Conference moira::parenting

    
    I had the option to have my baby room in with me or stay at the
    nursery. I chose to let my baby stay in the nursery *when I wanted*.
    That's the key statement. At my hospital, Burbank Hospital in
    Fitchburg, I was allowed to come and get the baby when I wanted and
    drop her off at the nursery when I wanted. I was very glad I chose the
    option I did. When my first was born, I tried taking a nap in the
    afternoon with the baby with me in her bassinet. I didn't sleep a wink.
    I heard every little noise she made. I also never had either of my
    children sleep in the master bedroom. I didn't need them that close to
    hear them. I didn't even need a monitor to hear them. 
    
    From the sounds of it Memorial has you chose one way or the other.
    At Burbank I did not have to chose rooming-in to have my baby with
    me almost 100% of the time. I would bring the baby back to the nursery
    around 9pm, the nurses would bring the baby back to me when she got
    hungry and I would return her to the nursery when I was done feeding
    her. If I had wanted to keep her with me all I had to do was let them
    know, cause if you didn't return the baby after a while they would come
    and make sure everything was okay.
    
    So basically the decision is yours, based on how well you think you'll
    sleep with the baby in the room with you. Do you plan to have the baby
    in with you at home? Do you mind sharing a room with someone else??
    Although I had not chosen rooming-in I did request (and got both times)
    a private room, this was a must for me. I don't have any family in the
    area so my only visitors was my husband and my daughter when my second
    was born. I didn't want to end up rooming with someone with a million
    relatives visiting in our room while I was trying to learn to
    breastfeed my baby.
    
    Good Luck, Patty

    I delivered at Memorial, I loved the place!
    I started in one of the birthing rooms but had to be put into a regular
    2-person room after an emergency c-section.  The birthing rooms are
    very nice rooms, don't know if you've seen the rooms or not but they
    are almost like a mini-livingroom.  Couch, table and chairs, cradle
    for the baby, your own private bathroom.  I thought it was great for
    the occasion.  
    
    The regular rooms were pretty nice too.  I had a 2-person room but I
    was the only one there during my 5-day stay.  (I thought this was great
    about Memorial, they wouldn't put two people into the 2-person rooms
    unless they were so full that they just had too.  You do take your
    chances here though.)    
    
    You need to think about how much time you're going to want to have the
    baby with you.  In the birthing rooms, you do everything.  The nurses
    are certainly around to help if needed but you are the main caregiver. 
    In the 2-person rooms, the nurses will do much more (obviously if the
    baby is going to be in the nursery.)  Even after a c-section I had my
    baby with me most of the time but I did have a hard time moving around
    and needed to have the nurses change him for the first 3 days.  
    
    I think it mostly depends on whether you'd want to get a lot of rest or
    not.  If you are in the regular room, you can always have the baby put in
    the nursery so you can get some sleep too.  I myself would again opt
    for the birthing room if possible.  Another thing to think about is
    visitors, if you'll be having many visitors and you have a 2-person
    room, you need to be considerate of the other person and visits from
    family memebers and friends should be kept short.  And, you have to
    hope that the other mom will be just as considerate for you.  
    
    Jean
    

	The choice is between an LDR room (Labor, Delivery, Recovery)
	and an LDRP room (Labor, Delivery, Recovery, Postpartum).

	With the first, you move to a 2-person postpartum room after
	recovery.  Your baby stays in the nursery, and can come to
	your room as much as you want.

	With the second, you postpartum in the room you delivered in,
	and the baby MUST stay with you at all times for the duration
	of your stay.  Husbands can stay over, too.

	With both of my children, I was placed in an LDRP room for 
	labor, even though I selected the LDR.  The nurses liked the
	extra room of the LDRP, and promised to move me after recovery
	anyway.  I just felt I'd need the rest after delivery, and
	wanted the option of sending the baby to the nursery.

	With my first, I kept her in the room with me a lot, but sent
	her back at night.  When my milk started to come in and she
	was extra fussy, I was glad to be able to send her to the nursery
	so I could get a little break (besides, the volunteer baby holders
	were happy to get a snuggle!)

	With my second, I was a little emotional after my C-section, and
	my medication was allowing me to sleep at the oddest of times
	(in the middle of a phone conversation with my sister ;-)), so
	I felt more secure with him in the nursery (note, I think if you
	have a C-section, you can't stay in the LDRP room even if that
	was your original choice).

	I did not have to share my room, and neither did my sister for
	her two babies.

	Karen

    
    For more information on this subject, you might also look into
    the responses in note 415 " Insurance/HMOs - what's covered?".
    The discussion begins around 415.10 specifically addressing
    the cost of various rooming options but digresses to a general
    discussion around which option is preferable.
    
