Conference moira::parenting_v3

    
    Most of our friends' kids took their first "stroll" unassisted days
    before their first birthday!  So 12 months seems to be the average,
    with a few kids a little sooner and several kids a little later
    (or so "I" think!).
    
    JA is also cruising, standing, climbing, swinging, running in her 
    pink Cadillac, etc. ... but she, too, won't dare take that first
    "unassisted" step!  And I'll tell you, I'm not encouraging her, as she
    wears me out from everything she's doing "just shy of WALKING"!  God, I
    can't imagine the trouble that's going to follow her once she starts 
    walking!
    
    Also, she'll stay in her playpen for an hour or so every other hour or
    so ... and I think that's because she likes to cruise the playpen. 
    Once she's walking, I doubt she'll want a 40" square diameter!  The
    playpen is the ONLY SANITY time I get these days and I'll cry the day
    she gives it up and gains infinite freedom!
    
    I wonder if I can slow down her "walking milestone" by tieing her
    ankles together?  (only kidding!).
    
    Dottie
    

    Pam, 
    
    IT will hapen in time - don't woory.
    
    If you want to encourage him, maybe move some of the objects he use for
    support further apart from each other so he has to take a step to go
    from one to the next. Our coffee table was right in front of the couch
    and Berk used to go from one to the other without a step. One day after
    vaccuuming I didn't put the table back so close. It did confuse him and
    he face planted a couple times on the couch but he very quickly learned
    to take the step on his own. When my son was getting upright mobility
    was really went crazy child-proofing the house and found we removed a
    number of things, making some things further apart. 
    
    About running versus walking - all kids do that. They get so excited
    they topple over. They just don't know that they have to move their
    legs at the same pace. I remember talking very calmly to my son when he
    started walking slone so he had a slower rhythm to walk with. I found
    if I wasn't all smiles, grins and "come to Mommy" with clapping hands
    and all the hoop-la, he didn't get outwardly excited himself and
    concentrated on walking and not wanting to "run" to a very excited
    parent. Then he got plenty of praise when he made it to me. I also
    encouraged walking to (stationary, non-moveable) objects and not 
    always a person.
    
    Don't worry. It will happen soon enough and you'll be wondering where
    he toddled off to now the moment your back is turned.
    
    Andrea

    Pam,
    
    Eric cruised the furniture since he was 9 months old.  I thought
    he will be walking by 1 year old.  But he didn't do it until he
    was 14 months old.  Be patient, it will happen anytime.  Every
    baby is different.
    
    Wendy

    Julia cruised at 9 months and we too thought she would be walking
    very soon.  However she seemed afraid to take that first unaided
    step.  AT 15 months our childbirth class had a reunion.  All the
    other children were walking.  As soon as she saw the other kids
    she stood up and started to walk on her own.  From that day on
    she walked.
    
    Ron
    

    Pam,
    
    Drew was "cruising" the furniture at 7 mos. and standing unassisted in
    the middle of the room alone at 9 1/2 mos.  He's got good balance but
    now, at just 10 mos. he's contented standing alone.  He has a look on
    his face as if to say "look, I'm standing!!" but then thats as far as
    he goes.  I understand that the first "step" after standing unassisted
    is just around the corner.  I'll cheer him on proudly when he does take his
    first step!  But I will also be in for a new phase as far as
    exploration goes, and I just have to prepare for it. 
    
    Good luck!
     
    One more thing, it really does vary with kids, my husbands niece didn't
    walk till she was 17 mos!
    
    Nancy
    

    As you can see from the replies, there is a real range for when kids
    start to walk. The fact that your son is "actively cruising" suggests
    that he's close to ready, and will do when he wants. We used to make a
    game of it - I'd sit about a foot away and Ryan would lunge towards me,
    both of us laughing hysterically.  Like your son, Ryan was standing at
    7 months, and cruising soon thereafter. He started walking unassisted
    at 10 months.  He "best little friend" at daycare didn't walk til 14-15
    months, and I've known others who were older than that.
    
    I've also heard what you described - some children NEVER walk  (or
    crawl) - they go straight to running.
    

