Conference moira::parenting

    Not sure how to deal with the house change. But as far as sibling
    arrival, I can tell you what I am doing. My dauther will turn 3 soon
    after the baby's arrival (5 weeks to go!). She knows that a baby is
    coming and has started becoming clingy - just to Mommy and resorting to
    crying even if she gets a really small booboo. I feel that it has to do
    with the coming of the new baby. So we give in to cuddling more than we
    did before she started it all over again. But at the same time we talk
    to her a lot and explain to her that she is still our baby as well. She
    will be our big baby and the new baby will be our small baby. We
    repeatedly tell her how much we love her and try to spend as much time
    with her as we can. While one of us cooks the other plays with her
    giving her our complete attention. Then after dinner, she and I spend
    our mommy-daughter special time together for over an hour - read, talk,
    sing , play - whatever she wants. 
    
    But at the same time we do not go to extremes and let her get away with
    murder. She will get a timeout if she is simply trying to push our
    buttons. 
    
    Of course, at almost 3 years of age it is easier to communicate with
    her. It may be a little more difficult to communicate verbally with a
    28 month old but you will be amazed at how much they do understand - so
    try talking to her and explain what is going to happen after the baby
    comes, etc.
    
    We even took Avanti to the hospital to show her where Mommy was going
    to be for a couple of days during the baby's arrival. We are planning a
    big exchange of presents between the siblings after the baby comes. 
    
    Shaila

    This may sound crazy, but make sure she knows she will get to *stay*
    even after the baby comes! When Joshua was not quite 3, and Carrie was
    around 1, we knew we were planning on trying to have child #3 in the
    near future. One day, Josh and Carrie were fighting over my wife's lap,
    at storytime. In exaspertion, she said, "What will you do if we have
    another baby?" Joshua promptly began sobbing way out of proprtion to
    the situation, and when he calmed down enough to talk, he told her, "I
    don't want *another* baby... I want to *Keep* Carrie!!". So, be warned
    that not all kids understnad this new baby stuff as easily as we do!
    
    --dave--

    Alyssa was 2 years 9 months when Krystin was born.  She went through
    this type of behavior before the birth too.  But as soon as her sister
    was born, I tried to let her wipe the baby, stick the tapes on the
    diapers, hold the bottle during feeding, rub lotion on the baby after
    baths, etc.  She seemed to really feel important that she was helping
    out so much.  We let her push the carriage in the mall, etc, so that
    she didn't feel like she was just tagging along.
    
    A friend of ours gave Alyssa a gift when she came to visit us in the
    hospital.  So BOTH the kids got something.  She thought that was
    wonderful!
    
    For now, I wouldn't let your child get away with everything, but let
    him/her (sorry I forgot) fold the baby clothes and put them away, maybe
    pick out a poster for his/her "new" bedroom, so that the "new" won't be
    so scary.
    
    Once the baby is born, things will seem a little less "fussy" I think.
    At least it was in our case.  But then again, every child is different.
    
    Gail

    My half-sister was 7 when my sister was born.  She was the only child
    in two families, and was very jealous.  She announced that she was
    going to hit the baby on the soft spot.  One of the things that my
    parents did was to let her name the baby.  This helped some with the
    pre-birth jealousy, but I think the real winner was when she held the
    baby for the first time.

We moved in 1986 when our son was 2, and again in 1990 when our daughter
was 2 1/2.  The book "When Grover Moved to Sesame Street" was one
that both of them enjoyed listening to.......and it seemed to help
allay their concerns about moving.

Good luck.

Frank

We will be moving at the end of the month and I need some advice on how to 
help my 3-year old son, Daniel, deal with the changes.  We moved from a house 
to a 3-bedroom apartment about 9 months ago, and my son seemed to handle it 
fine.  But lately, he's been talking alot about the "old house", so I'm 
concerned about how he'll adjust to having another "new house".

We will be moving to a smaller place, that has only 2 bedrooms, so he will 
have to share his room with his 4-month old sister.  Any ideas on how to 
make that transition easier for Daniel?

We've had so many changes in the past year:  new house, new baby sister, 
learning to use the potty.  I want to make this transition as easy as 
possible for all of us.  We will be reading the Berenstain Bears book about 
Moving Day, so that will help.  We also plan to let Daniel help pack, let 
him pick which side of the room he wants his bed on, and we (not the 
movers) will move his toys to the new place.

I'd appreciate any suggestions on how to minimize the stress.

Thanks,

Sheryl

    We've been going through a similar scenerio.  We moved (due to 
    finances, lack of spouses' work) from our home which was located in a 
    small friendly neighborhood (with friends), to a two family home owned
    by my grandparents.  The location "craps", located on a busy road not
    much of a yard, and no friends.   It was a difficult move, we didn't do
    it out of choice.
    
    I thought the transition would be easier for my 4 year old because we 
    would be living close to grama, but we are also getting the - 
    "I want to live in my old house, I miss my friend next door, I like my 
    old neighborhood)  It is very difficult, we keep stressing that there 
    isn't anyway to move back to our old house, but we are saving our money 
    to buy a better house.  
    
    Try to explain the positives to your son, are there any other families
    with children in the new area?  Maybe getting a playmate would help.
    
    One saving grace for us is that we have a park w/a playground a few 
    blocks away and Katie meets kids while she's playing.  I'm hoping once 
    she starts kindergarden it'll be better for her.
    
    Good luck        
    
    Karen