    Carol Stolicny, PARENTING co-mod

    We loved the birthing room at Nashua Memorial where I was from the time
    I entered the hospital until I took Neel home. Neel was in the nursery
    when I wanted and he was with me when I wanted. I did not realize that
    there was a 2 person room choice. I loved the room that was private for
    me and my family.
    
    Shaila

    I was in a LDRP Room.  It was great to have my husband staying the
    nights.  I delivered at St. Vincent's in Worcester and because there are 
    only 2 of those rooms, they are in high demand and you have to be 
    out after 36 hours of delivery.  Because I stayed an extra day, they 
    transferred me to a 2-person room, but I didn't have a roommate with me.  
    
    I could have Alyssa with me for the whole day if I wanted to.  We
    usually kept her with us and at night sent her back to the nursery.  We
    figured if something happened to her, the nurses would be right there
    to respond.  And, Alyssa was still coughing up the delivery fluid from
    her lungs, so we felt alittle safer having her in the nursery, and not
    to mention Mom needed the sleep.
    
    
    
    

    this is years back, but with Lolita I had her with the standard
    shared hospital room, and I don't reccomend it, unless you have a
    reason other than normal recovery.  I guess probably one of the reasons
    it left such a bad taste in my mouth was the fact that they tried to
    bring me a little boy THREE times in two days, complete with bottle of
    formula.  Also, Lolita was on demand, but I only got her every four
    hours, when they delivered babies on a schedule until I raised hell.  
    I'm pretty sure they were relieved when I checked out.  She also came
    down with a nasty RSV which turned into pneumonia, as did several
    babies in the nursery.
    
    The other two were born at home, and never left my bed.  Even with the
    newborn snuffles and snorts, I slept much better knowing they weren't
    going to get mixed up or exposed to goddess only knows what plagues the
    other babies had.  I could nurse any time I felt like it, and it really
    felt better to me.  If I had to be in a hospital, for me I would opt
    never to have my baby out of my sight, unless my partner or someone in
    my family was with her.  I know this sounds paranoid, but I can't help
    but wonder who kept getting my girl when they brought me the boy, and
    what would have  happened if she had wanted a girl, or something else
    had happened when she was out of my sight.
    
    meg  

I'd go with the private room if you can get it.  Personally, I just hate the
idea of sharing a room with a stranger.  Period.

I'm *really* curious as to why your nurse recommended the 2-per-room plan...

    
    RE: .8 
    
    Some hospitals don't have private rooms except for the LDRP room.
    The nurse may have recommended the "2-per-room" plan since it 
    allows you to return the baby to the nursery and because the
    LDRP rooms are usually few, in high demand, and may require an
    earlier-than-normal checkout.   
    
    St. Vincent's in Worcester (used by Fallon) was this way.  
    Only 2 LDRP rooms.  I really wanted either the LDRP or
    the LDR room but it was so busy Memorial Day weekend that
    I ended up with a closet (i.e. normal Labor Room) and delivery
    in the Delivery Room.   One unhappy camper was I!   Ended up
    in one of the post-partum rooms with a woman who had just had
    her 13th child.  Another big disappointment!   Only 1/2 of her
    children visited at one time but talk about chaos and lack of
    privacy.
    
    I like my privacy and would opt for an LDRP room.
    
    cj/  

    
    
    	At Memorial (the hospital the basenoter will deliver at), Mom,
    	Dad and baby all get matching bracelets.  No one can receive
    	or return a baby without the nurses matching id numbers on the
    	bracelets.  Even if the nurse wheels the baby out of the room
    	for 10 minutes, then brings him right back and knows it's your
    	baby, they still match up the numbers.
    
    	My husband took his bracelet off when he went home, and could
    	not get Andrew out of the nursery on subsequent visits.
    
    	I don't know if other hospital's LDRP rooms are like this, but
    	at Memorial, if you choose the LDRP, you do not have the option
    	of sending the baby to the nursery.  Baby MUST room in with you
    	for the duration.      
    
    Karen

    
    
    I had both my children at Nashua Memorial, and had LDRP rooms both
    times and never did they say we HAD to keep the baby in the room.  
    Both times they suggested we send the baby back to the nursery at night 
    to get sleep.  They also suggested leaving the baby at the nursery when 
    we had our special dinner before we left.
    
    		Robin

	re .11

	That's my point.  The basenoter asked specifically about
	Worcester Memorial (now known as The Medical Center of
	Massachusetts), where you do *have* to keep the baby in
	your room with no nursery option.  They stress this quite
	heavily in their lamaze classes.

