Conference moira::parenting

Is surrogacy legal in the state where Lisa lives?  It's illegal in most states
-- I believe NY just joined the list of states where it's illegal.

    I'm not sure what the big deal is here.  We have sperm banks.  Lesbians
    get artifically inseminated.  Why do some people seem to have such a
    hangup about this?
    
    Now for a biological question...In this case, since both Lisa and Ian
    are fertile, would it be possible to fertilize one of her eggs in the
    lab and implant it in the surrogate?  Or would this trigger the
    surrogates 'foreign body' rejection mechanism.
    
    If it is possible to use the fertilized egg method, it would seem that
    the surrogate mother is simply a 'fetus motel' and she shouldn't have
    any valid claim to the resulting child.
    
    re: .0 Jodi, I hope Lisa and Ian can find what they are looking for.
    
    Bob

    I don't know, having gone through a pregnancy I think that there is
    more to it than just being a "fetus motel". Think about what happens,
    two little half cells unite, implant, and eventually form a unique
    human being.

    	Along the way, the mother supplies a unique combination of
    nutrients and chemicals (it is well known that environmental stresses
    affect the physical outcome of the baby is it that far of a leap to
    think that psychological stresses could equally affect the outcome?).

    	I think that at one point in my life, I might have just thought of
    the process as being a human incubator, I now look upon it as being a
    creator of sorts.

    	My point, is that if you took two identical eggs and implanted one
    in one woman and another in another woman, I believe that you would end
    up with similar but very different children.

    	Believing that I would think that the surrogate mother would have
    both a literal investment as well as a claim to any child that she
    bought to term.

	That may have something to do with this discussion it may not, as
    there is no proof of this happening we can only conjecture. I just
    think that the term "fetus motel" does not do the process justice.

			Wendy

re .2:

>    If it is possible to use the fertilized egg method, it would seem that
>    the surrogate mother is simply a 'fetus motel' and she shouldn't have
>    any valid claim to the resulting child.

Any claim she might have would probably be decided in court.  Remember that
highly-publicized surrogacy case a few years ago?  Lisa and Ian should
get themselves a lawyer who specializes in this.

    There was a recent show on 48Hours about surrogacy.  The parents
    "contributions" were used to implant in a surrogate (who happened to be
    the sister of the woman).  In another story, the father donated his
    contribution and the woman (surrogate) donated hers.  After the child
    was born the man and his wife divorced and the surrogate sued for
    custody.  Weird case!  Anyway - there are people in California who
    specialize in this effort.  Have Lisa and Ian keep looking until they
    find them.  It's definately risky!  I personally would not surrogate
    for a stranger, nor would I ask a stranger.  I would do it for a
    sister, and maybe even a close friend.  I would not ask a close friend,
    but would ask a sister.  Your friend might even get in touch with the
    folks at 48Hours and see if they can get her in touch with the lawyer
    in California who specialized in this kind of deal.
    
    -sandy
    

Although .4 is correct that there was a highly publicized case back a 
few years (the Baby M case), there are some differences. For instance,
I believe Lisa and Ian would be using a surrogate mother to carry the baby
to term that would be conceived through IVF using Lisa's egg and Ian's 
sperm.  This is common in surrogacy, and makes Lisa and Ian the biological
parents.  The main difference between that and the Baby M case is that the
sperm was from the couple that used the surrogate mother, but the egg was
the surrogate mother's egg, so she was the biological mother.  Made things
very sticky.  

Surrogacy can be done either way where the egg/sperm is from the couple
seeking to have the child or where the egg is donated by the surrogate
mother and conception is usually done though some sort of artificial
insemination.  There are laws in various states that regulate this.  Perhaps
the local chapter of Resolve may have more information about it.  I think
it would definitely be worth a call to them.

And although there have been 1 or 2 highly publicized surrogacy cases that
have gone through the courts, there have been many more that people don't
hear about.  My husband worked with a woman who had used a surrogate due
to a hysterectomy at a very early age, and she spoke quite highly of the 
process.  I think she may have also used Resolve to help her, but I'm not
sure.

