Conference moira::parenting_v3

    My daughter used to soak herself nights, so when she started training
    during the day, I left diapers for naps and nights.  She pretty
    much spontaneously started staying dry while sleeping within a couple
    of weeks/months.  I'd say don't rush it. 2 yrs 4 months is young
    to be out of diapers, anyway.  I think the daytime control will
    carry over to nights by itself.  After you've had a couple of weeks
    of dry diapers every night, then you could probably handle the
    "occasional" wet bed.
    
    By the way, I'd rethink the waking up  at night to go to the bathroom.
    Isn't your son developing a wake-up habit?  I'd vote for a diaper
    and uninterupped sleep vs. waking him up and no diaper.  (Just my
    opinion).
    Liz

    I don't know that there's anything wrong with a wake-up-at-night
    habit -- I've been doing it for something around 35 years now, and
    for exactly that reason:  I drink a lot of water in the evenings
    and I wake up in the middle of the night needing to go.  I stagger
    to the bathroom in the wee hours and stagger back to bed without
    ever really waking up. I've never noticed that it causes any
    health problems or less restful sleep or anything.  In fact, when
    I'm so tired I don't get up at night, I usually feel less rested.
    
    So I'd say that if Berk wants to wake up at night to go, it's
    probably all right, but it would probably be a good idea to teach
    him to do it for himself so you can get some sleep.  And training
    pants would be easier for a kid that young to manage. 
    
    For Kat we used to use the very heavy terrycloth pants with rubber
    pants over the top.  That took care of all but the heaviest
    floods.
    
    --bonnie

    I agree with Bonnie.  My daughter was 18 months old when she stopped
    wearing diapers at night.  We were in Florida at the time and her
    cousing who is the same age as her was already potty trained - Adrienne
    thought this was neat.  We had been training her at home all along
    but she still wanted to wear her diaper at night.  When we returned
    home from Florida, I went to put her diaper on before bed and she
    did not want it.  So I bought some training panties for her and
    never had any problems.
    
    One rule I did and still follow is no drinks at least a half hour
    before bedtime.
    
    Good Luck,
    Denise

    It's funny, my daughter Aisha (2.5) went "cold turkey" so to speak
    with diapers at home. She rarely, if ever wets the bed at night, and
    never during naps. But, the sitter puts a diaper on her for her
    naps, and she often wakes up wet. I wonder if wearing the pants
    makes them more aware that they need to control themselves. 
    
    When she decided not to wear diapers at night, she had been staying
    dry for a while too....so maybe she was just ready. It's hard to
    say. The other thing was that we switched to cloth diapers. I think
    maybe they felt different to her...more like underwaer, so she became
    more aware of being wet and wanted to control herself.
                                        
    I also make sure she does not drink anything for an hour before
    bed (an hour because she holds it in sometimes...and I don't want
    her letting go in bed).
                                                          
    Good luck...just follow his lead.
    
    Dot
    

    I agree with all the replies so far.  My son Jason was 2.8 when he was 
    trained.  The entire process took 2 weeks from being taken out of
    diapers to total control during the day and evening.   
    
    I didn't want to send mixed messages so when the sitter and I took him
    out of diapers, that was it.  I used extra absorbent training pants
    with plastic pants over them.  Yes, for a couple of mornings I had
    soggy, smelly sheets to contend with; but, it didn't last long.  The
    most important thing I can say is don't get upset with Berk if he wets
    the bed.  I don't make a big deal out of it.  Jason has probably wet
    the bed 3 times since he was trained in October, and everytime he gets
    real upset that he wets -- he just feels bad.  I just tell him it was
    an accident and the sheets can be changed.  
    
    Best of luck!
    Donna

    Whatever you do don't push it!  My 3.3 year old daughter just decided
    to stop diapers at night.  She did and has had only one accident.  She
    gets up during the night to use the bathroom when she needs to and is
    so proud of herself.  I'm not sure I'd like to have a 2 year old
    wandering around the house at night anyway.
    
    Good luck!

    Ask Berk - when he's ready to go to bed without a diaper he can let you
    know. Til then, it's very common for toilet trained kids to continue
    with a diaper at night. Both Brazelton and Spock assert that nighttime
    bladder control is more likely to come late in the 3rd year,often at
    age 4.
    

    I would go with the training pants at night.  It sounds to me that he
    is ready.  Everyone even doctors like to assume that children aren't
    ready to be fully trained until they are 3 or 4.  The point is every
    child is different if Berk is doing well during the day and has a few
    wet diapers at night I would stop the drinks prior to bedtime like one
    noter suggested.
    
    My mom had 7 children and we were all trained between 18 and 24 months
    with no pressure I might add.  I have 3 children and two of them were
    trained before 18 months.  So it is possible.  When I trained them I
    waited till we had two weeks without any accidents before removing the
    night diaper.  We had a few accidents at night but no as many as I
    thought we would have had.  I also had my daugter throw away her
    diapers which she thought was a "Big girl thing to do ".  I hope I am
    as successful with my son (7mos.) as I was with his brother and sister.
    
