Conference moira::parenting

    
    Congratulations on the pregnancy!
    
    I'd say that the "average" age that babies start eating jar foods
    and/or cereals is around 4 months; give or take a few months 8-).
    Before stocking up on baby food, I'd take the time to read 67.*.
    You'll notice there that even very young babies have strong preferences
    as to what they will eat and what they will not eat.   You not going
    to save much if you have 100 jars of baby squash only to find out
    that your child gags on them!    Were it me, I'd only buy jar foods
    now if you found a tremendous sale (which is rare for baby food) and/or
    you had some good coupons (which is less rare) that would expire if
    you waited until your baby was ready for the food.  Nonetheless, if
    you chose to stock pile, I'd go with the plain fruits and orange/yellow
    vegetables as I'd say, on the average, that they're the best-received.
    
    When my son was an infant (about 2 years ago), we spent about $20/week
    on diapers, $25/week on formula, and only $5-10/week on cereals and
    baby food.   Diapers have definitely gone up in price in the past 
    two years, though.
    
    The other thing that I hate to mention, but will, is that pregnancies are
    generally considered to be "out of the woods" after 12 weeks (in terms
    of miscarriages, etc).  I know it's not a very pleasant thought,
    however,  as someone who suffered a late first-trimester miscarriage,
    I think it would have been all the more difficult if we'd had to face
    a pantry stocked with babyfood afterwards.  
    
    
    Best wishes,
    Carol 
    

    	Geesh, I can feel the excitement from here!

    	As the previous noter pointed out, "stockpiling" is not
    necessarily going to save you any money. (if that is the intent).

    	If you stockpile formula, you may have a colicky baby who needs to
    switch brands. If you stockpile food, you may have a finicky eater who
    refuses *brands* of food.

    	If you stockpile diapers, you may have a baby who is too big for
    them (Spencer went into medium size diapers after two weeks, newborns
    never fit and the smalls wouldn't fit as soon as he stretched those
    long legs).

    	You can't even really stockpile clothes as you don't know what size
    the baby will be (Spencer was born wearing 3-6 months all of that
    beautiful newborn stuff lies in waiting).

	If you really feel that you need to stockpile, then stockpile foods
    that are quick and easy for the new (and hectic) mom and dad. Buy a
    bread machine (one of greatest kitchen gadgets both for time and
    output).

    	Stockpile toys (start going to all of the summer tag sales) toys
    can always be packed away and brought out later.

    	Stockpile references (books on breastfeeding, making your own
    babyfood, etc.)

    	Or better yet, take a deep breath, relax and take this wonderful
    experience one day at a time.

    			Wendy

    I have to agree with the previous notes.  I tried to prepare for my
    first baby's birth by buying baby food and diapers and like Wendy
    mentioned babys grow at different rates and have very different tastes.
    I had lots of left over baby food that Alicia hated and diapers that
    she outgrow.
    
    With #2 I didn't stockpile anything.  I make my own baby food from
    canned and fresh fruits and vegetables which is much cheaper.  Jessica
    can't even use alot of Alicia's clothes because they were born at
    different seasons and Jessica weighs now at 6 mos which Alica weighed
    at 14 mos.
    
    
    Congratulations and good luck.
    
    Angie

    Stockpile empty breadwrappers.  Stick the smelly pampers and wipes in
    one of those before throwing it away.  Keeps the house from smelling.
    
    Chris D.

    My concerns over stockpiling food have been similar to what's been
    expressed here so far; mainly what flavors to buy. Also, there are
    various "stages" of foods on the supermarket shelves -- it's tough to
    figure out which ones to get. 
    
    We're not buying diapers, we're only setting money aside each week in
    a "diaper fund". Looks like the smart thing will be to set up a "food
    fund", too.
    
    Mike

    I did stockpile diapers.  It worked pretty well.  I used coupons and 
    bought when they went on sale for a really good price.   For the most
    part same brand costs the same for the different packages...I just 
    switched things out when need be at the stores...never had a problem.
    It came in pretty handy when Lindsay arrived and I wanted to spend my 
    money on baby clothes in the appropriate sex!
    
    Linda
    

    I'd like to add my agreement re: not stockpiling. My baby grew through
    things so quickly; also, food and formula is date stamped. Of course,
    you may have already made up your mind, in which case ignore me...
    
    It is natural to try to prepare in some way. My suggestion is that you
    spend lots of time window shopping. Look around at furniture, snuglis,
    diapers (cloth versus plastic), changing tables, monitors, mobiles,
    dressers, wall hangings, laundry baskets, crib spreads, quilts vs
    knitted blankets, curtains, lamps, carriages, carseats, crib toys,
    bouncing seats, swings, walkers, crib bumbers, music boxes, tape
    players for all that lullaby music, rocking chairs.
    
    Look but don't buy for a while. Let it sink in and think about what you
    really need and which brands, colors, etc you'll buy. Commit to have
    the decisions made by fall. Then decide what you need on day one, maybe
    a cradle rather than a crib, maybe wait until Spring for a stroller,
    you can't leave the hospital without a car seat.
    
    You'll be overwhelmed by how much of your mind versus your pantry you
    will fill with baby things. When the baby comes, you'll make time to
    run to the grocery store, and you'll have all the money you'll save by
    not having rushed out a bought every gadget on the marketplace.
    
    Go slowly and good luck.

    Thanks for all the tips and support. We plan not to buy anything of
    major importance until AFTER the shower. In the meantime, we're going
    to set a side a few Saturdays in the future to go window shopping.
    We'll be armed with what we learned through "What to Expect When You're
    Expecting" and Consumer Reports "Guide to Baby Products". We plan to
    draw up a list of items referencing sizes, colors, model numbers,
    prices, etc., and provide that to the shower organizers. We're
    fortunate to have generous relatives and friends who've already
    remarked they can't wait to buy things for us.
    
    Also, has anyone had experience with New Mother's Registries?
    Burlington Coat Factory in Nashua has a baby department (everything
    from cribs and car seats to pacifiers and clothing) and they advertise
    that they have a registry -- similar to a bridal registry. Is this a
    good idea?
    