    Thanks everyone for some sensitive and caring replies...
    
    RE: .1 (Gerald) Is surrogacy legal in California?
    
    Yes.
    --------------------------------------------------------------------
    RE: .2 (Bob) Egg fertilization and rejection...
    
    Ian and Lisa will use IVF to fertilize their sperm and egg. Once
    the cell division begins (about 48 hours), the zygote will be placed
    in th uterus for implantation. So basically the surrogate is a host
    for a fetus that is not 'biologically" hers.  The courts, by the way,
    would generally rule in their favor, if it came to that.
    
    I asked Lisa about the 'rejection' factor and she said it is not
    an issue.  
    --------------------------------------------------------------------
    RE: .5 (Sandy) Contact 48 Hours...
    
    This is a great suggestion, just the kind I was looking for. Thanks.
    --------------------------------------------------------------------
    In fact I want to make it clear here I am not advertising for a 
    surrogate, just looking for direction. But, if you do know of 
    someone who is interested in surrogacy or has been in this situation,
    contact me with mail or a phone call.
    
    Thanks,
    Jodi-
    NEWPRT::Newell
    DTN 535-4444
    (714) 261-4444
    

The note that mentioned Resolve is correct.  They do have information on
surrogacy.

    RE: Resolve...
    
    Lisa already contacted Resolve and they would only point her to
    surrogate agencies, which is a direction they really don't want
    to take.
    
    Jodi-

It might also help to find someone who has been a surrogate before.
I know it would help *my* peace of mind if I ever had to hire a surrogate,
to know that the surrogate had turned over the (other) child after its birth.
Although most surrogates do as they have contracted to do, its still scary.

Good luck to them!

       Carol

    Noel Keane is the lawyer from Dearbon MI who just opened an office in
    Cal. He is the lawyer who arranged Baby M as well as 400 some odd other
    surrogates .

    This might be a "way out" suggestion, but has Lisa tried acupuncture to
    relieve her nausea?  I have a few friends who swear by this.
    
    Karin

    I'm not sure if Lisa has tried accupuncture.  But that may be a
    moot point now.  As we have found a surrogate for her and Ian.
    
    A Digital employee contacted me and I put her in touch with
    Lisa and Ian.  They are working out the details now.  If all
    goes according to plan, I (or the surrogate) will offer updates.
    
    Jodi-

    RE:.11  Attorney Noel Keane...
    
    Does anyone know where in California he practices?
    
    Jodi- 
    
    

    
    So Jodi how are Lisa and Ian doing?  How are things going for them?
    
    Please keep us posted.
    
    Lisa

    I feel badly that I haven't offered an update...
    
    The Digital surrogate left the company shortly after
    her conversation with Lisa and moved. Lisa lost touch
    with her. I guess it wasn't meant to be.
    
    Lisa is considering a new medical program being offered
    for women who suffer from this condition.  First she
    has to work out the panic attacks she has been experiencing
    every month when she thinks she might be pregnant.
    
    She is absolutely crazed by the idea of being pregnant
    but wants to have Ian's child.  
    
    If I hear more, I'll let you know.
    
    Jodi- 

    	So have they found a surrogate yet?  Did Lisa have the baby
    herself?  What's happening?
    	I know this is a very late entry, but I am a new reader and just
    started reading this topic.
    	
    Sophia

The basenoter, Jodi Newell, no longer works for Digital.

I have forwarded your note to her by way of a 3rd party, in case she wishes
to respond.  

        Carol

    Thank you, I appreciate it.
    
    Sophia

As mentioned before, I sent mail to Jodi about her friends.  She says
that Ian and Lisa have not worked out their problems yet.  They have
temporarily decided against the surrogate approach.  Lisa's condition (known
as Hyperemisis sp?) is so severe that her fear of getting pregnant is
overwhelming. They (she) needs to work out those fears first.

   Carol

    That's too bad.  I hope she can work it all out.  Thank you for keeping
    me posted.
    Sophia