	Karen

    maybe I am strange, but why would anyone not want their baby with them
    all the time, unless they had some  serious complication which prevents
    being able to take  care of the baby?   After all, this is a time for
    serious bonding with the baby, and also helps one's milk to come in more
    quickly.  
    
    meg

    
    Meg,
    	No, you are not strange. Some people want their baby with them 100%
    of the time, some don't or can't. For me, I can not sleep with my baby
    in the same room. I discovered this with my first when I tried to nap
    with her in the room and was disturbed by every little noise she made.
    I am, by nature, a very light sleeper. Once home from the hospital my
    child was in her own room right from the beginning, so why would I have
    her with me 100% of the time in the hospital. If I didn't get any sleep
    by keeping my daughter with me, I would have not been much use to her.
    My second daughter was a much quieter sleeper. I had her sleep with me
    when hubby was already up for work or I was visiting my mom without
    him. This I found to work great cause I could nurse her without really
    waking up. I was only in the hospital with her one night. She stayed
    in the nursery and both times she needed feeding during the night I
    went to the nursery to get her just as she was waking. I guess I was
    just in tune with her. I really don't feel I was missing out on
    anything and my milk came in just fine. Basically everyone has their
    own opinions and beliefs and I felt I would be much better off getting
    some rest (what little you do get with a newborn) than being kept awake
    by all those little baby noises.
    
    Patty

    I don't think you are strange, Meg; but I do know my sister's reason
    for needing _some_ time away from her babies in the hospital.
    
    With both of her children, the combination of a strange bed, strange
    routineand being hyper-conscious of the new baby she was flat unable to
    sleep at all. With her first she finally asked the nurse to take her
    daughter away after 20 hours post-partum sleeplessness, got about 90
    minutes of rest/sleep, and then was discharged. Once they were home
    they were together pretty much 100% of the time.
    
      Annie

	Emily roomed in with me most of my stay, but I wanted the
	back-up of the nursery in case I got tired.  At night, I
	felt more secure with Emily in the nursery, where I knew someone was 	
        watching her.  After both of my kids were born, went I slept,
	I slept very deeply.  I did nurse on demand, with instructions
	to *not* give my kids water/sugar water/formula at night.

	With Andrew, I had a C-section and couldn't put him in and
	out of the bassinet.  I did, however, have him with me about
	16/24 hours a day.

	Again, I just liked having the option of the nursery.

	Karen

    I was at Framingham Union in a birthing room... til it turned into a
    C-sec; then I went to a semiprivate.  I wanted to have Alex with me all
    the time, but someone (probably my Mom) suggested that I go the "on
    demand" route in case the baby would interrupt my sleep.  (Fat chance:
    a locomotive through my room normally wouldn't interrupt my sleep!)
    
    It worked out pretty well.  I had Alex with me all day long, and the
    deal was that they'd deliver her to me for demand feeding.  The two
    problems I had with this set up were, in order of importance:
    
    1.  It took me probably a day and a half to catch on to the fact that
        the nurses were taking it upon themselves to give Alex SUGAR WATER
        instead of bringing her to me to nurse.  I raised hell and wouldn't
        listen to their protests about how long it takes milk to come in. 
        Hey, this is an 8#9oz baby, and the big favor you're doing me is
        reducing Alex's demand and the jugs' stimulation!!
    
    2.  (Extremely minor complaint, I know:) The nurses persisted in wrapping 
        Alex's hands in those stupid mitts at the end of infant shirts
        *and* "swaddling" (binding) her.  This was not a baby who "needed
        the security" of being tied up in a blanket.  Grr.
    
    Leslie 

    I meant to say that Alex went to the nursery *at night*, and they did
    bring her around periodically through the night for nursing, probably
    around every 4 hours.  I soon realized that she *wanted* food every 2
    hours (maximum), and that's when I asked how she was making it through
    the night at *4* hours.  The answer was sugar-water (or sucrose
    solution, or the like) so I told them to knock it off.  They were under
    the impression that they were doing me a favor by letting me sleep, and
    they also made feeble protests about how babies can get dehydrated if
    the mom's milk isn't in....  Probably true, but *this* baby had good
    weight, great APGAR, great appetite and no signs of dehydration, so I
    told them to knock it off until such time, if any, that Alex did show
    signs of dehydration.  Sheesh.
    
    Leslie_who_was_a_leaky_fountain_at_3_days_postpartum

    
    Of course, selecting a rooming option is becoming less critical as
    the hospital stay becomes limited to 24 hours (or less) for a
    "normal" delivery....

    I was at Lowell General and had my babies with me for the entire day
    but my husband was also there to help.  I needed pain killers in order
    to fall asleep and didn't trust myself to handle the babies much by
    myself.  They made me very light headed.  The nurses brought the baby
    to me on demand every 2-3 hours.  It was much nicer to have them hand
    me the baby while I sat up in bed than to try to do it myself.
    
