Conference moira::parenting

Our almost 3 year old is larger than average.  Last I remember he was at
the 75% percental for height and 90% for weight.

He shot through clothes fast at under a year old.  Since being two, he's
slowed down some.  He's tending to get a bit taller and skinnier rather
than "plump".  Before walking he became quite plump, since he couldn't
excercise beyond screaming and kicking.  8-)

My only advice I guess is not to buy too many expensive clothes, since yours
will go through them fast.  Look for sales and buy the next size up, since
you'll probably need it "soon".  Get stretchy stuff (sweat suits, etc), and
get them larger than you need.  They'll shrink, and the kid will grow!  And,
as I said, our experience is that ours slowed down a bit.  Also keep the
hardly worn clothes.  You can either lend them, or if you get another kid,
they can use them...

As for problems carrying, look into the proper ways to carry "heavy"
things.  Ie, don't bend over and force your back to lift him, use your
legs instead to lift him, etc..  I found that by carrying him around alot
I simply got used to it.

Charlie

    My daughter grew like a weed the first nine months and then her growth
    slowed considerably.  She had been off the charts for height and around
    the 70% percentile for weight.  Now at 16 months she wears the same
    clothes she wore last winter.  She really hasn't grown much at all. 
    She is wearing primarily 2T.
    Now she is at the 80% for height and the 25% for weight and someone
    called her petite the other day.
    I am told that usually breastfed babies are big for their age the first
    nine months and then formula fed babies catch up at about a year. 
    
    Your son's growth rate will most likely slow down by one year.
    
    Nancy
          

    I'm hoping he's not too plump, just big. Get hime moving around in baby
    exercise programs so that he can develop crawling and walking skills.
    
    Enjoy it. He's healthy. I just heard about a little one undergoing
    surgery because he can't keep food down and is not gaining weight. 
    
    As for clothes, I remember loving the ones with the very long cuffs;
    fold them over and then let them down. So long as he can move
    comfortably in the clothes, they are not too big...so buy big and ask
    everyone you know for hand-me downs. It is what got us through.
    
    My daughter went from 8 1/2 pounds to 15 pounds in 2 months. I had a
    long conversation with a cousin about how not to shrink clothes when
    drying...It never occurred to me she was actually growing between
    wearings. In our case it was overcoming malnutrition which caused the
    growth. She eventually leveled off...wait till you have to buy shoes
    and the feet grow every 2 months !
    
    Enjoy !

    
    Another thing ... for clothes "around the house", particularly PJs ,
    you can use larger kids t-shirts and that sort of stuff, more as a
    "dress" to help provide another layer. 
    
    Jonathan's 2, and doesn't have a lot of pjs that keep him warm, or
    sometimes he's just running a little chilly - I take 1 of his older
    brother's t-shirts, right over his other pjs, and it works GREAT!  And
    they all think it's cute too.  And in a few years, he wears them for
    regular shirts.
    
    They get old so FAST!!!
    

    
    My daughter was always wearing clothes made for kids twice
    her age, for quite a while. I remember now how fast she grew 
    out of her clothes. I bought a lot of overalls, since they
    seemed to fit her for a longer period of time. I bought her
    clothes a bit big and I rolled up the sleeves and legs. Here
    in the US, one can find toddler clothes for ages 1 thru 4 
    (1T - 4T), so a big baby can still looks like a baby, not an 
    older kid. When I had to pick her up or hold her for a long time, 
    I made sure that my posture was correct, eg. bending at the knees 
    instead of at the waist. My daughter did slimmed down substantially
    after she started walking and running. At 10, she is still tall, 
    but she is of normal weight now.
    
    
    Eva
    

My son Corey has always been a larger-than-average boy.  Currently, he is
19 months old and 34 lbs.  He has basically been 75% for height and 90%
for weight, but at his 18 month check-up his height went up to the 90%
range.