    What other notes in this conference are appropriate for those of us in
    the "infancy" stages of our pregnancy?
    
    Mike
    

    
    If you are putting money away for diapers, Childworld has
    a diaper club.  They stamp the card for every bag of diapers
    you purchase.  Then when the card is filled you receive $5.00
    off any purchase in the store.   
    
    When the baby is born, the hospital will give you gift bags
    with coupons and free samples.  
    
    Another money saving idea.  If you choose to go the formula
    route, Gerber has a deal.  You save the UPC symbols from the
    powdered formula, I think for every 4 - they send you a coupon
    for free formula.  I have also received coupons from Carnation
    for their formula's also.  
    
    Gerber has another deal that if you save the UPC off of baby food
    or juices they will send you coupons for more free juices or food.
    
    
    If you live live in NH, there is the NH Buyers Service.  They can
    send you a catalog and use it as a guide to find the products 
    you need.  They have the warehouse for Cribs and Things.  All the
    merchandise in the catalog is 20 to 40% less.  
    
    We also went to Kittery Maine.  They have a Carter's Outlet.  We
    picked up some crib sheets on sale.  You can always use a few
    extra sets in case of an accident.  Along with rubber sheets.
    
    The one thing that I found most valuable were "onesies".  They 
    are the undershirts that snap in the crotch.  They hold the 
    diaper in place and sometimes prevent leaks.  
    
    Last but not least, I would hope that there will be a baby shower.
    Wait and see what gifts you receive from folks, as well and family
    members.   This helps out tremedously.      
    
    You have plenty of time to get ready for the baby.  I know that
    feeling that you want everything ready ahead of time.  Just enjoy
    this time in your life and I agree with everyone else, do some
    window shopping before you buy anything.
    
    Good luck,
    
    Jeanne
    
    

We stockpiled clothes.  We went to garage sales and bought lots of 
neutral sex clothes for 50 cents each.  We bought for nearly every size up
to about 2 years old.  As our son has gotten older, we now still buy that
way for him, but usually not for much more than a couple of years in the 
future (soon he will probably refuse to wear anything from a garage sale,
or anything he didn't pick out himself).

Recently we went to a sale sponsored by a local hospital and spent a ton of
money, but bought 85 items, including maternity clothes, clothes in sizes 4-6,
and a few things for our niece.  One of the maternity dresses alone would have
been at least $50, but we got for something around $5-10.  Many of the 
clothes we got for Evan were Osh-Cosh, Bugle Boy, or other name brands,
and we got them for $2-3 each, instead of $7-20 each.

I wouldn't recommend stockpiling food, either, but stockpiling clothes *can*
be done.  We organize them in boxes marked by size.

Have fun!

      Carol

    
    I agree with alot of the replies in here about not stock-piling food,
    or formulas...and also, when/if you decide to stock-pile clothing, just
    keep in mind what season it will be approximately when the child will
    be able to wear the clothes. 
    
    But the idea of stocking up on toys might be a good one. I know I am
    running out of toys, seeing as they end up all over the place (at
    daycare, at Grampa's, in the diaper bag, in the car(s), in the house,
    in the playpen etc). I'm constantly scrambling to find toys for each
    spot. (ie: rattles, teethers, etc)
    
    Good Luck! And Congrats!
    
    Chris
    

    I can understand the desire to be prepared.  You want to get the
    errands out of the way now, so you can just sit back and enjoy your new
    baby when he/she arrives.  But I found it is unavoidable that there
    will be things that you have to run out and buy after the baby is born. 
    For example, I planned to nurse my baby, but also wanted to have some
    bottles on hand for times when my husband would be feeding the baby. 
    So, before the birth, I bought about a half-dozen bottles.  It turned
    out that my baby hated that particular nipple on that particular brand
    of bottle.  So, on my first day home from the hospital, my husband had
    to run out and buy a different brand bottle.  The baby hated that one,
    too.  Back to the store.  This time my husband purchased one of every
    single bottle and nipple sold, and we finally hit on one that the baby
    would accept.  
    
    So there are some things that you really can't plan for.  You have to
    wait to "meet" your baby and find out what the baby wants.  One thing,
    though, is when you first bring the baby home, you are sure to have 
    friends and relatives asking if they can help out.  Say yes!  But
    don't let them help by just holding the baby.  Ask them to help by
    running to the store for you, while you stay and enjoy the baby.  
    
    One other note.  Most hospitals, on the day you check-out, will ask you
    how prepared you are at home in terms of diapers, bottles, etc.  They
    will give you lots of free supplies to take home.  Don't be shy here. 
    This is part of what your hospital charge is paying for.  Take it all.  
    I brought home from the hospital:  a one-week supply of formula and
    bottles, a 3-day supply of diapers, an extra set of underwear/sox in a
    size that fit my baby, and a receiving blanket, as well as a couple of
    infant toys.  They (the hospital staff) don't want the family to have
    to go to the store for a couple of days, any more than you want to, so
    they give you these things to get you through the first days.
    
    Of course, it is fun to buy some things now in preparation for the
    baby.  Don't completely deprive yourselves of buying anything now, just
    to be practical.  I remember the first thing I bought for the baby.  I
    was about 4 months along and saw such an adorable stuffed teddy bear in
    a store that I just had to buy it for the baby.  When I brought it home
    and placed in on the shelf in what would later be the baby's room, it
    gave me the nicest feeling.  
    
    

    Being somewhat in your position, I can well understand your
    need to feel prepared (I am a consumate stockpiler and preparer).
    
    But I have learned that the key word here is flexibility. I am
    reluctant to buy food for baby because I don't like the idea of
    buying things that firstly may not be used and secondly may have
    a limited shelf life. I would like to try and make some of that
    food fresh.
    
    as I plan to breastfeed (hopefully) the plans for what to feed baby
    can be posponed a little.
    
    As soon as we found out the sex of the baby I went out and used up
    coupons (that would have expired 2 months before the delivery anyway)
    for diapers on sale. I also went out and bought the most generic
    (size wise) cloth diapers I could find (i.e. those that are square
    so that you can fold them for nearly any size or gender). 
    
