Conference moira::parenting_v3

    Maybe he is a bit young for this, but my six year old asks for a cool
    wash cloth on his head, and this seems to really help him.  I put
    a fan in the boy's room, not directed at them, until they fall asleep,
    then I move it to mine! Usually the combination of the sound and
    air circulation lull them to sleep, and they don't usually wake up.
    I suggest a small fan that you can place out of reach, maybe near
    the window.  Something small enough so he can't put his fingers into
    it.
    
    Good luck!
    
    Kim

    Look around your friendly neighborhood hardware store for a fan
    with a screen-mesh front.  This stuff is so fine that I don't
    think a kid could get anything bigger than a broom straw through
    to the blades. 
    
    There are also small plastic fans with plastic blades that don't
    do much damage if something did get caught in them.
    
    You could also try installing a ceiling fan, which would be out of
    his reach. 
    
    What is the objection to an air conditioner?  We've never needed
    one for the kids' rooms because none of the kids have ever had
    trouble sleeping in the heat (none of them took after their
    mother that way, thank God!), but if they did, that would seem
    like a logical place to start.  Assuming it's an economically
    viable choice, of course.
    
    --bonnie
    

    We installed ceiling fans in our two girls rooms.  They are out
    of the reach so we don't have to worry about finger getting caught.
    We have 5 of them in our house and I love them.
    
    Denise

    Depending on the layout of your house, you can do cross-ventilation.
    Put a fan in a window of another room on the opposite side of the
    house that blows air out. Open the windows in your son's room; air
    will be pulled in, as long as his door is open at least part way. This
    creates a good amount of circulation without blasting the air onto
    the smallfry. We do this and it works well - it cools two bedrooms with
    one fan, too. 
    
    Lucy
    

    Is there a specific reason why your wife is adamant about not
    putting in an air-conditioner?  I certainly hope there's isn't
    any "danger" I was not aware of, because my husband and I just
    bought one for our 8-month-old's room.  She's miserable in the
    heat (like her mom) and I felt guilty having one in our room
    and not in hers.  I've never found any problems with the noise,
    in fact, quite the contrary.  The sound of the AC always puts
    me to sleep and I sleep a lot more soundly when it's on.
    
    - Kathryn
    

    We put ceiling fans in both our bedrooms (as well as living room and
    dining room) because they make a world of difference.
    
    If you do opt to go with an oscillating portable fan, a good hint I got
    from my mother in law is to put it on the floor and tilt it slightly
    upwards at an angle - it moves the air a lot more than just setting the
    fan on a table.  This can be done after the kids are in bed.
    
    

    Brookstones sells 'Cafrano' fans. Blades are exposed but will not hurt
    or cut and moves a lot of air and is super quite. Although they are not
    cheap, about $35. and Brookstones guarantees for life.

    Thanks for the hints.  The A.C. idea is not dangerous as far as I am
    aware.  My wife has this 'thing' about hating air conditioning and
    without a major flap over it she is not about to change her mind... I
    know, I have tried.  The ceiling fan idea is the best one yet. I will
    bet though that Matt would find someway to get his pants, or the cat
    or something hung up in it.  (Remember, this is the kid who hung himself
    by the thumbs on the curtain pull cord described in another note.)  The
    electric cord presents another hazard regarding a fan in his room other
    than  the ceiling fan (which presents the hazard to the cat winding up
    thrown into it), just kidding about the cat but I will bet he WOULD
    wind up getting SOMETHING into a ceiling fan somehow.  Anyway, maybe
    the cross draft idea...........    Thanks, Jeff
    

I have one of the Brookstone fans mentioned in .7.  Indeed, you can put
a finger up to it and the blade will stop and you won't be hurt, and it's
a nice fan, but I would never put this in a room with a child.  The fan could
easily take out the child's eye, and it is also easily moved or pulled over.