Luckily, my sister has been giving me tons of clothes that her son had
outgrown which has been my saving grace since he has also grown out of
the different sizes very quickly.  He is now into size 2T.  Sometimes
the pants or sleeves are a little long, but I just roll them up.  Buy sizes
bigger than he needs so that they do end up lasting longer!  You might also
want to try "used clothes" stores.  Sometimes you can get some very nice
clothes fairly cheap.

My son has always looked older for his age, but I do try sticking with
overalls and one-pieces that snap under the legs when possible, because I
think it does make him look younger!

As for the carrying - I find that VERY difficult.  Corey is solid and I'm
7+ months pregnant, so all the more reason not to pick him up.  However,
there are times when I have to pick him up.  I just try to do it slowly and
to be careful.  Also, at 19 months, I think Corey has built up my strength
in my back and arms, but I do try to hand him off to my husband when he
gets to be too much.

It does seem that Corey's weight has slowed down a little even though he
does eat about the same.

Good luck!

/Karen

    With Cody we haven't had to contend with weight, just height. At 2 1/2
    he is in size 5's. My girlfriend's daughter, born 2 days before Cody,
    had the weight issue and as suggested, BUY BIG, Cuff and tape hems.
    Buy gently worn previously owned clothes and hand-stitch elastic in
    spots. With my friends daughter, we took folds in lengths of sleves and
    basted ribbons over the fold. We also basted elastec onto the sides of
    bigger outfits to pull the waist in.....etc.

    
    Proper lifting and holding is incredibly important for your body and
    back. When my son was 6 months old I started physical therapy for  
    6 months. In labor he really knocked my sacrum and several related
    areas out of whack and I could barely walk or hold him.  In addition to
    working my body back to shape the physical therapists spent a considerable
    amount of time teaching me how to use my body with Alex. He was 90th
    percentile in weight til around 15 months and then he stopped gaining
    and just grew in height, as others have already mentioned their kids did.  
    
    The key things I learned from physical therapy were: it didn't matter 
    that I'm 5'7" and I "used" to be in great shape, my back can be ruined 
    just as quickly as the petite woman.  I learned not to hold him on 1 hip or 
    the other.  If I do, I only do it for very short times and then switch.  
    Best is to clutch him to you in the front of your body. I realize it's
    a bit awkward sometimes and you still have to be careful you have your
    pelvis in the "pelvic tilt". Bend your legs when picking him up. When I 
    pick him up I try to feel it in my thighs, bum and arms. Not my back. This 
    is great exercise too. They said big danger places are picking the child up
    from the crib and taking out of the car. These situations make it easy
    to actually be (incorrectly) holding the baby more at arms length and
    you will automatically use your back. When lifting always try to keep the 
    baby as close to your body as possible.  This might mean you kneel or
    do it in a two stage process.  Another really important thing is to 
    strengthen the stomach muscles.  If you haven't been exercising
    gradually and gently do crunches and other stomach exercises. Stengthening 
    the legs and bum would also help..and arms too.  
    
    Even saying all this there are times now (Alex is 29 months) on a
    Sunday night or after a long weekend my lower back is absolutely killing me.
    I'm really trying not to carry him as much any more but I like the
    contact as much as he does.
    
    Kathy
    
           

    I too have a big boy.  He's 2yr10mth and 39lbs (although he's been
    39lbs since spring so he is "slimming down" I guess).  
    
    His car seat is my biggest pain.  This because here in New England, the
    weather is getting colder and the layers of clothes make it almost
    impossible to fit him in his booster car seat (can't fit in the full
    one at all anymore).  With the coat and soon the snow pants, there's no
    way he'll be sitting in the seat.
    
    Anyone know the legal age to have a young child directly in a seatbelt
    in New Hampshire?
    
    Although he won't be able to see out the windows, at least he will be
    more comfortable.
    
    Chris

    I believe the N.H. age for seatbelts is 4 yrs old.  
    