    
    A little off the subject but we were at the park the other day and
    ran into a woman with two little girls, one of whom appeared to
    be Jason's age.   She was crawling in the sand box and walking
    occasionally.  I asked the mother how old she was, how long had
    she been doing these things, etc.   Her reply was "this must be
    your first...by the second, you'll figure out that they do 
    EVERYTHING when THEY'RE READY!"
    
    cj/

    I guess I'm the only poor soul out here whose children couldn't wait to
    walk.....Lauren (now 3) walked unassisted from 7 months on.  We thought
    we'd get a break with Amanda (now 16 months) but at 8 months she too,
    was up and about.
    
    /red
    

    It varies, even with the same family.  Kat was walking unassisted
    at about 9-10 months, after starting the cruising business at
    around 7 months.  Steven started cruising at about 9 months but
    didn't walk until about 14 months.  David is cruising at 8 months
    and looks like he can't wait to walk, but we'll see.
    
    --bonnie

    I think cj (.8) has a major insight - the fascination that first-time
    parents have with this development.  I can remember to the _day_ when
    Aaron (now 8) first pulled himself up.  I could probably reconstruct
    Eric's (now 4) walking age plus or minus a year.
    
    I would also say that the basenote child already IS walking, just not
    at the final stage yet.  As I remember the taxonomy of walking from
    Aaron's infancy, threre are about 7 distinct stages, roughly as follows:
    
    	1. Pulling to standing position (but no lateral movement).
    	2. Cruising with at least one hand holding tight all the time.
    	3. Cruising with sliding hands on continuous support.
    	4. Switching between non-continuous supports, but always touching
    		at least one.
    	5. Crossing short non-support gap without continuous touching (at
    		first the motion must be parallel to the supports).
    	6. Crossing wide spaces, but path still determined by supports.
    	7. Navigation without regard to support placement.
    
    It's actually more complex, as both 6 and 7 can be subdivided further
    based on the mean distance between falls.  It is a looonnnggg time
    before falling ceases to be an issue, and truely "carefree" walking is
    taken for granted.  What point counts as "real" walking?  Take your
    pick.  
    
    The development scheme is real, by the way, and followed by almost all
    kids, though the time between stages varies greatly; I'm pretty sure I
    originally learned it from Penelope (though I think this version is a
    little more finely divided).  Aaron reached Step 1 at 7 months plus one
    week.  He reached Step 5 one month later, and Step 7 (with lots of
    falls) one month later.  That's an earlier start and a bit faster
    through the sequence than most kids; and since Aaron was _not_ an early
    _crawler_, he spent very little time on all fours.  As I said, I don't
    remember Eric's milestones, though I could probably figure some out
    from old videotapes.
    
    One other vaguely related development story.  Although early at some
    other skills, Aaron was rather late with words; he just didn't seem to
    be interested in them.  Then, just as his parents were getting ready to
    start being genuinely worried, he walked up the refrigerator one day,
    pointed, and clearly and unmistakably said "I want milk."  He has
    scarcely stopped talking since (except when he's reading).
    
    So, as cj's quote says, kids learn to "walk" (or talk, use the toilet,
    eat meat, eat veggies, or whatever...) "when they're ready."
    
    		- Bruce

    Re: .0
    
    > Hi everybody!  I have a question that I'm sure every parent has
    > but did a dir/keyword=walking and got "no such note".
    
    :-) They still will...
    
    ... and your title doesn't have "walking" in it either!
    
    (Actually I just added keyword "walking" to your .0)
    
    	-- Charles

    Same experience as Lori of .1 but at 14 months... and hardly any
    cruising before - she liked "strolling" around in one of those walking
    chairs...!  She'd scoot around to her heart's content then sit a while
    and then scoot some more... The result of this device was she did
    practically no crawling until after she started walking (would you
    believe it ?!), refused to sit in the push chair for any length of time
    in one stretch... So I spent from 7 - 14 months bent in two
    holding those tiny little hands so mademoiselle could walk around...!
    
    CJ has it right - they do it when they're ready !
    
    Diana

    Huumm, the mention of the walker in an earlier note reminded me that:
    
    My Mom mentioned that although JA could totally navigate her walker
    since about 6 months, she would never learn how to crawl if we didn't
    put her on the floor.  Trouble was, JA loved her walker so much, that
    she found being on the floor very frustrating (couldn't do anything!).
    Also, at that time, she was still falling over (from the sitting position),
    which really upset her.  So it was just so much easier to leave her
    spend most of her "awake" hours in her walker.
    