I would go for the idea of a window fan.  I just bought two of them, one a
"Marvin 2000" and the other a "Holmes Air Window FanAnd" (the "And" means
it can also be a floor fan, but so can the Marvin.)  Both have small grilles,
though the Holmes' openings are a bit larger.  The Holmes comes with a 
bug screen that, I suppose, you could put on the fan on the room side to keep
small fingers out.  I also think the blades on the Holmes are far enough away
from the grille to not be a problem.

Between the two, I like the Holmes better - it is somewhat quieter, has more
speeds (3 vs 2) and is electrically reversible.  Also, its method of mounting
in the window is more secure.  However, the Holmes can only be used in
double-hung windows, while the Marvin is adaptable to casement and other
style windows.  The Holmes is on sale at K-mart this week for $40, and you
can find the Marvin about the same price.

				Steve

    I don't think a pair of pants will hurt a ceiling fan.
    
    To keep the kid out of the cords, we used to put the lamp and the
    fan on top of the bureau.  Then we'd put the bureau in front of
    the outlet.  Take up any extra slack by doubling the cord into a
    bundle and tying it with some strong string.
    
    --bonnie

re: .9 window fans

I was going to suggest that also, but remember that if you keep the door 
closed, a window fan will be a lot less effective, since you won't get a cross 
draft.

I have a somewhat bizarre suggestion, but I'll make it anyway.  There are also 
fans that are mounted in a ceiling (actually on the ceiling studs, normally an 
upstairs hallway) that exhaust air from the house into the attic.  It requires 
some carpentry, but I don't see any reason that it _couldn't_ be mounted in a 
room.  They can be mounted such that it is just about impossible to touch the 
fan blades or get anything caught in them, and you can even mount the switch 
elsewhere, such as in the hallway.

Another suggestion is that it isn't necessary to wear jammies.  My son has 
been sleeping in his undershorts the last few nights.

Clay

   We have a "roof fan" like that mentioned in .11. It is a bit noisy, but we
   typically run it just before bed time, to get the heat out of the house.
   One thing to avoid if you do go for a fan, is something that will be
   blowing directly on the child. The bodies natural cooling necahnism is to
   exude sweat. Being in the flow if a significant air current while sleeping,
   can a) Dehydrate you, and b) if there is a sudden change in temperature as
   often happens around 2-3 am, cause un-necessary chills, even in summer.
   
   Airconditioners, in their own right, are not harmful. I spent several
   years, living about 50 miles from the equator, in an air-conditioned house,
   without any problems (and I didn't have much difficulty switch to
   non-airconditioned.) The things to avoid with airconditioners, is a) Being
   too cold, b)being too strong an airflow, and c) not having their filters
   cleaned regularly.
   
   We currently, let andrew sleep in nothing but his diaper, and a cotton
   t-shirt, with the (screened) windows open a few inches, the Roof fan having
   been run, just before he goes to bed, We will be putting an Airconditioner
   in soon, but only because we got it real cheap, and it will be at the far
   end of the house anyway...)
   
   q
   
   

    Reply to Jeff and others....
    
    You are right about some kids getting into *anything*.  Brian thought
    it was neat to see what would happen to a helium balloon when he let it
    go into the fan (he did try it when it wasn't on, fortunately).  He has
    also found it a convenient target for other kinds of target practice as
    well.   The only reason the cat hasn't been involved is that she won't
    let him near her yet.... and I don't blame her!
    
    On a more serious note, though, paddle fans are terrific.  I would only
    be concerned if it is over the bed and could be reached. 
    