    Its an amazingly complex consumer "job" if you will, to find what
    you will need for baby. I was hopelessly confused with conflicting 
    information last time, and after we lost Daniel late in the pregnancy
    and started over again with this one, only then did we finally make
    up our minds about what we needed to prepare.
    
    Bottom line: You do not know what size, gender, or tastes baby will
    have. You don't even know what kind of weather it'll be when baby
    comes home (could be mild, could be a snow storm). So, settle on
    the things the baby will need for certain, and you will find lots
    of extras will come your way, in the way of gifts, sales, or even
    those things  you just can't do with (like that teddy bear). 
    
    I know that *I* will have to make those dashes to the store, even
    the most prepared parents tell me that there is always something
    that baby needs that surprises you!
    
    BTW, I found a really useful gift from my Mother-in-law was several
    cloths that could be used for recieving blankets, burp cloths or
    even change cloths. She just bought a lot of different soft terry
    type materials and just hemmed the ends. I suspect they will be VERY
    handy. 
    
    Like I said, be flexible, make yourself aware of what's available and
    do some comparison shopping -- just educate yourselves first. You've
    got time!
    
    Monica
    (who's STILL quizzing people on things!)

    
    You WILL have to buy an infant car seat before the baby is born.  The
    hospital will not let you leave without one.
    
    Chris D.

    So, Monica - did you leave any "blue" diapers in the store??? 8^)
    
    -sandy
    
    

    re .14 - you may not have to *buy* an infant carseat, as many hospitals
    will rent them to you.
    
    Leslie

 I agree with Carol about stockpiling clothes, especially if you are trying to
save $$.  Last summer I must have gone to 10 yard sales and about 5 church
rummage sales and bought baby clothes in good condition for from 25 cents each
to $1 /bag.  The most I think I paid was $1 for a one peice outfit.  I even
got a snowsuit for less than $1.  Then you can wash and fold them all.  There
are really cute outfits to be gotten this way and in good condition. Spring and
summer, and fall are the big seasons for rummage and yard sales.  I found that
equipment was usually in poor condition.
	Linda

        For someone who is not usually very organized, the only way I could
    cope with the nerves was to have *everything* ready, washed, folded...
    I was buying clothes before I was pregnant.  They have a lot of cute
    things that are unisex.  I didn't buy diapers or food or formula.
        The only immediate need I was caught off guard with was a breast
    pump.  I became very engorged when my milk came in.  The baby had a
    hard time latching and got very frustrated on and I was very sore. 
    Made for a very long night.  My husband ran out for one when the stores
    opened the next day.  I'd definately recommend having a manual or
    battery operated one on hand.  I wouldn't open it so you can return it
    if you don't find you need it.  I've also heard a few people who got
    them from the hospital (which is why I didn't buy it).  My insurance
    didn't provide for it.
    
    				Mary

    Stockpile a LOT of goodwill on the part of your friends....Our
    best planning was that our friends do a lot of cooking for 
    eachother.  So after our baby was born, we had a lot of meals
    delivered to our door, ready made.  This was REALLY good for
    several reasons.

    A slight aside, but DONT over-estimage the 'help' that your MOM
    will be (or whoever you plan on having in when you come home).
    Having the meals delivered solved the whole problem of who cooks,
    what to cook, etc. etc.  Our biggest 'new grandma' problems
    revolved around the kitchen, territory, etc.

    Clothes are a great idea....get lots of those little snap and zip
    up sleepers.  You cant have enough.  And you'll know many people
    to pass them on to if you can part with them.  Stockpile sleep.
    Get your errands done in advance....I had to take a call from
    our oil company right in the middle of labor wondering where they
    should put our new oil tank (some things you cant plan for).

    GOOD LUCK
    bob

    
    I agree with someone who said recieving blankets, cloth diapers for
    spit rags, and just small blankets in general. I was lucky to have a
    friend lend me some recieving blankets, that came in VERY handy.
    Especially if youre baby is due in Dec (is that right?).  The first 
    couple of weeks we pretty much kept Michael swaddled, and due to
    spitting, etc, you need more than one a day, thats for sure!
    
    As far as yard sales, I had hit a few last Spring and we got a great 
    infant carseat for just $20, thats was in good shape. And I also found
    some real well made corduroy overalls, unisex colors, that I was
    "hoping" would fit during the winter, and it turned out they fit just
    perfect at just the right time! They were only $1.50 each. Would of
    been over $100 each in stores.
    
    Good luck,
    Chris
    
    PS...Oh, about the help when you come home from the hospital, take it!
         I wasn't left alone for a full day until about 8 days after 
    	delivery, and I was thankful for all the help. Between my mom, my 
    	step-mom, & my best friend. Each one took a day.  ANd the thing I
    	liked best was they didn't try to help with the "baby", they 
    	concentrated on helping with the house, meals, shopping, etc.
    	Because that first few days/week, YOU need to get used to the baby,
    	and the BABY needs to get used to you.  It worked out SO well, and
    	I felt so lucky to have such great help. (hubby had to work)
    

    
    That should of been "worth over $10 each in stores" not $100...
    Sorry...big difference!
    
    Think its time for more coffee.
    
    
    Chris
    

    
    Well, we stockpiled diapers.  My mother-in-law started when I
    was 6 mos buying us a bag of 54 diapers (smalls).  We stopped
    her when I hit the 9 month mark.  We used our coupons and bought
    mediums. I still probably have another 2 month supply!  I found
    it nice having all the diapers without having to run out all
    the time.  Plan on using 6-10 diapers a day.
    
    Fortunately, Mitchell is a slow weight gainer so we are still
    using the smalls...he's 14 1/2 lbs but 26 inches...long and
    skinny!  But....whatever diapers you have left, take them back
    to any store and exchange them for a larger size....they have
    no problems...even if you didn't buy them there.
    
    Things I suggest you need:  Snap onesies...instead of over the
    head type.  Good socks that won't fall off.
    
    Save yourself some time and don't wash clothes/bedding until near the
    end.  During that last month, I got so many outfits and it was nice
    only doing 2 loads of wash and the clothes were fresh.  I washed
    them 2 days before I went into labor (didn't mean to be that close!)
    