    So JA was an earlier "walker" (cruising at 7 months, which I attributed
    to use of the walker) ... however, I didn't think she would ever learn
    how to crawl (which really bothered my mother and sister).  They
    babysat JA a few days and must have spent the whole time showing her the
    concept of crawling.  Then I got better about putting her down on the
    floor.  She must have been almost 8 months old before she decided to
    chase the dog, got up on all fours and took off in a flash!
    
    So JA was an earlier walker and late crawler ... and I do believe that
    they "let go" when they're ready, but Jim/I credit her walker (and some
    of her other development "tools") for motivating and challenging JA, as
    well as lots of "showing and teaching" from Mommy/Daddy.
    
    Just my two cents!
    Dottie
                      

    Dottie,
    
    FWIW, 8 months is NOT a late crawler according to all the books
    that I've read.   I believe that 9 months is the average!
    
    cj/

    My doctor made an interesting comment months ago that I tend to agree
    with - her feeling is that walkers are basically for parents; children
    will stand, walk, crawl or basically MOVE whether they are exposed to a
    walker or not.  Some children are basically very active and will pull
    themselves up to stand and cruise. Others basically go from sitting to
    running (when they get to that stage).
    
    FWIW, many babies never crawl - they simply walk when they decide to.
    

    re: Bruce's remark about his son and walking and talking:
    
    Our pediatrician told us that it's very common for a child to
    concentrate on one aspect of development and leave another for
    later.  A kid who's very intent on learning to walk will be trying
    to practice it all the time and won't care about imitating sounds;
    a kid who's very involved in fine motor skills, like learning to
    manipulate the buttons on the busy box, might not care about
    moving around.  But it all balances out and it doesn't mean the
    kid is "behind" in anything.  They'll pick up the skills they're
    ignoring sooner or later.
    
    --bonnie

Favourite words from the last 2 notes = -.2 'basically' and -.1 'very'.

*8^). *;-).

    I basically never use the word basic :-)
    

    My daughter never really crawled, just al little bit around 13-14
    months - long after she began cruising furniture.  She also didn't walk
    unaided until 15 months.  She waited until she was very sure of
    herself.  The result was that when she did walk she was very steady on
    her feet and we had very few falls and bruises.  A point of interest -
    she also had an extensive vocabulary by that point and was already
    putting words together.  
    
    This style of being *really* ready to do something has shown up in
    other endeavors she takes on and seems to be a part of her personality. 
    She wouldn't let us take the training wheels off  her bike in spite of
    the fact they had been raised to the max and rarely touched the ground
    any more.  And when they did come off she was already solid and no
    running after her holding the seat was required.
    
    My son, on the other hand, crawled at 6 months, walked unaided at 9 3/4,
    barely spoke until 18 months and has already gone through a fortune in
    bandaids....
    
    Norma

    re .21 - Hi Norma!
    
    FWIW
    
    Nathan walked at 9 months
    Kristen walked at 15 months
    Jacob walked at 13 months
    Josh 10 months old, crawled just 4 weeks ago, cruising everything,
    walking? who knows when.
    
    It's all the individual kid, and in the overall scheme of things the
    age at which they walk bears little reflection on ANYTHING else in
    their life, as far as advanced or delayed development.  Walking,
    talking, teeth, eating, toilet training, all progresses at its own rate
    for each child.
    

    Just an FYI....
    
    Yesterday was Joshua's birthday and he decided to walk.  It's kind
    of funny--his dad and his uncle both walked on their 1st birthdays,
    too.  Of course, we caught those 8 steps with the camcorder!
    
    Look out world-here he comes! (and escpecially you, kitty, don't
    think it is going to be as easy to escape from him now!  ;-))
    
    pam

For Evan's first birthday, his grandmother came out from California and 
several family friends came over for the party, too.  Grandma flew back
a couple of days later, and 4 days after his birthday Evan decided to
walk.  

What timing!  :-}

          Carol

    Gee, there's an interesting pattern here.  Aaron first pulled himself
    up and started to cruise quite out of the blue while on a Christmas
    holiday visit to his grandparents.  Do you suppose that walking is
    caused by a virus that can only be transmitted by grandparents?
    
    		- Bruce

    Alex walked at 13 1/2 months (like her Mom) on one of our last
    visits to Great-Grandma.  The moment was immortalized on VHS, to my
    chagrin, actually, because Alex didn't walk *to* Great-Grandma, but
    *away* from the visiting area and all the way down the hall to the
    nurses' station, where there was raucous encouragement, of course.
    