    Good luck with whatever you think is best for Berk.
    
    Carole 

    I think this is what most of us have been trying to say -- if
    Berk's ready, then he's ready, but don't push him -- but 21.21 put
    it so beautifully in reference to walking that I wanted to quote
    it here:
    
    "It's all the individual kid, and in the overall scheme of things the
    age at which they walk bears little reflection on ANYTHING else in
    their life, as far as advanced or delayed development.  Walking,
    talking, teeth, eating, toilet training, all progresses at its own rate
    for each child."
    
    Some children are early.  Some are late.  It doesn't mean
    we've done well, or poorly.  It just means our child is ready.
    
    --bonnie

    We have three children and toilet training (who trains whom???) has
    been ... an experience. Josh, our eldest, will be 5 in August, has been
    day trained since he was 3.4 yrs., and is still soaked every nite. We
    had him in diapers (we use cloth) up till 3 weeks ago, but he is a very
    big boy for his age, and they just wouldn't stretch around him anymore,
    and the largest available rubber pants were splitting regularly. Ex.
    lg. disposables did not fit either. So we tried going completely
    diaperless..just underwear. He had one dry night, but many more just
    swimming by morning. We do limit any drinks before bed...usually
    nothing after supper, unless he's been playing very hard and gotten
    sweaty (we do eat late though). What we finally settled on, because he
    was jsut SO wet, was the terry cloth lined rubber pants available at
    Sears. They only go up to a size 4, but they fit him even though he's
    wearing a size 7 regular clothes (they are BIG). Even that didn't hold
    him so now we put those on him with a "diaper doubler" pad inside. This
    produces a dry bed 50% of the time. Less laundry for my wife, less
    being upset for Josh (we did not make a big deal over it, but he hates
    being wet in the morning....he realizes he sleeps ultra soundly, and
    that is likely why he doesn't wake up when his bladder is full). I know
    personally of several folks who've had kids wet at nite, consistently,
    up to about 8-10 yrs. old, or even older, when the dr. can find no
    physiological reason for it...just "wait till they grow some more."
    Our middle child, Carrie, will be three on Monday (6-25) and decided
    about 2 weeks ago she wanted to wear "big girl undies". She wasn't
    great (at first) at the using the potty which goes hand-in-hand with
    that, though, but now is excellent about it. My wife started by keeping
    her in a diaper at nap and at bed, but form the first day that she used
    the potty consistently, she was always dry at nap, so she wears
    underwear there. At nite, she is dry 75% of the time, but we put on the
    super thick training pants with rubber pants over them, for the other
    25%. 
    In general, it seems that there is something about just being in
    diapers that discouraged our kids from using the toilet at nap or
    nite...they seemed to feel "oh, well, no big deal...after all I am in
    diapers". Underwear, whether training pants or whatever, seems to make
    them feel a bit more responsible for staying dry. BTW, we do not call
    it a diaper doubler to Josh....wanting to avoid the term diaper...but
    call it a "pad" and his terry lined rubber pants we call underwear.
    We praise 'em for doing there best when they're dry...and we tell them
    that even when they're wet, wh are still proud of them as long as they
    did their best.
    Sorry its a long response....its been a hot topic around here!
    --dave--

    Wow....how are you all training your kids at these early ages??

    Robin, our oldest, is 4 1/2.  He hasn't worn a diaper during the
    day for about a year.  About 6 months ago, I bought a plastic
    mattress cover and we stopped putting him in diapers at night.
    We walk him to the bathroom before we go to bed, about 11, and
    he still wakes up wet occasionally.

    Something I've noticed.....When he wears NO PJ bottoms, no underwear,
    just a tee shirt, he never seems to wet the bed.  With underwear its
    the most common, perhaps feeling sort of like a diaper.
    good luck!
    bob

>    Wow....how are you all training your kids at these early ages??

    Bob -- 
    
    They're not.  They happen to have kids who were ready to give up
    diapers earlier than some other kids are. 
    
    --bonnie

My opinion (learned after much battle) is to let the kids guide you.  They are
all different.  Marisa (4.5 years) was trained when she was 2.3 years in two
weeks.  So I expected Lisa to do the same.  Well, she's turning three the 13th,
and is now going to the bathroom almost everytime without accidents.  The
weird part is, she sopped wetting he night diaper months ago.  She could have
worn underwear at night and diapers during the day!  She also would scream at
me if I suggested that she go to the potty, so I left it up to her.  Also, she
was going to the bathroom for # 1's months before she did for # 2's, which is 
the opposite of what I read in the books. 

The piece of advice that was the turning point for me (thank God I read this
somewhere!) was: You've never seen a five year old go to kindergarden in
diapers, right?  Sooner or later it will happen.  When I adopted this as my 
motto, I felt much better and didn't push Lisa again.


Mari