    As far as the hospital...we got 2 packages of 20 diapers and 3
    cases of 4 oz formula...I breastfed but supplemented occasionally and
    the formula lasted 'til he was about 10 weeks.
    
    Whatever you stockpile on, even clothes (as long as you have the
    receipt and the tags) you can exchange later.  I bought all kinds
    of clothes when I was about 5 months.  Found out I was having a big
    baby and exchanged them for larger sizes when I was around 9 mos and
    made out better!
    
    Even if you stockpile on food and find he doesn't like a certain
    kind, take it back and exchange it...stores are really flexible.
    
    I got a walker for my shower, threw the box out (easier to store)
    and decided I didn't want to use it.  Took it to Wal*Mart and they
    gave me a credit at the store...I have no idea where it was 
    purchased and did not have a receipt...real easy.
    
    Bottles....buy 1 or 2 of different kinds. You may find you like
    one over the other.
    
    Buy lots and lots of photo albums...they fill up fast.  Buy extra
    film and video tapes if you have a camcorder....don't forget the
    tripod!
    
    I use alot of facecloths and hooded bath towels.  
    
    One thing I strongly suggest, for your shower...give them a list and
    include large items for people to contribute.  I did and I ended up 
    not getting anything duplicated.  My girlfriend did not get any of 
    the large things and got 6 diaper bags, 2 play gyms, etc!
    
    Good luck and have fun...
    
    Kristen

    Some suggestions from a 4-time dad...
    
    Socks that won't come off is an *excellent* idea, Kristen! Buy the
    generic white ones. The best brand we've found is called "Lovebug" or
    something like that (Maybe, "goldbug"?) They've got a rib knit sort of
    bumpy top that *does* keep them on. They are 2 to a pack, I believe.
    They have a sort of little yellow "bug" on teh side of each sock. They
    also come in pink, yellow and blue.
    
    Since baby is coming in winter, I'd strongly recommend blanket
    sleepers! Buy any color you want... baby wears them at nite, so who's
    gonna see them except you??  The ones that are like a bag on the bottom
    are nice at first, but once you're putting the child in a walker,
    they've (obviously) got limitations. The coziest, warmest, most durable
    ones we've found (they all have feet, though) are Sears Winnie-the-Pooh
    extra have ones. They are *expensive*, but frequently go on sale in
    like August and September. Also show up at garage sales a lot... they
    last forever.
    
    One or two somewhat bigger blankets (crib size, I think they are
    called). Receiving blankets are fine for swaddling the baby, for
    makeshift places for baby to lay when out, for a light cover, etc. but
    in cold weather, when that baby gets to be 1 - 2 months old, he/she
    will begin to squirm in his/her sleep, and a bigger blanket keeps 'em
    covered.
    
    a baby bath sponge. Not for washing with, but for laying on. They're
    very nice. You can use it alone in the bottom of your tub, or isnide a
    baby bath tub, if you choose to get one of those.
    
    hooded bath towels (*big* ones! some are very skimpy, and baby will
    outgrow them in a month or two).
    
    Any kind of one-piece underwear. The snap up the front type are easier
    to take off if they get leaked on, but the over the head ones arent'
    too difficult either. They keep baby's little belly warm when you pick
    him/her up (and the clothes ride up around their armpits).
    
    Don't stock up on baby wipes. Some baby's are allergic to certain
    brands/ingredients.
    
    And anything else that suits your fancy! Have fun! I think starting to
    save $$$ now is probably the very best idea, becasue when that precious
    little one arrives, you'll have all sorts of wonderful ideas for things
    you want to get for him/her! How nice to have the funds saved up for
    that!
    
    I can *feel* your excitement! Have a joyous waiting time!
    
    --dave--

    
    re: last...  blanket sleepers
    
    I had to chuckle Dave when reading your reply about recommending the
    blankets sleepers, especially the ones without feet/bag type.  We had a
    couple of these, and on the weekends when my husband would take over
    the middle of the night feedings to give me a break from during the
    week, he used to always search for the "bag" ones in the drawer,
    because they were so much easier when needing to change Michaels
    diaper.  From then on they became know as the "Daddy-duty sleepers". 
    
    Chris
    
    PS. I also found I liked the little nightgowns for the first week or 2.
    	If you are a first time mom like I was, and not used to changing
    	the clothes of a *tiny* infant, these come in handy. He was usually
    	swaddled at the time too, so I knew he was plenty warm.
    

    
    	A word about sleepers,
    
    	I no longer put Spencer in them. After he was hospitalized and had
    a high fever for so long, I found that he tended to get overheated in
    the blanket sleepers very quickly. He'd wake up crying and I'd have to
    vurtually strip him down and wash the sweat to cool him off.
    
    	Now granted, his body thermostat may have been off, and I think
    that he could probably go back into them safely (and probably will next
    fall), but just bear in mind that if your child has recently been sick
    or is sick with a fever, sometimes those sleepers work too well at
    keeping the heat in.
    
			Wendy

    Many thanks for all the tips and support -- I'm elated at the response
    to this new Parenting Conference member.
    
    One more question -- a nurse at pregnancy classes last night told us
    not to buy SMA formula because it's 75% sugar! Any comments? 
    
    Mike

    My daughter is still wearing my son's pajamas.  One of the blanket
    sleepers has "Future Engineer" on it -- she looks so cute in it!
    
    I would only stock up on the real generic stuff, like sleepers,
    crib sheets, hooded towels (even good for swaddling), diapers
    and BABY WIPES.  Remember, the baby will be born in the cold
    weather, so you could skip the stroller till Spring.  However,
    you may want to get a folding umbrella-type stroller so you can
    take her/him to the mall and get out a little!  
    
    I would say, *wait* to buy equipment.  You'll probably have a shower,
    then you can see what you really want/need.  But sleepers, diapers,
    baby wipes, receiving blankets -- you can never have enough of those.
    
    Good luck, I'm so happy for you!