    Does your booster seat have a shield that can be removed?  Our booster
    seat had an arm that went accross the child's lap.  You could change
    which side the arm opened on, or remove it all together when the child
    reached a certain age/weight. We used it without the arm for a while to
    keep the shoulder belt from hitting Russell in the neck.  I think he
    was about 3 at the time.  
    
    	marianne

    Colorado is 4 years of 40 pounds.
    
    My lightweight Carrie fit in the seat comfortably to age six, but she
    didn't break 40 pounds until she was 5 1/2.  Once she started
    Kindergarten we took her out of the seat.
    
    

    I just asked this question at the Pedi's office too.  I also have a
    light weight.  5 Years, 37 lbs.  They told me that their guide line is
    4 years, 40 lbs, or 40 inches.  Preferrably meeting 2 out of three of
    these.  This is in Mass.
           

    I just read an article that really shocked me ....
    
    In NH, until age 4, they must be in some type of child seat (car seat,
    booster, etc).
    
    Must be buckled until age 12. (I think it's '12 and under').
    
    There are some booster seats that only have the bottom part, and allow
    you to use the regular seat belt across their waist, and the seat belt
    feeds through the booster a little.  I think I've seen them at JC
    Penny.  We also used to have one that the shield piece was adjustable. 
    Chris used it till he was 5, without a problem.
    
    I think the problem is that they're too short for the belt to fit
    across the hips properly.
    
    -Patty

    Patty,
    
    I don't understand... what part "really shocked" you?  I'm in Mass., 
    and while I don't remember the cutoff for seat/booster, we have 
    the same seatbelt requirement as NH.  It's always seemed reasonable
    to me.
    
    Leslie

    
    I think what "really shocked me" was that I somehow had convinced
    myself over the years that the age was around 2-3 .... four just seemed
    REALLY old to require a booster seat (till you take a good look at how
    short a 4 yr old is! (-:).
    
    ... and because I don't think that Jason was in a booster till he was
    4, which means, aside from him being in danger, I was breaking the law
    without even knowing it.  Hmmmmmmm - I WISH I could remember!!!
    
    -Patty

    :-D  Yup, I think Alex had the booster seat up *to* age 5, maybe
    beyond, but the chief reason was to get her up high enough a) to see
    out the windows :-} and b) for the shoulder seatbelts to fit right. 
    I remember Marlboro had one or two seatbelt-safety-frenzy days, where
    the police had a virtual roadblock on Main Street, checking all cars. 
    I don't think in general they can pull you over JUST to look at
    seatbelts, but if you have a taillight out and you get pulled over for
    that, then they can fine you or whatever if the kids are "loose".  (Our
    rule, though, is that the car doesn't roll if even one person is not
    buckled in.  [Grandma is not fond of this rule.])
    
    Leslie

    Patty,
    
    don't worry about it too much.  When Lolita was little there were few
    if any child restraints and they were very expensive.  There were no
    laws about belting children in either.  She road on the floor of the
    passenger's seat in a laundry basket until she was big enough to fit
    into one of the gawd awful "safety seats" of that time, and then only
    for long distances.  Amazing she got through life with only one scar
    from hitting the dashboard.  
    
    Carrie and Atlehi never have had the chance to experience that variety
    of physics they are always restrained in vehicles.
    
    meg

switching back to the original topic...

My son, too, was 26 pounds by his first birthday.  Last week
he turned 16 months and is still 26 pounds, so his growth does
appear to have slowed (perhaps because he has begun walking or
perhaps because he has been sick on and off this fall).  Unlike 
my daughter who was walking at 11 months, he only started walking 
about a month ago, at 15 months.  I have not had back problems 
from carrying him, but am having feet problems -- falling arches.  
(Any suggestions on how to make falling arches less painful are 
greatly appreciated.  I have already tried inserts.  Anyone know 
any good stretches?)  Like a previous noter said, I was surprised 
by this because I am a runner and generally consider myself in 
good shape.