    Norma
    

    Thanks for the ideas.  Many of them are quite workable, especially the
    window fan idea. Last night I bought a 12 inch three speed fan at a 
    hardware store. I plugged it into an extension cord and ran it to an
    outlet OUTSIDE Matts room. Remember I keep Matt in the room with a 
    closed door at night because his roaming around the house at night
    while we are asleep would be truely dangerous to him.  I carefully
    explained that he was free to turn the fan off and on via the push
    buttons on it but he was to leave the fan blades alone, and if he
    "messed with the fan" other than turning it off and on I would re-
    move the fan from the room and he would have to suffer with the heat.
    He seemed to understand.  I placed the fan on the floor because I knew
    if I placed  it on a table or higher than floor height he would manage
    to dump it on the floor anyway.  So he survived the night (I think)
    and as I left for work I unplugged the fan from the outlet outside 
    of his room.  In the interconnection between fan and extension cord
    is OUTSIDE his door and the fit is too small for him to pull it into
    his room under the door and explore the pins with his small fingers.
    THEN, I woke up during the night and thought "WHAT IF HE POURS HIS
    WATER GLASS ONTO THE FAN CONTROLS"! Well, I guess he didn't.  Keeping
    kids safe and comfortable sure can be a challenge. The window fan idea
    is the most practical suggestion I have heard yet.  The ceiling fan 
    is a good idea but I know Matt... somehow he would get some part of
    his anatomy into it, perhaps by climbing the walls to the ceiling.
    This dealing with an intelligent determined uninformed unreasonable
    creature is quite a challenge keeping him safe. Thanks for the help
    everybody. Jeff
    keeping him safe is quite a challenge.   Jeff

    Putting a fan inside Matt's room with the door closed won't cool it,
    though it may cool him very slightly by circulating the warm air enough
    to increase evaporation of sweat.
    
    To cool the room you need to bring in cool outside air.  Much the best
    way is with a remote exhaust fan.  I cool all our bedrooms with a fan
    blowing air out the windows at the opposite end of the house.
    
    Needless to say, this would require leaving Matt's door open, and I
    won't bother suggesting again that you should do this anyway.  But I'll
    suggest an alternative.  Put up a child's safety-gate across the open
    doorway, and tell him he's not to try to get out.  He may be physically
    capable of climbing over, but I doubt he'll try.  I think he's pretty
    sure to be both safer and cooler than with virtually any kind of fan
    actually in the room where he can get at it.
    
    		- Bruce

    How about replacing the bedroom door with a screen door for the
    summer?
    
    --bonnie

    Safety gate, ha! This kid eats safety gates... he pulls them down.  My
    wife would resist a fixed gate because of the necessity of screwing it
    into the door or wall. But, the non bolted down types?... forget it, he
    charges them bowling them over with no problem. Discipline, yes, but
    don't forget the context, nighttime, being able to count on him being
    safe while we sleep. Wouldn't we hear a bowled over gate go down? 
    Maybe, but can I count on it?  Screen door, same issues as a fixed
    gate.  I agree a fan his room would only fan him. Since his body temp
    is hopefully higher than the air temp he would be cooled via the air
    stream temp difference and any sweating he might do. But I think the
    best idea is the fixed window fan. It pretty much solves everything.
    Now, how to get power to it without defacing the house or setting Matt
    up for an electrocution?  He hung himself by the thumbs on the damm
    venitian blind pull cord again last night.  I quickly rescued him but
    I don't know how he gets the cord down off the top of the blinds and
    then wraps his thumb in it again.  I am ready to cut the cord off the
    blinds completly. I already cut it so it doesn't form a closed loop.
    
    Jeff

Ok, since this kid seems to do off the wall things, here's an off the wall
idea to keep the power cord from him!

Feed the power cord from the OUTSIDE ... say from an outdoor receptacle.

Stuart

    Good idea Stuart. Thats what I am doing with his current close mesh fan
    which is in his room. I ran the power cord under the door and to an
    outlet outside his room.  He can't get at any live parts unless he dis
    assembles the fan with no tools.

	We have a screen door on Katie's room.  It didn't damage the doorway. 
We just took off the regular door and put the screen door on the already 
existing/installed hinges.  Allows air flow.  Lets the kitties look in and Katie 
look out without allowing unsupervised ingress or egress.  (Not the cats have 
been a problem but we didn't know that for sure before Katie was born and 
decided to plan for worst case.)