    I've not had a shower for either pregnancy, just a trickle of
    the occasional gift from friends. I didn't expect I would; most
    of my friends are male (the big bunch of goofs I hung around with
    doing my math/compsci degree in university) and I have no family
    and very few local friends since moving from Montreal to Ottawa.
    (truthfully, I was amazed to have a bridal shower while I still
    lived in Montreal!)
    
    However, this changes the tradition of holding off - don't depend
    on the generosity of others completely. Still, its a good idea to
    scout the stores for what you may need and do comparison shopping.
     
    And no, I did indeed leave some of each type of diaper behind in 
    the stores 8-) 8-) 
    
    Monica

    re:25
    
    At least your son can wear sleepers. When my daugheter was a few weeks
    old, she broke out in this mysterious rash and it was in three places
    from her neck to her belly button. In the shape of the snaps or the
    zipper that is on the garment. It turned out that she is allergic to
    metal. So it was very hard to find sleep wear for her without metal
    snaps and zippers. She is now almost 2 and still had the problem.
    Thanks goodness that toddler sleepwear is minus the snaps!
    
        Sandy

    Yes!  Stockpile food!! For yourselves!!  
    
    I think that things would have been much easier on all of us if I had 
    had some meals in the freezer! Or even the time consuming parts of most 
    meals in the freezer.  
    
    We had plenty of folks cooking for us, but they all seemed to cook on the 
    same night.  We never knew they were going to do it so we couldn't politely
    ask them if they would do it on another night.  A few nights what we
    had for dinner became a case of "Okay.  Who will we see tomorrow so we
    can thank them and not have to lie?"
    
    Have fun and enjoy!
    
    W-

    One of the best things we did before Michael was born was to stockpile
    food for ourselves.  He was adopted, so Pat didn't have to recover from
    childbirth, but having a new baby in the house is still unbelievably
    time-consuming.  For months before he was born, Pat fixed meals twice
    as big as we needed and froze what we didn't eat (we do have a deep
    freeze so we had the space).  By the time we got Michael, we had loads
    of spaghetti sauce, chile, casseroles, beef stroganoff, macaroni and
    cheese, ... you name it, if it's freezable I think we had it.  It was
    wonderful, because the alternative would have been take-out -- I love
    pizza, but not three nights a week!  I highly recommend stockpiling
    food for yourselves, particularly if your wife is planning to nurse,
    since nursing mothers generally can't load up on pizza and other spicy
    convenience foods.
    
    Just MHO...
    
    Steve

    I too agree that stockpiling food is a good idea.  I froze enough food
    for a month.  It worked out really well.
    
    I also froze some goodies.  That way when we had company I only had to
    defroast a cake, cookies, or whatever.  
    
    Since we live in NH and our parents live in PA and CT, we had a lot of
    company and I appreciated having homemade baked goods around.  (Maybe
    more for me than them...I have an awful sweet tooth.)
    
    I also bought extra of the basics to have on hand.  I don't think I
    bought clothes detergent, tissues, or toilet paper until Gina was four
    months old.
    
    judy

    
    I agree Judy on the baked goods....I had done the same, froze some
    cookies, brownies, cakes, etc... Because you ALWAYS get tons of vistors
    to see the "new baby", and I just don't feel right if I don't have
    anything on hand to offer.  
    
    Chris
    

We're expecting our first child, a girl, in late September.

Along the line of stockpiling clothes, and so on, what should I expect
to need in terms of winter clothes for a newborn to 6 month old?  
(We live in Nashua, NH.)

I assume she'll need a snowsuit/bunting of some sort.  Can I essentially dress
her in the same sorts of layers that I use when indoors?  We generally 
keep the house on the warm side in the winter: 72 during the day, if we're home, 
and 65 at night.  I'm usually in jeans and a sweater or sweatshirt. Should
I expect her to be in sleepers the first few months, then into pants/overalls
and sweaters/sweatshirts?

Thanks for any advice.  My experience with clothes and kids is based on
my nieces and nephew, who live in Southern California!

--Jennifer

    RE:  -1
    
    My daughter was born October 19 and we live in New Hampshire.  You can
    go by the usual lists of newborn clothing.  
    
    But don't buy too many of each type of stuff.  Aside from the fact that
    your child may swiftly outgrow or never wear things, you may have a
    child (like mine) who gets heat rash in January!  When I removed the
    tshirt under her stretch suit, the heat rash cleared up!  She now goes
    barefoot indoors year round.  Really.
    
    We did get a lot of use out of the snowsuit, though.  I prefer the kind
    with 2 zippers down the front.  It's easier than stuffing the child
    into a 1-zipper suit.  If nobody gives you a snowsuit at a shower, you
    can buy one at a yard sale or a resale store like Childrens Orchard. 
    Oh, and the snowsuit size varies widely depending on your infant's
    weight and height. . . 
    
    It's often still pretty warm in October, so I would recommend you wait
    to buy a snowsuit until you see your child's weight and it gets frosty.
    You can use layers and a blanket temporarily.  Childrens Orchard still
    had a number of snowsuits in early November.

Yes, my idea was picking up some basic things at yardsales this summer.
I think I'll just use care and not get too much of any one thing.

Thanks for the snowsuit advice.

    
    re:.26
    
    
    SMA was recommended to me for my daughter 2 years ago by a
    nutritionist at Fallon Clinic.  I used it to suppliment nursing
    and finally switched to it totally at 6 months old.  Now, my daughter
    was small for her age and perhaps that was why she recommended it, but
    I find it hard to believe that it is 75% sugar.  Next time you go to 
    the supermarket, read the label and see for yourself.
    
    Sue

    
    I second the snowsuit with the 2 zippers down the front, instead of
    just one. My son was born October 17, and we definatly needed one
    through the winter. Also a Med weight sweater or something too, for the
    med weather months of fall.
    
    Oh, and HATS!!  Get a couple of nice warm caps, that fit snugly around
    the head. Thats where we lose alot of our body heat.
    
    Chris
    

    about buying snowsuits before November.
    
    You will discover that the sizing of baby and toddler clothing not only
    has NO relation to the child's age, but is wildly inconsistent between
    brands and even within some brands.
    