As far as clothes, I have found that pants & shirts are a 
better buy than overalls or one piece outfits.  This is because
my son quickly outgrows the maximum height that the one piece
outfit/overalls allow.  With pants, even if they are a little
short, he can still wear them comfortably.  

Likewise, I have found that pants without elastic around the
ankles are a better buy.  Firstly, you can buy them big and 
easily turn up the cuffs until he grows into them.   Secondly, 
they don't crawl up his leg (to just under his knee) as he is
growing out of them -- they just look a little short, as opposed
to looking like knickers.

Mary

re: .18
    
>>from carrying him, but am having feet problems -- falling arches.  
>>(Any suggestions on how to make falling arches less painful are 
  I asked my doctor about this. He suggested that I have the shoe
    store put in real arch supports (sometimes called cookies) instead
    of the store-bought Dr. Scholl ones. He said I had plantar fascitis --
    I'm not sure if that translates to fallen arches. I've found that
    Alec's Shoe store in downtown Nashua does a great job on those arch
    supports (at $1 extra per shoe) -- they even put them in my Nike 
    run/walk shoes.
    
    re: Boosters for tall kids
    My second son is tall too, so at 2 1/2 I put him in a Century Breverra
    toddler booster. It's the high back kind. For now, the car seat belt
    goes through the seat, then the child goes in a T-shield restraint (I
    think the new ones have a 5-point restraint). When he outgrows the
    shield, you can use the seat to raise the kid to use a shoulder
    harness. 

    
    	I had plantar fascitis beginning at the very very end of
    	my pregnancy.  It lasted until Andrew was about nine months
    	old, which, coincidentally, is the common duration of that
    	injury.  It feels like a pull in the arch, close the wear
    	the heal starts.  Mine was usually more painful in the morning,
    	or when first trying to walk after sitting for a while.  I'll
    	try to remember to look up remedies/suggestions in my books
    	tonight, in case that is what you are suffering from.
    
    	Karen
    

    
    I had plantar fascitis a while back as well (not pregnancy related),
    and is one of those things I'll never forget ....
    
    The Dr said it's normally caused by excessive pressure to the arch area
    - seen a lot in painters or anyone who stands on ladders frequently.  I
    happened to be sawing boards, and was stepping on the board to hold it
    still.
    
    The symptoms for me, were extreme pain 1st thing in the morning, or
    after resting for a longer period of time, gradually decreasing as the
    day went on. 
    
    The remedy was to take anti-inflammatories (at the time, Motrin was
    still prescrip, and what they gave me), regardless of how the foot
    felt, for a week solid, try to do stretching exercises *A LITTLE* (too
    much exasperates it), and try to not sit for too long, without walking
    around.
    
    The problem is that there are (probably more, but at least) two layers
    of muscle in the bottom of your foot.  There's a muscle that runs from
    your heel area, to around the ball of your foot.  Your arch muscle is
    over that muscle, and runs more at an angle.  The injury is in the
    heel-to-ball-of-foot muscle, when it becomes strained, and swollen.  As
    you rest, muscles contract, so the arch muscle is then literally
    pushing on the underlying heel-to-ball muscle, and that's what causes
    the pain.  It took about 2 weeks for this to completely go away, after
    I saw the Dr.  And about a week before I went to the Dr.
    
    AND it taught me to never use any strength on the "arch" part of my
    foot - use the heel or ball instead.  Seems to work for me ....
    
    

>   The symptoms for me, were extreme pain 1st thing in the morning, or
>   after resting for a longer period of time, gradually decreasing as the
>   day went on. 

yes, this is exactly what I am feeling.  I think mine was caused by 
a combination of carrying my son and running > 10 miles a week...  but
I haven't been running now for weeks.  It is interesting that the foot 
that hurts the most is the on the same side that I ususally hold my son.  
Perhaps it is time to see the doctor.  For a while there, I had thought 
this was all in my mind as it always goes away after walking around.

thanks for the help,
Mary

    
    I'm sure there are other symptoms, but the real "clincher" for this
    diagnosis, was that the pain subsided the longer you were using it. 
    This is because (did I say this?) the overlapping muscle loosens and
    stretches out, putting less pressure on the underlying injured muscle.
    