Tracey

    In re: .17
    
    No, I wouldn't expect a spring-loaded gate would work at this point. 
    But what's the objection to a regular one?  About 6 small screw-holes
    for gate and catch. In a year or 2 (or 10?) when you're ready to take
    it down, 5 minutes with plastic wood and a dab of paint will render the
    holes forever invisible.  If this isn't acceptable, your problem isn't
    with Matt, but with your spouse.
    
    		- Bruce

    We keep 'window fans', the ones that are about 2 1/2 feet square
    in several rooms.  We turn them for naps even in the winter...
    they are great for letting the kids sleep through noises
    elsewehre.  So far the kids have respect for them.

    Jeff, sounds like you need to somehow figure out how to stop
    this incredibly destructive behaviour.....perhaps not rescuing
    him so fast or other ways to let him understand the consequences
    of his actions.  You've probably been asked this before but do you
    have any idea what is behind this behaviour?  The obvious would be trying
    to get your attention.  probably too obvious.  If you can't figure
    it out, I really suggest going to see a child therapist.  Judy and I
    see a counselor now and then to discuss parenting issues and review
    our kids development.  They can offer some really great suggestions for
    things to try with your kids to help them through tough times.
    I dont think there is any WRONG with my kids, but its sure great
    to get some suggestions from a professional about how to cope with
    the things they do that make life hard.  I could recommend someone
    excellent, but she's out here in Western Mass...
    bob

    WHAT incredibly destructive behavior?  He messes up his room,
    such as checking out the drawers and leaving toys around, but he
    doesn't purposely trash stuff, (usually), he did peel wallpaper
    for a while, but has stopped that.  My concerns are safety, such
    as getting the curtain cord wrapped around his thumb. He has done
    that (God knows HOW he tied knots with one hand on his thumb), but
    I don't see that as willfully destructive. I have removed the curtain
    cord so he can't get tangled in it anymore.  The fan is plugged in
    outside the room so short of taking the fan apart, or sticking things
    throught the close mesh guard I don't see much risk there.  We have
    gone over the fan rules with him daily for a few days and, he has left
    the fan alone as he has been instructed.  I do think the window fans
    are the best solution... they pull in outside air.  The screen door
    idea is a good one.  And, Bruce, I agree, implementing some of the
    ideas put forth in this note, is an issue to take up with my wife.
    
    Jeff

    I guess to each his own....but I would be concerned if my
    kids did those things.  You cant put up a simple gate because
    he gets a running start and crashes into it until it falls
    over?  you have to modify your curtains to keep him from hanging
    himself on them?  You have to plug things in outside his room?
    
    I don't recall the others be I do recall reading your notes
    and feeling that something must be wrong.  But I don't witness it
    and only glimpse it through notes.  I'm sure you know best.
    bob

    Just a few thoughts from experience with my "terror on wheels (feet)"
    
    Withing weeks of moving into our home we installed ceiling fans over
    both our bed and our son's.  This would be in my opinion the safest
    method, unless he can climb up that far which should be unlikely.
    Usually fans work off of either a pull chain directly attached to the
    fan, or as in our case it works off the light switch that also controls
    the ceiling light. (one less thing to plug in).  As the wife of a
    firefighter, IT IS NOT SAFE to lock a child in his room, or prevent his
    escape under any circumstances!!  I don't agree with a locked door,
    even a screened door!!
    
    As for the window cord problem, what's wrong with pull-down room darkening
    shades?  I can't believe someone didn't suggest that already.
    
    As for the cord problem, here's my question:  Does anyone know where I
    can find "cord shortners".  I remember them as a little piece of
    plastic roughly the size of a tongue depressor.  My wall phone
    cord keeps landing on the hall floor, and everone gets tangled up in it.  
    
    Lyn Tripp, AJ's mom
    (EMT and firefighter's wife)