    And snowsuits are even worse.  I found they were very short in the
    crotch.  So my daughter wore a much larger size snowsuit than other
    clothing.  Just to get the torso long enough, and the arms and legs
    were much too long.  At least she didn't need mittens!
    
    For her second winter, I got a 2-piece snowsuit with jacket and pants. 
    Turned out to be an excellent decision, both for sizing flexibility AND
    because she often wears the jacket without the pants, right through
    April here in New England.  For an infant, the 1 piece, 2 zipper suits
    are more convenient, though.
    
    But anyhow - unless you get an excellent price on an infant snowsuit,
    don't buy ahead of time.
    
    One more thought - stay with the cotton-texture fabrics.  I bought a
    nifty snowsuit made of rip-stop nylon.  WRONG.  Try holding on to a
    slippery baby while you shimmy across the ice.  Returned that one to
    the store.

    
    Laura I agree with the idea of a 2 piece snow-suit also, (conflicting
    myself here a bit but...)  My step-mom got my son a nice 2 piece snow
    suit type (all cotton, not REAL heavy, but plenty warm) that only
    lastest through the fall, (size-wise), but it was a godsend. It was
    perfect for the fall, somedays are colder than others, where he would
    need the pants, the next day it would be 50 degrees and the pants
    weren't necessary. It was once he grew out of that (sz 3-6 mos) that we
    got more of a one-piece snowsuit for the heavy-duty NE cold. But it was
    a one zipper type and it was a struggle to put on every time. I agree
    with the "crotch" problem too. My mom bought the snowsuit a few months
    ahead, and it was a 9 mos size, and I never thought it would fit him,
    (it looked so LONG), but it did, crotch-wise, just that the arms and
    legs were a bit long. Oh well, it kept him warm. 
    
    chris
    

  When buying baby clothes at yard and rummage sales for 25-50 cents per item, 
I wouldn't worry too much about if they are going to fit perfectly, or if you
have too much of something.  You can always donate them to an adoption agency
that does international adoptions.  They look for clothes in good condition to
send to orphanages.  Or you could donate them to charity.  It is so fun buying
them that I would do it just for the dreaming it provides!
	Linda

We had a winter garment (don't remember whether it was a snowsuit or a sweater 
that zippered up the BACK.  We found it much easier to use.

Clay

    As the snowsuits go, I was told and always used the rule of "buy the
    snowsuit 6 months larger than the current size".  I believe this
    reasoning is so the baby won't outgrow it before winter is over.
    
    Something else I did, thanks to mother inlaw, was she purchased two
    tiny sweatsuits, two piece, at a consignment store in Auburn.  I often
    used them over the little stretch and play suits.  Usually it was just
    for warmth, or if it just wasn't quite cold enough for the bulky
    bunting.  
    
    As a warning, there is something about snowsuits that can turn a happy,
    mild mannered baby into a screaming monster.  Ask me!  It was a
    nightmare getting AJ into a snowsuit, and he had to be the mellowist ki
    they ever put on earth!
    
    Lyn

    My wife and I plan to visit the baby store and choose the brands and
    model numers of all the baby stuff we need. We'll then give a copy of 
    the list to the store to include in our file and copies will go to 
    shower invitees as well. We feel this will help prevent duplicates and 
    also help people who want to know precisely what we want/need.
    
    I've put together a shopping chart that lists what we feel are all the
    essentials. If you'd like a copy of the chart for your own use, you may
    copy it from CUPMK::USER4:[PHILBROOK.PUBLIC]B_S.PS (this is a PostScript
    file).

    Mike

The people in this file seem so helpful that I thought I would impose
and ask for edits on my list of what I can buy before my baby comes in 
September.  I am only buying things that I need right away.  Things like
formula, (I will be breastfeeding anyways), bottles, wipes, etc. I 
understand are best to wait and see what the baby will like.  How
am I doing so far:




Rocking Chair
Bassinet - needed for 1st month in our bedroom
Small Crib  - needed for downstairs and 2nd month in our bedroom
Large Crib - NOT needed till 3rd month and on??
Crib/Changing Table/Playpen - you know the GRACO kind?
Crib Mattress and bumper pads
Car Seats (2)
Diaper Pale
Baby Monitor
Blankets
Sheets
Stroller
Onesizes
Faceclothes
Hooded Bath Towels
Hats
Socks


Any help is greatly appreciated.  Thanks again,


cj

    On the car seats - Do you have an infant seat?
    
    We had a "regular" car seat - advertised to be used with a baby 0 - 40
    pounds.  When our little 5lb. 12oz.'er was ready to come home from the
    hospital - she got lost in that car seat.  It looked both uncomfortable
    and unsafe.  So our first stop on the way home from the hospital was
    Toy's 'R Us to buy an infant seat which we used for ~7 months, but well
    worth the expense.
    
    My 2 cents...

Hi Carla,

Why do you need 3 cribs?  I'd just put the baby in his/her own crib right
from the start unless you're having the bassinet in your room to make it
easier for you for night feedings.  The other option is to use the smaller
crib (I'm assuming you mean a porta-crib -- I loved my Graco and still use
it for overnights) in your room instead of a bassinet, and then have a regular
crib for night time in the baby's own room.  And if you are referring to a
porta-crib, you're also covered on item 5.

There's a discussion in here somewhere about changing tables.  I have one and
never used it.  Some people use them all the time.  You may want to look at
that discussion to see if you really want/need one.

Are you getting an infant car seat?  For some infant seats like the Century,
you can just buy a second base instead of getting another car seat. That's
what we did and it worked quite well.

Are you getting a diaper service?  I think some of them might provide a 
pail for the dirty diapers, but I don't really know as we use disposables.
If you are using disposables and are planning on using the diaper pail for
the dirty diapers, I found that just throwing them in the trash worked fine,
and we take the trash out when it's full which is every day or two.  

And I bought hooded towels but found that I used regular towels more often.
And now the kids just use our bath sheets which they love.

Cathy

Carla,

I agree with the comments on the cribs - 3 sounds excessive. Try to borrow
a bassinette from a friend if you can -- it'll probably last you more than
a month (I think we used one for about 3 mos.) and will be easier to get
the baby in and out of than the port-a-crib. I agree it's handy to have on
the first floor if your bedrooms are upstairs, etc.