    Warm and cool alternating foot soaks helped a lot.  Warm first, to
    relax the muscle, then cool, the help take down the swelling.  Do that
    first thing in the morning, will probably help a lot.  And wearing
    slippers or loose shoes helped too.
    
    Good Luck!!  And if you do go the "motrin" route, you have to KEEP
    taking them, because the anti-inflammatory works best at a constant
    level in your system, and takes a couple doses to be really effective,
    and you want to KEEP that effectiveness.  Double check with your Dr,
    but I've always been told this for anything that's on the more
    "serious" side, involving swelling.
    
    You HAVE to rest it in short spurts, and keep things loose ... good
    luck!
    
    Patty

    I just got back in the notesfile to read this, and yes I can certainly
    understand the difficulties of large babies. Both of mine were 10 1/2
    lbs and grew like mad. One is 14 and the other is 14 months. Buy cheap
    clothes and around a year old you can put them in 2 piece outfits that
    will work longer than the one piece. My baby is not on the charts for
    height and weight -his nickname is McMoose, and the older one is
    pushing 6' 3" at 14. Its real hard to carry large babies, but I have
    seen a waist pack that is designed for the babies weight to rest on 
    while the parent carries the baby on their side. I've seen them in
    one of those childrens magazines-wish I kept it. It will get easier
    soon, they will be more mobile, walking, and will need carrying less
    often. It is too bad products for babies are made for a small size
    range when so many more babies are getting bigger and bigger every
    year! Good luck....
    
    -Adrienne
    

    I just purchased the Century Breverra Toddler booster seat at Service
    Merchandise in Manchester NH.  It has the 5 pt restraint system as
    noted in prior notes.  It was on sale for 44.97 - great price (all
    carseats over $50.00 are $15.00 off - FYI).
    
    Andrew had a very comfortable ride this morning.  Thanks for the tips!!
    
    Chris

    I have a question regarding the Breverra, can it be used in the front
    seat.  I thought it could, as long as you didn't have the automatic
    seat belts, but my boyfriend is saying that he thought that kids were
    not allowed in the front in car seats that face the front.  I don't
    know where he comes up with these things, but thought I'd give him the
    benefit of the doubt and ask in here......    
    
    Thanks,
    Roberta

    I don't think the box indicates that the seat should not be used in the
    front.  Personally, I like having Andrew in the back.  He's too grabby
    and having him in the front would be a field day for him - radio,
    shifter, glove compartment....all with in a close reach.
    
    Chris

    Roberta,
    
    It is generally considered unsafe to have the child in the
    front seat.  I know there are various strings in here that
    go over that subject at great length.
    
    They say the safest place is the middle of the back seat.
    
    						cj *->

    Roberta,
    
    The "law" only regards that the child must be restrained - it doesn't
    indicate where they may/maynot sit (by your boyfriend's theory, a kid
    would never be allowed in your average pickup!)
    
    You cannot use a seat facing-rear, in the front seat, if the car has a
    passenger-side airbag, because the airbag may force the child into the
    back of the seat, causing more injury.  If the airbag didn't go off,
    all else would be the same as a car without one.
    
    As indicated, the SAFEST place to ride, for resistance to impact, is
    the center of the backseat.  In my case, if it's just me and Jonathan,
    it's MUCH safer for him to ride upfront.  When he's in the back, I find
    myself trying to reach/look back to deal with him, and that makes me a
    much less safe driver....
    
    The only other issue that I know of, with the front, would be the
    seatbelt style, but that's getting to be an issue in the back too with
    the shoulder straps in the rear seats as well.  i.e., I have 5 belts in
    my car, and only 1 is not the automatic-type. (center rear).