However, if you
    are considering/expecting another kid.  Then hire a full-time
    nanny to care both kids may make sense financially.
    
    I hired a live-out nanny ever since my daugther (now 1.5) was
    born.  She takes care my daughter full-time and my son (now 3.5)
    3 half days a week.  My son goes to a daycare center 2 days a week
    and a traditional nursery school 3 half days a week.  For the
    3 half days that he doesn't have school, he stays home.  This
    works out great.  My daughter has the 1-to-1 attention ever
    since she was an infant and my son has the stimulation from
    daycare center and school.  And the cost is about the same
    if I send both of them to daycare center full-time.
    
    My son also loves the arrangement.  He gets to see his 
    daycare center friends (whom he knows ever since he was 1 yr
    old) 2 days a week.  And he gets to "relax" at home 3 days
    a week.  We plan to keep our live-out nanny at least until
    both our kids are in elementary school (hope she doesn't quit
    before then).
    
    Wendy