I'd also say to get one infant carseat/carrier (we had one from Century with
a sun shade option that was excellent for our summer baby) and then either
get a second base for it or wait until you really need a second one (i.e.
after your maternity leave it becomes more of a necessity) to purchase it.
Plus, you can take the baby to the store and see how s/he fits, compare the
features, etc.

Just a few more items for your list:

A couple types of pacifiers
Bottle of baby bath or mild handsoap like Dove/Ivory (for 1st "baths")
Box of mild laundry detergent like Ivory/Dreft to pre-wash those outfits
Couple packages of "Onesies"
Headrest pad (semicircle thing) for carseat/carrier
Rubber sheet for crib, smaller rubber sheet sections for lap,chg. table...
Nursing pads if you plan to breastfeed
Couple boxes of hospital or maxipads (what fun!)
Lots of film!

If you can request any shower items, I'd highly recommend asking for a
rocker/bouncer (sometimes called summer seat). We received one (from Tyco,
I believe) with a removable sun bonnet and toy bar and my son lived in
that thing for the first 4 mos. or so until he could sit up.  It seemed
cooler than the carseat/carrier, lighter, and at a better angle for seeing
the world around him (and for us to see him, too ;-).

Good luck and remember you'll figure out what works best for you over
time -- just like the rest of us have.

-Cori

    I should of clarified alot of my things.
    
    First of all, we live in a renovated barn at the moment.  Our first
    thought when I announced I was expecting and from everyone was, "when are
    you moving?" because you see we have a spiral metal staircase that is
    awfully narrow that leads to the loft bedroom and a balcony overlooking
    the living/family room.  Its not a safe place for a child but an infant
    can be manageable.  This is why I thought of having a small crib (which
    I already have from my mother) downstairs and the bassinet (which I
    already have from my sister in law upstairs).  I plan on only using the
    spiral stairs once in the morning when I get up and again at night when
    we go to bed.  I figured I could use the babypak to carry the little
    one and this would enable my hands to be free.  As time goes by, and
    the little one grows, we will need the crib upstairs and the GRACO that
    Cathy mentioned downstairs until we find a place that is 2bedroom.  I
    anticipate sticking around this place till the spring if we are lucky.   
    Oh, and I do plan to breastfeed so night feeding would be better with a
    bassinet and also enable me to not have to go downstairs for a bottle.
    
    As for the car seats, I was going to get an infant one for my car and a
    regular size one (or whatever regular is for a few months old,
    depending on their size, etc.) for my husband's truck.  I was going to
    purchase (and forgot to add) one of those infant car seat terry cloth
    things that help the baby fit into car seats when they are so little
    that their heads bob around and if my husband needed to go out he could
    use that.  Also, these are great for baths, or so I have heard.
    
    Does this make more sense?
    
    cj
    
                                                 

	Diapers ?

	It may sound stupid, but my water broke 4 days early, and was
	advised not to drive (lest labor begin while I was out!).

	I hadn't bought diapers yet, and didn't even think of it until
	I arrived home from the hospital.  I had to break the "don't drive
	for a week after delivery" recommendation to go get some.

	Karen

    	Boy when I think of all the stuff I purchased for the first baby
    and then looked at all the stuff I actually used......


    	Maybe it's because this is the second baby, maybe not, but:

    	I use regular towels to dry him.

    	When it's chilly I nine times out of ten, cover him with one of my
    sweatshirts because I can't find an extra blanket.

    	He sleeps on the top of a changing table (it is an older one that
    has a thin mattress and railing all around).

    	He has two pacifiers (Spencer had a truckload that he didn't even
    use).

    	The diaper pail is the bathroom wastebasket.

    	We have just found ourselves not as caught up in the "do I have
    every little gadget that I need for the baby" routine. (although
    unfortunately we did get caught up in the "do I have enough toys for the
    kids" routine and our house closely resembles that of a well stocked
    day care).

    	Specifically for the baby, we do have an infant seat but have not
    purchased another car seat as we are hoping that Spencer can move into
    a toddler booster seat by the time Griffin will need the larger seat.

    	And of course we do have the "baby bucket" something I can not live
    with out for lugging Griffin from here to there.

    				Wendy

    
    	One other thought, you'd do best to have at least some formula on
    hand. Every once in awhile breast feeding does not work out and you
    have to use formula instead.
    
    				Wendy

    I agree that you need to have diapers on hand or have prearranged with
    a service to begin delivery as soon as you call.  Also, think about
    yourself, too, in the early preparation, what about nursing bras,
    nursing pads. My last day of work before leave was a Friday, I figured
    that I had at least a week if not the full two before I would deliver,
    so I decided to do my shopping the first week I was home.  The very
    next morning I went into labor and when we came home from the hospital
    it was a mad scramble getting to the store as my milk came in.
    
    Enjoy all the preparations, your baby will be here before you realize
    it. 
    
    Susan

    Ya Ya Susan, do you really think I feel that the baby will be here
    before I realize! :) :)  Although it does seem that its going by fast
    there are some days that I feel like "isn't there anything else to
    think/talk about?  When is the waiting goin' to be over!" 
    
    Thanks for all the notes.  Unbelieveable, but my list has grown
    alot.  I will enjoy picking up these items however, they just 
    aren't the same as the other shopping I have to do!
    
                                                             

RE: formula, pacifiers, and breastfeeding

We had a difficult time teaching our infant how to latch on properly.
Our lactation counsellor said no bottles (not even breast milk) or
pacifiers 'til after 3 weeks.  It was a tough 3 weeks, but I'm glad 
we did it. (Our pinky fingers were sore from serving as pacifiers!)
Katy now thinks all the pacifiers we bought pre-birth are toys.  
She chews on the non-nipple side!

If I'd had formula at home, I fear I might have opted for that instead
of persevering with breastfeeding.  I'm glad we managed to stick with it.

These are all individual choices, of course.

    RE: formula and breastfeeding
    
    You just never know - so I wouldn't stock up too much on formula or
    nursing "supplies".
    