    BTW...my 8lb. 9oz. baby boy with perfect apgars did get dehydrated
    ( he had a temp. )the second night that I was there.  I think that
    I was dehydrated from the delivery and didn't have enough fluid for
    the baby.  I gave him water *after* he nursed for about 12 minutes on
    each side and after about 8 hours the fever subsided.
    
    I never got any real sleep in the hospital anyway.  There is always
    someone on the hospital staff coming in all hours of the night and 
    day for something or other.  Medication, check your temp, stitches...
    Then there are the folks who come around with meals, menu selection,
    people to tell you about baby care classes, visiting hours, babies
    first photo, all the family to call...  I felt like I needed
    a todo list at the hospital.  I was even interrupted from a very sound
    and much needed nap by a woman collecting cash payment for the phone.
    She was tapping my shoulder saying "Miss, were going to have to turn
    off your phone if you don't give me $3.00".  I could believe it!  I
    wrote the hospital a letter about that one.  
    
	I get tired just thinking about it,   Mary    			
    

I was at Framinham Union when I had Lauren.  I had an LDR room then a 
private room postpartum.  I had the option of having Lauren with me at
night but I chose the nursery because I really needed the rest.  I had
gotten no sleep the night before (because I knew labor was starting
and was sooo excited!).  Lauren was born at 2PM and I had a very bad
tear (4th degree) and refused to stand until 11PM that night.  I had
slept a couple of hours at that time when they came with Lauren (also
fed on demand).  After I was done feeding her, they took her back and I 
decided that I was ready to try to stand.  When I did, I ended up crying, 
shaking all over (shock reaction), and generally falling apart.  They 
suggested that I skip the next feeding in order for me to get some good
sleep.  They gave her sugar water for that feeding but did bring her in
around 6AM.

I'm glad that I didn't room with her.   I was so completely exhausted and
in alot of pain.  I really needed that time away from her.  I had 2 nights
in the hospital, then started the ordeal at home.  I was having a very
hard time breastfeeding and the next two weeks were miserable for the
entire family.  I don't even know how I managed but I'm sure that those
2 nights in the hospital without me having to worry every minute helped.

FWIW, after 2 weeks, I stopped breastfeeding.  If you are not planning
to breast feed, you might want to room with her.  Learning how to breast
feed and dealing with the initial pain involved (for me it never ended
which is why I stopped) can be very exhausting especially after you've
dealt with the trials of child birth.  

Karen

I had one baby at Emerson in Concord, MA and one at
Nashua Memorial in Nashua, NH.  It was basically
the same in both places.  Given the option of a private or
shared room, I chose private (and got them.  If they
had been busier, I might not have).

My opinion is that whatever you choose, it's only for 24 hours,
and if you speak up while you are in the hospital, you will
get what you want.  Tour the center in advance on a quiet night, 
and pump the nurses for information on how to work with the staff.  
(I got very good advice on how to plan a visit from Elise while
I was still in the hospital with Sarah.  The nurse was honest that 
they didn't like toddler visits, but she shared the benefit of her 
experience on the subject. It worked out very well, thanks to her.
I also had had misgivings about the midwives I was using and she
gave her opinions on the midwives and the ob/gyn doctors in the area.
That was a big help.)

Interview pediatricians in advance, and see how flexible they are 
about doing rounds in your room as opposed to in the nursery and 
writing orders that allow or disallow water/sucrose, depending upon 
what you want.  Rethink a pediatrician who lacks flexibility.

Just my opinion...

Pat

    Hi Folks,
    
      Thanks for all the wonderful advice...I'm still not sure what I'm
    going to do...At least I have time to think about it...I like
    the idea of the baby going to the nursery at night but when the time
    comes I'm not sure if I wont want the baby with me always so a semi-
    private room would not work...
    
    Re 8:  The nurse at the doctors suggested the LDP room so that I could
    rest at night...this is what she did and she highly recommended it...
    Although I think I might try to set up a walk thru and ask women there
    what their opinion is of the hospital..either way its only a 24 hr.
    stay....
    
    anyway thanks for all the information...
    
    renee

    To update an old note..
    
    I'll be delivering my baby at Worcester Memorial Hospital (due date,
    September 7th).  They have just opened a brand new maternity wing and
    now have NO semi-private rooms at all.  All of the rooms are LDRP rooms.  
    They "STRONGLY encourage" you to keep your baby in your room, and many
    times will not be able to send the baby to the nursery due to lack of
    staff and room.  They have 40 rooms, all LDRP, and only enough room in
    the nursery for 16 babies.  The nursery is basically for premie babies
    or for border babies (ones that are up for adoption).
    
    Holly