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Conference moira::parenting_v3

Title:Parenting
Notice:READ 1.27 BEFORE WRITING
Moderator:CSC32::DUBOIS
Created:Wed May 30 1990
Last Modified:Tue May 27 1997
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:1364
Total number of notes:23848

194.0. "Toddler sleeps late at night" by TSGDEV::CHANG () Fri Jul 27 1990 17:17

    How do you make a 2 years old go to bed early?
    
    Eric, just turns 2 yesterday, is driving us crazy by not
    wanting to go to bed early.  Since he was an infant, he never 
    sleeps much.  We never feel it is a problem until lately.  
    
    Currently, his daily schedule is, wakes up at 7:00am, goes to 
    school, takes a 1 1/2 hours nap, comes home at 5:30pm and
    doesn't go to bed until 10:30pm.  During weekends, he doesn't
    take any naps, he is awake from 7-9:30.
    
    We try hard to make him go to bed early but not very successful.
    He is just not sleepy.  Being 8 months pregnant, I am having
    a hard time to keep up with him.  I wonder should I let him
    drop his afternoon nap completely.  At least, he will go to
    bed a little earlier.  Or, if any of you has a way to make
    a toddler go to bed early, I would like to hear about it.
    
    BTW, we do have a bed time routine.  For example, yesterday
    I bathed him around 8pm, then played with him in his room
    for half hour.  Around 9pm, I started to read stories.
    After 3 stories, I told him it is time to go to bed.  He
    climbed out of the bed and ran away.  I grabbed him back.
    He started a tantrum.  He finally calmed down and fell 
    asleep, but that was 10:30pm already.  He is awake at 7
    this morning.
    
    Any advise?
    
    Wendy 
    
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194.1FDCV07::HSCOTTLynn Hanley-ScottFri Jul 27 1990 19:109
    Perhaps setting a bed time (vs. a sleep time) is the answer. Getting
    him into his room at an hour that's convenient for you and allowing him
    to read, play quietly or whatever until he's sleepy might be the
    answer.  Be firm about the rule of being in his bed/room, but allowing
    him to decide when he's sleepy might just be enough.
    
    I, on the other hand have a sleeper-2-year-old who's in bed by 7:30 and
    asleep 10 minutes later, til he wakes at 6:30-7:00.
    
194.2Restless NightsBSS::SHUTEFri Jul 27 1990 21:2819
    
    reply to .0
    
    Alex, who turned 2 y.o. in February, does the same thing.  He has never
    slept through the nights since he was born until recently.  We put him
    down for bed around 9:00pm but he gets up wanting a drink of water,
    potty (which is great and he does go), or wants hugs and kisses.  All
    of which is way to stay up.  He finally falls asleep around
    10:30-11:00pm.  He used to wake me up around 3:30am and sometimes again
    at 5:30am (I wake up at 6:30am to get ready for work) wanting a drink
    of water.  Last week a co-worker suggested that I do the following,
    Gently hold my son's cheeks and tell him that the water doesn't come on
    til 8a.m.  And you know what, it worked.  He's been sleeping through
    the nights/mornings the past week!  Amazing.  I wish I got her advice
    long ago.  I would have had better sleep.
    
    Time will tell.
    
    Karen 
194.3Why does he HAVE to go to sleep?DISCVR::GILMANMon Jul 30 1990 12:418
    You can't make him go to sleep.  I put Matt to bed by 8 PM and he
    doesn't have to go to sleep.  How can you make him go to sleep anyway?
    (Matt is 2 yrs 10 months old).  Anyway, I put him in his room, tell him
    he has to stay in his room and he can go to sleep when he is ready. It
    works, often he plays with his toys till 10 or 10:30 before falling 
    asleep with his light on, then I shut if off and all is quiet for the
    night.  Of course sometimes he calls and I have to go back up, but for
    the most part he plays for a while, then goes to sleep.  Jeff
194.4Method with our sonMAJORS::MANDALINCIMon Jul 30 1990 14:0724
    Wendy,
    
    I also think you are starting Eric's bedtime routine to late. Try a
    bath by 7:30 then maybe only a half hour of reading and singing. If you
    are honestly playing with him, he may be getting all excited. They
    rule in our house is that once Berk has had his bath, it's quite play
    (maybe a quick video, coloring, reading, etc - minimal rough housing!!)
    To do this whole bedtime process and have still eaten dinner does take
    planning - mostly meal planning to be sure I can prepare, eat and clean
    most of the kitchen up within about 1.5 hours. 
    
    We also use the "you don't have to sleep, but you must stay in bed"
    line. It does work and Berk usually falls asleep with a book tucked
    under his arm. He is not allowed to get out of his bed because he would
    play all night with the few toys in his room. (He bedroom is not used
    as a playroom so he only associates it with sleeping).
    
    Just be firm to whatever schedule you settle into. Maybe ask his
    daycare to start cutting his nap down and find out whether he doesn't
    like taking the nap. He might be ready to get rid of it or at least
    shorten it.
    
    Good luck. 
    Andrea 
194.5TSGDEV::CHANGMon Jul 30 1990 14:1923
    re: .3
    
    Why do I want him go to sleep?  Because, Eric wants lots attention.
    If I can make him play quietly in his room along, then I have no
    problems let him stay late.  Most of the time, he wants Mommy or
    Daddy (mostly Mommy) playing with him (I know, I know, he is
    spoiled).  He loves to read.  He will make me sit down and read 
    with him for hours.  We love to play with him, but we are also 
    tired and have lots things to do.  We just wish he can fall sleep 
    a little earlier, so we can go to bed a little earlier.  Currently, 
    we go to bed at 11:30pm every night and are up at 6:30am.
       
    
    re: .2
    
    Eric slept through the night since he was 4 months old.  He seldom
    wakes up in the middle of the night.  He doesn't sleep much, but
    once fell asleep, he is hard to wake up.
    
    Thanks for all the suggestions.  I think the solution is to make
    him play in his room quietly along.  I will start tonight.
    
    Wendy 
194.6some kids just don't need much sleepTLE::RANDALLliving on another planetTue Jul 31 1990 14:254
    Based on my experiences with Steven, who never needed much sleep at any
    age:  Shortening the nap will almost certainly help.
    
    --bonnie
194.7Cute.....NRADM::TRIPPLWed Aug 22 1990 19:2517
    I absolutely adore the idea of "the water doesn't come on until..."
    Maybe I should try that method in reverse at nite.  AJ's latest stall
    is wanting a drink of water, plus a hug and kiss with every other word.
    I think I'll tell him the water gets shut off at a certain time :-)!!
    
    On a firmer note, AJ is not really nightlight dependant, but with his
    door shut it's pretty dark in there. (Even though he's only a few feet
    from where we are)  I have started to tell him that is I have to speak
    to him once more, the night light will be taken away until he's asleep.
    I've only had to actually do it once.  Now the threat is enough!! We've
    discovered that the nightlight is just enough to hop out of bed to get
    something from the toybox, or toss a stuffed animal up in the air to
    play catch.  We also will insist on about a half hour of quiet time,
    usually watching the national news, before bedtime.
    
    Lyn