    I had intended to breastfeed for 6-8 weeks prior to returning to work.
    Little Lauren had different ideas.  She arrived 3.5 weeks early and had
    no interest in breastfeeding.  Actually the lactation specialist said
    her sucking reflex wasn't well developed at this point.  They wanted
    her fed immediately because she was small - so we supplemented.
    
    The specialist said it would be a rough 2-4 weeks and if Lauren wasn't
    eating we would have to continue supplementing.  At that point we
    decided to formula feed.  
    
    Also, with regard to picking up a few diapers - good to have on hand. 
    When my water broke, I called the nurse prior to going to hospital and 
    she told me to "use a diaper - they're really absorbant".  It worked for
    me!
    

I wouldn't stock up on pacifiers, either, because you don't know if your
baby will like to use one, or it the little angel will only use 1 particular
kind. In my case, Jessica refused any and all types of pacifiers and would
only suck on a nipple if she was going to get food.  Sucking just to pacify
herself was reserved for her thumb, and she started that while she was still
in an incubator!  Brad, on the other hand, loved a pacifier but would only
use the NUK for infants.  And even that only lasted the first 30 weeks or
so after which he decided that his fingers, usually the 2 middle ones, were
much better.  

At 2, Jessica still sucks her thumb when she is tired or is going to sleep.
Brad gave up sucking his fingers around 6 months old.

    With due respect to those who use pacifiers, not all agree.  I always
    disliked them and only planned to give my child one if she couldn't
    calm down any other way.  I took a wait-and-see attitude and it turned
    out my daughter never needed one and didn't miss it.  (She doesn't suck
    her thumb, either.)
    
    Feelings run strong on this topic, and I don't want to start up another
    debate.  Suffice it to say to expecting parents that a pacifier is not
    a necessity for many kids, more of a parental preference.  Remember
    that a dropped pacifier while sleeping may cause a baby to require your
    assistance to regain the pacifier to get back to sleep.  And that you
    will eventually have to wean the child from the pacifier, which may be
    well after the child starts talking.
    
    Again, I intend no disrespect to those proponents of the pacifier.  Nor
    do I imply that their kids don't turn out fine.  I just want to present
    the other side of the picture  so expectant parents can be well 
    informed.
    
    Laura

I agree that pacifiers are not a necessary item.  My sister is a day care
provider and she also is a firm believer of this.  What's really interesting
is that she has a number of children who enter her center with a strong
attachment to a pacifier.  She slowly goes through the proccess of breaking the
attachment to it.  The funny thing is the child learns to adapt at school just
fine, but when they get home they just can't live without the pacifier.  Sort
of lets you know who really controls our lives!

Michael

A few other things - if and when the baby gets sick, it can
be impossible to get to the store, so:

rectal thermometer (may be donated by hospital, call and ask;
	also ask if they use Centigrade or Fahrenheit)
Pedialyte (electrolyte for fluid replacement, used to treat
	   diarrhea)
Tylenol  (infant drops for fever)
petroleum jelly (used to lubricate thermometer, also for
	bottom protection during diaper rash)
fingernail clippers (I prefer scissors, some prefer actual
	clippers)


Pat

I certainly agree that pacifiers aren't NECESSITIES; but is seems to me that, 
if you are not OPPOSED to them, it's something that's worth getting.  If you 
need one, it will probably be in the middle of the night, when the stores 
aren't open.  If your baby refuses to use it, your lost investment, is what, 
a couple of bucks?  It's not like an expensive piece of furniture.

Clay  

    This is for a little later, but don't forget the syrup of ipecac
    
    Another *REALLY* nice to have I found, was those small "travel-size"
    bottles of shampoo and baby bath.  You can get a little "travel kit"
    for ~3-4.00 at just about any dept store.  I used the shampoo and baby
    bath (with FLIP tops, please!) most often when they were little, but
    also all winter.  You can toss the shampoo right into the bath water i
    the little bottle, and by the time you're ready to use it, it's warmed
    up (so baby doesn't mind), and there's also a flip top, so it's a one
    hand operation for Mom/Dad.  Plus the kids *LOVE* to grab them and hold
    on to them - they're just the right size for little hands.  Then when
    the small bottle's empty, I'd refill it from a larger (cheaper!) size
    bottle.  Worked great for both of my boys, and I plan to do it again
    with this one.
    
    I think that it's Baby Magic that has the flip-tops.  If I remember
    right, Johnson & Johnson has "screw" tops.  
    
    Patty

	Re: backup formula
	When my wife and I were in Lamaze class, we filled out a form they
passed out for free samples of formula.  I probably also filled out something
from the freebie "Baby Talk" magazines in the OB's office.  Bottom line: we
ended up with a couple of types/brands of formula, pre-mix and dry, coming in
the mail.  A well-stocked backup (depending on Dr. recommendations, baby
preference, etc) for zero cost.

	Re: pacifiers
	The hospital nurses seem to want to use them, whether you really
want them to or not.  Without getting into that discussion, let me say that
you will come home with 2-3 pacifiers for "free."  (Probably Nuk brand,
better than "regular" ones.)  And you may find as we did that you give up your
"pacifiers are evil" convictions at about 3:00am on the second night home. :-) 
Fortunately, our son (now 7.5 months) never took to them much, and he probably
hasn't used one since he was 2 months old.  Or maybe it's that *we* never
took to using them much, and stopped early enough that it wasn't an issue.
Whatever.

	Good luck,

	Brian W.

    
    Spencer never took to a pacifier and so it was easy for us to say
    "never would I give...., my kids don't use...etc."
    
    	Griffin came out sucking a pacifier. He just seems to like it and
    gets tremendous pleasure from it. All of my views have changed to "if
    he needs it and it makes him happy, he can use it" To date he does not
    use it all the time and does not use it at night at all.
    
    	To each kid their own.
    
    				Wendy

Somebody entered a note in this notes file somewhere with a very long
list of all those little things that a new mother might need from
bottles to baby wipes to whatever.  I can't find it!  Anybody know
where it was?  I've been poking around off and on for the past couple
of days.

Karen