    Leslie

    You know, we could have something here.  My son Jason walked at
    11 months.  His first steps were to is Grammy on one of her visits too. 
    He got so excited to see her, he just let go of the couch and walked
    about 8-10 steps towards her.
    
    Donna
    

    My son walked 10 days before his first birthday, at his grandparents'
    house.

    Kat:  church basement in the middle of a pot-luck lunch because
    she got scared standing alone in the middle of all these strange
    ladies and had to run to catch up to Mama.
    
    Steven:  family room after supper one night, at Dad's coaxing.
    
    --bonnie

I dunno, Bonnie.  Had their grandparents *phoned* lately?  :-)

This reminds me that the first time that *I* walked was to my grandmother.
She had a shiny compact (you know, makeup container, not car) that I wanted
to see, so I crossed the room to get it.  As soon as I got over there, I
fell backwards and didn't walk again for 3 months.  I had been 9 months
old that first time.

         Carol

    I can't recall the first steps of any but my youngest..
    
    she walked at her uncle's wedding, and the grandparents were
    present.
    
    but I don't think that the granparents we involved in the other
    three kids first steps.
    
    Bonnie

    my son walked at just under 11 months -- across his room to his
    grandmother, holding on to his hairbrush for support.  my daughter was
    sort of 'forced' into walking at 12.5 months -- i couldn't carry her
    any longer -- but right now i can't honestly remember her first solo
    steps.
    
    /sandy

    I have had children that have walked earlier that 1 year and my friends 
    have had children who have walked later that 2 years. It depends on the
    child and what his/her ditirmination and fear/pain level is.
    
    My oldest daughter was walking befor 11 months as we would find 
    her standing in the middle of the room if we left for a moment and
    came back. No matter how hard I tried to catch her she somehow
    senced when her dad or I was watching. She was still at the point
    where she could only pull up from a low table or couch and cound not 
    sit down with out going boom. 
    
    My youngest was a detirmined little fellow. He started pulling up and 
    letting go imediatly. Drove my Provider and mother crazy(my mom goes
    to Providers house to be with my kids daily). After 2 months my
    provider suggested that we consider a soft sided play pen if only to 
    give her a break from worring about his injuries. He fell down 10 to 20 
    times a day and still would not stop trying to walk and when he could 
    finally keep ballance enough to make a few steps he started immediatly
    to speed up. When he was about 14 months old he fell less frequently
    and was working on high speed turns(He could only walk in straight
    lines and would fall every time he tried to turn around. My Mother
    and Father -in-law were watching him for a week while he was going
    through this stage and were pleased as punch when he finally mastered
    the skill. After that he would practice and for every turn he made
    without falling he would run back for Grandpop and Grandmom and 
    beg for a hug"What a Good Job John". He was so oviously pleased 
    when ever he accomlished what he had set out to do. He was really
    transpartent or I have learned to read baby body language better.
    
    I do believe that average children will achieve the goals that they set
    for themselves. Some children chose not to walk. Why should they, mom
    or dad will give them a ride whenever they want right.(those are the
    more brilient kids that know how to work smarter not harder).
    
    John Impressed me with his detirmination to learn balance before his 
    body was ready for it. His detirmination is a good part of his
    personality. He remembers long after I do what his original intent
    was and has learned to accept our distractions and attempt what he 
    wanted when we think he is distracted. 
    
    janet
    
    

    Just an FYI--can't believe it's only been a month since I started
    this note.  Joshua is now running across the living room!  How quickly
    they learn!!!!  And yes, he is running, not walking.  Next week
    he will move into the next room (1-2s instead of "babies") and has
    been visiting all week to get used to the new enviroment.  It is
    phenomenal to me to see the growth/development in 1 month.
    
    Pam

    
    Hi everyone,
    
    My son (Joey) just turned 1yr. July 12, and has been walking since he
    was 8 months.  A lot of parents at daycare commented.  My husband and
    I would always walk him around the house as well as using his walker.
    Till one day he started standing up against furniture and just giving
    himself that push on his own, he would fall but get right back up.  
    Today on the other hand, all he wants to do is go out.  He's very
    self-dependant, I can't help him do anything!! I would take him out in
    the backyard and he would run around try to walk UP the slide in the
    yard - he would also climb on my picnic table then from the seat climb
    up onto the table and just sit there and laugh cause he knows he is
    doing wrong.  He's TOO cute & TOO smart!  I just pray that the day
    won't come TOO soon when he will climb out of his crib.  (ah)!
    
    -Nadine
    

    At 17 months, my daughter walks and runs with her toes pointed out and
    the heals in. My questions are:
    
    	- Is this normal? That is, as her legs and muscles develop will her
          toes draw in naturally? Is this even a problem?
    
        - What are the consequences for leaving this as is? ie: is it a
          self correcting issue, or is corrective intervention required
          before her muscle develpoment progresses?
    
    We have a Well Baby Check up with the Pediatrician next month and I
    intend to have her walk for him. 
    
    
    Doug
                                

    I don't know how normal this is for a 17 month old.  We just saw our
    Pedi on Monday for our 13 month old who walks on the inside of one foot. 
    The pedi explained that when children first walk, they sometimes walk
    with their toes pointed out, on the insides of their feet, or with
    their legs a little farther apart than is normal.  She told us to wait
    until our daughter had been walking for 2 or 3 months and if she
    continued to walk like this, they would recommend a specialist.  She
    said that in most cases it corrects itself.
    
    Good luck.

    Gee, we've noticed this in our 12 month old son. The woman at the shoe
    store also noticed and said not to worry about it until he was walking
    on his own. If the problem continued then I should notify the pedi. She
    said sometimes they prescribe special shoes or instruct the parents to
    reverse the shoes. I have a neighbor that's a physical therapist so she
    checked Andy over a little and she said that she thought his feet and
    knees were just fine. She noticed that he was tremendously flexible ,
    especially in the hip joints. SHe thinks that's the cause of the
    outward toe-pointing. We're also guessing that's why he creeps, not
    crawls. He has a well-baby in July; I'm trying to remain calm until
    then.
    Sue
    

    RE: .35, .36, .37 
    
    Just got back from the well baby check, and I had our daughter walk for
    the ped. 
    
    	- Yes, her toes do point out; but he says to leave her be. In days
    	past efforts were made to alter muscle development with special
        shoes, without much real success or benefit.
    
    	- I'm still apprehensive. I'd hate to miss the window to correct 
        something early. But the Dr's opinion is similar to that given in
        .36 and .37. It's second opinion time to settle a father's
        nervousness. Thanks for the earlier replies!
    
    
    Doug
    
     
                                                    

    I looked for a note on Walking, but came up wih nothing.
     
    So I'll post it here:
    
    My daughter is 11 months old she will be a year old Sept 9th. She has
    been cruising the furniture for a couple months. Just the other day she
    started to let go and walk no more than 5 steps before falling into our
    arms or falling on a HUGE teddy bear she has. My question is, going by
    what nost of you mom's have seen, how long before your babies actually let
    go and kept going? I now you can't really estimate but I thought that once
    the child was doing that it's usually soon after they are walking
    unassisted.
    
    Also, she is a chubby baby (23 lbs).So I can understand if it takes a
    little longer. 
    I had tears in my eyes the other day because i was so thrilled she walked 
    as far as she did. I'm not rushing her along, it's just the biggest 
    milestone to be reached in the first year and I can't wait for it to
    happen.
    
    Like to here how your babies acheived the big FEAT!!
    
    Sandy
    
    
    

    
    Stephanie seemed to move VERY quickly from cruising to walking.  Two
    weeks ago she started what you mentioned - let go and took three steps
    to fall into our arms.  Today she can walk the entire length of the
    room, turn around, and keep going.  There are still plenty of falls
    (the scariest part of walking) but I agree - it's so exciting!  Oh, 
    she'll be 10 months next week.
    
    bev

    Well, you both have only just begun...Evan started that about two
    months ago.  Now is not only walking and turning around...in our house
    you can go in a complete circle in the downstairs...just the other nite
    he started walking around the whole house with either a picnic jug or
    his little lunch box say..."Bye-Bye".  It really was pretty cute.  I
    even noticed that he is trying to run a little.  He is now 14 months.
    
    Have fun this time goes so quickly.  It seems just like yesterday, my
    oldest son was doing the same thing.  Now he is getting ready to start
    kindergarten.
    
    
    Lillian